WEBVTT - Jana Kramer Confessions

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<v Speaker 1>This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Chris Harrison Company from the home office in Austin, Texas,

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<v Speaker 1>excited about the show. Today, we have a return guest

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<v Speaker 1>because well, her life has changed so much it basically

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<v Speaker 1>made the last interview we did completely obsolete talking about

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<v Speaker 1>Jana Kramer, country music singer, author, podcaster, mother now about

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<v Speaker 1>to be another mother again. Last time Jana and I talked,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, this is a woman who has been publicly

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<v Speaker 1>so unlucky in love, and we've all learned so much,

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<v Speaker 1>and she's taken us on this journey. Well, last time

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<v Speaker 1>I talked to her, she was about to go red

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<v Speaker 1>carpet official with her new boyfriend, Alan, And I mean

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<v Speaker 1>that night like we were hours away from them stepping

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<v Speaker 1>out on the red carpet and everybody was about to

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<v Speaker 1>find out about this relationship. Well that was only a

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<v Speaker 1>few months ago, and in that timeframe, Jana is pregnant,

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<v Speaker 1>her and Alan are engaged, they have finished a new house,

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<v Speaker 1>he's moving from overseas to join her in Nashville. Her

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<v Speaker 1>life couldn't to say it's done a one point eighty

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<v Speaker 1>would be a gross understatement. So I felt like we

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<v Speaker 1>needed to put a big pen in that last conversation

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<v Speaker 1>because we have so much more to talk about with

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<v Speaker 1>Jana Kramer. And Jana joins me. Now from are you

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<v Speaker 1>in Nashville? You home?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm in Nashville.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, is this the new home?

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<v Speaker 2>This is the new home. This is the house that

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<v Speaker 2>I've been buildin for the last year.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So we talked just a few months ago. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>how life can change. You were about to go red

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<v Speaker 1>carpet official that night with your boyfriend Alan, who knew

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<v Speaker 1>nobody knew about. Now you are engaged, you are pregnant,

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<v Speaker 1>you are living in a new home in Nashville. Holy crap, Jana.

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<v Speaker 2>You know it's about our interview. Is I found out

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<v Speaker 2>the day before that I was pregnant?

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<v Speaker 1>Shut up? You were pregnant in that interview.

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<v Speaker 2>I was pregnant. I had just found out. We obviously

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<v Speaker 2>we were in La. Yeah, we were in LA for that,

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<v Speaker 2>and I just like something felt off right. And then

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, you know, it's a woman's intuition to

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<v Speaker 2>go and you've.

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<v Speaker 1>Done this before.

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<v Speaker 2>The body remembers the body, The body keep score. And

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<v Speaker 2>so I was I went back to my calendar and

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<v Speaker 2>started counting days and was like, oh hmm. I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I might be a day or two off here, but

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not like alarmed yet. But something remember my last pregnancies,

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<v Speaker 2>I had this metallic taste in my mouth and I

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<v Speaker 2>felt that taste again. I go, hey, I think we

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<v Speaker 2>need to go to CBS and get a pregnancy taste.

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<v Speaker 2>And so yeah, the day before the awards, we took

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<v Speaker 2>the test and I was just like, and you could

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<v Speaker 2>just you know, see the very yeah. I was like, okay, like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, very very faint line. But then that's when

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<v Speaker 2>I was even like, you know, my dress got like

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of crap or whatever. But I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>at that point I knew I was pregnant. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to be wearing this probably ever anything

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<v Speaker 2>like ever in my entire life. So I'm like, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going to Like that was kind of my like little

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<v Speaker 2>joke to myself for that.

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<v Speaker 1>What was your reaction? What was his reaction to being pregnant?

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<v Speaker 1>Because I mean, is this something y'all had talked about already?

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<v Speaker 1>Had you planned this at all?

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<v Speaker 2>So it was one of the things where when I

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<v Speaker 2>was dating in previous relationships, I would say really truly

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<v Speaker 2>I'm I'm done, Like, I really don't want any other kids.

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<v Speaker 2>I have two beautiful children. I'm good. And with him,

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<v Speaker 2>he had asked me, he said, do you want another kid?

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<v Speaker 2>And I said, well, you know I've said no, but

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<v Speaker 2>with you, something feels different, like I want want to

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<v Speaker 2>say yes, but that also scares me. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm about to be forty and how does that even look.

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<v Speaker 2>And I've lost so many pregnancies and I've struggled conceiving,

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<v Speaker 2>and so I'm like, if that's something you really want,

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<v Speaker 2>I might not be the right one for you. And

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<v Speaker 2>this is a conversation we had, you know, early on

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<v Speaker 2>just hit me, you know, both us saying like do

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<v Speaker 2>you want kids? Do not? And U And then when

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<v Speaker 2>we really started really talking about and getting more serious,

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<v Speaker 2>I told him, all right, well maybe we should We

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<v Speaker 2>could just try this year and let's not put any

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<v Speaker 2>pressure on it. And you know, once I hit forty,

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<v Speaker 2>it'ull be like, Okay, we tried it, it didn't happen.

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<v Speaker 2>There's no regrets or no like, man, we maybe we

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<v Speaker 2>should have tried when we had the chance. And it

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<v Speaker 2>was the first month trying and I'm like, and again

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<v Speaker 2>for me, because I've had multiple miscarriages. My first instinct was, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to lose it and I really want this

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<v Speaker 2>like that that was the feeling, I know, and that's

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<v Speaker 2>but when you've lost before, it's like that's Unfortunately. What

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<v Speaker 2>came to my mind was no, like, don't, don't. Don't

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<v Speaker 2>give me this beautiful thing and then and then take

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<v Speaker 2>it away. I don't want to. I don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>feel that pain again, especially in this new beautiful situation

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm in, and I don't want to have to

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<v Speaker 2>go through that with him, and I want to be

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<v Speaker 2>able to. So it was it was a very scared.

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<v Speaker 2>But when I was like, I call him up because

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<v Speaker 2>we were staying at his friend's house and I was like, Alan,

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<v Speaker 2>you please come up here, and he's like, is that

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<v Speaker 2>a line, I'm like, I think it is so. And

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<v Speaker 2>then a few days later we got the actual and

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<v Speaker 2>we both got teary eyed and gave each other hugs

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<v Speaker 2>and was like, Okay, that's that's so.

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<v Speaker 1>You were pregnant on that red carpet that day, that is,

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<v Speaker 1>by the way, and he was poker face.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you, I know. I was like, oh god, pers

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<v Speaker 2>if you only knew and what I just would have

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<v Speaker 2>just happened, because that day too, I took another test

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<v Speaker 2>to see if it was still a darker line.

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<v Speaker 1>So, and you guys have gotten engaged. Yeah, have y'all

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<v Speaker 1>talked about getting married? Do you get to try?

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<v Speaker 2>Well?

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<v Speaker 1>How far long are you?

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<v Speaker 2>I've got like seven weeks left?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Well yeah, because I obviously you stood up a

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<v Speaker 1>second ago, and obviously you were very much showing and

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<v Speaker 1>very much pregnant.

