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Speaker 1: Oh, this is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health

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Speaker 1: podcast helping you out of the gray and into the blue.

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Speaker 1: Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental

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Speaker 1: health podcast with Jay Glazer. I'm your host, Jay Glazer.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, before I get into this week's guest, I'm

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Speaker 1: really excited to have on our book, I'm Breakable. How

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Speaker 1: I talk about depression, anxiety and a motivation and you

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Speaker 1: can't too out in paperback and if you need words,

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Speaker 1: this book gives it words to describe mental health, what depression, anxiety,

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Speaker 1: it feels like, how to you know, really lean into

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Speaker 1: your better half or your kids, understand what your kids

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Speaker 1: are going through, for you to want to explain to

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Speaker 1: somebody else what you're going through. I give it words

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Speaker 1: and really really layman's terms. Again, I'm not your therapist.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor, I'm not clergy. I'm just a

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Speaker 1: dude who's fucked up, who's learned how to be good

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Speaker 1: with this fucked upness and trying to all get us

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Speaker 1: to walk this walk together with one big army together

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Speaker 1: because we deserved to. We deserved to, you know, know

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Speaker 1: that we're not alone out there, and there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of us together who were facing the same thing. So

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Speaker 1: if we know that we're in the majority, which I

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Speaker 1: think we are, we're not in the minority, it makes

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Speaker 1: it a lot easier for us to deal with. But

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Speaker 1: that I want to bring our guests in here now

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Speaker 1: for this week. And this dude is one of the

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Speaker 1: baddest motherfuckers who's ever played in the NFL. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I like to tell people that me for all the

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Speaker 1: years you know, I've been in football and fighting, people say, well,

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Speaker 1: Glazier's crazy. Well that's that's a badge honor in football

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Speaker 1: and fighting. I just didn't know what kind of pain

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Speaker 1: I was in. And I think that probably the same

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Speaker 1: for my guest over here. This guy was an amazing

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Speaker 1: sack master. He absolutely terrorized opposing quarterbacks, but he had

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Speaker 1: a lot of terror going inside of him as well.

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Speaker 1: With that, I'm gonna bring in the Hall of Famer

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Speaker 1: Charles Halley. How are you doing, man? Hey? What's up?

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Speaker 1: Thank you for having me on man? Just say is

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Speaker 1: one of the things that I take a lot of

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Speaker 1: honor and is talking about mental health and how it

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Speaker 1: affected me, not own as a player, but growing up

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Speaker 1: as a kid, and how every day. I have to

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Speaker 1: live with it. I Like I said, I people always

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Speaker 1: said to me, oh, Glazier's crazy. But when I first

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Speaker 1: came out with it, which is only a year and

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Speaker 1: a half ago, you know, I trained Mercedes Lewis for

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Speaker 1: years at Mix Marshal Arts and he was the first

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Speaker 1: one and called and said, but I knew you're crazy.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know what kind of pain you re in?

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Speaker 1: What's that feel like? I was diagnosed in eighty eight.

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Speaker 1: My ex wife told me that I was a man

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Speaker 1: of good pressing. But you know, you have to look

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Speaker 1: at the background. You know. Growing up as a kid,

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Speaker 1: I didn't have any friends. Um. And then I went

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Speaker 1: to college. Um, they used to call me doctor Jacobins

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Speaker 1: to hide, you know, Um as a black man, where

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Speaker 1: taught not to show out feelings. Sure, and and so

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Speaker 1: you know I couldn't. I didn't have anybody to talk

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Speaker 1: to because a manosed to be a man himposed to

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Speaker 1: cry him you know, have show weaknesses. And you know

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Speaker 1: I took that to heart and and and um, and

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Speaker 1: I was never able to really tell someone what I

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Speaker 1: was going through. Where are you finally able to well, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I finally, um came out there came out the closet

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Speaker 1: and and like um um, I had to go through

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Speaker 1: a lot to get there, to um get to that point.

