1 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. Welcome to stuff I've 2 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:08,800 Speaker 1: never told you, but actually I heard you. 3 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 2: And welcome to a happy hour where I'm just gonna 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,799 Speaker 2: be unhappy. We'll call it a and wine, but I 5 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 2: don't have a wine and noother do just Anie, Oh, 6 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 2: but on wine a little bit, uh, and we're gonna 7 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 2: do all the things, uh Anie. Before we start, are 8 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 2: you partaking of anything refreshing? 9 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:43,959 Speaker 1: I am taking. I am drinking a light beer, as 10 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: you called it, a warm beer, because we've been in 11 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: here recording for a minute. But it's still it's still 12 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: got its temperature. It's still got its temperature. 13 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 2: It's got a temperature. 14 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: It's cool, it's not warm. 15 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 2: I am drinking on some bubbly water because we are 16 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 2: frantically trying to get a lot of recordings, a peek 17 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 2: behind the curtain before we head out to do a panel, 18 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,040 Speaker 2: actually getting out there in the world and reminding people 19 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,679 Speaker 2: that we exist in the podcasting world, which is a 20 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 2: whole thing, and honestly it is a catalyst to what 21 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 2: we're talking about today. So if you are particular of anything, 22 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 2: please do so responsibly. You know what we mean by that. 23 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 2: We are not currently being sponsored by anything we are 24 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 2: necessarily talking about, but just as an FYI, if you 25 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 2: happen to be in DC and participating in a podcast movement, 26 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 2: we're gonna be there. 27 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: Yay. 28 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 2: The last time we went to do this was pre pandemic, 29 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,640 Speaker 2: So this is gonna be like a reminder of what 30 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 2: we used to be like, except for the fact that 31 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,919 Speaker 2: I have and I think any you would probably agree, 32 00:01:55,200 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 2: become a more introverted and awkward. And I'm assuming you 33 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 2: were kind of there with me. 34 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were. I mean, honestly, we were 35 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 1: pretty awkward at the last one, but that was just 36 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: our vibe. 37 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 2: This is. 38 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: Because you were what that dance you kept doing? 39 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 2: What is wrong with me? 40 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 1: I was doing that the entire time, wasn't I You 41 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: were and I we were just I remember when they 42 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: kept people would come over to us and it was 43 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: clear they were trying to make conversation and we would 44 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: just kind of stare at them awkwardly. Yes, so I 45 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 1: feel like we were awkward, but we were better than 46 00:02:38,639 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: this what we're going to be now. 47 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:44,360 Speaker 2: Yes, so yeah, so we are getting prepared to do that. 48 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 2: So we are not doing a Sex and the City 49 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 2: viewing today. Apologies it will be back, and y'all know 50 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 2: once again as a reminder, we're trying to find a guest, 51 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 2: one of you amazing listeners to come and hang out 52 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 2: with us. We've got several names, but if you want 53 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,839 Speaker 2: to your name to this list of possibilities to join us, 54 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 2: please do so. We'll tell you at the end of 55 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 2: this episode how to do that. All you need is 56 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 2: really a good internet connection and or okay internet connection 57 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 2: and maybe headphones and then an email to talk to 58 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 2: a producer who does amazing things. All of that to 59 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 2: say it is coming back, But for now, I'm going 60 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:28,399 Speaker 2: to talk about how anxious I am about making appearances 61 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 2: once again, especially feeling like I have aged a lot 62 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 2: in the past two years. And I say this as 63 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 2: a person who is truly trying to accept aging. I 64 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 2: really didn't think I would be one of those people 65 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 2: who would get hit into panic mode. But I kind 66 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 2: of have hit that panic mode to the point. As 67 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 2: we've talked about when it comes to self esteem, weight, 68 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 2: just looks in general, and not my not being white, 69 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 2: all of those things. Being Asian, there's so much panic 70 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 2: that I feel like I'm having right now in prepping 71 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 2: not only being in front of people, which we're not 72 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 2: going to have that many people that we're talking to, Like, honestly, 73 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 2: we're anticipating a little crowd, not much of a crowd. 