00:00:08 Speaker 1: But I invited you here. I thought I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guest to my home. You gotta come to me empty And I said, no guests, you're our presences. Presence enough. I already had too much stuff. So how did you dan to surbey me? 00:00:49 Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts, I'm precher Wineger. We're here in the studio. It's another seven pm recording. Nothing can ruin my good mood unless even the smallest thing goes wrong. So we'll just see how this all unfolds. I'll tell you what I'm flying. 00:01:12 Speaker 3: I went. 00:01:13 Speaker 2: I had one of my classic five thirty PM dinners alone at In and Out, And while I was there, a little girl told me I look like a beautiful doll. Everyone needs to recognize that I'm a beautiful doll. I need more people spreading the word that I'm a beautiful doll. I thought that was very nice of her. She didn't have to tell me I was a beautiful doll. And so now I'm I mean that'll carry me for weeks. So thank you, little girl. And is there that's the big news in my life? Is there anything else happening? I don't I watched the documentary about the guy who crashed the cruise ship. That was dark. That's another reason not to go on a cruise. I didn't realize. I'm not getting into the cruise right now. That's a tough situation. No, I think that's about it. We have Patreon, you know, patreon dot com slash. I said, no gifts. It's just a I mean, it's heaven on Earth. Everyone's there having the time of their life. I'm having the time of my life. We have bonus episodes, you know, the whole thing. Get over there, join us. We're we're having a great time. And that's it. I think we should get into the podcast. I love today's guest. It's Hayden Johnson. Hayden, welcome to I said, no gifts. 00:02:29 Speaker 3: Thank you that you didn't segue by saying, and here's a beautiful and speaking of beautiful. 00:02:35 Speaker 2: Dolls, See, this is why you should host it. 00:02:37 Speaker 3: It feels almost pointed to me. So I we're starting with animosity. 00:02:42 Speaker 2: There's only one beautiful doll in this room. 00:02:44 Speaker 3: That's right. Well there are too, there are two. 00:02:48 Speaker 2: Wow. See I'm heading the keys to you. 00:02:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, just take you don't have to you don't have to. We can both. We can be like one of those little you know how people collect those little sets of porcelain like babies. 00:02:58 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course. 00:02:59 Speaker 3: We can both kind of be a different baby. 00:03:01 Speaker 2: The little like the little angel things you'd buy a Hallmark Precious. 00:03:05 Speaker 3: Moments, Precious Moments. 00:03:07 Speaker 2: We are a couple of pressure moments. 00:03:10 Speaker 3: Change the name of the podcast Precious Moments. 00:03:15 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's a really good I didn't know what to do with the beautiful doll information other than to just what a sweet thing for a child to say that? 00:03:23 Speaker 3: It is really really sweet. I feel like, is it I want? I mean, I'm not. I don't want to guess as to why. 00:03:29 Speaker 2: Yeah, I did not. I didn't ask for details. Let's just leave it. Yeah, it's a doll. 00:03:34 Speaker 3: That's incredible. And then my question about the man who crashed the cruise ship. 00:03:39 Speaker 2: Oh my god, did you watch this? 00:03:40 Speaker 3: I don't know about this. I assume you mean the Titanic. 00:03:45 Speaker 2: I refer to the Titanic as the cruise ship. 00:03:49 Speaker 3: You guys, hear about this cruise ship that went down. 00:03:53 Speaker 2: That you never really called the Titanic was a cruise ship. 00:03:57 Speaker 3: I guess yeah. 00:03:58 Speaker 2: I think we just need to say it. It was a cruise ship like a carnival cruise. 00:04:04 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I don't know if there was a pool on deck. I like to imagine there. 00:04:08 Speaker 2: Was a water slide. Yeah, could go kart track. 00:04:11 Speaker 3: It's sad to think that they maybe didn't get that before the big crack. 00:04:16 Speaker 2: Right, the Titanic was kind of worse than a carnival cruise. Let's be honest. 00:04:19 Speaker 3: I would say, yeah, I would rather be on a carnival cruise. 00:04:23 Speaker 2: It was a bad cruise line. 00:04:25 Speaker 3: I would feel like really bad. I mean, being a man on the Titanic, I imagine, is really tough, and I imagine like the worst like trans woman like closet trans people to ever exist were the people who realized that because they had not transitioned before the Titanic went down, that they wouldn't be able to get into the boat and that they would then die, which I think is a beautiful lesson for people. 00:04:50 Speaker 2: Maybe the most selfish thought you could possibly Wow, but that's true. Yeah, Wow, that's really interesting. 00:04:58 Speaker 3: If people were honest about who they. 00:05:01 Speaker 2: Are or they could have gone on the boat. 00:05:03 Speaker 3: They could have gone on the boat. 00:05:05 Speaker 2: So do we say it serves them right, I don't know. 00:05:07 Speaker 3: I think so. Yeah. I think if you choose to stay in the closet, you should should die round on the Titanic with the captain or whatever. 00:05:17 Speaker 2: Closeted people should be at the bottom of the ocean. 00:05:19 Speaker 3: I agree. I agree. You heard it here first. 00:05:24 Speaker 2: Now this cruise ship. What I'm talking about is it was like in twenty twelve, and it was in Italy, and I guess there were some people on an island that an employee on the ship knew or his family was there, and so he asked the captain, could we get a little a little closer to the eye. No, the whole ship sank. 00:05:45 Speaker 3: Well, but they weren't close enough to the island. They didn't. They shouldn't have split the difference. I don't think anything. They should have chosen me go all the way, go all the way or far. 00:05:56 Speaker 2: If you can't see the family members waving, you aren't close enough. 