1 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour. We're so 2 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: happy to be back. 3 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 2: Hey Kathy, Hey Susan, how are you doing much better? 4 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: Everybody's healing? 5 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:21,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I well, you know, I had ronchitas, 6 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 2: rounds of antibox. I've been sick for a month. I'm 7 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 2: just about at the tail end of it. You know. 8 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:31,720 Speaker 2: I really thought January would get me healthy, but it hasn't. 9 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 2: And now you know what's been going on in California. 10 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 2: You know, I cannot even it's I got to say. 11 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 2: It's to me though I'm glued to the television you 12 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,080 Speaker 2: know have been watching, but it's more for me about 13 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 2: I mean, devastation is devastation, but it's to me, it's 14 00:00:55,320 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 2: the personal devastation of people's lives, not the things necessarily, 15 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 2: although I know that matters to a lot of people. 16 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 2: But you know, I was talking to someone and she 17 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 2: was talking about and it really it still almost makes 18 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 2: me cry. She's talking about getting out and she has 19 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 2: a young baby and getting her car seat and her stroller, 20 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 2: and her breast milk is left at home in her freezer, 21 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 2: and anyone who's ever her nurse that's liquid gold. I'm 22 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 2: thinking you know you and I are talking about, Oh, 23 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 2: I forgot broccoli at the grocery store, and. 24 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: Then some people that I said earlier to somebody, I 25 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: always know they always have finers out there. It's never 26 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: been like this, never. This is devastating. And the people's emotions, 27 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: what they're going through. 28 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 2: I hear you and the you know again, things can 29 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 2: always be replaced or not, but they're things, but people 30 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 2: and lives and the emotions and the memories somebody was 31 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 2: talking about, you know, the places that they used to 32 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 2: go for breakfast and the restaurants and the Yeah, it's 33 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 2: like it's like it's almost people use words like apocalyptic 34 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 2: and driving through hell. Anyway. I just it's really bothered me. 35 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,520 Speaker 1: And and you know, everybody that's listening, just take a 36 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: few seconds of silence, how about it, Kathy, and just 37 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:17,800 Speaker 1: pray for these people. 38 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 2: Amen. I also, if you know, we talk as cheap folks. 39 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 2: So you know this our podcast is being recorded and 40 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,519 Speaker 2: it'll be out in you know, who knows, but in 41 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 2: the in the very near future. But you know what, 42 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 2: the need is going to go on long after the 43 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 2: news cameras are turned off. So you know, please think 44 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 2: of those people and think of what you can do 45 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 2: to help other people because we are grateful, we are minded. 46 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: So many times of the hurricanes and the floods and 47 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: now the fires. 48 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 2: And of course for us, for Vachtela Nations. So many 49 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 2: of the people that we know have lost their homes. 50 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 2: So you know, look for some way to help. Because 51 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 2: you know, our friend Nancy has done a campaign about 52 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 2: just one thing, and she's had all of her Instagram 53 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 2: just one thing. Well, here's a great opportunity for people. 54 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,799 Speaker 2: You know, the holidays are over, it's the new year, 55 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 2: try doing just one thing to help these folks in 56 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: California because many of them don't have insurance and they've 57 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 2: lost their lives, their futures. They need to rebuild. And 58 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 2: that's not the easy time to do. Okay, that was 59 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 2: my PSA, So okay, so today trying. It's not a 60 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 2: good segue. There's no easy segue for what we're talking about, 61 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 2: but we're going to try. We're going to be answering 62 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 2: some of your fan questions. 63 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: Your questions, right, you could d m us, you could 64 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: go on Instagram and that's happy hour whatever. Yeah, all 65 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: you have to do you want to take reach out 66 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: to us, we're here for. 67 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 2: You, and the easiest way is go to bachelornation dot 68 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 2: com slash Golden Hour and just submit your questions and comments. 69 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 2: We love reading them, we love answering them. 70 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 1: So absolutely. 71 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 2: Okay, let's go. 72 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: Okay, we got the question of the day, Kathy. What 73 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: are three things you think every couple should do before 74 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: getting married? 75 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 2: Oh? Heck, the first thing is make in my case, 76 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 2: make sure the guy puts the house, the credit cards 77 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 2: and adds me as an owner to everything. Let's start 78 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 2: with that. That would be free right there. No, I 79 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,479 Speaker 2: be let's be serious. 80 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 1: Traveling together is a good one because you want to 81 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 1: go away with them if you're not already living together. 82 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: Some people live together before they're married, which I'm not 83 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: opposed to, but spending a good amount of time with 84 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 1: somebody so you know their everyday habits, how they shower 85 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: in the morning, when they shower. 