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<v Speaker 2>And I've got a bump.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you feeling? How has this been?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean it's been it's been harder. I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>gonna lie. It's definitely more challenging pregnancy. The older you get.

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<v Speaker 2>Things just gravity and uh things things gravity.

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<v Speaker 1>Gravity is undefeated, my friend.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it just things hurt a little bit more. We've

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<v Speaker 2>been working against a fibroid this entire pregnancy too, where

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<v Speaker 2>the first who I had a hemorrhage in the beginning,

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<v Speaker 2>which it was like, okay, fifty to fifty you might miscarry,

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<v Speaker 2>and then now we got this, now the baby has

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<v Speaker 2>to grow bigger than the fibroid. And then so it

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<v Speaker 2>was just we've we've been up against this. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>a few things in this pregnanc scene, but it's he's

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<v Speaker 2>been so amazing because what I hear from the doctor

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<v Speaker 2>is oh, we're going to miscarry, and he's like, that's

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<v Speaker 2>not what she said. She said you can, there's a chance,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's a higher chance, but that you also won't

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<v Speaker 2>you might not too. Yeah, And so he's just been

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<v Speaker 2>very good for my freak out levels of like it's

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<v Speaker 2>going to go it's going to be the worst. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going to go to the worst, and uh, I've just

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<v Speaker 2>never been I mean, he's he's just he's so sweet.

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<v Speaker 2>I obviously this is the third pregnancy now, but he

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<v Speaker 2>has been the most loving and just anything I need

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<v Speaker 2>and like, babe, don't do this, don't care like, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, babe, I'm fine. I'm not like I can

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<v Speaker 2>do it. I'm just pregnant. Like, but it's been it's

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<v Speaker 2>been really sweet. Is he witness and.

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<v Speaker 1>Shelly moved over from Scotland?

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<v Speaker 2>He is, Yeah, so he was in England. He still

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<v Speaker 2>goes back. He's got his son over there, but uh,

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<v Speaker 2>he's still yeah, he travels back and forth, but no,

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<v Speaker 2>he's he's living here. He got his visa and so

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<v Speaker 2>it's and then we're talking wedding next year.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so have the baby and.

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<v Speaker 2>Then yeah, do it. It's not and we just want

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<v Speaker 2>to do something super small, like it would just be

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<v Speaker 2>like very small with the kids and close family and friends.

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<v Speaker 1>Just a little something. I'll walk in, I'll officiate, and

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<v Speaker 1>we'll knock it out.

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<v Speaker 2>Just televised on No I'm not, I can't, I'm not,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not cool, like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Network television show. It's such a beautiful thing, and it is.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you are speaking to a lot of people

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<v Speaker 1>right now who have been touched by having a miscarriage before,

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<v Speaker 1>and how much that weighs on you. The mental emotional

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<v Speaker 1>baggage you carry trying to do it again, that's a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a lot to carry, and it's it's a conversation

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<v Speaker 1>that'll I don't think we have.

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<v Speaker 2>Enough well because you can't really you're not spoke to

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<v Speaker 2>tell people until twelve weeks, right, and so all the

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<v Speaker 2>things that happened before that are when obviously the most

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<v Speaker 2>miscarriages happen. And then after that you just feel kind

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<v Speaker 2>of for me personally after the many that I had,

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<v Speaker 2>it was, well, how can I even call myself a woman?

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<v Speaker 2>Like I can't even keep a baby? It just I

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<v Speaker 2>lose it, And that is where I was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't I where I was hesitant of trying again because

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<v Speaker 2>I just didn't want to have to like go through

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<v Speaker 2>that or feel that again. But yeah, it's I also

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<v Speaker 2>I look at it and go when I was trying

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<v Speaker 2>with my ex, I think there was a reason why

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<v Speaker 2>I lost. I'm not saying the stress and everything. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not saying he caused my miscarriages, but I do think

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<v Speaker 2>stress plays a huge part into loss interesting and it

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<v Speaker 2>can at least. And so I think when I look

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<v Speaker 2>back the struggles that we face and having to do

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<v Speaker 2>IVF and everything else and my body, and I think, again,

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<v Speaker 2>I believe that, you know, there's your stress holds it

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<v Speaker 2>and it affects everything. So for me, you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>kind of look at my life now, I'm like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not carrying all that toxicity and the stress of everything.

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<v Speaker 2>So I think that's why it was a little easier

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<v Speaker 2>this go around. I make up that at least.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, exactly. You have talked to your ex about this.

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<v Speaker 1>What was his take on you being pregnant, you getting

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<v Speaker 1>engaged so quickly and all of this.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, we were just talking about that the other

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<v Speaker 2>day because I think he's going to come on the

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<v Speaker 2>podcast in like a month or so and just kind of,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, talk. And one of the funny stories that

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<v Speaker 2>we have is he he's the one that knew that

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<v Speaker 2>I was pregnant, Like he knew it right away. He goes,

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<v Speaker 2>are you pregnant? Because I did something really that I

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<v Speaker 2>had done in years past being pregnant, and this was

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<v Speaker 2>like early, early, early on, and I wasn't ready to

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<v Speaker 2>just you know, because again I didn't know we were

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<v Speaker 2>the hemorrhage at the point, and I'm like, I just

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<v Speaker 2>I'm probably gonna lose it, and you know, that was

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<v Speaker 2>where my mind frame was, and so yeah, but he

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<v Speaker 2>it's it's gonna be funny to hear him tell that

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<v Speaker 2>story back because he he definitely was the one was like,

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<v Speaker 2>are you pregnant? Because I think I made a sound

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<v Speaker 2>or something that was very similar because I'm trying not

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<v Speaker 2>to puke, right because I was very like sick with

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<v Speaker 2>both with all my pregnancies, and he I said, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not going to answer the question, and he goes, I remember,

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<v Speaker 2>he said, if it's true, I'm really happy for you,

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<v Speaker 2>and I just said thank you. Yeah, So he was

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<v Speaker 2>and he's been he's been very sweet about it, and uh,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, Alan, when he goes out of town and stuff,

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<v Speaker 2>he's like, if you ever need anything, you know, you

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<v Speaker 2>can always call. So oh that's right. Yeah, it's been

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<v Speaker 2>really really really nice. Like he's not gonna the baby's

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<v Speaker 2>not going to call him uncle Mike or anything. But

0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:12.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, yeah, like, but it's it's it's a very

0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:15.680
<v Speaker 2>we've evolved a lot good.

0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:18.800
<v Speaker 1>That's that's a very powerful and very healthy thing as

0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.000
<v Speaker 1>you guys, because you're still co parenting and you will

0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:23.960
<v Speaker 1>continue to co parent for many, many many more years.

0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:26.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think that's the thing that you know,

0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.920
<v Speaker 2>something where we've kind of come to is we've had

0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:33.880
<v Speaker 2>we've done it not right or not not good. The

0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:36.640
<v Speaker 2>last two years. We've had wins, we've had bad times.

