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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot. In a production of My Heart

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Speaker 1: Piece and Love Y'all, Jill Scott presents Jake dot Ill

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Speaker 1: with my sister friends Age and and I'm Jill Scott.

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Speaker 1: The intention is to talk about the relationships between black

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Speaker 1: women and I know what the media says clearly, you

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Speaker 1: know that there's always some kind of underlying can't wait

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Speaker 1: to pop off, somebody's got an attitude. I did an

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Speaker 1: interview and the journalists was like, we all really love

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Speaker 1: versus so much because we actually could see and hear

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Speaker 1: you thinking the two of you and being graceful towards

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Speaker 1: each other, and like out here in these streets, we

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Speaker 1: don't know that anymore. We don't really experience that. Sa

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Speaker 1: if that's so unfortunate, He's like, well that, you know,

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Speaker 1: it was just a reminder about being graceful with each

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Speaker 1: other because black women don't like each other. It's like, yeah, well, okay,

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Speaker 1: that probably does. But see that probably also comes from

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Speaker 1: the whole and we're just coming out of that the

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Speaker 1: reality TV culture. So there was a little bit of

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Speaker 1: time where that was being pressed absolutely like you know,

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Speaker 1: propaganda obviously, but but playing on the disagreements in the

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Speaker 1: ways that things can get escalated with with people, but

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Speaker 1: then inserting black women into that scenario and then deciding

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Speaker 1: that that's the way that we that we communicate. But

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Speaker 1: that was a black journalist that you were speaking with

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Speaker 1: you and continuously inserting us in that scenario. But that's

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Speaker 1: because the black people we still step out of the TV.

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Speaker 1: Like if a white person would have said that to you,

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Speaker 1: that's one thing, but like your everyday life, that's really

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Speaker 1: how you feel that black women don't get a long Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's I mean, I'm not saying that I feel that

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Speaker 1: way obviously, but I know that's a real thing that

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Speaker 1: black women do not get along. People believe it. Why

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Speaker 1: because it's regurgitated over and over and over again anytime

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Speaker 1: you see a television show, especially reality TV, and people

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Speaker 1: believe that. So it's like it's the same thing. If

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Speaker 1: you don't live in this country and all you see

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Speaker 1: is McDonald's commercials for America, you're going to naturally assume

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Speaker 1: that McDonald's is America. You know, that's what Americans do.

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Speaker 1: They go to McDonald's, They eat hamburgers, they eat French fries.

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Speaker 1: What else do you know? But I want to be clear,

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Speaker 1: Black women don't get along, but not anymore so than

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Speaker 1: any other human beings don't get along. Bottom line is that, yeah,

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Speaker 1: there are some Black women that don't get along, but

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Speaker 1: it's not like anything amongst us as women that we

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Speaker 1: just don't get along. And in fact that we have

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Speaker 1: just such a long history of survival that's all bit

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Speaker 1: and actually hooked into and tied into. Our actual survival

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Speaker 1: is based on our being able to get along, in

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Speaker 1: our ability to have strong, meaningful and way below the

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Speaker 1: surface relationships. I hate that it's like that. I hate that.

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Speaker 1: I hated in my core being because I feel like

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Speaker 1: the people I have the most empathy for in space,

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Speaker 1: for our black women. Yeah, it's just interesting because not

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Speaker 1: for nothing. Just on the side note, and I know

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Speaker 1: y'all don't watch these menial things, but it was a

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Speaker 1: conversation that came up on the Housewives of Potomac because

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Speaker 1: for the first time there was a real fight, right,

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Speaker 1: and so one of the women, she's like a commentator,

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Speaker 1: professor or Johns Hopkins, and she kept saying, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: this is just not a good look for Black women,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't want to be a part of this,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't want to be on the show Where

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Speaker 1: Black when she said it so much to the point

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Speaker 1: where it was just like, Okay, damn, girl, this is

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Speaker 1: really on the backs of us like that, like we

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Speaker 1: really have to think. And it's funny because I in

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Speaker 1: my black my mind, I started thinking, damn, do we

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Speaker 1: really have to consider this this many times? Like you

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Speaker 1: said it once, reiterated, and you kind of reinstated that thought,

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Speaker 1: reiterated that it would be clear right. I think that

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Speaker 1: there has to be some room for black women to

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Speaker 1: be angry on television and be angry with one another

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Speaker 1: on television. It just should not necessarily be the only

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Speaker 1: thing that we get to see about black women. It

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be something that's sensationalized and exploited. And that's totally different,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because the reasons why black

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Speaker 1: women different in the way that they think that's an

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Speaker 1: important thing to explore, because our relationships with each other

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Speaker 1: are complex and they do have a lot of layers,

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Speaker 1: and many times when you start breaking it down and

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Speaker 1: you start really getting to the bones of it, what

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Speaker 1: comes up, y'all already know why is supremacy and be

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Speaker 1: in there. And so as far as I'm concerning in

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Speaker 1: order to really fight that particular evil, we have to

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Speaker 1: be able to step out of the respectability space. Oh,

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Speaker 1: we gotta make sure that we all getting along, so

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Speaker 1: people don't think black women is mean. Black women are

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Speaker 1: mean and nice and lovely and angry and violent and

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Speaker 1: sweet and nurturing and how other ship don't you think

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Speaker 1: people learned? It's funny you realize how much they don't

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Speaker 1: know about a black women when you watch the Kamala debate,

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Speaker 1: and nobody could decode those spaces but black people and

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Speaker 1: all of that, all those masks that she had to

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Speaker 1: put on, and that beautiful smile, which really the same

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Speaker 1: she just I want to I'm gonna go ahead and

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Speaker 1: quote a Kindrey song for the first time since we

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Speaker 1: just started. I say, you're saying at a song called

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Speaker 1: we Speak with Now, and that right there is exactly

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Speaker 1: how black people are. There's a huge part of blackness

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Speaker 1: that involves non verbal and so we have a particular

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Speaker 1: way that we speak into nation. Words have multiple meanings.

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Speaker 1: I look the way you telt your head, the way

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Speaker 1: you might say any of those things, grunts, all types

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Speaker 1: of stuff we have that we do in order to

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Speaker 1: make a thing be a thing. I need you to

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Speaker 1: understand that I have been best friends with one person

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Speaker 1: my entire life. Kim and I have never even had

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Speaker 1: an argument, not once for what for what? She understands me.

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Speaker 1: She's known me before I've had tips, you know, she

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Speaker 1: knew me before I had a cycle. She knew me.

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Speaker 1: She's known me. But have y'all cut faces? My question is,

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Speaker 1: I know you guys haven't argue. But is that because

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Speaker 1: also you speak a different language, you don't have to argue.

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Speaker 1: There's a look, there's a sound with you and Kim

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Speaker 1: as well, like not even an instance of shape, not

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Speaker 1: one not It's not necessary. She knows me, I know her.

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Speaker 1: That's that I know her heart. While me and my

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Speaker 1: best friend have had some difficult conversations, not necessarily arguments,

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Speaker 1: but we both have been able to be like bitch, no, like,

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Speaker 1: that's not it. And I think that that's an important

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Speaker 1: aspect of our freshman and and and much like you,

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Speaker 1: I've had the same best friends since birth. Our mothers

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Speaker 1: were actually friends since junior high school. And we're only

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Speaker 1: a year apart almost, we're almost exactly a year apart, actually,

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Speaker 1: And so she and I been friends since babies like

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Speaker 1: we've played together, go up together. But yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: we've had to have those conversations. I mean later on

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Speaker 1: there's the the understanding, right, So she'll say to me, oh,

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Speaker 1: I know when you ain't feeling something I'm doing or

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Speaker 1: something that I said, and I'd be like, yeah, you

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Speaker 1: already know what it is, like I love you but

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Speaker 1: not you know, so I don't know. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: think it's to each his own. But it's important again

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Speaker 1: to state that black women in their relationships are layered,

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Speaker 1: are complex, are to be. We are, indeed we are.

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Speaker 1: It has to be. You know, Kim and I honestly

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Speaker 1: we have never had an argument. And as far as disagreements,

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Speaker 1: she's so strong and who she is, she doesn't really

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Speaker 1: I won't say she doesn't care about my opinion, but

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Speaker 1: she's gonna do what she wants to do how she

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Speaker 1: wants to do it. And why am I here. I'm

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Speaker 1: here to support that. As long as you have be babe,

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Speaker 1: nothing else matters to me. You're good, I'm good. I

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Speaker 1: tell her, I'm like, I love your children, but fuck

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Speaker 1: them if they want to add crazy, I'm here for you, right. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: hey man, that is one thing about your girlfriends. Your

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Speaker 1: women friends are the people who don't care about nobody else.

