Speaker 1: The Nicky Glaiser Podcast.
Speaker 2: Glaser, here's Nicky.
Speaker 3: Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's the
Speaker 3: Nicky Glazer Podcast. It's me Nicky Glazer.
Speaker 1: I'm alone in my.
Speaker 2: Studio in Saint Louis, Missouri. I have wet hair. I
Speaker 2: just got out of the shower, didn't have time to
Speaker 2: blow dry it.
Speaker 1: If you're watching on.
Speaker 3: YouTube, but that might be a topic of interest to you,
Speaker 3: of like why does she look like a slick fuck? Great,
Speaker 3: it's not grease, it's it's water. Brian's here, Noah's here.
Speaker 1: You get it.
Speaker 3: Why we don't talk about how like wet hair to
Speaker 3: dry hair is such as a woman, it's a burden
Speaker 3: to dry your hair, and it's like a whole part
Speaker 3: of a process that.
Speaker 1: Men don't have to do. Again, I am not coming
Speaker 1: at men.
Speaker 3: I'm not saying you guys need to start taking longer
Speaker 3: between when you go out and when you get out
Speaker 3: of the shower. You just it's an easier thing that
Speaker 3: you deal with it.
Speaker 1: You may not think about our experience.
Speaker 4: I feel personally attacked and I'm offended for all mankind.
Speaker 4: So we have talked about this before, and I did
Speaker 4: mention I don't know. I can't imagine being a woman.
Speaker 4: But also it does take me a long time to
Speaker 4: dry my hair too, And I've been trying different hair, hair, thick,
Speaker 4: lustrous hair.
Speaker 2: But you're always doing really thick Hair's true. And then
Speaker 2: he puts a hat on it and he doesn't even style.
Speaker 5: Well, that's the problem.
Speaker 4: I try to blow dry it with the hat on
Speaker 4: and it takes for answers.
Speaker 2: I almost believed it.
Speaker 1: You're you're an interesting man saying that you are.
Speaker 2: You're very interesting. You're you're smart and interesting.
Speaker 4: So werky, Uh, this is I don't want to start
Speaker 4: any podcast beef, but I so. Tim Dillon was on
Speaker 4: any Letterman's podcast and they they they.
Speaker 5: Friendly made fun of me, friendly made.
Speaker 2: Fun of shout out.
Speaker 4: I got a shout out, but him said that I
Speaker 4: have the personality of a shoe, and I confronted him already.
Speaker 2: Oh this is great. What did he give you?
Speaker 1: Did he give you fifty grand?
Speaker 3: Like usually when he like has come at someone. There's
Speaker 3: famously an episode where he went over he had like
Speaker 3: a class reunion at his house.
Speaker 1: You should listen to it.
Speaker 3: Annie and him talk about having this like I think
Speaker 3: it actually might be pulled down, but they had a reunion.
Speaker 3: He had a class reunion at his house in the
Speaker 3: Hampton's and he called some girl a fat, toothless bitch
Speaker 3: or something like. He called her a toothless bitch and
Speaker 3: she because she was like kind of drunk and acted
Speaker 3: like a fool at the thing. And then she it
Speaker 3: got back to him through his friends that she's really
Speaker 3: upset and.
Speaker 2: Like can't get her life together.
Speaker 3: So Tim paid for her tooth for for her thousands
Speaker 3: of dollars to like make it right.
Speaker 1: So my question, what did you get out of this?
Speaker 2: And are you sure he said a shoe and not jew.
Speaker 4: No, I'm pretty confident with the shoe because then he
Speaker 4: went on to describe the shoe and it didn't sound
Speaker 4: like a jude to me.
Speaker 2: It sounds okay.
Speaker 3: I was gonna make some jokes that are just are
Speaker 3: not in good taste right now.
Speaker 5: We can't pile of shoes outside of uh oh.
Speaker 1: God, Jesus fucking Christ.
Speaker 3: That would be the worst thing to be compared to
Speaker 3: ever you have the personality of the discarded shoes of
Speaker 3: millions of mercy children and women and some men and
Speaker 3: many men.
Speaker 4: So the question is, I did not take offense to
Speaker 4: this at all. I I do not think I have
Speaker 4: the personality of the shoe. I came at him in
Speaker 4: person and I said, you think I have the personality
Speaker 4: of a shoe, And so I wondered, should I be
Speaker 4: taking offence at what.
Speaker 3: Is the shoes personality? Though, yes, there's no question. We
Speaker 3: don't need to debate whether or not what kind of
Speaker 3: Well maybe it's a good thing because shoes are versatile
Speaker 3: and flexible and comfortable. Yeah, but if you ever talked
Speaker 3: to a shoe, it's not like I think, listen, but
Speaker 3: it's fun. It's he is exaggerating for the sake of comedy.
Speaker 3: You are just what he meant by that. I think
Speaker 3: is that you're a literal person. I mean, it's like
Speaker 3: talking to someone who is not gonna You're a nice guy.
Speaker 1: There's no question about it.
Speaker 3: Everyone who listens to the podcast knows that I wouldn't
Speaker 3: have you in my life. I don't think I could, Yeah, anyone,
Speaker 3: I just.
Speaker 2: Have I have to be around people who are nice.
Speaker 3: But you also don't really have a lot of room
Speaker 3: for like small like bullshit. You're just a literal guy
Speaker 3: and shoes are literal. But I think it's an insult,
Speaker 3: for sure.
Speaker 5: But it was an insult man with malice or is
Speaker 5: it insult.
Speaker 3: Your tongue is always hanging out maybe soulless or no,
Speaker 3: you have a soul.
Speaker 4: I have a soul, so practical. Well, then he went
Speaker 4: on to say that I know he's like, he's not
Speaker 4: like a shoe, He's like a an oatmeal cookie left
Speaker 4: in the car.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're getting better. That has more, there's more ingredients
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 3: It's not as just flat like comedically just saying shoe
Speaker 3: is very it just sounds it sounds. I mean, it
Speaker 3: sounds like a slur, like we said before. But oatmeal
Speaker 3: cookie left in the car.
Speaker 1: Let's examine this oatmeal cookie.
Speaker 3: He shows that as the most boring cookie. Unfortunately, like
Speaker 3: that's what he was going for there. We're not dummies.
Speaker 3: We know what this joke construction was. And then in
Speaker 3: the car there's some warmth.
Speaker 5: To you sure, sure, well you know and you're kind
Speaker 5: of like, oh I.
Speaker 2: Found this, Yes, something smells good.
Speaker 5: Okay, people, I'm sure there's people who again I.
Speaker 1: Was doing a more bullshit spin than I am, but
Speaker 1: a mind's bullshit too. Yeah, it's not good.
Speaker 4: Now it's important to know that it's important to know
Speaker 4: it's important to also know the context of where this
Speaker 4: was coming from. The context was I had to go
Speaker 4: into this meeting and sit with these people for like
Speaker 4: twenty minutes and and talk to them, and they thought
Speaker 4: it was funny that it was me that had to
Speaker 4: go stay with them because these people wouldn't want to
Speaker 4: talk to me anyway, because I'm not a real person industry.
Speaker 5: And then some.
Speaker 3: Powerful people within the industry, some people that are like
Speaker 3: making the decisions that probably aren't the creative types, have
Speaker 3: to talk not have to.
Speaker 1: Are talking to you? Why are they talking to you?
Speaker 4: I had to come in and not So me and
Speaker 4: Tim were supposed to go to this meeting together and
Speaker 4: Tim was late for twenty minutes, Oh dear, and so
Speaker 4: I had to sit there fam for twenty minutes.
Speaker 2: Woh what did you do?
Speaker 5: Tim?
Speaker 4: He thought it was funny that they had to talk
Speaker 4: to me. And first of all, it was probably because
Speaker 4: it's funny. I'm not, like, why would anybody want to
Speaker 4: talk to me in this situation. That's not true when
Speaker 4: they're expecting Tim.
Speaker 3: When they're expecting Tim and they're Tim fans. Also, you're
Speaker 3: not going to be disappointed in Brian Fandy. You're just
Speaker 3: you're so interesting and funny and but but if they
Speaker 3: were just interested in like fame and like someone, it's
Speaker 3: going to be very exporting to meet the Apple guy.
Speaker 5: They're expecting.
Speaker 2: They don't even know you're that.
Speaker 4: But here's the other thing is they didn't even know
Speaker 4: I was going to be at the meeting, so I
Speaker 4: was sitting for twenty minutes talking to Again, Kim.
Speaker 1: Is really setting you up for success in this?
Speaker 2: What could he give them a heads up?
Speaker 5: No, it's fine.
Speaker 4: I'm guess it all worked out absolutely fine. And these
Speaker 4: guys we uh, we didn't have a good time with anyway.
Speaker 4: But I think that's also why that he said to Kim, like.
Speaker 3: In a meeting, I'm just the biggest Tim Dylan fan,
Speaker 3: and I'm so excited that you're He's the same whenever
Speaker 3: you're doing with him.
Speaker 1: I'm excited about it.
Speaker 4: I don't know, he was the same person in every
Speaker 4: single situation. He's just a brutally honest I mean.
Speaker 3: But he's also again extremely kind. Oh yeah, yes, he'll
Speaker 3: just a there's a there's a loving part of him
Speaker 3: that just radiates and by the way people told me
Speaker 3: that you said that Kylie Jenner might have been at
Speaker 3: his party, but it was Caitlyn Jenner, the wildest Jenner
Speaker 3: to be like like.
Speaker 2: I understand boys ding, like I don't know if it
Speaker 2: was Kendall or Kylie or Courtney or Chloe Lee.
Speaker 3: I get that, but not knowing And you even were
Speaker 3: like it might have been the mom, which is even
Speaker 3: like okay, whoever Taylor was, Like was it a seventy
Speaker 3: year age difference or like you know, we made a
Speaker 3: joke about it at the time.
Speaker 2: Caitlyn Jenner is so not Kylie in many.
Speaker 5: Ways, I didn't see this person side.
