1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, come in. Hey, um, I think we have 2 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: what's the schedule. I'm sorry, my assistants out sick. Oh. 3 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:16,160 Speaker 1: I think we're supposed to meet with Will and he's 4 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: got you guys already start. I just you just walked in. Yeah, 5 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: so you're not late because I had five five past 6 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 1: two we were starting. Do you mind if we It's fine. 7 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: I was I was gonna like need one second to 8 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: just kind of quickly line let me no no no, no no, no, 9 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:36,200 Speaker 1: no no no. Step It's not a big deal. Guys, 10 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,519 Speaker 1: this is too much. I already I already I already 11 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,239 Speaker 1: popped open the sugar free Red Bulls so that we 12 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: could all sort of get started here. Do you want one? Well, 13 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,000 Speaker 1: I would love one, Thank you. Here you go. So 14 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: this is our big new endeavor. How boys, this is 15 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: exciting at least I'm excited. Well I think I'm speaking. 16 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,279 Speaker 1: I can only speak for myself, and I'm excited too. 17 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: I'm so excited mostly to kind of hear from you Will, 18 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: like what what these people are doing in the in 19 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 1: this podcasting space there there are so many, so many 20 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:10,679 Speaker 1: new people here that I'm I'm thrilled to play down 21 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: in front of you. Yeah, well, you seemed really excited 22 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,119 Speaker 1: all week, and we've been really looking forward to the meeting, 23 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 1: and I just want to make sure that it's not 24 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:18,760 Speaker 1: to be waste of our time. You guys let me 25 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: in the door, because I know your time is important 26 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,960 Speaker 1: to you and super valuable. So I don't want to 27 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: I don't want to waste it. Well, why you don't 28 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: have to get on the actual floor. You're supine on 29 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: the floor right now. I think some people think better 30 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,960 Speaker 1: by walking around the room. I think I get more calm, 31 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: and I think better by lying down then, because you know, 32 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: you know who recorded her hub like that, Alicia Keys? 33 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: Is that real? Alright? So what what kind of what 34 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: kind of I guess what is this a podcast? You 35 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: want us to produce? This is going to be what 36 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: I want you guys to produce. Are multiple podcasts. It's one. 37 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: It's a podcast called clown Parade, a anthological character piece 38 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: carefully rated by culturistics, right like a series. And it's 39 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: a series. And we have a number of very talented 40 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 1: individuals who take it over and do there. It's there. 41 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 1: It's their time to shine. I see. I like that 42 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 1: for this amazing audience we have out there, Let'm intrigued 43 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,639 Speaker 1: so far. Yeah, I'm intrigued so far. So you sort 44 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: of want to use our celebrity yep, it's a skyrocket 45 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 1: these well, and I know that that's what you guys 46 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 1: want to do as well, our celebrity, right, pay it 47 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: forward exactly as they said in the movie, pay it 48 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: for starring the incredible Helen Hunt and Haley Joel Osmond 49 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: and don't forget, don't forget. Hey, I see him on 50 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: the list. We gotta take him on. I don't want 51 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: to produce this podcast. I didn't you know what that was? 52 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: Just that was just a spitball. Okay, idea, what is this? 53 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: And you know what, let's take that off. Kevin's basically 54 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:05,119 Speaker 1: master class. No, don't don't read. Don't read you further. 55 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:08,800 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're already fluffing up. Okay, So, who's 56 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: the first person who's gonna take over this clown parne 57 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: an anthological character piece carefully curated by Cultures Desk. Yeah, 58 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:22,079 Speaker 1: it's a very talented young woman, okay, Greta, Yes, oh 59 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:26,639 Speaker 1: Greta's title. Yes, yes, of course she's actually gt actually 60 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: is a very close friend of ours. So excited to 61 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: hear what she's cooking up. It's called step Mom Presents. 