0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:40.240
<v Speaker 2>We've let our past triggers on both sides come into

0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:42.280
<v Speaker 2>our conversations. And I think one of the things we've

0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:46.000
<v Speaker 2>realized was we have a new relationship now and it

0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:48.240
<v Speaker 2>has to look different than our old relationship. So how

0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:50.440
<v Speaker 2>I talked to him in years past, how he talked

0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:53.240
<v Speaker 2>to me, how the triggers and everything we have to

0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:55.680
<v Speaker 2>leave that behind because now we do have a new

0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.640
<v Speaker 2>relationship and it's it is a co parenting relationship and

0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:00.640
<v Speaker 2>we have to be in each other's lives for our kids,

0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:04.560
<v Speaker 2>and we both want to, you know, be together at

0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:08.160
<v Speaker 2>certain things and and have you know, the kids see

0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:11.680
<v Speaker 2>us both happy in the same place, will more together.

0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:14.560
<v Speaker 2>And like, I'm like, I just I'm at a place

0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:17.520
<v Speaker 2>where I just don't want any negative energy. I don't

0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:21.320
<v Speaker 2>I even like ex'es and that you know, we're awful.

0:13:21.360 --> 0:13:25.760
<v Speaker 2>I just like I don't. I hope everybody's happy, Like genuinely,

0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.480
<v Speaker 2>I just don't want any negative.

0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:31.840
<v Speaker 1>I read something the other day, someone puts something up

0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:35.000
<v Speaker 1>on Twitter x whatever the hell it is, and basically

0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:37.679
<v Speaker 1>they were saying, you get to an age and it

0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:42.360
<v Speaker 1>does happen around forty, I'm fifty where you want less

0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.600
<v Speaker 1>people in your life, and those people in your life

0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:50.960
<v Speaker 1>have to be value adds only positive less, stress less,

0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:54.640
<v Speaker 1>drama less ever. You know, all that is so true

0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.839
<v Speaker 1>as you get to this point in your life and

0:13:56.880 --> 0:14:01.120
<v Speaker 1>you really do find yourself holding a lot less animosity

0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:04.240
<v Speaker 1>for ex's, for people that have done you wrong. It's

0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:07.400
<v Speaker 1>just it's not you realize, it's just not worth the burden.

0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:11.560
<v Speaker 2>MM hmm. Yeah. And I've you know, I've said sorry

0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:14.360
<v Speaker 2>to the people in my past that if I go okay,

0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:15.920
<v Speaker 2>is there's someone that I need to say sorry to

0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.240
<v Speaker 2>that I that it would bother me if I don't

0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 2>ever apologize to them. So there was two people that

0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:22.800
<v Speaker 2>I reached out to that I was like, I'd like

0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:26.280
<v Speaker 2>to sit with you and apologize, and I don't want

0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:29.160
<v Speaker 2>anything back. I don't wanna I forgive you, I don't

0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:33.320
<v Speaker 2>wanna anything. And was so interesting about that was because

0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:35.120
<v Speaker 2>I genuinely I'm like, I just a'm like and you

0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:37.960
<v Speaker 2>don't even have to like me after you write, and

0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:40.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm not trying to defend. I just want to say

0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:43.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry because I was a total dick when I

0:14:43.400 --> 0:14:46.160
<v Speaker 2>was twenty something to you and it's always sat with

0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:48.760
<v Speaker 2>me bad and again like I'm not asking to be

0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:52.000
<v Speaker 2>your friend or whatever. But it was interesting when I

0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:55.320
<v Speaker 2>did do that too, they were like, well, I'm sorry.

0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:56.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I didn't say I want to sorry, Like no,

0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:58.720
<v Speaker 2>because we all play a part in things. Yeah, that's

0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:00.840
<v Speaker 2>the thing, Like there's not just like my ex isn't

0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:03.080
<v Speaker 2>just a bad person, like I played my part in

0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:05.520
<v Speaker 2>that too. We all play a part so, but can't

0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:08.720
<v Speaker 2>we all also wish everyone happiness and good things, like

0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:11.800
<v Speaker 2>I hope they even the you know, people that have

0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:14.920
<v Speaker 2>hurt me the worst, like go on, and like everyone

0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:18.240
<v Speaker 2>deserves to have like happiness in their life and move

0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:20.800
<v Speaker 2>on and not be defined by what they did five

0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:24.400
<v Speaker 2>years ago or last week or whatever. It's just like

0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:25.600
<v Speaker 2>life is too short. It is.

0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:28.440
<v Speaker 1>I can't your life is too short, and it's equally

0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:31.720
<v Speaker 1>too long to be miserable to be carrying that. And

0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:33.680
<v Speaker 1>people have you know a lot of people have asked

0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:35.960
<v Speaker 1>me when I went through what I went through with

0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:37.920
<v Speaker 1>the show and the network and all that, like are

0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:41.560
<v Speaker 1>you pissed off? Are you mad? I'm not, Like, I

0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:44.920
<v Speaker 1>just it's not worth my time, my energy, my effort.

0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.440
<v Speaker 1>I have so many blessings in my life to be

0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:50.480
<v Speaker 1>grateful for. Were there some bumps and bruises along the

0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:52.440
<v Speaker 1>way and some bad bounces, Yeah, but there were a

0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:55.840
<v Speaker 1>lot of good ones too, and you got to take

0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:58.640
<v Speaker 1>the good with the bad. And and again I wish

0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:03.160
<v Speaker 1>those people, well, let's all move on. Yeah, it's not

0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:07.320
<v Speaker 1>worth me losing a day of sleepover or you know

0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:10.520
<v Speaker 1>that negative energy that I think it really does it

0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:13.720
<v Speaker 1>manifests in so much of your life. What I find

0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:20.000
<v Speaker 1>interesting is this you redefining your relationship with Mike. That's

0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:24.640
<v Speaker 1>a very powerful statement that you thought about it enough

0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:28.040
<v Speaker 1>to realize if we keep going the way we're going,

0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:31.359
<v Speaker 1>it's not going to be good for our kids, our families.

0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:35.880
<v Speaker 1>To redefine it and let everything else go and start

0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.240
<v Speaker 1>anew is easier said than done. That's really powerful.