86 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 2: Do they shower they in this same after their toothpastem TM, 87 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:08,719 Speaker 2: I would be I think you have to talk. I 88 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 2: think couples and couples can all do it differently. Are 89 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,919 Speaker 2: you going to share, you know, having the finance conversation? 90 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 2: Are you going to share money? Are you going to 91 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 2: have your separate accounts, how do you spend, how do 92 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,280 Speaker 2: you save? Those conversations are going to. 93 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: Pay the bills? Who's going to be in charge of, 94 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,280 Speaker 1: you know, the mortgage. 95 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 2: And again every couple does it differently. Some people you know, 96 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 2: division of labor, right, and. 97 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,800 Speaker 1: Who's doing their laundry? Are we doing our own laundry 98 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: or back in the day, I did the whole family laundry, 99 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,679 Speaker 1: my son and his wife. My son does his own 100 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: and she does hers and the babies. I get it 101 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 1: because everybody works. 102 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 2: What about the conversation about do you want children? 103 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,839 Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely, Susan, that's a big one. 104 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,119 Speaker 2: Not for us, it isn't. 105 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: Well, we don't have to worry about that anymore. 106 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 2: But I think having kids, I mean those that those 107 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 2: are three big ones. Finance, uh, spending, lifestyle, living. 108 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: Vacations like you do you want to go on a 109 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,919 Speaker 1: vacation every year? And what's your goal? You got to 110 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,799 Speaker 1: put money away for that? You plan to do these things? 111 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 2: I think with I know with my three kids, two 112 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 2: of them are married, they all of them have full 113 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 2: time jobs. 114 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: You know, it's it is so I said, those two 115 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: working people. 116 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 2: Right back in the dark ages, that is when you 117 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 2: and I were young, a lot of moms stayed home, 118 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 2: some did, some didn't, some work part time. But I'm 119 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 2: now right now, it takes really a two income family 120 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:41,359 Speaker 2: and so to afford it. Right. But the point is 121 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 2: when you have both people working, you know, you've got 122 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 2: to really split the duties because you can't. You can't 123 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 2: get kids, get them to day care and cleaning. 124 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: I mean, you can't spend the entire weekend cleaning because 125 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: you want to go do something. So you delegate, Okay, 126 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: this week, I'll do this or you do this. That's 127 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,919 Speaker 1: how it works. I think you're setting yourself up, step 128 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,360 Speaker 1: up for success when you decide. 129 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 2: I absolutely converse as you and I always say you 130 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,160 Speaker 2: got to have these conversations. 131 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:17,720 Speaker 1: You know, I'm commitment caring. 132 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 2: I mean, it's all sea words, but compromise. But you 133 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 2: know what I'm it was amazed. We get people writing 134 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 2: in who say I didn't know that. 135 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 1: Shocked. 136 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 2: They're like, I didn't know. 137 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: You've been with them five years? 138 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 2: You never do, Like, really, you dated this guy for 139 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 2: five years and you didn't know that he left his 140 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 2: dirty making it up dirty. 141 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 1: Cree's Mama's boy. That one that we talked. 142 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, remember that one like I don't know, I 143 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 2: don't get or the other one. Let me just say 144 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 2: another my second PSA for the day when you're thinking 145 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 2: about getting married or you're thinking about is this the one? People? 146 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 2: Please listen. You don't change someone. What you see is 147 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 2: what you get. 148 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: And seems and learned that the hard way. 149 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 2: I think we've all learned it the hardbody. You can't 150 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 2: fix anybody. 151 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: But yeah, just so, all right, kath we got some 152 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: good questions. 153 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 2: Today, all right, go goes and go. 154 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 1: Okay, So this one is from Maria. Hi, ladies, I 155 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 1: love your podcast and the advice you give. You guys 156 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: are the best. Well, thanks Maria. I wanted to know 157 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 1: what amount of conversation should happen after the first few 158 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,839 Speaker 1: dates with someone. I feel like I'm always too over 159 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: overly excited when I'm dating in the beginning and can 160 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 1: maybe be overwhelming. What kind of stuff should I be 161 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:47,199 Speaker 1: saying to these guys after the date when we're texting? 162 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 1: I need help sticking the landing? How do I be smooth? Thanks? Ladies? 163 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 2: Okay, can I just say this is me? This is 164 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 2: me when I go on a first date. I've had 165 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 2: guys say to me, wow, you're a lot. I get 166 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 2: what she's saying. It's I think. 