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Speaker 1: Hey guys, I'm Kaylie Shore and this is too much

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Speaker 1: to say. Don't ask questions it out you. Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for the response in last week's episode. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: it's a subject that's very close to my heart and

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Speaker 1: just something that I want to get the message out about.

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Speaker 1: And it's just feels like a very big blessing in

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Speaker 1: the middle of some very sad things. Um. But the

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Speaker 1: blessing is to be able to have a platform to

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Speaker 1: share it and know that people are listening and not

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Speaker 1: just scream into the ether um, which I would be

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Speaker 1: doing anyways. But thank you for listening. And also, heads up,

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Speaker 1: I'm very sorry for the loud construction in the background.

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Speaker 1: I record this at home, and I both of the

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Speaker 1: neighborhoods I live in in Nashville and Los Angeles are

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Speaker 1: in very under development. So um, that just means it's

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Speaker 1: loud all the time, but it gets me up at

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Speaker 1: a normal time. Um. But speaking about living in two

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Speaker 1: cities this episode, I wanted to talk about long distance

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Speaker 1: relationships because I suppose I'm sort of in one. UM.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend Sam and I we both live between Nashville

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Speaker 1: and l A. So we have a house here in

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Speaker 1: the house there and a trillion roommates to make it work,

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Speaker 1: but we will have to go periods of time without

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Speaker 1: seeing each other. And even though like you know, right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm in l A and like this is our house

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Speaker 1: and we'll be in Nashville together and that's our house, UM,

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Speaker 1: it's still kind of it's it's a it's an interesting setup,

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Speaker 1: but it does feel very much like a long distance relationship.

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Speaker 1: And the longest we've had to go without seeing each

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Speaker 1: other was when he was filming his movie and I

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Speaker 1: was like in the UK and it was just to

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Speaker 1: very cluster fudge of a month. Um. But that was

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Speaker 1: like back in October, and we had to go almost

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Speaker 1: a month without seeing each other. And I am the

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Speaker 1: kind of person where I really don't like being on

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Speaker 1: my phone. I really prefer to be in person with people,

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Speaker 1: and so having face time and texting and all of

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Speaker 1: that be the only way that I can talk to

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Speaker 1: my favorite person on the planet really stresses me out

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Speaker 1: because I want to talk to him. But I also

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Speaker 1: just like I don't want to look at a screen

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Speaker 1: any longer than I possibly have to. Um. And so

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Speaker 1: we have like kind of different styles of that and

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Speaker 1: we're working on, you know, just paying attention to each

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Speaker 1: other's needs and learning more about each other. And I

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Speaker 1: think that us being quote unquote long distance has made

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Speaker 1: our relationships so much stronger. And there's so many things

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Speaker 1: that we've had to communicate about that if we were

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Speaker 1: together might just be able to be swept under the

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Speaker 1: rug and then might become bigger issues down the road. Um.

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Speaker 1: I've never really last time was in a long distance relationship.

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Speaker 1: It was like middle school. So um, and it's still

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Speaker 1: nice because like there's a lot of things you deal

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Speaker 1: with being in a long distance relationship that don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: apply to Sam and I. UM, so we're going to

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Speaker 1: dive into that more. But yeah, we're gonna spill a

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Speaker 1: little tea and talk to you guys about what happens

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Speaker 1: um in my relationship Granma. Okay, So obviously there's plenty

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Speaker 1: of downsides to being in a long distance relationship, right,

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Speaker 1: like you know, not seeing each other, But there's also

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Speaker 1: like some really sneaky ones that I think might be

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Speaker 1: what really causes friction in a relationship. And so I,

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Speaker 1: like I said, haven't been in any adult long distance

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Speaker 1: relationships aside from just being on the road. Um, and

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Speaker 1: like touring. But Sam has been in several actually all

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Speaker 1: of his adult girlfriends have been long distance until me,

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Speaker 1: and then I still have to throw us for a

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Speaker 1: loop with the whole l a thing. Um. But I

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Speaker 1: think that from observing with my friends and hearing him

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Speaker 1: talk about his past relationships, I think that one of

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Speaker 1: the most detrimental things to a long distance relationship is

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Speaker 1: the fact that one person when you come to visit,

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Speaker 1: one person is on vacation, and one person still has

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Speaker 1: to do their regular life. And if they don't any

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Speaker 1: flexibility and you're able to take time off just to

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Speaker 1: hang out with your person while they're there, then they

