1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,519 Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Rashaan McDonald, our host the weekly Money Making 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 1: Conversation Masterclass show. The interviews and information that this show 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: provides are for everyone. It's time to stop reading other 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: people's success stories and start living your own. If you 5 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,400 Speaker 1: want to be a guest on my show, please visit 6 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: our website, Moneymakingconversations dot com and click to be a 7 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: guest button. My guest is a sort otter speaker, two 8 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 1: time bestselling author, and podcast hosts. Drawing on her extensive 9 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 1: research and experience in communications corporate leadership, she helps individuals 10 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: and organizations thrive through challenges to reach new levels of success. 11 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 1: She's here to tell us all about it. Please welcome 12 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: to Money Making Conversations Masterclass. Nina saw someone pogue. How 13 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: you doing, Nina? 14 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,159 Speaker 2: I am doing great. Thanks so much for having me on. 15 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 2: I a'm looking forward to this conversation. 16 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 1: Well, first of all, when I found out you lived 17 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: in Charles and South Carolina, you know, the thumbs went 18 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: up on both hands. 19 00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 3: Tell us about your. 20 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 2: Community soon, A fabulous community. I moved here in nineteen 21 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 2: ninety two, so I've been here a long time, and 22 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 2: I came here for a television gig, just for a 23 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,840 Speaker 2: reporter position, and I just fell in love with Charleston 24 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 2: and State. But I'm in I live in the Mount 25 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,759 Speaker 2: Pleasant area. Now I'm in the Park Circle, like North 26 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 2: Charleston area, but I'm very much a part of this community. 27 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 2: After being the news anchor here for like fifteen years, 28 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,199 Speaker 2: I'm sort of part. 29 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 1: Of the woodwork absolutely, So you know, the thing about 30 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 1: being in front of the camera, leadership motivation, We've seen 31 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 1: that's a dominant part of social media. And because of 32 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:36,759 Speaker 1: social media, mental stress. You know, I've admitted many times 33 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: on this show I've had to deal with mental stress, 34 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 1: and I'm not saying I know how to deal with 35 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: it correctly. When you talk about mental stress in the 36 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: everyday life, how do you approach it, Nina. 37 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 2: Well, there's a lot of pieces and parts to stress. 38 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 2: But I think what's really interesting now is all our 39 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 2: lives are so public it had stressed to it. So 40 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 2: think about back in the day, like when I was 41 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 2: a gymnast at LSU, I would have like sweatshirt that 42 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 2: said you know, I was a gymnast on it, or 43 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 2: my T shirt and my bumper sticker. Nowadays, we really 44 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:09,679 Speaker 2: identify ourselves a certain way and put ourselves out there 45 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 2: publicly with all the social media. So the stress comes 46 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 2: internal stress, and then we have people who really care 47 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 2: about that, validating stress. And then there's this all other 48 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 2: piece of stress that we didn't know about before, the 49 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 2: other eyes that are on us. Plus we have all 50 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:28,280 Speaker 2: of these new influences because everybody's on social media, and 51 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 2: maybe you see something that's for your buddy down the street, 52 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 2: like man, I got a new car, and that adds stress. 53 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 2: You know, all this stress we didn't see it before. 54 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 2: I don't want to know everybody's going on vacation every minute. 55 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 2: It just makes me feel bad. 56 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:47,120 Speaker 1: So I'll tell you some I hear some people just 57 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 1: addicted to social media. This is my schedule, Nina. I 58 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: get up at four thirty on Monday through Friday. I 59 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: get up four thirty Eastern Standard time. I go to 60 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 1: stagger out of my bag because I really don't want 61 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,679 Speaker 1: to get up. I stretch and watch TV at the 62 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,679 Speaker 1: same time. Have my phone and I flip it open 63 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: and I'm watching TV, so I find out about the 64 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,640 Speaker 1: weather and traffic and all that stuff. And then I 65 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: staggered to another room. When I read the newspaper. Use 66 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: I started with the Houston Chronicles originally from Houston Chronicles. 67 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 3: I was on the fine out by my hometown. 68 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: And then I read CNN, A Fox, and then I 69 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:26,359 Speaker 1: go over to ESPN, and then I go to my computer. 70 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 1: And this is all done in my world. And I 71 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: think that alleviates a lot of pressure for me. And 72 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: sometimes I may put pressure on my staff because I'm 73 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: so prepared when I come in and they're staggering in 74 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: at eight o'clock because that's what they've been told mentally, 75 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: that's when they go to work. So when you look 76 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,839 Speaker 1: at the schedule like that, I'm not saying I'm doing 77 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: the right schedule. How does house should one prepare themselves 78 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: to start their day? 79 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 2: Well, everybody has their own rituals. So there are some 80 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 2: people who need more sleep than others. 