Speaker 3: How did but how did the word Caitlyn Jenner not
Speaker 3: register to you as the former Bruce j like like
Speaker 3: a pivotal name in our general like people who don't
Speaker 3: know the Kardashians, no Kitlyn Jenner because she's the face
Speaker 3: of the trans movement that you.
Speaker 5: Know right right?
Speaker 1: You know, Like, how did that not stick for you?
Speaker 5: Face and body? Well?
Speaker 3: What about like even when you found out Kaitlyn Jenner
Speaker 3: was there, why weren't you like whoa Kitlyn jen Like
Speaker 3: was there no discussion of what that was? Like?
Speaker 2: Was she like oh tamn, I love your spread? Like,
Speaker 2: did she's I love a spreading? Got here? Time?
Speaker 1: Did she say? Five minutes?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: Why was there no discussion about what happened around?
Speaker 4: I did ask a little bit after the fact about this,
Speaker 4: and I was like, yeah, okay, did they hold court?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 5: Was everyone around them? And and uh is it he
Speaker 5: or she? She?
Speaker 4: She came and there wasn't a lot of people there,
Speaker 4: so it's kind of just like a little small hang
Speaker 4: and then she left before most of the people came.
Speaker 2: Damn it.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, And I was one of those people that
Speaker 4: wasn't there yet, so I didn't see you're talking to
Speaker 4: be cool man?
Speaker 3: I know, well, I who knew that getting parties right
Speaker 3: on time you might see some of the biggest life
Speaker 3: Maybe they know that they're gonna miss most people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's cool to be on time because in La
Speaker 4: people never show up. People never show up on time
Speaker 4: to anything in La. Oh, so if you're super cool
Speaker 4: and you just want to see the people you want
Speaker 4: to see, you say, show up on time and we'll
Speaker 4: leave in forty minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's Uh.
Speaker 3: Have you ever had someone you Getting there early to
Speaker 3: a party is such a hilarious thing that I sure
Speaker 3: some people have done be like I don't want to
Speaker 3: help out, Like my mom every time it's time for
Speaker 3: a party and my growing up, like it would be
Speaker 3: the guests would arrive in my mom with still wet hair.
Speaker 2: Yeah it was a wet hair podcast.
Speaker 5: Yes, yeah it was.
Speaker 1: She was a slick fuck.
Speaker 4: When I used to host like game nights or whatever
Speaker 4: my house and have like some people come that I
Speaker 4: was like not really friends with, I would always keep
Speaker 4: a couple of bags of chips and food things unopened
Speaker 4: so that when they came and I didn't want to
Speaker 4: talk to them, I would say, oh, could you set
Speaker 4: up those chips?
Speaker 5: And then they have a task to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is See, that's why you have the personality
Speaker 3: of an oatmeal cook and a car that kind of
Speaker 3: thing like that's that's in the car part.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Is that interesting thing about you that you have planned
Speaker 3: for something in case people get there early and you're
Speaker 3: not ready. Instead of doing the thing that you could
Speaker 3: be doing to get ready and they just sit around,
Speaker 3: you give them a task.
Speaker 5: Yes, I give them a task.
Speaker 3: That's but that's even more work for you because you're like,
Speaker 3: I got I want to put out those tips and salsa.
Speaker 3: But I gotta wait until people could get your early perchance.
Speaker 1: And then someone has to do it eventually.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, well that's an interesting thing in context.
Speaker 4: In context, it's funny for me to be extra boring
Speaker 4: in that context of that meeting. That which is why,
Speaker 4: of course the shop for being so boring makes is there.
Speaker 4: You have to go to that extreme or else it's
Speaker 4: not fun.
Speaker 2: No, they're comedians, they did this.
Speaker 3: Why no, they have to set up that this the
Speaker 3: story of you being stuck there because tim is twenty
Speaker 3: minutes late and they don't even expect you, and you
Speaker 3: also happen to have the personality of a shoe adds
Speaker 3: so much color to the story. This is. Have you
Speaker 3: evergot I'm trying to think of times where maybe this
Speaker 3: has happened to me where I've heard something about myself
Speaker 3: that I didn't let like that.
Speaker 1: If someone said that about me, I'd be I'd.
Speaker 2: Be very hurt.
Speaker 5: I mean that wasn't heard at all.
Speaker 1: No, but you shouldn't be, because I know what he meant,
Speaker 1: Like clearly you don't.
Speaker 4: They said nice things too, They said like he's a
Speaker 4: wonderful comedy writer. He's an amazing comedy writer, but he
Speaker 4: has the personality of the shoe.
Speaker 5: And then Ann, he said, of this shoe, and he
Speaker 5: held up a shoe.
Speaker 4: And it was like a brown and then uh and
Speaker 4: then and then Annie said he yeah, he won't start
Speaker 4: the conversation, but he'll punch it up.
Speaker 5: So like these are like nice things to say.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's actually that's an interesting that's an interesting thing
Speaker 3: to say. And I wonder if I agree with that
Speaker 3: of you being someone who won't no, because you'll I
Speaker 3: mean I worked with you all summer on a faboy
Speaker 3: island and you would come in with like you would
Speaker 3: be kind of quiet, and then you would just kind
Speaker 3: of like stare.
Speaker 1: You'd be thinking about something.
Speaker 3: You go, I have a question, and it would just
Speaker 3: be like everyone would kind of jump, and then we
Speaker 3: would get You would come up with some very random
Speaker 3: thing that you have been thinking about on your drive
Speaker 3: into Malibu an hour and a half. That is very specific.
Speaker 3: But you know you're always going through some or I
Speaker 3: guess lately you have been going through some like shit's
Speaker 3: been piling up for Brian Franti. And I don't think
Speaker 3: you're a person that just has shit pile up. I've
Speaker 3: known you for years, but like right now, it's like
Speaker 3: a thing after thing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's And that's what.
Speaker 4: I try to explain to Tim is that I feel
Speaker 4: like my personality is like twenty five percent diminished because
Speaker 4: of all all my problems.
Speaker 2: And yeah, dude, it totally is.
Speaker 3: You're in pain. I asked Brian about his paint toothpain
Speaker 3: that he's been having. We've covered it on other episodes,
Speaker 3: but he's been having.
Speaker 2: For how many months now?
Speaker 5: Since two and a half years.
Speaker 2: Okay, so that's twelve.
Speaker 4: So I have a question for the besties because I
Speaker 4: got my second crown in yesterday. I got my second
Speaker 4: crown in yesterday. It's on my top and I feel
Speaker 4: like I feel like it's a little bulky, And I
Speaker 4: want to ask any besties if you've gotten an implant
Speaker 4: crown so it's like the full crown tooth. Did it
Speaker 4: feel weird at first, which I'm sure it did, And then,
Speaker 4: if so, how long did it take you to get
Speaker 4: just get used to it and then it start to
Speaker 4: feel normal for you.
Speaker 5: I'm sure that there's lots of besties to have plants.
Speaker 5: You've had a crown.
Speaker 1: I don't think i've had an implant though, I've had
Speaker 1: a root canal and.
Speaker 5: Then a crown put on top, and then did it
Speaker 5: feel I.
Speaker 1: Assume that's what they do.
Speaker 2: I cannot remember, which leads me to believe no.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so mine feels weird.
Speaker 2: I'm also not a sensitive person.
Speaker 4: I'm so sensitive. Yeah, So it feels like it's like
Speaker 4: pushing in on my tongue. So it's like my tongue's
Speaker 4: getting in the way. So I want to know if
Speaker 4: that's a if that's an issue that other people.
Speaker 1: Normal thing that'll go away.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And how long did it take? And so how
Speaker 4: how long should I wait before getting a change?
Speaker 2: Is it hurt though?
Speaker 3: I mean, is your your pain is all still there?
Speaker 3: Because the pain is your pain is from your jaw,
Speaker 3: because the grinding of the teeth because the teeth being uneven,
Speaker 3: So the pain isn't in the tooth, it's in the jaw.
Speaker 3: The pain, it just it means nothing. My point initially
Speaker 3: it was you were operating one day, you told me.
Speaker 3: And you're not a person who exaggerates when some you know,
Speaker 3: you do for comedy sometimes, but I feel like you
Speaker 3: said your pain was an eight out of ten.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of days, and so I know for me.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't.
Speaker 3: I mean, there's no way I would be able to
Speaker 3: function like that, like you're dealing with something that is
Speaker 3: I've talked about this before in the podcast. Whenever I
Speaker 3: go through pain, you just you can't help but feel
Speaker 3: so sorry for people in chronic pain and how they
Speaker 3: do learn to cope with it, because what the fuck
Speaker 3: else are.
Speaker 1: They gonna do? Right, Like, what else? What are you
Speaker 1: gonna do?
Speaker 2: You have to keep it.
Speaker 1: And writh h and you just have to, like or
Speaker 1: tonight is that's like I need.
Speaker 5: To writhe all day I was writhing.
Speaker 3: Writhing sucks so much because it's the only thing you
Speaker 3: do when there's there's no comfort, there's nothing else.
Speaker 5: When you had your migraines, you must have writhed.
Speaker 1: I would writhe so much.
Speaker 3: You know, it's just like an animal that's like flipping
Speaker 3: back and forth because it's like on the way out,
Speaker 3: like there's it's just searching for like mom, like like
Speaker 3: any kind of any kind of like comfort, yes, yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: like a starving possum in a cage. Now that would
Speaker 3: be a more. It was probably not writhing as much
Speaker 3: because it was just like so tired, it was dying
Speaker 3: from hunger like kind of in a ball.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, just because I've felt like a
Speaker 1: dying possum before I.
Speaker 4: Forgot, I mentioned this update that the I got a
Speaker 4: letter in the mail from the possum uh recently saying
Speaker 4: how how it's flourishing in the woods.
Speaker 5: It wrote me a letter, I don't like.
Speaker 1: This is shoe.
Speaker 5: This is shoe.
