1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast. 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: Chris Harrison Company from the home office in Austin, Texas, 3 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: excited about the show. Today, we have a return guest 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:19,080 Speaker 1: because well, her life has changed so much it basically 5 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,599 Speaker 1: made the last interview we did completely obsolete talking about 6 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: Jana Kramer, country music singer, author, podcaster, mother now about 7 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: to be another mother again. Last time Jana and I talked, 8 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: you know, this is a woman who has been publicly 9 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: so unlucky in love, and we've all learned so much, 10 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 1: and she's taken us on this journey. Well, last time 11 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: I talked to her, she was about to go red 12 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: carpet official with her new boyfriend, Alan, And I mean 13 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: that night like we were hours away from them stepping 14 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: out on the red carpet and everybody was about to 15 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: find out about this relationship. Well that was only a 16 00:00:56,200 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: few months ago, and in that timeframe, Jana is pregnant, 17 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: her and Alan are engaged, they have finished a new house, 18 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 1: he's moving from overseas to join her in Nashville. Her 19 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 1: life couldn't to say it's done a one point eighty 20 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:16,039 Speaker 1: would be a gross understatement. So I felt like we 21 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: needed to put a big pen in that last conversation 22 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: because we have so much more to talk about with 23 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: Jana Kramer. And Jana joins me. Now from are you 24 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 1: in Nashville? You home? 25 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 2: I'm in Nashville. 26 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, is this the new home? 27 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 2: This is the new home. This is the house that 28 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 2: I've been buildin for the last year. 29 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: Okay, So we talked just a few months ago. Oh 30 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 1: how life can change. You were about to go red 31 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: carpet official that night with your boyfriend Alan, who knew 32 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 1: nobody knew about. Now you are engaged, you are pregnant, 33 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 1: you are living in a new home in Nashville. Holy crap, Jana. 34 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 2: You know it's about our interview. Is I found out 35 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 2: the day before that I was pregnant? 36 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: Shut up? You were pregnant in that interview. 37 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 2: I was pregnant. I had just found out. We obviously 38 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 2: we were in La. Yeah, we were in LA for that, 39 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 2: and I just like something felt off right. And then 40 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 2: I was like, you know, it's a woman's intuition to 41 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 2: go and you've. 42 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:24,919 Speaker 1: Done this before. 43 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 2: The body remembers the body, The body keep score. And 44 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 2: so I was I went back to my calendar and 45 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,920 Speaker 2: started counting days and was like, oh hmm. I was like, 46 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,400 Speaker 2: I might be a day or two off here, but 47 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 2: I'm not like alarmed yet. But something remember my last pregnancies, 48 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 2: I had this metallic taste in my mouth and I 49 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,079 Speaker 2: felt that taste again. I go, hey, I think we 50 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 2: need to go to CBS and get a pregnancy taste. 51 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 2: And so yeah, the day before the awards, we took 52 00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,799 Speaker 2: the test and I was just like, and you could 53 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 2: just you know, see the very yeah. I was like, okay, like, 54 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 2: you know, very very faint line. But then that's when 55 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 2: I was even like, you know, my dress got like 56 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 2: a lot of crap or whatever. But I was like, 57 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,639 Speaker 2: at that point I knew I was pregnant. I'm like, 58 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 2: I'm not going to be wearing this probably ever anything 59 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 2: like ever in my entire life. So I'm like, I'm 60 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 2: going to Like that was kind of my like little 61 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 2: joke to myself for that. 62 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:30,519 Speaker 1: What was your reaction? What was his reaction to being pregnant? 63 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: Because I mean, is this something y'all had talked about already? 64 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: Had you planned this at all? 65 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 2: So it was one of the things where when I 66 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 2: was dating in previous relationships, I would say really truly 67 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,920 Speaker 2: I'm I'm done, Like, I really don't want any other kids. 68 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 2: I have two beautiful children. I'm good. And with him, 69 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 2: he had asked me, he said, do you want another kid? 70 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 2: And I said, well, you know I've said no, but 71 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 2: with you, something feels different, like I want want to 72 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 2: say yes, but that also scares me. And you know, 73 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 2: I'm about to be forty and how does that even look. 74 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 2: And I've lost so many pregnancies and I've struggled conceiving, 75 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 2: and so I'm like, if that's something you really want, 76 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 2: I might not be the right one for you. And 77 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 2: this is a conversation we had, you know, early on 78 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 2: just hit me, you know, both us saying like do 79 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 2: you want kids? Do not? And U And then when 80 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,799 Speaker 2: we really started really talking about and getting more serious, 81 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 2: I told him, all right, well maybe we should We 82 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 2: could just try this year and let's not put any 83 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 2: pressure on it. And you know, once I hit forty, 84 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 2: it'ull be like, Okay, we tried it, it didn't happen. 