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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 2: So this episode is very timely Q and A because

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Speaker 2: we're about to have a big Q and I real,

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Speaker 2: Yeah we are well Bert if our marriage is legal.

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Speaker 1: The Green celt.

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Speaker 2: I've actually never been I was. I have not been

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Speaker 2: nervous about it at all. I have not been nervous

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Speaker 2: about this upcoming Green card meeting, but I've I keep

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Speaker 2: having two things kind of freaked me out a little bit.

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Speaker 2: So when I went to go get my nails send

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Speaker 2: my sweet my sweet lady Sylvia was saying, how we

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Speaker 2: have to know the exact information and then you have

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Speaker 2: to know. The other day Alan walked in, he goes,

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Speaker 2: but you got to send me a family photo. So

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Speaker 2: he's going through the family photo and apparently you have

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Speaker 2: to name every person in the family photo.

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Speaker 1: You not necessarily, No, it depends who you get us.

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Speaker 1: Like every part of life, it depends who you've got

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Speaker 1: in front of you and who you're dealing with. You

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Speaker 1: could have an absolute I don't know if I can

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Speaker 1: say that well done here an awkward person who hates

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Speaker 1: the job. Because if someone that's pleasant and actually sees

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Speaker 1: you for who you are and like, okay, let's get

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Speaker 1: through this. But it depends who we get in the day.

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Speaker 1: Could that the lawyer said, we could be in and

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Speaker 1: out in twenty minutes or it could be forty five

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Speaker 1: fifty minutes.

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Speaker 2: But the thing is is, if you're having to go

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Speaker 2: through this family photo, he was like all right, and

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Speaker 2: then I'm like, okay, this is my cousin and You're like,

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Speaker 2: oh shoot shoot shoot shoot uh And I'm like jeszz

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Speaker 2: Like I was like, and their kids' names are and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, this is crazy. So last night we were

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Speaker 2: talking about this and I'm like, this just seems so

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Speaker 2: archaic that we have to prove that our marriage is legal.

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Speaker 1: It seems so what archaic what that means like old?

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Speaker 1: Oh right, okay, good what babe?

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Speaker 2: Thank you. I don't know if I used it correctly,

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Speaker 2: but thank you. It's just it feels so old school

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Speaker 2: where it's like we have to actually do this, like

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Speaker 2: we have a kid, we're married.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't mark. So many people do it for the

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Speaker 1: wrong reason.

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Speaker 2: Well, I know my nail girl did. She was saying

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Speaker 2: She's like yeah, she was saying that they before she

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Speaker 2: had gotten married. That's which you know she did to

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Speaker 2: get in here. And so she was telling me and

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Speaker 2: she's like, yeah, you have to know this news from that,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, well, I don't remember the first

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Speaker 2: day that we met. I don't. I'm like, I'm supposed

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Speaker 2: to know that. So I come home yesterday I'm like, Babe,

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Speaker 2: we need to get our answers aligned.

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Speaker 1: We need to know. But at some little person who's

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Speaker 1: of you in this frigging cut.

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Speaker 2: Nothing to hate, I know, But this is the thing

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Speaker 2: where I go two sides. I am I. When I

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Speaker 2: want someone to like me, I go overboard. So I'm

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Speaker 2: already walking in wanted to be like, like I baked

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Speaker 2: the bread.

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Speaker 1: There's a nineteen nine percent chance you get this.

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Speaker 2: Well, I know. And that's the thing. If they just

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Speaker 2: stare at me, I my mission in life. This is

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Speaker 2: like this is maybe this is a toxic trait. I

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Speaker 2: don't know, but when I used to be on stage,

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Speaker 2: there'd be a person that was just staring at me.

