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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to stefarfm dot com by

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Speaker 1: clicking submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, we could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you just never know.

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Speaker 1: It could be yours. It's a writer, could be yours.

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Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 1: you here it is Strawberry Letter. Wow, thank you, your

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Speaker 1: voice sounds great. Nephew subject, he won't buy her anything else.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a forty nine year old single

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Speaker 1: mother of a twenty three year old man. He's been

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Speaker 1: in a relationship for four years and the girl is

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Speaker 1: nice enough, but I had hoped he would find someone

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Speaker 1: else by now. I'm an administrator and a high ranking

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Speaker 1: official at my job, and I offered my son's girlfriend

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Speaker 1: and entry level position to get her some professional skills.

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Speaker 1: She's twenty two years old and she's never had a job,

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Speaker 1: and she relies on my son to take care of her.

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Speaker 1: He pays her car note, which is only three hundred

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Speaker 1: and forty five dollars a month, and he buys her

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Speaker 1: things like they're married. She tries to sneak and spend

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Speaker 1: the night over at my house, but I have made

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Speaker 1: her get up in the middle of the night and

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Speaker 1: get out of my house. If my son moved out,

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Speaker 1: it will keep me out of his business. But since

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Speaker 1: he's under my roof, everything has grown behind. Does is

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Speaker 1: my business. I found a bunch of gift bags and

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Speaker 1: boxes in the hall closet by his bedroom, and he

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Speaker 1: said he had to hide them from his girlfriend because

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Speaker 1: those are her Christmas presents that he's been buying since August.

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Speaker 1: That sent me into a frenzy and I told him

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Speaker 1: he's treating her like a wife and he needs to

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Speaker 1: propose and make an official He said he's not even

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Speaker 1: sure if he wants to marry her because she cheated

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Speaker 1: on him last month with a friend, okay, with a friend.

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Speaker 1: I lost it and told him he won't buy her

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Speaker 1: anything else, and I told him I was canceling his

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Speaker 1: credit card. This girl is playing him and he's buying

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Speaker 1: her affection. He won't have the means to buy her

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Speaker 1: anything else, and we'll see if she sticks around. I

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Speaker 1: might not know how to raise a man, but I

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Speaker 1: will not raise a fool. He's too old to be

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Speaker 1: this gullible. Now that I took away his credit card,

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Speaker 1: he's not talking to me. How can I show him

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Speaker 1: that I'm not the enemy here? Well, Mom, I'm with

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Speaker 1: you one hundred percent on this. Please know that you

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Speaker 1: did the right thing. Don't second guess yourself, don't change

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Speaker 1: your mind, don't get soft hearted and turn his credit

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Speaker 1: card back on none of that. I like what you

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Speaker 1: said about maybe not knowing how to raise a man,

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Speaker 1: but you are definitely not going to raise a fool.

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Speaker 1: This girl is playing him. You're right about that. You

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Speaker 1: offered her a job so she could get some professional skills.

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Speaker 1: What's wrong with that? She turned that down? She obviously

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Speaker 1: doesn't want to work. That prove she's not trying to

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Speaker 1: help or do something on her own. He pays her car, note,

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Speaker 1: he buys her gifts, etc. She's a user who's getting

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Speaker 1: everything she can out of your young son, and she

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Speaker 1: can't even be faithful. She cheated on him with his friend,

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Speaker 1: So this is just wrong right here. She's followed for

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Speaker 1: doing that, and not to mention disrespecting your household all

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Speaker 1: along by trying to sneak and stay there overnight. So

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Speaker 1: you did what any real parent would have done. You

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Speaker 1: made her lead. Your son is matt Yeah okay, and

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Speaker 1: he can't see it now, but he will get over

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Speaker 1: it and thank you later because you stop this young

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Speaker 1: lady from taking everything from him. So you don't have

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Speaker 1: to show him that you're not the enemy, you're not

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Speaker 1: his friend, you're his parent. Just keep doing you. He'll

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Speaker 1: figure it out after she dumps him, and she will

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Speaker 1: because he can't spend money on her like that anymore.

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Speaker 1: Right now, he should be glad that you still let

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Speaker 1: him stay in the house. He's a grown man doing

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Speaker 1: grown man things, but living with his mama. So give

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Speaker 1: him a deadline. Tell him to start saving his money,

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Speaker 1: because it's time for him to be a real man

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Speaker 1: and get his own place. Steve, Well, this whole thing

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Speaker 1: is connected to one major problem, and I'm gonna tell

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Speaker 1: you what it is. Your boy is whipped. He's whipped.