167 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:13,319 Speaker 1: It has to wait till waigh after the first date. 168 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,439 Speaker 1: A first date, you don't even know if you're going 169 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 1: into a relationship. 170 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 2: But well, no, I think she's saying what amount of conversation, 171 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,079 Speaker 2: Like I think. 172 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: She's should I be saying to these guys. 173 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think she's over exuberant, like, oh, tell me 174 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 2: this and tell me that, and I oh, I really 175 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 2: And that can be off putting to a lot of men. 176 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 2: I know firsthand. It can be offpening when the reality 177 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 2: is I think, Maria, you're just you're excited about life, 178 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 2: you're excited about dating, and you just you just are 179 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,439 Speaker 2: chatty like I am and that but someone. 180 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: I'm chatty though after the first date, my text would involve, hey, 181 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,959 Speaker 1: I'd love to see you again or I'm not feeling it, 182 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 1: you know, one or the other. That's about the extent 183 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,199 Speaker 1: of it. I mean just one date. 184 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,679 Speaker 2: Oh no, after I've had one date. If I like 185 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 2: the guy we've texted or talked on the phone for 186 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,120 Speaker 2: a long long time, I agree. 187 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: And then you say i'd love to see you again, 188 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: what do you want to do? Like things like that 189 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 1: and then small talk, but you're not talking about her future. 190 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 2: Well, that's see. I think that's the thing, Maria. If 191 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 2: you're asking, should you be talking about you know, what 192 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 2: size house do you want? How many kids do you want? 193 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: Right now? 194 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 2: Yeah? That's that's that's off putting, Maria. Do not do that, 195 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 2: you know, go to jail. Do not collect two hundred dollars. 196 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 1: And you know what else I believe is off putting, 197 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 1: Kathy when somebody says, like, are we exclusive after the 198 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 1: first date? Or what are you looking for? 199 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 2: I had a guy ask me a minute. I had 200 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 2: a guy ask me that. 201 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: What are we exclusive one day? 202 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,719 Speaker 2: Yep? And I said, how about if we go a. 203 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: Second time and let's see how we feel. 204 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 2: That's kind of what I said. But you know, my 205 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 2: daughter has given me advice that if if a guy 206 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 2: and maybe it goes both ways, Maria, So pay attention. 207 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 2: If you come across as too eager, then you sound desperate. Yeah, 208 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 2: where I'm not desperate. Yeah, but you take it slow, 209 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 2: enjoy the date. Let us know how it goes, Maria. 210 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 2: But just you know, if there's nothing wrong with saying, hey, 211 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 2: I gotta run, you know, don't chat, don't be so 212 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 2: available for an hour at a time, just saying. 213 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 1: We're texting to these guys after the date. What kind 214 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,880 Speaker 1: of stuff should I be saying? I can tell you 215 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,280 Speaker 1: I really enjoyed your company. We had a great time. 216 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 1: That was so much fun playing top golf or whatever 217 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 1: you did that time. 218 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,959 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and would love to get together again. 219 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. 220 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 2: Soon you gotta run. I have to go watch dust 221 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 2: grow on my sofa, you know something, And then move 222 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 2: on and if he's interested, I'll get back with you and. 223 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:57,440 Speaker 1: I text you a second time. I mean, it's okay 224 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: if you want to text first and say thank you 225 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: and all that, but don't always be the first. 226 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 2: One, right, And the way you stick the landing, Maria 227 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 2: is slow down, slow role. All right, let's get the 228 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 2: question too. But Maria, let us know we wish you 229 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,720 Speaker 2: all the best, absolutely, And if it does work out 230 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 2: and you decide to get married, Susan's a wedding officient, 231 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:30,679 Speaker 2: so I just to announce too. Let's get to it. 232 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 2: Let's get to the next question. We'll do that at 233 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 2: the end. Hi, Kathy and Susan. I'm in such a 234 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 2: shitty This question is from anonymonymous. Yeah, well, I say 235 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,679 Speaker 2: shitty and I'm not all this time. All right, Hi, 236 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 2: Kathy and Susan. I'm in such a shitty position and 237 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 2: I really need help. The other day, my boyfriend didn't 238 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 2: realize I was home, and I heard him talking to 239 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 2: his parents about how he hated the Christmas gid I 240 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 2: gave him. He was asking for their advice, wondering if 241 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 2: he should tell me or not. Based on the past week, 242 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 2: I'm guessing the opted to not tell me. I want 243 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 2: to be a better gift giver and my feelings are 244 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,960 Speaker 2: really hurt, so I want to talk about it. But 245 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 2: how do I tell him I know this info. I 246 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,359 Speaker 2: don't want him to feel like I breached his privacy 247 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 2: since I was eavesdropping, but there's no way I can 248 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,599 Speaker 2: keep this in Thank you so much, Go, Susan, go. 249 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 2: What would you say? 250 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 1: God, bless you baby. Well, you don't have to tell 251 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,240 Speaker 1: him you were listening, but you could tell him, Babe. 252 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: I get the feeling you're not really crazy about this gift, 253 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:40,079 Speaker 1: and you know what, it will not hurt my feelings. 