Speaker 2: No, that isn't shoe. But you're like trying to get
Speaker 2: out of shoe.
Speaker 5: And I don't like it. Whatever that was, so that
Speaker 5: was me trying. Well, that was no. I lie all
Speaker 5: the time. I do. I do comedy lies.
Speaker 3: It's a cute That was a cute lie. But that
Speaker 3: was I mean, we knew it was a lie from
Speaker 3: the get go. You got a letter from the possible Like,
Speaker 3: I just didn't get a set up. I wasn't invested,
Speaker 3: so that was on me.
Speaker 5: But what did I need to do in O?
Speaker 1: How did you you receive that?
Speaker 2: Noah, that maybe it was like something that Ali did
Speaker 2: to make you feel better.
Speaker 4: She was taking literally Yeah that would have though, Yeah,
Speaker 4: so then what should I Well, sometimes that works out
Speaker 4: and I say something that's you know.
Speaker 2: No, you're no.
Speaker 3: You gotta take chances I'm just gonna got to take
Speaker 3: shot now we have the shoe thing.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I need to add to my personality.
Speaker 3: It's not fair though, because I don't think you feel
Speaker 3: like you can take shots at me because you like
Speaker 3: I'm but I want you to be able to take
Speaker 3: shots at me. But like, also, I do think that
Speaker 3: I'm a little sensitive bitch and that I, like I said,
Speaker 3: I don't think I would have been able to take shoes.
Speaker 3: So it's not fair that I take shots at you
Speaker 3: if you can't give them to me. So I say
Speaker 3: that you you should be able to but I take
Speaker 3: shots at you. Yeah, okay, I'm glad that you don't.
Speaker 5: I don't take shots at that people.
Speaker 4: I don't take shots at people, including you, that have
Speaker 4: to do with like your personality or but I'll take
Speaker 4: shots at you for something you just said.
Speaker 5: I if I think what you.
Speaker 3: Said, yeah, I like that about you. I don't feel
Speaker 3: like you just like let me get away with stuff.
Speaker 3: And then sometimes if I'm like, like we mainly are
Speaker 3: recently been talking about jokes, and if it's something where
Speaker 3: you just go okay, and sometimes I'll read that as
Speaker 3: like he's mad at me because I'm used to living
Speaker 3: around people who are like when they're mad at you,
Speaker 3: they just go okay, yeah, and then it's like quiet,
Speaker 3: and I go with Brian, I've everyone knows what I'm
Speaker 3: talking about, this kind of person that just goes.
Speaker 5: On fine, yeah, go ahead, if you want to take
Speaker 5: the car to yes, I'll.
Speaker 1: Go, Yes, I'll go.
Speaker 2: Brian, I don't know that joke.
Speaker 1: I know you don't.
Speaker 3: You maybe think I should lose it. I just like
Speaker 3: it because I like the It's like a change in
Speaker 3: character for me. But I'll give my reason things and
Speaker 3: he goes all right, fine, and it's just like I go, oh, no,
Speaker 3: he's mad, but he's just saying fine.
Speaker 5: Yeah, no genuinely. Well obviously I don't read it.
Speaker 1: Is that at all anymore?
Speaker 5: Oh good, because that is not no, that's the show.
Speaker 3: First, the instinct in my little brain is at first like, O, no,
Speaker 3: he's mad. But now that is like a millisecond a
Speaker 3: million in the midim of the second.
Speaker 1: We got to go to break.
Speaker 3: Before we go to break, I just want to tell
Speaker 3: everyone we are not going to be doing shows next
Speaker 3: week because I'm taping my special in Seattle, which their
Speaker 3: tickets still available the sixteenth in Seattle. Brian will be
Speaker 3: there either, and no one will be too. I forgot,
Speaker 3: Oh my god, yeah, most of the girls from every Seattle.
Speaker 5: So this isn't going to be an eating What the
Speaker 5: fuck is that real?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so exciting.
Speaker 3: Okay, So we're doing that next week, and so all
Speaker 3: my energy needs to be focused on that. So there
Speaker 3: will be no podcast next week, but we will be
Speaker 3: back on the I Guess twentieth Wednesday the twentieth to
Speaker 3: talk about all things my specials. To send me good
Speaker 3: vibes on December sixteenth, Saturday. I would really appreciate that
Speaker 3: because I do believe that kind of energy. So think
Speaker 3: of me that night and think positive things, not nervous
Speaker 3: or negative things, and I love you so much.
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll be back with more show up for guests.
Speaker 3: Hey, guys, you've heard me talk about my Seattle upcoming
Speaker 3: special taping, and some tickets just opened up and I
Speaker 3: want to give them away for free to besties. So
Speaker 3: if you are a bestie listening to the podcast right now,
Speaker 3: and you are a single person that is just one
Speaker 3: person that wants to go to the show, I'm sorry
Speaker 3: that they're they're only single seats because we need seat fillers,
Speaker 3: and that's.
Speaker 1: What you're gonna be if you want to go for
Speaker 1: free to my show.
Speaker 3: Really good seats all over just opened up for both
Speaker 3: shows seven o'clock and nine thirty. For my December sixteenth
Speaker 3: Seattle taping. All you have to do is write into
Speaker 3: Nicki Glazer Besties, don't forget the s on the Besties
Speaker 3: Nicki Glazerbesties at gmail dot com. Tell us your info
Speaker 3: and we'll get you that ticket. I hope to see
Speaker 3: you there. And yeah, so this is the ultimate opportunity
Speaker 3: to go alone because you can't go with someone else.
Speaker 3: So this is perfect for people without friends, because it
Speaker 3: looks like that you ca have friends, but you could
Speaker 3: just say, well I couldn't bring a friend and and
Speaker 3: I won't assume you don't have friends if you go
Speaker 3: with this one ticket.
Speaker 1: I'll see you there.
Speaker 3: I love you by all right, we're back, okay, speaking
Speaker 3: of what we were just saying, we're for a millisecond.
Speaker 3: I think Brian might be mad at me. A millisecond yesterday,
Speaker 3: I thought my life was over. I'm about to be raped, mugged,
Speaker 3: I'm definitely about to be violently attacked. God for like
Speaker 3: it was probably two milliseconds or three. Wow, it was
Speaker 3: it was it was a point I would say, I'm
Speaker 3: just being honest.
Speaker 1: It was point one seconds.
Speaker 3: Okay, but that is enough. You know how people go like, oh,
Speaker 3: I my life flashed before my eyes. Yeah, you know
Speaker 3: all these things like think bit major things can happen
Speaker 3: in that split second, like I'm moves where everything slows
Speaker 3: down when you're feeling Fuck. I had so many thoughts
Speaker 3: in that point one second, and I'm I think yesterday
Speaker 3: I might have said it was point eight seconds, but
Speaker 3: like it literally was a microsecond. I was walking home
Speaker 3: from pilates and I'm with my headphones on much like
Speaker 3: these like covering my ears, which I love in the
Speaker 3: winter when you're you have headphones like this and it's
Speaker 3: cold outside and they're also ear muffs. That is that
Speaker 3: you get two for one. That is a great thing
Speaker 3: about earphones. Little sidetrack also the same as picking up
Speaker 3: dog poop in the winter warms your hands and you
Speaker 3: get to pick up poop two things in once you
Speaker 3: kill two birds and then you throw that pack.
Speaker 1: Of poop at a bird and you actually kill bird.
Speaker 3: Okay, But so I was walking home with the cans
Speaker 3: on I'm on my phone kind of like in the world.
Speaker 3: I my plotus place is pretty close to my apartment,
Speaker 3: so I'm turning into the garage and I'm walking into
Speaker 3: the now the garage area, it's like it's there's it's
Speaker 3: well lit. It's like it's you drive through this garage.
Speaker 3: So it's like it's one end is open and the
Speaker 3: other end is open, so it's like it's an open
Speaker 3: it's not like a close scary garage. It's like almost
Speaker 3: open air but kind of not. And I'm getting to
Speaker 3: the place where my door is where it's the package room,
Speaker 3: and then right there is the elevators. Like it's like
Speaker 3: it's very populated. So being attack here, my first instinct
Speaker 3: when I thought I was being attacked was this is
Speaker 3: a great this is gonna hurt whatever's about to happen,
Speaker 3: but at least people will hear me scream. It's still
Speaker 3: it was I think four or five o'clock, so it
Speaker 3: was still kind of light outside, se heavy foot traffic
Speaker 3: around Like that was yeah, that's that was what I
Speaker 3: was impressed by, was like the security camera is just
Speaker 3: gonna like that doesn't matter to me because I'm like,
Speaker 3: it'll just capture my death, like I need help now,
Speaker 3: a security camera someone in a room somewhere isn't gonna
Speaker 3: see that and then run down and with enough time
Speaker 3: to help me, whatever's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: So it was like, I need immediate help.
Speaker 3: There's someone near, but like there's a sidewalk here and
Speaker 3: it's well lit, someone wouldn't attempt to murder me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe that was it.
Speaker 3: Noah, if they know that they're gonna be seen, they
Speaker 3: wouldn't murder me or something.
Speaker 2: But so I'd all those No, I just kind of
Speaker 2: last footage of Nikki Glazer. Oh yeah, ground man. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it'll be on Reddit.
Speaker 3: I will have like, yeah, I hope my murder isn't
Speaker 3: one that i'd want to watch or hear about, Like
Speaker 3: I don't watch these things. Actually, some a bestie just
Speaker 3: wrote to me after having did you hear about the
Speaker 3: guy who got his next sliced open and bled out
Speaker 3: on like hockey?
Speaker 5: Right? Yeah? But I thought that was like an accident.
Speaker 3: It was okay, yes, but I described it as just
Speaker 3: it wasn't like I was like, did he had it intentionally?