00:05:59 Speaker 3: I guess that's oh, that's so sad. 00:06:03 Speaker 2: Yeah, And the documentary did not. They should have interviewed the people that they were trying to get close to and see what they thought about the whole situation. 00:06:10 Speaker 3: They shouldn't have told the family. I think I don't know, they should have just been like, oh, I don't know, the ship's still out there, something like that. If you don't see people go down in a boat, you know, I like to think that they're still out there kind of triangling it somewhere. 00:06:30 Speaker 2: No, it's it seemed genuinely terrifying. I mean, the ship has just flipped over and you're kind of falling off the ship and the captain saying, we're not going down. 00:06:41 Speaker 3: Do you feel like you could survive in a situation like that? 00:06:43 Speaker 2: No, Okay, No, I think I would be out pretty quickly. 00:06:47 Speaker 3: Do you ever see one of the like that video of like it's like the cook and the cook survived because there was like the pocket of air and the ship that sunk. No, and like divers found the cook. I think he was a cook. I'm not sure he was in the kitchen, but like he's just like in a pocket of air and he'd like survive for days down there. 00:07:03 Speaker 2: Wait, I think this guy might be on the cruise ship I'm talking about. 00:07:06 Speaker 3: It might be the case. All I know is that I really strongly believe I would be like that person like that, I could be in a situation where everyone else dies, but something really lucky will happen to me. 00:07:18 Speaker 2: There's something very special about it. 00:07:19 Speaker 3: There's something special about me. But God wouldn't let me die. 00:07:22 Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like I eventually it would just feel so painful, you know, Like, I'm just like, if I get uncomfortable in any situation, I'm just like, whatever ends this as quickly as possible. 00:07:31 Speaker 3: Oh that's such a good point. I forgot about how lazy. 00:07:36 Speaker 2: Oh no, and you start to think about, oh, I'm getting hungry, and I'm like, for what. 00:07:41 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I want to take a nap. I don't want to be swimming anymore. Those they are all really good points. 00:07:47 Speaker 2: The only thing that would keep me alive is like the idea that I'd be able to get a book published. 00:07:52 Speaker 1: Wow. 00:07:53 Speaker 3: Deal, Yeah people are doing that, and you could be called like the amount of hours that you were down there? 00:07:58 Speaker 2: Yeah exactly, probably probably forty eight hours. 00:08:02 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:08:02 Speaker 2: Well wait, now I got a news magazine show that you're running. 00:08:07 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, and then you get like a TV series and it's like but it's just one person. Yeah that's good movie. 00:08:16 Speaker 2: Have you been on a cruise? 00:08:17 Speaker 3: I have not. I really want to you do well, I want to do one of those one of those gay cruises whatever. 00:08:24 Speaker 2: Oh right, that you would actually perform on. 00:08:27 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think that's like the only way that I like being invited to something where it's like I get to kind of prove that I deserve to be there and then or like a gay guy party, at least like a gay guy boat. I get to be like, hey, guys, I'm fun, like, yeah, we like me, and then right we go to the islands. 00:08:48 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I wonder if I would even enjoy it on that level. 00:08:51 Speaker 3: You've never done a cruise, I'm like. 00:08:52 Speaker 2: In high school, my family went on one. Okay, it's just not for. 00:08:56 Speaker 3: Me high school. Did you have like a like a love affair with anybody? 00:09:00 Speaker 2: No, I didn't have a love affair until I was thirty. 00:09:04 Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for asking that. It feels like kind of a hot sexy place is on a ship. 00:09:12 Speaker 2: Well, until you've been on one, okay, Yeah, then you know it's like a Walmart. 00:09:17 Speaker 3: Okay, and I do see that that's a hot sexy place. Well, anything can be a hot sexy place. Yeah. I think it's like summer camp in the sense that you're like all kind of locked away, right and at which means there are no rules, there are no laws, no laws consenter otherwise. I'm sorry. I really started to pull myself back from saying that, but I guess, I guess, yeah. I can't believe you didn't get molested on a christ ship. Get that. I don't know. I'm gonna no, no, no, I can actually keep it in and keep it in. I'll double down. 00:10:02 Speaker 2: Neither of us should ever go on a cruise. 00:10:03 Speaker 3: I don't think so. I think I should be banned. 00:10:06 Speaker 2: From all of them. You have immediately been blackless to every cruise. 00:10:09 Speaker 3: If you search crews under in my name, it's gonna be this conversation. Do not allow a board? 00:10:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, what's been going on with you? 00:10:18 Speaker 3: You know tomorrow I'm going on tour. So I've been packing. 00:10:24 Speaker 2: What sort of packer? Are you? Like? An overnight thing? 00:10:29 Speaker 3: Or I try to take a small amount of things because I really like being like mobile, Yes, but I also want to take a lot. So I'm trying to be really organized this time because it's like two weeks. But I am having trouble because of course I want to bring like twelve dresses, of course, but that's that's a lot of clothes, a lot of clothing. 00:10:50 Speaker 2: Are you flying or driving? 00:10:51 Speaker 3: I'm kind of doing both, Like I'm flying and then I'm bussing and then I'm flying. 