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Speaker 2: And normally it's the person that ends up being like

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Speaker 2: your biggest fan, but they'll just stare at you, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like this person and the entire show, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: this person hates me, and that's all I can think

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Speaker 2: about during my show, this person's staring at me, mean

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Speaker 2: mugging me. They hate me so much, they don't want

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Speaker 2: to be here. They got drag shared by their best

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Speaker 2: friend who's right next to them. Like this is my

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Speaker 2: inner dialogue. Right when I'm at a show and someone

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Speaker 2: just stares at me, I think all this stuff, and

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Speaker 2: so I then try so hard to like make this

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Speaker 2: person smile, laugh right, like have some sort of like

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Speaker 2: I won, like I won them over, you know. So

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Speaker 2: this is how I feel like I'm gonna be with

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Speaker 2: this interviewer. Like I feel like we're going to get

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Speaker 2: the guy from the Proposal with Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Block,

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Speaker 2: and I'm just going to try to like make him

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Speaker 2: smile and make a joke. I kind of wanted to

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Speaker 2: start the IMMA the meeting off being like I aren't

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Speaker 2: he forced me here, which I don't think is going

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Speaker 2: to go well. So I feel like I'm We're either

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Speaker 2: going to end up I'm going to end up in jail,

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Speaker 2: or like our marriage is going to be like what

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Speaker 2: happens if they don't believe us?

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Speaker 1: Babe, You've got to You've got to recognize the type

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Speaker 1: of people who go into this room. Think about all

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Speaker 1: that cool countries in all the world where people are

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Speaker 1: trying to get in out of good intent, the people

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Speaker 1: who are trying to go in without that good intent

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Speaker 1: and the lying about the marriage. But you're talking about

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Speaker 1: people in situations, in couples and fake couples from all

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Speaker 1: countries and all walks of life.

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Speaker 2: Well, your lawyer said, apparently a lot of people lie, right, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Those people that there's people that get married just to

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Speaker 1: get a green card. But I don't think we need

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Speaker 1: to go on and you need to worry about winning

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Speaker 1: someone over or like, loo.

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Speaker 2: Good, did you marry me just to get a green card?

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Speaker 1: Be serious? I agree a green card through Chicago. They

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Speaker 1: have been a professional coach.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm really glad that we're doing a Q and

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Speaker 2: A episode so we are aligned in our answers because

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Speaker 2: come Thursday we need to be in Unison.

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Speaker 1: It's funny because you go to the place of if

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Speaker 1: someone stay on that year, like you want to win

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Speaker 1: them over, whereas I'm like, okay, stay on that you've

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Speaker 1: got a problem. As I go the opposite way. But

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Speaker 1: I've learned with these people when it comes to the

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Speaker 1: government that they're overworked they're overrun, and they're probably underpaid,

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Speaker 1: and they're just trying to get one couple in the

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Speaker 1: door and one out one and one out, one and one.

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Speaker 2: Out, and they probably cannot stand people like me that

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Speaker 2: are trying to make them laugh. And I'm sure do Joe.

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Speaker 1: Listen if there's a guy who's going to love the

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Speaker 1: fact that you've.

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Speaker 2: Walked in not really Yeah, nope.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, ce Andy, let's get it started. What's one habit?

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Speaker 2: Well, this is like, this is like our immigration lawyer

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Speaker 2: or the immigration guy. I mean, these are like we

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Speaker 2: had to take this serious, babe, go ahead, Sorry.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what's one habit you do that helps to keep

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Speaker 1: your connection strong when you're busy or a part you're

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Speaker 1: going to answer this as a podcast mostly you're going

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Speaker 1: to answer it is the I of you.

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Speaker 2: I would be like, oh, honey, you know you know

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Speaker 2: what now.

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Speaker 1: Habit that helps you strong and more busier.

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Speaker 2: So we've been doing this thing, and I don't know

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Speaker 2: if you've noticed.

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Speaker 1: But if I've noticed, we've been doing a thing. And

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I've noticed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if you've intentionally noticed what I've been doing enlightened me.