254 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: My poor ex husband Every year, I said, Dicky, let 255 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: me just pick out what I wanted because I didn't 256 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 1: like anything and anybody that knows, me knows. If I 257 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 1: buy them something I want to know it's not hurt 258 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,720 Speaker 1: my feelings. It's something that I thought you'd like, but 259 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 1: I could be wrong. So get something that you really like. 260 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 1: What you do, be honest and just say, I feel 261 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 1: like you know you're not crazy about it. Let's take 262 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:05,560 Speaker 1: it back. 263 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:11,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that there there are several things at 264 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:15,720 Speaker 2: work here, but the biggest thing is if you're not 265 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 2: being honest with him about this, what else are you 266 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 2: guys going to be, you know, not honest with each 267 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 2: other about. 268 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: So he's not being on He doesn't want to hurt 269 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 1: her feelings, but it sounds like. 270 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,880 Speaker 2: Well, that's not being honest if he doesn't. If he 271 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 2: really doesn't like the gift, he should just be saying, you. 272 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:35,480 Speaker 1: Know what, he's our help. She is because she heard it. 273 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 2: Right, and that's what I'm saying. So she should say 274 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 2: to him either nothing or the next time the gift 275 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 2: giving opportunity comes around, Hey, boyfriend, i'd like to do 276 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 2: a B or whatever it is. Let's go shopping together 277 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 2: and pick out something you would like. This is not 278 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 2: her shadowing. If she gave him one gift that he 279 00:14:58,840 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 2: doesn't want. 280 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 1: And she probably it feels really bad. 281 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 2: And take it, unless it was a portion he really 282 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 2: wanted a Maseratoh forget it. 283 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: Well, Anonymous, we wish you luck. Let us know how 284 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,320 Speaker 1: you handled that one, all right. Question number three is 285 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:19,280 Speaker 1: also an anonymous question. Hi, Susan and Kathy. I really 286 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 1: need help about a very sensitive subject. I have no 287 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 1: idea what to do. I just found out that my 288 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: twelve year old daughter is a bully and my heart 289 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: is broken. Apparently she's making fun of the girls in 290 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 1: her class and her friends are starting to follow in 291 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: her footsteps. Where do you guys think this is coming from. 292 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,600 Speaker 1: I haven't seen any signs of this at home. She 293 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 1: doesn't fight with her siblings, and she's respectful to myself 294 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,200 Speaker 1: and her dad my husband. How do I tackle this? 295 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,240 Speaker 1: Thank you ladies so much. 296 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 2: Oh well, I got to jump in because the having 297 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 2: been an educator for you know, many moons. The first thing, Anonymous, 298 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 2: I'd be asking is how did you find out facts? 299 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:14,200 Speaker 2: Who told you? If it's one of your daughter's friends 300 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 2: mothers that kind of thing. Yeah, no, that is of pivot. 301 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 2: That is primary importance here. So first thing I would 302 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 2: do is, you know, you have to get it from 303 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:29,240 Speaker 2: a reliable source. A reliable source would be an administrator 304 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,320 Speaker 2: at her school, a teacher. 305 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 1: Quite possibly that's how she found out. 306 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. She said she's making fun of 307 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 2: the girls in her class, and her friends are starting 308 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 2: to follow in her footsteps. So I could easily, having, 309 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 2: like I said, having worked in schools a long time, 310 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 2: I could easily see that her friends anonymous as daughter's friends. 311 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 2: Mother called her and said, you know your daughter and 312 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 2: now my daughter. So I'm going to table any answer 313 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 2: and non miss that I have until I know you 314 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,960 Speaker 2: know where it's coming from, if it is coming from 315 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 2: a reliable source, and again that would be a teacher. 316 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: A would you tell her to do if we forget 317 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: your heart being broken? I get it, but you need 318 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: to nip it in the butt. 319 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 2: Well she's not going to nip it in the bud. 320 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 2: You probably you could start a conversation with her, is 321 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,880 Speaker 2: what's going on in your life? Those are the kinds 322 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 2: of conversations being respectful. I don't Again, I don't have 323 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:32,919 Speaker 2: enough information here to answer. 324 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 1: I know you're going to be in denial if you're 325 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 1: accused of something, So you don't want to attack her 326 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,440 Speaker 1: and accuse her of something because she'll deny it. Right, 327 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 1: You almost have to catch them in the act or 328 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,640 Speaker 1: just talk about or show them. I know, I've seen 329 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 1: it on TikTok myself, these videos that people are downright 330 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:57,119 Speaker 1: bullies and mean and what the other person is going through? 