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Speaker 1: So I went to a movie premiere last night. It's

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Speaker 1: called kind of Pregnant. It's a Netflix film. It's Amy Schumer.

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Speaker 1: Let me spoiler alert and tell you that it's good.

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Speaker 1: It's funny. I just felt like she's a mom. She's

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Speaker 1: put her whole body into this movie. It just was different.

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Speaker 1: Her other movies are great, and she's funny, and she's

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Speaker 1: just really a good comedic actress in these roles. I

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Speaker 1: actually I haven't really seen her stand up, but I

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Speaker 1: think she might be a better actress, comedic actress than

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Speaker 1: stand up. But I think I've only seen clips, so

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Speaker 1: I can't speak with authority on that, but having seen

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Speaker 1: I Feel Pretty and Snatched and things like that, this

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Speaker 1: is like a cross between I Feel Pretty and Bridesmaids.

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Speaker 1: And it's just funny. She's very funny and there's laugh

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Speaker 1: There are a laugh out loud moments. She can really

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Speaker 1: do the straight guy in the act and the directing,

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Speaker 1: the guy Taylor Spindel, the way he directed it, it's

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Speaker 1: just it's like you're expecting, but it's unexpected. The transitions

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Speaker 1: you'll just see in the shots, the transitions between one thing,

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Speaker 1: the quiet moments that make you laugh.

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Speaker 2: He did a great job.

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Speaker 1: It's a great movie, and it's good for like go

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Speaker 1: out to movies level, not just like sit home on

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Speaker 1: your ass Netflix and chill level. So I thought it

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Speaker 1: was good. So the premiere, I did the red carpet.

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Speaker 1: First off, Kevin Maser, my ex, who's a big celebrity photographer,

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Speaker 1: the first one whoever pushed me out on a carpet

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Speaker 1: awkwardly because I.

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Speaker 2: Was a nobody. He was there.

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Speaker 1: I then ran into Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld. I've known

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Speaker 1: them for a minute. I've talked to them in Mexico,

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Speaker 1: like I have met them years ago at Andy Cohen's

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Speaker 1: Christmas party. I have like a peripheral in between acquaintanceship

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Speaker 1: and friendship with them, like a mutual respect with Jerry

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Speaker 1: and Jessica. I'm not very social and so I'm not

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Speaker 1: like going to many dinner parties, but I like them,

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Speaker 1: like I can't explain it. I just could hang with them.

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Speaker 1: And I get him. He's a comedian and I can

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Speaker 1: tell like the first thing I said to him was like,

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Speaker 1: this is your idea of heaven, Isn't it just like

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Speaker 1: being out and having to like socialize.

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Speaker 2: It's sexual.

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Speaker 1: But nevertheless, like he looks good and polish doing it.

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Speaker 1: They've been married forever. They're a team. You can tell

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Speaker 1: that's an accomplishment. Their kids are growing. They're empty nesters.

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Speaker 1: She was talking about her cat who is in issues

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Speaker 1: anothery're not empty nesters. But like, I just think that

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Speaker 1: being a couple in entertainment as a comedian, which is

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Speaker 1: a very specific type of person that you know, is

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Speaker 1: in ways social and ways introverted, complicated, you know, just

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Speaker 1: a different type of person. I think for them to

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Speaker 1: have been together for so long, with the media, with money,

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Speaker 1: with power, with all of it, I think it's an accomplishment.

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Speaker 1: So I'm just gonna give flowers to Jerry and Jessica.

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Speaker 1: And I had a nice talk with them, and like

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Speaker 1: I said, there's like a polish to him, and he's

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Speaker 1: just like an elegant adult in this space in this media.

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Speaker 1: He's dressed nice, like he's tick. He's like a man,

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Speaker 1: you know, all right, So and she's dressed and I

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Speaker 1: just like them, so they would. So I saw them

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Speaker 1: and I enjoy them, and then I went Then the

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Speaker 1: movie was funny. I brought Danielle, who's the president of

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Speaker 1: my company. I bring her to a lot of these

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Speaker 1: things because they'd sort of become hybrid work things. And

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Speaker 1: if I bring a friend, I'm going to know everybody

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Speaker 1: and have to walk the carpet and I feel self

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Speaker 1: conscious and I'm rushing, Or if I bring a date,

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Speaker 1: it's the same thing. So it's kind of like work

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Speaker 1: slash enjoyable. And I love that light part of my

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Speaker 1: life that I get to have work and pleasure be overlapping.

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Speaker 1: So then we go to the after party, which is

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Speaker 1: at the Plaza. The Swan's premiere, which was Ryan Murphy's premiere,

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Speaker 1: was also there. It's a great space, by the way,

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Speaker 1: I think it's They say it's the Oak Room, but I.