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Speaker 1: never fully enter your world, and they never fully enter

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Speaker 1: your pattern, and they never fully enter like what your

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Speaker 1: day to day is. And so having somebody that you're

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Speaker 1: just on vacation with when you see each other like

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Speaker 1: and then y'all one day aren't in a long distance

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Speaker 1: relationship anymore, it's going to be really hard to find

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Speaker 1: that rhythm because you've never done everyday stuff, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I think that there's this, um. You know, you

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Speaker 1: want to entertain people when they come visit, and you

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Speaker 1: want to entertain this person, You want to spend all

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Speaker 1: this time with them, so it's kind of hard to

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Speaker 1: have the discipline to do that, and especially if you

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Speaker 1: don't see each other very often. So Sam and I

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Speaker 1: definitely make an effort for when we are together too,

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Speaker 1: like both still be working, and I feel like that's

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Speaker 1: a place where we're very lucky because we both um

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Speaker 1: our singer songwriters and can work in l a and

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Speaker 1: Nashville equally. So he has, you know, a bunch of

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Speaker 1: sessions while he's here in l A UM and he's

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Speaker 1: actually here for a month, so we're kind of heading

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Speaker 1: more towards him being here more often and finding that

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Speaker 1: rhythm together. So it's really nice to like get up

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Speaker 1: and like we do work on our on our laptops

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Speaker 1: together and answer emails and like it's not just oh,

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Speaker 1: let's stay in bed all day and watch TV, because

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Speaker 1: that could be so fun, Like it's so fun, but

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Speaker 1: it's not real, Like that's not that's not an actual

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Speaker 1: like relationship. That's that's a vacation, you know, And so

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Speaker 1: I feel like that can be hard and say, I'm

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Speaker 1: one of his long term relationships was in another country,

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Speaker 1: so when he went there, there was no way he

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Speaker 1: was ever going to enter her real life, because if

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Speaker 1: he flew all the way to a different hemisphere, then

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Speaker 1: of course all the time that they're together is going

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Speaker 1: to be like spent together. Securely blame people for it,

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Speaker 1: but I think that the more you can try to

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Speaker 1: like be mindful of that, the better, so that you

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Speaker 1: feel like you're actually a part of each other's lives

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Speaker 1: and not just an entire break from it. And then

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Speaker 1: obviously the biggest downside is just missing each other. But

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Speaker 1: it's missing each other there in several senses of the word.

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Speaker 1: It's missing each other and like wanting to be together

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Speaker 1: and having that like aching feeling where you just like

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Speaker 1: want to be with your person, but it's also being

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Speaker 1: on different time zones and being on different schedules and

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Speaker 1: wanting to FaceTime. But one person's three hours ahead and

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Speaker 1: Sam and I've run into that when he's been in

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Speaker 1: um like when he was doing his movie, he was

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Speaker 1: an Eastern time and when I was in l A.

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Speaker 1: Then not to mention when I was in the UK,

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Speaker 1: and that's a nine hour difference. So like when he's

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Speaker 1: waking up, I'm like in the middle of my day

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Speaker 1: and doing stuff, and so it's just like a very

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Speaker 1: very interesting schedule to try to balance because you have

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Speaker 1: two different schedules and routines and so it's very frequent

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Speaker 1: that you miss each other and then because of that,

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Speaker 1: you miss each other. Okay, so here's the happy part.

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Speaker 1: I have found ways to make this work. Sam and

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Speaker 1: I have definitely found ways to make it work. And

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Speaker 1: I will say, like, you know, being together for months

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Speaker 1: at a time certainly helps. And I know that we're

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Speaker 1: lucky because we can both work in the same cities

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Speaker 1: that we go back and forth between. But um, I

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Speaker 1: think we found a routine that really works and makes

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Speaker 1: us both feel like present in the relationship and like

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Speaker 1: we're still part of each other's lives, because that can

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Speaker 1: be the hardest thing is just feeling like distant, I mean, duh,

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Speaker 1: but like feeling like you're one degree separated from your person,

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Speaker 1: Like that's not a good feeling at all. So just

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Speaker 1: I mean, phase time being a thing like is incredible. Um.

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Speaker 1: And Sam is the best because he's usually when he's

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Speaker 1: a Nashville, he's two hours ahead, and he's the nicest

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Speaker 1: guy ever about letting me wake him up. So when

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Speaker 1: I get home, even if it's like super super late,

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Speaker 1: like three am, my time five am, his time. He

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Speaker 1: still wants me to call him, and I think that

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Speaker 1: that's so sweet because sleep is a very important thing

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Speaker 1: and he will always lose it to say good night

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Speaker 1: to me, and I think that that's just the best.

