Speaker 1: Welcome to Creature feature production of I Heart Radio. I'm
Speaker 1: your host of Many Parasites, Katie Golden. I studied psychology
Speaker 1: and evolutionary biology and Happy Creature. We everybody on this
Speaker 1: first episode of our two episodes spook Tacular, we must
Speaker 1: flee from a kiteness terror at tin like a devilish decapod,
Speaker 1: a creepy crustacean crawling closer and closer. It's attack of
Speaker 1: the killer crabs. But first a little story. Imagine you
Speaker 1: look up at the sky. It's a full moon. Wait, no,
Speaker 1: it's not, it's a waxing crescent. Oh no. You start
Speaker 1: to sweat. You feel your body transforming. Your spine crumples
Speaker 1: painfully as your arms break from your collar bones stretch
Speaker 1: and bending in front of you. As your knees snap
Speaker 1: and bend your legs forward, another set of arms sprout
Speaker 1: in front of your face, each with a set of
Speaker 1: powerful claws, and you feel yet another pair of legs
Speaker 1: pop out of your sides. Your skeleton breaks through your skin,
Speaker 1: wrapping around your soft insides until you are covered in
Speaker 1: a hard, unyielding carapace. Frightened, you try to run and
Speaker 1: find the quickest ways to scuttle sideways. You have become
Speaker 1: who where crab? Joining me today is small beans, teammates, podcasters,
Speaker 1: crabs and friends of the pod and friends to crabs,
Speaker 1: Ave Everson and Bridget Greenberg. Hey, hey, hey, I reject
Speaker 1: being a friend to crabs. But other than that, that's
Speaker 1: that's me. I think you nailed it, Katie. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was teleportedly teleported honestly, that's my new guided meditation. We
Speaker 1: are become crabs. I bring up this story of becoming
Speaker 1: a crab not just for the pure thrill of it,
Speaker 1: but because, guys, it's happening. It's happening all over everything
Speaker 1: is becoming crabs. And this is actually called carsonization. And
Speaker 1: this is the habit of evolution to keep making crabs
Speaker 1: over and over and over again. Just like so just
Speaker 1: you're you're talking, there's a term for when nature is
Speaker 1: just banging out crabs left and right. Yes, this happens
Speaker 1: so frequently it has a term carsonization. So that's just
Speaker 1: it's like, the evolution default is crabs. Evolution evolution loves
Speaker 1: a crab. It loves a crab. Crab is the best
Speaker 1: form apparently. So let me say this. There are many
Speaker 1: species of crab. It they all have a common ancestor
Speaker 1: and belong to the infraorder brac Eura, which so that's
Speaker 1: pretty normal, right, Like you have a bunch of species
Speaker 1: of like mice, you have a bunch of species of butterfly.
Speaker 1: This is not what I'm talking about. There are many
Speaker 1: species of crab, but there are separate species of crustaceans
Speaker 1: that keep turning into crabs even though they are not
Speaker 1: evolved from crabs. So oh wait, that's so like down
Speaker 1: the like genus lime of different species, it just all
Speaker 1: like goes back to crab. Is that I took biology?
Speaker 1: Is that convergent or is that divergent? Convergent evolution? You
Speaker 1: are correct, divergent? Is that really good youth adult novel
Speaker 1: Young Adults where the special girl gets to do the
Speaker 1: special things? But no, yes, convergent evolution of crabs from crustaceans.
Speaker 1: So crustaceans is a whole tax on of animals, scott
Speaker 1: lobsters in it, hermit crabs, crayfish, there's a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of crustaceans. But crustaceans keep reinventing the crab over and
Speaker 1: over again. They're independently evolved crabs, and this has happened
Speaker 1: at least five times, probably more, but we've documented it
Speaker 1: happening at least five times. So these crabs look exactly
Speaker 1: like a crab. They behave very much like a crab.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they even have reproductive systems that are extremely crab like.
Speaker 1: But they are actually more closely related to a non
Speaker 1: crab ancestor than they are too true crabs, so they're
Speaker 1: technically not crabs, even though evolution is like, ah, let's
Speaker 1: make you a crab again. Though, wow, that is that
Speaker 1: is that is And also now that the end of
Speaker 1: the time machine makes more sense. When I when everything
Speaker 1: was crabs at the end, now I get it. Everything
Speaker 1: is crabs. I mean, to be fair, we're mostly talking
Speaker 1: about crustaceans turning into crabs, so it's a long shot
Speaker 1: from humans turning into crabs, although I will not rule
Speaker 1: out I want pulling it out. Well, you know, a
Speaker 1: crescent moon comes out, you got a crab, baby, That's
Speaker 1: that's what we call the pincer moon. So examples of
Speaker 1: this happening is, first of all, king crabs a crab,
Speaker 1: were all very well accustomed to It's a crab that
Speaker 1: we love to eat. It's those big spiky, reddish, orangeish brown,
Speaker 1: long legged crabs that you know, you go to the story,
Speaker 1: you see a bunch of crab legs, these big old,
Speaker 1: juicy crab legs. That's probably a king crab. And they
Speaker 1: actually are not really crabs. They just, you know, they're
Speaker 1: just going towards the crabs singularity because they actually evolved
Speaker 1: from hermit crabs, which are not crabs. They are not crabs.
Speaker 1: They are not crabs. Hermit crabs are not a crab.
Speaker 1: They are called See naming of animals is all messed up.
Speaker 1: We'll call things that aren't things the things that they aren't.
Speaker 1: But you know, hermit crabs are a crustacean, just not
Speaker 1: technically a crab. But yeah, they just look like crabs.
Speaker 1: It's just they look like crabs. It's one of those
Speaker 1: things where I mean, it's kind of a funny distinction,
Speaker 1: right because like you have these crustaceans that are closely
Speaker 1: related to crabs, and then you have a lineage of
Speaker 1: them that all have a common ancestor, and we call
Speaker 1: those true crabs. Those are actual crabs. But then you
Speaker 1: have hermit crabs, which are related to crabs but are
Speaker 1: not crabs then independently evolved into crabs again, and we say, like,
Speaker 1: that's not that's not a real crab, even though it's
Speaker 1: basically exactly like a crab, because it's independently evolved. So
Speaker 1: it's one of those like kind of picky uh taxonomy things.
Speaker 1: It's like crab supremacy, Toko, the one true crab, the
Speaker 1: one true crabb. Ten minutes in the word crab already
Speaker 1: sounds weird to me now that there's name for that.
Speaker 1: When yeah, crab crab, Yeah, no, it's done. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: meaning has divorced itself from the word already. So it's
Speaker 1: called semantic satiation. When you're like activating the neural pathway
Speaker 1: of that word so much, your brain just starts to
Speaker 1: feel weird about it. So smart, Katie, Yeah, that's how
Speaker 1: Stanley Kubrick directs. He like tried to divorce, like he
Speaker 1: made actors do take so many times that it was
Speaker 1: so mean. He was awful. He was a crab. I
Speaker 1: think it was stan crab crab Brick, crab brick, Stanley
Speaker 1: crab Brick. Yeah, he certainly was crabby. Okay, podcast over,
Speaker 1: we lost everyone down. We've done it. We've ended the
Speaker 1: podcast now. So. Another example of one of these not
Speaker 1: exactly a crab even though it looks exactly like a
Speaker 1: crab is the porcelain crabs, which is a group of
Speaker 1: medium sized crabs, and they're actually quite pretty. They can
Speaker 1: have really nice body patterns. The spotted porcelain crab I
Speaker 1: think is particularly pretty. It kind of looks like it
Speaker 1: has a halftone print on their shell. It's kind of
Speaker 1: rose rusty, reddish color. It's very pretty. But they are
Speaker 1: not real crabs. They evolved from squat lobsters, which squatter
Speaker 1: scat lobsters. Squat lobsters. Also, I'm so sorry, guys, but
Speaker 1: squat lobsters aren't even lobsters. This is how squat lobsters
Speaker 1: are crustaceans that look a bit like flat, weird little lobsters,
Speaker 1: but they're technically not lobsters, even though they're sort of
Speaker 1: related to lobsters. But they're actually more closely related to
Speaker 1: crabs than they are to lobsters. But they are not crabs.
Speaker 1: But then they evolved into another crab even though it's
Speaker 1: technically not a crab, even though it looks exactly like
Speaker 1: a crab. Does this make any sense at all? It does.
Speaker 1: My question is, so, what what makes what traits make
Speaker 1: a true crab? Pure? True? A true crab is just
Speaker 1: you are in this evolutionary lineage where you have the
Speaker 1: common ancestor of all crabs. So there's no like specific
Speaker 1: trait where you're like, that's a crap, that's not a crab,
Speaker 1: because they all look like crabs to me. Right exactly,
Speaker 1: it does get a little bit gray area of crabs
Speaker 1: where you know, the sort of I decide movement, the
Speaker 1: big pincers and claws situated in front of the face
Speaker 1: and the legs sprawled out to the side in a
Speaker 1: vaguely sort of a squat triangular body. I think that
Speaker 1: all is sort of characteristic of a crab, even though
Speaker 1: it's not. That is not the definition of a right,
Speaker 1: but you know it is again, it's sort of it's
Speaker 1: convergent evolution of like crab form. So these these animals
Speaker 1: I'm describing, like the the King crab and the Porcelain crab,
Speaker 1: they look exactly like a crab. You would you wouldn't
Speaker 1: pick this thing up and be like, oh, it's almost
Speaker 1: like a crab. No, it's like, exactly, a crab's just
Speaker 1: little leggy rocks. Yeah. The other one is the hairy
Speaker 1: stone crab, which are small crabs that can fit in
Speaker 1: your palm. I think they're kind of cute. They look
Speaker 1: like little rocks, and they kind of have these furry
Speaker 1: little filaments all over their body. And they may have
Speaker 1: either of all from hermit crabs or like another freshwater crustacean.
Speaker 1: We're not sure where they come from. To be honest, Aliens,
Speaker 1: they are very cute. They are little palm sized crabs.
Speaker 1: They're fuzzy. Another group of crabs that are technically not crabs,
Speaker 1: even though they look very much like crabs or coconut crabs,
Speaker 1: which we're actually going to discuss in detail later. They
Speaker 1: are horrifying terrestrial crabs and they actually also evolved from
Speaker 1: hermit crabs. Very interesting, interesting crab like animals, very scary.