74 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 2: But the nervousness in just thinking about it, being seen, 75 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 2: being judged, being looked at is really really unnerving, to 76 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 2: the point that I have been grinding my teeth extra 77 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,440 Speaker 2: hard and trying to find quick solutions to change myself, 78 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:33,279 Speaker 2: which is really really really anti feminist in my mind, 79 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,480 Speaker 2: you know, like this level of conversation that we've had 80 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 2: about are we feminist? Is is bad feminism? I am 81 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 2: I a hypocrite for doing these things I've looked at 82 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 2: looking at anti aging things because I don't know what 83 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 2: has happened. Again, it could be the pandemic, It could 84 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 2: just be in my mind. I don't think it is, 85 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 2: but like so many things that I wish I could 86 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,720 Speaker 2: fix or turn back in so many ways. And it 87 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,920 Speaker 2: also has to do with my body image. It also 88 00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 2: has to do with again, like I feel like I'm 89 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 2: starting to get these bags, these SAgs. It's not cute. 90 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 2: And I swore up and down what five years ago, 91 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 2: I would never be this person, this would not be me. 92 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 2: I will not be the person who will look into 93 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 2: spending extra money to change myself because society right wrong. 94 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,559 Speaker 2: Like that's the best way I can say it. There's 95 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 2: so much pressure I feel like in being the perfect 96 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 2: feminists and being the perfect woman, in being the perfect intersectionalist, 97 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 2: and being the perfect Asian person in order to represent 98 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 2: these things that is really really a mindful like I 99 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 2: can't describe it as anything else, and wanting to do 100 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 2: a good job in not only representing those marginalized people 101 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 2: who are in the same categories I'll say it that 102 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 2: way as I am, but also trying to do this 103 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 2: in a way that I'm like, i am a healthy 104 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 2: individual with great confidence, but I'm not too confident that 105 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 2: I'm narcissistic and ecocentric. Look at me, I am humble enough, 106 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,840 Speaker 2: Like those are the titles that I feel like in 107 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 2: order to represent anything that we have to have, And 108 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 2: so I am really struggling right now and trying to 109 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 2: bypass that into them, which is what I was really 110 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 2: hoping that I would jump into. Getting older, Like there's 111 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 2: parts of my personality that I am Yes this, I 112 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,560 Speaker 2: am too old for this, So trying to measure and 113 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 2: balance those and at the same time trying to treat 114 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,920 Speaker 2: myself okay, that I'm not going to have a full 115 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 2: fledged panic attack, which I have already contacted physicians, and 116 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 2: being like I need medication, give me as a person 117 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 2: who doesn't typically take medications, I like, no, I need it. 118 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 2: I need it immediately because I am in anxiety mode 119 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 2: for some pay of these things and any I've already 120 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 2: gone to get my facial and I have not gotten 121 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 2: the answers that I want. There's so many things that 122 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 2: I'm trying to figure out that I can do that 123 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 2: doesn't feel like I'm crossing my own boundaries or maybe 124 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 2: and again this is we've talked about this before, but 125 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 2: like why can't we if it gives us more confidence 126 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 2: or if it's healthy for us, like we're doing it 127 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 2: in a healthy manner, but it still feels like we're 128 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 2: being hypocrites, you know what I'm saying. So like, I 129 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 2: have never done botox, I have never done any type 130 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 2: of surgical stuff. I have never like I actually did 131 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,920 Speaker 2: try to do a survey about whether or not I 132 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 2: would be interested. I have never been the type of 133 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 2: person who would spend money on that stuff. Have I 134 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 2: spent money on topical things? Yes, way too much money. 135 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 2: Like I'm scared to look at if I were to 136 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 2: sit down to write how many products that I have 137 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 2: bought in the last three years, Like, I have a 138 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 2: feeling that would put me in a shame spiral. So 139 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 2: I can't. I can't do that to myself because there 140 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 2: are so many things that I'm like believing on TikTok. 141 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,240 Speaker 2: It's not TikTok's fault, is my self esteem of like 142 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 2: these will fix these things I've heard like Gauasha and 143 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 2: all these things, and I have tried all these things. 