00:10:56 Speaker 2: You need to keep it small, yess. 00:10:59 Speaker 3: Yeah, I got to move around a lot, and I like, you know something, I'm going to be like in cafes and stuff with my luggage, I'm sure. So I got to be able to like move it and move it around. 00:11:09 Speaker 2: So it's probably required a decent amount of planning. 00:11:11 Speaker 3: It has, you would think. I mean, I don't know. I went out and I bought little again the little bottles. Oh sure, soap soaps and stuff. So that's like that's planning. It's like responsible, right, Yeah. 00:11:27 Speaker 2: I think so that's I never buy those of them. I'm just like digging through the cover beneath my sink the night before, just looking for half used things. 00:11:35 Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's what I've done in the past, and I kind of wanted it to be like pretty this time. 00:11:40 Speaker 2: Yeah, make it a nice little thing. 00:11:41 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:11:42 Speaker 2: How do you pack as last minute as possible? Okay, and I as small as possible because I will avoid a baggage carousel at all costs. 00:11:51 Speaker 3: Yeah, those are and they're like they're whipping that shit around. Have you ever watched them put this stuff on the plane. 00:11:57 Speaker 2: It's crazy. 00:11:59 Speaker 3: They're throwing it harder than it has Like I get it, Like I wouldn't want to be doing that that either, but it is wild. 00:12:06 Speaker 2: It looks like they want to break. 00:12:08 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they're trying to, which is like, you know, power to the people, like I love I love the workers and stuff. They should be allowed to do that, but I don't know, pay them better and maybe they right. 00:12:22 Speaker 2: We'll give them some tools to get it in there. 00:12:24 Speaker 3: Yeah. You ever see one of those like movie thing they like move the thing little? 00:12:29 Speaker 2: Oh it's like a conveyor belt. Yeah, yeah, something like that. 00:12:32 Speaker 3: I think that's cool. Engineers are really awesome. 00:12:35 Speaker 2: Yeah, engineers are making things easier. 00:12:37 Speaker 3: I really like that sat out engineers for re all. 00:12:41 Speaker 2: I appreciate engineers because I'm not capable of building anything on my own like that or like the idea of creating a machine is so foreign. 00:12:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, you ever like build something for like your space, Like you haven't. 00:12:54 Speaker 2: I mean Ikia stuff and even that's like a massive struggle for you. 00:12:58 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you've never like and like what if we put up a banister. 00:13:02 Speaker 2: Oh my god, it would be a disaster. 00:13:04 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:13:04 Speaker 2: I'm the third son in my family, and my dad after I think after the first two sons, was like, I'm not teaching anybody anything else. Yeah, and so I was just the person who would just have to run and get tools while they build things. Are your brothers gonna yes, well one of them is, I think, yeah, yeah, are you going to go at building things? 00:13:24 Speaker 3: I kind of, I mean no, but my ego is like, yeah, I was an eagle scout, so I too. Okay, night, Yeah, wait, wait what did you do for your ecle product, because this is famously one of the things that you kind of they're like build, They're like build a fay. 00:13:42 Speaker 2: I didn't build anything. I collected clothes for a hospital, Like after you. Some people are done at the hospital don't have clothes to where so they would go and get new clothes or whatever. 00:13:53 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:13:54 Speaker 2: That felt like something I was capable of doing. 00:13:56 Speaker 3: They and I'm I'm so sorry if this is offensive. They don't have new clothes to wear because they got implants and now all their shirts don't fit no more. 00:14:04 Speaker 2: That's exactly I was finding sexy new outfits for people's hot new bodies. 00:14:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, hell yeah, I love that. That's a great ego project. 00:14:15 Speaker 2: I would love to pitch that to the scaptical. 00:14:18 Speaker 3: So you know when girls kind of go and boys, you boys kidding out BBL or whatever, they go in and they get a hot, sexy new bad and non binary people, non binary people can get a BBL or whatever. But you know, we get them like jumpsuits. 00:14:33 Speaker 2: We don't want them to look dumpy. Yeah, they paid all this money, they. 00:14:37 Speaker 3: Made all this money, you want them to walk out of the hospital looking dumpy. I did I think an even gayer what I organized my high school theater's prop department. 00:14:47 Speaker 2: Oh that's really sweet. That seems like a horrible project. 00:14:51 Speaker 3: It kind of was, and I like developed like a really strict organizational system, and then I was supposed to like give it to my high school theater teacher, but I just I got the I got the approval and everything, and then I was like, ah, I was like abandoned that. So I think they're all marked still in my high school theater. But I just like I never they have like act six and I just never gave anyone the labeling. You didn't have the job, or it I did half the job, so that's I moved all the stuff around and moved the trees with the trees and the little swords with the swords. 00:15:26 Speaker 2: And now some other are their scouts anymore? 00:15:29 Speaker 3: I think so. I mean, I who knows. They started in my when I got interviewed. They one of the questions for me was like, do I think that women should be allowed into the Scouts? 00:15:39 Speaker 2: Oh my god, what a crazy question? 00:15:41 Speaker 3: And that was like to evaluate me, and I was like yes, and then they like pushed back on it. I was like, well, I don't know whatever. They were crazy. Scouts are crazy. 