0:16:39.920 --> 0:16:41.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, and it was hard, and it's still

0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:43.800
<v Speaker 2>there's still moments. I'm not going to be like, oh

0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:45.920
<v Speaker 2>we just how are like? So there's still moments where

0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:48.520
<v Speaker 2>things come up. But I mean I used to when

0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:51.440
<v Speaker 2>he'd caught I would just get the worst triggered feeling,

0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:53.920
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, I got to stop this from me

0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:56.040
<v Speaker 2>because now he's taking joy out of the moment that

0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:58.760
<v Speaker 2>I just had in my day. Like I don't want

0:16:58.840 --> 0:17:02.480
<v Speaker 2>him taking that from you know, from me, And he

0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:05.000
<v Speaker 2>doesn't even mean to be doing that, but that's just

0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:07.320
<v Speaker 2>like from the old triggers of everything. So I think

0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:09.440
<v Speaker 2>it was just really kind of just sitting down and going,

0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:12.520
<v Speaker 2>all right, I got to bury all of that, And yes,

0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:14.800
<v Speaker 2>things will still come up. I still get frustrated, he

0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:17.240
<v Speaker 2>still gets frustrated if he feels like I'm trying to

0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:19.920
<v Speaker 2>control or whatever. But again I just I'm like, okay,

0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.560
<v Speaker 2>I always go what's new relationship? Old relationship? So and

0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:25.280
<v Speaker 2>every time I talk to him like, this is our

0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:28.480
<v Speaker 2>new relationship. You got to act how you want to

0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:29.440
<v Speaker 2>act in this new one.

0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:35.359
<v Speaker 1>Speaking of new relationships, you're going to get married. Lauren

0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:37.080
<v Speaker 1>and I are discussing this, which is why I want

0:17:37.119 --> 0:17:40.240
<v Speaker 1>your opinion. Are you going to change your name? Will

0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:42.840
<v Speaker 1>you hyphenate your name or are you now of the

0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:46.560
<v Speaker 1>age like Lauren is. It's like, no, no, that that's

0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:49.199
<v Speaker 1>an old custom. I'm keeping my name moving on.

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:55.000
<v Speaker 2>So I swore up and down I will never change

0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:58.960
<v Speaker 2>my name again. I've changed it a few times, so

0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:02.120
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I will never do again. Not only

0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:04.960
<v Speaker 2>is it annoying with like the dsas and the airplane

0:18:05.000 --> 0:18:07.120
<v Speaker 2>and stuff like you know, it just there's so much

0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:11.040
<v Speaker 2>paperwork with changing your name. I've never wanted to be

0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:15.680
<v Speaker 2>a Russell more than than anything, Like I I cannot wait.

0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:19.520
<v Speaker 2>I still think it's the thing to do, And you know,

0:18:19.560 --> 0:18:22.600
<v Speaker 2>I would like to be one of my children's last

0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:25.280
<v Speaker 2>names too, you know, like now we'll have a son

0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:28.240
<v Speaker 2>that will be. It kills me that my kids don't

0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:30.159
<v Speaker 2>have we don't share the same last name, but at

0:18:30.240 --> 0:18:33.800
<v Speaker 2>least with you know, our baby, we'll have the baby's

0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:34.600
<v Speaker 2>last name.

0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:40.560
<v Speaker 1>So it will be Jana Kramer Russell or so I mean, I'll.

0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:44.760
<v Speaker 2>Obviously keep Jana Kramer for like the the Wark stuff,

0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:48.680
<v Speaker 2>but I will be Russell with any other thing going forward.

0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:50.679
<v Speaker 2>We were just at it. We went away for like

0:18:50.720 --> 0:18:53.960
<v Speaker 2>a little getaway, and I had it under Kramer, and

0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:56.399
<v Speaker 2>so all weekend he's like, they're like mister Kramer, and

0:18:56.440 --> 0:18:59.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, sorry, then yeah, it's like I promised.

0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:01.520
<v Speaker 1>That's not gonna we get that a lot. Whoever puts

0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:03.600
<v Speaker 1>the card down at you know, down below that you

0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:06.399
<v Speaker 1>pick up the phone, they're like, mister Zima and I'm like, oh, yeah,

0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:07.320
<v Speaker 1>that's a good ring to it.

0:19:08.040 --> 0:19:10.720
<v Speaker 2>Sure, yeah, but no, I think I don't know. I

0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:12.399
<v Speaker 2>just I'm kind of old school in that way. I

0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:16.640
<v Speaker 2>still I still think it's and maybe who knows, maybe

0:19:16.640 --> 0:19:18.919
<v Speaker 2>I can think about the hyphen a little bit. But

0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:20.560
<v Speaker 2>I do like the middle name, so I would never

0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:22.399
<v Speaker 2>want to drop my middle name. I don't know, what

0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:23.680
<v Speaker 2>do you what do you guys leaning towards?

0:19:23.760 --> 0:19:26.080
<v Speaker 1>Well, here's the thing. And what's interesting is obviously you

0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:29.160
<v Speaker 1>were sitting there with child, and I think that has

0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:33.840
<v Speaker 1>such a profound effect on everybody's answer, because you want

0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.680
<v Speaker 1>to share that name with your husband, your child, you're

0:19:36.880 --> 0:19:39.560
<v Speaker 1>and so you know, for us, children will not be

0:19:39.600 --> 0:19:42.040
<v Speaker 1>a part of it. We've made that decision and so

0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:44.640
<v Speaker 1>the name is not that important to us.

0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:47.840
<v Speaker 2>Was that a tough decision to make? No kids? Because

0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:49.639
<v Speaker 2>I know you have your older I do.

0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:52.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we have two and that are in college and

0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:55.280
<v Speaker 1>so twenty two. Just he just turned twenty two the other.

0:19:55.280 --> 0:19:58.680
<v Speaker 2>Day, because she's she's close to my age, right, she's

0:19:58.680 --> 0:19:59.280
<v Speaker 2>a little younger.

0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:01.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and uh yeah, Lauren is and so and my

0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:05.840
<v Speaker 1>daughter's nineteen about to turn twenty so and yeah, Lauren's

0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:08.760
<v Speaker 1>about your age. And so, you know, it's something that

0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:12.520
<v Speaker 1>we definitely talked about right away. It was, you know,

0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:15.320
<v Speaker 1>and I think it's a really important decision and an

0:20:15.359 --> 0:20:18.159
<v Speaker 1>important conversation to have up front, especially when you're this

0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:20.879
<v Speaker 1>age and you don't want to waste somebody's time. You

0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:23.600
<v Speaker 1>start dating, and you have that conversation much earlier than

0:20:23.640 --> 0:20:28.240
<v Speaker 1>you probably should, because you know, if you see yourself

0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:30.840
<v Speaker 1>falling for somebody the last thing I want is five

0:20:30.920 --> 0:20:33.800
<v Speaker 1>years later to be like, oh, we should now talk

0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:36.520
<v Speaker 1>about this after we've just wasted half a decade. So

0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:40.800
<v Speaker 1>it's an important conversation. It was luckily we were both

0:20:40.840 --> 0:20:43.639
<v Speaker 1>on the same page and it was a very easy conversation.

0:20:43.720 --> 0:20:48.520
<v Speaker 1>But you know, there were definitely relationships that weren't that easy.

0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:52.680
<v Speaker 2>Right, Yeah, Okay, Well that's good. I'm happy.