85 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 2: There's no regrets or no like, man, we maybe we 86 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 2: should have tried when we had the chance. And it 87 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 2: was the first month trying and I'm like, and again 88 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 2: for me, because I've had multiple miscarriages. My first instinct was, no, 89 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 2: I'm going to lose it and I really want this 90 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 2: like that that was the feeling, I know, and that's 91 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 2: but when you've lost before, it's like that's Unfortunately. What 92 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 2: came to my mind was no, like, don't, don't. Don't 93 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 2: give me this beautiful thing and then and then take 94 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 2: it away. I don't want to. I don't want to 95 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 2: feel that pain again, especially in this new beautiful situation 96 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 2: that I'm in, and I don't want to have to 97 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 2: go through that with him, and I want to be 98 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 2: able to. So it was it was a very scared. 99 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 2: But when I was like, I call him up because 100 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 2: we were staying at his friend's house and I was like, Alan, 101 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 2: you please come up here, and he's like, is that 102 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 2: a line, I'm like, I think it is so. And 103 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 2: then a few days later we got the actual and 104 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 2: we both got teary eyed and gave each other hugs 105 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 2: and was like, Okay, that's that's so. 106 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 1: You were pregnant on that red carpet that day, that is, 107 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: by the way, and he was poker face. 108 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,039 Speaker 2: Thank you, I know. I was like, oh god, pers 109 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 2: if you only knew and what I just would have 110 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 2: just happened, because that day too, I took another test 111 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,359 Speaker 2: to see if it was still a darker line. 112 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:10,479 Speaker 1: So, and you guys have gotten engaged. Yeah, have y'all 113 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 1: talked about getting married? Do you get to try? 114 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:12,039 Speaker 2: Well? 115 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 1: How far long are you? 116 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: I've got like seven weeks left? 117 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: Yeah? Well yeah, because I obviously you stood up a 118 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: second ago, and obviously you were very much showing and 119 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:23,679 Speaker 1: very much pregnant. 120 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 2: And I've got a bump. 121 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,680 Speaker 1: How are you feeling? How has this been? 122 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,039 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's been it's been harder. I'm not 123 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 2: gonna lie. It's definitely more challenging pregnancy. The older you get. 124 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:37,279 Speaker 2: Things just gravity and uh things things gravity. 125 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 1: Gravity is undefeated, my friend. 126 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:44,039 Speaker 2: Yeah, it just things hurt a little bit more. We've 127 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:47,600 Speaker 2: been working against a fibroid this entire pregnancy too, where 128 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 2: the first who I had a hemorrhage in the beginning, 129 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 2: which it was like, okay, fifty to fifty you might miscarry, 130 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 2: and then now we got this, now the baby has 131 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 2: to grow bigger than the fibroid. And then so it 132 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:02,479 Speaker 2: was just we've we've been up against this. You know, 133 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:05,400 Speaker 2: a few things in this pregnanc scene, but it's he's 134 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 2: been so amazing because what I hear from the doctor 135 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 2: is oh, we're going to miscarry, and he's like, that's 136 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 2: not what she said. She said you can, there's a chance, 137 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 2: and it's a higher chance, but that you also won't 138 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,840 Speaker 2: you might not too. Yeah, And so he's just been 139 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 2: very good for my freak out levels of like it's 140 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 2: going to go it's going to be the worst. I'm 141 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 2: going to go to the worst, and uh, I've just 142 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 2: never been I mean, he's he's just he's so sweet. 143 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 2: I obviously this is the third pregnancy now, but he 144 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,679 Speaker 2: has been the most loving and just anything I need 145 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,520 Speaker 2: and like, babe, don't do this, don't care like, and 146 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 2: I'm like, babe, I'm fine. I'm not like I can 147 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 2: do it. I'm just pregnant. Like, but it's been it's 148 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 2: been really sweet. Is he witness and. 149 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: Shelly moved over from Scotland? 150 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 2: He is, Yeah, so he was in England. He still 151 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 2: goes back. He's got his son over there, but uh, 152 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,560 Speaker 2: he's still yeah, he travels back and forth, but no, 153 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 2: he's he's living here. He got his visa and so 154 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 2: it's and then we're talking wedding next year. 155 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: Okay, so have the baby and. 156 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 2: Then yeah, do it. It's not and we just want 157 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 2: to do something super small, like it would just be 158 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 2: like very small with the kids and close family and friends. 159 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 1: Just a little something. I'll walk in, I'll officiate, and 160 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: we'll knock it out. 161 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 2: Just televised on No I'm not, I can't, I'm not, 162 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 2: I'm not cool, like that. 163 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: Network television show. It's such a beautiful thing, and it is. 164 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 1: I think you are speaking to a lot of people 165 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: right now who have been touched by having a miscarriage before, 166 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:46,959 Speaker 1: and how much that weighs on you. The mental emotional 167 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: baggage you carry trying to do it again, that's a lot. 168 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 1: It's a lot to carry, and it's it's a conversation 169 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 1: that'll I don't think we have. 170 00:08:56,200 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 2: Enough well because you can't really you're not spoke to 171 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 2: tell people until twelve weeks, right, and so all the 172 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 2: things that happened before that are when obviously the most 173 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 2: miscarriages happen. And then after that you just feel kind 174 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,160 Speaker 2: of for me personally after the many that I had, 175 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 2: it was, well, how can I even call myself a woman? 