81 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 3: I think I hear that a lot. I hit it. 82 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 3: I need eight hours. My wife always said, I gotta 83 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 3: get my seven. Leave me alone. I gotta get my seven. 84 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 2: Well, my father had Alzheimer's, and so I'm really aware 85 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 2: of brain health, and so and my mental health and 86 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 2: my brain health and sleep is one of the best 87 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 2: things you can do right to avoid having Alzheimer's. Who 88 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 2: your body heels your brain heals at night kind of 89 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 2: does a reset, so you need that. But in the morning, 90 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,719 Speaker 2: I think everybody has their own routines I have. You know, 91 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 2: I've had a lot of success in my life, and 92 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 2: you know I talk sometimes. You know, people will introduce 93 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 2: me like you did. I was on the USG gymnastics team, 94 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 2: I was an Emmy Award winning a news anchor. I 95 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 2: did all these other things. But they don't really talk 96 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 2: about the negatives, the difficult things I've been through, and 97 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,159 Speaker 2: so that's what I talk about now. So my morning 98 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 2: routine really is a level set for me. Every day. 99 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,599 Speaker 2: Start with gratitude. I don't pick up my phone first thing. 100 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 2: I start my day with gratitude, and I think that's 101 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 2: one of the most important things people can do. And 102 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 2: then I also think keeping that phone off to the side, 103 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 2: have an hour, my first hour of my day. I'm 104 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 2: not picking the phone up, and I start with gratitude. 105 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 2: I stretch, move my body because I'm not a kid anymore, 106 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 2: and an all earths and if you don't, and then 107 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:17,280 Speaker 2: I spend time breathing and meditating. But I'm not a 108 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,279 Speaker 2: real zen meditator. I just get really quiet and listen 109 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 2: to my thoughts and spend time with myself before I 110 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 2: go okay. 111 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 3: You know, you know we usually listening to your thoughts. 112 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 2: What is that, well, listening to your thoughts, you know 113 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 2: through the research I've done, So I do a lot 114 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,040 Speaker 2: of research on resilience, right, And one of the things 115 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 2: that's really important as we look at how we're resilience 116 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,280 Speaker 2: is your ability to adapt in a positive way, And 117 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 2: that ties back into the adapt is learning and grow 118 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 2: stronger from things who don't go things that don't go right. 119 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 2: So a lot of times I'm listening to myself, I'm 120 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 2: thinking what's going right, gratitude, and then I go into okay, 121 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 2: what's not going right? And I try to learn from 122 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 2: what's not going right, things that I haven't done right 123 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 2: the days leading up to it, no, or of things 124 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 2: that still need more attention from me. So when I 125 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,159 Speaker 2: get really quiet, I try to hear myself think about 126 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 2: learnings from the days before, but what is really important 127 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 2: right now for my big picture of my life. So 128 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 2: resilience is about the big picture, you know, stepping back 129 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 2: and looking at the big picture of your life. And 130 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:26,040 Speaker 2: it's also about hut, you know, putting in perspective and 131 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 2: then being able to think about what I can, I 132 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 2: act on't have control over, and moving forward and learning 133 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 2: with the new learnings that you have. 134 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,279 Speaker 4: Please don't go anywhere. We'll be right back with more 135 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:48,679 Speaker 4: Money Making Conversations Masterclass. Welcome back to the Money Making 136 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 4: Conversations Masterclass, hosted by Rashaan McDonald. 137 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 3: I'm speaking to Nina Sossimonkol. 138 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 1: She's just sought out the speaker, two time bestselling author 139 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,480 Speaker 1: and podcast Let's talk. 140 00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,920 Speaker 3: Let's go back a little bit in Collin. 141 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 1: You world class gymnasts and so which creates body stereotypes, 142 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: you know, and my daughter she was a. 143 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 3: World class athlete. 144 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 1: From the standpoint of tennis, she was a feenoe and 145 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 1: so a lot of pressure to look this way to 146 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: concent training and evolution in talking to parents, because this 147 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: is all about social media now, because people really do 148 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: a lot of body shaming on social media. Talk about 149 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: that process when you stop being a gymnast and started 150 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: be living life and people started your body started to 151 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: change before social media is so dominant right now, how 152 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,320 Speaker 1: did you deal with that and how do you give 153 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: advice for individuals and parents as they see their child 154 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: change and maybe not that athlete that they wanted them 155 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: to be, but living a life that they want to live. 156 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's difficult. I have three grown children, so I've 157 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 2: gone through this with my own. I had two boys 158 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,720 Speaker 2: and a girl. So I think one of the most 159 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 2: important things about social media. When I was a young person, 160 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 2: it wasn't a thing, but I was very body conscious, 161 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 2: and as an athlete, I'm sure your daughter is the 162 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 2: same way. You really control what you eat, and you're 163 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 2: being told constantly to lose the weight and look a 164 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 2: certain way, and look good in this outfit and do 165 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 2: all things you have to do because you are putting 166 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 2: yourself on display as an athlete and either winning or 167 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 2: losing it. And there's a lot of not just how 168 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 2: muscular you are, but how low your body fat is. 169 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 2: And that's changed through the years. We look at phenomenal 170 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 2: athletes like Jordan Chiles who like broken that stereotype and gone, 171 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 2: I'm going to be me. You know, I'm that girl. 172 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 2: I'm a big fan. But I think that it back 173 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 2: when I was it certainly played a part in my gumastics. 