62 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: The Husband Hunt is a step by step guide to 63 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: getting the life of your dreams the way step Mom 64 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: wants you to do it, as the saying goes, work 65 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: is for people who don't know how to fish. Jesus 66 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: said that. That was Jesus Christ, and I believe to 67 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: B C to B before Christ. And you guys know 68 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 1: that that. Greta is a comedian, actress, writer. She's living 69 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 1: in Los Angeles. O love that, so, which was such 70 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: as cool to get someone from l A. Yeah, well 71 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: she she already probably knows a lot about about the biz. 72 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: And you don't have enough people in podcasting who live 73 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: in l A. You really don't. There's a huge deficit. Absolutely, 74 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 1: it's mostly from Des Moines, Clearwater, Florida, Near Water, Florida, 75 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: huge podcasting, Tulsa. Yeah, like I said, and omaha, thank 76 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: you welcome. I think it says okay in your notes. 77 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 1: You can currently watch Greta on the HBO series Lois's 78 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: Spookies as US Ambassador Melanie Gibbons and what else, Matt, 79 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: I'm reading her. She was in Search Party and you know, 80 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,039 Speaker 1: Greta's comedy can be seen on Comedy Central, Vice and 81 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:48,599 Speaker 1: of course Instagram, of course course, but now clown Parade, 82 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:54,360 Speaker 1: an anthological character piece carefully curated cultures. I'm excited about this, 83 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: this husband Hunt. Is it going to be graphically violent? 84 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: That's what that what I've been told. Good, it's gonna 85 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 1: it's gonna mostly feature graphic violence. I love that, which 86 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: very in you know, on an auditory level, is chilling. 87 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:16,280 Speaker 1: Oh gosh, yeah, I love it. The sounds of ripping flesh, screams, 88 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: bashing teeth, yes, broken tibulus and fibulous, A lot of 89 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: teeth extraction. Yes, no, this is before I get to 90 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: gus on the extraction. You normally have it. No gas needed. No, 91 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:37,480 Speaker 1: we'll get up off the floor. Let's listen to that. 92 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: I think, Hey, everyone, let's listen to this. This is 93 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: step Mom Presents by Title Man. Is that robbing cabbage? 94 00:05:56,720 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: I smell? Oh no, it's you, my little twats and tweakers, 95 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 1: joining me, your stepmother, for the very first episode of 96 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: Stepmother Presents the Husband Toime. That's right, me, your gorgeous 97 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:16,119 Speaker 1: stepmother found a warm spot in her incredibly generous heart 98 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: to gift you, my fellow listeners, a guide to finding 99 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:25,320 Speaker 1: the husband that houses the keys to your dreams. The bag, 100 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: the money, the loot, the grub, the grime, the gems, 101 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 1: the gold, all of the gush in the world is 102 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: waiting for you. And it's it's simply not that hard, dear, 103 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 1: And that's why I'm here to present to you a 104 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: step by step guide to getting the life of your dreams. 105 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,479 Speaker 1: After all, the saying goes work is for people who 106 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: don't know how to fish. And darling, we are in 107 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,799 Speaker 1: the deep sea. Now. If this is your first time 108 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: ever being introduced to me, step mom, I'll tell you 109 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 1: a little bit about me. I am the one who 110 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: haunts your dreams. I am the one you never want 111 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 1: to come into your life. Why because I will take 112 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: everything from you and not bat a lash. I will 113 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: come in meet your father, snatch him right up in 114 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 1: my very palm. And next thing you know, why, your inheritance, 115 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: that car you love driving to work every day, Your 116 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 1: sweet sweet childhood room suddenly cleared out and now it's 117 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: my aerobics room. And oh yes, I'm going to be 118 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 1: taking all of everything your dreams ever rested on. But 119 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 1: don't worry, dearest, If you listen to this podcast, I'll 120 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: teach you how to ensure the brightest, most bountiful future 121 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: for yourself. And you might be thinking, why, Stepmom, this 122 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: seems awfully philanthropic of you to be doing something as 123 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 1: kind as teaching your sinister ways, teaching the tricks of 124 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,119 Speaker 1: the trade to all of the trollops on the town. 125 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 1: And I guess you could say, I did feel a 126 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: little like giving. You know, all of the greats always do, 127 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: and I not mean now here. I do believe in karma, 128 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: even though she is a bit. Now, let me tell 129 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 1: you a little story from my past, a time long