176 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 2: Like I can't even keep a baby? It just I 177 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 2: lose it, And that is where I was like, I 178 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 2: don't I where I was hesitant of trying again because 179 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 2: I just didn't want to have to like go through 180 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 2: that or feel that again. But yeah, it's I also 181 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,440 Speaker 2: I look at it and go when I was trying 182 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 2: with my ex, I think there was a reason why 183 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 2: I lost. I'm not saying the stress and everything. I'm 184 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 2: not saying he caused my miscarriages, but I do think 185 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 2: stress plays a huge part into loss interesting and it 186 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 2: can at least. And so I think when I look 187 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 2: back the struggles that we face and having to do 188 00:09:56,160 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 2: IVF and everything else and my body, and I think, again, 189 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 2: I believe that, you know, there's your stress holds it 190 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 2: and it affects everything. So for me, you know, I 191 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 2: kind of look at my life now, I'm like, well, 192 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 2: I'm not carrying all that toxicity and the stress of everything. 193 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 2: So I think that's why it was a little easier 194 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 2: this go around. I make up that at least. 195 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. You have talked to your ex about this. 196 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,319 Speaker 1: What was his take on you being pregnant, you getting 197 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: engaged so quickly and all of this. 198 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,079 Speaker 2: You know, we were just talking about that the other 199 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 2: day because I think he's going to come on the 200 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 2: podcast in like a month or so and just kind of, 201 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 2: you know, talk. And one of the funny stories that 202 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 2: we have is he he's the one that knew that 203 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,199 Speaker 2: I was pregnant, Like he knew it right away. He goes, 204 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 2: are you pregnant? Because I did something really that I 205 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 2: had done in years past being pregnant, and this was 206 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 2: like early, early, early on, and I wasn't ready to 207 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 2: just you know, because again I didn't know we were 208 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 2: the hemorrhage at the point, and I'm like, I just 209 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,959 Speaker 2: I'm probably gonna lose it, and you know, that was 210 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 2: where my mind frame was, and so yeah, but he 211 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,679 Speaker 2: it's it's gonna be funny to hear him tell that 212 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 2: story back because he he definitely was the one was like, 213 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 2: are you pregnant? Because I think I made a sound 214 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 2: or something that was very similar because I'm trying not 215 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 2: to puke, right because I was very like sick with 216 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 2: both with all my pregnancies, and he I said, I'm 217 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 2: not going to answer the question, and he goes, I remember, 218 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:48,400 Speaker 2: he said, if it's true, I'm really happy for you, 219 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 2: and I just said thank you. Yeah, So he was 220 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 2: and he's been he's been very sweet about it, and uh, 221 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 2: you know, Alan, when he goes out of town and stuff, 222 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,960 Speaker 2: he's like, if you ever need anything, you know, you 223 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 2: can always call. So oh that's right. Yeah, it's been 224 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 2: really really really nice. Like he's not gonna the baby's 225 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 2: not going to call him uncle Mike or anything. But 226 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 2: you know, yeah, like, but it's it's it's a very 227 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,680 Speaker 2: we've evolved a lot good. 228 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,800 Speaker 1: That's that's a very powerful and very healthy thing as 229 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: you guys, because you're still co parenting and you will 230 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 1: continue to co parent for many, many many more years. 231 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that's the thing that you know, 232 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 2: something where we've kind of come to is we've had 233 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 2: we've done it not right or not not good. The 234 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 2: last two years. We've had wins, we've had bad times. 235 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 2: We've let our past triggers on both sides come into 236 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 2: our conversations. And I think one of the things we've 237 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 2: realized was we have a new relationship now and it 238 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 2: has to look different than our old relationship. So how 239 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 2: I talked to him in years past, how he talked 240 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 2: to me, how the triggers and everything we have to 241 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,680 Speaker 2: leave that behind because now we do have a new 242 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 2: relationship and it's it is a co parenting relationship and 243 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 2: we have to be in each other's lives for our kids, 244 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 2: and we both want to, you know, be together at 245 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 2: certain things and and have you know, the kids see 246 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,680 Speaker 2: us both happy in the same place, will more together. 247 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,560 Speaker 2: And like, I'm like, I just I'm at a place 248 00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 2: where I just don't want any negative energy. I don't 249 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:21,320 Speaker 2: I even like ex'es and that you know, we're awful. 250 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 2: I just like I don't. I hope everybody's happy, Like genuinely, 251 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 2: I just don't want any negative. 