00:15:54 Speaker 2: It feels like a trick question where the answer should be yes they should be, even if it's called the boy Scouts, but fact that it's just like, oh, you're right, they shouldn't. That's so crazy. 00:16:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's It was wild. I don't know, asking a child like yeah, asking like a teen boy. I mean I was already gay, so I was like, yeah, I would love I would love to get some girls in here. I imagine I'm already gay, and I'm like no, no, girls, no girls. 00:16:23 Speaker 2: No. It was a kind of a nasty organization. 00:16:26 Speaker 3: It was they're kind of just prepping kids to like be like highway patrol or military. 00:16:31 Speaker 2: Totally, totally I think towards it, because I don't I think it may have fallen apart. But it started to fall apart because they started to be kind of inclusive and they had kind of created their own monster that was like, no, you can't we that's not our Scouts. 00:16:44 Speaker 3: Didn't like pete hegseth or something be like oh, we're gonna stop making the Scouts gay or like that was sure they like, oh, because they like have like pronouns and stuff. They were doing pronouns. 00:16:58 Speaker 2: Such a waste of time. 00:17:00 Speaker 3: Sorry. I was trying to make a non binary version of the eagle, but I couldn't excel excel Scout. 00:17:07 Speaker 2: Eglis. 00:17:10 Speaker 3: It was queer. I don't know about you, but like we were playing magical gathering and kind of having. 00:17:15 Speaker 2: Your Scout troop. 00:17:16 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, we sensed delightful. We were really. I mean, I think we were all kind of just like indoor kids that our parents couldn't put us in sports. 00:17:23 Speaker 2: Wow, but no. Growing up in Utah, it was like it was very tied in with Mormonism. So I think that the Mormon Church was like probably one of their biggest damn contributors or something. So every boy did it, and so then it was just kind of Scouts wow. And so it was the things you think about and the things that I hated doing most of all. Yeah, and so I kind of just cheated my way through. Someone watching me try to tie a knot is one of the saddest things you can imagine. Yeah, I cannot. I can barely tie my shoes. So the idea of like me tying real knots. 00:17:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, horrifying. Yeah. I was never good at that. 00:17:59 Speaker 2: I was there anything you were good at within scouting? 00:18:01 Speaker 3: Not really. I mean I have I have one really iconic memory where like the scout master was like interviewing me to get my next rank, and part of the interview he was like, you should never like allow yourself to be alone in a room with like an adult Scout leader by yourself, because of course they're having a real problem with huge If we get to the end of the interview and he's like, Okay, now do you want to follow me back into the end of this room, and I was like yeah, sure. So I did kind of fail. I remember failing the molestation test it's a molestation. H Yeah, I know. I trusted him. I thought he was trying to stop me from getting molested, and I brought molestation back into the conversation. I'm so sorry, but yeah, I wasn't. I couldn't swim. That was a hard agle. I couldn't swim. 00:18:54 Speaker 2: I couldn't swim. That's the one thing I kind of liked. When they made us swim in all of our clothing. I felt so dramatic. 00:19:01 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was crazy. I couldn't. I couldn't do it. 00:19:04 Speaker 2: It's hard, hard, it drags you down. 00:19:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I remember like eleven year olds like passing me while I was like fifteen, and it was embarrassing. If I liked camp, camp was fun. 00:19:15 Speaker 2: Parts of it were fun for me and other parts were bagony. 00:19:18 Speaker 3: Yeah, we could do skits around the fire. That's what that's like. 00:19:24 Speaker 2: You're dream ofing on a gay cruise, Yeah, exactly, exactly. There's a reason I'm here. 00:19:29 Speaker 3: I see those things just almost the same, being a boyscout camp, being on the gay Chris, Well. 00:19:37 Speaker 2: I think there is something else we should talk about. I've been trying to avoid the subject, but there's nothing I can do. I was excited to have your here today, Hayden. But you know the podcast is called I said no gifts. Yes, so I was alarmed when you kind of trotted into the studio holding a gift. 00:19:55 Speaker 3: Listen, I am just that kind of friend. When I hang out with somebody one on one for the first time, I refuse to show up without a presence. 00:20:08 Speaker 2: Can you imagine no one ever wants to hang out with me a second time? 00:20:13 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I show up with a big gift box. 00:20:17 Speaker 2: Well, should we open this here on the podcast? 00:20:19 Speaker 3: I think I think we might as well. 00:20:21 Speaker 2: All right, let's see here, what's in this gorgeous little white bag with God knows where it came from? 00:20:30 Speaker 3: I got well again, I don't want to I don't want to sponsor any any particular brand. 00:20:36 Speaker 2: Now, let's see is this tissue? 00:20:39 Speaker 3: And I started, Yeah, that tissue And a lot of people would say that it looks a lot like a straighter Joe's bag that I rapped. 00:20:45 Speaker 2: I like, I like a sustainable tissue. 00:20:48 Speaker 3: Yeah, wrapping paper is fucked up. I think I think we should look into that. I think there's something bad about that. 00:20:55 Speaker 2: Someone's going to get to the way. 00:20:57 Speaker 3: We got a lot of other stuff going on right now. But when we get kind of like, I don't know, sort of a better government going on, we should we should look in a wrapping, move to the. 00:21:05 Speaker 2: Top of the link, okay, pulling in it. 00:21:10 Speaker 3: Oh, here you go, here you go. 00:21:13 Speaker 2: Okay. It's a book called Warriors into the Wild. 00:21:16 Speaker 3: Yes, that's right, Aaron Aaron Hunter. 