WEBVTT - #36 Brandon

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<v Speaker 1>Jackie, I have some good news. Well, it seems like

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<v Speaker 1>there's some interest in turning the Heavyweight podcast into a

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<v Speaker 1>TV show. So I was just calling to see who

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<v Speaker 1>maybe you know who you want to play, Jackie. I

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<v Speaker 1>was thinking, you know, maybe Rita Marino.

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<v Speaker 2>Don John No one's gonna watch your show.

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<v Speaker 3>Baby, what did you say? You wait?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm confused on two counts. A that you would say

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<v Speaker 1>something so cruel and that b you would punctuate it

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<v Speaker 1>with babe. You know a lot of people believe in

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<v Speaker 1>this project. Why would you laugh at that?

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<v Speaker 3>A lot of people believe in this project From Gimblet Media.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Jonathan Goldstein and this is Heavyweight Today's episode Brandon

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<v Speaker 1>right after the break.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we'll just roll in there and see what's going on.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Brandon. He's thirty three years old and wearing

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<v Speaker 1>a suit and string tie. His wife, Megan is in

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<v Speaker 1>a sun dress, and together they're about to enter the

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<v Speaker 1>new Palestine High School prom. Megan is the school's our teacher,

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<v Speaker 1>but tonight she's chaperoning with Brandon as her date. She

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<v Speaker 1>introduces him to the other teachers. At a certain point,

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<v Speaker 1>they're interrupted by the announcement of prom King and queens.

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<v Speaker 4>Students.

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<v Speaker 1>While Megan congratulates her students and makes small talk with

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<v Speaker 1>her colleagues, Brandon wanders off and observes the kids. Some

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<v Speaker 1>are dancing, some are lined up for the photo booth.

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<v Speaker 1>There are kids talking to teachers and others gossiping among themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>But then Brandon's gaze lands on another subset, those aimless

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<v Speaker 1>kids wandering along the margins alone. They remind Brandon of

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<v Speaker 1>himself when he was a teenager and his own prom.

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<v Speaker 1>Brandon thinks about his prom a lot, and the improbable

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<v Speaker 1>path that led him to it, which began when he

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<v Speaker 1>was just a little kid.

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<v Speaker 2>Through middle school and junior high I had a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of bullying problems. That was kind of an easy target.

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<v Speaker 1>There were a number of things that made him one.

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<v Speaker 2>First, I'm like still a big guy now, but I was.

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<v Speaker 2>I was at my biggest in high school, heaviest.

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<v Speaker 1>Second, Brandon tried too hard to fit in. Like the

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<v Speaker 1>time he shaved a Nike swoosh into the back of

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<v Speaker 1>his head.

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<v Speaker 2>I just thought, like sports, that's that's cool.

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<v Speaker 1>So it made your head look like a running shoe exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I sat in front of this kid named Cyril,

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<v Speaker 2>and he said it looked like a hockey stick, and

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<v Speaker 2>that was enough that everyone was like, that's a hockey stick.

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<v Speaker 2>That is not a Nike swoosh.

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<v Speaker 1>Finally, Brandon was a Coda, a child of deaf adults.

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<v Speaker 1>His family attended a deaf church and spends a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of time in the deaf community. He says he was

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<v Speaker 1>brought up with different social norms.

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<v Speaker 2>Like volume, Like volume is not a concern around deaf

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<v Speaker 2>people and in a deaf environment, and then of course

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<v Speaker 2>it is around hearing people.

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<v Speaker 1>So what is that mean?

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<v Speaker 2>Like any examples, Yeah, like school, where it's like time

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<v Speaker 2>to be quiet. I was just constantly talking to myself

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<v Speaker 2>or just vocalizing my thoughts, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Then in middle school, Brandon's parents divorced. There was less

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<v Speaker 1>space for him, less attention paid to him. He drew inward.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I wanted to put off a harder like

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<v Speaker 2>you can't hurt me exterior than I really had on

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<v Speaker 2>the inside. So wearing hot topic clothes, spiky things, black clothes,

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<v Speaker 2>and trying to just like keep your hoodie on and

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<v Speaker 2>get through the day.

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<v Speaker 1>And for the most part, Brandon succeeded in going unnoticed

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<v Speaker 1>until the spring of his senior year, Brandon was sitting

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<v Speaker 1>at the back of a classroom during a free period,

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<v Speaker 1>eavesdropping on a conversation from across the room. Some classmates

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<v Speaker 1>were talking about a prom, and among the group was

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<v Speaker 1>a girl named Ali. She was going on about what

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<v Speaker 1>a great night it was going to be, how excited

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<v Speaker 1>she was.

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<v Speaker 2>She had like long blonde hair with highlights, big features,

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<v Speaker 2>like big eyes, She had a big smile. M. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>Like when she smiled, she looked really happy. And I

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<v Speaker 2>think she kind of pulled me into the conversation by

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<v Speaker 2>directing some of those questions at me, like are you

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<v Speaker 2>going to prom? Who are you going to prom with?

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<v Speaker 1>Brandon had no intention of going. He hadn't a girlfriend

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<v Speaker 1>or any prospects for a date, and he was confused

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<v Speaker 1>about why Ali was talking to him. Brandon says they'd

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<v Speaker 1>barely ever spoken. They were from totally different social worlds.

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<v Speaker 1>Ali was in student government. She was popular and beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>She was just really well put together, clean, and you, M, no,

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<v Speaker 2>that's not a word I'd use to describe myself in

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<v Speaker 2>high school. I mean, like I would like smell my

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<v Speaker 2>clothes before I put them on in the morning, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>like I got dressed from the floor, okay, in my bedroom.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and yet Ali kept throwing questions at him. Why

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't he going. If he did go, who would he take?