331 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,560 Speaker 1: Share that. How would you like that if it for you? 332 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 2: Or yeah, how would you feel? However, but I do 333 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,719 Speaker 2: think something. Typically bullies aren't bullies because they wake up 334 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,680 Speaker 2: in the morning and say, you know, I think I'm 335 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,199 Speaker 2: going to be a shitty person. Kids in my class. 336 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 2: There's usually something else going on. Often bullies have been bullied, 337 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:17,399 Speaker 2: believe it or not. 338 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 1: Sometimes so she sounds like she's a leader because the 339 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,919 Speaker 1: girls are following her, right. 340 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,840 Speaker 2: So yeah, so I think you need to do some 341 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 2: more reconnaissance here. But let us know, Anonymous, it's never 342 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 2: it is always hard. We always you know, we love 343 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,360 Speaker 2: our children and we want to believe that they never 344 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 2: do anything wrong. And bullying is a very serious. 345 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,919 Speaker 1: And I know I'm feeling something right now because my 346 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,679 Speaker 1: grandson I've been through this, Yeah, and he gets bullied 347 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: at school and it's awful, and you can call the principal. 348 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 1: They don't do anything. Maybe they try in their way 349 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 1: what they could do. But on our end, it's continuing. 350 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,159 Speaker 1: How do you stop it? 351 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 2: Well, it's oftentimes you can't stop you you know, sometimes 352 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 2: you can stop the bullying. Sometimes you can't. What the 353 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 2: goal here is is to try to get your child, 354 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 2: to get your child to get some coping mechanisms that 355 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 2: you know they can deal with it. It's never easy, 356 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,159 Speaker 2: it's not, but you know what, sometimes bullying. I was 357 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 2: bullied as a child, Yeah, but not not. 358 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,199 Speaker 1: I was made fun of. 359 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 2: You know, see that's going season bully. Yeah yeah, well 360 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 2: I was super fats. I hate you. 361 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: Well, I was getting they said, Pacola turned sideways to 362 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,560 Speaker 1: get your tongue. You look like a zipper. My boobs 363 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,439 Speaker 1: didn't come till late. I was a bean pole and 364 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 1: I was like the tallest one in the class. Now 365 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,120 Speaker 1: I'm not tall anymore. 366 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 2: Oh that's too funny. Well, let me just say, bully 367 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 2: is a word. It is a It is a word 368 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 2: that ignites fire. And so you know the word bully. 369 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 2: You got to really know what you mean by bullying. 370 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,160 Speaker 1: I love I'm glad, Hey Zipper, I'm glad you asked us. 371 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: And I definitely think you need to see it through. Yeah, 372 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:08,680 Speaker 1: I find out. 373 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,560 Speaker 2: Okay, wait, Susan can I I'm gonna I used to 374 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 2: call you Saint Susan, and I'm gonna start calling you 375 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 2: a zipper Susan. 376 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,640 Speaker 1: I love it going on any more? 377 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, well I never had it, so whatever. Okay, let's 378 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 2: we we do this sometimes different games and. 379 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,240 Speaker 1: That one. 380 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:35,800 Speaker 2: Moral quandary. No, no, no, new year, new game. Okay. 381 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,879 Speaker 2: This is gonna be a dating sneak peek with you 382 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 2: and me. Okay, So we're going to answer questions that 383 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:49,479 Speaker 2: give any single men viable breathing above ground would be 384 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 2: defined as available single men an idea of what it 385 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 2: would be like to date us. Okay, Now, Susan, you 386 00:20:56,320 --> 00:21:00,960 Speaker 2: know patriination. We joke around a lot, but we're gonna 387 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 2: be serious in this one. Maybe, right, We're gonna switch 388 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,639 Speaker 2: off asking the questions and we'll both answer. 389 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: But I'm answering for me, right, not you? 390 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. She's got it. She's got people out there. Okay, 391 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,440 Speaker 2: I'm gonna start the first one. What is your favorite 392 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,919 Speaker 2: pickup line? 393 00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:30,960 Speaker 1: Hello, man compliments you? 394 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,359 Speaker 2: Well, that's not a pickup line. 395 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 1: Well, is it? If he says that you're pretty or 396 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,520 Speaker 1: beautiful or you're trying to get to talk to you, right, 397 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 1: that's a pickup line. 398 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right. So guy walks up and says, hey, Zipper, 399 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,200 Speaker 2: you got Oh god? 400 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:49,200 Speaker 1: What is honestly? 401 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 2: Said? 402 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:50,359 Speaker 1: Candy? 403 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 2: Go for a ride? Honestly, I I am not big 404 00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:01,199 Speaker 2: on pickup lines because usually I've talked with someone on 405 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,040 Speaker 2: the phone first, and it's I've gotten to him a 406 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 2: little bit, I think, you know. So to me, I really, 407 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 2: pick up lines don't typically work on me, Like, hey, baby, 408 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 2: where have you been on my life? I'm probably gonna 409 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:16,359 Speaker 2: lean over and wretch been. Yeah, no, see you're gonna 410 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 2: be I'm like, goodbye, move along. 411 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,360 Speaker 1: Okay, here's another one. How do you make your partner 412 00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 1: feel special? 