174 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 2: I was there in the eighties, so I was beliemic. 175 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 2: My coach would say, I don't care if you have 176 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 2: to pardon, this may be trigger, but I don't care. 177 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 2: If you have to stick your finger down your throat 178 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,200 Speaker 2: or go spit in the cup, you will make way in. 179 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 2: And so that was part of what I grew up 180 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 2: with was a very different time. The sport's not like 181 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,199 Speaker 2: that now, but that has stuck with me through the years. 182 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 2: I continue to have weird body dysmorphia. I'm five foot three, 183 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 2: I'm a little bitty person, but in my head, I'm 184 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,080 Speaker 2: still too big for everything, and I have a hard 185 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,319 Speaker 2: time by clothing and I have a hard time with 186 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 2: my food choices. So it's something I've had to work 187 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,080 Speaker 2: on my whole life. And for parents, I wanted so 188 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 2: badly not to pass this along to my daughter, and 189 00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:30,960 Speaker 2: she ended up being in ballet, another area where again 190 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 2: so much has to yeah, so much has to do 191 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:38,240 Speaker 2: with your body and your and how you're built. And 192 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,559 Speaker 2: it was really that's even more difficult than gymnastics, I 193 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 2: think in some ways because you're in this, you're being 194 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 2: put on a stage right next to other people, and 195 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 2: being compared with gymnastics, you're one kind of one at 196 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 2: a time, but the comparisons and with dancing, they're constantly 197 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 2: looking in a mirror, which is hard to when you 198 00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 2: have body you're very body conscious. I think this for parents. 199 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,439 Speaker 2: There is a whole new world of body positivity out 200 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 2: there that we can lean into. It's not like it 201 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 2: used to be. Thank goodness, We're in a new era 202 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 2: of body positivity. I think encouraging healthy eating habits and 203 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 2: encouraging people everyone to take care of themselves is you know, 204 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 2: as a parent, you know, putting that responsibility back on 205 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 2: the child is really important. I'm a big fan of 206 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 2: letting your kids fail and letting them learn from it. 207 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 2: So sometimes you have to let them make some bad 208 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,199 Speaker 2: choices and then figure out how to make good ones. 209 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 3: Yeah. 210 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,319 Speaker 1: No, here's something interesting because you know, like I said, 211 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: you were training as a gymnast through your middle school. 212 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 3: Because when you start, you start that young. 213 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: Go to high school and you had your parents there, okay, 214 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,959 Speaker 1: and you're still being monitored by coaches. Then you went 215 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,959 Speaker 1: to college and your parents weren't there anymore, and so 216 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 1: you have these adults who telling you, like you said, 217 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 1: weight requirements training. And so did you grow up fast 218 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: or did you respond back to your parents about I'm 219 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: just trying to let people listening to this show to 220 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: understand some of the processes that you went through, and 221 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,559 Speaker 1: we're going to get to your book that put you 222 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: on the radar. Will be at the Bennut because of 223 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: the fact that Nina, you dealt with something that is 224 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:20,319 Speaker 1: so important today, and it's weight, it's about luck, it's 225 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: about stereotypes, it's about performance, and it's in social media. 226 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,080 Speaker 1: You know, when you know, when you see people who 227 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 1: are actors and sports, especially on the women's side, you 228 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,439 Speaker 1: don't get it that much on men. Like when Zion 229 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,640 Speaker 1: Williams weighed five hundred pounds, people say he was just 230 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 1: fat and went on by their business. Okay, a woman 231 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 1: who like Sidney Sweeney, you know, she gained weight to 232 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 1: do a boxing movie. They immediately went into the body 233 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: shaming with her brow, look at her word. She don't 234 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,240 Speaker 1: check you anymore. And so how does you deal with 235 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 1: that as a as a young adult, and then transmit 236 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: that transfer that information to your kids as well as 237 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 1: you a motivational speaker. 