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<v Speaker 1>Brandon answered in monosyllables, hoping she turned back to her

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<v Speaker 1>friends and leave him alone, but instead she rose from

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<v Speaker 1>her seat and began striding towards him.

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<v Speaker 2>Inside, I was like, uh, like inflamed, do you know

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<v Speaker 2>what I mean? Like my heart my heart rate was rising.

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<v Speaker 1>With each question. Ali moved closer and closer until she

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<v Speaker 1>was sitting at the desk in front of him, facing him.

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<v Speaker 1>Then she did something that still flummixes Brandon fifteen years later.

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<v Speaker 2>She just kind of outright said, take me to prom, Like,

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<v Speaker 2>go to prom, take me, Let's go together. I immediately

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<v Speaker 2>had questions, questions like why, why me? What's going on?

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<v Speaker 2>I guess I was skeptical, this is some kind of trick.

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<v Speaker 5>Hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, why would you be asking me this other

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<v Speaker 2>than to setting me up for a punchline or something

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<v Speaker 2>like that. But no punchline really came, so I just agreed.

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<v Speaker 1>On the big night, Brandon met up with Ali and

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<v Speaker 1>her friends for a pre dance dinner at her friend

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<v Speaker 1>Jen's house. He was in the fancier part of town.

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<v Speaker 1>Brandon showed up wearing his rented suit with a corsage

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<v Speaker 1>and a bright blue necktie that matched Ali's stress. Before

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<v Speaker 1>leaving to the dance, everyone lined up for a group picture.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you like just feel like saying why the heck

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<v Speaker 1>am I here right? What happened? Was this a mistake?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Yeah, I would have loved an answer to that question,

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<v Speaker 2>but I would never have thought, couldn't fathom saying it.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, do you still have that prom photo that

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<v Speaker 1>you guys took?

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<v Speaker 2>No? To be honest, I'm not even sure I ever

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<v Speaker 2>got it, so I don't think I ever even saw

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<v Speaker 2>that picture.

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<v Speaker 3>Hmm.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you think you would see in that photo?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, just imagining it makes me laugh.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, why?

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<v Speaker 2>It would be a line of like beautiful high schoolers,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, and like me. There just feels like if

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<v Speaker 2>your eyes set on me for a little too long,

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<v Speaker 2>that maybe you'd be able to see that I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>fit in.

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<v Speaker 1>Aliander friends look like the girls in those movies about prom,

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<v Speaker 1>and those girls always had guys who gave them the

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<v Speaker 1>time of their lives. For Brandon, a sense of duty

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<v Speaker 1>kicked in.

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<v Speaker 2>It felt like a huge responsibility. It was like, this

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<v Speaker 2>is going to be a big deal in Alley's life forever,

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<v Speaker 2>and I have a big responsibility as her date to

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<v Speaker 2>make sure that I live up to this position.

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<v Speaker 3>Hmm.

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<v Speaker 2>I was really really nervous.

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<v Speaker 1>Did did you guys? Did did you and Nally slow dance?

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<v Speaker 1>I'd pretty feel like I feel like when I asked

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<v Speaker 1>these questions, I feel like Hannibal Lecter, like I'm asking

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<v Speaker 1>these questions from a straight jacket in a cell. Did

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<v Speaker 1>you slow dance? Did you slow dance?

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<v Speaker 2>I do remember slow dancing because I remember thinking, like,

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<v Speaker 2>it's funny that in TV shows and in movies, this

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<v Speaker 2>is such a big deal, but it's just standing like

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<v Speaker 2>you're kind of just like stepping slightly. Yeah, Like that's

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<v Speaker 2>not hard. Like I was in like a hip hop

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<v Speaker 2>dance crew and youth group. You know that was hard?

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, you were in a sorry repeat that you were

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<v Speaker 1>in a hip hop dance youth group.

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<v Speaker 2>What? Yeah? So the church I went to was just

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<v Speaker 2>like through a lot of performances and hip hop dance

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<v Speaker 2>that happened.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you ever at any point break out any of

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<v Speaker 1>your Christian youth group hip hop move on the dance floor?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you do anything like on the floor, like where

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<v Speaker 1>you spin on your back, or you didn't. You didn't

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<v Speaker 1>want to ruin the rental. You learned to get your deposit.

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<v Speaker 1>At the prom, Brandon pop for the Lord and locked

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<v Speaker 1>for the Lord. He made Allie's friend laugh. And it

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<v Speaker 1>was right there on the dance floor, the place one

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<v Speaker 1>might expect a high school boy to feel the most

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<v Speaker 1>self conscious, that Brandon felt most at ease. He was

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<v Speaker 1>a part of the group, of a group.

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<v Speaker 2>That kind of felt like a resolution of what all

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<v Speaker 2>of Greade school was like for me. You know, I

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<v Speaker 2>never felt safe enough to bring my true self into

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<v Speaker 2>that space. But like, dancing around at prom with your

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<v Speaker 2>peers is like one of the most vulnerable things you

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<v Speaker 2>can do, and it came out on the other end

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<v Speaker 2>of it, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>At the end of the prom, Ali and all her

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<v Speaker 1>friends headed to one of their classmates' houses for the

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<v Speaker 1>after party, but having never been to a house party,

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<v Speaker 1>Brandon decided not to go. Do you remember saying goodbye

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<v Speaker 1>to Ali?

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<v Speaker 2>No?

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<v Speaker 1>And then what happened after that? Do you recall speaking

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<v Speaker 1>with her singer in school after that night?

