1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: Alright, let's get into it is that time stop later. Well, 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:08,280 Speaker 1: my friends, thank you, my friend junior subject. There are 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:12,319 Speaker 1: three of us in this relationship. Dear Stephen Shirley, I've 4 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,159 Speaker 1: been with my now fiance for three years and I 5 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 1: cannot wrap my head around. What I can't wrap my 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,960 Speaker 1: head around is his closeness with his older sister. When 7 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,639 Speaker 1: we first started dating, my fiance sister called and texted 8 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: him excessively. They would stay on the phone forever, and 9 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: she would pop up at his house whenever she wanted to. 10 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,959 Speaker 1: He told me that she just had to get used 11 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 1: to the fact that he was no longer single, and uh, 12 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: you know, because they had always spent a lot of 13 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: time together. His sister used to come over to his 14 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,240 Speaker 1: house on Saturday mornings to do her laundry, and then 15 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: she would stay and hang out with us for the 16 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: rest of the day. She often included herself on our 17 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: dates too. She recently bought a condo and she customized 18 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: the guest room for my fiance with the colors of 19 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: his favorite NFL team, just in case he ever wanted 20 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 1: to spend the night at her place. His sister is 21 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: a cute girl, and she's successful but she is single, 22 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 1: and she's not making any effort. She's not making an 23 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 1: effort to meet or date anyone. I'm concerned that, uh, 24 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: she is still too dependent on my fiance for advice 25 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,760 Speaker 1: and event about what's going on in her life. I'm 26 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 1: wondering how she expects her relationship to change with my 27 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:29,759 Speaker 1: fiance once we are married. Um, we will build our 28 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: own lives and we want her to feel like she's 29 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 1: a part of that. But we must set some boundaries. 30 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 1: My fiance is very family oriented, but I'm an only child, 31 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 1: so it's different for me. He doesn't want her to 32 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: feel like he's pushing her away, so how should he 33 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: do it? Please advise. I think everything in your letter 34 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: that you've written to us is spot on. I understand 35 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: how you feel, and I will have to tell you 36 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: this though. It's going to be a problem in your 37 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: marriage if your husband doesn't check her, and he needs 38 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,560 Speaker 1: to check her like immediately. And and why do I 39 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: think it's going to be a problem in your marriage? Uh, Well, 40 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: I'll tell you because it's a problem right now and 41 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 1: your engagement. Um, sin is just way too much in 42 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 1: the business. I mean way too much. I mean her 43 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: popping up at the house whenever she wants to. Um, 44 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 1: you know, coming over to the house on Saturday mornings 45 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: to do her laundry and hanging out with you guys 46 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: all day. Uh. You know, her brother has had your 47 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: fiancee has had ample time to ease her into the change. 48 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: And uh, you of course being that change. I mean, 49 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 1: you guys have been together three years, you've been engaged 50 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: for three years. He's got to introduce her to some 51 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: of his friends. Where her girlfriends, I mean, how where's 52 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 1: her the mom and dad, the family? Where other people 53 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: in her life? Where are they? Um? You know, you 54 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:55,079 Speaker 1: guys got to start bringing another guy along to meet her. 55 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: You know when you guys go out and stuff. I mean, 56 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: you gotta be creative so she can meet eat him 57 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: and hang out with him and leave you guys along. 58 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: You know, he's got to have this talk with her, 59 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,520 Speaker 1: you know about threes of crowd and all that, you 60 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 1: guys needing your space, and he's got to get her 61 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: to understand that things are changing. His life is changing. 62 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 1: He's going to marry you, and you guys will be together. 63 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,919 Speaker 1: And that means she's got to back up and not 64 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: just pop up. Respect you guys. Is is you guys 65 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 1: is privacy and all of that. You're getting ready to 66 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: start a family. She needs to understand that. And the 67 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 1: sooner you do it, the better, Steve, what, I don't 68 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: have that kind of answer. I'm just gonna be real 69 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: with you. I'm sure I appreciate you saying all that, 70 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: and what you're saying, you know makes sense and everything 71 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: you know it sound real clinical and everything you know 72 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: and you know and you know, maybe this can do something. 