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Speaker 2: So I like we've been busy, We've got a lot

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Speaker 2: going on or very tired with everything in the sports

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Speaker 2: and the kids in Roman especially especially and uh, I've

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Speaker 2: noticed some nights that were on our phones and scrolling

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Speaker 2: and doing that, and we've kind of just been watching

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Speaker 2: shows mindlessly where the last it's not obviously every night,

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Speaker 2: but it's been about like one night a week where

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Speaker 2: we just I just start asking you questions, and to me,

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Speaker 2: that has helped. Are you laughing?

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Speaker 1: This is just funny?

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Speaker 2: Why I love you?

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Speaker 1: Is this funny?

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Speaker 2: I love connecting with you. And sometimes I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: don't know how his family's doing. I don't know what's

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Speaker 2: been going on with you, or if you got to

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Speaker 2: have a new client or you know what I'm saying though,

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Speaker 2: Like and so it's like, hey, have you talked to

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Speaker 2: your mom or your dad? Or how how was how's

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Speaker 2: your brother doing? Or you know, how is this happy?

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Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. And so just having for me, keeping

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Speaker 2: connection together is just talking to you and asking you,

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Speaker 2: how are you? What's been going on? And I've been

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Speaker 2: trying to make sure we have at least once a

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Speaker 2: week or we're just no distractions, no phones, no TV,

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Speaker 2: and we're just talking because after even last night, when

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Speaker 2: we did it last night, I felt so much more

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Speaker 2: connected to you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Have you liked that? Have you done I wasn't trying

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Speaker 2: to get a pad in the back.

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Speaker 1: But that's good. I liked that and I actually noticed it.

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Speaker 2: Do you like it? Do you feel more connected afterwards?

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Speaker 2: That's good? What about you?

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Speaker 1: I think we've been good on date nights recently. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think with a lot of that type of thing together.

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Speaker 1: I think we're good at I think we're good at

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Speaker 1: checking them through the day. Yeah, okay, nothing nothing planned

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Speaker 1: strategically your evening.

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Speaker 2: I just liked it. My husband and I've been married

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Speaker 2: for two years and we are complete opposites when it

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Speaker 2: comes to our love languages. How should we go about

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Speaker 2: meeting each other's needs so we both know what we

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Speaker 2: need and feel loved?

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Speaker 1: Do they think they know each of those love languages?

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Speaker 2: Well, I think it's important to know that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they might not even know it, Like I know that.

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Speaker 1: I you love me organizing things or helping out or

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Speaker 1: being off the cuff with like inviting you to date night.

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Speaker 1: So doing things that help get stuff done. But you

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Speaker 1: don't need to ask. I'm not saying yeah, definitely. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think my my love language has changed. So I

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Speaker 1: used to really be touch in words of affirmation, which

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Speaker 1: I still love, but I acts of sera was at

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Speaker 1: my lowest and now it's it's.

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Speaker 2: Creeping up to the top. Why do you think that

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Speaker 2: as I just need help, I'm overworked, I'm over just

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Speaker 2: like my brain spins. I just I need help and

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Speaker 2: that I feel love when I have that help.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well hopefully they're a good job.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think it's important to figure out obviously,

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Speaker 2: you know, when it comes to it, you know, it

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Speaker 2: might not be the like, what do you think your

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Speaker 2: top one.

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Speaker 1: Is my love language is? Yeah? I thought no.

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Speaker 2: Well, so the only way that I will be able

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Speaker 2: to meet you there is if you know what that

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Speaker 2: is so I can love you. You know, like if

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Speaker 2: someone's is gifts, which is like my my absolute lowest.

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Speaker 2: I do not care about gifts. That does not show

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Speaker 2: me love at all. But you could buy me gifts

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Speaker 2: all the time and be like, well don't you love it.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, well, yeah, but that's not how. That doesn't

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Speaker 2: speak love to me. So but if that's yours, then

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Speaker 2: I would need to know that's how you receive love,

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Speaker 2: so you should do the g.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll there.