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<v Speaker 2>I had to have because we both went back to school,

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<v Speaker 2>But I don't have any specific memories of talking to

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<v Speaker 2>her again.

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<v Speaker 1>PROM is supposed to stay with you for the rest

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<v Speaker 1>of your life, and for Brandon it has but eclipsing

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<v Speaker 1>the dancing, the music. The last night out with his

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<v Speaker 1>peers is a lingering question.

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<v Speaker 2>Which was, like, why me out of all the people

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<v Speaker 2>that you could be going with. Maybe it was one

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<v Speaker 2>of those situations where all of these people out there

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<v Speaker 2>are thinking, well, Ali's taken, She's totally going to problem

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<v Speaker 2>with somebody already, I'll have to ask somebody else, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and then leaves her without a PROM date. If that

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<v Speaker 2>was what was going on. Maybe maybe she just had

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<v Speaker 2>a breakup. Maybe I was part of a charity case.

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<v Speaker 1>So you want to ask her why why did she

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<v Speaker 1>pick you?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly, I want to know that. Yeah. Without her,

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<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't have gone to PROM. It would have just

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<v Speaker 2>been another thing on my list of things I regret

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<v Speaker 2>from high school, you know, But it's not on that list.

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<v Speaker 2>It's on the shorter list of things that I feel. Okay, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I'd like to thank her.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just nervous, which is why Brandon has reached out

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<v Speaker 1>to me. If you get nervous, I mean, I can

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<v Speaker 1>always jump in sure, I've just assumed I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>be coming along to chaperone. After the break, I chaperone

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<v Speaker 1>Brandon back to high school. Before Brandon can ask Ali

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<v Speaker 1>the question that's been on his mind since senior year,

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<v Speaker 1>we first need to track her down. Her last name

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<v Speaker 1>is Schmartz Schmutz. I'm just making that Brandon's part of

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<v Speaker 1>a Facebook group for his high school graduating class, and

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<v Speaker 1>Ali's a member of the group as well. Does that

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<v Speaker 1>mean that you can have a better chance of messaging

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<v Speaker 1>or through that group?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, like, if I were going to use the group,

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<v Speaker 2>it would be making a post for my whole graduating classes.

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<v Speaker 1>Might as well go big, like say, hey, I'm just

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<v Speaker 1>going to put this out there to everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, if you're not Ali, please don't read this.

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<v Speaker 1>But Ali, I just want to say, Hey, hit me up.

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<v Speaker 1>Here are my digits. Everybody else, just lose this number.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe Facebook friend her.

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<v Speaker 2>I could do that. Yeah, I'd have to change my

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<v Speaker 2>name on Facebook. My name hasn't been my real name

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<v Speaker 2>for a long time.

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<v Speaker 1>What's the name that you operate under?

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<v Speaker 2>Oak Tree?

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<v Speaker 1>Just oak Tree, just oak Tree. I can't even find

0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:47.880
<v Speaker 1>you as brand. I'd have to look up oak Tree.

0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:51.120
<v Speaker 2>That's right. I was kind of playing with what kinds

0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:53.240
<v Speaker 2>of words it lets me have as a name?

0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.520
<v Speaker 1>Can you change your name from oak Tree to Brandon?

0:13:57.840 --> 0:13:59.280
<v Speaker 2>Probably a good idea.

0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.240
<v Speaker 1>Then you don't have to start with a whole rigmarole

0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:04.240
<v Speaker 1>about how like my name's not really oak Tree. This

0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:07.000
<v Speaker 1>is Brandon, by the way, you remember from high school.

0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:11.040
<v Speaker 1>And so the mighty oak Tree sheds his leaves and

0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:15.400
<v Speaker 1>his name, and the Mighty Brandon sends Ali a friend request.

0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:23.000
<v Speaker 1>A week later, Brandon texts with an update. Ali has

0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.120
<v Speaker 1>accepted his friendship. Now he just needs to send her

0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:29.600
<v Speaker 1>a message. Okay, so you've crafted something already.

0:14:30.600 --> 0:14:34.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, would you could you read it? Sure? Yeah? Hi Ali?

0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:36.800
<v Speaker 1>Good?

0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:37.240
<v Speaker 2>So far?

0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:39.520
<v Speaker 1>Casual?

0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:40.320
<v Speaker 2>Okay? Cool?

0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:41.960
<v Speaker 1>Go ahead?

0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:45.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Hi Ali. Maybe you'll remember me. We were prom

0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:46.000
<v Speaker 2>dates our senior.

0:14:46.160 --> 0:14:49.120
<v Speaker 1>As Brandon reads me a draft, I focus my Keen

0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:50.960
<v Speaker 1>podcast producer's ear.

0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:53.480
<v Speaker 2>By my recollection. It was your idea for us to

0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:54.320
<v Speaker 2>go to prom together.

0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:58.760
<v Speaker 1>Now let me pause, sorry, let me hit pause there. Yeah,

0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:01.560
<v Speaker 1>like the way that you're underlining your idea, you're not

0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:06.440
<v Speaker 1>actually underlining that, though I did italicize it. It was

0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:10.200
<v Speaker 1>your idea for us to go to prom.

0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:10.600
<v Speaker 2>Together.

0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:11.480
<v Speaker 1>Is that what you're saying.

0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:15.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it sounds accusatory out loud. Yeah, so me.

0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:19.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, maybe we'll do italicize that part. Okay, keep going.

0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:23.160
<v Speaker 1>Brandon tells Ali that he still thinks about their prom.

0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:25.360
<v Speaker 1>He says he wants to talk to her about it.

