WEBVTT - Whine About It: Good Vibrations 0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:05.399 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:09.479 On today's Whine About It Thursday Therapy, we have Karen 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:15.239 Iliber and she is a BORED certified urologist and she's 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:19.320 got a BORED certification in female pelvic Medicine and reconstructive 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:21.920 surgery and has over twenty years of experience taking care 0:00:21.960 --> 0:00:22.639 of women. 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:25.800 Most intimate needs. 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:29.040 She's also a professor of urology and I can never 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:32.760 say that word obastrous. She knows as a woman in 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:37.600 gynecology at Cedar Syana Medical Center, so she is full 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:40.280 of knowledge. She also has a book out called A 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:45.280 Woman's Guide to her Pelvic Floor. What the frick fuck 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:46.800 is going on down there? 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:47.320 I love it. 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:51.360 Let's get her on. Hey girl, I'm Jana. Hi Karen, 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:55.720 nice to, welcome to wind Down. I was just I 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:58.320 was reading your breakdown. So I've been obviously going to 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:01.320 the gynecologists, you know, whenever or what started? 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:01.520 What? 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:05.760 When do you just start? Sixteen seventeen eighteen around that time. Yeah, 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:09.600 I still cannot say the first part of that. Ohb's oh, 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.920 oh what obstetrics. 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:15.200 Obstetrics. I'm like, why is that so hard? 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:18.600 Obstetrics That's why everybody says obi guyin. 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:20.680 Yeah obg y N. 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:24.880 That's like, what is even obstrics obstetrics? 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.959 So obstetrics is actually like delivering babies, and then the 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:32.200 guy ecology Like so the obstetrics is the pregnancy and delivering, 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:35.759 and then the guyn ecology is really just anything vagina. 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:40.920 Okay, so you do you do that and the urology. 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:42.119 So I do not deliver babies. 0:01:42.160 --> 0:01:46.720 I'm a urologist and I have subspecialty training in euro gynecology, 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:49.720 so I do like all bladder and vagina surgery, so 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:53.040 like if your bladder is falling, or if you're in continent, 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:55.640 or we take care of a lot of female sexual dysfunction, 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:58.160 So anything in the vaginal area that has nothing to 0:01:58.160 --> 0:01:59.480 do with babies, I will take care of. 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:05.040 What is what female dysfunction? Things are you referring to 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:05.760 when you say that. 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:11.240 So some women can have pain with intercourse because they 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:15.160 have like to their public muscles are too tight. Some 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:18.239 people actually have nerve disorders. Unfortunately, you can have a 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:22.720 very traumatic vaginal delivery that causes nerve damage, but also 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:26.600 hormonal changes like a perimenopause and menopause or surgical changes, 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.880 so there can be a lot of unfortunately causes the 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:30.960 pain and then of course for women. 0:02:32.600 --> 0:02:35.760 So my mom I remember, I'll never forget it because 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:37.400 I went to the doctors with her because she thought 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:39.360 she was pregnant and it was when she was thirty 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:43.600 four years old and she was actually going through menopause, 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:48.480 so she wasn't pregnant and she was Her doctor was like, no, 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:51.760 you're you're in menopause and she's like, I'm thirty four 0:02:51.800 --> 0:02:55.000 years old. So since that, yeah, since that moment, I'm like, 0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:56.880 oh my god, I have to have kids early because 0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:58.480 I'm going to go through menopause at the same time, 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:01.960 because they say that it can be gene. I mean, 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:05.360 obviously I've had kids. I'm now thirty nine, still have 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:07.600 not well I don't know, I'll ask you that, but 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:11.280 you know I've I've had kids. Yeah, I was like 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:14.040 I had my I had my son at thirty five. 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:16.400 But that always like freaked me out, and I'm like, 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:19.280 how how did she get menopause that early? Like is 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:22.519 that is that like is that super rare or like it? 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:23.720 Because I've always wondered that. 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:25.360 I mean, it's not that common. 