73 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: Think this ain't what this is? Okay, well, okay, he 74 00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: close to his older sister. Uh huh, sat the she 75 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: his mama girlfriend. This ain't just now, it ain't a girlfriend. 76 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: She thinks she his mama. She hadn't got a new 77 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: apartment and put a room together for his little punk 78 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:20,520 Speaker 1: ass in his favorite football team Colors. What oh what 79 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 1: you can't now? You got a little twin bad with 80 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 1: a brown helmet on it. Where you got a little 81 00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: racing card pillows and I know how much you like 82 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: to play video games. I got warm plugged up. Something wrong, Hill, Yeah, 83 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: something is seriously wrong here. And then uh uh he 84 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: told her that she just gotta get used that that 85 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: his sister gotta get used to him not being single anymore. 86 00:04:55,800 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: She know that. You said she's smart, you said she's attractive. 87 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: She no, he ain't single no more. But what you 88 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:11,599 Speaker 1: got to do with it? Now? Here go your problem? 89 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:16,799 Speaker 1: She is, she's a single, she's an only child. She's 90 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:21,479 Speaker 1: not from a big family. She has no idea or 91 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: any experience with being close to a sibling of any 92 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: kind older, younger, twin. She ain't had that, so she 93 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 1: don't understand how in the world her sister can be 94 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: that close to her brother. Now. It ain't not not 95 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 1: we careful either, but just the way it is. And 96 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: and Sherley is absolutely correct about the marriage piece. If 97 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: this don't get fixed before the marriage, what the path? 98 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 1: The pastor told me one time, He said, the day 99 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: after marriage. The only thing that changes the day after 100 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,799 Speaker 1: you're married is the appearance of the left hand third finger. 101 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 1: Nothing else changes, Nothing else changes. What what's gonna happen? 102 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: He gonna suddenly? What now it's gonna be more? It is? 103 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: What do you want her to do when we get married? 104 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 1: When you get married, she's still coming over there. Now 105 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,440 Speaker 1: you want to set some parameters. But he don't know how. 106 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: He just said he don't want her to feel like 107 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:30,080 Speaker 1: she being pushed away. So now what we're gonna do. 108 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 1: So when we come back, there will be a reenactment, 109 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: count on it. I live for those re enactments. I'm 110 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:48,719 Speaker 1: gonna be this time. I'm gonna be the dude trying 111 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 1: to explain to you, my wife, why my sister gonna 112 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: keep coming over here right after this? You don't want 113 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 1: to miss? Yeah, wouldn't that's no surprise. Yeah? Yeah, and Jay, 114 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: you play an awesome woman. I wanted to be the 115 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: sister though. I mean, but that's what we can do. That. 116 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: That's cool. No, no, no, I like that too. Let's 117 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: go with that. Alright. Look, we'll have part two of 118 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: Steve's response and a reenactment coming up. Yeah. Oh, this 119 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: lady morodion because she mad because her hud fiance saying 120 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: real close with his older sister. She didn't got a 121 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: new house and didn't put a room in it for 122 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 1: him and painted his favorite football team on it like 123 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,960 Speaker 1: he nine. She worried that when she getting married nothing 124 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: to change it ain't and then uh, she don't understand 125 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 1: because she's from single parent. She is she's been the 126 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: only child, so she don't understand dynamics of family. She 127 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: don't understand how anybody could be that close. So she 128 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:54,160 Speaker 1: has no siblings. So we decided to do is a reenactment. 129 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: I'm the guy and Jay, who you gonna be this time? 130 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: His sister? You're gonna be his sister? Trying to explain 131 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 1: who I guess why we're gonna stay together? Yeah, all right, 132 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: let's go. Hey, Hey, Conore, how are you doing? How 133 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: you doing today? Hey? I'm glad you came over. You 134 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: know I got no no, I'm show. I'm show glad 135 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: you let me over. I got everything you know. I 136 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: got brown all dressed is dressed up like the browns, 137 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: and everything is that you like by the big godamn 138 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 1: cook by the bed. Yeah, all that because I know 139 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 1: that's what you like. So I got all that for 140 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: you with everything you like. I got chocolate mill you 141 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: got did you get blog? I got Belogne and slice 142 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: like you like. Boom boom boom. I got the jeesus 143 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:44,960 Speaker 1: you like everything? Hold on, hold on, hold hold on, sis, 144 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: hold on, sip baby. Did you hear that? She didn't 145 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 1: put