252 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:31,840 Speaker 1: I read something the other day, someone puts something up 253 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:35,000 Speaker 1: on Twitter x whatever the hell it is, and basically 254 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,679 Speaker 1: they were saying, you get to an age and it 255 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 1: does happen around forty, I'm fifty where you want less 256 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,600 Speaker 1: people in your life, and those people in your life 257 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:50,960 Speaker 1: have to be value adds only positive less, stress less, 258 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 1: drama less ever. You know, all that is so true 259 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:56,839 Speaker 1: as you get to this point in your life and 260 00:13:56,880 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 1: you really do find yourself holding a lot less animosity 261 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 1: for ex's, for people that have done you wrong. It's 262 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,400 Speaker 1: just it's not you realize, it's just not worth the burden. 263 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:11,560 Speaker 2: MM hmm. Yeah. And I've you know, I've said sorry 264 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 2: to the people in my past that if I go okay, 265 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 2: is there's someone that I need to say sorry to 266 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 2: that I that it would bother me if I don't 267 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 2: ever apologize to them. So there was two people that 268 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,800 Speaker 2: I reached out to that I was like, I'd like 269 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 2: to sit with you and apologize, and I don't want 270 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 2: anything back. I don't wanna I forgive you, I don't 271 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 2: wanna anything. And was so interesting about that was because 272 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 2: I genuinely I'm like, I just a'm like and you 273 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 2: don't even have to like me after you write, and 274 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 2: I'm not trying to defend. I just want to say 275 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:43,280 Speaker 2: I'm sorry because I was a total dick when I 276 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 2: was twenty something to you and it's always sat with 277 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 2: me bad and again like I'm not asking to be 278 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 2: your friend or whatever. But it was interesting when I 279 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 2: did do that too, they were like, well, I'm sorry. 280 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 2: I'm like, I didn't say I want to sorry, Like no, 281 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 2: because we all play a part in things. Yeah, that's 282 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 2: the thing, Like there's not just like my ex isn't 283 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 2: just a bad person, like I played my part in 284 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,520 Speaker 2: that too. We all play a part so, but can't 285 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 2: we all also wish everyone happiness and good things, like 286 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 2: I hope they even the you know, people that have 287 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 2: hurt me the worst, like go on, and like everyone 288 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 2: deserves to have like happiness in their life and move 289 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,800 Speaker 2: on and not be defined by what they did five 290 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 2: years ago or last week or whatever. It's just like 291 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 2: life is too short. It is. 292 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 1: I can't your life is too short, and it's equally 293 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 1: too long to be miserable to be carrying that. And 294 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 1: people have you know a lot of people have asked 295 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,960 Speaker 1: me when I went through what I went through with 296 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 1: the show and the network and all that, like are 297 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: you pissed off? Are you mad? I'm not, Like, I 298 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,920 Speaker 1: just it's not worth my time, my energy, my effort. 299 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: I have so many blessings in my life to be 300 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 1: grateful for. Were there some bumps and bruises along the 301 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: way and some bad bounces, Yeah, but there were a 302 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 1: lot of good ones too, and you got to take 303 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: the good with the bad. And and again I wish 304 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 1: those people, well, let's all move on. Yeah, it's not 305 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: worth me losing a day of sleepover or you know 306 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,520 Speaker 1: that negative energy that I think it really does it 307 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: manifests in so much of your life. What I find 308 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 1: interesting is this you redefining your relationship with Mike. That's 309 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 1: a very powerful statement that you thought about it enough 310 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: to realize if we keep going the way we're going, 311 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,359 Speaker 1: it's not going to be good for our kids, our families. 312 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,880 Speaker 1: To redefine it and let everything else go and start 313 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,240 Speaker 1: anew is easier said than done. That's really powerful. 314 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, and it was hard, and it's still 315 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 2: there's still moments. I'm not going to be like, oh 316 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 2: we just how are like? So there's still moments where 317 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 2: things come up. But I mean I used to when 318 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,440 Speaker 2: he'd caught I would just get the worst triggered feeling, 319 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 2: and I'm like, I got to stop this from me 320 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 2: because now he's taking joy out of the moment that 321 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 2: I just had in my day. Like I don't want 322 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 2: him taking that from you know, from me, And he 323 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 2: doesn't even mean to be doing that, but that's just 324 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 2: like from the old triggers of everything. So I think 325 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,440 Speaker 2: it was just really kind of just sitting down and going, 326 00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 2: all right, I got to bury all of that, And yes, 327 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,800 Speaker 2: things will still come up. I still get frustrated, he 328 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 2: still gets frustrated if he feels like I'm trying to 329 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,920 Speaker 2: control or whatever. But again I just I'm like, okay, 330 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 2: I always go what's new relationship? Old relationship? So and 331 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 2: every time I talk to him like, this is our 332 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 2: new relationship. You got to act how you want to 333 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:29,440 Speaker 2: act in this new one. 334 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 1: Speaking of new relationships, you're going to get married. Lauren 335 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 1: and I are discussing this, which is why I want 336 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 1: your opinion. Are you going to change your name? Will 337 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: you hyphenate your name or are you now of the 338 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: age like Lauren is. It's like, no, no, that that's 339 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,199 Speaker 1: an old custom. I'm keeping my name moving on. 340 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 2: So I swore up and down I will never change 341 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 