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Speaker 1: They like they are rapping, rapping you fully in the

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Speaker 1: real fully, And for me, that's so important. That's so

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Speaker 1: important for a person who's the center of so many

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Speaker 1: people's lives. So you're the center of your kid's life,

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Speaker 1: You're the center of your husband's life, and then at

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Speaker 1: some point you become the center of your parents life

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Speaker 1: because they get to a certain agent that has to

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Speaker 1: happen or you can just never leave. Sorry, that was

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Speaker 1: my two centers. Always to center, go ahead, amen, But

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Speaker 1: to have your girlfriend's remind you that you you should

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Speaker 1: be centered in that and they're the first people to

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Speaker 1: remind you. Those are the women will let you know.

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Speaker 1: Ain't no, no no, no, wait man, you ain't even talked

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Speaker 1: about yourself yet. M m you you have you eaten?

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Speaker 1: How do I mean? What's going on with you? Right?

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Speaker 1: But but that also ends up being the ways in

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Speaker 1: which you have to eventually think about all your relationships,

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Speaker 1: because some relationships can be draining, and the desire to

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Speaker 1: be there for the women in your life in particular,

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Speaker 1: who are holding a lot of the same weight that

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Speaker 1: you're holding, and how that affects you as a person.

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Speaker 1: I learned that about myself. I'm so sorry to catch

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Speaker 1: our police forgiven. Oh yeah, I just recently learned that

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Speaker 1: about myself. I don't do well with needy people. I

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Speaker 1: don't do well with people that require my insight on

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Speaker 1: every single thing that they do, in every which way

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Speaker 1: that they do it. I just I find that to

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Speaker 1: be a burden. I got my own ship, and if

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Speaker 1: you need me, actually need me, I'm here for But

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Speaker 1: if it's it's the menial things, if it's something that

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Speaker 1: you know what you know, you already know right for,

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Speaker 1: you laid out all of the scenarios and all of

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Speaker 1: the things that are troubling you or you already d no.

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Speaker 1: So now what you're gonna do. You're going you're gonna

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Speaker 1: marry this dude. I'm with you. You're gonna be with

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Speaker 1: a woman like whatever it is, because I love you,

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Speaker 1: Because I love you. So as long as you're all together,

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Speaker 1: we're good. But as soon as something pop off and

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Speaker 1: these things are left, I'm on your team. I'm on

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Speaker 1: your team forever and empty you and ever, and there's

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Speaker 1: not there's not a lot of that, you know, you

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Speaker 1: get Lord, I think I have two two and and

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Speaker 1: a couple of dude amazing friends like that that have

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Speaker 1: just been my whole life. You know, that's about it.

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Speaker 1: And then and then there's there's good friends. There's good

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Speaker 1: friends that serve I guess awesome purpose. Some friends are

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Speaker 1: there there to make you laugh and and they can't

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Speaker 1: even help themselves. That's who they are. They're some friends

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Speaker 1: that you know will allow you to cry because you

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Speaker 1: need to, and they don't judge it, and they don't

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Speaker 1: they don't pull a conversation. Different friends for different things.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, you know, I think that that's that's real though,

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Speaker 1: because you can't get everything. But that even goes into

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Speaker 1: relationships period, even in your marriage or even in your

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Speaker 1: your romantic relationship. You'll never get every single thing from

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Speaker 1: one person, no matter what, because you're not everything to

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Speaker 1: someone else. So it's important to or do you want

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Speaker 1: to be? No, man, No, I do not. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be that's too much. Yeah, ain't be everything.

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Speaker 1: Although I am everything, I can't be your everything. I

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Speaker 1: can remind everything that has any of your friends ever said?

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Speaker 1: Do you that you need to be a better friend?

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Speaker 1: I'm just curious. Yes, yes, I lost a whole friend,

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Speaker 1: like a whole friend. We still ain't friends. I lost

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Speaker 1: a whole friend because of that. I still ain't called

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Speaker 1: him back. I'm like, no, I tried. I actually did.

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Speaker 1: I tried to reconnect with this person. But this is

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Speaker 1: years ago, girl, child, this is the time I got married.

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Speaker 1: But I'm saying that I tried to reconnect with this

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Speaker 1: person and I still I think they were still hurt.

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Speaker 1: But I want I want them to know, and I

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Speaker 1: want you all to know that I forgive me. I'm done.

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Speaker 1: Hey man, I'm working on it, but I'm gonna call

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Speaker 1: him first. The guilt is real. My girlfriend and I

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Speaker 1: very close to me. I love her deeply and dearly,

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Speaker 1: and we just take breaks. We take for five months,

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Speaker 1: six months at a time. Because she didn't say it's

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Speaker 1: up now, I didn't say it's something. We're just rubbing

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Speaker 1: each other the wrong way. But I know her and

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Speaker 1: I love her, and today might not be our time. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'll be back. I can't have a life without you, babe,

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Speaker 1: like you you're you're my girl. So right now, while

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Speaker 1: you figured this out, and while I figured this out,

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Speaker 1: we just need the part ways because we just need ways. Well,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I've ever done it so intentionally,

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Speaker 1: but I do. I have experienced that before where it's

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Speaker 1: just like, Okay, a little bit of room is needed,

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Speaker 1: let's have it, and then you know, you come back

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Speaker 1: together and it's like, okay, cool, like that was nice.

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Speaker 1: I missed you, you know, I really did. But I

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Speaker 1: think also too, we had this moment where there were

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Speaker 1: words that needed to be said, like difficult things, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I think sometimes it's harder to work up the

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Speaker 1: nerve to say some of those things with someone you

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Speaker 1: love so much. And I appreciated us incorporating that grace

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Speaker 1: with each other where it was like, yeah, we're talking,

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Speaker 1: but we know that this is hard, so some of

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Speaker 1: it is just unspoken. It's like, Okay, I know you're

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Speaker 1: here because you're sorry, and you know I'm here because

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I love you, and we don't have to

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Speaker 1: get into the particulars of the particulars of the particulars. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's also to understanding that some of my friends have

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Speaker 1: an understanding my life is interesting. I feel like I've

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Speaker 1: been hustling for a while. So because I've been on

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Speaker 1: my hustle, because I just got off somebody's couch two

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Speaker 1: years ago. I haven't. You are always be able to

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Speaker 1: catch up with people. So you have this, you know

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Speaker 1: some certain friends who understand your life now and it's like, girl,

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Speaker 1: whenever you can call, I'm here. I love you. But

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Speaker 1: then I have to realize that I got a couple

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Speaker 1: of other friends that are like, where were you right?

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Speaker 1: And I have to explain I'm like, what you do

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Speaker 1: know that when the ship hits the fan, I'm the

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Speaker 1: friend that's there, Like if something happens to you, I'm

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Speaker 1: on a plane. So I need you to kind of

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Speaker 1: understand that how my my love is my love, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. And so that's regardless of how

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Speaker 1: much I'm calling or whatever the case, because you don't

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Speaker 1: know what's really going going on. Yeah. But see, because

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Speaker 1: of the job that I have, I found myself dealing

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Speaker 1: with that where it's like I can't be at everybody's

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Speaker 1: with it. I can't be at everybody's birthday, can be X,

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Speaker 1: Y and Z because of my job, you know, and

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Speaker 1: that whole thing there. It's like if my kids have

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Speaker 1: to deal with that I can't be at every recital,

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Speaker 1: then why can't Then why can't you? And it's like

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Speaker 1: you know that whole back and forth with you're not

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Speaker 1: there enough for me. That's what I've been That's what

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Speaker 1: I've been getting and understanding that we just had to

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Speaker 1: hold to our conversation this week. But I can't do

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Speaker 1: that every day or every week, like you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to handle that thing that we've discussed at length. You

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Speaker 1: now have to handle that, And I get I don't.

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing well with saying the same thing over

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Speaker 1: and over and over again, and you're repeating it back

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Speaker 1: to me as if you understand it and you think

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Speaker 1: the same thing that I'm thinking. At that point, it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, we're supposed to bump fist and like go forth,

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Speaker 1: but next week we're right back at it again. It's

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Speaker 1: so true. How many times we gonna playing like you

288
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Speaker 1: you got an issue, I'm helping you plan it out.