0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:28.480
<v Speaker 1>Would you be up for that? Okay, Okay, let's take

0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:30.240
<v Speaker 1>a look at this here. Okay, so maybe I'll remember.

0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:33.240
<v Speaker 1>As Brandon and I pour over the message, a worry

0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:35.960
<v Speaker 1>suddenly pops into my head. I wonder if there's a

0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.640
<v Speaker 1>way to work in the fact that you're married, you know.

0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:43.480
<v Speaker 2>How about just I'm married? But I'll just start with it. Hey, listen,

0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:44.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm taking speaking.

0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:46.600
<v Speaker 1>As a married man. Me and my wife are wondering.

0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:48.960
<v Speaker 1>That is my wife and I. We were wondering the

0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.520
<v Speaker 1>other night after making love.

0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:59.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, to be doing good work, and I hope you're well.

0:15:59.480 --> 0:15:59.960
<v Speaker 2>All the best.

0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:04.520
<v Speaker 1>Once we've crafted the perfect message, Brandon readies himself to

0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:05.160
<v Speaker 1>hits end.

0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Should I go ahead and do it?

0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:09.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, let's do it. Go ahead, HiT's end.

0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:11.640
<v Speaker 2>Enter, it's sent.

0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:21.800
<v Speaker 1>Congratulations, thank you. A week later, Alli writes back, she's

0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:22.760
<v Speaker 1>willing to talk.

0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:26.840
<v Speaker 2>So that's good. It's a positive response.

0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:33.360
<v Speaker 1>I look at you. You're you're You're giddy, You're giddy

0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:34.160
<v Speaker 1>with expectation.

0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:38.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Can you tell to keep wiping my face and

0:16:38.560 --> 0:16:39.360
<v Speaker 2>touching my eyes?

0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:45.760
<v Speaker 1>Would it be fun to do it on a video call? Sure? Sure?

0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:46.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:48.040
<v Speaker 1>Do you still have the suit that you wore to

0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:52.560
<v Speaker 1>your prom I'll be like, I never took it off.

0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:58.240
<v Speaker 1>Any things that you want me to bring up, just

0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:03.120
<v Speaker 1>kind of like conversationally, words or any upcoming projects that

0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:04.560
<v Speaker 1>you want to promote or.

0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:07.680
<v Speaker 2>No, keep it organic whatever.

0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:10.280
<v Speaker 1>Cool cool, I can keep it organic cool.

0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:20.199
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:24.280
<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hello, I'm getting a little bit of static on

0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:24.760
<v Speaker 1>your end.

0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:26.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Hello better.

0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:29.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. On the day of the video call with Ali

0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:31.960
<v Speaker 1>Brandon and I get on early and wait.

0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:35.960
<v Speaker 2>It feels like I'm getting back into the psyche of

0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:40.680
<v Speaker 2>my high school self. Like I'm hi, Hi, Allie, Hi,

0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:42.720
<v Speaker 2>how are you good?

0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:47.439
<v Speaker 1>Allie smiles a big smile full of big white teeth.

0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.879
<v Speaker 1>She's wearing a blue pattern blouse that matches the blue

0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:51.640
<v Speaker 1>of her nails.

0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:54.119
<v Speaker 2>I'll just tell you what I've seen on your profile.

0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:55.760
<v Speaker 2>You live in Carmel and you have a baby.

0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:58.639
<v Speaker 4>I have two daughters, a three year old and a

0:17:58.640 --> 0:17:59.200
<v Speaker 4>two year old.

0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:01.240
<v Speaker 2>Awesome, they're right here on my.

0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:03.720
<v Speaker 1>Wall, Brandon and Alley catch up.

0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:05.880
<v Speaker 4>The Midwest is just such a nice place to raise

0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.639
<v Speaker 4>a feet. It's recruiting, but there's like a sales element.

0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:10.400
<v Speaker 4>And then of course the grandparents are here.

0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.919
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I figured that was part of it, just a family.

0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:14.120
<v Speaker 2>It's a huge reason there.

0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:15.200
<v Speaker 4>They're always willing to.

0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:21.200
<v Speaker 1>Brandon's question hasn't gotten any easier to ask since high school.

0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:25.520
<v Speaker 1>In fact, it's gotten harder. After a pause of a

0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:29.520
<v Speaker 1>few minutes or even a few days, one can feign casualness,

0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:33.560
<v Speaker 1>by the way, why'd you choose me? But to ask

0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:36.720
<v Speaker 1>after fifteen years, there's no way to buy the way

0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:41.040
<v Speaker 1>your way through it. But eventually, so.

0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:42.200
<v Speaker 2>Can I ask you some questions?

0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:42.959
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely?

0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:47.399
<v Speaker 2>I guess first, like, what are your memories of me

0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:48.399
<v Speaker 2>in high school?

0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:50.760
<v Speaker 4>Yeah? So, I was trying to think of this. Did

0:18:50.800 --> 0:18:53.000
<v Speaker 4>we ever have any classes together?

0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:54.479
<v Speaker 2>Probably not?

0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:57.640
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, So we met senior year, right.

0:18:58.359 --> 0:19:02.119
<v Speaker 1>I think so doesn't remember much, but one thing she

0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.320
<v Speaker 1>does remember is that day in the back of the

0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:05.800
<v Speaker 1>classroom we.

0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:08.040
<v Speaker 4>Were talking about prom, you know, as seniors do, and

0:19:08.359 --> 0:19:10.400
<v Speaker 4>I think you had you were like not into going

0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:12.639
<v Speaker 4>to prom right, and You're like, no, I'm not gonna go.