238 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,319 Speaker 3: So it's just not the first time you. 239 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: Heard this from anybody like me, And so I hope 240 00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 1: I am not doing any triggers here today you do. 241 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 2: I can't believe you that talked to about. No, that's 242 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 2: not the case at all. So I think you know, 243 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,960 Speaker 2: when I was young, it was a different era and 244 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 2: it was really difficult for athletes are in that eighties, nineties, 245 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 2: and even in the early two thousands. I mean, it's 246 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,439 Speaker 2: it's been very much that Victoria's Secret model or the 247 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 2: zero body fat look in the sports. So that became 248 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 2: part of my norm. And here's where it gets kind 249 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 2: of tricky. So I moved away from home when I 250 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,839 Speaker 2: was thirteen, and I moved into the Olympic Training Center. 251 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,959 Speaker 2: So from thirteen on, all those years where my body 252 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,319 Speaker 2: started to grow and change, I was living with coaches 253 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 2: for the most part, and they had more influence on 254 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 2: me than my own parents did, and I can see 255 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 2: that influence now. And then when I went off to college, 256 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 2: there was not as much structure. Actually I had a 257 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 2: little more freedom, and I started I've got the freshman 258 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 2: fifteen ban. You don't get to do that. Actually as 259 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,559 Speaker 2: a gymnaster it all falls apart, but I did that. 260 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,280 Speaker 2: I had a hard time dealing with food intake, and 261 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:13,080 Speaker 2: then I blew out my knee in college and lost 262 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 2: my sport, and it was a really difficult time for me. 263 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:19,199 Speaker 2: And then I get into an industry, which is television 264 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 2: or once again, everybody's looking at you and looking at 265 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 2: your you know how big you are and in your ratings. Yeah, 266 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 2: and I got some cheeks. I got these from my daddy. 267 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 2: They're not going anywhere, so that matter. How can I 268 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 2: get these? Are stay it? So I got into this 269 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 2: next industry where they just really pick on you and 270 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 2: will come right out and say whatever they want. I 271 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,000 Speaker 2: had two children while I was on the air, and 272 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,440 Speaker 2: I can remember women walking up to me in the 273 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,079 Speaker 2: grocery store and I'm like, got a baby on my 274 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 2: hip and one and a buggy and I'm just in 275 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 2: between newscasts, trying to get it all together, and someone 276 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 2: would walk up to me and say, oh, you should 277 00:13:56,120 --> 00:14:00,240 Speaker 2: wear that that red blazer that makes you look busty. 278 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:04,719 Speaker 2: I'm trying to get groceries from my children, right. Why 279 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,239 Speaker 2: are we having this conversation? 280 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:06,680 Speaker 3: Why? 281 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:12,319 Speaker 2: Why do you hear but people don't come up to 282 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,760 Speaker 2: you and say anything. I had a woman call me 283 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 2: one time and say, you can't wear those dangly earrings. 284 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 2: I can't hear a word you're saying. When you're I 285 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 2: just keep looking at those dangly earrings. 286 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 1: No man gets that call, No man gets the care 287 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 1: you wrinkles looking like a prune on TV. Oh god, 288 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 1: he looks he looks, he looks respected. 289 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 2: Yes, he looks charming, or he looks distinguished. 290 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 3: Right, I like that's the word, write that distinguished. 291 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:40,359 Speaker 2: Distinguished. 292 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 3: They the grave distings. 293 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: You can't a woman cannot look distinguished. Now a man 294 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,520 Speaker 1: can look distinguished. 295 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 2: Like wrinkley and old. And we are told I remember 296 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,720 Speaker 2: when I was pregnant, someone calling the TV station and 297 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 2: going tell her to push away from the table. 298 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 3: O my god. 299 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 1: And that's that's that's what we're talking about, you know. 300 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 1: And it's worse now because of social media, because of 301 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: the fact that people can comment. It's still share comments 302 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: and then forward things to other people to share comments, 303 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 1: and that's how things go viral and you can come 304 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,720 Speaker 1: up become a victim and that could be a state 305 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 1: of being a bullet being bullied through social media. Now, 306 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 1: let's talk about something that captured my attention in twenty twenty. 307 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:24,120 Speaker 1: You know, I started my podcast in twenty seventeen and 308 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 1: you didn't even know ra Sean McDonald, But with Sean 309 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: knew need them and so when this opportunity came across 310 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,480 Speaker 1: my desk the interview, I jumped on it. 311 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 3: The book This Is Not the End. And the reason 312 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 3: I talked I wanted to bring. 