Speaker 1: And then, of course the other group of crabs that
Speaker 1: have evolved to look like crabs are the group of
Speaker 1: true crabs. Like so there you have five. You have
Speaker 1: the King crab, you have the porcelain crab, the Harry
Speaker 1: Stone crab, the coconut crabs, and then the true crabs,
Speaker 1: the real the o G crabs, Harry Stone That's all
Speaker 1: I can think of. Now, were they a crab? No,
Speaker 1: they were a very as you would expect if you
Speaker 1: pictured a man name Harry Stone. Was a very like
Speaker 1: religious Jewish man. Right, Um was crabby? I mean he
Speaker 1: didn't leave candy out on Halloween. Yeah, well I've canceled.
Speaker 1: I've canceled the podcast twice with that pun. I don't
Speaker 1: know how I did it. I brought the podcast back
Speaker 1: from the dead to make the crabby pun again, killing
Speaker 1: it twice, you know. I mean, it's gonna it's gonna
Speaker 1: come up and you can't leave it on the table.
Speaker 1: He can't. He can't. I'd get I feel like, I
Speaker 1: don't know how if I'd get more complaints from not
Speaker 1: using the crabby pun or complaints for using it. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with what my heart tells me. And
Speaker 1: it's too um hurt people by using the crabby puny
Speaker 1: live your best life, man? You do you? Actually? This
Speaker 1: whole episode is inspired by a tweet which I love.
Speaker 1: Someone found out about carsonization. This is from Amys Pumpkins,
Speaker 1: which I think is just the spooky Halloween name at
Speaker 1: Cablenet Jumper, who writes crustaceans have evolved into the shape
Speaker 1: of a crab at least five independent times. I do
Speaker 1: not like this, and so that's kind of a viral tweet.
Speaker 1: But in response to that, at Charlotte magnum p I writes,
Speaker 1: the arc of the universe is long, but it bends
Speaker 1: towards crab. I like crabs. I like I like everything
Speaker 1: about crabs. Bridget you don't like crabs, you're mentioning, right, Yes,
Speaker 1: I've had several uh crab encounters, and none of them
Speaker 1: are positive. I don't know how many times you've interacted
Speaker 1: with crabs. But it's not it's not it's not great.
Speaker 1: One I lost a friend's hermit crab, which is not
Speaker 1: a crab, so I no longer feel bad about it.
Speaker 1: If you asked me to babysit them, I don't know why.
Speaker 1: It's probably become a cryptod like gotten huge and become
Speaker 1: a cryptod. Oh, it still lives in that house, for sure.
Speaker 1: But there were there were crabs everywhere growing up in Florida.
Speaker 1: They just are around and there truly there was one.
Speaker 1: I think I've talked about this at Nauseam, but there is.
Speaker 1: There was one that lived by my locker in high school.
Speaker 1: This was a terrestrial crab, which I want to mention
Speaker 1: to the listeners. Yes, land crabs exist. Crabs can be
Speaker 1: on land. There are a number of terrestrial crab species
Speaker 1: in Florida. Some king quite large. Yeah, they're they're big.
Speaker 1: They're big old crabs. And there was one and he
Speaker 1: lived by my locker and anytime I would have to
Speaker 1: like get my book super quickly because he was very territorial.
Speaker 1: I'm gendering this crab, but he was mean to me.
Speaker 1: Anytime it saw me, it would like run at me
Speaker 1: in the awkward tiny crab way with its pinchers up
Speaker 1: and try to get me, uh not cute. It bullied me.
Speaker 1: And then there are if you like walk on grass
Speaker 1: in Florida, they're often um just like crab holes, like
Speaker 1: yeah they dig burrows. Yeah, they dig burrows. So especially
Speaker 1: if you have tiny child feet like I had, uh
Speaker 1: when I was a tiny child, you would trip into these,
Speaker 1: uh crab holes and in Florida were wearing flip flops
Speaker 1: and they would just go for your toes. Yeah, give
Speaker 1: you a pinch. I mean, imagine if someone shoved their
Speaker 1: foot in your house. Yeah, but you know my house
Speaker 1: isn't I picked up from my house as in a
Speaker 1: trap for tiny child feet, you know. Also, I mean
Speaker 1: on the Halloween theme. I remember very specifically one of
Speaker 1: these times I tripped into a crab hole. It was
Speaker 1: Halloween and I was tripping into a crab hole. You
Speaker 1: know you're talking about actual crabs. Sorry, go ahead, Yes,
Speaker 1: And I was dressed as SpongeBob and the crab bit me.
Speaker 1: I was dressed as SpongeBob, and the irony was too
Speaker 1: strong and I don't like it, and it was very
Speaker 1: embarrassing and it was very painful. Bridget was bullied by
Speaker 1: crabs growing up. That's um, they followed me. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: pretty rough. I'm sad to hear that I grew up
Speaker 1: in California. I've been in California my whole wife, and
Speaker 1: so I didn't I don't have a lot of crab access,
Speaker 1: you know, but I find my whole life. I found
Speaker 1: very ugly things super cute, like I love spiders. I
Speaker 1: want to smush those little faces. Crabs are very spider like.
Speaker 1: I'll have to have you on an episode where I
Speaker 1: gush about how much I love jumping spiders. I love
Speaker 1: I love trapdoors. Spiders too cute, They're so cute. I
Speaker 1: love the spider that fills in San Diego had the
Speaker 1: one where it puts dirt on its face because it's
Speaker 1: scared of the world. Total it's it's great energy. I
Speaker 1: love spider energy. Speaking of spiders, While I don't think
Speaker 1: that carsonization refers to this, I think it is interesting
Speaker 1: because the crab like form happens outside of the taxon
Speaker 1: of crustaceans in spiders. So some spiders have evolved into
Speaker 1: a more crab like shape, which is very inventively called
Speaker 1: crab spiders horrifying named because how their body layout is
Speaker 1: similar to a crab, including their leg placement and how
Speaker 1: they scuttle from side to side. Bridgets have in a moment, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know why that that deeply disturbed me,
Speaker 1: and I don't. I was looking at this thing before
Speaker 1: kind of and I was like, Oh, that's kind of
Speaker 1: cool looking, and now now I don't like it. I
Speaker 1: don't like it. It's jointed legs. There's too many joints
Speaker 1: on the legs. I don't like. It's normal spider stuff.
Speaker 1: It's just the arrangement of the legs is more crab like,
Speaker 1: especially in terms of like the way that those those
Speaker 1: front legs are kind of held out at its side
Speaker 1: and in front. So it truly did bother me until
Speaker 1: you begun describing it, and then I had a very
Speaker 1: visceral reaction too. I hate this. Yeah, it's pretty, It
Speaker 1: is very pretty. This is actually a flower crab spider
Speaker 1: which mimics a white flower to lure prey into a
Speaker 1: false sense of security. It's a little thing. It's very tiny,
Speaker 1: about the size of like a thumbnail, maybe slightly bigger sometimes,
Speaker 1: but it's just arranged. It's hard for me to explain exactly,
Speaker 1: but it is arranged like a crab, but it is
Speaker 1: a spider. It's like you took a crab mold and
Speaker 1: put a spider in it and just like pressed it
Speaker 1: in there and turned it into a crab. There. It
Speaker 1: has the face of a pokemon. It looks like a
Speaker 1: orchid to me. I mean, I understand why they call
Speaker 1: it the lovely flower spider crab. It's just interesting because
Speaker 1: again it's independently evolved these crab like features because probably
Speaker 1: it's very useful for it to be able to quickly
Speaker 1: escape predator is by scuttling from side to side while
Speaker 1: being able to kind of pick up its prey with
Speaker 1: those those front legs mammals with our two bipedal movement,
Speaker 1: or you know, with four legs, let's kick it up
Speaker 1: a notch. Right, Well, you can just like start grabbing things,
Speaker 1: that's true. That get a couple of those. Remember those
Speaker 1: like dinosaur grabbers where you they were like on a
Speaker 1: stick and then you'd like squeeze a button in the
Speaker 1: little dinosaur grippy things would like grab things. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: guys want to talking about Yeah, just get a couple
Speaker 1: of those, and then crab walk around, yeah, every every night.
Speaker 1: This is me, your man crab, And that's how the
Speaker 1: evolutionary thing happens. The car I only said carcinogen, but
Speaker 1: that's not right. It's carsonization. It's the reason you're confusing
Speaker 1: it with carcinogen is cancer. The word for you know,
Speaker 1: the disease is also the same root word for crab cancer,
Speaker 1: which is why why is that we think of them
Speaker 1: as a cancer upon the landscape, But fact I am
Speaker 1: a cancer. So this whole thing comes all you mean,
Speaker 1: like your zodiac not not that you're like being really
Speaker 1: rude towards yourself. No, no, I'm not, uh yeah, doing
Speaker 1: that Okay. It comes from the Greek word meaning crab,
Speaker 1: which also means tumor. I wonder if it's because crabs
Speaker 1: are lumpy. Yeah, maybe that's why etymologists and entomologists get
Speaker 1: at me. Actually, intomologists doesn't really work because that's not
Speaker 1: necessarily crabs ain't bugs. No, they ain't bugs. Crabs ain't bugs.
Speaker 1: Crabs is not insects, even though they are both arthropods.
Speaker 1: I think it's charming that, like well charming and alarming,
Speaker 1: creep creepy, scary that these spiders are sort of like
Speaker 1: becoming more crab. Another one is the green crab spider,
Speaker 1: which is green shaped vaguely like a crab. And there
Speaker 1: is a photo of one of these guys. So their
Speaker 1: abdomens can have like brown and yellow and white and
Speaker 1: red colorations on them, and sometimes there's like variation in coloration,
Speaker 1: and this individual looks like it has a creepy clown face.