0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:13.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:15.080
<v Speaker 2>I remember, like you had to really spell it out.

0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:19.119
<v Speaker 2>You were like, are you going to prom? They're not okay?

0:19:19.480 --> 0:19:22.680
<v Speaker 2>Like if you were, would you be going with someone? No? Okay?

0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:25.360
<v Speaker 2>And then eventually you were like you and me can

0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:27.760
<v Speaker 2>go to prom? Like why don't we go to prom?

0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:28.800
<v Speaker 2>You know?

0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:34.200
<v Speaker 1>And then Brandon asks this question sort of.

0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:39.720
<v Speaker 2>Like at any point did you consider having having someone

0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:40.600
<v Speaker 2>else as a date?

0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.760
<v Speaker 4>Well, I would have been totally comfortable going by myself.

0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:47.920
<v Speaker 4>So I don't have any memories of thinking like I'm

0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:49.840
<v Speaker 4>gonna ask Brandon and then if that doesn't work, I'm

0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:51.840
<v Speaker 4>gonna ask so and so they're just kind of like

0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:52.679
<v Speaker 4>I'm asked Brandon.

0:19:55.960 --> 0:19:58.399
<v Speaker 2>That is surprising, I guess because I thought like that.

0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:00.719
<v Speaker 2>It was like spur of the moment. Your friends were

0:20:00.760 --> 0:20:02.480
<v Speaker 2>hearing this for the first time too.

0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.679
<v Speaker 4>No, no, I was very obsessed with my friends, so

0:20:05.920 --> 0:20:08.119
<v Speaker 4>I'm sure that I ran it by them. So you

0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:09.280
<v Speaker 4>passed the friend test.

0:20:12.720 --> 0:20:16.520
<v Speaker 1>Brandon grows quiet. It wasn't a prank. It wasn't pity.

0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:20.560
<v Speaker 1>Ali planned to ask him. What's more, she wasn't going

0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:21.720
<v Speaker 1>to take no for an answer.

0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.719
<v Speaker 4>I do remember, like you did say no. I remember

0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:27.040
<v Speaker 4>you saying no, and I'm like, oh, yeah, but give

0:20:27.119 --> 0:20:29.480
<v Speaker 4>him a day. I'm gonna make him go. He's gonna

0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:36.000
<v Speaker 4>go with me. But yeah, you were just surprised by

0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:37.040
<v Speaker 4>the fact that I asked you.

0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:43.200
<v Speaker 2>I mean, yeah, definitely hmm.

0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:47.399
<v Speaker 1>Alie pauses trying to find the right words.

0:20:48.600 --> 0:20:50.600
<v Speaker 4>You made me laugh a lot, and I remember that

0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:53.320
<v Speaker 4>you were just, you know, fun to be around and goofy,

0:20:53.400 --> 0:20:55.600
<v Speaker 4>and you smiled at me a lot. I remember that,

0:20:55.960 --> 0:21:01.680
<v Speaker 4>you know, like I liked being around you, and if

0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:04.440
<v Speaker 4>I made a joke, you would laugh at it, you know, maybe.

0:21:04.320 --> 0:21:12.760
<v Speaker 2>Feel like I was funny, which is a great quality.

0:21:13.520 --> 0:21:14.520
<v Speaker 4>You got me a corsage.

0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:15.000
<v Speaker 2>I remember that.

0:21:15.119 --> 0:21:17.320
<v Speaker 4>I remember not expecting you to get me a corsage.

0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:20.399
<v Speaker 4>I'm thinking that was really nice. I do remember that.

0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:22.359
<v Speaker 4>Isn't that silly? But like, I don't remember a lot,

0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:23.200
<v Speaker 4>but I remember that.

0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:27.520
<v Speaker 1>So you know, I'm going to be a little blunt

0:21:27.560 --> 0:21:33.359
<v Speaker 1>here because sure, was there anything else to it? Like

0:21:33.520 --> 0:21:36.400
<v Speaker 1>what was there an element of something romantic?

0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:42.280
<v Speaker 4>So we probably flirted, right, But I don't know. I mean,

0:21:42.320 --> 0:21:47.359
<v Speaker 4>friendship is really just the main feeling that I can recall.

0:21:49.640 --> 0:21:52.760
<v Speaker 4>I'm not saying that there wasn't you know. I mean,

0:21:53.840 --> 0:21:56.359
<v Speaker 4>I don't know. You're a teenager, You're feeling all kinds

0:21:56.359 --> 0:21:58.960
<v Speaker 4>of things. I'm sure there were moments where I was like, oh,

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.280
<v Speaker 4>is this you know, was this turning into this?

0:22:02.920 --> 0:22:04.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? That?

0:22:05.160 --> 0:22:05.280
<v Speaker 6>Uh.

0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:09.200
<v Speaker 2>I think that I would have found that really hard

0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:12.320
<v Speaker 2>to believe as a kid, you know, that would have

0:22:12.359 --> 0:22:15.720
<v Speaker 2>gone against the narrative of school and what people thought

0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:16.720
<v Speaker 2>of me that I had.

0:22:18.400 --> 0:22:21.680
<v Speaker 4>I don't know. I guess to some extent, I knew

0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:25.880
<v Speaker 4>that we were I want to be honest, I knew

0:22:25.880 --> 0:22:28.520
<v Speaker 4>that there was some people were surprised by the fact

0:22:28.560 --> 0:22:31.840
<v Speaker 4>that we were going together, right. I do remember one

0:22:31.880 --> 0:22:35.639
<v Speaker 4>time when I told some dude in my physics class

0:22:35.680 --> 0:22:38.320
<v Speaker 4>I can't remember, that was going with Brandon and they're like, wait,

0:22:38.320 --> 0:22:41.720
<v Speaker 4>what And I was like yeah, and they're like that's weird,

0:22:41.760 --> 0:22:43.080
<v Speaker 4>and I'm like, you're weird.