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:29.799 They used to use the term primary Oberian insufficiency or 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:32.200 bear In failure. Now they like to say primary over 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:34.680 and insufficiency, and some people can actually get it back. 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:37.360 I mean, it could be like an illness, it could 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:39.520 be like a lot of stress. But I have known 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:44.360 women who have literally stopped having periods and then you know, 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:48.119 did meditation other things fix any health. Like like let's 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:49.680 hear a thib raiate is off. That might make your 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:53.160 periods stop. But that happens actually in a very small 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:54.480 small percent of women. 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:56.320 Mm hmm. It's yeah. 0:03:56.360 --> 0:04:01.720 I because it was about it was last winner, I 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:05.840 commpletely skipped my period, and I'm like, that has never happened. 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:08.160 I mean, girl, I am like twenty six days like 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:11.120 on like the mark. The only thing that's changed with 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:15.320 my periods is after I had my second son. It's like, 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:18.840 I'm like, is this normal? How much I bleed? Like 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:22.599 it's it's a lot. Yeah, And I know that's like 0:04:22.760 --> 0:04:26.599 massive TMI. But for the girl's thing, the guys, maybe 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:28.320 this is not like you're or if you want to 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:31.039 have some knowledge, share but this one. But yeah, it 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:33.080 was just like I remember going in going like I'm 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:35.280 kind of scared, Like I think I'm losing too much 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:37.279 blood and she's like, well, this is actually very common 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.760 after kids and you know you're getting older, periods are 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:40.480 changing and. 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:41.560 I'm like, whoa. 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:45.520 But then it was Leah. Last winter, I took a 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:46.920 pregnancy task because I was like, I think I might 0:04:46.960 --> 0:04:49.400 be pregnant because I'm like, I missed my period. 0:04:49.920 --> 0:04:52.440 And then I wasn't. So I called my doctor. 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:54.919 I'm like, it's been like, I mean, I'm on like 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:56.800 day forty I still have not had my Like what 0:04:56.960 --> 0:04:59.360 is going on? And she's like, well, you probably missed. 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:01.920 It's called like a miss period. I'm like, I've never 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:03.480 even heard of that too. I'm like, what is like? 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:05.720 So then we did some blood work, but they didn't 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:07.960 really find anything. So I'm like, is that is that 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:08.760 super common? 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:10.279 Again? 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:14.240 I mean, skipping a period here and there is not uncommon, 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:15.680 especially like stress. 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:16.640 Are you still nursing? 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:19.080 Oh no, my kids are seven and four? 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:23.479 Yeah, I mean it can happen, but yeah, missing a 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:24.320 period here and there is not. 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:25.760 Am I going through menopause? 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:29.600 Probably not? If they checked everything. 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:32.440 Okay, because perry is the beginning of menopause, right, Like, 0:05:32.480 --> 0:05:35.240 aren't we all in perimenopause? When we hit forty I mean, 0:05:35.760 --> 0:05:40.119 statistically speaking, yes probably, but you know, symptoms of perimenopause. 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:41.760 But that's why it's much harder for a four year 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:43.640 old woman to get pregnant than a thirty five year 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:45.919 old woman, you know, because unfortunately we're like on the 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:48.040 downhill five. 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:51.600 But perimenopause typically. 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:54.680 People start having symptoms like you know, difficulties, sleeping, hot flashes. 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:57.600 But the perimenopause can go on for a long time. 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:01.560 So by definition, menopause is when you don't have a 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:04.880 period for twelve consecutive months. So let's say you went 0:06:05.000 --> 0:06:07.680 ten months no period, then you had a period. You're 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:09.479 not actually metopausea yet. 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.080 Hmm, okay, got it. 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:18.200 What for the pelvic area? What is the most what's 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:20.560 the question that women are always kind of embarrassed to 0:06:20.600 --> 0:06:24.599 say or ask about. 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:28.919 Women are really embarrassed to ask that. I mean, like, 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:32.200 is what I look like down there? Normal? And my 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.720 normal size? Is my odor normal? You know? There is? 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:36.960 It's these are things that we. 