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Speaker 1: You know, I went through drug addiction and then you

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Speaker 1: know my my ex wife, man, you know, she was

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Speaker 1: there for me, there for me until I brought drugs

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Speaker 1: into the house with little kids, and then she couldn't

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Speaker 1: take no more until we end up getting the divorce

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Speaker 1: from that. But she stood by me, man um. Without her,

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Speaker 1: I would not have made it through the NFL because

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Speaker 1: the demons was driving me crazy. Um and she just

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Speaker 1: she was a tough woman. Then she kept me um

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Speaker 1: grounded and enough that you know, I didn't explode and

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Speaker 1: destroy everything that I was trying to build. But what

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Speaker 1: was the turning point for you where you were able

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Speaker 1: to say, Okay, you know what, this isn't a sign

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Speaker 1: of weakness. I could talk about it and feel safe now.

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Speaker 1: And it makes me a tougher dude to be able

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Speaker 1: to talk about overly. Well, it happened when I went

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Speaker 1: to a due Diagno center. And then I got there

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Speaker 1: and I saw me and a lot of people, and

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Speaker 1: I realized that yes, I do have a mental illness.

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Speaker 1: And the moment that they got my medicine regulated. In

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Speaker 1: that center, my life changed. My mama told me that

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Speaker 1: she beat christ in to me, but one day I

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Speaker 1: was going to let him out. And in that room,

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Speaker 1: I pride, man, because you know what, that pain, that anger,

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Speaker 1: it was just coming out and I didn't know how

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Speaker 1: to deal with it. But thank god I I was

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Speaker 1: in a place of safety where everyone dealing with either

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Speaker 1: mental illness or drug addiction. You know, something going on.

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Speaker 1: But you know when you look at you know your situation.

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Speaker 1: I forgot that I was a man. I just I

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Speaker 1: just realized I'm broken. I'm fucking broken, you know, And

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Speaker 1: and how do you feel these cracks? You know, I

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Speaker 1: had blamed my mom and dad because they never I

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Speaker 1: need gratification, man, and I never got that from my parents.

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Speaker 1: They never said I love you, And you know, I

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Speaker 1: got a chance to really talk to them about us,

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Speaker 1: and they were the first ones that helped me get

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Speaker 1: some sanity back because you know, they told me there's

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Speaker 1: a son. We put um food on the table, you know,

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Speaker 1: and you know I was there for everything, but I

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Speaker 1: needed those words. And then, you know what, my dad

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Speaker 1: never talked. He called me out of the blue all

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Speaker 1: the time and say, Son, I just wanted to let

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Speaker 1: you know I'm thinking about you and I love you,

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Speaker 1: and those words man my mom the same way. Man,

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Speaker 1: I just you know, it allowed me to open up

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Speaker 1: and to be the man that I want to be,

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Speaker 1: the change that I want to see in others. That's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: I love that. Let me ask you this because I

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Speaker 1: kind of go back and forth on this because I

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Speaker 1: knew I needed my pain to step up at the

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Speaker 1: cage right and fight people and train all the guys

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Speaker 1: that I've trained with, and right, I needed that kind

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Speaker 1: of crazy and I kind of look back down and

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Speaker 1: I go, Man, if I had to do all over again,

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Speaker 1: what I have stayed in that kind of pain so

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Speaker 1: I could use it to fuel me fighting was and

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Speaker 1: I don't know the answer to that. What is your answer?

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Speaker 1: My answer is, bro, I'm the hawlk. I'm always angry,

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Speaker 1: so it didn't matter, you know what I'm saying. I

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Speaker 1: never knew how to be a friend because I never

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Speaker 1: had friends. And now now today, because of this life

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Speaker 1: changing moment, now I'm able to go to my teammates

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Speaker 1: and you know, the family and friends and ACTI tell

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Speaker 1: them what I regret. I don't say I'm sorry, because

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Speaker 1: that's what pawn artists do. They keep saying I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and then all your friends and family,

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Speaker 1: you know, they hadn't heard that before. But I go

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Speaker 1: back and try to be as detail as I can

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Speaker 1: about what I've done, and I asked them, don't listen

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Speaker 1: to these words. Watch my walk. I did a three sixty.