Speaker 1: I haven't been able to find any other green crab
Speaker 1: spiders with the same coloration, so this may just be
Speaker 1: a special uh special little boy, little boy, or or
Speaker 1: just like this is it? This isn't it? You know,
Speaker 1: like how how it becomes like clown spiders, and this
Speaker 1: is just that's true. That's pennywise becomes like a spider, right, yea, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is sort of a tangent because this spider does
Speaker 1: not look like a crab. But if you want a
Speaker 1: spider that almost always has like a cool clown face
Speaker 1: on it, it is the Hawaiian happy face spider. And
Speaker 1: it's abdomen has this happy face on it with a
Speaker 1: big smiling red mouth, too little dots for eyes, and
Speaker 1: then it looks like little slightly concerned eyebrows. I find
Speaker 1: it really cute. Like people are like, oh, it's creepy,
Speaker 1: creepy clown. I think it's kind of cute. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's that's super cute. He kind of looks in fighting
Speaker 1: and like ready to party. I kind of like it.
Speaker 1: I mean his face is actually on his real faces.
Speaker 1: On the opposite end, it just looks like when you
Speaker 1: look at it, he kind of looks like I'm run
Speaker 1: at a party. Yeah, it looks like spider, right, And
Speaker 1: the back legs, which are kind of bent backwards, look
Speaker 1: like little arms kind of raising like raising the roof. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that spider could get me to take shots with it.
Speaker 1: I would take I think of how cute it would
Speaker 1: be if you were to take the two middle two
Speaker 1: legs on each side and just yank those right out
Speaker 1: of there. Oh my god, what the hell? Yeah, it
Speaker 1: would be like you psychopath they have They have got
Speaker 1: like a little fans. It looks like a cartoon, like
Speaker 1: a drawing that I would make as a kid, like
Speaker 1: where you didn't really know how to draw bodies. So
Speaker 1: it's just like, yeah, exactly, if you think it's cute
Speaker 1: with all its legs, please leave them on. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna I'm not gonna rip off legs as spiders. Monster
Speaker 1: real monster was Abe all along? Team crab, your team crab.
Speaker 1: Getting back to crabs. One though, is you know why
Speaker 1: pubic lice are called crabs. I was going to ask
Speaker 1: this question, Yeah, pubic life. They are little tiny Arthur
Speaker 1: pods that are you know? They are a big new
Speaker 1: since they get in your hair and cause a lot
Speaker 1: of itching and problems. They are shaped vaguely like a crab.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit of a stretch to me, but
Speaker 1: I see it. I see the crab shape of them,
Speaker 1: and that's why they're called crabs because I would imagine
Speaker 1: they look like lice, which do you like crabs. No,
Speaker 1: they look pretty crab like. I was gonna google it
Speaker 1: on my own, but then I got scared. You're very brave. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's kind of it's kind of got a
Speaker 1: little bit of the crab shape. Yeah, I see it.
Speaker 1: I also don't like it because it looks like there's
Speaker 1: hair coming out of it too. And yeah, it's got
Speaker 1: bristles on it, which is always bristle. Bristles can be cute,
Speaker 1: but they can also not be cute. I think it
Speaker 1: depends on sort of the orientation and density of the bristles. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you need a lot more for it to be cute.
Speaker 1: I wish everybody could see the because like the face
Speaker 1: part I assume of the crab. If it's just that
Speaker 1: it looks like a guy, yeah, like extending his arms out.
Speaker 1: He's like, what, it looks amazing. We'll include I'll include
Speaker 1: a picture, a safer work picture in the show notes
Speaker 1: of the Pubic Life. Yeah, the Pubic Life gotta involuntary
Speaker 1: twitch for me. Elicit at that response. So I don't
Speaker 1: like it. I think its name isn't doing it any
Speaker 1: favors either. But anyways, the point of all this is
Speaker 1: to say that nature loves a crab and loves a
Speaker 1: crab shape, and keeps turning crustaceans and even some arthropods
Speaker 1: into crab shapes. And it makes me wonder like, if
Speaker 1: there's aliens out there, maybe they two would prefer the
Speaker 1: ultimate form, the purest form, the best form, the crab form,
Speaker 1: the yes the crab a verse verse. I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: having an exo skeleton makes more sense than being soft
Speaker 1: on the outside. But I mean, there are a lot
Speaker 1: of rustaceans that have a hard carapace. It's just that
Speaker 1: they seem to keep going into that crab shape. They
Speaker 1: love it. I mean, more legs equals faster, right again though,
Speaker 1: like they have this. It's not that they grow more legs,
Speaker 1: it's that the specific shape, this like sort of triangular
Speaker 1: side stepper with the big claws in the front and
Speaker 1: the legs split out to the sides like that is
Speaker 1: they they love it. They love the crab shape, this
Speaker 1: very specific crab shape. It's so weird because crabs move
Speaker 1: so awkwardly and like like like clums It doesn't seem
Speaker 1: like it's an easy way to move, right, They're not agile.
Speaker 1: Well when you think about it though, so crabs can
Speaker 1: move forward and backwards and diagonally, although not as easily
Speaker 1: as they can move from side to side. But if
Speaker 1: you think about it, like if they're evading predators that
Speaker 1: move forwards and backwards mostly and the crabs just zip
Speaker 1: off to the side. Aid, it's like they're they're playing
Speaker 1: like for d chess. You know, they're like moving to
Speaker 1: the side when you're moving front and back. They're a
Speaker 1: different plane, right, I mean, it's like what you always
Speaker 1: shout in horror movies when someone's like running away from
Speaker 1: like a giant boulder or a giant like a tree
Speaker 1: falling down, or an airplane or like a monster. It's
Speaker 1: like they're always running in a straight line when it's
Speaker 1: like no zig zag, like dart off to the side,
Speaker 1: like that's a legit strategy. Yeah, they just it's a
Speaker 1: super awkward way of moving again again and it works.
Speaker 1: Like again, like if you're Indiana Jones and giant boulder
Speaker 1: is rolling towards you, like why running a straight line?
Speaker 1: Run to the side, ding dong. That is true. And
Speaker 1: we did learn in uh Florida public schools how do
Speaker 1: you avoid gator attacks? And they don't have good peripheral vision,
Speaker 1: so you are supposed to like get around trap off
Speaker 1: the way exactly, so you know many is this is
Speaker 1: why I think that we should become crabs. Just putting
Speaker 1: out there, we'll see well, by the end of this,
Speaker 1: I think I'll convert you into crab people. Crab people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been bitten and I've been or pinched enough times
Speaker 1: that you know I should have the DNA woman. Your
Speaker 1: superpower is scuttling from side to side very fast and
Speaker 1: being able to pick things up and put them in
Speaker 1: your mouth with great ease. Yes, I do like yeah,
Speaker 1: like that, And of course the pinching and the pinching
Speaker 1: Carsonization isn't always skin deep. Crab like crustaceans that evolved
Speaker 1: independently can share many things with crabs. Aside from looks
Speaker 1: such as reproductive organ similarity and similarities and sexual dimorphism
Speaker 1: that is, the defining differences between the males and the females,
Speaker 1: there could even be similarities down to the circulatory in
Speaker 1: neurological systems. If it crawls like a crab and like
Speaker 1: a crab, it isn't in fact necessarily a true crab.
Speaker 1: When we return, you may want to head for high
Speaker 1: ground to escape these monsters. But that won't help you
Speaker 1: escape our most horrifying len crabs. What are crabs covered
Speaker 1: in kitan? Of course, an exoskeleton that protects and armors
Speaker 1: their soft bodies. Imagine if our skeletons were on the outside.
Speaker 1: Who spooky skeletons. So, now that we know that the
Speaker 1: universe prefers a crab, let's talk about some some crabs,
Speaker 1: some of the coolest crabs. Some of these are true crabs,
Speaker 1: some of these are very crab like crustaceans. But first
Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about terrestrial crabs. Your favorite fine bridget
Speaker 1: can come on land and cuddle EO with their pian chers.
Speaker 1: They all live in my business. So first, appropriately, let's
Speaker 1: talk about Halloween crabs, and that is exactly what they
Speaker 1: are called. They are called Halloween crabs. I love these
Speaker 1: these little dudes so much. They are so cute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're cool. They are very cool. They look like they
Speaker 1: come from hot topic or like what's the what's the
Speaker 1: pop up Halloween shop? Halloween Spirit or Halloween Spirit. It's
Speaker 1: very hot topic, Halloween Spirit. These are land crabs found
Speaker 1: in mangrove and rainforests on the Pacific coast from Mexico
Speaker 1: to Panama. They are adorable, spooky little halloweeny crabs. They
Speaker 1: have bright orange legs, purple claws, a black carapace with
Speaker 1: two booky yellow spots on top. So like when you're
Speaker 1: looking at it head on, it looks like a jack
Speaker 1: o lantern, even though those yellow spots are not actually
Speaker 1: it's eyes. It's got like these two yellow spots and
Speaker 1: then like a yellow spot in the middle, and so
Speaker 1: it looks like a jack o lantern. Yeah, it really
Speaker 1: does remind me of like party city version of like
Speaker 1: um getting a Halloween costume where they're like off brand
Speaker 1: and the colors are wrong, like they just threw a
Speaker 1: bunch of things together and said, yeah, that's a cool
Speaker 1: reverse jack O' lantern where where the pumpkin is black
Speaker 1: and the eyes and the orange and of course the
Speaker 1: jack land's purple arms. Yes, of course you can't forget
Speaker 1: about those. It's also this is a very shiny picture,
Speaker 1: so I don't know if that's why, but it kind
Speaker 1: of looks like a balloon, Like it looks like one
Speaker 1: of those Milar balloons. Yes, yes, I want to smush
Speaker 1: its face, like off color Milar balloon of a jack o' lantern,
Speaker 1: like with like someone made a printing error and ingust
Speaker 1: the colors and like, uh yeah, and then I'm just
Speaker 1: realizing sort of, um uh it's underbelly like where actually
Speaker 1: it's mouth parts are um, that's all orange and so
Speaker 1: it kind of that part looks like a big grinning
Speaker 1: smile like a jack o' lantern again, like inverse an
Speaker 1: inverse jack o lantern with a big orange smile and
Speaker 1: then sort of yellow eyes and a yellow nose. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fun. This is very spooky, very but spooking a
Speaker 1: very cute way, sort of a Tim Burton spooky, very
Speaker 1: nightmare before Christmas kind of crab. Yeah. And they are
Speaker 1: a little little tiny dude, so they're pretty cute. They
Speaker 1: only grow to be a couple of inches big. They're
Speaker 1: about five centimeters big. Um, and they are They just
Speaker 1: like to munch on vegetation found in leaf litter and
Speaker 1: burrow in little holes. So uh, they're I think they're
Speaker 1: pretty cute. This is I feel like this would be
Speaker 1: a fun surprise, like you up over Halloween, crab Borough
Speaker 1: and it just like pops out and it's like, yahoo,
Speaker 1: those are some big Those are big claws. Though there
Speaker 1: are swords to its body size. I mean, remember this
Speaker 1: is only a couple of inches big, so it's going
Speaker 1: to be like one of those clauses, maybe the size
Speaker 1: of pinky. So yeah, that's too bad. Not too bad. Um,
Speaker 1: And they live completely on land and they only returned
Speaker 1: to the ocean to breed like a lot of terrestrial crabs.