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:39.560 Don't ever talk about, you know, which is why, like 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:41.760 my colleagues and I wrote this book like a Woman's 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:44.600 Guide to a Pelvic Floor subtitled what the F Is 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:48.200 going on? Down there because we see a lot of 0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:51.760 very educated, smart women who just don't know, and it's 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:54.839 because we've never told them about these things. Right, you 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:57.919 have one health class, maybe somewhere in junior high, and 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:00.760 you learn some very basic things than that you were 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:03.960 on your own, figure out what your birth control options were, right? 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.840 What is a normal period? What I mean, every time 0:07:06.960 --> 0:07:10.040 sex is brought up, it's negative. Either you can get pregnant, right, 0:07:10.120 --> 0:07:12.680 or you can get infection. Sex is never like, oh 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:14.160 maybe you uhoul to do it, you know, so you 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:18.080 can enjoy yourself type of thing, right, So I think 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:21.320 that also, I mean, women are embarrassed to ask a 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:24.200 lot of things, you know, just intimate questions like you know, 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:27.559 is it normal that you know, my orgasm isn't as 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:29.840 good as it was before I had babies, And there's. 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:30.600 All sorts of things. 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:33.040 So I the reason I can't only answer your question 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.600 is probably the question they're the most embarrassed to ask. 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:37.400 They're not asking sure. 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:41.480 Yeah, I think I think the one that I always 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:45.160 get really embarrassed sound is like if it was having 0:07:45.200 --> 0:07:48.200 weird discharge, like even just like saying that, and then yeah, 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:50.440 it comes with it because it's like certain things, like 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:52.320 I used to have a yeast issue, so I'm like 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:55.400 I always get east infections, and like I didn't realize 0:07:55.400 --> 0:07:57.840 it was the soaps that I was sensitive to, the 0:07:57.880 --> 0:07:59.800 soaps that I was using that had like the fragrance 0:07:59.840 --> 0:08:01.320 in it. So I was like, all right, you know, 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:03.600 then I looked into this, but I didn't I was 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:09.000 embarrassed to ask it. So I was googling, like you know, odor, 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:12.080 all these things, and then I saw this one website 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:15.520 where it was like, you know, do boric acid and 0:08:15.720 --> 0:08:19.760 apple something and it had like an actual cleanser. So 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:21.680 I was like, oh, thank god, okay, and so like 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:24.080 I got that, but it was like I was even embarrassed, 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:26.280 and like my doctor, why didn't I trust my doctor 0:08:26.320 --> 0:08:28.280 to like ask that and say that, you know. 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:31.840 It's it's so well because because I think there's a 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:35.240 part of every person that they fear that if they 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.719 ask the question, the doctor looks at you like I've 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:40.760 never heard of that before, right, Like you don't really 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:42.160 want to be like a dinner party you're talking to 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:44.120 your girlfriends, you know, yeah, you know, like when you 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:45.920 call for you laugh and you wet your pants and 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:48.720 you're waiting for him to go yeah, and like nobody 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:52.040 says anything, right, you really don't want to be that girl. 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:54.679 Right, yeah, hmm. 0:08:55.480 --> 0:09:00.960 What is something that in your you know, your studies 0:09:01.000 --> 0:09:02.760 and your years of doing what you do. Is there 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:04.920 something that has stumped you that's go, oh wow. I 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:06.160 don't know the answer to that. 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:11.199 I've been doing it. I'm sure there was along the way. 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:12.760 I've been doing this for like over twenty years, so 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:15.040 there's not a lot of things that I haven't seen. 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:17.240 There is always something that kind of stumps, but those 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:21.480 are very unusual. But I think that people be surprised 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:27.000 at how few things do stump specialists like me, because 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:30.720 I think general urologists, general kind ofcologists, I think, for 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:35.160 the most part, just aren't necessarily interested in this stuff 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:38.320 that my colleagues and I do, and not because they 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:40.120 don't like taking care of women, but you know, it's 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:42.280 more fun to deliver babies and you know, to take 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:46.960 care of discharge per se or also you have to 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:49.160 have specialized training to take care of women if they 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:52.400 have in continence. But it's so satisfying because I can't 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:54.439 tell you, like how many times I've seen a woman 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:57.120 who she just cries out of relief to know that 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:00.320 she's not the only one who's experiencing these things, right. 