2: my name again. I've changed it a few times, so 342 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,120 Speaker 2: I was like, I will never do again. Not only 343 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 2: is it annoying with like the dsas and the airplane 344 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,120 Speaker 2: and stuff like you know, it just there's so much 345 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 2: paperwork with changing your name. I've never wanted to be 346 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:15,680 Speaker 2: a Russell more than than anything, Like I I cannot wait. 347 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 2: I still think it's the thing to do, And you know, 348 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 2: I would like to be one of my children's last 349 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 2: names too, you know, like now we'll have a son 350 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 2: that will be. It kills me that my kids don't 351 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,159 Speaker 2: have we don't share the same last name, but at 352 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 2: least with you know, our baby, we'll have the baby's 353 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 2: last name. 354 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:40,560 Speaker 1: So it will be Jana Kramer Russell or so I mean, I'll. 355 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 2: Obviously keep Jana Kramer for like the the Wark stuff, 356 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,680 Speaker 2: but I will be Russell with any other thing going forward. 357 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,679 Speaker 2: We were just at it. We went away for like 358 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 2: a little getaway, and I had it under Kramer, and 359 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,399 Speaker 2: so all weekend he's like, they're like mister Kramer, and 360 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, sorry, then yeah, it's like I promised. 361 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 1: That's not gonna we get that a lot. Whoever puts 362 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 1: the card down at you know, down below that you 363 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,399 Speaker 1: pick up the phone, they're like, mister Zima and I'm like, oh, yeah, 364 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 1: that's a good ring to it. 365 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,720 Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, but no, I think I don't know. I 366 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,399 Speaker 2: just I'm kind of old school in that way. I 367 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,640 Speaker 2: still I still think it's and maybe who knows, maybe 368 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,919 Speaker 2: I can think about the hyphen a little bit. But 369 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 2: I do like the middle name, so I would never 370 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,399 Speaker 2: want to drop my middle name. I don't know, what 371 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,680 Speaker 2: do you what do you guys leaning towards? 372 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: Well, here's the thing. And what's interesting is obviously you 373 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,160 Speaker 1: were sitting there with child, and I think that has 374 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 1: such a profound effect on everybody's answer, because you want 375 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: to share that name with your husband, your child, you're 376 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 1: and so you know, for us, children will not be 377 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: a part of it. We've made that decision and so 378 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,640 Speaker 1: the name is not that important to us. 379 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 2: Was that a tough decision to make? No kids? Because 380 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,639 Speaker 2: I know you have your older I do. 381 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, we have two and that are in college and 382 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 1: so twenty two. Just he just turned twenty two the other. 383 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,680 Speaker 2: Day, because she's she's close to my age, right, she's 384 00:19:58,680 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 2: a little younger. 385 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, and uh yeah, Lauren is and so and my 386 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: daughter's nineteen about to turn twenty so and yeah, Lauren's 387 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: about your age. And so, you know, it's something that 388 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 1: we definitely talked about right away. It was, you know, 389 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 1: and I think it's a really important decision and an 390 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:18,159 Speaker 1: important conversation to have up front, especially when you're this 391 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 1: age and you don't want to waste somebody's time. You 392 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 1: start dating, and you have that conversation much earlier than 393 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:28,240 Speaker 1: you probably should, because you know, if you see yourself 394 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,840 Speaker 1: falling for somebody the last thing I want is five 395 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 1: years later to be like, oh, we should now talk 396 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,520 Speaker 1: about this after we've just wasted half a decade. So 397 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: it's an important conversation. It was luckily we were both 398 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 1: on the same page and it was a very easy conversation. 399 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: But you know, there were definitely relationships that weren't that easy. 400 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,680 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, Okay, Well that's good. I'm happy. 401 00:20:55,280 --> 00:21:02,119 Speaker 1: And it'll it'll remain Lauren's ema, okay saying yeah and uh, 402 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,440 Speaker 1: her exactly. And so much of it, you know, with business, 403 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 1: as you said, I mean, you're about to publish another book. Yeah, 404 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: and you know, the name on the book, the Instagram, 405 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: the so much of it is already kind of spoken 406 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: for now in our lives. It's tough. It's tough to 407 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:18,399 Speaker 1: unwind that. 408 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,080 Speaker 2: Oh wind down though, maybe we can wind down and 409 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:22,800 Speaker 2: talk about it. 410 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: In the book you did, you talked about, uh, you know, 411 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 1: kind of taking care of your past and dealing with it. 412 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: And one of the things was your ex and how 413 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 1: he belittled you. 414 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 2: Which one, which one? Which one? Which name? In the book? 415 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 1: I always think it's Mike, but maybe I'm not. Maybe 416 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:54,639 Speaker 1: I was wrong. 