Speaker 1: Horny as crabs. Speaking of horny crabs, let's talk about
Speaker 1: Christmas Island crabs. That too many nightmare before Christmas crab
Speaker 1: action going on. That is a frenk island. I'm looking
Speaker 1: at a frenk island. That's too many. I don't have
Speaker 1: the island. I don't like when there are too many things.
Speaker 1: It could be anything if there are too many, and
Speaker 1: like even puppies, I'm just like, that's too many. Let
Speaker 1: me explain to the listener why Bridget and Ave are
Speaker 1: having a meltdown here. Christmas Island crabs flood the land
Speaker 1: with a writhing, living sea of crabs in their migration
Speaker 1: to and from the ocean during breeding season. So h
Speaker 1: there are these I didn't like. I didn't like it,
Speaker 1: but it's aft, it's aft. So as adults they grow
Speaker 1: to be about five inches, which is about eleven centimeters.
Speaker 1: They are bright red and they're called Christmas Island crabs
Speaker 1: because they live on Christmas Island and Cocos Island in
Speaker 1: the Indian Ocean. Um, they are terrestrial crabs. They like
Speaker 1: to live in forests and basically they will eat any
Speaker 1: organic material they find. It's often again like leaf litter,
Speaker 1: little organic bits, but they will eat like avenge, like
Speaker 1: dead bugs or dead rodents and stuff. Sometimes they only
Speaker 1: returned to the sea to breed, which they do an
Speaker 1: absolutely massive quantities. Millions and millions of them will go
Speaker 1: in a mass migration. They follow the phases of the
Speaker 1: moon to guide their annual migration back to the sea,
Speaker 1: usually in the fall or winter. And I think the
Speaker 1: reason for this is tides, Like they want to get
Speaker 1: there at a good time for the tides because if
Speaker 1: they're mating and releasing their eggs, they wanted to kind
Speaker 1: of align all good with that. Um. I'm not sure
Speaker 1: if that's true, but that would be my guess, um
Speaker 1: instinctual kind of right exactly. Or they're witches or their
Speaker 1: witches or where crabs. Again, we've established that a real
Speaker 1: very real wouldn't really be oh would it. It would
Speaker 1: be like little little clack clack clack. Yeah, could turn
Speaker 1: into bad crab SMR. Welcome to my new genneral crab
Speaker 1: SMR just got some fine normal SMR worm. These ones
Speaker 1: look like these look very sebastian esque to me. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're bright red classic crab. This is classic crab. Is
Speaker 1: exactly like cartoon crab. Yeah, is this true a true crab?
Speaker 1: This is a true crab. It really is crab classic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's a Mr Crabs kind of Yeah, exactly. I'd
Speaker 1: let this crab run my burger joint. Yes. And so
Speaker 1: the spectacle of millions of crabs marching into the sea
Speaker 1: is as incredible as you might think. It's a literal
Speaker 1: flood of crabs swarming the streets, the sidewalks and crawl
Speaker 1: all over everything to get back to their ocean. To
Speaker 1: have a giant crab orgy. Um. Roads have to be
Speaker 1: closed to protect the crabs because and I assume also
Speaker 1: your car because like that you don't want to it's
Speaker 1: mostly to protect the crabs. But again, like you don't
Speaker 1: want to run over like a bunch of crabs. That's
Speaker 1: no good, that's not good for the undercard that could
Speaker 1: Papa tire, and the crabs try to make this migration
Speaker 1: as quickly as possible so they don't dry out. Now,
Speaker 1: while crabs can live on land, they actually don't have
Speaker 1: lungs like a lot of terrestrial animals. They have gills
Speaker 1: that still require moisture for gas exchange to occur. So basically,
Speaker 1: as long as they're gill stlets are kind of moist
Speaker 1: which I love talking about moist gill slets. What asks
Speaker 1: gill stlets um, then oxygen can sort of dissolve into
Speaker 1: the the moisture around their gill stlets and they can
Speaker 1: uh read that in and so they scuttle. They scuttle
Speaker 1: as fast as they can go. The migration can take
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks um. Human activity has to heat
Speaker 1: and bear witness to all the crabs at this time.
Speaker 1: It there's simply too much crabs to just go about
Speaker 1: business as usual. Once they're at the ocean, the males
Speaker 1: create burrows, and actually the males usually get there before
Speaker 1: the females. Am I right, a regressive crab huma, so
Speaker 1: that gives them extra time to build these burrows and
Speaker 1: then the females will arrive. Males kind of compete for
Speaker 1: the females, and then they mate inside the burrows, and
Speaker 1: then the females will stay there while the males return
Speaker 1: to the island, and the females stay in these burrows
Speaker 1: for a few days, protecting their eggs in a brood sack,
Speaker 1: and when they're ready, they will scuttle over to the
Speaker 1: ocean and do what looks like this sort of jigglie
Speaker 1: dance with their like claws, race in the air and
Speaker 1: they're just like shutowing dance, and that's actually to deposit
Speaker 1: their eggs into the ocean. And there's a lot of
Speaker 1: eggs and a lot of crabs doing this at the
Speaker 1: same time, so you can probably imagine what that looks like.
Speaker 1: I just a lot, a lot, a lot of a
Speaker 1: lot of eggs. I think I decided what the party
Speaker 1: crab was too soon. I mean that was a spider.
Speaker 1: I mean we got a party spider and these are
Speaker 1: the party crabs. Can you imagine if like that's how
Speaker 1: we gave birth and just like at a party, like
Speaker 1: baby baby, baby baby. Honestly, I would prefer that, I
Speaker 1: think from from right, just shooting babies out, just being
Speaker 1: like look how far like go along, go along? Let's
Speaker 1: shoot this baby out. From what I understand of birth,
Speaker 1: that seems like a more pleasant experiences fun. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: like that. But the females will also return to the
Speaker 1: island once they have laid their eggs. And I always,
Speaker 1: I always love an animal that's not similar Paris, meaning
Speaker 1: these do not just breed once. It's kind of nice
Speaker 1: that they go on this adventure, lay their eggs and
Speaker 1: then they go back to their lives. Like it's always
Speaker 1: sad to me when there's like a big spawning event,
Speaker 1: like with salmon, there's a huge spawning event and then
Speaker 1: the salmon just die. It just seems really tragic to me.
Speaker 1: So these crabs, though, they lost a good amount of time,
Speaker 1: so they'll they'll return back to the island smoke a cigarette,
Speaker 1: get back to the collective island. Just a huge waft
Speaker 1: of smoke comes up. There are so many pictures of
Speaker 1: crabs holding cigarettes, and it's sad because it's litter, but
Speaker 1: it is funny because they talk every time. It's hilarious.
Speaker 1: It's it's yeah, I mean, these are truly Yeah, they
Speaker 1: have Like I like that they have like a month
Speaker 1: off work to go party on the island. They do
Speaker 1: a little dance, A little dance. Yeah, leave they have
Speaker 1: a big orgy. It's awkward because they probably run into
Speaker 1: some of their crab coworkers. That what happens at the
Speaker 1: Christmas Island crab orgies stays at the Christmas Island crab orgy.
Speaker 1: It's crab rub springer, but it happens. And just think
Speaker 1: about like how dense this area is. Like so you're
Speaker 1: freaking and you like look over and you're like, oh, hey,
Speaker 1: what's up, Dave. They do they do actually breed inside
Speaker 1: the burrows, so there's a little bit of privacy there,
Speaker 1: so all right, but they lay their eggs all together,
Speaker 1: so it's like, you know, it's just like hey, girl
Speaker 1: and then just like splorching out a bunch of Yes,
Speaker 1: the propriety of crabs big birthday party. So so story
Speaker 1: over right, You got your mating, your mass migration story
Speaker 1: just beginning. When there's a mass mating event and these
Speaker 1: are terrestrial crabs, what happens to the babies? You guys
Speaker 1: have the babies, so many millions and millions and babies
Speaker 1: the children's Yeah, actually a lot of them will get
Speaker 1: eaten that you know, all's fair and mass mating a
Speaker 1: lot of them will survive, and they actually go through
Speaker 1: larval stages in the ocean, and after about a month
Speaker 1: they returned to the shore, molting into tiny crabs, just know,
Speaker 1: itty bitty baby crabs about five millimeters big, real, itty bitty,
Speaker 1: about the size of like a thumbnail. And these little
Speaker 1: babies begin a mass migration to the island. And I
Speaker 1: mean there's something about like, when you see the mass
Speaker 1: migration of the adult crabs, it's like, okay, yeah, like
Speaker 1: a bunch of crabs. There's something I guess a little
Speaker 1: bit weird about it, a little maybe intimidating. But with
Speaker 1: the baby crabs, it is just a carpet of millions
Speaker 1: and millions of bright red, itty bitty crabs, and it's
Speaker 1: hard to even tell what you're looking at. It just
Speaker 1: looks like a furry, giant, furry moving carpet, letting down
Speaker 1: like storm drains and crawling over sidewalk. I remember this
Speaker 1: video of this, like little kittie sitting on the sidewalk,
Speaker 1: scooping up baby crabs and like trying to like it
Speaker 1: was like trying to eat them. But I think it
Speaker 1: just got so overwhelmed. It was like staring at this
Speaker 1: red sea of baby crabs, and the cat I could
Speaker 1: tell was having an existential crisis. I have just one.