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:15.080 I saw something in one of the questions, but it 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:18.520 was like, like vibrators, I mean, like, is that a 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:21.800 cause for things that you know can be problematic for 0:10:22.520 --> 0:10:24.280 the pelvic area. 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:27.520 They can be problematic, but they're probably more beneficial. So 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:32.200 I actually recently had a case where it was one 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:34.959 of the section vibrators I think was just too strong 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:38.760 and so and you know, the clitterist has this crazy 0:10:38.800 --> 0:10:41.800 concentration of nerve endings, and I think it was so 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:44.680 strong that like for weeks afterwards she would have symptoms. 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:48.760 So that's pretty unusual. But for the most part, especially if. 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:51.400 You're not sexually active with a partner on a regular basis, 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:53.280 I think it's really good to use a vibrator. So 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:57.360 one of our research projects that we've done has shown 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.720 that regular use of a vibrator, whether a woman used 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:02.880 it to orgasm or not, was beneficial for things like 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:07.400 pell of the pain pain with intercourse incontinence because you're 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:10.800 increasing blood flow to the pelvis when you're aroused. So 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:12.760 if you're not sexually active, then it's good to use 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:14.240 a vibrator on a regular basis. 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:17.560 Oh see something we wouldn't know. 0:11:18.640 --> 0:11:20.920 So when your partners use your rybrary or your bedstand 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:23.520 or your nightstand, you could just say my doctor recommended it. 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:25.880 We love that. 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:28.320 I mean it's like that's so sometimes like you know, 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.440 the glass of wine and like it was doctor recommends it. 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:34.440 I know, I know, you know. 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:38.680 I think that's also when you're asking about what people 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:44.199 are embarrassed about. We just don't really normalize sexuality specifically 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.800 for women. So as a urologist, I take care of 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:48.800 men and women, right, and we talk about viagra all 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:51.160 the time and a rectile dysfunction. It's like it's an 0:11:51.200 --> 0:11:55.199 everyday conversation, but we don't talk about female sexualist function 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:59.240 because you know, traditionally, if a woman enjoys sex, you 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.280 must be something wrong that you must be like some 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:03.640 kind of core or slut or something right. It's not 0:12:03.760 --> 0:12:06.000 just because it could be the equivalent of males enjoying it. 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:09.520 And we really have not paid as much attention as 0:12:09.520 --> 0:12:12.640 we should to female sexual dysfunction. Right, So women who 0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:16.120 have had bad sexual experiences, or they have conditions like 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:19.720 endometriosis that cause pain and they can't enjoy sex and 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.440 no one has helped them with the pain. You know, 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:24.200 it can cause a lot of stress in her life 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:25.719 and also in her relationships. 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:28.640 Yeah, I have a friend that has like a very 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:30.320 like how her I don't know what it is, but 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.160 it's how it's shaped. It's like she has so much 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:36.360 pain when she has sex, so like that that caused 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:38.760 a big issue in her marriage because she didn't want 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:40.680 to have sex. She's like, it hurts, like I don't 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:42.160 want to do it. And then it's like, well, obviously 0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:43.960 that the husband wants to have sex, you know, so 0:12:44.040 --> 0:12:46.959 it's like trying to you know, figure that balance out. 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:51.080 It's like it's it's embarrassing, but it's also like there 0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:57.319 are resources to be okay, right or to get better. 0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:58.120 There are. 0:12:58.240 --> 0:13:02.080 But again back to Woldiam about who I think that 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:03.840 most women wouldn't even know off the top of their 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:08.160 head what doctor to call to discuss her female sexual issues. 