Speaker 3: I said it in a way that sounded that, but
Speaker 3: I did not imply that it was an accident, but
Speaker 3: the guy was charged for manslaughter because even if it's
Speaker 3: an accident, it's still manslaughter, which I forgot about because
Speaker 3: everyone's like, why was he charged? Which I it was
Speaker 3: a total accident, but he did die and he's responsible
Speaker 3: for someone's death.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 4: I don't know what there was during a hockey game
Speaker 4: where you're you take certain risks by playing hockey, and
Speaker 4: one of those risks, unfortunately, is getting your next sliced
Speaker 4: open by a hockey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you drive, don't you say certain drifts
Speaker 2: by driving?
Speaker 3: But if I drive and do something that isn't if
Speaker 3: you are doing if you're reckless.
Speaker 5: So was this guy who sliced his neck like doing
Speaker 5: something right?
Speaker 2: Possibly?
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess that's the I guess that's the rough.
Speaker 5: You must have fallen and then flailed his legs.
Speaker 3: Well, someone watched it for me. A girl wrote me
Speaker 3: and was like, oh my god, did you hear about this?
Speaker 3: And I go, yes, Oh my god, I'm obsessed. I
Speaker 3: read everything. I read every account, but I couldn't find
Speaker 3: like I wanted to hear a description of it without
Speaker 3: seeing the video because I don't want to see it,
Speaker 3: and she watched it and described it to me. So anyway,
Speaker 3: it was the guy, like the guys who skate. From
Speaker 3: what I understand, I could be remembering this wrong. The
Speaker 3: guy jumped up and slice the guy's neck and then
Speaker 3: you just see him grab his neck and just blood
Speaker 3: fucking spurt spurting everywhere, and he keeps he's keeps skating
Speaker 3: for a second, he's like standing, So it's.
Speaker 2: Almost like mortal combat where they and they keep me
Speaker 2: standing and then.
Speaker 5: They just get to the next who's standing.
Speaker 1: He was doing an a triple axle. I literally don't.
Speaker 2: So sad.
Speaker 3: It's so sad and like such a freak acts. I mean,
Speaker 3: there's nothing worse than being involved in a freak action.
Speaker 3: That's a horrible word to have associated with your death.
Speaker 3: And this would have not been a freak I was
Speaker 3: walking and then all of a sudden, I see in
Speaker 3: my periphery and I am deeply in my phone, which
Speaker 3: is not a mistake in this air that I'm talking about,
Speaker 3: Like you would just never be attacked here, all right,
Speaker 3: That's that was my first instinct of like, no one's
Speaker 3: gonna attack me here. Then all of a sudden from
Speaker 3: the door that I would be walking into I see
Speaker 3: a man running towards me. All I can sense is
Speaker 3: a man is running towards me. And I have my
Speaker 3: headphones playing music pretty loud, so I can't.
Speaker 5: I can't.
Speaker 3: I don't know if they're saying something or what. I
Speaker 3: can't hear anything. Yeah, the sound touch of my death
Speaker 3: would have.
Speaker 2: Been You're losing me, Stop, You're losing.
Speaker 3: Me you Taylor Swift, which is actually approved by the
Speaker 3: American Heart Association or something for doing the compressions like
Speaker 3: loosing me, stop, You're losing me, And that song is
Speaker 3: like my heart won't beat anymore. That's song you're supposed
Speaker 3: to be pushing the chest with. So anyway, I go,
Speaker 3: just go cause I'm just like it's a man.
Speaker 1: I know it's a man.
Speaker 3: He is hurling towards me at a crazy speed. And
Speaker 3: it was Chris running at me full sprint, just to
Speaker 3: go like oo, like to scare me.
Speaker 1: And he saw the.
Speaker 3: Expression on my face and he was He immediately was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm so sorry. And I was like,
Speaker 3: I just got my life back, like I was like recovering,
Speaker 3: like I just I just got my life back, like
Speaker 3: I'm just.
Speaker 2: Not going to be violently attacked.
Speaker 3: I was so happy that I wasn't going to be
Speaker 3: violently attacked because I was really like, this is gonna
Speaker 3: hurt so bad. I don't I should have probably gone
Speaker 3: to jiu jitsu. I should have told done what Noah
Speaker 3: said to do. Why have I been doing pilates instead
Speaker 3: of self defense? Like all of these regrets flooded through
Speaker 3: my nervous system. And he was He was like, I
Speaker 3: thought you would see me so much sooner, you know,
Speaker 3: like I saw him when he was right here. So
Speaker 3: it was just like, yeah, I it was one hundred
Speaker 3: percent happening, And I don't know. That must be the
Speaker 3: I know that's the feeling you feel before you're violently attacked.
Speaker 1: I felt it was.
Speaker 4: Doctor Strange and he knocks your soul out of you,
Speaker 4: and then you're like, and then he pulls it back
Speaker 4: in or he gets pulled back.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna start doing well so shitty, I don't, but
Speaker 3: everyone loves.
Speaker 5: Doctor Yes on a meeting that with us, Uh yeah,
Speaker 5: but you were in a car.
Speaker 2: I could barely hear you.
Speaker 1: This is my defense on this one.
Speaker 4: Okay, go on ari Ari said that I'm a I'm
Speaker 4: a nerd, yeah, making doctor strange references or am I
Speaker 4: a shoe? Like, get it straight.
Speaker 3: This is Ari Ari Findling, who I love so much,
Speaker 3: who has a great podcast called Never Not Tired that's
Speaker 3: about parenthood.
Speaker 1: It's hilarious. He's so funny.
Speaker 3: But he was on this writer's meeting with us yesterday
Speaker 3: and he Ari has this like harshness about him sometimes
Speaker 3: where he's like, you fucking idiot, Like he'll just like
Speaker 3: call you a fucking idiot about Like he'll be like,
Speaker 3: do you want a tissue? Like he'll be like sniffling
Speaker 3: and he's like, yeah, I doe, you fucking idiot, Like
Speaker 3: he's a little embarrassed that he got caught sniffling or something.
Speaker 1: So he comes at you with this.
Speaker 3: Like really harsh thing, but it's all love. But then
Speaker 3: I catch him a lot of times getting called out
Speaker 3: on it, and then he pulls about.
Speaker 1: Like, oh yeah, you fucking dumb, fucking.
Speaker 3: Nerd, like he digs in or he'll like but it's
Speaker 3: it's a cute attempt at him being close to you.
Speaker 5: Oh I see, I see.
Speaker 1: Well yeah it's a failed attempt, but you are close.
Speaker 5: I wouldn't say we're close, but we were buds back
Speaker 5: in the day when we were in York.
Speaker 2: Ari.
Speaker 3: I told him this the other night, I go, I,
Speaker 3: I didn't realize that you were the guy that when
Speaker 3: Brian Franjie got his windows knocked in and stuff stolen
Speaker 3: from him. It was another one of those weeks that
Speaker 3: you've been having recently of just a pylon on you
Speaker 3: and your stuff. Yeah, you had a bunch of stuff
Speaker 3: taking out of your car.
Speaker 2: What else was going on for you? Your arm was
Speaker 2: broken or something.
Speaker 5: I broke my wrist. I didn't even know it was broken,
Speaker 5: I remember.
Speaker 4: And then and then when I was driving for the
Speaker 4: doctor to get X rays on my wrist, someone rear
Speaker 4: ended me. Yes, and but then but then you messaged me,
Speaker 4: And that's what that was. The week before I went
Speaker 4: to California.
Speaker 2: I'm the hero of the hero I never Ari did
Speaker 2: though he worked at Models at.
Speaker 5: The time, sporting good store work.
Speaker 1: Yes, and he got you a bunch of replaced.
Speaker 5: He's just I didn't ask for this.
Speaker 4: He just, out of the kindness of his heart, heard
Speaker 4: about my story and gave me all this stuff, like
Speaker 4: a new gym bags. George so great, So I don't
Speaker 4: care if Ari could call me a nerd all he wants.
Speaker 4: I know that he's a great guy.
Speaker 1: He's a love like this is already.
Speaker 3: It's like people that might be like say horrible things
Speaker 3: are like these sweet softies like Tim, Annie, Me, you,
Speaker 3: Ari and Ari. Also like my dad, my dad, me, Ari,
Speaker 3: and Andrew went on a road trip to do outdoor
Speaker 3: shows during COVID together. My dad and I would sing
Speaker 3: like a song and then Andrew and Ari would open
Speaker 3: and we were all in a car for like, you know,
Speaker 3: a total of doing I think we did three or
Speaker 3: four cities together. It was like thirty hours in a car,
Speaker 3: like really long time in the car. And my dad
Speaker 3: would laugh so hard because Ari, whenever he would get
Speaker 3: Andrew and would get mad each other and they're old friends.
Speaker 3: He would just be like, I swear to god Andrew
Speaker 3: would have sucked your dicks hard.
Speaker 5: And my dad would be like, why is that?
Speaker 2: Why are why is that the threat?
Speaker 5: Why you're mad at him?
Speaker 3: He'd be like, I swear to God, I'm just suck
Speaker 3: your fucking dick off, Andrew.
Speaker 2: It's just such a funny. It's such a funny thing
Speaker 2: to get mad at someone.
Speaker 1: And threatened to suck their dick instead.
Speaker 3: Of being like I'm gonna beat the shit out of
Speaker 3: you with that same fervor, say the gayest thing is
Speaker 3: my but my dad couldn't believe it, and really like
Speaker 3: my dad, my dad like, uh, kind of, I don't
Speaker 3: know if this is the same kind of thing, but
Speaker 3: he is always surprised at guys doing like kind of
Speaker 3: gay things in jest or like bros like kind of.
Speaker 3: But the thing is, my dad has done gay things
Speaker 3: in jest.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Is it homophobia, because that's why it's funny, because it's
Speaker 4: so bad.
Speaker 3: But well and in the way of like my dad
Speaker 3: grew up in a time where that wasn't people couldn't
Speaker 3: be open about that, so obviously, yeah, it's taboo. And
Speaker 3: he's just like I can't and he thinks, by the way,
Speaker 3: he's crying laughing because it's such it's such a fun
Speaker 3: it's funny. It is funny, yes, and it and it
Speaker 3: but it is a way for men to be closer
Speaker 3: to their and actually touch each other. I think it's
Speaker 3: a little bit of an excuse. And I bet most
Speaker 3: of them would say I would say ninety nine percent
Speaker 3: is a joke, but it's one percent, Like I just
Speaker 3: want to put my you know, I always want to
Speaker 3: my blowing.