313 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 1: Up that book was the fact that it was a 314 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 1: personal book because they talked about some journeys. Now, I 315 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,680 Speaker 1: was fortunate I represents Stephen A. Smith, ESPN. And he 316 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,080 Speaker 1: wrote his book Straight Shooter, and it was a very 317 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 1: difficult book. He talked about it was a memoir and 318 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 1: there was a lot of moments when he had to 319 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 1: really rethink the process, how it impacted his family because 320 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,440 Speaker 1: the fact that he's may have said some things that 321 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 1: they aren't aware of or may not have wanted it 322 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: to be made in public. When you did this book, 323 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: talk about that journey and some of the challenges you 324 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,680 Speaker 1: had to go through to write it. 325 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, so it was difficult in lots of ways. So 326 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 2: the book is called This Is Not the End, and 327 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 2: it has a typewriter in the front the end, as in, 328 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,520 Speaker 2: it's not the end of your story, right, And the 329 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 2: book was really written about your journey or this whatever 330 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 2: this is that you're dealing with. And I talked to 331 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 2: the reader that way, like this thing you're dealing with. 332 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 2: But in order to explain why I might be somebody 333 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 2: listen to, I have to share and you go through 334 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 2: that cathartic process and digging up all of my this 335 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,440 Speaker 2: is so I share my big points. Yeah, yeah, let's 336 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 2: just visit that for a little while. That's so I do. 337 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 2: I do five. I go and visit five areas at 338 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 2: points in my life where I had really big failures 339 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 2: and thought this is the end, like my life's over. 340 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 2: And then the hardest one was when I was thirty 341 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 2: seven and I was involved in an accident and I 342 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 2: really went through a dark time, but I managed to 343 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 2: get out of it and have big success on the 344 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 2: other side. So what the book is is, if you're 345 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 2: in a tough spot, let me get you through this. 346 00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,360 Speaker 2: And I take people through certain steps to get them 347 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 2: just unstuck. So you don't want to be the person 348 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 2: who get stuck in the death of a loved one 349 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 2: or a divorce, or getting fired or the big things 350 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 2: that happen in our life. So I talk about in 351 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,040 Speaker 2: there not making the Olympic teen and being so full 352 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,159 Speaker 2: of shame and blame and having to walk through the 353 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 2: halls of my high school and was just so embarrassed, 354 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 2: and I felt like I'd let down my friends and 355 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 2: my family and my coaches. Obviously, so at the ripe 356 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,960 Speaker 2: old age of sixteen, feeling like a failure and that 357 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 2: I wasted my life. And then I talk about blowing 358 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 2: out my knee. When I'm nineteen and in college, I 359 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 2: ended up blow out my knee, and in order to 360 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,680 Speaker 2: keep my scholarship, they you had to work for the university, 361 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 2: and they put me in the laundry room. So here 362 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,159 Speaker 2: I am this world class athlete. I'd actually done some 363 00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,920 Speaker 2: modeling and things, and now I'm working in the lawn 364 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 2: room on crutches every day. And not like washing cute 365 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:06,400 Speaker 2: little leotards. Now I'm washing all of the athletic equipment. 366 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 2: I sometimes joke you like this, I sometimes joke my 367 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 2: claim to fame was almost that I washed Tequille O'Neal's jockstrap. 368 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:18,200 Speaker 2: Probably you know, but I worked in this laundry room 369 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,880 Speaker 2: at nineteen, and I was really another low point, thinking 370 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 2: I had wasted my whole life in the gym. Why 371 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,679 Speaker 2: you know, now, what was I going to do? I 372 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 2: just hadn't even thought it forward, and I was in 373 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 2: a really bad spot. Made some poor choices, you know. 374 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,600 Speaker 2: I can remember taking my percoset with a shot of 375 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 2: yeager and crutching my way into physical therapy and just 376 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 2: being a really unpleasant person to be around, right, But 377 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 2: I found my way out of that through some a 378 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 2: series of variables, and then I became a news anchor, 379 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 2: had shrut lake success as a news anchor, and then 380 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,440 Speaker 2: I got let go at one point and they went 381 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 2: younger and blonder, so I had to navigate my way 382 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 2: through that. So and then I had this this horrible 383 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 2: accident when I was thirty seven and that I was 384 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,120 Speaker 2: involved in, and I had to really figure out how 385 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:02,639 Speaker 2: to tell that story. That was the hardest one to 386 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,880 Speaker 2: do as far as the book goes, because that's when 387 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 2: I had real suicidal ideation and it wasn't just my 388 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 2: story to tell. There are other people involved with it. 389 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,760 Speaker 2: So it's always a balance of I really felt it 390 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,000 Speaker 2: was important to tell the story, but I wanted to 391 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 2: respect everybody's privacy and everybody else's journey that they went through, 392 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,879 Speaker 2: So that was probably the hardest part to tell. 393 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is why I brought the book up and 394 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 1: hopefully people go and pick up this book, and because 395 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:34,520 Speaker 1: it's still available and a reason because transition is happening 396 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 1: in this country right now. You know, layoffs, people being 397 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 1: fired and transitions, and so this is not the end 398 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 1: kind of like motivates people doing these moments of what 399 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:53,720 Speaker 1: may be considered darkness or unsuspecting or periods I didn't 400 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:58,400 Speaker 1: see coming. How do companies or individuals who are being 401 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 1: suddenly shocked by