00:21:20 Speaker 2: And it's got kind of a common house cat. 00:21:23 Speaker 3: Yes, now, here's This is a book that I a book series that I was deeply obsessed with all throughout my child So I have many copies of this book. And this book is about cats that live in the woods and work together, run clans together. And a lot of people would say it's kind of for you know, young adults and like mentally ill people. I'm gonna say transgender people. But I back pulled it back of anyone. I feel anyone can sort of get into it. 00:21:58 Speaker 2: Looks like there are six books in the series. 00:22:01 Speaker 3: There were six at the I think the time that this book came out. I would say that now there are probably upwards of fifty. 00:22:07 Speaker 2: Now that's the sign of a quality book. 00:22:10 Speaker 3: You know, when people want to keep getting it deeper into the lore, when it can sustain itself that long. 00:22:15 Speaker 2: So book has forty nine sequels, you know, if they had the right idea. 00:22:19 Speaker 3: Yes, And here's the thing about Aaron Hunter is Aaron Hunter is actually like I think, like twelve women or something. Oh, I like this, which is a team, very fun. Yeah, and that kind of prevents a situation like a JK. Rowling. 00:22:32 Speaker 2: You know, you can kind of kick one out. 00:22:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, you can kick one out if they start getting too crazy. You can kind of democratically decide who's worth keeping in the warrior. 00:22:41 Speaker 2: Kind of a great idea. 00:22:42 Speaker 3: I think. So. I think that's how everyone should write books with eleven other women. 00:22:48 Speaker 2: Then no one gets too much power. Yeah, exactly. I mean JK. Rowling would be in a gutter somewhere. 00:22:54 Speaker 3: I think so. I think they would have kicked her to the curb, see you later, and we could still enjoy Harry Potter. 00:23:01 Speaker 2: Could have kept the integrity a little bit more. People would have been like, well, there was that one lady that was involved, but that was years. 00:23:06 Speaker 3: Ago, exactly. Yeah, I wanted to find a Harry Potter thing. I had just been sent like a bunch of Harry Potter memorabilia but I had growing up. But I think I dumped it right before I got asked to be here, and I could have given you just a box. Harry Potter hought you with that, Like you keep all these gifts, right, you wear all these up in the studio, right, what. 00:23:35 Speaker 2: Sort of stuff was in the box? 00:23:37 Speaker 3: I was like Voldemort Swan and like I had like the DVD's and I was a very Harry Potter. These were my two obsessions, and Harry pot. 00:23:46 Speaker 2: And Warriors kind of came out on top. 00:23:48 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean in a big way, because Cat's sort of unproblematic. 00:23:53 Speaker 2: Like they famously kind of a creature that can't really do too much harm. 00:23:57 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they decided that Harry Potter be easier to make movies out of than Warrior Cats. 00:24:04 Speaker 2: I feel like Warrior Cats. Is this feels like a show. 00:24:07 Speaker 3: That's and that's kind of what I'm using your podcast A long. Yeah, I'm saying, hey, people have been trying to get this show made for since I was maybe nine years old. 00:24:19 Speaker 2: Is that? I guess that probably is true? People the books. 00:24:22 Speaker 3: Yes, people loved this. It's sort of like Magic Treehouse esqueere. I think it had like a big following or like box Car Children or whatever. Right, But this is I think nicher and cooler. 00:24:35 Speaker 2: And kind of more for the general. Everyone can get on board with this idea. Everyone everyone loves cats, right, It's kind of. 00:24:41 Speaker 3: Feels like Lord of the Rings with cats, you know, like it's got such a lord, it's got such a world. And so I think it could be an incredible HBO series. If we're gonna do the Harry Potter one, we should do the Warriors one. 00:24:55 Speaker 2: Well, you should option the book, get it going, I think so. 00:24:58 Speaker 3: I don't. Well, I know you're a big Hollywood person. They haven't really quite let me in yet. So I'm hoping that maybe you can bridge. You're huge. I mean, I know you to be a big Hollywood I'm a mover in Shakoa. Yeah. Well you kind of came into the office today. You were in a big shuit. You said, I just came here from. 00:25:20 Speaker 2: I just got offset. 00:25:22 Speaker 3: I just got Yeah, I just got offset. I'm here from CBS Spot. No, I don't know where do Hollywood people go. What's that club that they all go to, Club Hollywood. You just came from Club Hollywood the Chateau Mama. 00:25:42 Speaker 2: Have you been there? 00:25:43 Speaker 1: No? 00:25:43 Speaker 3: I haven't, So I haven't been let in yet. 00:25:46 Speaker 2: Anyone can go there. I didn't want to go. A friend but was having like a kind of an ironic birthday brunch and I dragged my feet all the way. Wow, I didn't even order food. I was so annoyed. 00:25:55 Speaker 3: And that friend did, Jennifer Lopez, Sorry I did. I was like, who's the most famous Hollywood person I could think of? 00:26:02 Speaker 2: It's an ironic shadow. 00:26:07 Speaker 3: You're a big Hollywood person. I know this, I know this. 00:26:10 Speaker 2: Okay, so this is a I'm actually curious. I feel like I can get sucked into kids books like this. 00:26:15 Speaker 3: Still they're really fine. I like, I reread it and it is like fun and it's easy to read. 00:26:21 Speaker 2: Right, that's a nice feeling. 00:26:22 Speaker 3: All the books they make for adults are so hard to read. 00:26:26 Speaker 2: They require critical thinking, yes, concentration. 