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:11.040 You know, that's already embarrassing as it is, and you're 0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:13.319 you know, you're really kind of being a little open 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:16.240 because you're seeking care because it's causing stress in your 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:19.439 relationship and sexes and everything in a relationship. But having 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:22.400 that level of intimacy I think is necessary, you know 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:25.520 for most couples, but it you know, you think about 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:27.920 seeing like a sex therapist, which is more like you'd 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.320 consider like a you know, a psychology or a therapist. 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.040 You don't really realize that there are people who deal 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.720 with the physical causes of pain with intercourse. 0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.240 Mmm mm hmm yeah. 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:39.600 I Uh. 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:43.600 I get some hate because I promoted a vibrator on 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:46.320 my page, but I'm like, I'm all about just self love. Like, yes, 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:47.920 I'm very happy in my relationship and we have a 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:52.520 great sex life, but like also, you know, like it's okay. 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:54.080 Sometimes in the mood for chocolate, sometimes they move for villa, 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:54.800 but they're both. 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:00.440 Eviden. It's like, I'm like, why are like women hating 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:02.360 on me for posting about something that I'm like, I'm 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:04.520 just trying to like give you all a great code 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:05.400 for something. 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:09.640 That like men never masturbate right right never ever? 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:12.520 Nope, they are just perfect little angels. 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.559 But it's like, I'm like that always baffles me that 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:18.080 I'm like, why am I getting hate for something surprising? 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:25.320 And why why would anybody negatively look upon anybody wanting 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:27.720 to promote another woman for feeling good? See, That's what 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:29.640 I'm talking about like, I don't think any man would 0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:33.000 ever discourage another man from masturbating. 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:36.520 Right, I think the piece that like ties into that 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:39.320 is like, you know, I talk about my faith a 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:42.040 lot in God. I'm like, I think my God's okay 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:44.600 with it, you know. So I'm like, it's so it's 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:48.880 like those ones that just live by and I don't 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.360 know the exact like quote or whatever, but I'm like, 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:54.680 for me, I'm just like that's the piece of Christianity 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:57.200 that I'm just like, you know, I think it's okay 0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:59.960 to do that. So I'm like I shouldn't be condemned 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:03.960 one way or the other. And you know, better than 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:04.560 I agree with you. 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:07.640 I didn't realize it was against anyone's religious beliefs, not 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:08.640 to mean. 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:10.920 Yeah, I don't remember because I have like a few 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:13.160 of the people are like, if you're a Christian, like 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:16.080 you shouldn't do that, And I'm like, well, I'm also 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:18.400 having sex before i'm married, so you know what i mean, 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:19.320 Like I'm already screwed. 0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:21.600 So I'm like everything's burned out. 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.640 Yeah, I'm like, I am not a born again I 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:26.119 don't know how Like I'm sorry. 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:27.120 It's just the one piece. 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.760 I like, I can't, but did you just sit around 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:31.200 with your girls and go, oh my gosh, we have 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:34.480 to just write this book to just normalize what it was. 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:39.520 It was honestly just years of hearing my patience say 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.440 you know, I'm so embarrassed say this, or like I 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:44.920 think it's so funny. I'll literally have just finished a 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:46.800 badgeal exam. They're like, you know, I'm embarrassed to say this. 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:48.920 I'm like, I literally just had my head like right 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.120 between your legs. I'm pretty sure, like all walls are down. 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:54.560 You can ask me anything, but you just come to 0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:59.440 realize that very basic things women were really stressing out about, 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:03.520 Like you're just charge right, and like if you just 0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:06.480 understand some basic things, I think you can probably figure 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:08.840 things out on your own, you probably have a lot 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:11.520 less stress in your life. And also just the women 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:14.720 know that whatever problem you have, there probably is a solution, 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:16.400 even though you're embarrassed to ask about it. 