all that in her house for me? So that's 146 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: over here. Whenever you whenever you're over there with your wife. 147 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,839 Speaker 1: When you feel like you want to kick back with 148 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 1: let you come over here. Yeah, yeah, because you know, 149 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: because you know what sins My wife ain't got all that. 150 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 1: She ain't got none of that over that Boom told me, 151 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 1: told me, told me we wouldn't need no Belogning. I 152 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,120 Speaker 1: don't even know why you would marry her somebody like 153 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,319 Speaker 1: that who don't like Belogning. Well you know what what 154 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 1: behold of those? Since you know she grew up well 155 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,559 Speaker 1: off in their thing and so you know what, did 156 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: you know? M reunion? That's gonna work to me? Just 157 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 1: to me. We'll hold on, baby, hold on now, you know, 158 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: don't say that she a nice like Belogning. Who due 159 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: don't like Belogning. I don't know how. I don't know, man, 160 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: I've been trying. I ain't found nobody. I ain't never 161 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: met nobody that don't like Belogne. Godly that ain't even 162 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 1: Christian shout like, yeah, that's simple as you think she's 163 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 1: satanic though, I think just by hearing that, just hearing that, yeah, man, 164 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,840 Speaker 1: you know what's devil to me. I'm gonna have to 165 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,719 Speaker 1: look into that. De does that get out? Because what 166 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:09,319 Speaker 1: is devil worshippers. They don't argument, man, I ain't even 167 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,480 Speaker 1: even I hadn't even thought of that. I'm gonna look 168 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: that up on the internet. Huh, you haven't seen the vampire, 169 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: the belogning sandwich. I'll be dog gone, I'll look. You 170 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: can come, but she can't come. The devil can't come over. No. 171 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, wait minute, wait minute, baby, hold on, now, 172 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 1: hold on, sis, Sis, come on, now, come on. Now, 173 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 1: we don't know that she the devil. I told y'all 174 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,199 Speaker 1: gonna look it up on the internet, and it ain't 175 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: no sign that she the devil. She really is a 176 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 1: sweet person. But you know, you know, let's let's google 177 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,480 Speaker 1: and give it a chance, you know, and then but 178 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: I'll tell you what google. But hold on, hold on, 179 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 1: let's take it over Big Mama's how called big Mama. 180 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: She know that kind of stuf. Mama will tell you 181 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: you can google, move doogle it. I don't care, but 182 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: see big Mama or not listen to me, because what 183 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,560 Speaker 1: big Mama do hang a chicken foot around her? Nick 184 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: and Neil with a note. That's what I'm talking about. Man, 185 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: I'm so glad you're my sister anytime. Fridge and they 186 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: got the pantry. Stop with it thing? You like? Why 187 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,440 Speaker 1: isn't she Why isn't she in a relationship? She's who 188 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:23,560 Speaker 1: I thought it was just you and me. I don't 189 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: know you know what? She got another sister? Too bad? 190 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:32,719 Speaker 1: We're an only she's an only child. Yeah, that's what 191 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,439 Speaker 1: that ain't nor sister. I don't know who they do. 192 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: I think that's a ghost, you know what? You know what? 193 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 1: That is spooky? That is damned spooky whispering. Didn't you 194 00:11:54,800 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to break up with her there? Yes, 195 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: it is. This a reunion that is not go work. 196 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: And I've got which I'll get you back. I'm glad 197 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: we had is to thank you sis anytime I'm here? 198 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 1: Who gives you key? Man? Look at this room right here? 199 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:27,679 Speaker 1: Appreciated brownies man one day where orange prof. Only a 200 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: sister would do that for you? Did your wife make 201 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: any brownies? Well? Well she allergic to nuts? Good answer 202 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: in scene again, she's a cute girl and successful. Why 203 00:12:45,080 --> 00:13:02,560 Speaker 1: is she still single? Man? Devil? But you don't see 204 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 1: he's still being cart Let that go out. She's a 205 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:24,200 Speaker 1: leg she needs some friends, she does, yeah, because it 206 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: ain't gonna work if he married her. No, she's not 207 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: going away unless you really said some boundaries. Yes, seriously, 208 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 1: they have to. She she's got to get out of 209 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,439 Speaker 1: their relationship. She has, and somebody else has to get 210 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 1: out of character right now. Not the wow too close walls. Yes, 211 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: we got back. And you know what else she needs. 212 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,559 Speaker 1: She needs the laundry room. She needs the washer and dryer. 213 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,439 Speaker 1: That's what she needs, all right. Listen, guys, we gotta go. 214 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 1: Email us or instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry 215 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM or at My Girl Shirley. 216 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.