0:20:55.280 --> 0:21:02.119
<v Speaker 1>And it'll it'll remain Lauren's ema, okay saying yeah and uh,

0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:05.440
<v Speaker 1>her exactly. And so much of it, you know, with business,

0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:09.000
<v Speaker 1>as you said, I mean, you're about to publish another book. Yeah,

0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:13.320
<v Speaker 1>and you know, the name on the book, the Instagram,

0:21:13.520 --> 0:21:15.800
<v Speaker 1>the so much of it is already kind of spoken

0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:17.760
<v Speaker 1>for now in our lives. It's tough. It's tough to

0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:18.399
<v Speaker 1>unwind that.

0:21:19.480 --> 0:21:22.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh wind down though, maybe we can wind down and

0:21:22.160 --> 0:21:22.800
<v Speaker 2>talk about it.

0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:37.840
<v Speaker 1>In the book you did, you talked about, uh, you know,

0:21:38.000 --> 0:21:40.520
<v Speaker 1>kind of taking care of your past and dealing with it.

0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:45.240
<v Speaker 1>And one of the things was your ex and how

0:21:45.280 --> 0:21:46.080
<v Speaker 1>he belittled you.

0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:51.840
<v Speaker 2>Which one, which one? Which one? Which name? In the book?

0:21:51.920 --> 0:21:54.000
<v Speaker 1>I always think it's Mike, but maybe I'm not. Maybe

0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:54.639
<v Speaker 1>I was wrong.

0:21:56.440 --> 0:22:01.840
<v Speaker 2>Uh yeah, that and that was uh, you know, I

0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:05.159
<v Speaker 2>think we can all go back and go And I

0:22:05.200 --> 0:22:08.240
<v Speaker 2>know he would say this too, and he's he fights

0:22:08.240 --> 0:22:10.560
<v Speaker 2>with his words. That's something he always did and that

0:22:10.760 --> 0:22:13.200
<v Speaker 2>was where he knew. We always know how to push

0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:17.119
<v Speaker 2>other person's button, right, and that was his that was

0:22:17.160 --> 0:22:21.680
<v Speaker 2>what always hurt the worst. And I'm like, man, I'd

0:22:21.800 --> 0:22:25.480
<v Speaker 2>almost rather take something else than because the words always

0:22:25.920 --> 0:22:29.360
<v Speaker 2>stayed with me. Those are the words anytime anyone ever

0:22:29.400 --> 0:22:31.359
<v Speaker 2>say anything to me, or he'd belittle me, or he

0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:34.760
<v Speaker 2>would say something mean, those are the things that I

0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:39.480
<v Speaker 2>actually kept on like, I carried those words with me.

0:22:39.680 --> 0:22:41.680
<v Speaker 2>So when we got divorced, that was all the work

0:22:41.680 --> 0:22:45.480
<v Speaker 2>I had to do. Post was taking everything he put

0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:49.800
<v Speaker 2>on me and not having it be mine and not

0:22:49.840 --> 0:22:50.280
<v Speaker 2>owning it.

0:22:51.080 --> 0:22:55.000
<v Speaker 1>Was that something that you had before you got married.

0:22:55.119 --> 0:22:57.520
<v Speaker 1>Was that something a part of your relationship was like?

0:22:57.920 --> 0:22:59.800
<v Speaker 1>Was that a red flag? Okay?

0:23:00.080 --> 0:23:03.119
<v Speaker 2>Well, but it was one of the things where and

0:23:03.160 --> 0:23:05.000
<v Speaker 2>this is something where I've said, you know with my

0:23:05.760 --> 0:23:08.080
<v Speaker 2>fiance is I always say that. People always say why

0:23:08.080 --> 0:23:10.359
<v Speaker 2>do you love him? I go, he respects me so much?

0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:13.159
<v Speaker 2>And I had this like light bulb moment and I

0:23:13.200 --> 0:23:16.960
<v Speaker 2>was like, because it's for the first time, I'm demanding respect.

0:23:17.800 --> 0:23:21.040
<v Speaker 2>I never asked for respect, right, So I never had

0:23:21.080 --> 0:23:23.680
<v Speaker 2>respectful men in my life. They were mean, they were abusive,

0:23:23.760 --> 0:23:27.480
<v Speaker 2>they were awful because I didn't think I deserve that

0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:29.680
<v Speaker 2>I was told at a young age.

0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:31.920
<v Speaker 1>And establishing the terms in your relationship.

0:23:32.760 --> 0:23:35.119
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So of course he can talk to me like

0:23:35.160 --> 0:23:37.359
<v Speaker 2>that because I've allowed him to talk to me like that,

0:23:37.880 --> 0:23:40.280
<v Speaker 2>and I believe that what he's saying is true. So

0:23:40.320 --> 0:23:44.040
<v Speaker 2>when he says that I'm x Y and Z, I

0:23:44.080 --> 0:23:47.480
<v Speaker 2>have had those messages told to me before from another

0:23:47.520 --> 0:23:51.640
<v Speaker 2>prior relationship that I believed and carried. So of course

0:23:51.680 --> 0:23:54.320
<v Speaker 2>I believe him and I can't leave him because who

0:23:54.320 --> 0:23:54.800
<v Speaker 2>would want me?

0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:57.760
<v Speaker 1>And now that you have established better and sought out better,

0:23:57.840 --> 0:23:58.879
<v Speaker 1>you have found better.

0:24:00.720 --> 0:24:03.959
<v Speaker 2>Healthy attracts healthy, right, Yeah, so that is that is

0:24:03.960 --> 0:24:04.800
<v Speaker 2>the thing, you know.

0:24:05.000 --> 0:24:07.200
<v Speaker 1>I think it attracts it, But it also if you're

0:24:07.200 --> 0:24:09.440
<v Speaker 1>not ever allowing that in I'm sure maybe you went

0:24:09.480 --> 0:24:12.120
<v Speaker 1>on dates with other people before Alan or while y'all

0:24:12.119 --> 0:24:15.760
<v Speaker 1>were dating whatever that wasn't healthy and you cut it out,

0:24:16.520 --> 0:24:17.040
<v Speaker 1>oh for sure.

0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:19.080
<v Speaker 2>And that's the thing. Even in my book, Yeah, I

0:24:19.119 --> 0:24:21.920
<v Speaker 2>talk about this guy named Seth, and it's like Seth

0:24:22.040 --> 0:24:23.840
<v Speaker 2>is a great person for someone else, but at the

0:24:23.880 --> 0:24:26.520
<v Speaker 2>time I was still so wounded in my own stuff

0:24:26.640 --> 0:24:29.480
<v Speaker 2>that like and but yes, he was the same person

0:24:29.520 --> 0:24:32.159
<v Speaker 2>that wasn't honest. I picked it again, a non honest person,

0:24:32.800 --> 0:24:35.880
<v Speaker 2>which then ignited all my insecurities. And it's like, well,

0:24:35.880 --> 0:24:38.960
<v Speaker 2>of course I'm going to act this way because this

0:24:39.080 --> 0:24:42.560
<v Speaker 2>is you know, this is the same frickin' pattern all

0:24:42.600 --> 0:24:45.800
<v Speaker 2>over again. Like I've done no growth whatsoever, so of

0:24:45.800 --> 0:24:47.080
<v Speaker 2>course I'm picking the same thing.