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Speaker 1: We didn't met the whole thing out, and it's like,

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Speaker 1: go go, So why are we gotta? Why are we?

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Speaker 1: Why are we back? I will have to say this

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Speaker 1: now I have the very best crew, because these are

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Speaker 1: things that they don't want understand now. The same challenges

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Speaker 1: that I had ten years ago, I don't think I

295
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Speaker 1: have them as much. Now you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm thinking this coul I got now that's been

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Speaker 1: around me for a very long time. That gets the

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Speaker 1: whole scenario. I have to keep on saying, blah blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah. They playing stuff in there like that.

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Speaker 1: This means that agent we won't confirm her till thirty

301
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Speaker 1: is out. We already know we're still gonna playing. But

302
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,960
Speaker 1: we already know. Boo, if you're not there, you the

303
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:10,720
Speaker 1: in spirit, we love you. But I do think that

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Speaker 1: takes time. That does take time. It takes that's that's

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00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,359
Speaker 1: and and and it also comes from communicating because I

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Speaker 1: think sometimes people do this what you guys are saying

307
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Speaker 1: and what we've all said, they do these things to us,

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Speaker 1: and we're so drained emotionally from the exchange that we

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Speaker 1: don't tell them. He since this is problematic. I don't

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Speaker 1: have it. I can't do it today. I had to

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Speaker 1: learn to tell my own children, I don't have this

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Speaker 1: for you today. And again, if I can tell my

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Speaker 1: own kids, I don't have this for you today, and

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Speaker 1: they understand, Yeah, we're gonna take a quick break and

315
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Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. I had a girlfriend tell

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Speaker 1: me one time she said, has anybody ever told you

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Speaker 1: you were inconsiderate? Who? It was such a punch in

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Speaker 1: a chest because I I think that I'm being considerate

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Speaker 1: of others. But I had to sit back and look

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Speaker 1: at that and go, oh, snap, that was pretty inconsiderate.

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna have to adjust my thinking because I

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Speaker 1: know her and I trust her and she has been

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Speaker 1: a beaming light in my life. So why would she

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Speaker 1: lie to me? And why would she try to harm me?

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Speaker 1: Come on, come on, there's a thing. This is how

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00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,520
Speaker 1: you know? It did thing? It did sting, and I

327
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:54,240
Speaker 1: had to reevaluate myself. That's a good friendship. That's a

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Speaker 1: good friendship. If Kim can I say this too? And

329
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Speaker 1: this is something I struggled with is sometimes I would

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Speaker 1: have these situations with my friends where it would be

331
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Speaker 1: draining different things than them, depending on me and for

332
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 1: just my energy and insight whatever it is was going

333
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Speaker 1: on with me. But there was a part of me

334
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Speaker 1: that was allowing it to happen because I loved feeling needed,

335
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:24,760
Speaker 1: and so I was perpetuating the situation and then talking,

336
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:28,600
Speaker 1: oh I'm so tired or everybody needs me, when it

337
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,960
Speaker 1: was like, oh, no, bitch, but you keep answering your

338
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:35,359
Speaker 1: phone because there's a part of you that feels validated.

339
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 1: And I had to think about that. Like I would

340
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,280
Speaker 1: give someone advice and they said, oh girl, that was

341
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 1: good advice. I'd be like, I am, look at me.

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Speaker 1: Next time you need me calling up girl, I'll be

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Speaker 1: here for you. Right. It's a hero complex bullshit. That

344
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 1: was just too much and I was really hurting myself,

345
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 1: you know, so what that somebody told me? And I

346
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 1: had to feel the sting I found out this thing,

347
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,000
Speaker 1: just kind of coming to terms with the part I

348
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 1: was playing in the situation like click when you wake

349
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Speaker 1: up and you realize then you're dealing with stuff that's

350
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,400
Speaker 1: not in your house more than you're dealing with your

351
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:25,160
Speaker 1: own house. I will run across this room when you're

352
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 1: dealing with everybody else's stuff and not maintaining your own.

353
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Speaker 1: It's like they have this game called The Sims. I

354
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 1: don't know if you'll remember that, but I was. I

355
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,119
Speaker 1: was a junkie for The Sims. I love that game.

356
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Speaker 1: And I would play The Sims and my little characters

357
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Speaker 1: would meet somebody and I would build the house and

358
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Speaker 1: get their furniture and they had to have a job,

359
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Speaker 1: and they had to pay the bills or the people

360
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: will come and take that stuff away. It was a game.

361
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 1: And then I woke up one day and realized. I

362
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:57,199
Speaker 1: was like, girl, you got dishes in the sink, Like,

363
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:05,639
Speaker 1: what are you doing. Sim's house immaculate, right, Sim's houses running.

364
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:10,159
Speaker 1: She gets enough rest. You know, my little characters got

365
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Speaker 1: a new outfit on my character, you know, hanging out

366
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Speaker 1: with friends because they need social activity, you know what

367
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 1: I'm saying. But I, on the other hand, having walked

368
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 1: alone making it, I haven't washed my ass into that

369
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 1: because I'm dealing with this, with this that is it's

370
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:34,200
Speaker 1: not our friendship. Stuff you know isn't inconsequential to us,

371
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Speaker 1: But it doesn't hold the same level of consequence as

372
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Speaker 1: me having some old, dirty dishes in my sink and

373
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Speaker 1: possibly bringing in the thing that I don't want the

374
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:49,400
Speaker 1: most mass pro chest. I don't want them. I don't

375
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 1: want them. I don't who would want that. I'm just

376
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 1: saying that, Hey, we are focusing on somebody else's life

377
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: so much, we're not dealing with the ship. And that's

378
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Speaker 1: how you know that you're not servicing yourself at all.

379
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,160
Speaker 1: And and that's the evolution of understanding friendship and connection

380
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Speaker 1: with the women in your life. Because when I was

381
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Speaker 1: a kid, my life was my mother had great girlfriends.

382
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Speaker 1: They were our family. When I took my husband home

383
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Speaker 1: to me my family, he like, um, excoose me um.

384
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Speaker 1: How many aunts do you have? I'm like, I have

385
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 1: nine thousand. I have eighty aunts, okay. And so my

386
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: mother always has such a great friend group when these

387
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 1: women helped to raise us because they were mostly single

388
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 1: mothers themselves, so she had built a community. So the

389
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: way I looked at women friends growing up was that

390
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:48,360
Speaker 1: these people are in essence my responsibility as I'm theirs.

391
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 1: So how I looked that friendship with so much more

392
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,720
Speaker 1: about family, and I had to take the good parts

393
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 1: of that and then spit out the parts that were

394
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,760
Speaker 1: sort of toxic in the way that we kind of

395
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,120
Speaker 1: just because somebody present into thing doesn't mean that that's

396
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,360
Speaker 1: how we didn't take it, you know what I mean.

397
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,719
Speaker 1: But as I got older, I started to understand some

398
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: key differences in the way that my mother functioned in

399
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 1: her friendships. My mother would play the lottery and she

400
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,679
Speaker 1: will win. She wanted a lottery a lot Actually, my

401
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 1: mother will win a lottery a lot, you know, not

402
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 1: a lot of money, five hundred dollars dollars, that kind

403
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,360
Speaker 1: of thing, and she would bring a little cash home.

404
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 1: She count the cash out, she put a little bit

405
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 1: to the side. Then she go to the drug store

406
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 1: and get cards, and so then she count out three

407
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: little stacks of the rest of the money. She would

408
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 1: figure out which if her girlfriends were in the worst situation,

409
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: whether they wasn't working or something was going on their life,

410
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 1: and she would take the rest of her lottery money

411
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: and put it into the cards and then send them

412
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 1: in the mail to her friends, and they wouldn't know

413
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: that money was coming, you know. But I've seen my

414
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:50,040
Speaker 1: mother do this multiple times, and so in my mind

415
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,440
Speaker 1: that is how I thought, you know, friendship was supposed

416
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 1: to be, which it is. But again, they had this

417
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 1: system based on necessity and need for family and support.

418
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: And there was one important thing that wasn't there. And

419
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: not that we were at lack, but there wasn't any men.

420
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: These were single mothers. So when they got us together

421
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 1: to go to the beach, we all went to the beach.