Speaker 1: I imagine the Indiana Jones and the Ants scene in
Speaker 1: the Crystal Skull on where they just devour everything that
Speaker 1: they just walked through behind shell. Yeah, because you said
Speaker 1: they're like millimeters, So if there's millions of them and
Speaker 1: they're like walking over each other, it's just yeah, like
Speaker 1: you said, like a wave of crab. Fortunately, they're mostly
Speaker 1: focused on reaching the forest so they can kind of
Speaker 1: hide under the leaf litter and get n some moisture
Speaker 1: and get some security. A lot of them will die
Speaker 1: on the journey and fortunately, um, they can't skeletalize account. No,
Speaker 1: I'm kidding, they can't do that. Actually, speaking of ants,
Speaker 1: the real horror story is that there are these things
Speaker 1: called yellow crazy ants that I mean, that's just like
Speaker 1: literally their name, and they are an invasive species on
Speaker 1: these islands and they are actually threatening the crab population.
Speaker 1: Although this may be a case where there's just so
Speaker 1: many crabs that there's just no way that the ants
Speaker 1: can win, which so I'm rooting. I'm rooting for the crabs.
Speaker 1: When it's crab versus ant, I root for the crabs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: ants are kind of op to yah for biomass man ants.
Speaker 1: He can't beat him. Yeah, there, their organization is scarier
Speaker 1: than these crabs. But this baby crab, it's it's it's
Speaker 1: like a reverse sea turtle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's actually yeah,
Speaker 1: I like that too. They're like reverse to turtles and
Speaker 1: to me, honestly, just as cute, maybe more intimidating a
Speaker 1: threatening aura because of how many they are, but cute also.
Speaker 1: I but I went to watch sea Turtles hatch when
Speaker 1: I was a kid, and I was like, no, that's
Speaker 1: too many. We gotta go. We got I know they're
Speaker 1: they're real cute, and I'm wishing them all the best,
Speaker 1: but Rusphoria, but there are too many of you, and
Speaker 1: it's it's just it's like little zombies coming out of
Speaker 1: the ground. And like part of me this sounds weird,
Speaker 1: I understand, but part of me just wants to lie
Speaker 1: down in the path of these Christmas Island crabs and
Speaker 1: let them crawl all over me. And we're like, I'm
Speaker 1: covered in little crab puppies. Yeah, because they got like
Speaker 1: they've got a plan. They you know, you're not a
Speaker 1: part of their plans. So they're probably not gonna do anything.
Speaker 1: I might get little pinchies from like little baby crabs,
Speaker 1: but the hurt me. Although it is You're right, it
Speaker 1: is a little intimidating. I'm looking at the top image
Speaker 1: that you're showing, and there's a kind of a retaining
Speaker 1: wall that they're keeping get them away from the streets
Speaker 1: so that the crabs don't get run over by cars.
Speaker 1: But you can tell in the distance crabs are climbing
Speaker 1: on top of crabs, on top of crabs in order
Speaker 1: to get in. It's like that scene in World War
Speaker 1: Z A zombies are climbing on top of each other,
Speaker 1: and they're actually people that have to like sweep the
Speaker 1: crabs off the road, both for the crab safety and
Speaker 1: for to allow cars to pass, so which just like
Speaker 1: sweeping all these crabs off, just very casually. It's like
Speaker 1: cane toads in Australia, Oh, kane toads, though those aren't
Speaker 1: cute at all. I have I have a brudge against
Speaker 1: cane toads because they're an invasive species that threatened the
Speaker 1: beautiful qual Anyways, that's another episode. Actually we did that
Speaker 1: in an invasive species episode, so check that out to
Speaker 1: find out why why cane toads are such a nightmare
Speaker 1: fascinating story. Speaking of nightmare ers, though, while Christmas Island
Speaker 1: crabs have sheer numbers on their side, coconut crabs are
Speaker 1: uncomfortably chunky and big. Yeah. A picture of a coconut
Speaker 1: crab on a trash can, and it's like it's a
Speaker 1: trashed around this trash can. Yeah, it's like the size
Speaker 1: of a trash can lid. Hell yeahs horrified. No, I
Speaker 1: actually mentioned this crab earlier talking about carsonization, because these
Speaker 1: are not true crabs. They are evolved from hermit crabs,
Speaker 1: and boy did they evolve because they are big, big, old.
Speaker 1: That's when I remember of my friend's hermit crab lost.
Speaker 1: Oh man, they look like face huggers, but like, yeah,
Speaker 1: well yeah, they do look like face face huggers, but like,
Speaker 1: imagine a face hugger that's like maybe six times the size,
Speaker 1: yeah of your face. Yeah head crabs from Half Life
Speaker 1: two and Half Life one exposed to the half Life's Yeah.
Speaker 1: So these are found on coastal habitats and islands across
Speaker 1: the Indian Ocean and Pacific Ocean. They are the largest
Speaker 1: terrestrial arthropod in the world. Uh, they have these big
Speaker 1: hard shells and colors ranging from brown to burgundy to blue,
Speaker 1: kind of modeled with some like lighter colors. Uh, it'd
Speaker 1: be kind of it'd be kind of pretty if they weren't,
Speaker 1: you know, so horrifying, if they weren't about like six
Speaker 1: times too big. Yeah, And it's not just their size,
Speaker 1: it's like there they look beefy. Their muscular how do
Speaker 1: you know how much like one of these would weigh
Speaker 1: which they weigh up to about nine pounds, which is
Speaker 1: four kilograms, and they reach a span of about three
Speaker 1: ft from foot to foot, so that's about one meter.
Speaker 1: That's like a that's a big human baby. That's a
Speaker 1: big human baby. Also, don't leave your human babies around
Speaker 1: these tiny dog ground that eating about the way length. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're kind of like, yeah, it's something. It's uncomfortable. It's
Speaker 1: an uncomfortable looking animal. They are hunky and chunky and
Speaker 1: ready to rumble. They actually Darwin just called them monstrous,
Speaker 1: makes sense. They have giant meaty claws, just big, big, big, wow,
Speaker 1: big claws. They like other land crabs. They are scavengers
Speaker 1: and they'll basically scavenge on anything, fruits, leaves dead bodies
Speaker 1: the worst thing you could have said. Yes, they will
Speaker 1: eat carrion. They're also called Robert crabs because they love
Speaker 1: to steal things that they find on the ground, settle
Speaker 1: off with it, and like possibly eat it. Um. Sometimes
Speaker 1: they kill live birds if the bird is not fast enough,
Speaker 1: and slowly eat them alive. Yeah, I mean, these guys
Speaker 1: can bully most things pretty well. Their claws are so beefcakes.
Speaker 1: They have incredible force with a grip of three hundred Newton's,
Speaker 1: which is ten times stronger than a human's grip. They
Speaker 1: can literally break bones with this grip. They can, and
Speaker 1: that's how they can eat dead bodies, like carrying and
Speaker 1: just like crunch the bone. In fact, there's a conspiracy
Speaker 1: theory that coconut crabs dismembered Amelia Earhart's body after she died.
Speaker 1: Basic This is based on there was a badly fractured
Speaker 1: and dismembered skeleton found on nickumarro Ro Island near where
Speaker 1: she had crashed. This it's impossible to know this is true,
Speaker 1: but it's just speculated. Like if she died there and
Speaker 1: coconut crabs who lived there like came across her body,
Speaker 1: they could potentially dismember her and carry off her body
Speaker 1: parts and eat them, which maybe why like different parts
Speaker 1: of the skeleton are found in different places and seems
Speaker 1: to be badly fractured. Do you guys know the actor
Speaker 1: Michael chicklists, he's from the shed or the you know
Speaker 1: the thing, uh, the original. He's a beefy, bald headed guy.
Speaker 1: This crab the Michael chicklists of the crab Kingdom. Baby
Speaker 1: coconut crabs are actually kind of cute. They really show
Speaker 1: you how they evolved from hermit crabs because when they're
Speaker 1: small that they actually hide in land snail shells until
Speaker 1: they grow big and strong with hard carapaces and claws
Speaker 1: so that they can at that point defend themselves. But
Speaker 1: when they're little babies, they just kind of look like
Speaker 1: hermit crabs. It always comes back to snails on this podcast.
Speaker 1: Something so endearing about animal king like the co opting
Speaker 1: of like, well, I'm just gonna like how opportunistic but
Speaker 1: que like, oh I found a little thing, uh and
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, the shell of a different thing,
Speaker 1: but that's my house. Now. Why why grow your own
Speaker 1: shell and you can lease it? Yeah? Exactly, exactly, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just written my friend's hermit crabs. She painted one
Speaker 1: like Mr Crabs and we were just like waiting for
Speaker 1: it to move into the Mr Crab shell, and it
Speaker 1: never wanted to. It's every Yeah, they will, they will
Speaker 1: inspect these shells, make sure it's the right dimensions. Like,
Speaker 1: if you own a hermit crab, you should probably actually
Speaker 1: give it a few else to choose from. I never
Speaker 1: chost the one we wanted it to choose. Actually had
Speaker 1: a hermit crab as a kid, and one time it
Speaker 1: crawled up into my armpit, pinched meat and refused to
Speaker 1: let go. And I was actually near tears because I
Speaker 1: wanted to get it out of my armpit, and I
Speaker 1: could have just ripped it off, but I was scared
Speaker 1: of hurting its little arm so I was just like,
Speaker 1: I guess it lives in my arm I was tested
Speaker 1: out the specks of your pit. Yeah, like it was
Speaker 1: thinking of maybe like moving in there. Like that's its
Speaker 1: new that's its new home is my armpit. And I
Speaker 1: become half girl, half hermit crab house. Not hermit crab,
Speaker 1: but hermit crab house. It's just give me the food,
Speaker 1: little girl. We shall become one unit, and you shall
Speaker 1: listen to what I say. You got your little own
Speaker 1: like armpit quatto. I just like it's like drags along
Speaker 1: my body like a big shell. It's a real real
Speaker 1: ginge Eto style horror. Yeah. One of these coconut crabs
Speaker 1: the edible you get a lot of meat off that.
Speaker 1: Actually I think they are and I've heard they're actually
Speaker 1: quite good tasting because that's a lot of meat you get.