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Speaker 1: Everything that was negative, all those people I got rid of.

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Speaker 1: And that's the only way, that's the only way that

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Speaker 1: you're gonna find true freedom. You have to do a

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Speaker 1: three six. You have to get rid of all that shit.

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Speaker 1: And you know, all these people that was there with

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Speaker 1: you going through it, guess what they were enabling you?

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Speaker 1: So why keep them around? Were you surprised at the

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Speaker 1: reaction when you went to people and said, hey, listen,

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Speaker 1: I regret this, I regret that, and this is what

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Speaker 1: I've really been going through. A man, you know what.

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Speaker 1: It took a minute for guys. Let let that guard.

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Speaker 1: Damn man, because you know, I've done some dumb as

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Speaker 1: shit to people. Tell write some fuckers. Yeah, I've done

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Speaker 1: some dumb shit. You know, when I was coming in

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Speaker 1: the room, they would leave, you know, but you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just fulfilling for me to over time. It took

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Speaker 1: two or three years for guys to start being able

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Speaker 1: to laugh, joke that um, you know, to you know,

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Speaker 1: punch me or whatever, you know, and not worry about

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Speaker 1: Um there's angry Hawk going crazy on him. You know,

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Speaker 1: he's a dude. Now he's in a cage and I'm

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Speaker 1: never gonna let him out because unless i have to

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Speaker 1: defend myself. But other than that, I'm past that. In

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Speaker 1: my life. I call it keeping the beast in the box.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, And I do whatever I can to keep

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Speaker 1: that beast of the box because it's not safe for

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Speaker 1: me or others when that beast comes out of the box.

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Speaker 1: And man, right, but sometimes I struggle. And I saw

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Speaker 1: Mike Tyson talking about it recently. He's like, man, I

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Speaker 1: try to walk, you know, working the art of humble

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Speaker 1: this now. And man, I'm trying to keep that that thing,

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Speaker 1: that that monster, you know, down, And sometimes I feel

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Speaker 1: like a bit funny to keep it down. Yeah, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I understand, Hey, hey, but you know what man's um.

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Speaker 1: You know what bothers me the most is, you know

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Speaker 1: is guys, you know, they try to you know, they

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Speaker 1: try to fuck with my head by telling me, Hey,

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Speaker 1: you know I looked up to you. You know, I

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Speaker 1: thought you was whatever. And you know what, every year

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Speaker 1: they brought in people to take my job. And you know,

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Speaker 1: and these guys, you know, they think I'm stupid enough

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Speaker 1: to really you know, they were trying to take my

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Speaker 1: job and I was going to give it to them.

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Speaker 1: And you know, the greatest thing that I ever did

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Speaker 1: was play football because I could mask all my anger,

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Speaker 1: all the violence, all the pain dolls going through because

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Speaker 1: you know, in the locker room on the field, you

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Speaker 1: could do anything and not go to jail. Right if

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Speaker 1: I if I wasn't playing football, I probably be in prison.

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Speaker 1: And that's the answer, ends and and butts about it.

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Speaker 1: Because I had everything that popped in my head. I did.

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Speaker 1: What's the greatest thing you think you did in football? Man? Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say, because then, um, the people I

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Speaker 1: did it too. Man, I'm trying to heal those women.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Well, yeah, but give me

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Speaker 1: the thing that makes you most. You don't have to

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Speaker 1: name man's or whatever like, but the thing that like, man,

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Speaker 1: it's just you look back because a lot of what

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Speaker 1: I have to do after, like, think of things that

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Speaker 1: I'm proud of. To get the roommates mann to talk

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Speaker 1: nicely each other. Give me some of the things you're

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Speaker 1: most proud of from your playing correct days? Is there

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Speaker 1: a season? Is there? Accolades? What I'm most proud of

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Speaker 1: is Joe Mounttown and Ronne and like as the rookie.