these job transitions, how can you evolve 402 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:05,640 Speaker 1: mistakes I'm talking about on the side of the company 403 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,200 Speaker 1: and also as individuals when these things come about, how 404 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 1: to evolve a look beyond what's happening to them and 405 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 1: see there's a positive opportunity that's being presented to you. 406 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a difficult time for so many people, and 407 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 2: so I'm really thankful that you brought this up. So 408 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 2: in the book, there's seven seven different strategies. Book is 409 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,159 Speaker 2: really written for the person going through it. It starts 410 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 2: out in the first sentence is well, this is a 411 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 2: grappy way to meet you, you know, and it's like 412 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 2: as you're going through something. So it's the book I 413 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 2: was looking for when I was in a really dark place. 414 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 2: So it is specifically strategies create a script to protect yourself. 415 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,320 Speaker 2: Put it in perspective all different things you can do, 416 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,439 Speaker 2: because that's the book I was looking for when I 417 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,920 Speaker 2: was in a tough place, because there's always these other 418 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 2: people's stories, which is the last thing you want when 419 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,480 Speaker 2: you're in your in the middle of your own tragedy. 420 00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,280 Speaker 2: And then there were a lot of PTSD workbooks, and 421 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 2: there were a lot of other things like that, but 422 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,160 Speaker 2: I wanted, like, just somebody tell me what to do 423 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,119 Speaker 2: so I don't go jump off this bridge, like I 424 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 2: just needed that. So that's what this book is. And 425 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 2: I'm my workshops called the now What Workshop, which is 426 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 2: now what you know and it gets people unstuck. But 427 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 2: there are four steps. There are four things that through 428 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 2: my research and as you said, going back and looking 429 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,360 Speaker 2: at all the unpleasant points in my life, what did 430 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 2: I do to not just survive it, but to thrive 431 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,360 Speaker 2: on the other side, to really have some big success 432 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,600 Speaker 2: on the other side of many events that would have 433 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 2: stopped somebody from progressing in their life. And so I 434 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 2: looked at those, and I looked at organizations, lead athletes, artists, 435 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 2: like musicians, you know, actors who almost almost you know, 436 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 2: hit that rock bottom and then found their way back 437 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,160 Speaker 2: to not just survive, but thrive, and the four things 438 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 2: were it's Thhis is the acronym I use because it's 439 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,640 Speaker 2: this whatever you're this is that you're dealing with as 440 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 2: I'm not going to pretend to know your world or 441 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,840 Speaker 2: how you have to manage your way through it. I 442 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,240 Speaker 2: just know whatever this is. You wake up in the morning, 443 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 2: you're thinking about this. It affects you every day, and 444 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 2: then you had a bed think of that. 445 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 3: It's big. 446 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:06,200 Speaker 2: So the tea is timeline, and that's this perspective piece. 447 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,399 Speaker 2: I ask people to make a timeline of one to 448 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,360 Speaker 2: one hundred and put dots ten, twenty, thirty, forty feet 449 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 2: all the way across to it. If you live to 450 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,320 Speaker 2: be one hundred, which I need to drink less wine 451 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,639 Speaker 2: and take better care of myself, I'm gonna pretend that 452 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 2: I'm gonna live to be one hundred. And then I say, 453 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,400 Speaker 2: on this timeline, put a dot on where you are 454 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,120 Speaker 2: right now, on what's happening. So if you're in your fifties, 455 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 2: my dot's in the fifties right in the middle of 456 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,360 Speaker 2: that timeline. Somewhere someone in their thirties their dots way 457 00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,400 Speaker 2: over here. So I asked them to put that there 458 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,679 Speaker 2: and then you know, we do a little work with it. 459 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 2: Everything you've done brought you up to this point, and 460 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,560 Speaker 2: then down below the line, I say, you know, like 461 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:43,240 Speaker 2: your your accolades, what you would put on LinkedIn, all 462 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 2: of your thinks. You bought the house, you married, the girl, 463 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,320 Speaker 2: you got the degree, took a course, whatever. That's all 464 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,800 Speaker 2: on the top, and then down below. I asked people 465 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 2: to put down all the stuff that they've gotten through, 466 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,000 Speaker 2: and I call that your reverse resume. Tough stuff we've 467 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,760 Speaker 2: all gotten through because nobody got a pass. You don't 468 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 2: know what somebody else is going through. We're all struggling 469 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,879 Speaker 2: with something. So we put that down below. But then 470 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,679 Speaker 2: there's this dot and I say, the magic in this 471 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:10,200 Speaker 2: image is all the blank space ahead. You can put 472 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 2: it there, anything you want to. All that blank space 473 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 2: ahead is for you to fill out. So that's the 474 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,359 Speaker 2: timeline thing. It's this perspective piece. And then it's a 475 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 2: little bit stoicism, a little cognitive behavior therapy, a little neuroplasticity, 476 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,199 Speaker 2: trying to change our brains, you know. But that's the 477 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 2: t and then the h is humans. When we go 478 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,680 Speaker 2: through something, we feel really alone. And the people who 479 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:33,719 Speaker 2: have big success myself and all of those incidences. And 480 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,320 Speaker 2: then also, as I said, all the research that I've done, 481 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,440 Speaker 2: people who have big success don't just survive something, but thrive. 