422
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 1: When we went camping, we all went camping. And as

423
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: I got older, my girlfriends, and now we got married,

424
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: we had kids, we had separate families, so our lives

425
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 1: were a little bit more isolated, and so it didn't

426
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 1: function in that same way. So I kept trying to

427
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 1: function like my mom and them did, and it just

428
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 1: was a different scenario. So we had to find our

429
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: own way. So I say all that to say, you

430
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 1: have to kind of figure out what works for you

431
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: and how you can take what you learned about friendship

432
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: and what you observed about friendship and see how that

433
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: works in the system of your own life. Sorry, and

434
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 1: that was a long story, but no, it's the truth.

435
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: So here's the thing, and went friendships. I'm gonna need

436
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: my friends. And I'm just saying if I were building

437
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 1: friendships right now, I'm gonna need my friends to give

438
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,920
Speaker 1: me the benefit of the doubt. It drives me crazy

439
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: when any friend of mine assumes the worst about me,

440
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: that bothers me. That means that we're not really friends,

441
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,960
Speaker 1: That means that you don't know me very well, Like,

442
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 1: could you ask first before you assume the absolute worst?

443
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: Could you talk to me first? I don't like that.

444
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: I don't like that at all. I feel like most

445
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,400
Speaker 1: real friends would though that's my point. Friends would be like, girl,

446
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,880
Speaker 1: did you And when people believe the negative before they

447
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: talk to me, that means that we're not friends. When

448
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 1: you have a yeah, you have this added ship, you

449
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 1: know what I mean? What makes it so much hard

450
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 1: to navigate your your friendships and your association call it

451
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: what it is, you know, right from both yeah and

452
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: so yeah, I mean that that's it's crazy, you know

453
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 1: what I mean. You might not talk to somebody for

454
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 1: for six months to a year or something like that.

455
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 1: They hear some dumb ship, they're like, wait a minute,

456
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: let me call you, and fine, No, that's what it's.

457
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: That's the way that's that's the way that that happens,

458
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And also too they'd be like,

459
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,679
Speaker 1: look at this ship or here they shouldn't be like

460
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 1: think about that, but that ship. Best believe Jill. Yeah

461
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: I did not picked up. Yeah, I did not picked

462
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 1: up a lot of times for that same reason. Thanks Like, no,

463
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 1: that don't sound like Jill or somebody just believes anything.

464
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 1: That just means you're not a friend of mine too,

465
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 1: Like I saw, for instance, on on social media, not

466
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 1: that these people were friends of Chadwicks Chadwick Brozeman. I

467
00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 1: saw that, you know, when he lost a lot of weight,

468
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 1: people were really going in and saying things like, oh, yeah,

469
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: you know he's on that Hollywood, or vegan ain't for everybody,

470
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,919
Speaker 1: or you know that cocaine hit different, or you know.

471
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:15,919
Speaker 1: I saw a lot of negativity. And Chad and I

472
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: we got really really really cool during our time together,

473
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 1: and he always made it a point to look out

474
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: for me whenever, and I always, you know, honestly, really

475
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:34,479
Speaker 1: really appreciated that. So it was only right for me

476
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: to reach out for him or reach out to him.

477
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 1: But I just wished him lighting love. I didn't ask

478
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 1: him anything because I felt like if he wanted me

479
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 1: to know something, he would tell me. So his response

480
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: to me sending him love periodically was thank you for

481
00:27:55,880 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 1: being a friend that doesn't need explanations all and and

482
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: that's that's what I'm talking about. That's genuine friendship. Some

483
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,840
Speaker 1: are really really deep and you know everything about a person.

484
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 1: Some are deep and you know, you just know their spirit,

485
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 1: you know their energy, you know that you know. And

486
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 1: some are fickle as fucked and need to be placed

487
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,959
Speaker 1: in a safe space or not had at all, and

488
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 1: at this point in my life. You know, at this age,

489
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, ah, I have no friends, but I don't

490
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: have a lot of patients. For that, I don't even

491
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 1: want to meet anybody new. Should I wish I could

492
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: forget some of the people I knew before, but they're

493
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 1: they dissipated out of my life perfectly, divinely. Yeah, I've

494
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 1: met some amazing people in the past five years or

495
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 1: maybe maybe more like maybe six seven, So I definitely

496
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: understand the fact of having like a really strong group

497
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: and sticking with that. But also to you know, how

498
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 1: you evolved in a lot of ways, not everywhere because

499
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 1: you're gonna do it bs either way. Sometimes how you

500
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,120
Speaker 1: evolved a lot of times does begin to attract certain

501
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 1: people who are right in line in alignment. And I'm

502
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: so happy with some of the women have come into

503
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: my life in recent years who have brought something so

504
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: special to my space that now I don't see my

505
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 1: life without them And I didn't have what they had

506
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 1: to offer before they came along. And so I have

507
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: really had some fabulous interactions like that here in the

508
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 1: past five six years, and um, I am so grateful

509
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 1: for that. But I think a lot of it has

510
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: to do with how I have evolved and the things

511
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 1: that I've you know, worked on it myself. I was

512
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 1: gonna say, that's that's funny you say that, Asia, because

513
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: on that note, Jill like not for nothing, I would say.

514
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 1: Seven years ago, I was introduced to a girl via

515
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,880
Speaker 1: a mutual friend who was his cousin, and we didn't

516
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: meet for a couple of years. Fast forward, I moved

517
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 1: to l A. The person that I'm staying with is

518
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: moving back to Philly, and this girl named Kadija, who

519
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: barely knew me. We just knew each other from email

520
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: and a couple of times from years before, said to me,

521
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: you want to stay at my house? And so fast

522
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: forward I lived on her couch for two years and

523
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 1: this girl is literally like she's she's the best friend

524
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 1: to me now, And not just for that reason, but

525
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: also because this girl had been in film for fifteen

526
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: years from Philly and lived in Hollywood and understood the language,

527
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: and just she was my try. I had no idea

528
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 1: that I can meet somebody who was my tribe. And

529
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: thank you God, thank you God for Kadija. Now, don't

530
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:03,240
Speaker 1: get me wrong, I'm thank you for Conthegian. I'm open um.

531
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: I'm open to people who are on my trial. I'm

532
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 1: absolutely open to it. But it does make things a

533
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: lot more challenging for me because people's so that they

534
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:18,000
Speaker 1: already know me because they heard some music or read

535
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 1: some articles. Even in relationships, like people will absolutely pretend

536
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 1: their assof in order to get in your good graces.

537
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 1: Damn ja, I know you've got some things, some stories. Yeah.

538
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: I tell people all the time that it can be

539
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: very challenging being multiple people's best resource. And I think

540
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 1: sometimes people don't mean to be in their minds, in hearts,

541
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 1: they don't mean to present like that in your life.

542
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: But there are times when people are your friends, are

543
00:31:57,720 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: close to you, and when they think of something that

544
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: they're doing, they're like, oh, I know who to call

545
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 1: because in their lives, you're the best resource they've got.

546
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: And that can happen for people who aren't even in

547
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 1: public life. Like that can mean like you're an attorney,

548
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 1: or maybe you make the most money in your family,

549
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 1: or maybe you're the most educated in your family, or

550
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 1: maybe you have the car, maybe the only person in

551
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 1: the family has has a car. Like anything can happen

552
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 1: to where you become the most resourced person. So I

553
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 1: think it's really important in terms of friendships, especially if

554
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: I was talking to younger women, is to try to

555
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:37,560
Speaker 1: not always be the most resourced person in the room.

556
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: If you're everybody's best resource in the room, then mix

557
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: it up a little bit. Have a mentor have somebody

558
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: who knows some things and has access to some things

559
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: that you don't, so that you're not always the person

560
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 1: to go to for every single thing. You know what

561
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,560
Speaker 1: I mean? And you know, I don't know if that

562
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: I hope that doesn't sound like shady, but I don't

563
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 1: think so. I think that people have this thing about

564
00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: loyalty and you're supposed to have your right or die friends. Well,

565
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 1: your ride or die friends have to ride or die

566
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 1: for you too. They have to for me. I believe

567
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 1: my friendships are with people that are growing. If you're stagnant,

568
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 1: you can be an associate, you can be somebody I know,

569
00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: and I can love you from afar, but you can't

570
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,960
Speaker 1: go where I'm going. And and that doesn't necessarily mean

571
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 1: like success wise far as a career. It just means

572
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 1: that I don't on the East Wine. It just it

573
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: means that I'm making some decisions about what I am

574
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: and how I do things, and I need my my

575
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 1: my friend to be making decisions about how they are

576
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: and how they do things too, and hopefully we're in alignment.