0:22:45.119 --> 0:22:45.280
<v Speaker 6>Well.

0:22:45.320 --> 0:22:48.760
<v Speaker 1>Brandon remembers himself as a misfit. Allie remembers someone who

0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:50.480
<v Speaker 1>was different than a lot of the other guys in

0:22:50.560 --> 0:22:54.119
<v Speaker 1>high school. Brandon made rye jokes, he was sweet and

0:22:54.160 --> 0:22:58.400
<v Speaker 1>self deprecating. She remembers things that Brandon doesn't. She says

0:22:58.440 --> 0:23:01.040
<v Speaker 1>there was one time Brandon did a whole monologue about

0:23:01.040 --> 0:23:03.199
<v Speaker 1>how he found it hard to drive because of his

0:23:03.280 --> 0:23:07.159
<v Speaker 1>fear of hitting birds. In other words, Allie asked him

0:23:07.160 --> 0:23:10.320
<v Speaker 1>to prom for the one reason Brandon never considered. She

0:23:10.480 --> 0:23:11.520
<v Speaker 1>just wanted to go with him.

0:23:12.960 --> 0:23:16.080
<v Speaker 2>Did you have a good time? Eproum? Because I really

0:23:16.119 --> 0:23:18.359
<v Speaker 2>wanted that for you. I spent a lot of time thinking, like,

0:23:19.119 --> 0:23:20.720
<v Speaker 2>that's my role on the date. Here I go.

0:23:20.840 --> 0:23:25.240
<v Speaker 1>You know, yeah, Allie grows thoughtful.

0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:28.480
<v Speaker 4>I guess I didn't even think that, because I mean,

0:23:28.520 --> 0:23:32.439
<v Speaker 4>I talked you into it, right, so then here you

0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:36.639
<v Speaker 4>are kind of not stuck, but like, yeah, feeling like

0:23:36.680 --> 0:23:39.520
<v Speaker 4>you wanted to make it special for me because I

0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:42.000
<v Speaker 4>was the one that was all about it. Yeah, I

0:23:42.000 --> 0:23:45.919
<v Speaker 4>guess I never even thought about that. I just think, Brandon,

0:23:45.920 --> 0:23:48.320
<v Speaker 4>You're You're just so much more thoughtful, you know, I

0:23:50.119 --> 0:23:53.400
<v Speaker 4>just thoughtful about the whole experience. And I do want

0:23:53.440 --> 0:23:55.320
<v Speaker 4>to thank you because that's so nice that you were

0:23:55.440 --> 0:23:57.640
<v Speaker 4>thinking it was your duty to try to make sure

0:23:57.680 --> 0:23:58.879
<v Speaker 4>I had the problem I wanted to have.

0:24:00.119 --> 0:24:05.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I honestly didn't even expect to be thanked from

0:24:05.560 --> 0:24:09.760
<v Speaker 2>you for anything. I feel like I have to thank

0:24:09.800 --> 0:24:13.520
<v Speaker 2>you because there's something really simple and superficial about this,

0:24:13.600 --> 0:24:16.359
<v Speaker 2>but it felt really real that I finished high school

0:24:16.640 --> 0:24:19.560
<v Speaker 2>as a person who went to prom. I got to go.

0:24:19.640 --> 0:24:23.639
<v Speaker 2>I got to have a fun time and forget the

0:24:23.640 --> 0:24:25.080
<v Speaker 2>misfit feelings I was having.

0:24:25.800 --> 0:24:28.000
<v Speaker 5>That's awesome. That's so awesome to hear you say that.

0:24:28.000 --> 0:24:35.960
<v Speaker 5>That's really nice.

0:24:40.960 --> 0:24:43.679
<v Speaker 2>My life started to really just like blossom and grow.

0:24:43.880 --> 0:24:46.240
<v Speaker 2>I guess from like the moment high school was over.

0:24:46.800 --> 0:24:50.720
<v Speaker 2>And I guess I can't say for certain what that

0:24:50.760 --> 0:24:52.679
<v Speaker 2>part of my life would have looked like had I

0:24:52.720 --> 0:24:55.720
<v Speaker 2>not had the problem experience, but I can't say it

0:24:55.760 --> 0:24:56.720
<v Speaker 2>was totally irrelevant.

0:24:58.480 --> 0:25:01.000
<v Speaker 1>Was it out of that and kind of like into

0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:04.000
<v Speaker 1>that period that you ended up meeting your wife Meghan?

0:25:04.480 --> 0:25:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was like that phase of life when Meghan

0:25:07.240 --> 0:25:09.919
<v Speaker 2>I met her.

0:25:10.040 --> 0:25:10.760
<v Speaker 1>Dress is so cute.

0:25:10.800 --> 0:25:11.800
<v Speaker 2>She looks beautiful.

0:25:12.359 --> 0:25:15.600
<v Speaker 1>This is Megan Brandon's wife looking at a photo a

0:25:15.680 --> 0:25:16.800
<v Speaker 1>valley from prom night.

0:25:17.200 --> 0:25:17.920
<v Speaker 6>She looks amazing.

0:25:18.040 --> 0:25:21.280
<v Speaker 1>She looks great. After getting off the video call, Ali

0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:24.480
<v Speaker 1>sent the group photo from prom, Megan studies it while

0:25:24.520 --> 0:25:25.600
<v Speaker 1>seated beside Brandon.