00:26:29 Speaker 3: Like we layered in every like it's not just kind of simple metaphor. It's like so many different layers. But there are beautiful things in Warris. Like what so they have four clans? Right, they have Thunder Clan, River Clan, Wind Clan, and Shadow Clan. Now guess which one's the bad one? Certainly not Shadow, It couldn't be Shadow, But like that see that's easy to understand. 00:26:56 Speaker 2: I go, okay. 00:27:00 Speaker 3: And then they have star Plan, which is where all the ancestors go. Oh, I like that, and it's beautiful because the ancestors have no effect over like the world, but they kind of influence it with their It's a very ancestor theology in the way like they did good things or bad things in life, and they continue to influence other cats. 00:27:21 Speaker 2: Just radiate the vibe at them. 00:27:23 Speaker 3: Yeah, there are a lot of good video essays about this, and I'm doing a poor job at describing it. About warriors, yes, oh wow, people really like these. 00:27:32 Speaker 2: I cannot believe. I've never I mean, they could have found a slightly more interesting name for the series. 00:27:37 Speaker 3: Cats in the Woods cat Warriors, cat Warrior. I mean, yeah, well people say warrior cats because I think warriors just it evokes a different image, right, not of a housecat that goes into the wilderness and finds a tribe of a cast. 00:27:52 Speaker 2: So are there human beings in this book? Not? 00:27:55 Speaker 3: Well, okay, there are, but they are like sort of just really only exist in the context of like they own house cats, which they call kittie pets book, and they call the humans two legs again easy stuff to understand. It's awesome. But sometimes the cat the people will like be in a bulldozer and try to like tear down the woods. Oh, then they like ring into play, but like usually they keep them at a distance. It's mostly cats stuff. 00:28:24 Speaker 2: Okay, and fifty books and. 00:28:26 Speaker 3: Fifty books of cat stuff. 00:28:28 Speaker 2: Have you read every one of them? No? 00:28:29 Speaker 3: I mean I think I like, I should, I should get back into it. But there are so many and they have like affairs, they are like, oh, they're like pregnancies and that's and affairs. And wow, it's really beautiful. It's really good. 00:28:43 Speaker 2: And cats have quite a few kittens. That's a lot of new characters introduced. 00:28:47 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I mean it kind of keeps going. I mean I think now all the characters from the original book are like dead. 00:28:54 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean I hope so at this point. 00:28:57 Speaker 3: Yeah, but so they just keep building. 00:28:59 Speaker 2: The right the law. Do you have a cat? 00:29:02 Speaker 3: I don't. Well, I grew up with fifteen fifteen. Yeah, tell me about that. My dad had a bunch of cats. Oh did you like them? You know at the first three? 00:29:15 Speaker 2: Surely, I think that's probably the typical story for most of them. 00:29:18 Speaker 3: We have three. I really liked it, and then we got three more and I was like, Okay, that's a lot of cats. Oh right, and then I kind of got out of control. Yeah, that's a lot of cats. But there was one the first cat that we had. Her name was Aspen, and I loved ask. 00:29:31 Speaker 2: Oh very cat. So you were still on board with cats. 00:29:35 Speaker 3: Big time on board with cat right, I think I just yeah, I've had so many and I like cat sitting. Cats sitting screed. 00:29:42 Speaker 2: I mean, any sort of sitting is kind of the ideal version of anything because it's not really your responsibility in the end. You're just gonna have a nice time with the pet. Yeah, and if it destroys something, it's kind of not your fault. 00:29:55 Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, cats, I'm also like so anxious. I think cats would be hard to like hang out, oh wow, because they're like always running around and getting out. I don't know when I cat said, I am constantly looking around, like looking under stuff, being like the cat's still here. 00:30:11 Speaker 1: Oh. 00:30:12 Speaker 2: Not being able to find a cat is the worst fore you. 00:30:15 Speaker 3: It's so scary because you know that they can get far away. 00:30:18 Speaker 2: Yes, and it happens like I cat sit for a friend and at least once a time that I'm cat sitting for her, I'm like, he got out because they're so good at hiding. 00:30:28 Speaker 3: They're really good at hiding. They get in all the little stuff. Yeah, Now imagine they go to war. Combine these things, combine the combine what you know about cats, and combine war, and that's a killer book. That's a good idea, that's a Yeah. 00:30:45 Speaker 2: I wonder how, like does the publisher gather these twelve people or you said just twelve women. 00:30:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm probably exaggerating now, but it's like sex can I doubled it, but like, yeah, I don't know how that comes about. 00:30:57 Speaker 2: Right. It's like, we have an idea cats, you know, book, let's hire some people. 00:31:02 Speaker 3: Imagine you're out at a bar with your friends and you're like, yo, we should write a book together. We should write a kid's book together. 00:31:08 Speaker 2: Yeah. Anytime I see a book and it has two authors on it, I'm immediately like something. 00:31:13 Speaker 3: One one person wrote this, the other person is addicted to cigarettes or something. You know, it's like they have something going on and so they were going to write it and then they're like, let me bring in someone. 00:31:25 Speaker 2: Yeah, well I'm excited to let me read this back cover. Fire alone can save our clan, honey. Okay, For generations, four clans of cats have shared the forest, but Thunder Clan is in grave danger. Shadow Clan grows stronger every day. Jesus I know. In the midst of this turmoil appears a house cat named Rusty. Sounds like a normal guy who may turn out to be the bravest warrior of them all. So he was leading a life that he didn't realize was about to become something much bigger. 