144 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,760 Speaker 2: Some of this just makes my feel like face feel better, 145 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,640 Speaker 2: So I'm like, yeah, I'll do that. But like I 146 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 2: have realized that I have fallen into the trap of 147 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 2: spending so much money in corporate world for these products, 148 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,439 Speaker 2: hoping to change and have an outcome that will change 149 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 2: things that are just natural. But it's hard to accept 150 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 2: it as natural. And again this is compounded by the 151 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 2: guilt of wanting this a that I can't naturally be this, 152 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 2: uh be feeling like that if I don't try something 153 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,240 Speaker 2: like this, and if I don't succeed in something like this, 154 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 2: I'm going to be judged for it. See, if I 155 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 2: do succeed in something like this, and if I'm not honest, 156 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 2: then I'm a hypocrite. D If I am honest is 157 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 2: succeeding in these things, I'm a hypocrite. You know, Like 158 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 2: all of these things feel like such a layered part 159 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,560 Speaker 2: of our conversation and aging as women, aging as a 160 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 2: marginalized person, aging in an industry that you are seen, 161 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 2: like you have to be seen, whether or not I 162 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 2: would don't Like I have come upon the realization that 163 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 2: as a kid, when I wanted to be a star, 164 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 2: like I really thought I could be an acting or singing, 165 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,839 Speaker 2: to this point of realizing, I would have not survived 166 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:53,640 Speaker 2: that industry because the level of criticism, the level of trolls, 167 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 2: the level of people. No matter what you do, what 168 00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 2: opinion you made, if you were a blank slate, you're 169 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 2: always going to be judged, and even more so when 170 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:08,559 Speaker 2: you have compounding layers of being a marginalized person. So 171 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 2: this level of like being seen now, which I'm not 172 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 2: even really we're not even not to undermine all the 173 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 2: work that's happened, but you know, we're not number one 174 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 2: category of women's podcasting. Let's be very very honest. We 175 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 2: work hard, we try to get great information, we try 176 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,319 Speaker 2: to be as entertaining as possible, and we try to 177 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 2: be accurate and informative. But that doesn't necessarily mean that 178 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,599 Speaker 2: we are the most famous podcasters, you know what I mean? Like, so, 179 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 2: like I'm not writing in that, but just being seen 180 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 2: by the few people who we love and who we 181 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 2: are connected with is amazing. But that also comes the 182 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:54,640 Speaker 2: realization we are seen that people see us, and I'm like, 183 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 2: oh god, what does that mean? Yeah? You know, So 184 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 2: with that responsibility of people with good information, correct information, 185 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 2: being as honest as we can be and vulnerable as 186 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 2: we can be within our own healthy limits, it's really 187 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 2: hard to find those boundaries and not question all of 188 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,080 Speaker 2: these things that I have and like going back and 189 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 2: forth of like, Okay, if I do this thing, am 190 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:32,320 Speaker 2: I hypocrite? Okay? If I do these things? Am I 191 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,559 Speaker 2: being anti feminists? 192 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 1: Okay? 193 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 2: If I think these things or change things these things 194 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 2: about me? Am I hating myself? Or am I calling? 195 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,959 Speaker 2: Am I being fat phobic? Am I being agist? Am 196 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 2: I being anti Asian? Like There's so many things that 197 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,959 Speaker 2: feel like come into play when it's just a simple 198 00:11:54,280 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 2: panel that we're going for thirty minutes, y'all thirty minutes long, 199 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:05,359 Speaker 2: and like coming out and having this as a catalyst, 200 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 2: and also there's a couple of other things that may 201 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 2: be projects in the future having me break down, because 202 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 2: that means I have to be seen and I can't 203 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 2: just sit in my hole, slash my house and never leave. 204 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 2: Like but when I see the mirror and see myself 205 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 2: and see myself aging and changing, which is completely natural, 206 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 2: but realizing I don't love aging and I don't love 207 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 2: the sagging, and I laugh because I don't want to cry. 208 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 2: But there are so many things like is do I 209 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 2: do something about it? Or maybe it is a psychological 210 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 2: thing that I need to go back to therapy about 211 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 2: because I need to undo these ideas about myself. You know, 212 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 2: there's like that could be just the underlying thing, but 213 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,840 Speaker 2: there's so many pieces to this that as I ramble on, 214 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 2: it feels hard to undo and it feels hard to 215 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 2: reconnect all these things in a healthy manner. 