ago, 130 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: when I too was like you, an absolute nitwit stomping 131 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: around an American apparel, when I was living my life 132 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 1: off of the rack and nothing custom, when I was 133 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: being lord nose embarrassing taking the subway and not a 134 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: car service. It was back back in the day when 135 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,359 Speaker 1: I thought I had it all by having a threesome 136 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:39,559 Speaker 1: with a skater and an artist, two of the biggest 137 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: offenses you can do. While we were out one night dancing, 138 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,199 Speaker 1: having fun, partaking in a little m d m A, 139 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: one might say, sipping on some vodka sodas from you 140 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: can only imagine the well the next thing. You know, 141 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 1: we decided to experiment because we're living in our youth bohemia, 142 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,319 Speaker 1: minded by the fact that it was a dead end. 143 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: One thing leads to another. We have a threesome on 144 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: a mattress on a floor Jersey Knitch sheets. It's hot, sticky, stinky, 145 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: and smelly. The sheets were brown. Who sleeps on brown sheets? 146 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: You ask why? The kind of person who doesn't have 147 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: access to frette. So once we're done rolling around, I 148 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: obviously didn't come. I say good night and wake up 149 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 1: three days later with a bleeding snatch. That's right, A 150 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: bleeding snatch that smells like rotted soufur. A bleeding snatch 151 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: that is saying to me, stepmother, this is not the 152 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: life of your dreams, stepmother. Something is wrong. And what 153 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: was wrong? I got the clap that's right, chlamydia. She 154 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 1: attacked me because I was making foolish mistakes, trolloping my 155 00:09:55,240 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: little twat all around the square, saying, Oh, it's no 156 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:04,080 Speaker 1: big deal, I'll just sleep with this. Want to be 157 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: bosk yacht. Oh it's no big deal, I'll just sleep 158 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: with this. Wanna be tony hawk weill. It turns out 159 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 1: neither of them had any money, so there was no 160 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 1: collateral to be collected. If you're going to be messing 161 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: with someone that can give you such a thing, at 162 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,800 Speaker 1: least get money for a dear. And that's when I 163 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,319 Speaker 1: swore to myself. I swore there was a bigger and 164 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,559 Speaker 1: brighter future out there for me, even if it involved 165 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,679 Speaker 1: me riding someone so hard I could hear their arthritic 166 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,520 Speaker 1: bones snap underneath me. It was a price I was 167 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 1: willing to pay to never get plowed by a hot 168 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 1: young thing with the clap Ever again, knowing full well 169 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 1: that one day, with the amount of money I will 170 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: collect from riding someone until they die, but I could 171 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,559 Speaker 1: just pay my future skater boyfriend to clean himself up. 172 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 1: So take it from me. Everyone in your life, as 173 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 1: you know it has got to go chow, sayonara, goodbye. 174 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,680 Speaker 1: It's time to move on. And if they get mad 175 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: at you, if they get sad that you're leaving them, well, 176 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: will most certainly be happy in ten years from now. 177 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 1: They can leach off of you at your compound in Malibu. 178 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: This very first episode, as we are Tigers in the Jungle, 179 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:25,719 Speaker 1: is about seeking. It's about finding our prized, prized prey, 180 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:29,680 Speaker 1: finding the prey that will soon become ours to keep 181 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 1: forever and all of their bank accounts to. So let's 182 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 1: start with what not to do. As I know all 183 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: of you are out there living absolutely pathetic little waste 184 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,960 Speaker 1: of life, wasting your time working jobs, dating people that 185 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: probably smell like PATROLI. So I am here to lay 186 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:55,680 Speaker 1: it out for you, stupid, stupid, stupid people as easily 187 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 1: as I can. Now. To start, you need to start 188 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 1: up sleeping with people your own age. That's right. Chances 189 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 1: are they make just as much money as you do, 190 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 1: and chances are they're just as lost and confused as 191 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: you are. Chances are they probably think the future holds 192 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 1: something big and bright for that, when in fact it doesn't. 193 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: So you need to start getting your life