Speaker 1: You get like a good bank for your box. Because
Speaker 1: I've heard coconut crab, but I'm trying to remember if
Speaker 1: it's an actual coconut crab just crabbing mixed with co coconut. Yeah,
Speaker 1: It's could go either way on I assume they're called
Speaker 1: coconut crabs because like there's especially they're in there like
Speaker 1: I guess stor x area their body, their main bulk,
Speaker 1: bulbous like coconut looking. Yeah. Actually it is eaten in
Speaker 1: parts of Southeast Asia and the Pacific Islands uh and
Speaker 1: is considered to be quite tasty. So yeah, what happens
Speaker 1: to a dead body when it's dumped in the ocean
Speaker 1: gets devoured of course by a variety of creatures, and
Speaker 1: especially crabs. They like to pick dead flesh off of
Speaker 1: cadavers that sink to the bottom of the sea. Think
Speaker 1: about that next time you enjoy some soft shelled crab.
Speaker 1: When we return, we'll discover all kinds of creepy crawleys
Speaker 1: that like to chomp on cadavers deep under the sea.
Speaker 1: So you're running away from Freddie Jason and Michael Myers
Speaker 1: and you're doing it underwater, Well, you're in a tough spot.
Speaker 1: And oh no, they've got your arm. Well, no sweat,
Speaker 1: You're a porcelain crab, and you can just pop your
Speaker 1: arm right off. You can grow a new one, and
Speaker 1: you'll leave your pursuers bamboozled. This is a trick other
Speaker 1: crabs can do as well, But porcelain crabs are the
Speaker 1: masters of disarming themselves. Of course, who knows if this
Speaker 1: technique will save you from the terrifying sea monsters were
Speaker 1: now going to discuss. So we've talked about how the
Speaker 1: the ark of the universe bends towards crab. We've talked
Speaker 1: about land crabs. Now let's go back into the water
Speaker 1: and talk about marine crabs that are spookey Halloween crab,
Speaker 1: spooky crabs like the Little Mermaid. But the Little Mermaid
Speaker 1: is dead and all her friends are skeletons, and Sebastian's
Speaker 1: eating her. Sebastian. It's like in the Corpse Bride where
Speaker 1: she has her little friend animals, the little maggot inside
Speaker 1: her skull and like pops out of her eyeball. It's
Speaker 1: like that, but it's like a crab eating eating arials brains. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love that. I'm just I'm super into that. Very cute. First,
Speaker 1: let's talk about the Jetti crab. So this is very
Speaker 1: appropriately named. Yeah, it's big jetty arms. It's like, uh,
Speaker 1: it's like Sully from Monsters, Inc. As a crab. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a white crab with these big, old, hairy yetty arms,
Speaker 1: and its legs are harry. It's carapace. The rest of
Speaker 1: its body is actually not harry, so it makes those
Speaker 1: hairy arms even more interesting looking. It's like, uh, god,
Speaker 1: I am forgetting the name. But like the Banana Lady
Speaker 1: who comes out and she has like the big puffy
Speaker 1: arms like arm ruffles. Yeah, it looks exactly like the
Speaker 1: Chickida Banana Lady exactly in everything else other than a crab,
Speaker 1: and she was a crab fruit fruit platter on his head.
Speaker 1: These are found in the depths of the South Pacific
Speaker 1: Sea on the ocean floor at about two thousand, two
Speaker 1: hundred meters below, which is about seven thousand two d
Speaker 1: I got a surprise for you, guys. Do you have
Speaker 1: a crab with you right now? Am I gonna like it?
Speaker 1: Or am I gonna hate it? I don't know, but
Speaker 1: you guys, this is again not a real crab. Bamboozled again,
Speaker 1: just CBS the universe pumping out more crab like evolutions.
Speaker 1: So this is actually this is a crustacean. It is
Speaker 1: a decapod. It's its own family of weird, hairy, armed decapods,
Speaker 1: related to again the squat lobsters, which are not lobsters lobster,
Speaker 1: squat lobster. No no, no, no, no no no. It's
Speaker 1: all I can think about is Sometimes it's also called
Speaker 1: a yeti lobster, although to me it looks more like
Speaker 1: a crab, but it's neither a crab nor a lobster.
Speaker 1: They are mostly blind. It seems their hair on their
Speaker 1: arms are actually filaments covered in bacteria, which may detoxify
Speaker 1: water that comes from thermal vents. So it's like they've
Speaker 1: got their own bread of filters on their arms. Hell, yeah,
Speaker 1: nature rules. That's pretty cool bacteria. But then when it
Speaker 1: said filter, I was like, okay, hey, these are helpful
Speaker 1: bacteria because like the water coming out of these thermal
Speaker 1: vents can have like toxic minerals in it, and then
Speaker 1: these like arms like help filter it out before it
Speaker 1: reaches their giltlets. This is also the crab that I
Speaker 1: would want to bring to like a protest, because they
Speaker 1: would like extend their arm up and you'd see it
Speaker 1: from afar. Yeah, they got real long arms. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: feel like these are kind of spooky, but in the
Speaker 1: same way that like yetties and sasquatches are spooky, where
Speaker 1: it's like sort of a threatening aura, but also I
Speaker 1: kind of want to hug them. Yeah, they got big
Speaker 1: long arms for hugs. They got big fluffy arms full
Speaker 1: of helpful water purifying bacteria to hug me with, and
Speaker 1: I like it. Yeah, comfortable, safe arms, right, And that's
Speaker 1: that's the last cute crab. I think we're just guessing today,
Speaker 1: you guys, because now we're going to talk about Japanese
Speaker 1: spider crabs. I've seen these. I've seen these before, scared
Speaker 1: to scrawled down. These are some spooky crabs. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Do you see a tiny man holding a normal sized crab? Nope,
Speaker 1: it's a normal sized man holding a giant crab. Those noises,
Speaker 1: I came out, We're in voluntary. I'm so sorry. It's okay,
Speaker 1: it's good. This is why I brought you on, Bridget
Speaker 1: is uh, because I remember this conversation we had when
Speaker 1: you were like, oh, man, crabs they bullied me, and
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, let's explore let's exploit
Speaker 1: that trauma for the podcast. Yeah, you're you're almost always
Speaker 1: I've painted myself into this corner. I didn't warn you,
Speaker 1: and I actually did directly tell you like I want
Speaker 1: on because I know you hate crabs and we're going
Speaker 1: to talk about crab. Yeah I did not, and you said,
Speaker 1: yes I did, because I was like, I'm not scared
Speaker 1: of them. I've just had a lot of bad interactions
Speaker 1: with crabs and it turns out, no, I don't like them.
Speaker 1: So this is actually a true crab and it is
Speaker 1: the biggest, longest legged arthropod in the world. So they
Speaker 1: got big old games. Do those legs go all the
Speaker 1: way up? They pertainly? Do I want like I want
Speaker 1: a team, like a like a Buddy Cop movie between
Speaker 1: a coconut crab and a Japanese spider crab. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: legs in the chunk Man. Yeah exactly, there you got it.
Speaker 1: So you should pitch that legs, legs and the chunk Man.
Speaker 1: It's like legs, gota we gotta we gotta got cigarettes
Speaker 1: and legs. It's like yes, talks like the who was
Speaker 1: that guy in uh? He's like an Alice in Wonderland.
Speaker 1: The voice I forgot Johnny Depp, No, the old one,
Speaker 1: the old Disney one, ed Wynn ed Wyn. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what that's the voice I imagine for the spider crab.
Speaker 1: Just like anything with like super long legs. You just
Speaker 1: immediately excuse me while I walk over. It's like I
Speaker 1: imagine it kind of spookily crossing the ocean floor with
Speaker 1: the soundtrack of Do it's always doing the like WB
Speaker 1: Frog thing and it's a little top hat and then
Speaker 1: it cut and then it cuts to the cooking and
Speaker 1: crab and it's just like weird, weird. I mean, this
Speaker 1: is like the Jack Skellington of crabs. It's like it's
Speaker 1: so they're leg to leg span reaches up to a
Speaker 1: little over twelve feet four meters. They can wait to
Speaker 1: be up to about forty two pounds nineteen kgs. They
Speaker 1: are found off the coast of Japan's hans Shue Island
Speaker 1: in the deep Ocean at about fifty to six hundred
Speaker 1: meters so a hundred sixty ft. They are big and spooky,
Speaker 1: but they are actually described as non aggressive and have
Speaker 1: what's called a gentle disposition. Like you know again like
Speaker 1: Jack Skellington, like this is crab a wing crab, a
Speaker 1: wing crab a wing here too, pinch you with my legs,
Speaker 1: bridget imagine the dunks that this I know that it
Speaker 1: has like a Dwight Howard wings right, crabsketball crabskt ball.
Speaker 1: Now there's gonna launch itself up and just dunk. Don't
Speaker 1: I mean I could stand at like the half court
Speaker 1: line and just lazily reach over. Yeah, I mean is
Speaker 1: a monstar that's kind of like that, right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: the show Bradley Monster, the Blue Ones, Right, but yeah,
Speaker 1: like there's just no you know, it just puts its
Speaker 1: arm up and it's it's just a defensive monster. It's
Speaker 1: just ma tumbo wearing everybody. Don't you imagine giving like
Speaker 1: a high five you just like high five. It's like, sure,
Speaker 1: it doesn't even need to move. Yeah, that's dope. There's
Speaker 1: something there's something about it though, being gentle that screeps
Speaker 1: me out a little bit. Like if these were aggressive,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, yeah, these are like, you know, ocean monsters.
Speaker 1: But because they're gentle scavengers, just like daintily picking up
Speaker 1: things with their long, long, spindly legs, there's something. It's
Speaker 1: just like it's worth waiting for, yeah, because it makes
Speaker 1: you feel like it's going to come out and touch you.
Speaker 1: Like it right, It's kind of like pet your face
Speaker 1: gently and right. It's like in Split when James McAvoy
Speaker 1: McAvoy macavoy, uh macavoy goes for I'm being uh, you know,
Speaker 1: like a monster to being a sweet person, being like
Speaker 1: I've made you a sandwich. It's so unsettling because you
Speaker 1: know it can kill you. Yeah, I mean I don't
Speaker 1: think these guys to be to be perfectly honest, I
Speaker 1: don't think that these can kill you. They even though
Speaker 1: they have really long spindly legs, there are actually their
Speaker 1: cloths are kind of dainty. Uh. One of these the
Speaker 1: minute to reach out like the breakable bones by the way,
Speaker 1: for every single crab that you've shown us today, Katie,
Speaker 1: I've in my head said, like, I could take this.