0:24:47.880 --> 0:24:52.439
<v Speaker 1>That's interesting, and it's fascinating, I know what you're saying about.

0:24:52.680 --> 0:24:57.080
<v Speaker 1>Once you establish those parameters and live by it, you

0:24:57.160 --> 0:25:01.359
<v Speaker 1>find you attract good people. Probably not just Alan, I

0:25:01.400 --> 0:25:04.320
<v Speaker 1>bet you have if you think about it, it's manifested

0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:07.600
<v Speaker 1>itself throughout your life in business, people you're dealing with now,

0:25:07.640 --> 0:25:10.159
<v Speaker 1>I bet it's been not just him.

0:25:10.280 --> 0:25:13.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's you know, yeah, it's business, it's friends. And

0:25:14.320 --> 0:25:16.439
<v Speaker 2>having said all of that, I still have you know,

0:25:16.440 --> 0:25:18.560
<v Speaker 2>I just had therapy yesterday. I just still working on

0:25:18.600 --> 0:25:21.840
<v Speaker 2>things because it was it's been thirty something years of

0:25:22.000 --> 0:25:26.760
<v Speaker 2>believing all these messages to now going My work now

0:25:26.880 --> 0:25:32.040
<v Speaker 2>is believing that I deserve the goodness that's here because

0:25:32.080 --> 0:25:34.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm for so long I'm like, well I don't deserve that. Yeah,

0:25:34.760 --> 0:25:36.840
<v Speaker 2>But now I'm like, so now I'm constantly thinking, am

0:25:36.840 --> 0:25:38.840
<v Speaker 2>I about to get sick? Am I dying of cancer?

0:25:38.880 --> 0:25:38.920
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:25:38.920 --> 0:25:41.120
<v Speaker 2>Why is this happening? Like why is this goodness happen?

0:25:41.200 --> 0:25:43.000
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm like, it's hard for me to accept it,

0:25:43.520 --> 0:25:45.880
<v Speaker 2>and I'm just constantly thinking the shoe's going to drop

0:25:45.880 --> 0:25:48.920
<v Speaker 2>because that's what I'm used to. I'm used to not staying.

0:25:49.320 --> 0:25:52.399
<v Speaker 2>It was almost like the drama in my past relationships

0:25:52.920 --> 0:25:55.639
<v Speaker 2>were comfortable, and so when I met Alan, it was

0:25:55.720 --> 0:26:00.240
<v Speaker 2>so respectful and loving and safe, and it was that

0:26:00.480 --> 0:26:02.359
<v Speaker 2>scared the living daylights out of me.

0:26:02.520 --> 0:26:03.919
<v Speaker 1>Well, enjoy the season you're in.

0:26:04.080 --> 0:26:06.200
<v Speaker 2>I mean, that's I'm trying to. Yeah.

0:26:06.240 --> 0:26:09.360
<v Speaker 1>Look, I mean, as I said before, it's like you

0:26:09.400 --> 0:26:12.600
<v Speaker 1>have to enjoy and expect the highs, but you have

0:26:12.680 --> 0:26:15.119
<v Speaker 1>to appreciate that there are lows and there will be lows.

0:26:15.160 --> 0:26:17.199
<v Speaker 1>Things are going to happen. Sure, it's life. Yeah, it

0:26:17.240 --> 0:26:19.200
<v Speaker 1>comes at you. And you know, just when we think

0:26:19.240 --> 0:26:22.440
<v Speaker 1>we get it all figured out, you know, God shows

0:26:22.520 --> 0:26:23.040
<v Speaker 1>us we don't.

0:26:24.119 --> 0:26:25.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yes he does.

0:26:27.240 --> 0:26:29.000
<v Speaker 1>You're about to launch this book. I think it comes

0:26:29.000 --> 0:26:30.479
<v Speaker 1>out late October correct.

0:26:31.440 --> 0:26:33.280
<v Speaker 2>Actuaber twenty fourth or fifth.

0:26:33.359 --> 0:26:36.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so around around Halloween look for the new book

0:26:36.080 --> 0:26:40.280
<v Speaker 1>from Jana. And when you are dealing with your past

0:26:40.280 --> 0:26:44.640
<v Speaker 1>and putting so much of your own person onto these pages,

0:26:44.960 --> 0:26:46.960
<v Speaker 1>what is the most what did you find was the

0:26:47.000 --> 0:26:50.440
<v Speaker 1>most difficult chapter of your life to deal with?

0:26:52.480 --> 0:26:55.760
<v Speaker 2>This is interesting when I and I I haven't spoken

0:26:55.800 --> 0:26:57.280
<v Speaker 2>about it a lot, and every time I do are

0:26:57.280 --> 0:26:59.520
<v Speaker 2>always good emotional because it's just a piece that's really

0:26:59.560 --> 0:27:01.320
<v Speaker 2>hard for me to speak about, even though I've done

0:27:01.480 --> 0:27:05.080
<v Speaker 2>years and years of therapy around it and I can

0:27:05.119 --> 0:27:07.919
<v Speaker 2>write it all day long. I've journaled about it for years,

0:27:08.280 --> 0:27:10.600
<v Speaker 2>and I remember doing the audio recording of my book

0:27:10.800 --> 0:27:14.440
<v Speaker 2>and I had the hardest time through the abuse chapter

0:27:15.080 --> 0:27:19.280
<v Speaker 2>because I still like when I wrote about hiding in

0:27:19.320 --> 0:27:22.440
<v Speaker 2>the bushes, I still almost judge that girl in the bush,

0:27:22.480 --> 0:27:24.920
<v Speaker 2>going what the hell were you doing? Why were you

0:27:25.440 --> 0:27:28.000
<v Speaker 2>hiding in a bush from a man that was trying

0:27:28.000 --> 0:27:31.600
<v Speaker 2>to kill you? Like? What were you? And I still

0:27:31.880 --> 0:27:35.320
<v Speaker 2>placed judgment on her. I still am shamed, like I

0:27:35.560 --> 0:27:41.159
<v Speaker 2>have shame around that being like that was me and

0:27:42.280 --> 0:27:44.960
<v Speaker 2>and that's I think that's just a hard kind of

0:27:46.800 --> 0:27:48.919
<v Speaker 2>that's that's just always been a really hard piece for

0:27:49.000 --> 0:27:51.720
<v Speaker 2>me to talk about, which is why I don't really

0:27:52.200 --> 0:27:53.240
<v Speaker 2>if I'm honest.

0:27:53.200 --> 0:27:56.520
<v Speaker 1>What do you think you have to do to forgive

0:27:56.560 --> 0:28:00.760
<v Speaker 1>that girl, because you know you should. You know, that's

0:28:01.200 --> 0:28:04.240
<v Speaker 1>an unfair burden to put on yourself and that girl

0:28:04.240 --> 0:28:05.160
<v Speaker 1>that was in the bushes.