413 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,720 Speaker 2: Well, if I had one, it would be doing and 414 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 2: I'm being serious, it would be doing nice things for him, 415 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:36,920 Speaker 2: Surprising him, breakfast in bed, uh, you know, just doing 416 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 2: something some quot titty and little thing like if he 417 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 2: usually takes the trash out and he got home from 418 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,560 Speaker 2: work late, I would have to trash out just something, 419 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,200 Speaker 2: pick up his dry cleaning for him because he ran 420 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 2: out of time. Just something small. It doesn't have to 421 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 2: be ershout. What about you? 422 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 1: I feel the same also, I would try to figure 423 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 1: out what his love language was, and that would be 424 00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,880 Speaker 1: a way to make him feel special. 425 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 2: Well, you would know the other thing, Susan, don't lie. 426 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 2: You'd cook some fabulous meal for him, and you know 427 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,080 Speaker 2: how I'd make my partner feel special. There's one more 428 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,960 Speaker 2: thing I would do, Susan, partner and I are coming 429 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:17,679 Speaker 2: over for dinner. Get dinner on the table, all right. 430 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: It could be why we're still single, that's right. 431 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 2: Do you believe him love at first sight? I do 432 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,440 Speaker 2: so do Why tell me? That's when I met my husband. 433 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 2: I've told this story before. 434 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 1: We know. 435 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,160 Speaker 2: I know. I let him at a fraternity party, looked 436 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 2: him across the room, told my roommate I'm going to 437 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,719 Speaker 2: marry that guy, and eighteen months later I did. There 438 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,199 Speaker 2: was just something in his smile. 439 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,680 Speaker 1: Do you kiss on the first date? 440 00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,160 Speaker 2: Absolutely? Because if I'm not attracted to the guy, there's 441 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,639 Speaker 2: not going to be a second date. So yeah, what 442 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,240 Speaker 2: about you? 443 00:23:59,119 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 1: Yes? 444 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:00,480 Speaker 3: Have to? 445 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 2: We don't have to. 446 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 1: If you like them, yeah, all right? Or if they 447 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 1: don't approach you, then I don't go after them. 448 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:13,040 Speaker 2: Okay, Susan, I'm going on the next I'm asking the 449 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,040 Speaker 2: next question. I want you to think carefully and realize 450 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,240 Speaker 2: that the world is listening to your answer. What's your 451 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 2: next what is your next move after the first date ends? 452 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: I probably call you. 453 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 2: Good answer. That's true, That is true. We do call 454 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,639 Speaker 2: each other as soon as I tell you. I just 455 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 2: gotta tell everybody. Susan had a date the other day. 456 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,200 Speaker 2: She called me. I was in a meeting. I called 457 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:45,159 Speaker 2: her back and she she went to the bathroom to 458 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,480 Speaker 2: call to talk to me about this guy and ask 459 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 2: my advice. And you, by the way, Sincean, you know 460 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:51,919 Speaker 2: he knew you were doing that. 461 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,160 Speaker 1: Okay, Kathy, what's your ideal first date? 462 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 2: You know you've asked me this before, or I've been 463 00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:04,960 Speaker 2: asked this question before. My ideal first date, I don't 464 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,639 Speaker 2: really care what it is. The thing I don't like 465 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,119 Speaker 2: is a movie or because I want to talk to 466 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,159 Speaker 2: the person. So my ideal first date is a place 467 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 2: where I'm trying not to be funny, but what came 468 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 2: through my mind was, you know, at a very expensive 469 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 2: restaurant with very expensive wine that he's paying for and 470 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 2: great conversation. But you know, I'm saying a place where 471 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 2: we can talk and have a cocktail and just get 472 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 2: to know each other, what about you? 473 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:35,719 Speaker 1: I just realized that an activity like playing top golf 474 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 1: or going out to play golf, or doing something that 475 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 1: it's more quiet, that you can still get to know 476 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,679 Speaker 1: each other, yes, and have some laughs and things. I 477 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:48,199 Speaker 1: do enjoy dinner, but that's you're sitting across the table 478 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,600 Speaker 1: and gu forbid, you're at a loss for words. You 479 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:51,880 Speaker 1: don't know, did you. 480 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 2: Really well, well, did you really say you at a 481 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:58,080 Speaker 2: loss for words? Either one of us not happening? 482 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 1: Okay, How how do you handle quarrels in a relationship? 483 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,640 Speaker 2: Well, what I would do now is very different from 484 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 2: what I would have done when I was my younger self. 485 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:14,600 Speaker 2: But I think you have to have some ground rules 486 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 2: around hate. I don't really like the word quarrel, but 487 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 2: you have to have rules around disagreements because disagreements are 488 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 2: good for a marriage or a relationship because it helps 489 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 2: you solidify who you are, what you want. Can you 490 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,600 Speaker 2: deal with the situation whatever it is, But it has 491 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:39,480 Speaker 2: to be respectful conversation. So I try, and it's hard 492 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 2: for me. I'm going to be honest, because I do 493 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 2: interrupt a lot. It's honestly, it's my worst character trait. 