417 00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 2: Uh yeah, that and that was uh, you know, I 418 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:05,159 Speaker 2: think we can all go back and go And I 419 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,240 Speaker 2: know he would say this too, and he's he fights 420 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,560 Speaker 2: with his words. That's something he always did and that 421 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,200 Speaker 2: was where he knew. We always know how to push 422 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:17,119 Speaker 2: other person's button, right, and that was his that was 423 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 2: what always hurt the worst. And I'm like, man, I'd 424 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,480 Speaker 2: almost rather take something else than because the words always 425 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,360 Speaker 2: stayed with me. Those are the words anytime anyone ever 426 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,359 Speaker 2: say anything to me, or he'd belittle me, or he 427 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 2: would say something mean, those are the things that I 428 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 2: actually kept on like, I carried those words with me. 429 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:41,680 Speaker 2: So when we got divorced, that was all the work 430 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 2: I had to do. Post was taking everything he put 431 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 2: on me and not having it be mine and not 432 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 2: owning it. 433 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 1: Was that something that you had before you got married. 434 00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 1: Was that something a part of your relationship was like? 435 00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 1: Was that a red flag? Okay? 436 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,119 Speaker 2: Well, but it was one of the things where and 437 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 2: this is something where I've said, you know with my 438 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 2: fiance is I always say that. People always say why 439 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 2: do you love him? I go, he respects me so much? 440 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,159 Speaker 2: And I had this like light bulb moment and I 441 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,960 Speaker 2: was like, because it's for the first time, I'm demanding respect. 442 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:21,040 Speaker 2: I never asked for respect, right, So I never had 443 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,680 Speaker 2: respectful men in my life. They were mean, they were abusive, 444 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:27,480 Speaker 2: they were awful because I didn't think I deserve that 445 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:29,680 Speaker 2: I was told at a young age. 446 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,920 Speaker 1: And establishing the terms in your relationship. 447 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,119 Speaker 2: Yeah, So of course he can talk to me like 448 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,359 Speaker 2: that because I've allowed him to talk to me like that, 449 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 2: and I believe that what he's saying is true. So 450 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:44,040 Speaker 2: when he says that I'm x Y and Z, I 451 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 2: have had those messages told to me before from another 452 00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,640 Speaker 2: prior relationship that I believed and carried. So of course 453 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 2: I believe him and I can't leave him because who 454 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 2: would want me? 455 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 1: And now that you have established better and sought out better, 456 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,879 Speaker 1: you have found better. 457 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,959 Speaker 2: Healthy attracts healthy, right, Yeah, so that is that is 458 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 2: the thing, you know. 459 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,200 Speaker 1: I think it attracts it, But it also if you're 460 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,440 Speaker 1: not ever allowing that in I'm sure maybe you went 461 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,120 Speaker 1: on dates with other people before Alan or while y'all 462 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: were dating whatever that wasn't healthy and you cut it out, 463 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:17,040 Speaker 1: oh for sure. 464 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,080 Speaker 2: And that's the thing. Even in my book, Yeah, I 465 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,920 Speaker 2: talk about this guy named Seth, and it's like Seth 466 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 2: is a great person for someone else, but at the 467 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 2: time I was still so wounded in my own stuff 468 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 2: that like and but yes, he was the same person 469 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,159 Speaker 2: that wasn't honest. I picked it again, a non honest person, 470 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,880 Speaker 2: which then ignited all my insecurities. And it's like, well, 471 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,960 Speaker 2: of course I'm going to act this way because this 472 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 2: is you know, this is the same frickin' pattern all 473 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 2: over again. Like I've done no growth whatsoever, so of 474 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 2: course I'm picking the same thing. 475 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:52,439 Speaker 1: That's interesting, and it's fascinating, I know what you're saying about. 476 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 1: Once you establish those parameters and live by it, you 477 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 1: find you attract good people. Probably not just Alan, I 478 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 1: bet you have if you think about it, it's manifested 479 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,600 Speaker 1: itself throughout your life in business, people you're dealing with now, 480 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,159 Speaker 1: I bet it's been not just him. 481 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's you know, yeah, it's business, it's friends. And 482 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,439 Speaker 2: having said all of that, I still have you know, 483 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 2: I just had therapy yesterday. I just still working on 484 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 2: things because it was it's been thirty something years of 485 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 2: believing all these messages to now going My work now 486 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 2: is believing that I deserve the goodness that's here because 487 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 2: I'm for so long I'm like, well I don't deserve that. Yeah, 488 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,840 Speaker 2: But now I'm like, so now I'm constantly thinking, am 489 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 2: I about to get sick? Am I dying of cancer? 490 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:38,920 Speaker 1: Like? 491 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,120 Speaker 2: Why is this happening? Like why is this goodness happen? 492 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,000 Speaker 2: Like I'm like, it's hard for me to accept it, 493 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 2: and I'm just constantly thinking the shoe's going to drop 494 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,920 Speaker 2: because that's what I'm used to. I'm used to not staying. 495 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,399 Speaker 2: It was almost like the drama in my past relationships 496 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,639 Speaker 2: were comfortable, and so when I met Alan, it was 497 00:25:55,720 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 2: so respectful and loving and safe, and it was that 498 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,359 Speaker 2: scared the living daylights out of me. 499 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,919 Speaker 1: Well, enjoy the season you're in. 500 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 2: I mean, that's I'm trying to. Yeah. 501 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,360 Speaker 1: Look, I mean, as I said before, it's like you 502 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 1: have to enjoy and expect the highs, but you have 503 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,119 Speaker 1: to appreciate that there are lows and there will be lows. 504 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,199 Speaker 1: Things are going to happen. Sure, it's life. Yeah, it 505 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,200 Speaker 1: comes at you. And you know, just when we think 506 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,440 Speaker 1: we get it all figured out, you know, God shows 507 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,040 Speaker 1: us we don't. 508 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, yes he does. 509 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 1: You're about to launch this book. I think it comes 510 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,479 Speaker 1: out late October correct. 