0:25:26.160 --> 0:25:28.199
<v Speaker 6>It's also like, so cute to see you flanked by

0:25:28.200 --> 0:25:30.320
<v Speaker 6>these Like I mean, I'm sorry, they're in high school,

0:25:30.359 --> 0:25:31.760
<v Speaker 6>so I don't really feel like should be calling them

0:25:31.760 --> 0:25:33.440
<v Speaker 6>hot babes, but you know what I mean, Like from

0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:35.879
<v Speaker 6>the high school perspective, you.

0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:40.600
<v Speaker 1>Lucky looking man. But as Brandon looks at the photo,

0:25:40.880 --> 0:25:43.359
<v Speaker 1>I imagine it isn't his day to the other kids

0:25:43.359 --> 0:25:46.040
<v Speaker 1>that he's focused on so much as he's focused on

0:25:46.080 --> 0:25:48.360
<v Speaker 1>the big guy in the middle and all the baggage

0:25:48.400 --> 0:25:49.280
<v Speaker 1>that guy was carrying.

0:25:49.720 --> 0:25:51.680
<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of weird stuff about like my weight

0:25:51.760 --> 0:25:56.399
<v Speaker 2>and growing up, like dieting, and like my mom like

0:25:56.440 --> 0:25:59.320
<v Speaker 2>putting me on a scale and it was like, you're

0:25:59.400 --> 0:26:04.560
<v Speaker 2>over this line. You know, you're unattractive, and what does

0:26:04.600 --> 0:26:05.960
<v Speaker 2>it make you to feel?

0:26:05.960 --> 0:26:08.120
<v Speaker 1>Like Megan to hear that, it.

0:26:08.040 --> 0:26:09.280
<v Speaker 6>Makes me feel very protective.

0:26:09.400 --> 0:26:09.879
<v Speaker 2>For sure.

0:26:12.400 --> 0:26:14.520
<v Speaker 4>I think if we don't, we.

0:26:14.560 --> 0:26:17.560
<v Speaker 6>Really really get into squabbles. But if ever we do,

0:26:19.040 --> 0:26:22.080
<v Speaker 6>what really disarms me is like thinking about that like

0:26:22.160 --> 0:26:26.480
<v Speaker 6>little like young Brandon, I feel like that happened not

0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:27.679
<v Speaker 6>even that long ago. Do you remember we were like

0:26:27.680 --> 0:26:30.119
<v Speaker 6>standing at the kitchen and I started crying, and I

0:26:30.160 --> 0:26:32.120
<v Speaker 6>was just like I had been so resentful and mad

0:26:32.160 --> 0:26:33.919
<v Speaker 6>at you for a minute, and then I just like

0:26:34.000 --> 0:26:36.400
<v Speaker 6>was imagining you being like a little kid and having

0:26:36.440 --> 0:26:38.760
<v Speaker 6>other like adults in his life not really tend to

0:26:38.880 --> 0:26:40.880
<v Speaker 6>like the difficulties of that as well as.

0:26:40.800 --> 0:26:41.520
<v Speaker 1>They should have.

0:26:42.920 --> 0:26:46.360
<v Speaker 6>I think about him just having to like navigate those

0:26:46.400 --> 0:26:47.560
<v Speaker 6>insecurities alone.

0:26:51.160 --> 0:26:54.399
<v Speaker 1>But Brandon no longer has to navigate them alone. A

0:26:54.440 --> 0:26:57.679
<v Speaker 1>few weeks ago, before chaperoning the prom with Megan, Brandon

0:26:57.720 --> 0:26:59.960
<v Speaker 1>went to the tailor. He wanted to wear his weddings

0:27:00.480 --> 0:27:01.720
<v Speaker 1>and needed her to let it out.

0:27:02.320 --> 0:27:04.480
<v Speaker 2>She was like down on her knees, like looking at it,

0:27:04.560 --> 0:27:07.200
<v Speaker 2>pulling the pants in different ways, and then said, okay,

0:27:07.200 --> 0:27:09.160
<v Speaker 2>go ahead and open the pants up so I can

0:27:09.240 --> 0:27:15.920
<v Speaker 2>see how much we can let out. And I don't

0:27:15.920 --> 0:27:18.560
<v Speaker 2>know why, but I wasn't wearing underwear. I didn't wear

0:27:18.640 --> 0:27:21.800
<v Speaker 2>underwear to the tailor. I guess I didn't think that

0:27:21.840 --> 0:27:28.520
<v Speaker 2>she was going to be asking that. So yeah, she

0:27:28.640 --> 0:27:31.760
<v Speaker 2>asked me to open the pants and I was like

0:27:32.359 --> 0:27:35.720
<v Speaker 2>right now, and she's like, yep, go ahead, and I

0:27:35.800 --> 0:27:42.600
<v Speaker 2>just said, I can't do that right now, if you

0:27:42.640 --> 0:27:48.439
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean. Wow, I know, I know, and

0:27:48.480 --> 0:27:50.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't think. I'm honestly not sure if she knew

0:27:50.560 --> 0:27:53.959
<v Speaker 2>what I meant. But she dropped it and said, Okay,

0:27:54.520 --> 0:27:56.000
<v Speaker 2>I think we'll just let it out all the way

0:27:56.040 --> 0:28:00.919
<v Speaker 2>and that'll probably be enough. It was off. It was awful.

0:28:01.760 --> 0:28:04.439
<v Speaker 1>Brandon was spiraling so as soon as he left, he

0:28:04.520 --> 0:28:07.639
<v Speaker 1>sent Megan a text at school asking her to call him, and.