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Speaker 2: Don't know if it is because this is upus stairs.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, It's beautiful place. Looked like the food was amazing.

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Speaker 1: I only regret not eating the food. Look like the

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Speaker 1: food is like elevated premiere food, giant gorgeous meatballs and rigatoni.

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Speaker 1: The thing is like, then where am I sitting And

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Speaker 1: it's just like the breath and the talking and so

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Speaker 1: it's always like you're drinking your dinner. I had candy

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Speaker 1: for dinner because it was a candy station, which we'll

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Speaker 1: come into play later, Okay.

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Speaker 2: So I see Molly Simms, she's in the movie.

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Speaker 1: She's beautiful, she's sweet, she's nice, she's fragile because of La.

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Speaker 1: And the thing about people from LA is that they're

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Speaker 1: experiencing such an incredible trauma that really, for only a

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Speaker 1: week everybody else gave a shit about. So I have

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Speaker 1: a team that's managing the La fire warehouse and all

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Speaker 1: that stuff. But to see Molly and her still knee deep,

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Speaker 1: waist deep, neck deep in the emotion of it because

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Speaker 1: she lives in LA. And if you're an La person,

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Speaker 1: your city has crumbled, it's changed. Half your friends have

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Speaker 1: lost their homes. You know there are poor people in

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Speaker 1: the same community that it's just that that are that

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Speaker 1: are that are devastated. And when that there's a seismic

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Speaker 1: shift in entertainment, the town takes a hit. So the

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Speaker 1: town was already weird. Things were weird. People weren't making

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Speaker 1: as any movies and TV in the same way. It's

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Speaker 1: just not the same. I can't really explain it. But

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Speaker 1: if you've ever lived in La, which I did for

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Speaker 1: a lot of my life, you know that La has changed.

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Speaker 1: And also there's a crime and homeless and post pandemic issue,

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Speaker 1: Like there's a bunch of things. So now they get

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Speaker 1: the fires, and the first thing I said was fuck,

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Speaker 1: they were already on their last legs. Tim Dillan and

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Speaker 1: I talk about it all the time. He's just like,

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Speaker 1: Las weird now and then like kind of get out

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Speaker 1: of there. So then the fires, and now you know,

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Speaker 1: people don't know do they move somewhere else if they

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Speaker 1: have to be there and their kids are in school,

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Speaker 1: they're sort of moving to Manhattan Beach, renting in Newport,

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Speaker 1: going to La Jolla, going somewhere else if they can move.

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Speaker 1: Are they moving to Vegas, Austin, Nashville, New York? Like

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Speaker 1: Palm Springs. It's a weird hodgepodg Montecito, et cetera. But

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Speaker 1: then someone I know is selling their house and I thought,

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Speaker 1: and not near the beach or not near any fireplace,

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Speaker 1: but near the mountains, And they were like, it's going

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Speaker 1: to be a hard one because like, I just don't

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Speaker 1: think anyone knows what to do. But by the same token,

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Speaker 1: there's a whole disparity right now in a whole class

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Speaker 1: warfare situation going on because of the poor and the

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Speaker 1: rich and it's just a shit show. You know that

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Speaker 1: poor experienced it, but then the media is reporting rich

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Speaker 1: people and looting in rich people's houses and people who

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Speaker 1: have second homes, and it's not They still lost something.

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Speaker 1: So we can't belittle someone's despair because other poor people

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Speaker 1: are experiencing it. It's just a weird convergence at the

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Speaker 1: same time of rich and poor experiencing a tragedy similarly

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Speaker 1: yet drastically differently because the middle class became poor and

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Speaker 1: one day in one community of four thousand homes. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so I seem Ali Sims, she's sweet. I see Chris Rock.

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Speaker 1: I don't stay high because he's like in a small

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Speaker 1: sea of people that I like him so much, and

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Speaker 1: he helped me a lot just by sending me something

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Speaker 1: about stand up. And I've talked to him once in

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Speaker 1: Miami at a party. I just like him. He's just

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Speaker 1: a nice guy. So Seth Meyers love him too, Like

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Speaker 1: he's just cute and sheepish and wholesome and nice and

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Speaker 1: I just and funny.

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Speaker 2: So I watch the movie. It's very funny. I walk out.

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Speaker 2: I do a review.