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Speaker 1: See there's no mention of this in the letter, and

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Speaker 1: this is the part that we're dancing around. But I'm

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Speaker 1: not your boy whip whipped. And you know what I'm

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Speaker 1: meaning quipped by it. It has him quipped, now, we

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Speaker 1: got a couple of things wrong. I'm a forty nine

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Speaker 1: year old single mother of a twenty three year old man.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to cut off point is where

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Speaker 1: you get to quit saying you're a single parent. But

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Speaker 1: once he's twenty three and he working, you can stop

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Speaker 1: calling and yourself a single parent because at twenty three

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Speaker 1: he should be taking care of himself. So you're no

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Speaker 1: longer a single parent because you don't have to take

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Speaker 1: care of him anymore, or you're not supposed to. He's

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Speaker 1: been in a relationship for four years and the girl

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Speaker 1: is nice enough, but I hope he'd find somebody else

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Speaker 1: like that because you don't like the girl. You're an

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Speaker 1: administrator and a high ranking official on your job, and

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Speaker 1: offer this girlfriend the entry level position so she could

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Speaker 1: get some skills. She's twenty two years old, she's never

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Speaker 1: had a job and relies on the son to take

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Speaker 1: care of I can see why your years are pent back, mom,

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Speaker 1: because you don't want to see your son get you.

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Speaker 1: But in the words of Bill Withers, oh you just

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Speaker 1: keep on using me until you use me up. My

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Speaker 1: friends feel as their appointed duty. They keep trying to

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Speaker 1: tell me that all you want to do is you

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Speaker 1: And for my answer, yeah, gonna on and use me up.

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Speaker 1: Because if it feels this good getting you all, you

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Speaker 1: just keep on using me until you use me up.

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Speaker 1: That's the problem. They wrote a song about it, Beal Wither.

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Speaker 1: Your son is whipped now. You want to help your song,

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Speaker 1: But the only way to help him is you've got

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Speaker 1: to stop enabling him, and you've taken a position to

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Speaker 1: do that. When we come back, I will talk to

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Speaker 1: you about this, a couple of things you can do

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Speaker 1: and what he needs to do. He's not gonna listen

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Speaker 1: because he's whipped. All right, Hang on, Steve, and we'll

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Speaker 1: have for two of your response coming up to today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry letter at twenty three minutes after the hour of

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Speaker 1: the subject he won't buy her anything else. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this you're listening show. Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is he won't

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Speaker 1: buy her anything else. You got a boy that's whipped,

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Speaker 1: whipped by that thing. He can't see it right now

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Speaker 1: because he just whipped you. Forty nine year old single

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Speaker 1: mother of a twenty three year old man twenty three

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Speaker 1: year old man that works, so that takes you out

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Speaker 1: of the single parent category. Once a boy reaches a

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Speaker 1: certain age and is working, you're no longer a single mother. Okay,

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Speaker 1: take that off your place. He's a relationship for four

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Speaker 1: years with a girl. That's nice for you to want

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Speaker 1: of him. Really find somebody else. Because you're a high

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Speaker 1: rank an official at your job. You offered the girlfriend

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Speaker 1: or entry level position so she could get some skills.

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Speaker 1: She's never had a job before. She relies on your

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Speaker 1: son to take care of her. He pays her car note,

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Speaker 1: which is only three hundred and forty five dollars a month,

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Speaker 1: and he buys her things like they're married. That's what

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Speaker 1: men do. We buy women things percha. It's perch purchasing

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Speaker 1: with a purpose called an investment. It's an rye should

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Speaker 1: be a return on investment. It's called wining and dining.

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Speaker 1: We understand that. Now. The other form of that is

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Speaker 1: just the oldest profession in the world, which is prostitution.

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Speaker 1: Either way you're gonna pay for it. This is the

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Speaker 1: more gentlemanly way. This is the way that we tolerated more.

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Speaker 1: I can't tell you how much I've invested over the year.

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Speaker 1: She tries to sneak and spend the night over my house,

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Speaker 1: but I made her get up in the middle of

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Speaker 1: the night and get out of my house. Now, you say,

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Speaker 1: if my son moved out, it would keep me out

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Speaker 1: of these business, But since he's under my roof, everything

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Speaker 1: is going behind does is my business? That's a true statement.