577
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,200
Speaker 1: And I you know, that's it, that's it, that's how

578
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: I feel. I just can't that right there. I just

579
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: can't feel drained. It's not even like some malice. It's

580
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: just like I just can't feel drained. If I feel drained,

581
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 1: then I have to make decisions about boundaries. Boundaries don't

582
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: mean I don't like you or love you. Boundaries is

583
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 1: exactly what it is. There's really no gray areas, just

584
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 1: that there's some things I cannot do in ways that

585
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,839
Speaker 1: I cannot interact and I'm just not going to do that.

586
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 1: That's like, it's not negotiable under any circumstances. And I

587
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 1: wasn't that person. I definitely wasn't that person, and I

588
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 1: had to learn the hard way. And also I want

589
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,919
Speaker 1: to add this little bit that you never know who

590
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 1: has the tools that you need, because you can, just

591
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 1: like that, have an experience that none of your friends

592
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 1: can relate to, just like that, and somebody will enter

593
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 1: your life who knows how you feel, been there and

594
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: can speak the language of your experience, and that doesn't

595
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 1: happen just because somebody being your friend a long time,

596
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 1: and they may only be there for a moment, just

597
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:07,360
Speaker 1: to get you through this thing. Listen, and then and

598
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:11,879
Speaker 1: you're forever grateful. Listen. I don't know if you guys

599
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 1: ever heard of Supernanny Ya Yoe Frost. I'm trying to

600
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:20,719
Speaker 1: tell you that when I was black the white, when

601
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 1: I was in Los Angeles by myself, trying to figure

602
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 1: out what I was supposed to be doing with this baby,

603
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 1: Joe would call me all the time, checking up on me,

604
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,360
Speaker 1: telling me how I'm supposed to do this, that or

605
00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:39,800
Speaker 1: the other. That's my point. After Jet was a certain age,

606
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,360
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't really talk to her that much.

607
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: But every now and then I'll shout her out. I'll

608
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 1: give her a call like, hey, what you're doing, what

609
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: you're up to, and I'm happy to hear that she's

610
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: happy and enjoying her life. But at that time, she

611
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: showed up. She showed up. That kind of thing happens, yo.

612
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 1: Can I tell y'all funny? Because I'm I'm very proud

613
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 1: of my friend's circle, although at times it can be

614
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 1: rather large, because I didn't live in a couple of

615
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 1: places for long periods of time. But I will say

616
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 1: that I do tell people all the time it's really

617
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 1: dope to have a diverse friend's circle in the sense

618
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 1: of resources, in the sense that I do have. Like

619
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 1: I got friends that you know everything there is about

620
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 1: the streets. But I also got like a lawyer, I

621
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,359
Speaker 1: got me a lot like and best believe, we used

622
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 1: every sort, especially Dr Nigga. Shout out to my doctor Nigga. Yes,

623
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,399
Speaker 1: that's what we call him, because no matter what how

624
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 1: much money he made, he will always be Dr Nigga

625
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 1: to us. But when my daddy got sick, we found

626
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: out he had pneumonia with Dr Nigga and said take

627
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 1: him to the hospital. You know what I mean. But again,

628
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 1: it just helps to have a full circle, a nice

629
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: little yes, so you don't have, like you said, agent,

630
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 1: so you don't have to drain one. You got multiple

631
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 1: source situation, Oh my god, it's such a blessing. Yes,

632
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: And I told you guys this before. There was a

633
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 1: time in my life where that situation I couldn't make

634
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 1: up my mind about certain things. And people with co

635
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 1: signing each other but not know having that diverse friends

636
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 1: circle also closes that space in your mind where you

637
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:12,280
Speaker 1: have doubt ye yes, because you're like, oh, that gentle

638
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: affirmation yes, just or that loud affirmation that that's right.

639
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: You know all of those things. Man, that's that's that

640
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 1: a light Like I just got the courage to ask

641
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 1: some of my bougee friends about financial things and financial

642
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 1: advice because I'm like, you know what, let me stop

643
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,240
Speaker 1: talking about how bouge they are, how I can't afford

644
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: to go to dinner with y'all and find out how

645
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 1: you're doing it. Amen, Because that right there, that whole

646
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 1: thing about that shame of not feeling like, oh well

647
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:40,839
Speaker 1: I don't have it like that, and blah blah blah blah.

648
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 1: We'll keep people from communicating some really great stuff with

649
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 1: each other. Oh my god. And when I asked to

650
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: flood it in, it was like, yeah, like you should

651
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:51,319
Speaker 1: know about this is a matter of fact. I'm gonna

652
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: send you this article. And amen, wouldn't they rather tell

653
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 1: you that than I guess we all have been in

654
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,359
Speaker 1: a situation we had to ask for friends help, but

655
00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: and not that they wouldn't want to give you, but

656
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:05,760
Speaker 1: thinking ahead, Yes, it's better than asking for fifty Okay,

657
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 1: how about how what's that with loaning money to a friend.

658
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: I don't mean anything that I expect to get back.

659
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: I just don't nice nice Typically that's my rule. Normally,

660
00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 1: that is how I respond as well. I don't really

661
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 1: expect to get it back. But you're consistent, you keep

662
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 1: coming back. You don't have to pay me back. And

663
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: when you don't pay me back, our friendship with money

664
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 1: is over. You can't ask me for nothing. This is it,

665
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 1: this is over. It's no miss. I have a friend

666
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,319
Speaker 1: who came in the clutch. I came through for him

667
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:43,120
Speaker 1: and clutch, and it hurt my feelings so much that

668
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:47,839
Speaker 1: he went on Facebook, he got married, he's going on vacations,

669
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 1: doing all of this stuff. But you haven't made an

670
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 1: effort to pay me at least a hundred dollars a month. No, okay,

671
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,879
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear about your situations and your

672
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,399
Speaker 1: your your goods or your bads. I don't hear any

673
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 1: of it. I don't care. Now you're being I find

674
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: you disrespectful. You need to give me my money until then,

675
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to know anything about your life.

676
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: I don't I'm sorry. I just find that very very

677
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:21,680
Speaker 1: disrespectful when you come through, is right. That's the lesson

678
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 1: that I need to know about that guy. Yeah, because

679
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: I've had people reach out to me about money that

680
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 1: I wasn't even thinking about, and I'm like, you know what,

681
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 1: I don't need that right now, and unless you have

682
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 1: a surplus, keep it mm hmm. Because I do think

683
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 1: it's important that people communicate its respect, communication, because that's

684
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:47,399
Speaker 1: kind of how love. Love flourishes through respect and communication,

685
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,840
Speaker 1: and the friendship is no different than anything else that

686
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 1: you want to last. I feel for some people, and

687
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 1: I've had conversations with women like this before where they're like,

688
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:59,399
Speaker 1: I don't really have any really strong friendships with men

689
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: or women, and that always makes me a little bit

690
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: sad because I don't know how to respond to it.

691
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 1: I talked to a woman recently who I think is

692
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:13,319
Speaker 1: actually brilliant and oftentimes speaks from this place that she

693
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: helps a lot of people. She does work with coaching

694
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 1: people through homeschooling, and does like some other things as well,

695
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 1: and she had revealed to me that she, you know,

696
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: didn't have a whole lot of women friends. She didn't

697
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: have a whole lot of friends, and I didn't know

698
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,800
Speaker 1: what to tell her, but I did say, hey, listen,

699
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 1: I consider you a friend, so you can add me

700
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:34,320
Speaker 1: into the fold because I think she's just an amazing person.

701
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 1: But I always wonder what it's like when you have

702
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:42,359
Speaker 1: difficulty forming those types of relationships when you were not

703
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: very social, like like you a socialist. Hell, I'm not

704
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,399
Speaker 1: surprised to know that she has a diverse friend group,

705
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 1: but everybody doesn't have that ability. I just don't know

706
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: how to get rid of How do you do that?

707
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: I don't know how to. I don't know how to.

708
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. I just love hard and can't

709
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 1: get rid of that has But you definitely can't get

710
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 1: rid of me because I will find your loss. Yeah,

711
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: I keep popping up on you. Yeah, I don't want

712
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 1: you to know. And that's the thing. I'm like, it's weird.

713
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,759
Speaker 1: I always find light in all the people that I love.