Speaker 1: I could take this crap, not the coconut, the coconut
Speaker 1: crap that could like, I don't know, my money is
Speaker 1: on the Yeah, no, my money is on that coconut crowd.
Speaker 1: It has a grip ten times that of a human abe.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you, like,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. I'm crafty, but I think I
Speaker 1: could do it. Tool should Yeah, we can set this up.
Speaker 1: Let's claws where your mouth is. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 1: So the Japanese spider crabs are I'm never scavengers. They'll
Speaker 1: basically eat anything they can pick up with their long,
Speaker 1: spindly claws, which is great. Love that. And sometimes they
Speaker 1: camouflage themselves by picking up sea sponges and other sedentary
Speaker 1: organisms and put them on their carapace to sort of
Speaker 1: like blend in more with their environment, which again just
Speaker 1: imagine one of these guys like just gonna pick this
Speaker 1: up with my long leg, gonna pick it up with
Speaker 1: my really really long leg, Gonna put it on my
Speaker 1: crazy body. Now I look like a see sponge and
Speaker 1: bust up. How does this thing think it blends in
Speaker 1: It's like a tripod. It's like so unlike any formation
Speaker 1: that the ocean. It's got to be. Yeah, it's so big.
Speaker 1: It's not working, buddy. It probably uses the camouflage more
Speaker 1: when it's younger and more vulnerable. But I do love
Speaker 1: the idea of just one of these massive adults still
Speaker 1: in the habit of doing this, picking up a tiny
Speaker 1: sea sponge and being like, I'm just gonna put this
Speaker 1: on my body. No, there we go nowhere, practically invisible.
Speaker 1: It's also got these pictures that are perfect for like
Speaker 1: bringing into frame a top hat. My god, I don't
Speaker 1: it doesn't. It does make you're kind of right about
Speaker 1: the sociopath thing. Like I do think that maybe it's
Speaker 1: got like a family kidnapped in the basement because it's
Speaker 1: too nice. If it's got a gentle disposition, as you said,
Speaker 1: do Do Do Do your dreams, gets close enough and
Speaker 1: just like tickles you and scampers away, but it's just
Speaker 1: so threatening. Yeah. I don't understand how this thing moves either.
Speaker 1: Is it like scuttering or is it taking like big
Speaker 1: long stripes spit long smooth move strides that was what
Speaker 1: I was hoping you wouldn't say our crab legs. You
Speaker 1: might know this, Katie, because you're you know, this is
Speaker 1: your podcast. Do do spider legs and crab legs work similarly? Well?
Speaker 1: Spider legs use hydraulics mostly to move, whereas I think
Speaker 1: crab legs actually have muscle in them. So not exactly,
Speaker 1: because I know that when a spider dies, like it
Speaker 1: it crumping calls up because of the well, right, because
Speaker 1: like it's essentially the spiders are moving with hydraulics where
Speaker 1: you have these fluids inside the leg changing pressure and
Speaker 1: that helps the legs to move. But I think crabs
Speaker 1: actually have they rely more on muscle to move. It's
Speaker 1: fascinating that it's still can achieve from an exterior same
Speaker 1: kind of you know, look to my eyes. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: joints like that, and yeah, they developed the same similar
Speaker 1: number of legs. Spiders do have muscles, they just I
Speaker 1: think they rely more on hydraulics than crabs do, whereas
Speaker 1: crabs rely more on the muscle. Cool, thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Crab legs. Now, I've shown you all these crabs some
Speaker 1: terrifying and stuff, but I've actually liked all of them
Speaker 1: like I'm I'm sort of one of these people who
Speaker 1: just like, I'll love it pretty much any animal. We're
Speaker 1: getting to the crab that actually scares me. Uh, And
Speaker 1: this is not it's not the biggest crab, it's not
Speaker 1: the hairiest crab. It's just the worst crab. It's the
Speaker 1: worst thing to look at. This is called the arrowhead crab.
Speaker 1: It is fat. I haven't scrolled down yet. I'm so scared. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's a hid is. It is found in the
Speaker 1: Atlantic Ocean from Carolina to Argentina. They live in coral reefs.
Speaker 1: So again, like, they're not like a deep sea crab,
Speaker 1: they're not here. There's nothing that like tips you off
Speaker 1: like this is gonna be the spookiest crab in the
Speaker 1: ocean until it walks into frame and you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: it's all haunted. It's all haunted. They're horrible legs and
Speaker 1: ten percent horrible weird little body. Uh. They look like
Speaker 1: you took an umbrella, removed all the fabrics lit those
Speaker 1: weird spindley umbrella wires. I'm not really sure what they're called.
Speaker 1: The spokes like the spokes of the umbrella, just but
Speaker 1: they're alive and they scamper around. Yeah, and if it
Speaker 1: was made of bones, like very thin phone, I don't
Speaker 1: you know that's seen in Coraline where the other mother's
Speaker 1: hand that like mechanical hand cut off and it's like
Speaker 1: shaped like a spider, but like made out of umbrella
Speaker 1: spokes like it's like that, but crab. I want to
Speaker 1: see this thing move because my favorite I wish it
Speaker 1: just jumps and spins. You're in luck, abe. I have
Speaker 1: included links to YouTube videos, also including these in the
Speaker 1: show notes if you guys would like to see. The
Speaker 1: first one is actually of an arrowhead crab molting, which
Speaker 1: is probably the worst thing I've ever seen. The other
Speaker 1: one is just one of these little scamps scuttle scuttling
Speaker 1: around a reef having a good old time. Um, but
Speaker 1: let me continue to explain what these look like to
Speaker 1: the listeners. So, their legs are long, thin, and spind lee.
Speaker 1: They're not actually that big, it's just the proportion of
Speaker 1: the legs to the body, so they do actually look
Speaker 1: a lot like giant daddy long legs. Their legs grow
Speaker 1: up to be about four inches or ten centimeters long,
Speaker 1: but again it's like their legs are so long, and
Speaker 1: their body is so tiny compared to their legs. It
Speaker 1: just looks like a horrible alien umbrella spider. But speaking
Speaker 1: of their body, their bodies are bad to look at
Speaker 1: as well, because they're their carapace is shaped like a
Speaker 1: weird triangle, and their rostrum, which is basically the beak
Speaker 1: of a crab. When you think of a rostrum, like
Speaker 1: you know how like shrimp have that that face and
Speaker 1: then like the head kind of like comes to a
Speaker 1: point that's like that that little beak part is like
Speaker 1: the rostrum, but that grows really long, like this big
Speaker 1: unicorn horn on top of their heads that is serrated
Speaker 1: like tiny saw, and it's bad to look at it.
Speaker 1: It's bad so to catch up to speed. It is
Speaker 1: like an underwater umbrella spider with big spindle legs, a
Speaker 1: tiny triangle body, and a unicorn horn with a saw
Speaker 1: on it. Cool, it's a nightmare. In terms of colors,
Speaker 1: that the kind of pretty color or is. Their legs
Speaker 1: are typically orangy red and they're dainty little pincers at
Speaker 1: the tips of their long spind lee claws or blue
Speaker 1: or purple ish, So yeah, kind of pretty. Other than
Speaker 1: the shape The shape is bad. The shape looks like
Speaker 1: you broke all the sliders in like a crab character creation,
Speaker 1: and you just turn all the sliders up to nightmare,
Speaker 1: like broke broke it. It's like you broke the crab.
Speaker 1: The crab is just it's all wrong. It's legs are
Speaker 1: there's just too much legs, too much of a weird
Speaker 1: horn on it. Yeah, there's not a color this thing
Speaker 1: could be that would make me feel comfortable, right right, um. Regardless,
Speaker 1: people keep them as pets for some reason. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: In fact, one of these videos that I'm showing you guys,
Speaker 1: I think it is someone who owns one of these things.
Speaker 1: And uh, thank you so much for videotaping your pet molting.
Speaker 1: It's a great addition to YouTube. The part where you
Speaker 1: can see it hollow its legs out of the Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a fun. That's a always. Molting is one of
Speaker 1: those things like when you watch a spider malt and
Speaker 1: it kind of peels itself out of its old exoskeleton.
Speaker 1: It's a little unsettling. This time is a billion just
Speaker 1: because of how long those dangle legs are. It just
Speaker 1: keeps Yeah, like I mean, I'm you know, personifying crabs
Speaker 1: a little too much, but like or anything that molts.
Speaker 1: But malting feels like a very intimate thing. I don't
Speaker 1: want it being filmed. Yeah, it feels it feels private
Speaker 1: and personal. I generally agree, but for some reason, these
Speaker 1: crabs to me look like perverts exhibitionists. Sure, yeah, the
Speaker 1: crab likes it, but you know it's like it's it's
Speaker 1: singing a little burless song, like dad just taking off.
Speaker 1: It's very long glove. Yeah, exactly, see whatever you see,
Speaker 1: what you see all the weirder animals. What I always
Speaker 1: do in my head is I think of, like, what
Speaker 1: would the voice be if this was like a Pixar animation.
Speaker 1: And the second one, the second image that you sent
Speaker 1: to us, because it we never get that's the closest
Speaker 1: up we see of its actual like face, and it's
Speaker 1: like I just imagine. I imagine like a very snooty
Speaker 1: French guy, like the little hermit crab in a Finding Nemo.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah exactly, but this because his eyes are
Speaker 1: like very I don't know. Maybe it's also these the ways.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I always imagine crabs with cigarettes
Speaker 1: with MIAMII long m Why is this my legs a log.
Speaker 1: These things are hideous. I do like I do like
Speaker 1: Daddy long legs though, yeah, yeah, I don't mind most,
Speaker 1: but the thing is imagine it being big and then
Speaker 1: it's scary, both the Daddy long legs and the this crab,
Speaker 1: the triangle crab, because it's just like or sorry, not
Speaker 1: triangle crab, the arrow head crab, because imagine this thing
Speaker 1: just dominating the skyline. Yeah, like yeah, like it's a
Speaker 1: misty day and you can't hear it too much because
Speaker 1: it's like got spindly legs that when they impact the ground,
Speaker 1: they don't actually make that much noise, but just suddenly
Speaker 1: start to see this long silhouette of this big spindley thing.