Speaker 1: I just want to feel close. I just want to
Speaker 1: grab someone's hips right now.
Speaker 4: Do you watch them Welcome to Wrexham on FX with
Speaker 4: Ryan Reynolds and mcallaney. Well, there's so Ryan Reynolds and
Speaker 4: mcallaney have a bromance and that they even do an
Speaker 4: episode where they go see a couple's therapists or something
Speaker 4: or an expert on like male friendships. And I do
Speaker 4: see that sometimes between them where they'll do something like, uh,
Speaker 4: sexually uncomfortable to each other because they're so close.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you should watch.
Speaker 3: That's a great two are pretty hot. I wouldn't mind
Speaker 3: seeing those two, I mean get sexually close.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I don't know what that's never really turned me
Speaker 3: on when like two guys have attracted to I'm like,
Speaker 3: but picturing those two, I'm just like, oh, there's something.
Speaker 5: Like their friendship, so the doctum they must look alike.
Speaker 2: Oh that's sweet. Yeah, Well my dad, this is this
Speaker 2: is crazy.
Speaker 3: My dad one time was on the he goes on
Speaker 3: these like camping trips and river excursions with his guy friends.
Speaker 3: I think around October they go out for like four
Speaker 3: days and they you know, camp out and stuff and
Speaker 3: canoe all day. And one night, his buddy Dave Miller
Speaker 3: was like just sitting, you know, meditating or something, and
Speaker 3: my dad came up to like join him. And there's
Speaker 3: just sitting in these chairs on the bank of this riverbed.
Speaker 3: And my dad realizes that He's like, hey, we should
Speaker 3: let's just be gay for a second. See what everyone
Speaker 3: else says back at the campfire, like if we just
Speaker 3: get a little gay, like because we're kind of off
Speaker 3: by ourselves, it looks like they might think that we
Speaker 3: like are alone, and like they might think that we're
Speaker 3: like you know. So my dad like put his arm
Speaker 3: around the chair and to start like rubbing his shoulders
Speaker 3: a little bit. And then or maybe my dad saw
Speaker 3: someone making a picture or something. It was like I'm
Speaker 3: just gonna do this and they're gonna feel like they
Speaker 3: caught a moment between us.
Speaker 1: So someone took a picture.
Speaker 3: I think it was my uncle TV took a picture
Speaker 3: of my dad and Dave Miller in this like they're
Speaker 3: backlit by like the sunset, you know, and they're these
Speaker 3: two guys in a share and it was picked this
Speaker 3: picture somehow got picked up by like my because my
Speaker 3: brother is in river culture stuff. It now is like
Speaker 3: a gay picture that like people use, like sincerely to
Speaker 3: be like gay men.
Speaker 5: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: So it's been on like Instagram posts and kind of
Speaker 3: been like spread around as like hey, these like rugged
Speaker 3: rivermen are gay. Like it was a little bit of
Speaker 3: a broke back picture that people have taken seriously because
Speaker 3: it was a joke. But it made me laugh so hard.
Speaker 3: And my dad's like, I'm gonna get canceled for that.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you're not going to like what it was was.
Speaker 3: It was a moment of friendship and love between two
Speaker 3: men in a different way, and now it's being used
Speaker 3: and for whatever however people want to interpreted.
Speaker 5: It's fine.
Speaker 1: You weren't like being overtly.
Speaker 3: Homophobic when you made the joke, so I don't think
Speaker 3: it's I don't think it's a bad thing. But uh,
Speaker 3: he's probably gonna be like, do tell that story. I
Speaker 3: think it was so funny too late, it's told.
Speaker 4: It's also a thing in the East Coast, just going
Speaker 4: back to like people saying things like mean things to you, but.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna suck your deck.
Speaker 4: It's just like an growing up I mean. That was
Speaker 4: the love language of the East Coast, was just to
Speaker 4: say something mean, Like here's a common thing that would
Speaker 4: happen in New York. You'd go he goes to someone
Speaker 4: at a party and they mentioned a mutual person that
Speaker 4: you know. So someone would come up to me at
Speaker 4: a noa would come up to a party and goes, oh,
Speaker 4: do you know Nikki in New York? My response would be, oh,
Speaker 4: that asshole. Yeah, she's a real piece of work. And
Speaker 4: that's meant that's like the highest form of praise.
Speaker 1: Oh you mean that shoe?
Speaker 5: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, I get what you're saying. Yeah, like be
Speaker 3: saying a piece of work.
Speaker 2: It's almost like that Tim Robbinson sketch.
Speaker 3: I start laughing about it already, the one, do you
Speaker 3: know the one where he's like, uh, the skateboard rep
Speaker 3: Like he's introducing a new skateboard.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, you've you've been sharing that. I've been watching
Speaker 4: it every time you share it, obsessed with it.
Speaker 3: Okay, So he introduces Concrete Halloween and it's a new skateboarder,
Speaker 3: and then he just talks about assembling this crew and
Speaker 3: he just I just always wanted to assemble a crew
Speaker 3: of like really bad people, like these people are really bad,
Speaker 3: and then he goes, I just want to be cool.
Speaker 3: I guess I've always just wanted to be kind of
Speaker 3: cool and wanted people to think I'm really a cool,
Speaker 3: like tough guy, and then he goes, I just always
Speaker 3: wanted I always wanted people to think I was fucked up.
Speaker 3: I always wanted to leave a room and have people
Speaker 3: go with that guy's fucked up. I listened to it
Speaker 3: this weekend with a meal. I listened to it all
Speaker 3: the time. If you haven't heard it, Skateboard Sketch Tim Robinson.
Speaker 3: It's the funniest thing you'll watch all year, and the
Speaker 3: year is coming to a close, but it will win
Speaker 3: your your ear rapped and you're Spotify wrapped of videos.
Speaker 1: It's so funny.
Speaker 3: Also another one to watch that is literally a gem
Speaker 3: of a comedy video. You'll everyone will enjoy it. Triumph
Speaker 3: the Insult Dog God on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast.
Speaker 3: So the first part he just went on, well, Robert
Speaker 3: Smigel's on the interview, but for the first part where
Speaker 3: it's like, hello, my name is Triumph the Insult Dog,
Speaker 3: and I feel blah blah, blah to be Conan O'Brien's friend.
Speaker 3: You know where they do that the intro for every
Speaker 3: celebrity on his show, You say, I'm Nicki Glazer, and
Speaker 3: I feel honored to be Conan O'Brien's friend. So he
Speaker 3: got on and some of the jokes were like, it's
Speaker 3: great to be I was there at the beginning with you,
Speaker 3: Cornan when it was so tough, and now I am
Speaker 3: clearly I am here at what is clearly the end.
Speaker 1: He was like, he was like, serious satellite radio. Oh, oh,
Speaker 1: the wave of the past.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: He goes, why oh, serious satellite radio.
Speaker 1: He goes, why buy the why buy the pig for
Speaker 1: free when you can pay only one ninety nine a
Speaker 1: month to rent this piece of shit?
Speaker 5: Like it was just it was.
Speaker 1: It was so funny.
Speaker 3: There are so many great one liners, like all in
Speaker 3: a row, and it's like it remind it's a roast
Speaker 3: set up.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, Triumph is a roast, Like that's the character.
Speaker 2: I didn't even like think about it. Yeah, but it's
Speaker 2: so funny.
Speaker 3: But I was saying, oh, the concrete Halloween Everyone's I
Speaker 3: wanted to be a piece of shit. Oh I wanted
Speaker 3: something you said made me think of something, and maybe
Speaker 3: I don't have time to finish it in this segment,
Speaker 3: but we'll continue it on the next one.
Speaker 2: I was in couples therapy yesterday.
Speaker 3: Chris might be home, so I don't want him to
Speaker 3: think I'm like talking shit because I'm not. But I
Speaker 3: don't want him to be like, oh, what is she
Speaker 3: talking about? Because he wouldn't care if I said this,
Speaker 3: but because it's all about me, which because it is.
Speaker 1: It's because that's why we were there though, by the way,
Speaker 1: because it's all about me.
Speaker 5: It uh.
Speaker 3: I had double therapy yesterday, so it was a little
Speaker 3: bit like h individual and couple, but couples.
Speaker 2: I found out something interesting about myself.
Speaker 3: I if we're talking about being insulted, I don't mean,
Speaker 3: I don't mind being called a bitch doesn't hurt me.
Speaker 1: It's not like it's it just goes like whatever.
Speaker 3: Literally, out of all the insults you could call me
Speaker 3: as a woman, cunt, bitch, anything that's kind of has
Speaker 3: to do with your mean doesn't insult me. Now this
Speaker 3: I had to make this clear because Chris is tiptoeing
Speaker 3: around those words in there, by the way, because I
Speaker 3: have been one and I am one when I get threatened.
Speaker 3: When we've realized it's around like if my free time
Speaker 3: gets threatened, if anything with my schedule gets threatened, I
Speaker 3: will like kind of lash out. And I have to
Speaker 3: be honest, I don't think that. I think I as
Speaker 3: I am very sensitive to him being sometimes moody or
Speaker 3: whatever that version of him a man is. I'm very
Speaker 3: sensitive to it, and he's like, I'm just you know,
Speaker 3: I'm just answering your question. I'm sorry, I'm not like
Speaker 3: smiling when I say it. I'm not mad at you.
Speaker 3: This is just I think he can be also sensitive
Speaker 3: to me being a bee. But that's that's my perspective,
Speaker 3: not his his experiences. I'm a bee, but he doesn't
Speaker 3: want to say it.
Speaker 5: By the way, and when a man does it, he's
Speaker 5: a CEO.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly. Someone's been listening to the Man by Taylor Swift.