0:28:07.680 --> 0:28:09.359
<v Speaker 2>When she called me, I was fixing a flat. I

0:28:09.359 --> 0:28:11.119
<v Speaker 2>got a flat tire on the way home. It was

0:28:11.160 --> 0:28:15.080
<v Speaker 2>just like a shitty afternoon. So I was fixing a

0:28:15.119 --> 0:28:17.520
<v Speaker 2>flat and telling her what it was like at the tailor.

0:28:17.720 --> 0:28:21.320
<v Speaker 2>And then we hung up. And then she texted me

0:28:21.440 --> 0:28:26.359
<v Speaker 2>later and just said like, I love you, and I

0:28:26.400 --> 0:28:32.280
<v Speaker 2>love the way your body looks, and I don't think

0:28:32.280 --> 0:28:33.560
<v Speaker 2>it's weird that you didn't wear underwear. I don't we

0:28:33.640 --> 0:28:35.560
<v Speaker 2>underwear either. It was just like a you know what

0:28:35.600 --> 0:28:41.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean. She was supportive. That fixed it almost immediately

0:28:41.640 --> 0:28:41.880
<v Speaker 2>for me.

0:28:43.880 --> 0:28:44.040
<v Speaker 3>Hm.

0:28:47.240 --> 0:28:48.520
<v Speaker 4>Well, I taught him to go commando.

0:28:48.600 --> 0:28:50.160
<v Speaker 2>So I feel partially responsible.

0:28:55.480 --> 0:28:58.640
<v Speaker 1>What did you make of Brandon's question that he's had

0:28:58.640 --> 0:29:02.240
<v Speaker 1>through the years, Why did Ali invite him to the

0:29:02.280 --> 0:29:03.560
<v Speaker 1>prom in the first place?

0:29:04.840 --> 0:29:08.320
<v Speaker 6>It didn't have to be a mystery. It makes perfect

0:29:08.400 --> 0:29:12.280
<v Speaker 6>sense to me that somebody who looks like Ali could

0:29:12.520 --> 0:29:14.320
<v Speaker 6>like the person who she's standing next to.

0:29:15.760 --> 0:29:15.800
<v Speaker 5>You.

0:29:19.280 --> 0:29:22.640
<v Speaker 1>Brandon says the biggest difference between his two proms was

0:29:22.640 --> 0:29:25.440
<v Speaker 1>that with Megan, he didn't spend the whole night wondering

0:29:25.480 --> 0:29:28.840
<v Speaker 1>why the person by his side had chosen him. He's

0:29:28.880 --> 0:29:30.080
<v Speaker 1>just happy she did.

0:29:30.560 --> 0:29:32.160
<v Speaker 2>I was comfortable the whole time.

0:29:32.440 --> 0:29:34.160
<v Speaker 1>How could you not be comfortable? I mean you weren't

0:29:34.200 --> 0:30:24.320
<v Speaker 1>wearing underpants. Now that the furnitures returning to its goodwill.

0:30:23.960 --> 0:30:32.400
<v Speaker 6>Home, now that the last month's rent is scheming.

0:30:31.760 --> 0:30:36.560
<v Speaker 1>With the damage to pozzle, take this moment to dissolve.

0:30:38.680 --> 0:30:44.080
<v Speaker 5>If we meant it, if we tried, but felt around

0:30:44.200 --> 0:30:45.840
<v Speaker 5>for far to work.

0:30:47.560 --> 0:30:49.440
<v Speaker 4>From things that accidentally.

0:30:54.920 --> 0:30:57.520
<v Speaker 1>This episode of Heavyweight was produced by Stevie Lane, along

0:30:57.520 --> 0:31:01.640
<v Speaker 1>with me Jonathan Goldstein, and Mohemy mcgauga. Our senior producer

0:31:01.680 --> 0:31:06.040
<v Speaker 1>is Khalila Holt. Special thanks to Emilyconton, Alex Bloomberg, Sharon Mashihi,

0:31:06.200 --> 0:31:10.120
<v Speaker 1>mime O'donald, Jessica Young, and Jackie Cohen. Bobby Lord mixed

0:31:10.120 --> 0:31:13.520
<v Speaker 1>the episode with original music by Christine Fellows, John K. Sampson,

0:31:13.600 --> 0:31:17.400
<v Speaker 1>Michael Hurst, The Jacoby Family Band, and Bobby Lord. Additional

0:31:17.480 --> 0:31:20.400
<v Speaker 1>music credits can be found on our website, Gimletmedia dot

0:31:20.440 --> 0:31:23.560
<v Speaker 1>com slash Heavyweight. Our theme song is by the Weaker

0:31:23.600 --> 0:31:25.680
<v Speaker 1>Than's courtesy of Epitaph Records.

0:31:26.040 --> 0:31:26.680
<v Speaker 3>Follow us on.

0:31:26.640 --> 0:31:29.840
<v Speaker 1>Twitter at Heavyweight or email us at Heavyweight at gimletmedia

0:31:29.880 --> 0:31:33.680
<v Speaker 1>dot com we'll be back with a new episode next week.

0:31:51.600 --> 0:31:54.719
<v Speaker 6>Like we just like goof real easy, like making up

0:31:54.760 --> 0:32:00.680
<v Speaker 6>weird songs, doing weird shit like slap just like gonna say,

0:32:00.840 --> 0:32:06.640
<v Speaker 6>slapping each other's passes, but just like being stupid together,

0:32:06.720 --> 0:32:10.040
<v Speaker 6>which that's a corny or something, but like playing around

0:32:10.160 --> 0:32:11.040
<v Speaker 6>all of the time,