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Speaker 1: If you don't want your mom and your business man,

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Speaker 1: get out your mama's house. I found a bunch of

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Speaker 1: gift bags and boxes in the hall closet. Boys very

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Speaker 1: when he said he had to hide different from his

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Speaker 1: girlfriend because those are her Christmas presence he's been buying

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Speaker 1: since office. Whipped Boy wants to put a smile on

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Speaker 1: her face because she puts a smile on his face.

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Speaker 1: His gifts cost money, her gift costs time. See, he's

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Speaker 1: trying to really put a smile on her face for

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Speaker 1: Christmas because he won't his Christmas gift to wait the

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Speaker 1: way only she know how to give it. That sent

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Speaker 1: you into a friends that I told him he's treating

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Speaker 1: her like a wife and he needs to propose and

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Speaker 1: make an official He says he's not even sure if

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Speaker 1: he wants to marry because she cheated on him last

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Speaker 1: month with a friend. You know, you and your boy

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Speaker 1: got a real special relationship. He tell you everything. Well

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Speaker 1: now that he'd have told you that, I mean, what

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Speaker 1: we're gonna do. I mean, I don't even know why

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Speaker 1: he's still seeing her right now, but obviously I'm telling

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Speaker 1: you he's whipped. She putting it on that boy. That

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Speaker 1: boy can't seeker what she putting it on that boy.

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Speaker 1: That boy case I can see clearly now the rain

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Speaker 1: it is a song for I can see in my way.

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Speaker 1: You're not gonna be able to do that till he

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Speaker 1: get that girl out of this way right now. He

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Speaker 1: can't see clear because he will. You know, there's another

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Speaker 1: song out y'all don't know, but I bought that album

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Speaker 1: to another white group back in the eighties. What. I

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Speaker 1: don't know his name, but there's a smoke of a

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Speaker 1: distance five. I don't know the suthing. I don't know

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Speaker 1: that that. Yeah, it's very much goes with this letter.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, yeah, I can't he tried to get the

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Speaker 1: melody stay for towns in bad You didn't lie nine

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Speaker 1: out the night though, Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, never mind,

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Speaker 1: just go ahead, Well, we probably need to just take

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Speaker 1: all that out what I just said, because it didn't

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Speaker 1: mean nothing anyway. Okay, anyway, he bought these prisoners now

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Speaker 1: down through you, and he's treating it like a wife

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Speaker 1: and postmaking the fish. He said he's not sure he

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Speaker 1: wants to marry because he cheated on the cheating with

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Speaker 1: a friend of his. Last moment I lost in Tony.

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Speaker 1: He won't buy anything else. I told him I was

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Speaker 1: canceling his credit card. Why does he have your credit card? Mama?

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Speaker 1: Oh that's why you said you got to see you

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Speaker 1: a single pan because you cancel his credit card. This

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Speaker 1: girl is playing him. He's buying her affection. He won't

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Speaker 1: have the means to buy her anything else. And we'll

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Speaker 1: see if she sticks around. I might not know how

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Speaker 1: to raise a man, but I will not raise the

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Speaker 1: food lady. Perfect statement you just made. Congratulations, he's too

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Speaker 1: old to be this gullible. Now that I took away

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Speaker 1: his credit card, he's not talking to me. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: when you speak, when you move so but you ain't

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Speaker 1: been to do it. Come in here turning keys and

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Speaker 1: you ain't speaking. Okay. I lived in my mama and

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Speaker 1: Hiln house. Huh, you can't come in here turning keys

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Speaker 1: and ain't speak. Huh. Yeah. My father just came in

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Speaker 1: there and just said, you know, you got six months

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Speaker 1: to get on your feet. But I got a job before.

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Speaker 1: He said, boy, you make more money and I made

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Speaker 1: on my job. Now take your next check and go

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Speaker 1: get to a place. Yeah, that was it. I was saying,

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Speaker 1: I ain't got nothing to say to this later. Right,

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Speaker 1: he's doing right there, canseled Okay, thinking on the way out.

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Speaker 1: It's up on Instagram and comment on today's keep trying

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Speaker 1: to tell me. You can also check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: and Letter podcast on demand. We got a lot to

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Speaker 1: talk about, Junior. Right, you're listening to Dave Harvey Morning

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Speaker 1: Show