511 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 2: Actuaber twenty fourth or fifth. 512 00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:36,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, so around around Halloween look for the new book 513 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 1: from Jana. And when you are dealing with your past 514 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:44,640 Speaker 1: and putting so much of your own person onto these pages, 515 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 1: what is the most what did you find was the 516 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 1: most difficult chapter of your life to deal with? 517 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,760 Speaker 2: This is interesting when I and I I haven't spoken 518 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 2: about it a lot, and every time I do are 519 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,520 Speaker 2: always good emotional because it's just a piece that's really 520 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 2: hard for me to speak about, even though I've done 521 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 2: years and years of therapy around it and I can 522 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:07,919 Speaker 2: write it all day long. I've journaled about it for years, 523 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 2: and I remember doing the audio recording of my book 524 00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,440 Speaker 2: and I had the hardest time through the abuse chapter 525 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 2: because I still like when I wrote about hiding in 526 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,440 Speaker 2: the bushes, I still almost judge that girl in the bush, 527 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,920 Speaker 2: going what the hell were you doing? Why were you 528 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,000 Speaker 2: hiding in a bush from a man that was trying 529 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 2: to kill you? Like? What were you? And I still 530 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 2: placed judgment on her. I still am shamed, like I 531 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:41,159 Speaker 2: have shame around that being like that was me and 532 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,960 Speaker 2: and that's I think that's just a hard kind of 533 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,919 Speaker 2: that's that's just always been a really hard piece for 534 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,720 Speaker 2: me to talk about, which is why I don't really 535 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 2: if I'm honest. 536 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: What do you think you have to do to forgive 537 00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,760 Speaker 1: that girl, because you know you should. You know, that's 538 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 1: an unfair burden to put on yourself and that girl 539 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:05,160 Speaker 1: that was in the bushes. 540 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's And you know, I spoke about 541 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 2: it on the book and just kind of the journey 542 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:15,879 Speaker 2: of just all the years of and not realizing that 543 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,640 Speaker 2: I was carrying all the shame and going Okay, Well, 544 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,720 Speaker 2: of course she thought she deserved abuse because she witnessed X, 545 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,000 Speaker 2: Y and Z. She thinks you should stay when someone 546 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,560 Speaker 2: hits someone. She thinks that you should, you should be 547 00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,359 Speaker 2: allowed to be talked that way, and then it's their fault. 548 00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:32,480 Speaker 2: So it's like I have empathy for her, it's still 549 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 2: just hard as a woman now, like if someone was 550 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,120 Speaker 2: to ever touch me, or if my daughter ever felt 551 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 2: that way, and like that's where it's like when someone 552 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 2: DMS me and they've been in abusive situations, I'm like, 553 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 2: get out, but I know it's so hard to get out. 554 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,719 Speaker 2: You know, I've gone back to the same men that 555 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 2: have hurt me countless times before. So it's like it's 556 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 2: it's such a journey and it's it's sometimes you just 557 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 2: want to shake the person you know. And I would 558 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 2: love have loved to have been the older, wiser person going, 559 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,719 Speaker 2: don't why, Like it's not your fault. 560 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:06,880 Speaker 1: But I hope you will find some peace and some 561 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 1: grace and give yourself some grace in that. Yeah, forgive 562 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 1: that girl because look at the woman that she's turned 563 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: out to be. 564 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and you know, hopefully for me, I flip 565 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,640 Speaker 2: it with I hope telling those stories can help other 566 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:25,200 Speaker 2: people realize that it's those things are just not okay. 567 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,560 Speaker 2: And it's and again when I read DMS and people 568 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 2: like is that normal? And I'm like no, but I 569 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 2: also ask the same question, Yeah, you know, but it's 570 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 2: so crazy. I'm like, of course it's not normal. It's 571 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 2: not that's not okay, it's. 572 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 1: Not that's nothing you need from thirty thousand feet, it's 573 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 1: so simple. Yeah, but when you're when you're there at 574 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,120 Speaker 1: ground level and you're in that storm, it feels so 575 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 1: big and. 576 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:47,920 Speaker 2: It feels really and just like when you're going through 577 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 2: a divorce, I mean, covers up. I'm never going to 578 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,480 Speaker 2: be loved again, No one will ever love me. Like 579 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,800 Speaker 2: everyone that gets divorced, has that like or again I 580 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 2: make up people feel that that they're never going to 581 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,680 Speaker 2: find love again, and it's like, that's just not the truth. 582 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 2: Now I found it in different ways, and then I 583 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:03,280 Speaker 2: found Alan. 584 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,560 Speaker 1: So you, uh, and you mentioned journaling. You you've journaled 585 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:09,360 Speaker 1: the good, the bad, the ugly. 586 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:10,040 Speaker 2: Uh. 587 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 1: You keep it by your bed and you just constantly journal. 588 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: Is that something you've always done or is it something 589 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:16,560 Speaker 1: you kind of learned through therapy. 