0:28:05.920 --> 0:28:09.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think it's And you know, I spoke about

0:28:09.960 --> 0:28:11.560
<v Speaker 2>it on the book and just kind of the journey

0:28:11.600 --> 0:28:15.879
<v Speaker 2>of just all the years of and not realizing that

0:28:15.920 --> 0:28:18.640
<v Speaker 2>I was carrying all the shame and going Okay, Well,

0:28:18.640 --> 0:28:21.720
<v Speaker 2>of course she thought she deserved abuse because she witnessed X,

0:28:21.840 --> 0:28:24.000
<v Speaker 2>Y and Z. She thinks you should stay when someone

0:28:24.080 --> 0:28:26.560
<v Speaker 2>hits someone. She thinks that you should, you should be

0:28:26.600 --> 0:28:28.359
<v Speaker 2>allowed to be talked that way, and then it's their fault.

0:28:28.440 --> 0:28:32.480
<v Speaker 2>So it's like I have empathy for her, it's still

0:28:32.600 --> 0:28:34.879
<v Speaker 2>just hard as a woman now, like if someone was

0:28:34.920 --> 0:28:37.120
<v Speaker 2>to ever touch me, or if my daughter ever felt

0:28:37.119 --> 0:28:39.040
<v Speaker 2>that way, and like that's where it's like when someone

0:28:39.720 --> 0:28:42.960
<v Speaker 2>DMS me and they've been in abusive situations, I'm like,

0:28:43.200 --> 0:28:45.600
<v Speaker 2>get out, but I know it's so hard to get out.

0:28:45.680 --> 0:28:47.719
<v Speaker 2>You know, I've gone back to the same men that

0:28:47.760 --> 0:28:52.760
<v Speaker 2>have hurt me countless times before. So it's like it's

0:28:52.800 --> 0:28:55.960
<v Speaker 2>it's such a journey and it's it's sometimes you just

0:28:56.000 --> 0:28:58.440
<v Speaker 2>want to shake the person you know. And I would

0:28:58.480 --> 0:29:01.600
<v Speaker 2>love have loved to have been the older, wiser person going,

0:29:01.840 --> 0:29:04.719
<v Speaker 2>don't why, Like it's not your fault.

0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:06.880
<v Speaker 1>But I hope you will find some peace and some

0:29:07.000 --> 0:29:11.200
<v Speaker 1>grace and give yourself some grace in that. Yeah, forgive

0:29:11.240 --> 0:29:13.520
<v Speaker 1>that girl because look at the woman that she's turned

0:29:13.520 --> 0:29:13.880
<v Speaker 1>out to be.

0:29:14.760 --> 0:29:17.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, and you know, hopefully for me, I flip

0:29:17.720 --> 0:29:21.640
<v Speaker 2>it with I hope telling those stories can help other

0:29:21.880 --> 0:29:25.200
<v Speaker 2>people realize that it's those things are just not okay.

0:29:25.240 --> 0:29:27.560
<v Speaker 2>And it's and again when I read DMS and people

0:29:27.640 --> 0:29:29.640
<v Speaker 2>like is that normal? And I'm like no, but I

0:29:29.720 --> 0:29:32.960
<v Speaker 2>also ask the same question, Yeah, you know, but it's

0:29:32.960 --> 0:29:35.000
<v Speaker 2>so crazy. I'm like, of course it's not normal. It's

0:29:35.040 --> 0:29:36.680
<v Speaker 2>not that's not okay, it's.

0:29:36.600 --> 0:29:38.920
<v Speaker 1>Not that's nothing you need from thirty thousand feet, it's

0:29:38.920 --> 0:29:41.800
<v Speaker 1>so simple. Yeah, but when you're when you're there at

0:29:41.840 --> 0:29:44.120
<v Speaker 1>ground level and you're in that storm, it feels so

0:29:44.200 --> 0:29:44.600
<v Speaker 1>big and.

0:29:44.600 --> 0:29:47.920
<v Speaker 2>It feels really and just like when you're going through

0:29:47.960 --> 0:29:50.680
<v Speaker 2>a divorce, I mean, covers up. I'm never going to

0:29:50.760 --> 0:29:52.480
<v Speaker 2>be loved again, No one will ever love me. Like

0:29:52.560 --> 0:29:55.800
<v Speaker 2>everyone that gets divorced, has that like or again I

0:29:55.800 --> 0:29:57.920
<v Speaker 2>make up people feel that that they're never going to

0:29:57.960 --> 0:30:00.680
<v Speaker 2>find love again, and it's like, that's just not the truth.

0:30:01.000 --> 0:30:02.680
<v Speaker 2>Now I found it in different ways, and then I

0:30:02.720 --> 0:30:03.280
<v Speaker 2>found Alan.

0:30:03.800 --> 0:30:07.560
<v Speaker 1>So you, uh, and you mentioned journaling. You you've journaled

0:30:08.080 --> 0:30:09.360
<v Speaker 1>the good, the bad, the ugly.

0:30:09.920 --> 0:30:10.040
<v Speaker 2>Uh.

0:30:10.480 --> 0:30:12.840
<v Speaker 1>You keep it by your bed and you just constantly journal.

0:30:12.960 --> 0:30:15.360
<v Speaker 1>Is that something you've always done or is it something

0:30:15.400 --> 0:30:16.560
<v Speaker 1>you kind of learned through therapy.

0:30:17.400 --> 0:30:21.200
<v Speaker 2>No, I've just always written stuff down, even like I mean,

0:30:21.240 --> 0:30:23.240
<v Speaker 2>I like to even write out my plan I have

0:30:23.240 --> 0:30:25.760
<v Speaker 2>a planner, Like I like to just write things out.

0:30:25.840 --> 0:30:27.800
<v Speaker 2>I like to check it off. I like to like

0:30:27.880 --> 0:30:31.440
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it's just I'm just I love to write

0:30:31.440 --> 0:30:34.400
<v Speaker 2>things out. I've got I've got journals for both kids

0:30:34.400 --> 0:30:35.160
<v Speaker 2>that I write for them.

0:30:35.400 --> 0:30:39.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, that's really cool. I wonder if they will

0:30:40.040 --> 0:30:41.960
<v Speaker 1>pick that up and do that as well.

0:30:42.800 --> 0:30:43.160
<v Speaker 2>I hope.

0:30:43.200 --> 0:30:43.280
<v Speaker 1>So.

0:30:43.640 --> 0:30:45.960
<v Speaker 2>But you know, my daughter has, she's got her a

0:30:45.960 --> 0:30:48.320
<v Speaker 2>little diary. I give her diaries sometimes. So I'm like,

0:30:48.360 --> 0:30:48.960
<v Speaker 2>here are you going, honey.

0:30:49.080 --> 0:30:51.280
<v Speaker 1>And by the way, we we know we're having a boy,

0:30:51.400 --> 0:30:52.040
<v Speaker 1>right is it?

0:30:52.040 --> 0:30:52.480
<v Speaker 2>It is a boy?

0:30:52.600 --> 0:30:55.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay? And so the kids excited about having a little brother.