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Speaker 2: Does Mike ever get mad that Alan has more time with.

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Speaker 1: The kids, Oh no, he asked Mike. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think if he wanted it more time, he could

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Speaker 2: ask for it.

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Speaker 1: But I think he knows that you would be open

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Speaker 1: to them.

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Speaker 2: So it's still seventy thirty.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I don't. I don't think. I don't think

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Speaker 1: he actually does get mud.

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Speaker 2: No, I think he's happy and listen. I always think

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Speaker 2: it's good to talk to the co parent too. You know,

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Speaker 2: there's times when it's hey, can you keep them this Sunday?

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Speaker 2: And having that communication, which I think is important when

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Speaker 2: you're co parenting with with someone else, you know. But

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Speaker 2: there hasn't been a fight over the time or that

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Speaker 2: you have more time. I think it he doesn't love

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Speaker 2: that fact, but that you have him more.

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Speaker 1: But I don't think any father does.

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Speaker 2: There also isn't a never there's never been a fight

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Speaker 2: for fifty to fifty.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like hosting this podcast together has brought

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Speaker 1: you closer? Of course, more fights. I think it's brought

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Speaker 1: us closer. I think it highlights certain things. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: we then sometimes we'll discuss after the podcast. I mean

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Speaker 1: there's been times where leads to the next question. You

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Speaker 1: ever recorded an episode right after a big fight? How

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Speaker 1: did that go? I think that's Sometimes we've recorded an

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Speaker 1: episode on the back of a debate or a disagreement,

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Speaker 1: which is that which has then been tough? Has it

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Speaker 1: bought Has it brought us closer? I think it probably has.

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Speaker 1: But those things where it kind of it doesn't push

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Speaker 1: each other away from like like there there, You're like

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Speaker 1: more energy, more energy, quicker, whereas I'm not like that.

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Speaker 1: I'm yeah, you asked me a question. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: think about it properly. Yeah, before I answer, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: stop clicking your fingers, stop rushing me. It's not how

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Speaker 1: I operate.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I don't think this is a forever thing.

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Speaker 2: Like I think this is we're doing it right now,

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Speaker 2: you know, because we enjoy doing it. But I think,

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Speaker 2: you know, this is we're letting a piece of our

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Speaker 2: life out there. But I don't think this is I mean,

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Speaker 2: wind Down has been, you know, my show for seven

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Speaker 2: plus years. I mean, the girls this has been just

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Speaker 2: a little fun thing to bring in. But I don't

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Speaker 2: think it's It hasn't helped or hurt. But I don't

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Speaker 2: think it's I don't think it's your world. If that

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Speaker 2: makes sense, it's not.

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Speaker 1: Well, no, it depends alviously what I'm talking about as well,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm a really private person. Just to go to

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Speaker 1: some of.

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Speaker 2: These having a podcast, it's just probably not.

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Speaker 1: No, that's different because you're can have a podcast on

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Speaker 1: when you're a viewing people a bit certain things. You

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Speaker 1: can have a podcast on strikers or football or sport.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's true. No, but I'm just saying like,

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Speaker 2: that's not that's something that my wine, like my wind

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Speaker 2: down listeners don't want to hear about.

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Speaker 1: So it's you know, well, let me ask you this.

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Speaker 1: Do you look forward to us podcasting together.

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Speaker 2: I enjoy podcasting with you, But again I don't think

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Speaker 2: it's like our it doesn't. I enjoy it, but it's not.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's something that's a lot more natural for you

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Speaker 1: than it is for me. Like, especially when we're discussing

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Speaker 1: personal things, it becomes really difficult for me. But when

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Speaker 1: you're interviewing someone or discussing a subject, then it's it's

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Speaker 1: a lot easier for me than I have an opinion

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Speaker 1: on I don't have to worry about privacy and stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: if you had to rate your partners fluting skills, and

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Speaker 1: I want to tend scale, what would you give them?