494 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 2: But I think trying to listen and put myself in 495 00:26:49,359 --> 00:26:52,520 Speaker 2: the other person's position and try to understand. 496 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 1: That you want to do. But how do you handle. 497 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 2: That's how I handle them now I didn't then now 498 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 2: I try to listen. What about you? 499 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 1: I'm bad because I always have to get my point across, 500 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 1: Like I don't want you to be mad at me. 501 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,400 Speaker 1: And we're having an argument, a quarrel, a disagreement, Yeah, 502 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 1: but I have to give my reasons as to why 503 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 1: this happened or whatever the case may be. 504 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 2: Yes, but when you and I have had disagreements, you 505 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,800 Speaker 2: do that. You get your point across. I get my 506 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,960 Speaker 2: point across. But the point is we listen to each other, right, 507 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 2: So I. 508 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,840 Speaker 1: Don't know that because we're more mature. 509 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:31,560 Speaker 2: Now, yes, and you know what winning again not my younger, 510 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,399 Speaker 2: but when you're younger, it's getting your way for me. 511 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,359 Speaker 2: It was, I'm not that way anymore. 512 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,520 Speaker 1: For me, it's proven my point. You know. I don't 513 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,159 Speaker 1: like to be well, I'm getting off tough topic a 514 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 1: little bit, but I don't want to be accused of 515 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 1: something that I did not do or did not intend 516 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 1: to do. And I'll admit fault, but and I'm sorry 517 00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,080 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But yeah, yeah, I don't scream. 518 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 1: I was never a person that screamed and fought. 519 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 2: Well, that's not going to get you anywhere. It doesn't 520 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:06,439 Speaker 2: get anyone. Okay, how do you decide? How do you 521 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,720 Speaker 2: I get to answer this for Susan, how do you 522 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 2: decide whether or not you'll go on a second date 523 00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:11,639 Speaker 2: with someone? 524 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,160 Speaker 1: If I felt some chemistry, I'd like to see more. Yeah, 525 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: I'd try it again. 526 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say, that's the same for me. If 527 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 2: I've had a good time, you know an none Susan 528 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:23,480 Speaker 2: eat well. 529 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,639 Speaker 1: And you have a good time, you enjoy that company. 530 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 2: Even if I don't feel chemistry necessarily, even if I don't, 531 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 2: if I feel that this is somebody that I had 532 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 2: fun with, sometimes getting to know someone as a slow 533 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 2: burn and it takes time. When I was younger, it 534 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,160 Speaker 2: was like if I didn't, you know, feel passionate in 535 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 2: the first second. But now it's like, I don't know. 536 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 2: Let me give this some time and say. 537 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: If I'm right, good time, right, all right, all right, 538 00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 1: here we go. When do you think it is the 539 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 1: right time to make a relationship official. 540 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 2: I don't know what you mean by official monogamous. 541 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 1: I guess so like to see anybody else. 542 00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 2: That's when he puts my name on his checkbook. Just kidding. 543 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 2: People don't write me mean comments. I'm joking. The right 544 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 2: time to make a relationship official is when you and 545 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 2: your partner feel it's time. And you know what, sometimes 546 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,800 Speaker 2: there's discord because one will be ready and the other 547 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,560 Speaker 2: one isn't. It's conversation, you know, you know when you're not. 548 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 1: For me, It would be when we were deciding to 549 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 1: be intimate that it's just one person for me. 550 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,400 Speaker 2: If we're gonna if you're going to be intimate with 551 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 2: that person, you're not going to see anyone. I think 552 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 2: you're a one guy woman anyway, whether you're sleeping with 553 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 2: him or not. You just want to date one guy 554 00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:48,479 Speaker 2: at a time, and I'm that way. Okay, what's something 555 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,920 Speaker 2: you wish people understood about dating you? 556 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: Oh? God, I'm gonna go on this one right. 557 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 2: You know we're both going to the same Our answer 558 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:57,960 Speaker 2: is going to be the same. 559 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:02,600 Speaker 1: That we are sweethearts, yeah, and you're not. Just you know, 560 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:08,600 Speaker 1: I am a big personality. We are big personalities. But 561 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,760 Speaker 1: to get to know us knows that there's another side 562 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 1: to us. Yeah, and. 563 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 2: I think people that get to know us will say, 564 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,720 Speaker 2: I don't know. We had somebody we had on the 565 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:27,000 Speaker 2: podcast said some people are getting to know strong women. 566 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 2: You realize that you know, you're comfortable in yourself, you 567 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,840 Speaker 2: can get to know that person. So that's the kind 568 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 2: of guy I'm looking for that knows I'm a strong personality, 569 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 2: but knows there's a whole lot more besides that. All right, Oh, 570 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,880 Speaker 2: can I ask this question? And can I wait? I'm 571 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,760 Speaker 2: going to ask this question. It's a moral quandary. Not 572 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to ask and answer this question for Susan. 573 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 2: Are you a slow burned Susan? Or do you fall fast? 574 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:58,880 Speaker 2: Susan falls at warp speed. She beats the sound of light. 