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Speaker 1: You know, I was doing all kind of crazy shit

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Speaker 1: and Joe treated me like I was a thirty You

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Speaker 1: know that I've been playing with them from day one.

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Speaker 1: He made me feel so so at home. Ronnie was

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Speaker 1: my mentor. Man. He taught me the game of football.

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Speaker 1: You know, I got angry with him and tried to

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Speaker 1: hurt him, man, and he's you know what, I love

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Speaker 1: him so much. Man. You know we went, we wanted

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Speaker 1: to give shoes out. This ten year old kid changed

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Speaker 1: my life. He asked Ronnie, He said, miss a lot.

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Speaker 1: What makes you great? And Ronnie said, I played without fear.

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Speaker 1: And at that moment I got from under his wings

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Speaker 1: and I spread on my wings because that was when

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Speaker 1: I realized that I could unleash that giant. And Wow,

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Speaker 1: I didn't know how to put him back. I unleased him. Wow.

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Speaker 1: Is there anybody you ever intimidated by I was intimidated by. No,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I don't know what that word intimidation is. Man.

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Speaker 1: If the intimidator scared, I scared myself because the ship

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Speaker 1: that goes through my head when I when I get mad.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know how I didn't act on a

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Speaker 1: lot of it. Man, But it's just a man. You know, Hey,

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Speaker 1: I really don't know how to describe it. Man. But

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Speaker 1: I remember one day Michael Carter probably claiming the closest

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Speaker 1: to intimidating out. You know, they put me beside his locker,

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Speaker 1: and man, I was bouncing around, you know, manic jumping

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Speaker 1: around and everything. Because I would go either be bounced

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Speaker 1: around on top of the world or I'd be depressed

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Speaker 1: that you know, I won't talk to nobody. One day,

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Speaker 1: I'll bounced around. I was talking attracting him, and boy,

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Speaker 1: he backhand me in my chest. I thought he'd every

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Speaker 1: bone in my chest. Dog. I jumped out of there. Man,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I looked at that dog and I said,

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Speaker 1: I don't want no pause of that dog. Man. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: Michael Carter probably be the first one who kept you

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Speaker 1: in checking Dallas, who in check you? How you said

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Speaker 1: kind of Ronnie and Joe Montown. I kind of helped that,

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Speaker 1: kind of kept you in check a little bit. Who

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Speaker 1: who are those people in Dallas? Subscaveris I was a

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Speaker 1: bully when I got there. You know, they were already

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Speaker 1: a team and I was coming into something. So you

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Speaker 1: know it was my job. Man. You know, my mom said,

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Speaker 1: respect is not giving as earn. So I earned that

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Speaker 1: respect by walking out on the field and whooping their ass. Okay,

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Speaker 1: there's no ant ifs abuts about it. I let them

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Speaker 1: know there can only be one. There can only be one,

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Speaker 1: and I am that one. And if they want to

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Speaker 1: knock me off the top of the melt brand and

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Speaker 1: so I sat a standard of excellence that I wanted

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Speaker 1: others to follow, and I did not take anything less

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Speaker 1: than that. The only thing can conquered man is pain.

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Speaker 1: And you know that's what conquered me. Was at the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, the pain that I was going

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Speaker 1: through conquered me. You know, pressure made me into a dominant,

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Speaker 1: but that pain, that pain conquered me. Tell me about

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Speaker 1: your your your early days and again my depression anxiety

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Speaker 1: and now it's like an add depression anxiety by Puller

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Speaker 1: all that. It's my earliest childhood memory. I never I

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Speaker 1: don't ever recall not waking up, and I can describe

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Speaker 1: my like my pain. Why wake up? And it's an

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Speaker 1: everyday thing for me. I'm sure it is for you,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like it this morning. I wake up

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Speaker 1: like the sky's falling. Everybody hates me, things were against me.

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Speaker 1: How could you describe your pains as a young kid up?