482 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,719 Speaker 2: They don't go it alone. So you have to look 483 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,640 Speaker 2: at your people, who's helping, who's hurting, and make sure 484 00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 2: somebody's in there with you, whether it's a friend or 485 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 2: a therapist or something that's the human piece. It's h 486 00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 2: And then the eye is called isolate. And I know 487 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 2: this is a long answer, so thank you for letting 488 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,040 Speaker 2: me get through it. I call isolate, which is on 489 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 2: that dot you put line up and down on your page, 490 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,200 Speaker 2: and you can't talk about what happened before the what 491 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,080 Speaker 2: it should have could as that's the past. And any 492 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,919 Speaker 2: therapist will tell you spend all your time in the 493 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:12,159 Speaker 2: past thinking about that. That's where depression lives. And then 494 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 2: I say, okay, and on the other side that you 495 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,120 Speaker 2: can't talk about the other side of that dot, either 496 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,560 Speaker 2: the what ifs and the doom state scenarios and where 497 00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 2: does this all? You can't go there either. That's the future, 498 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 2: And then you get therapists will tell you spend all 499 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,639 Speaker 2: your time thinking about that. That's where anxiety lives. So 500 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 2: we have to be writing, like, what are we doing 501 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:31,680 Speaker 2: in this moment right now? It's the isolate, What can 502 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,680 Speaker 2: I actually take action on right do what you can 503 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 2: with what you got, and move forward. That's the isolate. 504 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,040 Speaker 2: And then the last piece is an S which is 505 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,639 Speaker 2: for story, and that's the words in our head that 506 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 2: come out of our mouth that become our story. And 507 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 2: that's some of the self sabotage and stuff that we do. 508 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 2: You know, we make that story up in our head 509 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 2: and it becomes our reality. But what's really important about 510 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 2: that when it comes to getting fired is you have 511 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,840 Speaker 2: to be or losing a job at this moment. You 512 00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 2: have to be careful about that language because you need 513 00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,399 Speaker 2: keep yourself hirable and no one wants to hire the 514 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 2: angry person. No one wants to hire the bitter person. 515 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,280 Speaker 2: So you have to you got to find somebody who 516 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,359 Speaker 2: can let that all out with. But one of the 517 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,360 Speaker 2: biggest things we need to do at this time is work. 518 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 2: Watch the language in our head. We can say that 519 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 2: I'm starting a new chapter. I've got I don't know 520 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 2: what opportunities are out there, but I'm looking for opportunities, 521 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:23,960 Speaker 2: not I got to get a job or I just 522 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,639 Speaker 2: I'm looking for opportunities, something news coming. We've got to 523 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 2: get our minds and our brains in that area, because 524 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,680 Speaker 2: when you're the one that's like, they're idiots, they don't 525 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,439 Speaker 2: know what they're doing. They shouldn't have fired me so 526 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 2: and so. Still they are good luck, They're never gonna 527 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,480 Speaker 2: make without me because he's a jerk or whatever that language. No, 528 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,360 Speaker 2: that's what the story is. When people call and check 529 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:48,000 Speaker 2: in on you, how's he doing, how's she doing? They 530 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 2: repeat what you just said, Well, he says the no, 531 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,639 Speaker 2: you're you know, they're never gonna survive without me, and 532 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 2: they should have fired so and so instead of me, 533 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 2: and they don't know what they're doing. That's the story 534 00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,880 Speaker 2: that you're putting out there. If you get fired, same 535 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 2: person gets fired and they're like, well, you know, struggling 536 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,440 Speaker 2: a little bit. I didn't see this coming, and I'm 537 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 2: looking for an opportunity. And I got to pay the rent, 538 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,120 Speaker 2: I got to get my bills paid. So I'm really 539 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 2: looking for anybody has anything. I'm a hard worker, you 540 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,480 Speaker 2: know I am. I mean, you still get to say 541 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,679 Speaker 2: you're a hard worker, you say you're looking. It's just 542 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 2: a different way of going about it. People want to 543 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:21,640 Speaker 2: hire that. 544 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 3: Person, right. You know this show. 545 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 1: First of all, I meet so many interesting people that 546 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,520 Speaker 1: I would have never met, like you, Nina. 547 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 3: I can actually launch dinner hang out with you. 548 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,879 Speaker 2: I was like, I feel like I feel like you 549 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:35,200 Speaker 2: had a. 550 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,320 Speaker 1: Little bedside man of voice, you know, like you shine, 551 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 1: come down, We'll go on. 552 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:44,399 Speaker 3: You have a great voice. You know. 553 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 1: In this world of podcasts, your podcast host just like me, 554 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 1: we always meet people, and sometimes you meet so many 555 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,880 Speaker 1: people you go wow. I didn't know that, and that's 556 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,879 Speaker 1: why I always look. I always tell people before they 557 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,440 Speaker 1: come on to the show. Ladies and gentlemen who listen, 558 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,439 Speaker 1: I always tell them, I'm just a storyteller. I bring 559 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,240 Speaker 1: some man of experts onto my show. They helped me 560 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,879 Speaker 1: tell stories on your show as a host. Any guests 561 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,440 Speaker 1: that stood out that went wow, they really I didn't 562 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,280 Speaker 1: see that coming and shared with my audience on money 563 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,840 Speaker 1: Making Conversations Masterclass. 