575 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 1: She all fast. 576 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:04,240 Speaker 2: She can fall faster than we can get a man 577 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 2: to the moon. 578 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: But then I fall out too. 579 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,240 Speaker 2: Okay, go ahead, all right? 580 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:14,960 Speaker 1: How do you like to celebrate anniversaries or special occasions? 581 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,880 Speaker 2: I mean, like anyone else, I you know, I love 582 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 2: to get flowers. I love a special trip. I like 583 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 2: to talk for dinner. But you know what, I would 584 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 2: be just as happy having a bottle of wine sitting 585 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 2: in front of the fire. Yeah, as long as you 586 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,600 Speaker 2: know flowers. 587 00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: What's one thing you always bring to a relationship? 588 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,840 Speaker 2: Can I answer that for you? This is not moral, 589 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,800 Speaker 2: but it's so easy to answer for you. And Susan 590 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,120 Speaker 2: brings an out the type. See I knew it. We 591 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:50,240 Speaker 2: really do know each other. Susan's always hungry. What's what's 592 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,920 Speaker 2: something I bring to a relationship? I think I bring 593 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:58,840 Speaker 2: humor and fun, laughter and kindness. What about you? 594 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 1: I will be the same? 595 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, And why are we single? Susan and people? 596 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:10,480 Speaker 1: I bring people to relationship? They meet my friends, all right? 597 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:16,160 Speaker 2: To hand us off? What's the one thing someone must 598 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:23,520 Speaker 2: know about you before dating you? When Susan gets hungry, 599 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:24,320 Speaker 2: she needs to eat. 600 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,440 Speaker 1: I'm an open book and I get hungry. 601 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,680 Speaker 2: Tell you, folks, if you're going on a date with Susan, 602 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,600 Speaker 2: get prepared. You're having lunch, dinner, or smack. 603 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 1: Or I'll be cooking it. I don't care. 604 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 2: I don't know. What's the one thing someone needs to 605 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 2: know about me? I would say that I've lived a 606 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,880 Speaker 2: charmed life that even though I've had some horrific things 607 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 2: happen to me and to my family, I am grateful 608 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 2: for the life that I have. And then I'm going 609 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:53,440 Speaker 2: to bring that. 610 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,560 Speaker 1: Would agree that one thing people should know about us 611 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,120 Speaker 1: is we love our families. I mean, they're they're important 612 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:01,480 Speaker 1: to us. 613 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,480 Speaker 2: Yeah that's another one. Yeah that's another one. 614 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,400 Speaker 1: Oh boy, Well that does it for this episode. Kath 615 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 1: a Bachelor, Happy Hours, Golden Hour, And thanks so much 616 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 1: you guys who wrote into us, who listened to us 617 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,720 Speaker 1: every week. I mean, we love this and I love 618 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:21,800 Speaker 1: hearing back from them. I love to hear the comments. 619 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,800 Speaker 2: I do listen. I have a great idea that we 620 00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,719 Speaker 2: should do for one episode. I'm just going to throw 621 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 2: it out there before we end. I think that you 622 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:34,200 Speaker 2: and I should do an entire episode on tutoring men, 623 00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,360 Speaker 2: how to get on Instagram. 624 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,360 Speaker 3: How to how to set up, how to take a selfie, 625 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:41,959 Speaker 3: that's why just said you don't let me finish, how 626 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 3: to send up a profile, how to take a selfie, 627 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 3: and most importantly, how to find us on Instagram. 628 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,560 Speaker 1: Yes, in between, what about my good news? I forgot? 629 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,120 Speaker 2: Oh tell us your good news? 630 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,880 Speaker 1: Oh so exciting, gay it blew me away. So I 631 00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:00,360 Speaker 1: got an email and it said congratulations that I have 632 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 1: been nominated for Efficient of the Year twenty twenty five. 633 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 2: Wow. 634 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:13,600 Speaker 1: Through what organization the IAOTP, which is the International Association 635 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: of Top Professionals. I was so honored. 636 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:17,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, see a. 637 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 1: Lot going on. It won't be till December thirteenth in 638 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,279 Speaker 1: Las Vegas at the Bellagio, but I will be. 639 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,560 Speaker 2: Who's going to be there with you, Susan A well 640 00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:31,919 Speaker 2: in between congratulating Susan, which, by the way, seriously congratulations. 641 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,279 Speaker 2: That is an incredible honor. You deserve it. Thank you, 642 00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:41,200 Speaker 2: So happy for you. So between our episodes on teaching 643 00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,120 Speaker 2: men how to get on Instagram and reaching out to 644 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:48,520 Speaker 2: us and accepting Susan's awards and honors, please please keep 645 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,440 Speaker 2: sending questions our way. Go to Bachelornation dot com, slash 646 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:56,400 Speaker 2: Golden Hour, dm us on Instagram, reach out on socials 647 00:34:56,440 --> 00:35:00,560 Speaker 2: at Bachelor Happy Hour. We really enjoy hearing from you absolutely. 648 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,360 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, guys, and listen to Bachelor Happy Hour's 649 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:06,919 Speaker 1: Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen 650 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 1: to your podcast. 651 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:09,680 Speaker 2: Until next time, have a great week. 652 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:14,640 Speaker 1: Yeah,