714
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: So even we were talking about this earlier, about a

715
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 1: couple of people that we look at is like questionable.

716
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 1: But yeah, and still I'm like, damn, but I love

717
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:25,120
Speaker 1: him because I see his light, and you know, it's

718
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 1: something that's my it's my fault. That's my My mama

719
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 1: called me a pussy when she was mad at me

720
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 1: at that. Psy love you, Koreema. I love you, Koreema.

721
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: I love you Koreema. That was gangster and full of love, right,

722
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 1: But I mean, yeah, I dig it. You know I

723
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 1: did that thing about not really trying to get rid

724
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:50,799
Speaker 1: of people or throw people away. That's rough. Boundaries are

725
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:58,080
Speaker 1: your friend? What are those? How you spell that? Boundaries

726
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:10,399
Speaker 1: are your friends? Let's say it again, boundary trees. I'm

727
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 1: gonna get it. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries are your friends friends. Yes,

728
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 1: I've had to have boundaries with my own mother. I've

729
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 1: had to have boundaries with my own mother because I

730
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 1: have had too because of her friends. She decides are

731
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: her friends. And I said, I ain't your friends. But

732
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 1: you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna stand over

733
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: here my business as long as it doesn't affect me financially,

734
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 1: as long as nobody is hurting you, as long as

735
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:46,359
Speaker 1: it doesn't affect you financially, because that's my money. I'm

736
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 1: going to be quiet until I see that these draining

737
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 1: people are only draining your energy. You know, I can't.

738
00:42:56,719 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: I can't stop you because you've grown, but she normally

739
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 1: comes around at some point like way a manic. I'm like,

740
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,359
Speaker 1: that's right, maw. Ain't it something when you become your

741
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 1: mama's bodyguard or her her warrior girl. Listen, my sister

742
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 1: and now are high mess man. We've gotten into many

743
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 1: many instances with people over my mother. My mother had

744
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 1: many years of health issues. So I will say that

745
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 1: there isn't a nurse in Greater Atlanta felt the pain

746
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 1: felt that hasn't felt the presence, the presidence, the presidence.

747
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 1: Dollar to wish that I had had some sisters, you know,

748
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:46,239
Speaker 1: like him, live far away. It wasn't like we got

749
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 1: a chance to see each other all the time, and

750
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 1: it would have been nice. And I did have some cousins,

751
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:54,359
Speaker 1: but they were mad at me because, uh, you know,

752
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 1: this is this is my theory that I was living

753
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 1: in Big Mama's house. You know, I was living at

754
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:03,120
Speaker 1: my with my grandmother with the with the nice at

755
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: central air condition and the you know, the thread counts

756
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 1: and queen and furniture and such. You know, so I

757
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: was Poe rich, come po rich. Hey, listen, I didn't

758
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:22,800
Speaker 1: have anything to do with that. I didn't have anything

759
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:24,319
Speaker 1: to do with that, you like, I didn't have no

760
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 1: saying living here, I didn't have nothing to do with it.

761
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 1: Did I enjoy it? Absolutely? Oh? I loved I loved

762
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 1: having sisters, and sisters is everything. And and even though

763
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:40,200
Speaker 1: we did discuss the challenges around friendship, I just really

764
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 1: need to reiterate that my my friends are my life savers.

765
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: They are my I love them. I love the women

766
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: in my life. They are really a made zine and

767
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 1: they add to me on the cellular level. And I'm

768
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 1: just really grateful my sters, so grateful to have. They're

769
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 1: both insane, they're both capricorns, May God bless them. Both

770
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: got no sense of humor. They are actually well, they're fun.

771
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 1: My sisters are just like very protective. So even though

772
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 1: I'm grown, I've got more kids than they got in

773
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: the whole mane. My sisters are extremely protective and I

774
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 1: love that because now with my mother being going, having

775
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:28,799
Speaker 1: a soft place to land, people who will treat you

776
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,720
Speaker 1: like a baby, because who don't need to be treated

777
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:35,919
Speaker 1: like a baby sometimes you listen, I'm gonna just put

778
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 1: this out here real quick while you want you on

779
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,919
Speaker 1: this no Asia, because y'all know I said to Jail

780
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,160
Speaker 1: I said to Asia the other day, I'm very conscious

781
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 1: of time lately, so and it's to a point where

782
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: I might need a little bit of help. But my

783
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,359
Speaker 1: point is that when this moment happens that happened with you,

784
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 1: the loss of your mom as an only child, I'll

785
00:45:54,280 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 1: need all of y'all, everybody. I'm just saying and is

786
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 1: now because I just needed to say it, because I

787
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,400
Speaker 1: have these thoughts. I have these thoughts on the daily

788
00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 1: and I just I'm saying that to y'all because Asia,

789
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 1: you was a motherfucker soldier, because I just I'm gonna

790
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: need everybody. Well, I want to thank both of y'all

791
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 1: because when my mother passed, you both reached out to

792
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:17,720
Speaker 1: me and just really kind of set me some loving

793
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,840
Speaker 1: and I need loving and I needed that. I needed

794
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 1: it from every person, you know, everybody who showed up

795
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 1: for me. And you know, it was a really difficult time,

796
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 1: and that really was the time when my friends really

797
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:36,479
Speaker 1: just elevated, like they went into like superstar status during

798
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 1: that time and and it have continued to but yeah, man,

799
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: my mom's energy was so big for me that it

800
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 1: needed my friends as a group to show up. But yeah,

801
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 1: I mean I think it's about how you define family,

802
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 1: and friendship has always been a part of my definition

803
00:46:56,160 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 1: of family. This has always been there for me. And

804
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 1: once I consider you a friend, I consider your family.

805
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 1: It's just that's just what it is. I don't really

806
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 1: have a whole lot of separation for that. In my mind,

807
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:12,960
Speaker 1: I want to be fully present there. But again, boundaries,

808
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 1: m boundaries still exists. Boundary bound keep practicing, says I am.

809
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 1: Get into it, Legs and gentlemen, this conversation has been

810
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:39,760
Speaker 1: about friendships and what they mean, What do they mean

811
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 1: to you? And is somebody really worth your friendship? How

812
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:52,280
Speaker 1: that's a heavy one. What do they add to your life?

813
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 1: Are they training? Are they inspiring? Is it someone that

814
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:02,719
Speaker 1: is maybe tight and you want to break free? These

815
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 1: are all your choices to make. Friendship is good, it's divine,

816
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 1: if it's real. We'll be back after the break. Coming

817
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 1: up next on the show, What's on Your Heart an

818
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,720
Speaker 1: occasional segment where we're check in with people we respect

819
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 1: about how they're really feeling hot on y'all, I think

820
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 1: that's somebody calling. That must mean it's time for what's

821
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: a hot Ladies and gentlemen, it is our pleasure on

822
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,480
Speaker 1: j dot Il to introduce you to you don't already

823
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 1: know the poet Laureat of Philadelphia, Miss Trepida Mason. Yeah,

824
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:01,040
Speaker 1: thank there is such a joy to here Joe and

825
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:05,240
Speaker 1: all of your wonderful folks out here in virtual world. Hello,

826
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 1: it's been years, it has too long, too long, but

827
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 1: you haven't changed. Look a baby knocking on? What what

828
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:19,879
Speaker 1: is it now? Two? Three? Can you believe that? Yeah?

829
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:26,799
Speaker 1: Oh my god, fabulous, thank you, thank you, thank you.

830
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 1: Mrs Chilian looked just as beautiful as ever. You're so

831
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 1: seeing you in panoramic poetry. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, that's

832
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:42,360
Speaker 1: that's a throwback. That's a throwback for real. Trepeter Mason

833
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: was there when I really started to read poetry at

834
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 1: October Gallery and at uh oh boy Willhelmina's and Warm

835
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 1: Daddies and oh man, so way back. Really really, I

836
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 1: know we show our age on here, but I'm not

837
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,359
Speaker 1: ashamed of this life in any way, shape or form.

838
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:10,480
Speaker 1: This is the good stuff. I'm so excited, ladies and gentlemen,

839
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 1: Trepeter Mason is here and you're gonna read a poem

840
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 1: to us. I certainly can, I certainly will have that.

841
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:24,319
Speaker 1: Why don't I do something since we have all these

842
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: sisters in it, sisterhood, and say her name? How about that? Okay? Yes,

843
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: say her name like you ate, sweet sap. Let it

844
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 1: slide out of you like consecrated nectar. Say her name

845
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:45,760
Speaker 1: like a supplication. Let it grace your lips like sacred psalms.