564 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,720 Speaker 2: Yeah my favorite. I have a lot of great guests, 565 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,399 Speaker 2: if any of them here this one. Make sure I 566 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 2: said a lot of great guests. Everybody's great. But the 567 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 2: name of my show is this Seriously Sucks, the right 568 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 2: podcast when life goes seriously wrong. So I've had people 569 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,200 Speaker 2: on there who have had, you know, lost a spouse 570 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 2: or lost a child, or they've incarcerated and been addicted, 571 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 2: been human traffic. I did a lot of people on 572 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,879 Speaker 2: my show who've gone through things I cannot even imagine. 573 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,480 Speaker 2: But one of them, his name is Joe Della Grave 574 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,160 Speaker 2: and he is a three time Paralympia and now he's 575 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:54,040 Speaker 2: the head coach of the national wheelchair rugby team for Paralympia. 576 00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 2: He's this rugby two chair rugby. Oh yeah, oh yeah. 577 00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 2: And his story that see, that's just that, right, that's 578 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 2: that's the best story. He's like, yeah, we're a bunch 579 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,439 Speaker 2: of crippled people and we reel around trying to make 580 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,400 Speaker 2: each other more cripple. And I can say that, you can't, right, 581 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,960 Speaker 2: he just kill it, PC, He just kill it PC. 582 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 2: He is because I can say that and you can't. 583 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:15,480 Speaker 2: But he's just this really inspirational cool guy. We become friends, 584 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,360 Speaker 2: you know how, like you meet somebody like I feel 585 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,480 Speaker 2: like that person would be my friend. So we have 586 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 2: become friends, and we've done some speaking gigs together and 587 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 2: we're in a couple of groups together. But I met 588 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:27,680 Speaker 2: him and he has such an amazing story. He was 589 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 2: a college football player who became paralyzed from the chest 590 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:35,000 Speaker 2: down and then took him a while to get in 591 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 2: the chair. That's his thing, Like, what's your chair, folks, 592 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:39,560 Speaker 2: Sometimes you just have to get in the chair to 593 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 2: get going. You know. He really resisted getting in the 594 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 2: chair because he didn't want to be that guy. And 595 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 2: then once he got in the chair, it took him 596 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 2: down the aisle to marry his wife, it takes him 597 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 2: to the sidelines to coach his kids soccer teams, like 598 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 2: and it's taken him all over the world that chare 599 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,120 Speaker 2: to go all over the world and be and represent 600 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,040 Speaker 2: the United States and be a paralympian. So he's one 601 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,800 Speaker 2: of my favorite ones because I cannot imagine that. And 602 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 2: when it comes to me sharing my stories of how 603 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 2: I got out of tough stuff, that's why my podcast 604 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,560 Speaker 2: works because people have gone through stuff a lot tougher 605 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 2: than me, and then we can kind of test my 606 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,960 Speaker 2: concept the tchis and they can take me through the 607 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 2: things that they did and they have done the same things, 608 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 2: which is really a very reassuring for me from my research, 609 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,560 Speaker 2: but also just a cool way to think about how 610 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 2: people get out of really well. 611 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:30,640 Speaker 1: It took five years. I finally got on my show, Nina. 612 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 1: I found you. You were hiding in Charles and South Carolina. 613 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,240 Speaker 2: Come down and eat some good food. 614 00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:39,920 Speaker 3: Got great food around over by low Country. 615 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 2: Okay, I know what's going on down and good stuff. Well. 616 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 1: Thank you for coming on Money Making Conversations Massive Class, 617 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 1: uplifting me, providing information to my audience and having a 618 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,560 Speaker 1: great conversation about life that you can get through it. 619 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,400 Speaker 3: And this is not the end. If you find your. 620 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,640 Speaker 2: This for Shana, it has been my pleasure. Thank you 621 00:29:58,720 --> 00:29:59,560 Speaker 2: so very much. 622 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:00,640 Speaker 3: I appreciate you. 623 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 1: Hopefully talk soon, and thank you again for coming on 624 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:07,080 Speaker 1: Money Making Conversation Masterclass. This has been another edition of 625 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:11,360 Speaker 1: Money Making Conversation Masterclass hosted by me Rushaun McDonald. Thank 626 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: you to our guests on the show today and thank 627 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 1: you for listening to audience now. If you want to 628 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,120 Speaker 1: listen to any episode I want to be a guest 629 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 1: on the show, visit Moneymakingconversations dot com. Our social media 630 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 1: handle is money Making Conversation. Join us next week and 631 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:27,760 Speaker 1: remember to always leave with your gifts. 632 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:28,680 Speaker 3: Keep winning