590 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 2: No, I've just always written stuff down, even like I mean, 591 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,240 Speaker 2: I like to even write out my plan I have 592 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 2: a planner, Like I like to just write things out. 593 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 2: I like to check it off. I like to like 594 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 2: I mean, it's just I'm just I love to write 595 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 2: things out. I've got I've got journals for both kids 596 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:35,160 Speaker 2: that I write for them. 597 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:39,680 Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, that's really cool. I wonder if they will 598 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:41,960 Speaker 1: pick that up and do that as well. 599 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 2: I hope. 600 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: So. 601 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 2: But you know, my daughter has, she's got her a 602 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,320 Speaker 2: little diary. I give her diaries sometimes. So I'm like, 603 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 2: here are you going, honey. 604 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: And by the way, we we know we're having a boy, 605 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,040 Speaker 1: right is it? 606 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 2: It is a boy? 607 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: Okay? And so the kids excited about having a little brother. 608 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,600 Speaker 2: They're so excited, and I was, honestly, I was worried 609 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,959 Speaker 2: about my son, just because you know, he's the baby 610 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:05,120 Speaker 2: and he's my little boy. But he's so pumped to 611 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 2: be a big brother. It's so cute. He kind of 612 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 2: outgrew one of his an old lovey, little stuffy. He's like, 613 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,760 Speaker 2: I'm gonna go give it. I'm gonna go put it 614 00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,600 Speaker 2: in the baby's room. He can have it now. And 615 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 2: I was like, okay, buddy, have. 616 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,560 Speaker 1: You and Alan started talking names yet, Oh yeah. 617 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 2: We have the name. I've slipped a million times and 618 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,920 Speaker 2: I'm always like, cut it, cut it. It's like I 619 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,360 Speaker 2: share everything. I'm going to keep one thing private. 620 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 1: That's awesome. You should, yeah, because well here's the thing 621 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,800 Speaker 1: when you when you announce a name, everybody then puts 622 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 1: their spin on it, whether it's a positive or a 623 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:38,120 Speaker 1: negative of like, oh I hated this Sally girl that 624 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,479 Speaker 1: I went to school with, like or you know whatever. 625 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,680 Speaker 1: It's like, whatever name, it's never going to be perfect 626 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,040 Speaker 1: for everybody. So just keep it a secret and then 627 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,800 Speaker 1: just announce it and we can all live with it. 628 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:51,480 Speaker 2: We started taking suggestions because I had I narrowed it 629 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 2: down like one was Jagger because I kind of wanted 630 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 2: to keep the j name going. Jolie Jay's Jagger. We 631 00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 2: want a Jagger. I wanted Jackson, but his last name's Russell, 632 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:03,480 Speaker 2: to close to a dog. So and then we had 633 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 2: a few other ones and there was just too many opinions, 634 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,880 Speaker 2: and so I was like, you know what, We're gonna 635 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,080 Speaker 2: just name what we want to name. And it's funny 636 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 2: because the one best friend of mine, I'm actually going 637 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,960 Speaker 2: to call her right now, it's Lee Bryce's wife, Sarah Bryce. 638 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,959 Speaker 2: She's one of my best, best best friends. She does 639 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,920 Speaker 2: not like the name, but yet one of her suggestions 640 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,920 Speaker 2: was Alfredo. So I was like, you can't have a 641 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,280 Speaker 2: say when you tried to name our baby Alfredo. 642 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,240 Speaker 1: You named our baby after a sauce. 643 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,960 Speaker 2: I was like, I don't actually care about what you think. 644 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:36,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. Your opinion no longer matters. That's amazing. Yeah, well, 645 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: it's going to be whatever it turns out to be 646 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 1: to be beautiful, it's going to be perfect. 647 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 2: And thank you. 648 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you in this season of your life, 649 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,320 Speaker 1: with the book coming out in October, the baby coming out, 650 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 1: and the new house, the new life, it really is 651 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,480 Speaker 1: crazy to think that we were sitting there talking about 652 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 1: going you know, Instagram and Red Carpet Official too. You're 653 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,840 Speaker 1: sitting here now rubbing your belly in your new house. 654 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 1: Life can change. And maybe that's the takeaway from all this. 655 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 1: No matter how low or how defeated you feel, the 656 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 1: season can change so quickly in an instant, and if 657 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: you believe in that and you can hold on, things 658 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,720 Speaker 1: will get better. This too, show pass and that's a 659 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,640 Speaker 1: great lesson to learn. If Janet can do it, you 660 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:23,280 Speaker 1: can do it too. 661 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 2: Just keep believing in love. You know. I'm like I'm 662 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:28,800 Speaker 2: the guinea pig. You just got to keep going until 663 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 2: you find it. 664 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,400 Speaker 1: Well. I'm very happy for you, my friend. 665 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,640 Speaker 2: Thank you, viv. I appreciate it. I'm happy for you too, 666 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:38,080 Speaker 2: bid up with the wedding and everything, and I'm excited 667 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 2: for you guys. 668 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:39,800 Speaker 1: And I will talk to you soon. 669 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 2: Okay, perfect, Bye, guys, Thanks for listening. 670 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,640 Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever, 671 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,800 Speaker 1: and make sure to write us a review and leave 672 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,280 Speaker 1: us five stars. I'll talk to you next time.