00:31:58 Speaker 3: Yes, it's a good story. It's good. 00:32:00 Speaker 2: That's something to everyone should remember. 00:32:02 Speaker 3: It's a lot of kids' stories. Yeah. 00:32:04 Speaker 2: Yes, it's like, oh, I have a terrible home life. Yeah, magic world. 00:32:08 Speaker 3: Magic world. It's a good formulae, I. 00:32:11 Speaker 2: Mean for every kid, because essentially every child, even if they don't have the worst home life, just doesn't like their parents. 00:32:17 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, all kids can get in. They're really catching it on people not liking their parents and wanting to be in a world of magic and. 00:32:25 Speaker 2: Literally anywhere else in their life in danger. 00:32:29 Speaker 3: Do you think that's like unique to the Western world, that we have a lot of stories. 00:32:33 Speaker 2: Like that right where, like maybe in other countries where maybe family just dynamics are different. Yeah, that's a good question. 00:32:40 Speaker 3: Actually, Like we're so obsessed with being like, aren't you a lonely loser kid that everyone hates? Don't you wish you could get out? And then they kind of catch cash in on that. 00:32:50 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder, especially within the United States of the also like you're really special. Yes, well that's more special than everyone else. 00:32:58 Speaker 3: This is something I just been thinking about because I've been watching more like Eastern films recently and like also like anime and the way that they kind of handle like a kid's story is like the power of friendship will like get us through, And I feel like a lot of our stories are like I alone, you don't have the power, and I alone will survive. And I feel like maybe that's bad. 00:33:27 Speaker 2: I think that maybe a bad mindset to have to be the chosen one. 00:33:30 Speaker 3: I think. So, I'm sure someone's written like a thesis. I'm sure, but interesting. 00:33:35 Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe the children's publishing world should think about that. 00:33:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean they're all friends in the Yeah, this is an army of cats. This is an army. 00:33:45 Speaker 2: It's pro military. 00:33:47 Speaker 3: Yeah, and while in some ways, yeah, it's pro warrior. Certainly I give you this and like a Navy seal book. 00:33:55 Speaker 2: Or whatever, you try to recruit me. 00:33:57 Speaker 3: Yeah, I give you fucking unbroke. I can't remember remember when any of those are calling. 00:34:01 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm not the person to ask. Yeah, well, I'm very excited to have this. I might truly give it a shot. I read do you know Jamie loftis? Yes, she recommended Charlotte's Web a few years ago and I reread it. Unbelievable book. I had such a good time reading it. It was so heartbreaking and it's for kids, so it's also you just blow through it. 00:34:23 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:34:24 Speaker 2: I can't recommend it enough. 00:34:25 Speaker 3: That's so interesting. Is it similar to the story that I know? Because I don't think I ever read it. 00:34:30 Speaker 2: I think, which version? Do you know? Because there have been several movies at this point, right, I know, I'm trying to there's like the original, old, old animated movie. 00:34:40 Speaker 3: I think that must be it. I mean, I keep getting Charlotte's Web in Babe confused. Oh sure, Charlotte's Web. 00:34:47 Speaker 2: Charlotte's Web is more about the well, it's about the spider saving the pig. 00:34:52 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I think it is live action, the one that I remember. 00:34:55 Speaker 2: Watching and I think Julia Roberts may voice the spider. She's a classics. 00:35:00 Speaker 3: Spider, she's a good spider. 00:35:02 Speaker 2: But I look at her, I think there's a spider. 00:35:04 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're in the Hollywood offices when they lay out a pile of images of women, and you go that one, that one's the spider. I knew your Hollywood. I knew you were Hollywood. 00:35:21 Speaker 2: I don't even know what we're talking about. Charlotte. Charlotte's Wonderful book, but it's probably similar enough to the movie but way better. 00:35:29 Speaker 3: Yeah, I might get into it. 00:35:31 Speaker 2: I love I can reading like a few hours. 00:35:34 Speaker 3: I love a great story, you know. 00:35:36 Speaker 2: Sure. 00:35:37 Speaker 3: I listened to like podcasts like Myths to Go to Sleep too. Yeah, any of these like myths. 00:35:43 Speaker 2: And Legends, No, I'm not familiar. 00:35:45 Speaker 3: I really like these. That podcast is great. And the guy just like reads like a story but in its like actual context, like not in whatever disnified. 00:35:55 Speaker 2: Oh sure, right right. 00:35:57 Speaker 3: I just listened to Robin Hood. 00:35:59 Speaker 2: Oh, good story, cool story. So he's just kind of reading the original as close to the original version as he can find. 00:36:05 Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of. And they're like more fucked up and weird, right, which I think. 00:36:09 Speaker 2: Is interesting much more interesting. 00:36:12 Speaker 3: You know, it's not like a fox, right. I mean, Robinhood was a guy. 00:36:16 Speaker 2: He wasn't a fox. 00:36:17 Speaker 3: He was not a fox. 00:36:22 Speaker 2: Okay, well I think we should play a game. Okay, we might play two games here. We're gonna first play a game called invite list and God, the order of operations on this podcast is totally falling apart. Elis. First of all, I just do you have anything to recommend or promote? 