846
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 1: Say her name like a proclamation. In every line you've

847
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:52,279
Speaker 1: got to decree her saying like that rhythm and her

848
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:56,360
Speaker 1: hip all mysterious and mesmerizing. Say like the crown and

849
00:50:56,480 --> 00:51:00,719
Speaker 1: top her head bejeweled and badass adorned and decked out.

850
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:04,120
Speaker 1: Say it. Say it like your pars throp in quinch

851
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:07,440
Speaker 1: with her water like if feverish brow, when cool with

852
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:11,239
Speaker 1: her breath. She is a woman. Call her builder of

853
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 1: people and places and possibilities. Fix her of wretched, wounded

854
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 1: and wayward, lover of men, of women, of babies, of beauty,

855
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:24,319
Speaker 1: owner of joy and peace, and herself generator of protests

856
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 1: and justice and fire. Say her name like a mantra.

857
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 1: Say her name like a mantra. Say her name like

858
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:34,799
Speaker 1: a mantra, over and over again until the breeze chance

859
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 1: it back, until she ceases to be called out of

860
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 1: her name until she can freely claim what is hers,

861
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:44,399
Speaker 1: until her body is not a political agenda, until her

862
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 1: intelligence is not marginalized, until her color is not snubbed

863
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 1: and slighted, until she stops getting less wages. Say her

864
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 1: name until there is no more. She's good for a woman,

865
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:58,239
Speaker 1: she's smart for a woman. She's acting like a man.

866
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 1: Say it because it's glory, is saying because you're basking

867
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,799
Speaker 1: her all, because her lfe breaks through the dust, because

868
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 1: her down is our morning song. Say her name over

869
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 1: and over until the wind house it back, until it

870
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 1: graces our lips like a supplication, a sacred song called woman.

871
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 1: That's for your sister jail. Say her name that's supposed

872
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:29,920
Speaker 1: to be. I need you all to understand that this

873
00:52:30,080 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 1: is truly one of my favorite poets, because as you hear,

874
00:52:37,880 --> 00:52:42,919
Speaker 1: it's how she's always been. It's always been a celebration

875
00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: of the woman. It's always been this beauty. It's always

876
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 1: been this beauty on the tip of her tongue that

877
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 1: she just shared with everybody all the time, and always

878
00:52:56,239 --> 00:53:00,239
Speaker 1: such a lady. And if Peter Mason ever cussed, you

879
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 1: knew that something was up. You know that she is

880
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 1: the reason when I say that curse words to have power,

881
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:16,200
Speaker 1: she uses them. They don't use her. And that's the

882
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 1: reason why you know you are who you are. And

883
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 1: Poet Laureette, amongst grants and all kinds of things that

884
00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 1: you've been able to acquire, this is someone that is

885
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 1: actually a living, working poet. Are you still in social

886
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 1: work as well? Yes? So I have the honor of

887
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:39,680
Speaker 1: having two jobs, full time parties and a poet. And

888
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:42,840
Speaker 1: then I'm still working in mental health. So I'm a

889
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 1: therapist and a clinical social worker and i work in

890
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:50,400
Speaker 1: Kensington out here in Philly, and we're working with people

891
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 1: with mental health, substance abuse, and also intellectual disabilities. So

892
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 1: that's my daytime job along with the poetry. Also is

893
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:01,400
Speaker 1: the daytime job. I live in Philadelphia. And when you

894
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 1: said Kensington, immediately I understood what is in front of

895
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 1: you in terms of your work and the people that

896
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:10,800
Speaker 1: you are seeing every day. And who better than a

897
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:16,359
Speaker 1: poet to understand their humanity and to offer what needs

898
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,640
Speaker 1: to be offered in terms of comfort and support and resources.

899
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:22,360
Speaker 1: What a beautiful way to extend your work outside of

900
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:25,839
Speaker 1: your art. I mean, that's amazing. Thank you. And when

901
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,919
Speaker 1: one informs the other. You know, people say, um, where

902
00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 1: are you going with the clinical work versus the poetry,

903
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 1: But it really does inform the other because it's therapeutic

904
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 1: either is helping to reach others or even myself, because

905
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 1: I can't really survive this thing we live in without poetry,

906
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:48,239
Speaker 1: without art. It's no way. It's no way, you know.

907
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:51,960
Speaker 1: So I'm curious what is your like on the daily repeeda,

908
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 1: like how do you handle this on the daily? I mean,

909
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 1: I know, I don't know if you write on the daily,

910
00:54:57,120 --> 00:55:00,040
Speaker 1: is that like your outlet or But and especially that

911
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 1: you're kids intending you're dealing with a whole another stetic

912
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:06,279
Speaker 1: issues like how did you take care of self on

913
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 1: the daily? On the daily? I don't. I would like

914
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:17,799
Speaker 1: to write more, you know, on the daily prayer, reflection, gratitude. Uh.

915
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:20,879
Speaker 1: And I'm really serious because I was thinking about joy

916
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: and this whole idea of cultivating joy and what it

917
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 1: takes to cultivate joy and to be able to get

918
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 1: up in the morning and decide. You know, I have

919
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 1: a thing on my answering machine I've had for many years,

920
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 1: and it says, happiness is a choice is and we

921
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 1: don't owe anybody you know, if no one owes us happiness,

922
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:42,879
Speaker 1: it's a choice. So every day it has to be

923
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: a reckoning with that and recognizing that and that that's

924
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 1: how I get through. I have to decide that I'm

925
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 1: going to get through and this is this is me

926
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 1: all day and some days it's not easy. And then

927
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:58,520
Speaker 1: the writing helps because I know I can go to

928
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:02,560
Speaker 1: that place I can create. And then just having gratitude,

929
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:07,400
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm breathing. I got something right, right, you know,

930
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:12,160
Speaker 1: because there's a rough one. You have such you know,

931
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 1: beautiful words for women, and could you tell us like

932
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:18,919
Speaker 1: who in your life, like the women that you're really

933
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:21,759
Speaker 1: thinking of in your mind that are directly tied to

934
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:25,640
Speaker 1: you that informs such a beautiful piece. I think we

935
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:28,319
Speaker 1: can all agree that we can think of the women

936
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 1: whose names we know collectively for the reasons that we

937
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 1: know them. But who was in your heart when you're

938
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,200
Speaker 1: saying that, who is the woman you see in your mind?

939
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 1: The person I see the clearest in my mind is

940
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 1: my mother, who I lost two years ago. And this

941
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:47,879
Speaker 1: was a woman who came to America from Liberia. Immigrant

942
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:52,520
Speaker 1: came first working in the hotels, cleaning up hotel rooms

943
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:57,040
Speaker 1: and just always struggling, working as a made all these things,

944
00:56:57,120 --> 00:57:00,800
Speaker 1: and then being able to survive she survived or trauma,

945
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 1: all this stuff, and then coming on this side being

946
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 1: an immigrant, dealing with all kinds of stuff and never

947
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 1: really getting the love that she fully deserved. So I'm

948
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:12,399
Speaker 1: thinking about all of these other women that we're all

949
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:16,520
Speaker 1: familiar with, you know, I'll hear Brianna Tail, all these

950
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:20,480
Speaker 1: other folks that we know need their names said and held.

951
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:23,560
Speaker 1: But I have my mom at the core because this

952
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 1: is just some poor African women who didn't go to college,

953
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:29,760
Speaker 1: didn't do any of those things, and she never really

954
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 1: got that she needs to be in a poem, you know.

955
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:37,920
Speaker 1: So I'm always That's what we do this as artists.

956
00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 1: I'm always writing, and I'm sure you all do thinking

957
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:44,640
Speaker 1: about these women that are supposed to be poems and

958
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 1: songs and everything else that are not. So I have

959
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,840
Speaker 1: to honor them in that in that space trapide, you

960
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 1: got married, Yes, I got are you? No? I'm not

961
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:04,720
Speaker 1: at it was three three years ago. Yeah, I was

962
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:13,520
Speaker 1: single for very long. So when I talk about single,

963
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 1: more than I've been in a relationship through my life.