Speaker 2: So it is interesting to me.
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, hold on, what was that going with this?
Speaker 3: So? Oh so growing up, you would think bitch would
Speaker 3: be a really bad word for me to hear because
Speaker 3: I got called a bitch all the time I by
Speaker 3: my mom mom, and everyone is.
Speaker 1: Shocked by that.
Speaker 3: But that's like the way that the East Coast talks
Speaker 3: like you're a real piece of shit, Like calling your
Speaker 3: daughter bitch is not good. I don't think my mom
Speaker 3: would ever be okay with the fact that she did
Speaker 3: that if she she knows that she did, because it
Speaker 3: continues to check. Yeah, it's it would be like I
Speaker 3: would be playing with my blocks and she no, I'm
Speaker 3: just kidding.
Speaker 5: I would be like, knows block like a bitch right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I gotta go to break.
Speaker 3: Let me think about how she would say it, and
Speaker 3: I'll come back with my mom impression of her calling
Speaker 3: me a bitch, and we can we can partial this,
Speaker 3: all right, We'll be back after this.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 1: So my mom did call me a bitch a lot
Speaker 1: as a kid.
Speaker 3: And I know this because my sister also got called
Speaker 3: a bitch a lot and we joke about it all
Speaker 3: the time. But my mom calls people bitches, you know,
Speaker 3: like she's a little bit like, but that's different.
Speaker 1: That's a festive bitch.
Speaker 3: We would be called bitches when we would see it
Speaker 3: when we reached the age of bitch, which is around puberty,
Speaker 3: when you start to be like I don't want to yeah,
Speaker 3: I hate this. Yeah, and you're just saying mean things
Speaker 3: and you're being you're being a bitch. Yep, you're throwing things,
Speaker 3: You're going like it's ugly and I hate it, and
Speaker 3: it's like Christmas morning and you're like, what is Like?
Speaker 3: I was a fucking great a bitch when I was
Speaker 3: going through puberty and you know, hormonally.
Speaker 1: I become a bitch. And but I don't. I don't.
Speaker 3: I didn't care when she would call me that because
Speaker 3: but the thing is that I think about my mom.
Speaker 3: She can call us a bitch, you shan't call her
Speaker 3: a bitch mom. That's why I'm so surprised that it
Speaker 3: doesn't trigger me. My mom's the worst thing you can
Speaker 3: call her as a bitch. So that's why I said
Speaker 3: be before because I'm so used to it. If I
Speaker 3: talk about I can say you're being a bee. That's
Speaker 3: slight that light and hit. But if you want to
Speaker 3: maybe get slapped, which my mom left me one time
Speaker 3: in my life, it was definitely because I called her
Speaker 3: a bitch.
Speaker 1: There's no question in my mind.
Speaker 3: I don't remember exactly the conversation, but it had to
Speaker 3: be because it is just this triggering word for my mom.
Speaker 3: So my question is Noah is the word bitch and
Speaker 3: Brian to your wife if she seems like she could
Speaker 3: never be one. But how do you feel about being
Speaker 3: called at Noah? And how do you feel about saying it?
Speaker 2: Brian, I haven't been called a bitch by anyone who
Speaker 2: is before? Right, I have been a bitch? Do you agree?
Speaker 2: Is that like crazy?
Speaker 3: I've heard you recount things where you're like, wow, I
Speaker 3: didn't act cool right then and I said this, like really,
Speaker 3: and I'm talking about early Noah too. Let's talk about
Speaker 3: Noah before she went to therapy. You had to have
Speaker 3: been a bitch.
Speaker 2: I think being called crazy was the one that triggered me.
Speaker 2: But being called a bitch is like, okay, great, I'm mean.
Speaker 5: Those two words go hand in hand sometimes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, cook oh crazy bitch, that's interesting.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that'll be bad.
Speaker 3: Crazy crazy I kind of like also because let me
Speaker 3: just say, if Chris were to call me crazy, I'd
Speaker 3: be like, I go to therapy, I see a psychiatrist.
Speaker 1: I might be crazy. At least I'm treating it.
Speaker 3: You might like you're not doing anything in like right now,
Speaker 3: Like my thing would be like call me crazy all
Speaker 3: you want that. I do have a crazy But I'm
Speaker 3: doing everything. I literally do everything I can in my
Speaker 3: within my means. I'm reading the books I'm reading, I'm
Speaker 3: subscribed to the Instagram accounts I'm doing, I'm journaling. I
Speaker 3: call me crazy all you want you. That's like calling
Speaker 3: telling someone they have cancer. You have cancer. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I know, like, but I'm fine with it because I'm
Speaker 3: treating it. If you tell me I have cancer and
Speaker 3: I'm not doing anything for it, I might be insulted,
Speaker 3: but yeah, I don't find crazy to me is a
Speaker 3: condition that I'm proud to be because it also, like
Speaker 3: being a shoe, it makes you what's special about you,
Speaker 3: like the personally shoe. Maybe that's not it, but like
Speaker 3: your quirkiness, whatever it is that he called you that,
Speaker 3: that's what makes you so fucking good. Honestly, I think.
Speaker 4: This makes me good at at writing and then being quiet, sorry,
Speaker 4: very practical gets your work type of person.
Speaker 1: No, you're extremely creative and hilarious, and.
Speaker 4: That's why it really takes offense to it either because
Speaker 4: like I know, I'm funny and plenty of people have
Speaker 4: called me the opposite of a shoe, so I'm like, well,
Speaker 4: I think maybe you're just misinterpreting something.
Speaker 3: Okay, bitch can be fixed. That's another thing, bitch fixed.
Speaker 3: That's going to be a new app that I come
Speaker 3: up with. Bitch fix, Uh is what would be bitch fix.
Speaker 3: Bitch fix would be like an a meditation app to
Speaker 3: get you out of like your moodiness.
Speaker 4: It would be if it could cut through to someone
Speaker 4: actually change, like make them recognize their behavior as being bitch.
Speaker 1: I think I could. I think I could.
Speaker 3: If people were open to the idea that they could
Speaker 3: be a bitch, I could maybe make an app that
Speaker 3: would serve me and other bitches out there to calm down,
Speaker 3: not think about it from like me, like, because I
Speaker 3: think bitch comes out when you're.
Speaker 1: Like, I'm a victim, I had no hand in this whatsoever.
Speaker 1: Everyone hates me.
Speaker 3: And when you are completely insecure lashing out like you're
Speaker 3: just and you're weak, you're tired, you're hungry, what is
Speaker 3: it called halt? You're hungry, you're uh anxious, lonely or
Speaker 3: tired or yeah, hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Yeah, so like
Speaker 3: establishing those things and figuring out But anyway, I told so,
Speaker 3: I'm sitting there with the therapist and Chris is like
Speaker 3: being like, I don't want to say this word. I
Speaker 3: hate this word. And he's being so said, I go, bitch.
Speaker 3: I was like, he thinks I'm a bitch, and I go,
Speaker 3: can I be honest with you? And I'm like looking
Speaker 3: at Melissa, my lady, and I go, I kind of
Speaker 3: like being called a bitch. I'm said, I acknowledge that
Speaker 3: I don't like that. It makes you feel bad, and
Speaker 3: I don't like that. I don't want to make anyone
Speaker 3: feel bad with being bitch, and that's part of bitch
Speaker 3: and I realize that. But when I hear bitch, I
Speaker 3: hear someone who might have some boundaries. And I like
Speaker 3: that about myself because I feel like so much of
Speaker 3: the time I was just always had to be nice
Speaker 3: and sometimes and I respect bitches a little bit or
Speaker 3: people that I would maybe call a bitch because they
Speaker 3: don't seem to need my approval, and I like that quality.
Speaker 3: And I think that bitch has some of that for me.
Speaker 3: But she's got to tone it down, like keep all
Speaker 3: the things that I think.
Speaker 1: I don't care what you think.
Speaker 2: With assertive, you want to be an assertive woman like
Speaker 2: bad bitch.
Speaker 1: Yes, assertive, but that's the problem.
Speaker 2: I think assertive comes off this bitch sometimes to different people. Right, Like,
Speaker 2: let me just let me give you an example. Okay,
Speaker 2: as no asked me about something.
Speaker 3: That let's go through like all the ways in which
Speaker 3: I could respond to this ask from Noah in person
Speaker 3: if you called me.
Speaker 2: You rarely call me with an ask, but call me
Speaker 2: with something. And Okay, Nikki, I need you to read
Speaker 2: these three ads and they're due in like another thirty minutes.
Speaker 2: And I sent them to you last week, okay, and you, oh,
Speaker 2: if you send them to me last week, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: feel bad.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get it done no matter what.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, Yeah, I know that that's not really like us.
Speaker 1: There's no way that I would.
Speaker 2: Go fuck you. No, I can't.
Speaker 3: Like, let's say, Nikki, you mess up this, Okay, if
Speaker 3: it was you, you mispronounced this girl's.
Speaker 1: Name, and I need it really quick to turn this
Speaker 1: ad in.
Speaker 2: Nicki. You and I'm just telling you now for some reason,
Speaker 2: even though that's not okay, we're Nicki and Noah in
Speaker 2: a different dimension. Yeah, Nikki, you misread this name in
Speaker 2: the ad copy and I need it.
Speaker 1: What's the name.
Speaker 2: It's uh a Sigourney Weaver.
Speaker 3: Oh I said, uh, Sigourney uh Weever, Yes, right, I
Speaker 3: got Sigourney right.
Speaker 1: For some reason, I get the easiest part wrong.
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't know why I said weever. Okay, yeah, honestly, Okay,
Speaker 3: this is me being uh walked all over.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: No, this is that's normally me. Okay, I don't know
Speaker 3: what I'm trying to do here, but here's here's me
Speaker 3: being assertive.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 2: This could be sorry. Noah, I'm really sorry.
Speaker 1: I don't have time to do that. Uh, and I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna do it.