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Speaker 1: Oh shit, hey, man, I you know what. I was

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Speaker 1: an introvert. Man. I didn't talk to anybody. I stayed

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Speaker 1: to myself. I just you know what, man, I didn't

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Speaker 1: want people to know there was a five secure old

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Speaker 1: kid inside screaming for help. So I didn't want friends

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Speaker 1: because then they're realized something is wrong. I didn't want

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Speaker 1: that help. I wanted to hide. I wanted to keep that,

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Speaker 1: keep that secret. And I took that kid that ain't

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Speaker 1: that kid with me from high school to college and

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Speaker 1: college into the NFL. And then I kept that same

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Speaker 1: kid and destroyed my whole relationship with my family. And

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Speaker 1: you know, the most important thing to me is family,

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Speaker 1: whether it's my teammates or my my biological family. And

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Speaker 1: that destroyed me the most. That's for me That was

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Speaker 1: the biggest turning point in my life where I realized

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Speaker 1: that I fucked up so bad. I fucked up so bad.

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Speaker 1: But then, like I said, when I got on my

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Speaker 1: knees and God told me, get up, get up, you

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Speaker 1: know you're you're my son, and I got you, you know,

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Speaker 1: I got I found new strength that day in rehab.

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Speaker 1: I found a strength that I didn't know I had.

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Speaker 1: I was so fearful of leaving the dual diagnosed center.

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Speaker 1: I was scared to lead because I never felt that

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Speaker 1: good before in my life. I could never look out

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Speaker 1: the window and see the trees. I just saw dirt.

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Speaker 1: I saw a little bit, and I mean my head

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Speaker 1: cleared the fall glass and I could understand the world.

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Speaker 1: And you know, today I understand my mood changes. So

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Speaker 1: you know, when I feel like I'm going to depression,

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Speaker 1: I'll go to gas station or whatever, and I may

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Speaker 1: come somebody's gas. I may help somebody with that gross service.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I love, I hope to do something to

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Speaker 1: get myself out of the phone, you know. And so

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Speaker 1: the thing that people need to fucking understand is find

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Speaker 1: one reason to live, you know, I the thoughts of

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Speaker 1: me hurting myself. That came a lot, but you know what,

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Speaker 1: I found one thing to live for. I had nine

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Speaker 1: and nine other things to live for, but I found

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Speaker 1: one thing to live for, and that's my relationship with

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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. I cannot have a relationship if I harm myself.

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Speaker 1: So that became my mantra. That's what I live for

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Speaker 1: every day, and that's what I sacrifice for. You know,

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Speaker 1: I love what you said here too, because we say

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Speaker 1: the same things but a little different words. Because you

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Speaker 1: say you saw a dirt outside, I call mine the gray.

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Speaker 1: One of the things I wrote about the book is

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Speaker 1: one of the ways through the gray is to be

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Speaker 1: of service to people. So you just said it the

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Speaker 1: same thing I did. You go to a guest station,

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Speaker 1: pump someone's guests, he helps someone with groceries. I want

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Speaker 1: people at home to really understand the power. That's the

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Speaker 1: power of being of service. Helps you through that dirt,

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Speaker 1: It helps you through that gray. And Charles is beautiful

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Speaker 1: that you've seen that. Man. Yeah, you know what people

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Speaker 1: they thinking me going, oh you so nice. You So

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Speaker 1: I'm going like you just don't know right. I'm doing

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Speaker 1: this for me. I'm doing this for me. I have

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Speaker 1: to do it. And you know, I started a foundation

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Speaker 1: to help kids with reading because you know, I was

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Speaker 1: reading three great levels behind in college. So that's also

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Speaker 1: another outlet for me, the baby, to go in and

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Speaker 1: serve and and and serving kids. So I found ways

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Speaker 1: to not go back into that pain area again and

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Speaker 1: know and and that's my freedom. My freedom is is

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Speaker 1: that I don't have to wake up thinking about my past.

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Speaker 1: I wake up and think about my future. And that

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Speaker 1: has been my key, that has been my battle call.

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Speaker 1: Have you been able to heal that little kid in you?

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Speaker 1: He's still there. He's still there. He's still he's still

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Speaker 1: roaming around. I can never get him to leave my head.