964
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:21,760
Speaker 1: So the marriage, I was able to find a very

965
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 1: kind soul, that's all. I Liberian. No, he's Jamaican. Yeah, yeah,

966
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 1: he's he'sn't filly. You know we met. You know what

967
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 1: I was doing. I was chilling one day. I was

968
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 1: feeling good. It was feeling good. I was walking with

969
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 1: the hicken Park, just walking. It's been three years, not

970
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:43,680
Speaker 1: in a relationship, mine in my business. And this guy

971
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 1: comes up. I was with two other friends. We were

972
00:58:45,760 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 1: doing this whole get yourself right exercise, do all this stuff.

973
00:58:49,040 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 1: When we stopped, they said, don't talk to that, don't

974
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 1: talk to strangers. We don't talk to me in the street,

975
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:57,280
Speaker 1: seven o'clock in the morning, and I said, no, he

976
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 1: seemed like a kind person. Pulled over. We talked, three

977
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 1: women facing this black man, and he says, so, what

978
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:07,959
Speaker 1: are you guys into? You know, what are you all doing?

979
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: Later and I and it goes on and on. He says, well,

980
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: can I have your number? And I wasn't really sure

981
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 1: who he was directing it too, so I said, well,

982
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:17,400
Speaker 1: what do you want all of our phone numbers? I

983
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:20,400
Speaker 1: started making all these jokes and then he said, you're funny.

984
00:59:20,600 --> 00:59:23,840
Speaker 1: I would like your number. And we went out a

985
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:27,920
Speaker 1: month later and we have been inseparable for tenure. Beautiful,

986
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:32,080
Speaker 1: You're so happy, And it was an answer prayer. I

987
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:36,160
Speaker 1: want a reel back for a second. So he hollowed

988
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 1: at you from the car. Yeah you you heard Jill's introduction.

989
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 1: I'm not that girl that's gonna be responding to the car.

990
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 1: But you know, it felt like divine intervention. And I

991
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 1: hate to sound parny here, but it's true. I prayed

992
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 1: and I really wanted this and I and I wanted

993
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 1: a special person who could be loving and kind and

994
00:59:57,920 --> 01:00:01,120
Speaker 1: not abusive, not jealous, not all these things, just a

995
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 1: good person because all I want to do is just

996
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:07,440
Speaker 1: be me in my household and me in my community,

997
01:00:08,360 --> 01:00:12,120
Speaker 1: you know. And that so regular guy. And you know

998
01:00:12,320 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 1: he's a contractor guy, chef man, the regular man. Yes

999
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 1: see I see listen contractor chefs. I heard he fixing stuff.

1000
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:32,920
Speaker 1: Yes that when you put your list down, because I

1001
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:35,600
Speaker 1: feel like everybody should have a list. You know, what

1002
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 1: is it that you really want in a person. I

1003
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:40,400
Speaker 1: know a lot of people go for the money thing

1004
01:00:40,480 --> 01:00:42,400
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, he's got to have this, that

1005
01:00:42,440 --> 01:00:45,439
Speaker 1: and the other. You you really truly want to think

1006
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:48,919
Speaker 1: about who their heart represents, you know, who's really in there?

1007
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:52,360
Speaker 1: Are they kind? Are they decent? Minded? Are they caring?

1008
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:56,320
Speaker 1: Are they affectionate? Like the things that really matter? Because

1009
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,880
Speaker 1: you know, money is fleeting. It goes out to win,

1010
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 1: though it goes on a bill. If the text man

1011
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:05,960
Speaker 1: come get it. You know that that thing doesn't really stay.

1012
01:01:06,240 --> 01:01:09,640
Speaker 1: Do truly think about the human being that you're spending

1013
01:01:09,680 --> 01:01:14,840
Speaker 1: your time with. Last, but not least, Tripuda Mazing. What's

1014
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 1: on your heart? You know we just had an election. Okay,

1015
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:22,960
Speaker 1: what's on my heart? It's not just surviving, but thriving.

1016
01:01:23,960 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 1: I talked about cultivating joy. Mental health is also on

1017
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:31,040
Speaker 1: my heart because I've been seeing it displayed in different

1018
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:35,320
Speaker 1: ways on social media or just through friends. People trying

1019
01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:39,200
Speaker 1: to cope right now, whether it was through COVID or

1020
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:43,280
Speaker 1: through the election, through the whatever. And what can I'm

1021
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:46,280
Speaker 1: asking this question, what can we do with each other?

1022
01:01:46,360 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 1: I was on a call with sister Sonia Sanchez at

1023
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,680
Speaker 1: the other day and she said, as women, we need

1024
01:01:53,720 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 1: to be kinder to one another, We need to be

1025
01:01:56,560 --> 01:01:59,880
Speaker 1: better with one another. We need to forgive and move forward.

1026
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 1: And when I'm thinking about these times, I'm thinking about

1027
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:08,880
Speaker 1: how can I make space a welcoming space, loving space,

1028
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 1: a forgiving space, gracious space to be able to welcome

1029
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 1: sisters that are on the verge or going through something

1030
01:02:17,120 --> 01:02:19,720
Speaker 1: or coming out of something, or maybe an whole and

1031
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:23,560
Speaker 1: in peace, but still needed to be refueled. That's what's

1032
01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 1: on my mind. How can I be an agent, a gateway,

1033
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:31,440
Speaker 1: something to make somebody's day a little better, especially in

1034
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:37,000
Speaker 1: these times, especially in these times. I thank you so

1035
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:40,200
Speaker 1: much for spending your time with us. Thank you, Thank

1036
01:02:40,240 --> 01:02:42,960
Speaker 1: you so much for sharing all that you are. You

1037
01:02:43,040 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 1: are an inspiration and have always been from the very

1038
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:50,520
Speaker 1: beginning to now, so proud of you. And I'm happy

1039
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:54,720
Speaker 1: for every instance of happiness that you feel. Thank you.

1040
01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 1: Look at you. I just want to tell you I

1041
01:02:57,520 --> 01:03:01,439
Speaker 1: love you and I thank you because whether you're here

1042
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:05,560
Speaker 1: or wherever you are in Philly, you have love for us.

1043
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 1: And I'm talking about us, and it's really really evident.

1044
01:03:09,840 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 1: I'm very proud of you, and you should know that.

1045
01:03:13,120 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 1: Thank you should know that, and I thank you. And

1046
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 1: and this wasn't just a love fest between me and

1047
01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 1: Jail here, ladies, so I thank you for having me

1048
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 1: in this space. This is a blessing that's supposed to

1049
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 1: be mm hmm well, tear's a joy. J the Podcast

1050
01:03:33,680 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 1: And uh, shine your light on another sister friend, even

1051
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,760
Speaker 1: if it's even if it's a stranger. You see somebody

1052
01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 1: and you can feel an energy, because that's one of

1053
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:46,760
Speaker 1: the powers of black women. We can feel, so we

1054
01:03:46,840 --> 01:03:51,040
Speaker 1: can feel. We are antennas. And if you happen across

1055
01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:53,880
Speaker 1: somebody who needs a little bit of light on, needs

1056
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 1: a gentle touch, going to share that thing. You got gloves,

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01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 1: you got a mask, hurt you, you can do it.

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01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:05,560
Speaker 1: Peace and blessings everybody, so much love, talk to you.

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01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:16,280
Speaker 1: So how do you eat an elephant? One? By? It time?

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Speaker 1: All right, y'all know what time it is. I'm producer

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01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:29,640
Speaker 1: Eves and I'm bringing you yet another resource. This time

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01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:32,760
Speaker 1: I like to share one of Laya's recommendations, which is

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01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 1: the novel The Friends by Rosa Guy. The book is

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01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:38,320
Speaker 1: the first part of a trilogy by the author who

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01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 1: wrote plenty of young adult fiction as well as novels

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01:04:41,680 --> 01:04:44,920
Speaker 1: for adults. That's all for today, and as always I'll

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01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:46,840
Speaker 1: drop a link to more info about the book and

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01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:54,080
Speaker 1: the episode description. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott

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01:04:54,120 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 1: Presents Jay dot Il the Podcast. This podcast is hosted

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01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:18,960
Speaker 1: by Jill Scott, Layah st Clair, and agent Graden Danceler.

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01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:23,320
Speaker 1: It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Shawn g and Brian Calhoun.

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01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:27,479
Speaker 1: It's produced by La st Clair and Medeve Jeff Cote.

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01:05:27,720 --> 01:05:30,280
Speaker 1: The editing and sound design for this episode we're done

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01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 1: by Christina Larenger. J dot Ill is a production of

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01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:41,960
Speaker 1: I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,

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01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 1: visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever

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01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:48,640
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.