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Speaker 1: And so just calling each other throughout the day to

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Speaker 1: say that we miss each other, and um, like I'll

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Speaker 1: take pictures when I'm out of stuff that makes me

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Speaker 1: think of him and make him feel like he's there. Um,

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Speaker 1: we'll face time with like if he's a Nashville FaceTime

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Speaker 1: with our roommates when in l A and um, you know,

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Speaker 1: I'll help. He'll feel like he's sitting around the kitchen

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Speaker 1: counter with us too and feel included. Um. And he'll

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Speaker 1: do really cute things like he sends me flowers for

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Speaker 1: no reason, which is like my favorite thing ever as

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Speaker 1: far as like Valentine's and stuff like I don't really

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Speaker 1: care about chocolates or really anything, but I love flowers.

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Speaker 1: I love flowers. I love having them around the house

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Speaker 1: and buy myself flowers and Trader Joe's all the time.

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Speaker 1: But it's just really cute to be able to like,

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Speaker 1: you know, get that from him. Or sometimes he'll um

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Speaker 1: like he'll buy me. Um, he'll ask me what I

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Speaker 1: want from a restaurant and he'll send me Uber eats

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Speaker 1: and he'll be in Nashville, but he'll send me like dinner.

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Speaker 1: And I think that that's just literally the most precious

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Speaker 1: thing ever, um, and it makes me feel like he's

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Speaker 1: here with me. And we also have UM we watched

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Speaker 1: TV together, so we'll face time and like we'll have

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Speaker 1: to mute it, you know, because you'll hear the it

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Speaker 1: echoing back and forth and that's really annoying. But UM,

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Speaker 1: we'll like watch something together and watch it at the

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Speaker 1: exact same time and like count down to three before

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Speaker 1: we pause an unpausit um, so that we're watching the

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Speaker 1: same thing. And right now we've been watching White Lotus uh.

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Speaker 1: And now that he's here in l A, we've been

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Speaker 1: watching The Last of Us and it is way more

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Speaker 1: fun to watch like a spooky show when you can

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Speaker 1: actually cuttle the person. So I love that. I love

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Speaker 1: that he's here, um, and I love that we found

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Speaker 1: ways to make this work. And I'm very thankful that

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Speaker 1: he's going to be in California more because, you know,

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Speaker 1: given the chance, who really wants to be a long

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Speaker 1: distance but I also think that something happens when we're

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Speaker 1: gone from each other, and it's like I have to

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Speaker 1: stay busy because I will get sad and miss him.

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Speaker 1: And so when I come home at night and the

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Speaker 1: house is just like quiet, like I'll work on something

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Speaker 1: and I'll start a song idea, or like when I'm

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Speaker 1: by myself and I'm not talking to someone, like, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I end up posting on social media more

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Speaker 1: because it's like talking to people, um if that makes

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Speaker 1: any sense, Like I'll have a funny thought and I'll

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, I should post it on TikTok. And

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Speaker 1: it doesn't happen as much when I'm like around people,

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Speaker 1: whether it's Sam or not. Um. So, I feel like

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Speaker 1: my creative output is a little bit higher. And then

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Speaker 1: I have this opportunity to miss him like crazy, and

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Speaker 1: then when we see each other, it's like absolutely amazing.

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Speaker 1: Um So, you know, I really feel like there's been

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Speaker 1: a lot of good to come out of this situation.

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Speaker 1: I'm very proud of us in our relationship and also, um,

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Speaker 1: February third is our three year anniversary, and I'm very excited.

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Speaker 1: It's been an amazing three years with him. I've learned

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Speaker 1: so much about myself. I've learned so much about the world,

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Speaker 1: and I've never been in love like this before. But

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Speaker 1: he's the absolute best. And it's so funny because I

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Speaker 1: don't think he listens to my podcast at all, and

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Speaker 1: to be fair, like if he had one, I probably

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Speaker 1: wouldn't either, because like living with me is like a podcast. Um,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, so if he does hear this, he knows.

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Speaker 1: I tell him how much I love him all the time.

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Speaker 1: But you guys are the best. Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for listening. I'm Kley Shure and this is too much

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Speaker 1: to say. Go to my say I'll tell it out

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Speaker 1: of you. You