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Speaker 1: Is their fluttering getting worse since being together? I think

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Speaker 1: I think as you grow together, your fluttering becomes more direct.

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Speaker 1: The can what you want.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm. I get sad for like the art of that,

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Speaker 2: that the art of flirting goes away when you're in

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Speaker 2: a marriage.

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Speaker 1: I don't think flopping it. I don't flink, I don't flink.

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Speaker 1: I don't flink. I don't think it's right away for us.

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Speaker 2: No, I mean, I still think it's there for us.

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Speaker 2: But I think in a lot of marriages that piece

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Speaker 2: kind of goes away. And I think there's something and

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Speaker 2: I think we do actually a good job of it.

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Speaker 2: But I love that because it gives you that the butterfly.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I just I think it's a it's

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Speaker 2: something to you know, be reminded of that. But we

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Speaker 2: all loved in the beginning of dating, right and following

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Speaker 2: in excitement, and I think it's what this is surprise

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Speaker 2: dates or this that and the other. Just how you

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Speaker 2: you know, a text message something kind of out of

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Speaker 2: the blue, can ignite a spark that might help, you know,

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Speaker 2: a marriage that is feeling. Don't not us though.

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Speaker 1: I think No. I think we did a good job

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Speaker 1: of it, and it's not easy with heads everywhere.

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Speaker 2: Do either of you still get flirty d ms from

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Speaker 2: the opposite sex?

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Speaker 1: No, lies, I actually don't. No, No, not at all.

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Speaker 1: I think that's one thing of it has been so

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Speaker 1: public as people know the situation, don't they.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but I've also known people to not care about that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but no, I have not of you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll get, I'll get. I get a lot of

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Speaker 2: feet ones, which is very disturbing. Yeah, like sexy feet.

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Speaker 2: Anytime I ever show my feet, I get the gross

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Speaker 2: d MS about show me your feet, sexy feet, like

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Speaker 2: I want to I want to suck your feet, And

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Speaker 2: I'm like.

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Speaker 1: Ah, I want to suck your feet.

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Speaker 2: You get I do not tax dms. Yeah, it's very weird.

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Speaker 2: People have like a foot fetish.

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Speaker 1: You feel nice.

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Speaker 2: Thanks, But I've never gotten anything else besides that, because

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Speaker 2: again we're obviously people can tell himmo and married happily.

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Speaker 2: Has there ever been a time you hit something on

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Speaker 2: your phone from each other?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Last night?

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Speaker 2: Oh god, Alan, it's so cross you cannot No.

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Speaker 1: Nothing saidise though, but like I wanted to show you

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Speaker 1: that last night and that you can't do that. That's

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Speaker 1: your wife.

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Speaker 2: Would you like to explain because people don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to explain. No, let's just say I've

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Speaker 1: had a really sot tummy lately the last three days.

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Speaker 2: Why do men feel the need to take a picture

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Speaker 2: of their poop?

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Speaker 1: Why did you just going disclose what it was my.

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Speaker 2: I just I didn't say that's what it was, but

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Speaker 2: thank you for I'm just curious and did you chat you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's kind of a handling that a chat GPT.

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Speaker 2: Listen, I my phone is an open book always having

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Speaker 2: said that, I don't know if I want you to

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Speaker 2: see my CHATCHEPT. So I think that is the I

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Speaker 2: think that's the moral of the story because there are

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Speaker 2: things in my chat Gebut for example, like last night,

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Speaker 2: while you were stressing about the I don't know, I

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Speaker 2: didn't see it. What happened in that photo I was

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Speaker 2: chat gbting I had these like three little bites on

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Speaker 2: my leg after I did my testosterone shot, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: am I having allergic reaction? And then it was like

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Speaker 2: you could be here are the things would you like

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Speaker 2: me to disclose it? I was like, yes please, and

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Speaker 2: they're like, all right, if your throat starts to close up,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I think my throat's closing up. What do

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Speaker 2: I do now? And so I'm like asking chatchept all

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Speaker 2: these questions where it's like you would look at my

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Speaker 2: phone and be like you are the biggest hypochondriac ever.