216 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it is. That's That's one of the 217 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:22,959 Speaker 1: I have found hardest things about being an intersexual feminist 218 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 1: is those questions you always have to interrogate, Okay, why 219 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,320 Speaker 1: am I doing this? Maybe it is like not the 220 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:37,520 Speaker 1: most feminist thing, but no one can be the perfect feminist. 221 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: And then you're weighing that, and then because we're on 222 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:45,120 Speaker 1: this show, you feel even more like, well, I can't 223 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 1: be preaching this and then off the side doing this, 224 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 1: and so then you have to be open about it. 225 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,880 Speaker 1: You don't have to, but I feel like it should 226 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:57,439 Speaker 1: be generally right unless it's like a real strict boundary. 227 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: It's difficult. It's difficult when it's because we all grew 228 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 1: up with these experiences wherever you grew up. It's hard 229 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: to untangle what is just a negative thing that you've 230 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: been taught versus something you might just want, versus like, 231 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: maybe it was a negative behavior you've been taught, but 232 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:30,360 Speaker 1: this will make you feel better. And at the end 233 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: of the day, there are worse things, you know what 234 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 1: I mean? 235 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 2: I know, I feel like we live in a society 236 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 2: where we have to choose the lesser evil and in comparison, 237 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,320 Speaker 2: but also fails cross too. 238 00:14:46,240 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 1: It does, it does. I've had stances where I've thought 239 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: of doing something I very briefly thought about a long 240 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: time ago, getting a liposection. Yeah, and I the reason 241 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,840 Speaker 1: I didn't is because one we've talked about this. I'm 242 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: terrified at being put under and I'm terrified people take 243 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: a video of me. Yeah, But two, I was like, 244 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: if that comes out and I want to feminish show 245 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 1: brush in that's. 246 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 2: The end of us. Like we've talked about some things 247 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 2: when we were writing books and like we can't have 248 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 2: this or that will just be like the controversy in this. 249 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 2: We've had so many conversations because there's so much layered 250 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 2: responsibility and we don't take that lightly. And I think 251 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,200 Speaker 2: that's the other big part to this is like we 252 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe it's a Libra in me, but 253 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 2: I have to be balanced and honest, like I cannot 254 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 2: not do it, which is odd because I think growing 255 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 2: up I was probably a reactive attachment, which is all 256 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 2: about trying to look like you're completely independent but also 257 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 2: getting what you want, so kind of in that level. 258 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 2: But now that I've kind of let that go and 259 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 2: went through all the therapies and trying to find a 260 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:08,040 Speaker 2: balance and healthy attachments and all of that, I come 261 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 2: to gum to the other end of like I want 262 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 2: to be truly honest, like I really want it's going 263 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 2: to always be in the back of my head that 264 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 2: I'm a liar, or that I'm the hypocrite like I 265 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 2: will I will punish myself or I will judge myself 266 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 2: more than others in reality and respect. But again it's 267 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 2: because and I think this is just like is the 268 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 2: value of our listeners. They can read us really well, 269 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 2: so I think in that and I think they would 270 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:43,359 Speaker 2: know if we were dishonest, if we were being hypocritical. 