together and 194 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: wrapping your head around the fact that you are going 195 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:24,439 Speaker 1: to be staring at a pair of old dangling papaya 196 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 1: balls until the day he croaks, which is hopefully sooner 197 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: than later. You also need to stop splitting the bill now. 198 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,559 Speaker 1: Nothing irks me more than when I see young hot 199 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: foxes out on dates with prized packages saying, oh, let's 200 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: split it. No, you will not be spending any of 201 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: your coin in this seek my dear, you must stop 202 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:51,120 Speaker 1: going to the wrong environment. That is our biggest lesson 203 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 1: number one when seeking. We would never hunt a tiger 204 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 1: in the ocean, now, would we. Nay nay. So all 205 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 1: of those little, cool, little kid hangouts you've so enjoyed 206 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,679 Speaker 1: going to in your post grad years from n y 207 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: U you can stop attending now. No need to go 208 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: to Sophie's Bar on the Lower east Side, No need 209 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: to be going any place offering you a shot n 210 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: abir combo. From now on, everything will be fifty plus. 211 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 1: That is the crowd that we can get into. That 212 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 1: is the crowd that we can manipulate. That, my dear 213 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: sweet listeners, is where we are going to seek. No 214 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 1: more getting dickmatized by some Pete Davidson want to be 215 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,680 Speaker 1: because you want to know why they're not Pete Davidson, 216 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: darling dearest, And even though they're covered head to toe 217 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 1: and absolutely disturbed Calvin and Hobbes tattoos or whatever the 218 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 1: fuck it, maybe chances are the only way they're getting 219 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 1: around town is on two wheels not connected to a 220 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: luxury vehicle. Now, you need to stop letting these lanky 221 00:13:53,679 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 1: little skater fox wheel their way into your heart. I 222 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,680 Speaker 1: don't care if he's won twe me with a dick 223 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 1: that's nineteen thousand inches long. The only thing that will 224 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: make me care about that if he was one hundred 225 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 1: and twenty years old. Now. The only acceptable member of 226 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: a band moving forward is Mick Jagger. None of this. Oh, 227 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 1: he's in the second coming of the Strokes, nonsense, any musician. 228 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 1: We all know. It's just a life of a tour bus. Dear. Now, 229 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 1: do you think that tour bus is going to pay 230 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,400 Speaker 1: for your shopping spree at show pard? I think not. 231 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 1: That gets me to artists generally speaking, they've all got 232 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,480 Speaker 1: to go stop trying to live your god forsaken Patti 233 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: Smith fantasy. It is not nineteen sixty. You are not 234 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 1: Andy Warhol, You are not amused. You are living in 235 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,960 Speaker 1: one fucking some guy whereing god knows what, from who 236 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 1: knows where. That is not what we want for our futures. Vegans, 237 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 1: they are absolutely the worst. Now you're thinking, oh, stepmother's 238 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 1: because they don't eat meat, that they're not carnivorous little 239 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 1: whors like yourself. No, frankly, I don't give a fuck 240 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: who eats what as long as they're eating my ass. 241 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 1: But I will say vegans always tend to have morals 242 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 1: and lean socialists, so you must know that your future 243 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: will not be bright in bubbling coin. Now, A big 244 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: excuse that I hear from time to time is oh, 245 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:36,400 Speaker 1: but they've got potential. Oh, this skater that I've met 246 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 1: in Tompkins Squift Park as potential. Oh, this artist in 247 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:45,239 Speaker 1: oh Ma as potential. Oh my boyfriend working a mediocre 248 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 1: job at H and R Block has potential. Well, you 249 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: know what I don't like potential. The only potential I 250 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 1: want is a potential that you're going to die after 251 00:15:55,600 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 1: we have signed the marriage papers, Darling. The only kind 252 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 1: of potential is the potential for me to absolutely gain 253 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 1: every single ounce of your net worth after you have 254 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: officially croaked at the table. I know that you're thinking, Wow, 255 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 1: this is awfully harsh. I don't think I can get 256 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 1: comfortable with the fact that money and this stunning future 257 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 1: of my dreams is