Speaker 3: You gotta just tell them take it as it is,
Speaker 3: because that name's really confusing. That could be bitch because
Speaker 3: I'm not like saying it like this, maybe in this tone,
Speaker 3: which is being like I because this is what happens
Speaker 3: with Chris and I. He'll ask me to do something
Speaker 3: and I won't have that tone of like, actually I
Speaker 3: can't right now, which I probably would with a regular producer,
Speaker 3: because you know, Chris producing my special. Like if it
Speaker 3: was like a guy that I like just met in
Speaker 3: this project, I'd probably be like, I actually don't have.
Speaker 1: Time to do that today.
Speaker 3: I I'm just like overwhelmed right now, and I think
Speaker 3: we're actually in really good shape and we don't need
Speaker 3: to talk about that thing until Tuesday, and we can
Speaker 3: do it then. But instead I'll go like, no, I
Speaker 3: don't want to do that. We don't need to do
Speaker 3: that until Tuesday.
Speaker 5: I'm not.
Speaker 3: I have a busy day. That's the difference, right, But
Speaker 3: that's how I talk to my boyfriend, and I'm not.
Speaker 3: And my point is I'm not annoyed at him.
Speaker 1: I'm annoyed a like.
Speaker 2: Let's say Bill Lawrence, you you would talk, you would
Speaker 2: say the first way.
Speaker 3: No, No, I would say the first way Bill Lawrence me.
Speaker 3: He's kind of a closer friend of mine, so I'd
Speaker 3: probably be like, Bill, what the fuck?
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that? No, we don't.
Speaker 2: Do you think we really need to do that?
Speaker 3: I don't think we need to do that, Like let's
Speaker 3: wait till so yes, because I'm not fucking Bill Lawrence,
Speaker 3: so I don't need I don't have.
Speaker 1: The same you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: But the being a woman is that's that happened.
Speaker 4: That's why I made that hilarious joke about and No
Speaker 4: One that everybody loved about. If when you're a woman,
Speaker 4: you're a bitch, and when you're a man, you're a CEO.
Speaker 4: Because men are perceived like that same attitude would be
Speaker 4: perceived it's like, oh, he's in charge, and it would
Speaker 4: be positive, but for women it's it's viewed as a
Speaker 4: negative often and final also joke.
Speaker 1: It is behind.
Speaker 3: This is interesting because I'm not a lot of the
Speaker 3: stuff that's like men get this and women get this
Speaker 3: and it's harder for women. I'm not mad about it,
Speaker 3: it's just you like to point it out, you know,
Speaker 3: like it's just I benefit from a world in which
Speaker 3: men and everyone do expect women to be softer and
Speaker 3: maybe more cordial. There is there are ways in which
Speaker 3: I operate in that framework that makes it so maybe
Speaker 3: people don't think i'm a bit when i'm assert of
Speaker 3: because of that same system. There are benefits to being women,
Speaker 3: and I can't come up with a fucking single one
Speaker 3: right now. But no, no, I will say, people don't
Speaker 3: expect me to carry shit, uh huh. If they need
Speaker 3: help caring stuff, if they need help moving some chairs,
Speaker 3: there's like and there's a man and it's me.
Speaker 1: Ye, a man has to do it, and I get
Speaker 1: to just hang out like that's.
Speaker 4: You're on the place and there's someone trying to get
Speaker 4: their bag down and they can't get it down. No
Speaker 4: one's gonna ask a woman to help them.
Speaker 3: I always help me, and I love doing it before men.
Speaker 3: I fucking love it so much because men just go like,
Speaker 3: oh shit, that was supposed to be my job. And
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, you were listen. I pilate's bodies got it.
Speaker 3: I can now I've got I've locked in my shoulders,
Speaker 3: I know the stance I square them.
Speaker 5: Uh huh yeah. I like.
Speaker 3: I like helping This woman the other day was like,
Speaker 3: oh she she was very old and she was at
Speaker 3: the carousel and we were waiting for her bags and
Speaker 3: she was like I saw a gopher one.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no way, ma'am.
Speaker 3: She's like totally bent over, so broken, and I was
Speaker 3: like I told her that, I go, you're so.
Speaker 1: Broken and no.
Speaker 3: I helped her with the bag and I got it
Speaker 3: and then she was like, oh, this isn't my bag,
Speaker 3: and so I lugged it back on.
Speaker 2: It was very heavy. Oh and when I did it.
Speaker 3: When I first did it, she goes, you are you
Speaker 3: are so sweet, which is just like I love hearing,
Speaker 3: and she's like, you, you don't have to do a
Speaker 3: nice thing the rest of the day.
Speaker 2: You're done for the day, and I go great.
Speaker 3: So then when we put her bag back up, and
Speaker 3: she goes, now that's my bag, and I go, nope,
Speaker 3: I already you said I didn't have to do anything nice.
Speaker 1: With the rest of the day.
Speaker 2: You're on your own.
Speaker 1: And I walked away, and then I came back and
Speaker 1: helped her. But it was funny. Yeah, I don't have
Speaker 1: to do that stuff.
Speaker 5: So there's I do the opposite.
Speaker 4: I'm a bitch on the plane because if someone asked
Speaker 4: me to take their bag down, I literally have to say, well,
Speaker 4: my cardiologist told me that I can't lift over thirty
Speaker 4: pounds in each arm, so I can't take down your bag.
Speaker 1: Wait is that true?
Speaker 5: That's true? But so I but that's what I think,
Speaker 5: and then I do it anyway and it hurts me.
Speaker 1: Wait, wait, my goodness, your cardiologist told you.
Speaker 5: Well, I have a heart condition. What when I have?
Speaker 5: It's not a big deal at least.
Speaker 1: This is the one that's not a big deal yet.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's fine, I remember, but they said that don't
Speaker 4: lift any don't lift over thirty pounds with each arm
Speaker 4: because it'll exacerbate your heart condition.
Speaker 5: So I have not been doing that since then.
Speaker 4: And so when someone asked me to take their bag down,
Speaker 4: I know that their bag is probably over thirty pounds and.
Speaker 1: You have to blame.
Speaker 5: Then I explain it in my head, and then they.
Speaker 4: Just do it because I'm not going to be like
Speaker 4: I'm not going to be like well yeah, so it's
Speaker 4: like I should be a bitch, but instead I just
Speaker 4: take it down.
Speaker 5: I go, now I'm going to die a week earlier
Speaker 5: because of this.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, thanks a lot, the ultimate sacrifice. Yeah.
Speaker 6: So, and I don't get credit for that. Yeah, that's
Speaker 6: really I don't know about my heart. In that situation,
Speaker 6: he said, sorry, can't do it for you.
Speaker 5: My heart sucks.
Speaker 3: You know, I have any kind of If you say
Speaker 3: heart condition, we instantly everyone just stops listening, goes.
Speaker 1: Okay, never mind.
Speaker 5: But even then I don't want there to be a scene.
Speaker 5: And the whole plane is like looking at me like
Speaker 5: like it's only for another seven times.
Speaker 4: Sorry, I have a heart condition. And then everyone's like,
Speaker 4: oh god, that was a little it's awkward.
Speaker 1: Friend, I.
Speaker 5: Ask me a person with a heart condition, thanks for asking,
Speaker 5: by the way, if I have a how I'm doing
Speaker 5: you know?
Speaker 3: Yeah, there really is no way to announce you have
Speaker 3: a heart condition when you're all standing up in that
Speaker 3: like tiny cabin area and everyone's just kind of it's
Speaker 3: all quiet, and there's no even music playing. The loading
Speaker 3: music is playing, it's just like the sounds of the
Speaker 3: playing kind of going.
Speaker 4: Like and everyone's just like everyone wants me to take
Speaker 4: the bag down so that it goes faster.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so now you are like reading your web
Speaker 2: MD at this one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, yeah, taking it.
Speaker 2: It's awful location pills to prove it, yeah, yeah, to
Speaker 2: prove it, I.
Speaker 4: Just have to be since I was thirty five, And
Speaker 4: how dare you? Honestly, what's even in that thing?
Speaker 3: You're still talking as she's like someone else has already
Speaker 3: gotten it down for her, and you're still explaining fucking
Speaker 3: nerd heart condition. Yeah, and no one really believes you.
Speaker 3: But also like, yeah, it's believes you.
Speaker 5: No nobody believes you. Oh god, I was a lot
Speaker 5: of things that no one believes me that I have.
Speaker 3: But yeah, that's true, you do, well, Sean, Yeah, well no,
Speaker 3: still it for debate. Dsw souh my.
Speaker 2: Friend Sean has a orien.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Sean O'Brien, he has a flight anxiety, which was
Speaker 3: interesting to me, but only after it lands. He gets
Speaker 3: very anxious when everyone is eager to get out, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, so he pops zannies usually or some whatever
Speaker 3: he has to call himself as soon as the plane lands,
Speaker 3: which I'm like, once you're landed, I think that's the
Speaker 3: But he doesn't have a fear of flying. He is
Speaker 3: a fear of everyone being anxious, which is so child
Speaker 3: of an alcoholic no offense Sean. It's so like I
Speaker 3: need to control this, Like I can't stand that everyone
Speaker 3: is so eager to get out.
Speaker 1: What what is that? You think?
Speaker 2: And I was trying to like help him, Impede. Do
Speaker 2: you think he's worried for like this, I impede.
Speaker 3: No, maybe, like in a dark caveman way, like he's
Speaker 3: worried about some kind of thing. But I think what
Speaker 3: it was was because I told him a thing that
Speaker 3: I do because I sense it a little bit, Like
Speaker 3: I'm just like everyone e calmed down. When people stend
Speaker 3: to get nervous around me, I just go the opposite,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you all are.
Speaker 1: Disgusting, like be cool, this is hell.
Speaker 3: Yes, Like I really will like if people around me
Speaker 3: are like so even on like working on my special
Speaker 3: If everyone's like, we gotta figure this out.
Speaker 2: I will just like lay back in my chair and
Speaker 2: be like, oh do it?