0:30:55.720 --> 0:30:58.600
<v Speaker 2>They're so excited, and I was, honestly, I was worried

0:30:58.600 --> 0:31:00.959
<v Speaker 2>about my son, just because you know, he's the baby

0:31:01.080 --> 0:31:05.120
<v Speaker 2>and he's my little boy. But he's so pumped to

0:31:05.120 --> 0:31:07.560
<v Speaker 2>be a big brother. It's so cute. He kind of

0:31:07.600 --> 0:31:11.360
<v Speaker 2>outgrew one of his an old lovey, little stuffy. He's like,

0:31:11.400 --> 0:31:12.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna go give it. I'm gonna go put it

0:31:12.760 --> 0:31:14.600
<v Speaker 2>in the baby's room. He can have it now. And

0:31:14.640 --> 0:31:15.920
<v Speaker 2>I was like, okay, buddy, have.

0:31:15.880 --> 0:31:18.560
<v Speaker 1>You and Alan started talking names yet, Oh yeah.

0:31:18.400 --> 0:31:20.160
<v Speaker 2>We have the name. I've slipped a million times and

0:31:20.200 --> 0:31:23.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm always like, cut it, cut it. It's like I

0:31:23.960 --> 0:31:26.360
<v Speaker 2>share everything. I'm going to keep one thing private.

0:31:26.560 --> 0:31:28.920
<v Speaker 1>That's awesome. You should, yeah, because well here's the thing

0:31:28.920 --> 0:31:31.800
<v Speaker 1>when you when you announce a name, everybody then puts

0:31:31.840 --> 0:31:34.360
<v Speaker 1>their spin on it, whether it's a positive or a

0:31:34.400 --> 0:31:38.120
<v Speaker 1>negative of like, oh I hated this Sally girl that

0:31:38.160 --> 0:31:40.479
<v Speaker 1>I went to school with, like or you know whatever.

0:31:40.560 --> 0:31:42.680
<v Speaker 1>It's like, whatever name, it's never going to be perfect

0:31:42.680 --> 0:31:45.040
<v Speaker 1>for everybody. So just keep it a secret and then

0:31:45.120 --> 0:31:46.800
<v Speaker 1>just announce it and we can all live with it.

0:31:47.160 --> 0:31:51.480
<v Speaker 2>We started taking suggestions because I had I narrowed it

0:31:51.520 --> 0:31:54.200
<v Speaker 2>down like one was Jagger because I kind of wanted

0:31:54.200 --> 0:31:57.080
<v Speaker 2>to keep the j name going. Jolie Jay's Jagger. We

0:31:57.120 --> 0:31:59.760
<v Speaker 2>want a Jagger. I wanted Jackson, but his last name's Russell,

0:31:59.840 --> 0:32:03.480
<v Speaker 2>to close to a dog. So and then we had

0:32:03.480 --> 0:32:06.640
<v Speaker 2>a few other ones and there was just too many opinions,

0:32:07.000 --> 0:32:08.880
<v Speaker 2>and so I was like, you know what, We're gonna

0:32:08.960 --> 0:32:11.080
<v Speaker 2>just name what we want to name. And it's funny

0:32:11.080 --> 0:32:13.880
<v Speaker 2>because the one best friend of mine, I'm actually going

0:32:13.920 --> 0:32:15.960
<v Speaker 2>to call her right now, it's Lee Bryce's wife, Sarah Bryce.

0:32:16.000 --> 0:32:17.959
<v Speaker 2>She's one of my best, best best friends. She does

0:32:18.040 --> 0:32:20.920
<v Speaker 2>not like the name, but yet one of her suggestions

0:32:20.960 --> 0:32:22.920
<v Speaker 2>was Alfredo. So I was like, you can't have a

0:32:23.040 --> 0:32:25.280
<v Speaker 2>say when you tried to name our baby Alfredo.

0:32:25.600 --> 0:32:27.240
<v Speaker 1>You named our baby after a sauce.

0:32:28.080 --> 0:32:30.960
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I don't actually care about what you think.

0:32:31.080 --> 0:32:36.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, exactly. Your opinion no longer matters. That's amazing. Yeah, well,

0:32:36.200 --> 0:32:38.120
<v Speaker 1>it's going to be whatever it turns out to be

0:32:38.200 --> 0:32:39.760
<v Speaker 1>to be beautiful, it's going to be perfect.

0:32:39.920 --> 0:32:40.600
<v Speaker 2>And thank you.

0:32:40.960 --> 0:32:43.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm so happy for you in this season of your life,

0:32:43.840 --> 0:32:47.320
<v Speaker 1>with the book coming out in October, the baby coming out,

0:32:48.040 --> 0:32:51.520
<v Speaker 1>and the new house, the new life, it really is

0:32:51.600 --> 0:32:54.480
<v Speaker 1>crazy to think that we were sitting there talking about

0:32:54.520 --> 0:32:58.320
<v Speaker 1>going you know, Instagram and Red Carpet Official too. You're

0:32:58.320 --> 0:33:00.840
<v Speaker 1>sitting here now rubbing your belly in your new house.

0:33:01.520 --> 0:33:04.720
<v Speaker 1>Life can change. And maybe that's the takeaway from all this.

0:33:05.400 --> 0:33:09.800
<v Speaker 1>No matter how low or how defeated you feel, the

0:33:09.880 --> 0:33:14.160
<v Speaker 1>season can change so quickly in an instant, and if

0:33:14.200 --> 0:33:16.640
<v Speaker 1>you believe in that and you can hold on, things

0:33:16.640 --> 0:33:19.720
<v Speaker 1>will get better. This too, show pass and that's a

0:33:19.760 --> 0:33:22.640
<v Speaker 1>great lesson to learn. If Janet can do it, you

0:33:22.680 --> 0:33:23.280
<v Speaker 1>can do it too.

0:33:24.480 --> 0:33:26.840
<v Speaker 2>Just keep believing in love. You know. I'm like I'm

0:33:26.840 --> 0:33:28.800
<v Speaker 2>the guinea pig. You just got to keep going until

0:33:28.800 --> 0:33:30.400
<v Speaker 2>you find it.

0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:32.400
<v Speaker 1>Well. I'm very happy for you, my friend.

0:33:32.760 --> 0:33:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, viv. I appreciate it. I'm happy for you too,

0:33:34.760 --> 0:33:38.080
<v Speaker 2>bid up with the wedding and everything, and I'm excited

0:33:38.080 --> 0:33:38.880
<v Speaker 2>for you guys.

0:33:38.720 --> 0:33:39.800
<v Speaker 1>And I will talk to you soon.

0:33:40.280 --> 0:33:42.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay, perfect, Bye, guys, Thanks for listening.

0:33:43.000 --> 0:33:45.640
<v Speaker 1>Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever,

0:33:46.040 --> 0:33:47.800
<v Speaker 1>and make sure to write us a review and leave

0:33:47.840 --> 0:33:50.280
<v Speaker 1>us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.