evil. Well, welcome to wearing your 258 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 1: big girl pants. These decisions are hard, but if you 259 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 1: want to have a life that isn't hard, you can 260 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:35,480 Speaker 1: start by toning down your morality. Now you're wondering, well, stepmother, 261 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: this sounds so hard. I'm so overwhelmed. You want me 262 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,680 Speaker 1: to leave my community, leave my friends, try and force 263 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 1: myself to be attracted to these old, archaic pieces of meat. 264 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 1: How do I do that? Where do I start? If 265 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: I'm not hanging out at my dive bars, if I'm 266 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: not going to the house parties, if I'm not sleeping 267 00:16:56,320 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 1: with someone who has four roommates step mother, where do 268 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:07,560 Speaker 1: I go? Well? That brings us to what to do, 269 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: Where to go, where to seek the prey we want 270 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:16,160 Speaker 1: to catch. Now that we've broken those nasty little habits, 271 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,959 Speaker 1: we need to cultivate and create new ones that are 272 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 1: going to lead to good gains and potential suitors. So 273 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 1: the first and foremost step is making sure we are 274 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,560 Speaker 1: in the right place at the right time. You need 275 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 1: to be going to correct events and venues. As this 276 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:35,439 Speaker 1: is crucial. You also must learn how to spot the 277 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 1: man that is loaded, hopefully more than just his bank account, 278 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 1: and what to wear while doing it. We can start 279 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 1: easy a NASCAR events, say, or if you're lucky and 280 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 1: you're listening to this in Europe, the Monaco Grand Prix. 281 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: These events are great for meeting oil tycoons or CEOs 282 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,640 Speaker 1: of another evil company and I know that. You say, well, 283 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,040 Speaker 1: I don't want them to be evil. All money is evil, 284 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,480 Speaker 1: day or get over it. The good thing about NASCAR 285 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,760 Speaker 1: and the Monaco Grand Prix is that people go there 286 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: to flaunt, so it's very easy to spy with your 287 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:11,160 Speaker 1: little lie a gold Rolex Daytona or a vintage Brightling 288 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:15,359 Speaker 1: or oh is that a Maserati? I spy. Men like 289 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,879 Speaker 1: to be flashy there, and you need to be a 290 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 1: complete dodo. Heead to not be able to clock them. 291 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 1: Why they're everywhere? Oh? What is that? You see a 292 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,760 Speaker 1: Gucci loafer and a man with a cane, you better 293 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,439 Speaker 1: pounce on that, like Tony the Tiger in the goddamn morning. 294 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 1: But I don't want to pay for tickets to go 295 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,679 Speaker 1: to a NASCAR race. I don't want to pay to 296 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,840 Speaker 1: go to the Monaco Grand Prix. Fine, there are always 297 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 1: events we can go to for free and not attend ourselves. 298 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 1: Such has been not limited to a plastic surgery convention. 299 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:50,440 Speaker 1: Why these events happen in gorgeous towns such as Scottsdale, Arizona, 300 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:56,400 Speaker 1: La Joya, San Diego, California. Even my Shining Star lost 301 00:18:56,600 --> 00:19:00,840 Speaker 1: fucking Vegas. You don't need to attend to the convention, 302 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 1: while you can simply find out what hotels are housing them. Oh, 303 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 1: is the Aria in Vegas housing a brand new plastic 304 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,919 Speaker 1: surgery convention for a whole new type of breast augmentation? 305 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 1: Do you happen to be there for one night only 306 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 1: alone looking for someone to split a gorgeous steak with? 307 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,440 Speaker 1: The plastic surgery conventions are harder to spot a real 308 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: richie rich, but know that for the most part, if 309 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:31,119 Speaker 1: they looked taut and tweaked themselves, they probably want to 310 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,520 Speaker 1: taut and tweak you, and they probably have the money 311 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 1: to spend to do it. It's important to remember that 312 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 1: warm weather destinations is also ample time for you to 313 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 1: show your natural beauty, show that body, show that ass, 314 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 1: show them what they're missing, launched in front of their 315 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 1: face so they are drooling on their little feet and 316 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 1: come begging for it. Oh, you're too scared to approach someone, 317 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,880 Speaker 1: bump into them. You see an old old man alone 318 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,959 Speaker 1: on an elevator carrying a briefcase with a stethoscope around 319 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,679 Speaker 1: his neck. Just tell them you feel faint and you 320 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,960 Speaker 1: need them to check you out. It's a perfect intro. 