271 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 2: And to that point again, because we have very smart listeners, 272 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 2: and that's part of that reality. You and I from 273 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 2: Jump and I'm pretty sure you probably were firm even 274 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 2: before we understood what we wanted to be in this 275 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 2: podcast is honest and upfront and real and realistic. Like 276 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:08,879 Speaker 2: that's that other part because in all fairness, humanity is flawed, 277 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,639 Speaker 2: which is why so many bad things have happened. But 278 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 2: we also want to be the ones that are a 279 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 2: part of fixing it, correcting it, and bettering it. I mean, 280 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:24,119 Speaker 2: that was the intent in my job in general, like 281 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 2: like in general. But I can still also look back 282 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,640 Speaker 2: on that time and knowing all the mistakes that I've made, 283 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,119 Speaker 2: and there's a lot of guilt and thinking that I 284 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 2: was making good decisions, that I was making choices that 285 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:38,199 Speaker 2: were for the better, you know, so that this is 286 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 2: just like underlying panic of all of this. And yes, 287 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 2: again this is partially triggered by the fact that I'm 288 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 2: going to be in public. Like I can't tell you, 289 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 2: like it's significant for us, but for in reality it's 290 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,440 Speaker 2: not that big of a deal. But it has made 291 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:02,720 Speaker 2: me go onto this panic, which you and I were like, 292 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,760 Speaker 2: and I think I'm the one who was like, we 293 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 2: need to get out there more. I don't want to. 294 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,879 Speaker 1: You were I was like really, I mean, you were right, 295 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: but it was I was like, oh, okay. 296 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 2: Oh, so these were all the things that I'm like untying, 297 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 2: I guess and rifling through as we are approaching very 298 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,359 Speaker 2: quickly again y'all, so you'll be listening to this if 299 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 2: you listen to this on the day of the release, 300 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,919 Speaker 2: it is that following Monday. This following Monday that we 301 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 2: will be going. So today we're recording it being released 302 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 2: on August fifteenth of twenty twenty four, that following Monday 303 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 2: will be in DC. If y'all are around, let us know, 304 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:50,840 Speaker 2: I'll at us. But trying to make ourselves known and 305 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,240 Speaker 2: hopefully give good advice for others. Who want to be 306 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 2: in podcasting, and you know, we love bringing people into 307 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 2: the podcasting world. The more women the better, the more 308 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,920 Speaker 2: or marginalized people the better. We need all of the 309 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 2: voices to make this intersectional and this medium is still 310 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:14,920 Speaker 2: going strong and that's something important. So oh, for those 311 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,520 Speaker 2: of y'all who think that you've got to handle on 312 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 2: things that I am talking about, send me some advice 313 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,359 Speaker 2: because I'm struggling. 314 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:33,879 Speaker 1: Yes, yea of me too. Also, as always, I feel 315 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:40,520 Speaker 1: like we talked about this in are Are We Bad Feminists? 316 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,359 Speaker 1: We did it multiple times, but we've talked about it 317 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:47,840 Speaker 1: in several episodes. Anyway, it can look different ways whatever. 318 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:54,359 Speaker 1: It's the choice that matters and the whether or not 319 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,840 Speaker 1: you're doing it. But I do think asking why you're 320 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:01,200 Speaker 1: doing something is important. So you're that's a good You're there, somemtha. 321 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:05,080 Speaker 1: You're starting the question, yeah, which I think is very 322 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,679 Speaker 1: very important and like why are you doing something? I 323 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 1: think it's important. So, yes, listeners, if you have any 324 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: thoughts about this, If any of you do are at 325 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 1: podcast movement, reach out, come to our panel Tuesday the 326 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: twentieth at three ish three thirty ish. It's called Better 327 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:27,000 Speaker 1: Banter our friend Eves is gonna be there. It's her 328 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 1: idea from female First, so it'll be really good. It's 329 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:35,359 Speaker 1: about having a good conversation with your co host, So yeah, 330 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,879 Speaker 1: come check that out if you happen to be there, 331 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,879 Speaker 1: and if you have any thoughts about this, please enter 332 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 1: our Sex and the City contest if you're interested. We're 333 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,760 Speaker 1: hoping to do that soon. You can do that in 334 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 1: many ways. You can emails Stepanie mom stuff at iHeartMedia 335 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mostap podcast, 336 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,200 Speaker 1: or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff when Never Told You. 337 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 1: We're also on YouTube. We have a Tapolist store and 338 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: we have a book you can get wherever you get 339 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: your books. Thanks as always too, our super producer Christina, 340 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,200 Speaker 1: Executiveroducer May and our contruder Joey. Thank you and thanks 341 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,160 Speaker 1: see you for listening. Steffan Never Told You is protection 342 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,840 Speaker 1: of my Heart Radio. For more podcast from my Heart Radio, 343 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,639 Speaker 1: you can check out the Heart Radio, Apple podcast or 344 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:13,960 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.