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Speaker 1: Amy Schumer tags the director Taylor Spindel, She's like the

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Speaker 1: only review I really care about is Bethany's and I

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Speaker 1: give it a nine out of ten. I think it's funny,

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Speaker 1: it's great. I tag Netflix, like whatever, whatever, my reviews

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Speaker 1: have some weight. So now, and I realize then that

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Speaker 1: Happy Madison produced it. And she says in her speech,

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Speaker 1: she's like, anyway, Dave Adam Sandler. She's like, I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of you like him. She's like, he's not

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Speaker 1: a good guy. I don't believe it. But she's making

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Speaker 1: a joke. She says it twice. She's making a joke.

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Speaker 1: She's got a funny speech. Shout out and flowers to

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Speaker 1: Amy Schumer because in her speech about the movie, she

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Speaker 1: doesn't just like she gives some colors. She's super grateful

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Speaker 1: to everyone, and you can tell it's real, like she

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Speaker 1: knows every detail about every person that worked on the movie.

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Speaker 1: Like she gets heat about different things and about politics

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Speaker 1: and Israel. And but I'm just gonna tell you I

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Speaker 1: pretty much know people, and I've met Amy, and like,

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Speaker 1: I think she's cool.

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Speaker 2: She's certainly cool enough, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: She's appreciate dating her crew, she's grateful for the movie.

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Speaker 2: She's funny.

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Speaker 1: There we are, so we had the dating coach on

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Speaker 1: who talked about we're in you're a CEO and you're

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Speaker 1: interviewing prospects, you're interviewing employees. He brings up an intern.

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Speaker 1: I don't like that because that means like degrading, like

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Speaker 1: I'm up here and you're beneath me. So I'm just

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Speaker 1: going to say interviewing prospects. The interesting thing that I've

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Speaker 1: learned recently, You know, it's funny when someone says it's

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Speaker 1: not you, it's me, and that it's not you it's

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Speaker 1: me has come to be like some version of bullshit

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Speaker 1: and a cop out, like a guy is copping out

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Speaker 1: and they're saying, it's not you, it's me. What if

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Speaker 1: it really is not you, it's them, Like I actually

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Speaker 1: think it is not you, it's them. I'll tell you why.

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Speaker 1: Let's say you're dating someone and you've done the work.

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Speaker 1: You're great, like you've gone to therapy. You know, you

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Speaker 1: know when you're a little unhinged, you know, when you're

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Speaker 1: a little stressed, you know when you're a little afraid.

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Speaker 1: You know when you're dating to kind of fill a void,

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Speaker 1: or you're drinking too much, or you just want to

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Speaker 1: have fun. But like it's not going that great. You're

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Speaker 1: feeling really low on Sundays, you're getting Sunday scaries, you're lonely,

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Speaker 1: like you're dating for the wrong reasons, you're dating out

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Speaker 1: of desperation. Okay, you could do that, you're doing it.

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Speaker 1: We've all been through like unhinged manic phases. That takes

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Speaker 1: some self awareness too. But like you know, if you're

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Speaker 1: not at your peak performance, you know when you're a

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Speaker 1: little bit of a hot mess. But if you're not there,

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Speaker 1: you're really like doing the work and you're aware, and

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Speaker 1: you're reading the books, you're talking to therapists, you're self aware.

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Speaker 1: You're just working on yourself.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: You know when you're like that. You know when you're

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Speaker 1: in a good spot. So if you're in a good

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Speaker 1: spot and you're evolved and you come into contact with

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Speaker 1: someone that you're dating or you get into a relationship

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Speaker 1: with that you feel strongly about the pheromones, the oxytocinet connected.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you sleep with them, maybe you fall in love

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Speaker 1: too soon, maybe you like them a lot, maybe you

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Speaker 1: think you're gonna fall in love.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you get hot and heavy.

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Speaker 1: You know, all these things happen, and by the way,

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Speaker 1: these dating coaches are smart because they're trying to get

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Speaker 1: it not to happen. Because what you're doing is you're

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Speaker 1: getting involved with a stranger and you're starting to project

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Speaker 1: everything you want them to be, your expectations of them.

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Speaker 1: You don't know them that well, but you made out

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Speaker 1: you had chemistry. Now you're thinking about your wedding or

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Speaker 1: their family, or you're gonna meet their kids, or you're

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Speaker 1: glorifying everything they do.

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Speaker 2: It's so amazing.

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Speaker 1: He texted me this, or he sent me flowers, or

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Speaker 1: he called me to go on a date. You make

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Speaker 1: everything into something. Oh, it's so nice. He's taking his

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Speaker 1: kids skiing, whatever it is. We make the whole thing

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Speaker 1: into a big thing that it might not actually be

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Speaker 1: because we want it to work. We're fantasizing, we're projecting. Okay,

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Speaker 1: now a person, the new car smells off, Things start

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Speaker 1: to happen, things start to fall. It's their communication style,

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Speaker 1: it's their follow through, it's their reliability, it's their red flags.