321 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: Doctors are always good to tell as old as time really, 322 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,159 Speaker 1: and chances are a doctor at a plastic surgery convention 323 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:21,240 Speaker 1: is in it to make money. Dear, they're not saving 324 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:27,640 Speaker 1: the kids. Oh, Gallas, another excellent event, always where rich 325 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 1: people go with guilts when they want to feel philanthropic themselves. 326 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: An event to attend to flaunt thirty forty fifty a 327 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:41,240 Speaker 1: hundred K towards some god awful donation. Oh, save the elephants, 328 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 1: Save the sharks. The earth is on fire. A perfect 329 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 1: place to find a man with completely liquid income to 330 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 1: flaunt about. Find the highest bidder and you've found your 331 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,479 Speaker 1: guy there there with a date, truck them alone, right 332 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,919 Speaker 1: down their name and next thing you know, Oh, is 333 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 1: that you I see at the golf club? Is that 334 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 1: you I'm running into at the deli? Why? I had 335 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,880 Speaker 1: no idea you'd be here? Pro tip always make sure 336 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,400 Speaker 1: you do your due diligence on all of these catches. 337 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:14,919 Speaker 1: You never want to write down a name that potentially 338 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,399 Speaker 1: is getting indicted. You never want to write down a 339 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,679 Speaker 1: name that is potentially in debt. You never want to 340 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,120 Speaker 1: write down a name of someone who has filed for bankruptcy. 341 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 1: You only wanted to be clean, a clean catch is 342 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,960 Speaker 1: what we're after. You also want to make sure that 343 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 1: they potentially have a few offshore accounts, and it's important 344 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 1: you get access to those, but that is something we'll 345 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:45,440 Speaker 1: cover in the future. Now that we've discussed in full 346 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,639 Speaker 1: where to seek, where to hunt, where to find your prey, 347 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: it's time that I take some of your questions that 348 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,320 Speaker 1: I know you've been dying to ask. Dear old step 349 00:21:55,400 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 1: mommy from Germany since the pandemic, I'm having a really 350 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 1: hard time committing to anything. I don't want to buy 351 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,119 Speaker 1: a friend, or a steady job, or even a doc 352 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:13,119 Speaker 1: term apartment, anything that ties me down. Fear it's wrong. 353 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 1: And now I'm wondering if I'm just valuing my freedom 354 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:22,080 Speaker 1: the lot after being locked in for SONA, or whether 355 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:28,760 Speaker 1: I'm just scared of commitment. Ah, But maybe my question 356 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 1: is how do I get everything I want without committing 357 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 1: to anything that makes sense? Well? Hello, a vitsn from Germany. 358 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 1: How do I get everything while committing to nothing? Well, 359 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:49,080 Speaker 1: aren't you just aging after my own heart? The only 360 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,200 Speaker 1: thing you need to be committing yourself to is securing 361 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:58,199 Speaker 1: the bag. You need to commit to yourself that the 362 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,600 Speaker 1: only job you're going to have is spending every waking 363 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:04,920 Speaker 1: moment of every waking day finding someone that you can 364 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,800 Speaker 1: take complete advantage of. That way, guess what, You'll never 365 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,119 Speaker 1: have to commit to a nine to five in your life. 366 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 1: You'll have all the freedom in the world, not paying 367 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,200 Speaker 1: for any of it yourself. You'll be able to jet 368 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,640 Speaker 1: off to Abiza, hop on the boat to the say Chells. 369 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: You'll be able to take a romp in New York City, 370 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,679 Speaker 1: a ski and Aspen, a trip to Why. You'll be 371 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,119 Speaker 1: able to go to Iceland and visit York. If you 372 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:33,639 Speaker 1: find someone rich enough, just commit to yourself the life 373 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,920 Speaker 1: that you deserve, a life filled with never ending fountains 374 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,679 Speaker 1: of funds. And I know you can do it, darling. 375 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,080 Speaker 1: Dear Why, there are a lot of richie riches out 376 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,439 Speaker 1: in Germany, and if you just get to trotting along, 377 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 1: I'm sure you can find one who will only make 378 00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 1: you commit to them for a short time, that is, 379 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,280 Speaker 1: until you take everything from them. God speed, dear, and 380 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 1: listen to step mommy step mom, my best friend and 381 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 1: irable about to turn thirty. We love your advice, dudes, 382 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:09,720 Speaker 1: and don't life lessons. We're here for all. Please advise 383 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:14,960 Speaker 1: and thank you well. First and foremost, never tell anyone 384 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,359 Speaker 1: you're about to turn thirty. Jesus Christ, it's like I 385 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,919 Speaker 1: need to start at the very first lesson with you people. 