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:18.320 Right, is it? 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:19.000 No? 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:21.480 I think pineapples for the penis, But is there a 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:23.280 food for the vagina that's really good? 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:26.600 Isn't that it's like pineapple? Isn't that? 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:28.280 Those are all like myths? 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:30.920 You know? I mean, I think that probably the only 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.640 thing you really could do potentially is if you drank 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:35.520 lots and lots of fluid to delute things out. But 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:38.800 there is nothing that's consistently gonna make things taste better, 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.680 except for if you use like a flavored you know, 0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:45.480 lubricin or something. But I mean, realistically, like nobody really 0:16:45.480 --> 0:16:47.920 tastes good anywhere, Like even if you like suck on 0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:49.400 your arm, it doesn't taste good. 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:53.120 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:55.200 But it's so funny though that you say that about 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:58.400 the asking questions, because I'm like, yeah, like even the 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:00.720 other day I was at my Gaino's and when they're 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:03.640 like and scoot down, and I'm like, okay, Like you know. 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:05.320 It's just like it's I don't know why. 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:08.480 What we really should say is move down so far 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:11.000 that you feel as embarrassed as possible and you're in 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:11.600 the right posision. 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:14.240 Yeah, one thousand percent. 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:18.440 Is there something in the book where you guys, because 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:20.400 it's you and your is it two friends. 0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:21.159 Two of my colleagues? 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:22.560 Yeah, the two of your colleagues. 0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:24.800 Okay, I love that, And did you guys kind of 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:27.239 have like a piece where like I'm more knowledgeable in 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:28.520 this area or. 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:30.720 It was just like a real group effort. 0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:32.320 I don't know if it's more. 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:35.280 I think we're probably equally knowledgeable, but everybody definitely has 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:37.960 their own interests. So like one of my colleagues, she 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:40.760 does transgender surgery, so she wanted to write that chapter. 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:44.600 And you know, I'm very interested in like female sexuals function, 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:46.000 so I wrote that chapter. 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:48.080 But interested in what and female. 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:52.520 Fe male sexual function and what is that? So like just. 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:57.800 How you're like if you have normal sexuality. So female 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:01.320 sexual dysfunction, whether it's because as of lack of desire 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:04.960 or inability, if you're buy to respond normally pain with intercourse. 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:09.199 A female sexual dysfunction is defined as if it is 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:11.400 actually causing distress. 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:11.399 In your life. 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:15.160 So let's say that a woman is, you know, seventy five, 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:18.760 she's widowed, she has no desire, but she's not bothered 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:19.040 by it. 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:20.520 That's not a dysfunction. 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:23.920 But let's say you're thirty five and you don't understand 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:25.960 you've totally lost your sex drive. It is putting a 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:28.320 lot of stress on you and your partner. That is 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:29.200 definitely a dysfunction. 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:32.480 Okay, got it. That's so interesting. 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:36.640 Well, The other interesting thing is, you know, I think 0:18:36.680 --> 0:18:39.040 we attribute a lot of things to hormones that have 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:41.280 nothing to do with it, and we don't appreciate what 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:44.000 hormones can do, you know, half the time. So like 0:18:44.520 --> 0:18:48.080 when I'm mad at you, it's not necessarily because it's 0:18:48.119 --> 0:18:49.000 that time of the month. 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:51.320 Maybe you're just really being a jerk. 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:54.800 All right, maybe I'm just actually really angry you have. 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:58.399 Having said that, though it always does usually land at 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:03.080 the week I hear that, it drives me mad because 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:05.320 and then I hide my period. I used to hide 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:08.520