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Speaker 1: It's things they say. It's things that happen with their

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Speaker 1: ex that you're noticing. It's things people are saying about them.

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Speaker 1: It's getting back to you. You know, people like are

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Speaker 1: rolling their eyes, your friends don't like them, all these

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Speaker 1: red flags and you think you can kind of change them.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know why we do this, but we do.

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Speaker 1: You think, like for you, you're that special and people

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Speaker 1: do evolve and change. We talked about this on this podcast.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that people go out the way they

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Speaker 1: came in. I got into a relationship with a player

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Speaker 1: one such a player, different girl every weekend. Craziest reputation

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Speaker 1: ended up being a relationship guy. Like if a person's

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Speaker 1: a family person and has been in a relationship or

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Speaker 1: someone could just because George Clooney was the Ultimate Bachelor,

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Speaker 1: he probably had the worst reputation.

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Speaker 2: He probably goes to girls all the time.

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Speaker 1: Warren Beatty was an animal, but there is you know,

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Speaker 1: but we go and we think that we're going to

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Speaker 1: change them. And you can't be in a relationship with

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Speaker 1: who you want someone to be, especially if it's not

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Speaker 1: evolving and going in the right direction. And if you

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Speaker 1: once you realize that someone is not at their peak

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Speaker 1: potential as a candidate, you got to cut bait because

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Speaker 1: you're going to be overcompensating and gaslighting yourself because you're

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Speaker 1: connected to them and now your body's gotten into it,

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Speaker 1: and you're attracted to them and you're making excuses, and

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Speaker 1: if someone says it's not you, it's me, it is

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Speaker 1: probably them because they are not They can't do the work.

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Speaker 1: They're not willing or capable to do the work to

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Speaker 1: meet you where you're at. Years ago, I went to

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Speaker 1: a therapist about a relationship with someone who was madly

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Speaker 1: in love with me. I wasn't in love with him,

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Speaker 1: but I couldn't even talk about my childhood to the therapist.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't do any of the work. It overwhelmed me.

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Speaker 1: I just didn't want to go back there. I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to revisit I didn't want to talk about it now.

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Speaker 1: This wasn't going to end up being my guy. But

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Speaker 1: it didn't matter. I couldn't even do the work for

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Speaker 1: the relationship that it was to that point because I

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Speaker 1: wasn't ready. So if a person is not ready to

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Speaker 1: do the work in order to meet you where you're at,

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Speaker 1: because that's the only possible way, and it's still drinking

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Speaker 1: someone pretty, but it's the only possible way you could

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Speaker 1: work with someone who's seeming deficient in areas is if

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Speaker 1: they really are doing the work, they're proactive on the case.

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Speaker 1: Let's say they're an addict, they're recovering. Let's say they

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Speaker 1: have anxiety or abandonment issues or mental issues or avoidant style.

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Speaker 1: Where you have attachment style, you need to know where

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Speaker 1: you stand at all time.

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Speaker 2: They're avoids.

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Speaker 1: They never let you know where you stand, like things

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Speaker 1: like that. But if someone's working and evolving, that's one thing.

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Speaker 1: If you see that, they're just this is the definition

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Speaker 1: of insanity. They are not working, revolving, and they're not

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Speaker 1: evolved enough to even do the work to get there.

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Speaker 1: Get the fuck out. Time is precious at any age.

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Speaker 1: You will not change someone. They will not evolve. To

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Speaker 1: meet you where you're at. And also, don't forget you're

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Speaker 1: evolving too. You don't need to be stuck back in

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Speaker 1: third grade with someone when you're in ninth grade and

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Speaker 1: time does fly, and it's just there's no I have

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Speaker 1: ever a right time to break up.

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Speaker 2: Is it fourth of July? You have a party coming?

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Speaker 1: Is it the summer and you want to be out

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Speaker 1: and have a summer romance with this person and be

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Speaker 1: sexy and cute and go travel. Is it New Year's Eve?

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Speaker 1: Is it Thanksgiving? Is it Christmas? Is it back to school?

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Speaker 2: Is it New Year or New Year? Is it what if? Easter?

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Speaker 1: It never ends? Have the fucking courage, cut bait. You

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Speaker 1: cannot waste time at any age. I don't want anyone

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Speaker 1: to waste time. I don't want my fourteen year old

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Speaker 1: daughter to waste time if something is not good for her.

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Speaker 1: So it takes discipline, it takes courage, but you must

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Speaker 1: do it. You really buy and large will not drastically

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Speaker 1: change a person who's not actively working on changing themselves