386 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,359 Speaker 1: As far as you're concerned, you will be forever and 387 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 1: always twenty seven years old. I don't care if you're 388 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 1: fifty five and your marinette lines are cracking off of 389 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,880 Speaker 1: your god first taken face. You will always be seven. 390 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: You will always be just out of college adjusting to 391 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 1: your adult life. You will always be young and care free. 392 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 1: And if anybody asks, quite frankly, dear, it's none of 393 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 1: their business. So for starters, you and your friends aren't 394 00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 1: turning thirty. You and your friend are turning again. Now. 395 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,200 Speaker 1: What you and your friends must do is kiss goodbye 396 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,360 Speaker 1: that old, trollopy life you were living before. Now you're 397 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,719 Speaker 1: entering a new time, a new era, a new phase. 398 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,560 Speaker 1: You deserve nothing but the best the world has to offer. 399 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,920 Speaker 1: You deserve that two hundred and eighty dollar tea bone 400 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:14,679 Speaker 1: steak drenched in gold. You deserve that pair of Minola's 401 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 1: you've been dying for ever since you watch Sex in 402 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 1: the City for the first time. You deserve whatever god awful, 403 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 1: opulent thing your heart desires, and the only way that 404 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,639 Speaker 1: you're going to get that is by meeting someone that 405 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: can offer to you. But I would suggests going through 406 00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:32,359 Speaker 1: your rolodex of high school friends, finding someone who you 407 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:36,160 Speaker 1: know is richie rich and hopefully their father is still around, 408 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: and marrying them. Why it's not that hard, dear. A 409 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:44,520 Speaker 1: few years back at home, rekindling old romance with high 410 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,480 Speaker 1: school friends, Daddy isn't the worst it could be. It's 411 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:53,200 Speaker 1: always a good place to start, especially now that we're aging. Now, 412 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: if that seems a bit too uncomfortable, I would advise 413 00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 1: you to start wearing more sunscreen. God, I mean, those 414 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 1: melasma marks are just getting out of control. And oh, please, 415 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 1: please please, that shirt is just when is that from 416 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,800 Speaker 1: two thousand six? You need to revamp your wardrobe, darling, 417 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 1: and please stop eating so much pork. You're starting to 418 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:27,000 Speaker 1: smell like brine. Does be really clear you out? Here's 419 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:30,480 Speaker 1: a little secret from step Mom. You want to really 420 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,439 Speaker 1: get cleared out for a night of a proper bucket. 421 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:37,679 Speaker 1: Wake up in the morning and don't even think about 422 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: touching a glass of water. You pound a black coffee, 423 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 1: and then you pound a V eight. You strap on 424 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,320 Speaker 1: your little chinelle running shoes and you take yourself for 425 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:51,080 Speaker 1: a sprint around the block. That's right, full speed sprint. 426 00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:56,280 Speaker 1: If you don't come back and spray like a fucking geyser. 427 00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:00,680 Speaker 1: And I don't know what will help, but I promise you, 428 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:06,720 Speaker 1: I promise you. That is the step mom, douche, Hey, 429 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,880 Speaker 1: step mom. I'm just wondering if you have any tips 430 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,479 Speaker 1: on looking your best when you have a little seven 431 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:20,399 Speaker 1: month funding around. Oh, a gorgeous mother. You have to 432 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: love a breeder from time to time, now, don't you 433 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 1: now one thing that I was always envious of of 434 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:30,800 Speaker 1: my breeder friends, where they're gorgeous, milking luscious breasts. I 435 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,159 Speaker 1: would suggest squshing those things together in a stunning laperl 436 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:38,520 Speaker 1: lebra and trotting them around town for everyone to see. Remember, 437 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:43,600 Speaker 1: you have gorgeous, gorgeous jugs simply dangling off your body, 438 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: waiting to become your chest butt. Now, dear, if you're 439 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,840 Speaker 1: feeling insecure about your body, please don't I want you 440 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: to roll in the