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Speaker 1: You know, he walks around there. Thank your own ship.

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Speaker 1: It's just hard to forgive some people, especially when I

337
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 1: was growing up. It's you know, um, it's hard for

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Speaker 1: me to deal with my brothers. You know, it's some

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00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,680
Speaker 1: dynamics that's in my head that's keep me from I'm

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00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:06,359
Speaker 1: taking that step of forgiveness. You know, I want people

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00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 1: to forgive me, but I won't forgive others. And I don't,

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Speaker 1: you know, and you know, God has keep telling me

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Speaker 1: to move my feet, to let things go. But that

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Speaker 1: kid that kids still gotta sits balled up and saying,

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Speaker 1: you know, fuck that, but he he needs some healing. Yeah,

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00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 1: you know, hey, you still got a fish balled up,

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Speaker 1: all right. And he won't allow me. He won't he

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00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 1: won't let he won't allow me to let go of

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Speaker 1: all the pain. So I'll give you a little story

350
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,040
Speaker 1: that had helped me a little bit, helped me a

351
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Speaker 1: lot incredibly. I go to Thailand, that's like my happy

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00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,600
Speaker 1: places to train, more time in the jungle, I mean,

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Speaker 1: with these monks out there. And then I go last

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Speaker 1: year they asked me to describe myself and then it

355
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 1: was just the worst. I'm a piece of shit on

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Speaker 1: this and that, all this stuff. He said, man, you're

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Speaker 1: you're in a lot of pain. And they said, we

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Speaker 1: want you to take the next three days and sit

359
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 1: in your pain. I said, I sit in my pain

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Speaker 1: every day. I said, no, you experience your pain every day.

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Speaker 1: And they said to me, this goes to the little

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Speaker 1: kid Charles, and they said, when you were growing up,

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Speaker 1: did you refer to yourself as Jay I said, no,

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00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 1: I refer to myself as Jason said. All right, what

365
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,040
Speaker 1: we want you to do is sit in your pain

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Speaker 1: and look at that little hurt, little kid, little Jason,

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00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,159
Speaker 1: a little hurt. We just want you to hold his

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Speaker 1: hand and show him some compassion because you never thought

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Speaker 1: he had. And man, Charles, it's been they said to me.

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Speaker 1: I started trying my eyes out, and it's trying to

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Speaker 1: change me. So now I sit at night and I

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00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 1: think about that little kid in all that pain. I

373
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 1: literally just put my arm around him and tell me

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Speaker 1: it's gonna be okay. So don't know if that resonates

375
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Speaker 1: with you, old man, but it was pretty healing for me.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm go out in public, but nine percent

377
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 1: of my time is at home by myself. Yeah, I

378
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 1: just you know, I want to I want to love,

379
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,880
Speaker 1: I want to trust, but that kid, and like I said,

380
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 1: that kid is still there. Man, Yeah, you got to

381
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 1: heal him, brother, got to heal him. I don't know how.

382
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,919
Speaker 1: I just know how to hide with him. And I

383
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: do that very well at my own house and with

384
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,679
Speaker 1: my dogs. You know. But maybe that's where I'm saying, like,

385
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,119
Speaker 1: here's something like, hey, man, tonight, sit there, if you

386
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,560
Speaker 1: look at him, for your arm around him, love him up.

387
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 1: It's a process, you know what I mean. But he

388
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 1: deserves to get loved up. We all do, right, So

389
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,639
Speaker 1: maybe that's a start for him. Yeah, Yeah, that was

390
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 1: some with them right there. So I'm gonna try to

391
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: use some of it good. I like it all right.

392
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Speaker 1: Before I let you go here, I ask every one

393
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 1: of my guests this, you're unbreakable moment, something that should

394
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 1: have broken you and didn't and as a result, you

395
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 1: come to the other side of that. Told him, Well,

396
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 1: the unbreakable moment is it's when my drug addiction destroyed

397
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:55,439
Speaker 1: my family. When I brought drugs into the thing that

398
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:59,640
Speaker 1: that was one of the hardest situations. But the thing

399
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 1: that I'm near broke me was when my daughter and

400
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 1: leukemia and I could not do anything to help her, man.