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Speaker 2: So I will gladly show you any message in my phone,

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Speaker 2: but I do not want you to see my chat GPT.

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Speaker 1: Likewise, I wanted to see my chat GPT from last night,

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Speaker 1: but there's nothing. You can see everything else my chat.

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Speaker 1: My chat et is like strike a psychology. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't look at last night.

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Speaker 2: What a world?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Is there something you shared on this podcast you'd

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Speaker 1: wish you'd never shared?

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Speaker 2: Every day of my life? I'm kidding. I mean there's

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Speaker 2: many things I wish I didn't share on Yeah. I

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Speaker 2: mean many things this podcast have you because I feel

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Speaker 2: like you got a little Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think the I think probably the And this is

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Speaker 1: where my honesty comes into Thames and that too, because

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Speaker 1: I feel I feel that it was a positive thing

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Speaker 1: that I don't and the master pay and made a

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Speaker 1: bricking headline, So yeah, I had never shared that.

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Speaker 2: Why because it's just not.

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Speaker 1: A headline I want associated with a professional striker coach

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Speaker 1: on Google.

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Speaker 2: But that shows that you're an honorable It.

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Speaker 1: Does, but it's also man absolutely does, which is why

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Speaker 1: I had the reaction that I had. But it was

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Speaker 1: when you were scared about what I was going to think.

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, be a lot worse. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: I'm also like, yeah, I probably wish it wasn't out there,

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Speaker 1: But then again, I'm not completely embarrassed by it or

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Speaker 1: and I own it that it was the truth, and

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Speaker 1: there's nothing that onely thing I can say is it

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Speaker 1: could have been a lot worse. Yeah, and I think

390
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Speaker 1: I could have been the opposite way.

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Speaker 2: There's many times where it's you see a headline and

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Speaker 2: you're just like why, But again, you want to be honest,

393
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,959
Speaker 2: you want to share, and sometimes the cost of sharing

394
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Speaker 2: they pick up the most ridiculous things, like I didn't

395
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Speaker 2: want them to pick up they picked up some story

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Speaker 2: that I I mean, I mean, uh plenty, but I'm

397
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Speaker 2: just like, why, I don't want everyone knowing that I

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00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 2: just wanted to share with my wine down listeners, not

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Speaker 2: everybody on us weekly or tmzer people.

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Speaker 1: That's so, what do we live in?

401
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 2: This isn't fair. But there's that.

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00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 1: So apart from that one. Now there's nothing that I've

403
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Speaker 1: regretted sharing on here. That's good. Okay, So.

404
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,159
Speaker 2: Let's see if we're back next week, if our marriage

405
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:26,800
Speaker 2: is legit or not.

406
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Speaker 1: I'm still in the country.

407
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:30,959
Speaker 2: Well, god, what they did for you.

408
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 1: Oh they wouldn't topport me. I've got my work authorization,

409
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 1: my travel authorization. There's no reason for them not to play. Okay,

410
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 1: box ticked on you go, Like in the old administration,

411
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Speaker 1: they wouldn't even have interviewed this.

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00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,320
Speaker 2: Well anyways, Yeah.

413
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 1: But whatever. I'm not getting into politics because I don't

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00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:50,800
Speaker 1: know enough around that.

415
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 2: I know. You just asked me the other day what

416
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 2: left wing and right wing? Was?

417
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did, because I have zero interest in politics

418
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 1: and I don't know.

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Speaker 2: And he said, and what are the left believing? We're

420
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 2: the right believe in? And you go, and what do

421
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 2: we and you go. The cutest thing was and what

422
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 2: do we believe in? And I was like, right in

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Speaker 2: the middle, baby, like Smike buying on the fence. H