sheets with yourself. Remember what makes 441 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,560 Speaker 1: you tick. Remember that the whole world wants to be 442 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 1: fucking you, but only you are going to be fucking 443 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 1: yourself tonight. So when you put that little baby down 444 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 1: for an app time, or when you do what my 445 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 1: mother did, sit me in front of the television in 446 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,200 Speaker 1: front of a Jane Fondo workout tape. Take some time 447 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:13,399 Speaker 1: to make yourself moan that's right. Take some time to 448 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:17,439 Speaker 1: get back in touch with your vagina. Dear. Remember it 449 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,399 Speaker 1: doesn't just have to crack open for the child. It 450 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,600 Speaker 1: can also split open for the gods of club. So 451 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,479 Speaker 1: I will remind you that you're absolutely stunning and the 452 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:34,280 Speaker 1: whole world can't wait for you to remember that. Hey girl, 453 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,800 Speaker 1: how do I choose between either dating a attorney or 454 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: pretty put together kind of legal drug dealer? M hm? 455 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 1: A classic conundrum. Really, now, I want you to do 456 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,920 Speaker 1: something that not all of us do and actually take 457 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 1: a moment to consider the assets here. What are they 458 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 1: each making annually? A semi legal drug dealer could be 459 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 1: racking in a lot, but I would suggest you to 460 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: run for the hills if it is not an organic 461 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:07,720 Speaker 1: drug such as marijuana or potentially psilocybin mushrooms. Anything else 462 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 1: will simply implicate you and potentially send you to jail 463 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,760 Speaker 1: for a long time, and well, we don't want that. 464 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,560 Speaker 1: So I need you to consider how legal. It is 465 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 1: exactly now. Both have the opportunity for a lot of 466 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,479 Speaker 1: financial gain, and in some ways drugs have more of 467 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 1: that than being an attorney. What kind of attorney is he? 468 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:28,280 Speaker 1: If he's doing something so stupid as representing I don't know, 469 00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 1: the public, then maybe the drug dealer is better. But 470 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 1: if he is smart and representing of course completely corrupt 471 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,000 Speaker 1: companies and people, then you have a shot of living 472 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 1: the life of luxury. I know it is you're seeking. Now, 473 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 1: please be cautious in this drug dealer world. I would 474 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 1: hate to see you get swept up on a stunning 475 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,600 Speaker 1: sailboat trafficking some gorgeous, gorgeous drugs from how do to't 476 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 1: know Portugal to same parts. That would be a true shame. Oh. 477 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 1: I do applaud you though on your taste in men. 478 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: It sounds like you really know what you're doing and 479 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 1: not fucking around. Well, what a gorgeous episode of step 480 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,040 Speaker 1: Mom it was today. I hope you enjoyed episode one 481 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,960 Speaker 1: of the husband hunt. I hope that you'll remember that 482 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,160 Speaker 1: now is the time we start to seek. Now is 483 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 1: the time we go out into the wild and try 484 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,920 Speaker 1: and find our precious prey. Now is the time we 485 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 1: break those nasty old habits, such as sleeping around with 486 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 1: you know who and you know where. Now is the 487 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:32,280 Speaker 1: time we say goodbye to all of that shitty fabric 488 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:36,640 Speaker 1: and all of those stinky apartments, and hello to places 489 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 1: like the carlysle and the Upper east Side. Now is 490 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,120 Speaker 1: the time you get comfortable with the fact that maybe 491 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 1: your future isn't in Greenwich Village, but in Greenwich, Connecticut. 492 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,240 Speaker 1: Maybe now is the time we go out of our 493 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 1: comfort zones and start attending events for big people adults. 494 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,880 Speaker 1: When we seek, when we go out into the field, 495 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 1: when we go hunt ing, we must be prepared to 496 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:06,520 Speaker 1: turn into a kind of animal we are not comfortable with. Yet, 497 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,720 Speaker 1: I promise you, DearS, it's worth it. Once you adjust, 498 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: once you see, you'll see all of the wealth round you. 499 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 1: It's just waiting for you to come in and grab 500 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,840 Speaker 1: It's right there in front of you. Dear, don't be 501 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:25,600 Speaker 1: a fool until next time. It's me, your stepmother. And 502 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,160 Speaker 1: this has been the husband who