Speaker 1: I think I think you're thinking of the mist I
Speaker 1: think there's the Stephen King Frank Derivant film, because I
Speaker 1: think there is a there's a like an organism that
Speaker 1: comes from this that's like very much looks like one
Speaker 1: of these things. Interesting. The crab missed tell crabs, it's
Speaker 1: all crabs, baby, I really want. I know it might
Speaker 1: be hard to achieve this, but the kids on the
Speaker 1: Internet they love to create new cryptids, and right now
Speaker 1: I think like it used to be like slender Man,
Speaker 1: but we're like over slender Man, which I get he's
Speaker 1: old news. But and now it's like siren head um,
Speaker 1: which is like a big spindly thing with like a
Speaker 1: siren for a head that like does creepy siren noises,
Speaker 1: And I love that. Could we get like a giant
Speaker 1: terrestrial spind lee crab cryptid going going in the get
Speaker 1: that going in the chest? That is because anything that like,
Speaker 1: I mean, that was the creepy thing about any of
Speaker 1: these crabs with really long legs, like anything that you
Speaker 1: imagine like just reaching out and slowly like touching you right,
Speaker 1: The feel the feel of its leg on your skin
Speaker 1: is not a good imagination station, to be honest. And
Speaker 1: like whenever you see those like super long legs, it's
Speaker 1: all I can think of it, Like it just slowly
Speaker 1: reaching out and like touching your face very chently, right
Speaker 1: in a sort of slow smooth motion, like because jerky
Speaker 1: jerky emotions can be creepy, but somehow, like slow spindly
Speaker 1: emotions can also be really creepy. Yeah, it is worse,
Speaker 1: I think, I agree. Uh So, if any of you
Speaker 1: guys out there like are in charge of of the ghost, Internet,
Speaker 1: ghost stories, Creepy Pasta's like, I don't know, I don't
Speaker 1: know who runs that. I don't know who's the CEO
Speaker 1: of Creepy Pasta. These crabs, yeah, Giarmo del Toro. Actually
Speaker 1: google Arrowhead Crab or check out the link of a
Speaker 1: picture that I've included in the show notes, and please
Speaker 1: turn that one into it because it haunts my dreams.
Speaker 1: Get all these crabs. I'm scared of one like crawling,
Speaker 1: like feeling a tickle in my throat and then this
Speaker 1: thing just crawls out of my phone. Awful. Yeah you
Speaker 1: have cool dreams. Yeah, yeah, it's really great. Yeah, those
Speaker 1: are for you, though I don't want them. Yeah. I thought.
Speaker 1: I hope that the universe been arcs towards crab, Like
Speaker 1: if we all become crab form someday, I hope it
Speaker 1: is in the shape of like YETI crab, or Christmas
Speaker 1: Island crab for Halloween crab, one of those little cuties
Speaker 1: and not the Arrowhead crab. Please. Yeah. I couldn't live
Speaker 1: with myself, but I am like pretty Jack, so I
Speaker 1: am worried I'm going to be a coconut crab. I
Speaker 1: think if Okay, so let's let's talk about what our
Speaker 1: crab sonas would be. Bridge coconut crab, pretty big and imposing.
Speaker 1: I feel abe you would be the Halloween crab. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd be the Halloween crab. I was going I was
Speaker 1: feeling the porcelain crab or the little porcelain crab is
Speaker 1: good too, Yeah, like the mud the little muddy one.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you're totally right, little stone. I take it back.
Speaker 1: You are definitely the stone crab, the hairy stone crab,
Speaker 1: the hairy stone crab. What crab do you guys think
Speaker 1: I would be? I I think it's the happy Face
Speaker 1: happy the happy face yet a crab, but have crabs
Speaker 1: some of them were crabs, but this was definitively a spider.
Speaker 1: But yeah, not a crab. But I guess I still
Speaker 1: appreciate being the happy face spider. Uh yeah, yeah, because
Speaker 1: I've always I've always thought of you is like you
Speaker 1: have a very cheery persona, but I am constantly scared
Speaker 1: you're going to eat me. Well, yeah, I'm going to
Speaker 1: give you a flower spider crab. Oh right right, the
Speaker 1: yeah flower spider crab again, a spider. I like, how
Speaker 1: you you can't be a crab because you are definitely
Speaker 1: a billion spiders in a people's suit, which you know
Speaker 1: I won't argue against it. I think at this point
Speaker 1: everyone already knows. But yeah, no, I'm I'm flattered with
Speaker 1: both of those. Actually, I love, I love. I do
Speaker 1: think I have like a friendly aura. And then but
Speaker 1: you're also a little worried because then I keep getting
Speaker 1: arms keep coming out. Look what I like about the
Speaker 1: flower spreader crab. It also has like the ends are red,
Speaker 1: so it's like your your red hair right exactly, my
Speaker 1: my beguiling red hair, and then my horrible chills array exactly. Look,
Speaker 1: none of these are good. Well we've done it. We've
Speaker 1: become crab as the universe wants us to be. Apparently
Speaker 1: like orders stored right, I know that they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: the universe entropy is the ultimate, uh destination of the universe.
Speaker 1: I disagree. I think crab crab crab is the ultimate.
Speaker 1: It's like Stephen Hawking is like the universe is going
Speaker 1: to cool down and spread out. I think the universe
Speaker 1: is gonna crab out. To be honest, h G Well said,
Speaker 1: it's just gonna be all horseshoe crabs. So it's gonna
Speaker 1: be all all horseshoe crabs. It's gonna crops all gonna
Speaker 1: live on. We're gonna be We're gonna live on crabs.
Speaker 1: We will be crabs and we will breathe crabs. I
Speaker 1: for one, we'll clack for my crab claws. Look, I
Speaker 1: would go to the party I lived with the millions
Speaker 1: and millions of crabs. Oh yeah, hinch me, I must
Speaker 1: be dreaming. Yeah, oh man, they hear that way too often. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're saying, they're like, what else you got? Yeah, well, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining me for this very
Speaker 1: special crab crab Crabbyween Halloween crass Crabby Thank you. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank your treat treat. I know it's a I know
Speaker 1: it's a weird Halloween for everyone, So I feel like
Speaker 1: creating this new tradition of crabby ween. You know it works.
Speaker 1: Here we go. It works. We're gonna we're gonna roll
Speaker 1: with it and we're gonna see where it goes. We're
Speaker 1: gonna celebrate the crab this Halloween. Um, yeah, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining me. Do you guys have anything
Speaker 1: to plug? Yeah, we're actually a part of the same.
Speaker 1: Like I guess supergroup is that what do we call ourselves? Oh,
Speaker 1: I I like super Bean Team, the Bean Team. I
Speaker 1: was just gonna say on network, but supergroup sounds better.
Speaker 1: I also like Bean Team. I know that that's my
Speaker 1: thing that I call you, but I kind of keep
Speaker 1: on us saying it. Yeah, we both have our own shows,
Speaker 1: multiple shows. Actually. Uh, there's Michael Swain, Adam ganz er
Speaker 1: other names um that are tied to it. Uh. You
Speaker 1: can find us set I mean small Beans wherever you
Speaker 1: find podcast or Patreon, dot com, dot com slash, small
Speaker 1: Beans is usually where you kick around with us. So
Speaker 1: that's why I call them. That's why I called them
Speaker 1: the Bean Team because their their network is called the
Speaker 1: Small Beans Network. Yeah, yeah, yeah, check it out. We
Speaker 1: have podcasts on there and we're just as fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're chill. We talked movies and music and like, for example,
Speaker 1: Bridget does rough stuff. Is I just we just had
Speaker 1: an episode of that drop just recently where her friend,
Speaker 1: our our friend, Sarah Griffith uh talks to Bridget's parents
Speaker 1: and asked her questions about her childhood. Bridget squirms in
Speaker 1: the background, unable to do anything. Uh. And so it's
Speaker 1: all the same kind of note you get here. It's
Speaker 1: a lot of me squirming. I think I've been I've
Speaker 1: been a guest on Rough Stuff and I talked about
Speaker 1: how I used to eat snails as a child, and
Speaker 1: Bridget immediately kicked me out. Yeah, immediately, Yeah you Yeah,
Speaker 1: we gotta have you on. We're gonna have you on
Speaker 1: a Frame Rate Katie, which is our movie podcast about
Speaker 1: crab Let's talk out crabs, let's talk whatever. But yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm on Twitter at bridget tweets. Uh, and that's
Speaker 1: where my stuff is right now. Yeah, and you can
Speaker 1: find us at Creature Feature Pod on Instagram at Creature
Speaker 1: feet Pod on Twitter. That's f A T not fet
Speaker 1: knows something very different me myself. I am Katie Golden
Speaker 1: on Twitter k A T I E G O L
Speaker 1: D I N. Where you know you can check out
Speaker 1: my Katie thoughts. And I'm also at pro bird Writes where, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know that I seem like in this episode I
Speaker 1: worshiped the crab, but I also worship the bird ultimately,
Speaker 1: I do. I do welcome the birds as our overlords
Speaker 1: until the crabs tell the crabs take the crown from
Speaker 1: the birds and roll over us. Come on, and until
Speaker 1: the crab and birds fuse to form the sort of
Speaker 1: like flying crabs that will rule the universe, the flight Crabs. No,
Speaker 1: not the flight Crabs. Thank you guys so much for listening.
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. I really hope you all have
Speaker 1: a good October season. And uh, if you're enjoying the podcast,
Speaker 1: if you rate and review it. First of all, I
Speaker 1: read all of the reviews. I really appreciate it. It
Speaker 1: warms my heart to read them, and it also helps
Speaker 1: us out with the algorithms, so I really really appreciate
Speaker 1: when you guys do that. Also, if you have any questions,
Speaker 1: you can always email um Creature Feature Pod at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. Send me your questions. You can also like
Speaker 1: be like hey, I want an episode about uh mice
Speaker 1: and I'll be like yeah, why not? So yeah uh?
Speaker 1: Or pictures of your pets always love those. And thanks
Speaker 1: to the Space Cossacks for their super awesome song. Excellent
Speaker 1: and That Creature features a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts like the one you just heard, visit
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts, or Inside of
Speaker 1: the Crab that we live in right now. See you
Speaker 1: next Wednesday or should I say Crabsday