401
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 1: And I tell you, man, that was the hardest. That

402
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 1: was the hardest battle I ever fought, man, because you know,

403
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 1: I just you know, I loved her so much, man,

404
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,159
Speaker 1: and there was nothing I could do. I would go

405
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 1: to the hospital, they would do the spinal taps, she

406
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:27,440
Speaker 1: would screamed, and that took me so deep into drugs

407
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 1: and alcohol that it should have it should have killed me.

408
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 1: But you know what, I came through, and she came through,

409
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:38,640
Speaker 1: and we came together and that's the moment that fucked

410
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 1: me up, and but yet it built me into a

411
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 1: better man. I love that man. And look how many

412
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: people you're helping out also, Hey, just be the change

413
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,399
Speaker 1: you want to see another. What do you tell players,

414
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 1: these young players when they come in I see down

415
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: there with the cowboys. What do you tell these chaps

416
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 1: when they come in to try and help them between

417
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,320
Speaker 1: their ears? What's your advice to them? Well, I tell

418
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 1: him check the hell up. And you know what, you

419
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 1: ain't done shit. You ain't done shit. I don't want

420
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 1: to Hey, hey, I don't care a damn your first round.

421
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,360
Speaker 1: You're making a hundred million dollars. You ain't done shit

422
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,680
Speaker 1: in your life. You need to be quiet. You need

423
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 1: to learn, Hey, you need to learn how to be

424
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,760
Speaker 1: a professional. Because this shit could ay, it could be

425
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 1: gone tomorrow. So you are to take time out to

426
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 1: really enjoy this moment. But I hate to shit out

427
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: of them, make them do shit? Hey, I just you know.

428
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 1: My thing is is that when I when I go

429
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 1: there the forty nars of the Cowboys, I just feel

430
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: like I'm at home, you know, And and I do

431
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: meet man because you know what, at the end of

432
00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 1: the day, I'm not. I don't coach you guys. You

433
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 1: know I'm a teacher. I want to teach them. Hey,

434
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: look this is what I went through. You don't have

435
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 1: to go through it. I already been through it. And

436
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,840
Speaker 1: then I'll guys and say, look, get your ass in

437
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,360
Speaker 1: here to see this. Sive psychiatrists. Are you going in here?

438
00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 1: And I'll grab them, take them in there because I

439
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: see me and they don't have to go through that

440
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 1: same pain. And I make sure I'll hold that ass accountable.

441
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,600
Speaker 1: And then the dumb fuckers will come back and say, oh,

442
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 1: I'll diagnose. Should I take the medicine? This is how

443
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 1: dumb people are. Man, I'm like, shit, hell yeah, I

444
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 1: take the medicine. And everybody, you need, everybody need to

445
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 1: understand something. It's okay to have a mental illness, but

446
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: the moment until you say I have a mental illness,

447
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 1: you're not. You're not accepting that you have a mental illness.

448
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 1: And remember diabetics what they gotta do. They gotta take insolent.

449
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 1: Hey you gotta. Hey, so the medicine we take, it's

450
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 1: just like having a heart heart problem or diabetes or whatever. Hey,

451
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take mine because then I gotta I gotta

452
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: fighting chance of winning this battle. Hey, I just want

453
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,479
Speaker 1: to be here. I just want to be a fifty

454
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 1: to fifty every day and I'm good. I love it. Man. Hey,

455
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: you make a great point. We got nemn you. We're

456
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,400
Speaker 1: taking medicine. Get ouver that pneumonia. There's no shame in it.

457
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 1: Same with this, make ye. Hey Charleston, I appreciate you

458
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: joining me, my brother. I appreciate you walking us, walk

459
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,800
Speaker 1: together with us. Hey, stay great. I appreciate you. Hey,

460
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: and start tonight, try and heal, heal that little kid

461
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: in you. I'll try