Speaker 1: Like I reject that anxiety. I hate it.
Speaker 3: I hate it so much so when I'm on a
Speaker 3: plane and everyone's getting nervous, I don't even notice I
Speaker 3: do this until I was talking to Sean.
Speaker 1: And examining it.
Speaker 5: But I will.
Speaker 3: I will keep my sleep mask on after the plane
Speaker 3: is landed, the lights are on, everyone's bags are packing up,
Speaker 3: I will stay curled in a ball with like a
Speaker 3: scarf over my face, not unbuckle my seatbelt because I
Speaker 3: know I can do everything in such a quick amount
Speaker 3: of time that it won't affect it won't slowed anything down.
Speaker 3: I know that for me to take off my pill,
Speaker 3: pill over my head, put around my scarf, I'm fast.
Speaker 3: It'll take me one minute. But I like that everyone
Speaker 3: around me is.
Speaker 1: Like this girl, she just even she's not gonna be right.
Speaker 2: I like I like that.
Speaker 1: The windows so it doesn't it doesn't even matter.
Speaker 5: You could sit there and people could pass you by.
Speaker 5: Who cares if they really do.
Speaker 2: All the time.
Speaker 3: It's because sometimes I'm like, I gotta wait for my
Speaker 3: guitar to come up from the gates checked, and so
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm not getting off this plane. I'm not
Speaker 3: getting up out of my seat to wait in that
Speaker 3: cold hallway anytime sooner.
Speaker 2: So people are like or some people tap me, like
Speaker 2: are you okay.
Speaker 3: It's just like I know what I'm doing not And
Speaker 3: that's very sweet of people because they don't want me
Speaker 3: to be I've been woken up on planes before when
Speaker 3: I've slept through and the cleaning crew.
Speaker 5: Is like on and like, lamb, you gotta go.
Speaker 4: But but yeah, that I believe that to people. If
Speaker 4: people know Nikki Glazer, it's that she can do things
Speaker 4: very fast.
Speaker 1: That's that's the thing about me.
Speaker 2: I was, you know, on F Boy. I I noticed
Speaker 2: that when you're making your exit after you come in
Speaker 2: to see the guyser girls, you kind of do a
Speaker 2: glazier exit.
Speaker 5: I fast.
Speaker 3: Oh. Ever, it's the most awkward part of my fucking
Speaker 3: job is exiting out of the boys and girls chats
Speaker 3: on F Boy and now subsequently F Girl Island, which
Speaker 3: will be up soon. I can't I don't know how
Speaker 3: anyone would do that seamlessly. You just kind of go, okay, guys,
Speaker 3: well have a good party. I don't know how else
Speaker 3: this okay, how else would you do it?
Speaker 2: You gotta just get up and go. They don't need
Speaker 2: me anymore.
Speaker 3: I'm hindering them from meeting the girls who they all
Speaker 3: want to have sex with, Like you just have to
Speaker 3: talk to Aunt Nikki for a bit. I feel like
Speaker 3: I gotta get out of here. I'm a burden to them,
Speaker 3: so I fucking run. But how else are you supposed
Speaker 3: to say when you're in a conversation with people and
Speaker 3: you have to go. I mean, I'm sure I'm a
Speaker 3: producer's dream in terms of like get her out of here.
Speaker 3: But I'm wondering what else people would do then say
Speaker 3: all right, guys, have a good night, see you later.
Speaker 5: That's it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, you do it.
Speaker 3: You just do a fast and I'm like, no one
Speaker 3: notices it. But I'm wondering how slower I get, Like
Speaker 3: what a would you do to do? Like, what's something
Speaker 3: that like a.
Speaker 2: Hugging everyone instead of just getting up and pivoting? Yeah see,
Speaker 2: but we wouldn't you We would just not use that,
Speaker 2: so I guess.
Speaker 5: I'm just trying to you come in with your bag
Speaker 5: and you put it down and you take out a
Speaker 5: bottle of water, so that slow down.
Speaker 3: Whenever I props will like a therapy. I'm always looking
Speaker 3: up the clock. I hate going to like over their time.
Speaker 3: I hate being a burden to anyone too much, and
Speaker 3: so I will start like I'll just like put my
Speaker 3: like drink in my lap, and then I start kind
Speaker 3: of like putting my fanny pack and my like, you
Speaker 3: props do help me signify I'm getting ready to abandon you,
Speaker 3: and so gear up. Don't be shocked because I think
Speaker 3: over the years, my Glazer exits have really.
Speaker 5: Have been jarring because they're so abrupt. I know they are.
Speaker 3: Chris coined Glazer exit because him and his brothers, him
Speaker 3: and his brother when they were living together, and my
Speaker 3: friend Sara Alina and Vaughan, they were like, you like
Speaker 3: leave so fast after you say you're leaving, you leave,
Speaker 3: and then you leave. Yes, there's no like hey guys
Speaker 3: and thinking about going, because it's a waste of fucking time.
Speaker 3: It's a pleasantry that we don't need. If you leave,
Speaker 3: you leave, and it might be a bit it might
Speaker 3: be a little bit of a bitch, like I'm leaving, like.
Speaker 2: It's too abrupt.
Speaker 4: So just as a reminder before you do a Glazer
Speaker 4: exit on the podcast recording, I have two questions I
Speaker 4: need to ask you before you leave.
Speaker 2: Yeah, get it.
Speaker 5: So I'll ask them after we're done recording.
Speaker 4: But I know you're gonna do your Blazer exit and
Speaker 4: be like all right bye, thanks, good job, and then
Speaker 4: and you're gone.
Speaker 3: Oh I Glazer exit after this, Okay, after the recording,
Speaker 3: give too much.
Speaker 1: It's good to know.
Speaker 3: So let's like finish this up because I'm dying to
Speaker 3: hear those questions and no one else gets to know them.
Speaker 3: There's nothing much. Oh they're not okay, Well, Gemini with
Speaker 3: a Libra rise again, that's true. I'm enneagram, uh three?
Speaker 3: And what other things do people want to know about me?
Speaker 5: Rice cakes?
Speaker 2: Rice cakes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've oh, I've been doing a thing with rice
Speaker 3: cakes that I'm obsessed with right that I've been doing
Speaker 3: for a while. But I am ready to reveal it
Speaker 3: because it is kind of a weird food thing, but
Speaker 3: I think it is so delicious and consistency wise, it's
Speaker 3: a dream.
Speaker 2: You get your favorite type of milk. You put some.
Speaker 3: Vanilla stevia in it, like one drop or like you know,
Speaker 3: a whole dropper of it to sweeten it, and then
Speaker 3: you dip plain rice cakes into the milk to soak
Speaker 3: it up, because they soak up.
Speaker 2: It's like cookies and milk. But you know what cookie
Speaker 2: is like.
Speaker 3: A hard unless it's an nobial cookies there's a lot
Speaker 3: of car but you know how they're like generally hard,
Speaker 3: and they don't soak up milk like to the center,
Speaker 3: and you might want to, like you would have to
Speaker 3: leave a cookie soaked a really long time to get
Speaker 3: it really saturated. If you're someone who likes really saturated things.
Speaker 3: Rice cakes absorb instantly. It's a sweet treat because there's
Speaker 3: sweetness in the milk, and it like tastes like a
Speaker 3: sweet treat, and it has that consistency of like really
Speaker 3: soggy like but you can do it for just a
Speaker 3: second if you don't like really soggy. And it's so
Speaker 3: delicious and it's like cereal on your own terms and
Speaker 3: you're biting it and you're dipping it in a bowl.
Speaker 1: So that's my that's my seit.
Speaker 5: But salt a little salty.
Speaker 2: Yes, the salt is always gonna be good.
Speaker 3: I get the ones that are unsalted, but if they're
Speaker 3: lightly salted, it's also delicious because salty and sweet is
Speaker 3: always good.
Speaker 5: Yeah, z salt on a dark chocolate bar.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3: But this is more of an anorexic take on that
Speaker 3: you can put some chocolate powder in it to actually
Speaker 3: add some sweenis.
Speaker 1: But it's not anorexic.
Speaker 3: It's just like it is inspired by those same kind
Speaker 3: of eating habits of like how do I eat as
Speaker 3: much as I can without my calories? But it is
Speaker 3: a sweet treat that is not hugely. You can have
Speaker 3: like five rice cakes and almond milk with stevia and
Speaker 3: the whole thing ends up being like one hundred and
Speaker 3: fifty calories and it feels like a big production and
Speaker 3: it's fun and it's sweeten.
Speaker 5: It's a treat.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: So that's my tip, not a diet tip, just a
Speaker 3: fun snack tip. And another tip is that the podcast
Speaker 3: will not be on next week, So eat those rice
Speaker 3: cakes and I am think of me on the sixteenth.
Speaker 3: Come to see me on the sixteenth in Seattle, Come
Speaker 3: to see us in Brea this weekend. Me Brian Frangie
Speaker 3: and Ori A Findling's brother Noah Findling are gonna be
Speaker 3: in Brea at the Improv this weekend Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Speaker 3: And then I will be in Hollywood doing some random
Speaker 3: sets next week. And then I will be in Spokane
Speaker 3: on Thursday night next week and then so come see
Speaker 3: me there at a theater in Spokane, and then that
Speaker 3: will be the special That will be the show, that
Speaker 3: will be the dress rehearsal performance of my special performance,
Speaker 3: which will be on the sixteenth in Seattle. Two shows
Speaker 3: to choose from. Come out and see me any of
Speaker 3: those shows. Love you guys so much. New Year's Eve
Speaker 3: and New Year's Eve Eve in Paramount Theater in Denver.
Speaker 1: So excited for those shows. Going skiing before that as
Speaker 1: a treat to Chris. I hope I don't.
Speaker 3: I'm not on crutches on those shows. I won't be
Speaker 3: because I'm a great skier and great things happen to me.
Speaker 3: All right, Thank you guys for listening to this podcast.
Speaker 3: Don't bika and just be a fucking bit Bye.