00:36:38 Speaker 3: They got shows probably around when this comes out in Austin and Dallas. So and then I'm I'm doing a show in Partland that's like raising money to like get trans people to like say for states. Fantastic and so you know, check that out. That'll be on my on my Instagram as well. 00:36:58 Speaker 2: Listener, go find hate and wherever she is, Yeah, find me find her on Instagram and then go from there. Yeah, honey, And people need to go see live comedy people do. 00:37:08 Speaker 3: I'm trying to kick up a monthly show right now. I think that would be really fun. 00:37:12 Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be fun. 00:37:13 Speaker 3: People aren't doing those right now. 00:37:15 Speaker 2: It's a tough time for live entertainment. 00:37:18 Speaker 3: It is. I wonder if that has anything to do with the five of the world everything else. I think it is fine. 00:37:25 Speaker 2: So I don't know why people aren't doing these fun things. 00:37:27 Speaker 3: I think we're specifically getting your hit quite right. 00:37:31 Speaker 2: But yes, what's your Instagram handle? 00:37:34 Speaker 3: Underscore Hayden, Underscore Johnson. 00:37:37 Speaker 2: H A Y d N. 00:37:38 Speaker 3: That's right, very good. 00:37:40 Speaker 2: I'm looking out for you and the listener here. Ok I'm very generous. Okay, We're going to play a game called Invite List. I'm going to start naming a list of celebrities. You get to decide who's invited and who's not invited. Okay, when you get to ten, that's the party. Okay, does that make perfect sense? 00:37:57 Speaker 3: Yeah? And I'm going to reveal before we get started that I'm bad at selet pretty, so. 00:38:02 Speaker 2: Don't make it even more fun. 00:38:03 Speaker 3: Okay, great, great, great? 00:38:05 Speaker 2: Okay, So just say invited or not invited? Okay, and you can say why if you want to. 00:38:09 Speaker 3: Yeah. Bruno Mars, Oh damn, isn't he Is he like in trouble? Is he like in trouble for being like too rich? Did he like become a billionaire or something? 00:38:21 Speaker 2: Bruno Mars. I don't think so. 00:38:22 Speaker 3: I feel like he did something bad, but I can't remember what it is. So he's going to be invited. I love the songs. That's getting fun. Okay, Kelly Ripper, No, because again I'm not that's familiar. I can't quite place Skelly Ripper. 00:38:37 Speaker 2: You won't have much to talk about. Then, great, Cindy Laupper. 00:38:41 Speaker 3: Cindy Lapper can come, that'd be great. 00:38:43 Speaker 2: Tyra Banks. 00:38:47 Speaker 3: Fuck, so I want it to be the last party I ever have. Yeah, but yeah, gets yeah, I get Tiger in there. I have to bring the hot ice cream. I love it. 00:39:00 Speaker 2: Lisa vander Pump oh fuck, oh yeah. 00:39:04 Speaker 3: You know what I'm bringing Tyler and Tyrone and go on. Let's yeah, it's gonna be I'm a bad party. 00:39:10 Speaker 2: The location is in Hell. 00:39:12 Speaker 3: Yeah, so I've created a nightmare plan rotation. 00:39:16 Speaker 2: Okay, Lance Bass, Yeah yeah, Lynce pass Is he's the gay one. Yes, he's the gay one. And just letting you know that's five wow? 00:39:24 Speaker 3: Five wow? Am I am I too agreeable? No? 00:39:28 Speaker 2: I think you're I think you're creating a real uh and energy for a particular type of party. 00:39:33 Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't think that I'm gonna get along great with anyone. I felt the most confident about Brno Mars so fIF you can believe it. But again, I feel like he did something and I can't remember one of those. Okay. 00:39:48 Speaker 2: So Lance bass Is, yes, Lance pass Is, yeah, okay, Michael B. Jordan, oh hell yeah? 00:39:54 Speaker 3: So okay, great, So everyone, So my house will be destroyed, but I will be doing something in in my own personal room. Yeah. 00:40:04 Speaker 2: The chaos will take care of itself. Yeah yeah, yeah, Well then you can take care of yourself. 00:40:08 Speaker 3: I've engineered such a chaotic party that Michael B. Jordan will turn to me and go, wow, you're so normal and relatable. I wonder if baby which kids? 00:40:20 Speaker 2: Okay, Ryan Murphy. 00:40:26 Speaker 3: No, No, I don't. I can't. 00:40:29 Speaker 4: I don't want my party to become a horrible little show, okay, George Clooney. 00:40:42 Speaker 3: God, I no. I just don't think that anybody's going to be able to entertain. I don't think that I think he's going to feel it's going to feel awkward to have him there. Right. 00:40:52 Speaker 2: You can feel him wanting to leave. 00:40:54 Speaker 3: I can feel him wanting to leave. Terrible need this party to go until. 00:40:59 Speaker 2: Mark Kamaron. 00:41:03 Speaker 3: No A. 00:41:06 Speaker 2: Lissa Lou Yeah, yeah, she's I mean, she would be kind of the hot name of the party. 00:41:12 Speaker 3: I think so. 00:41:13 Speaker 2: Yeah, Tiffany Trump, Oh my god, with her fucking golf clubs and that's the one, right, Like what you doing with golf club one? Kids like the youngest, But no, I think she's probably secretly like sixty five. I think she is the youngest. That's not the boy. 00:41:34 Speaker 3: Yeah okay, yes, yeah, no, well, no, she can come to the party. Yes, I have placed who she is. I mean she can like be outside, she could be outside. 00:41:47 Speaker 2: She can part cars, she can part cars. 00:41:49 Speaker 3: She could be my valet. 00:41:50 Speaker 2: Tiffany Trump taking people's cars around the block. Yeah, okay. Willie Nelson, Oh. 00:41:55 Speaker 3: Hell yeah, Willie Nelson can come. Well, now I'm gonna have to dream three my dream threesome with Michael B. Jordan and then Willie Nelson. I can't believe that you locked in that with me. Gail King, Yeah, Gail can come. I think Gail would like keep it toget, like if I'm off having my threesome. I think Gail can kind of keep keep it like like things aren't going to get too bad with Gail. I feel like otherwise it might get a little bit out of hand. 00:42:27 Speaker 2: I can get super messy because you'll feel it a little bit like a responsible adult. 00:42:31 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah. Everyone else is kind of maybe drama. 00:42:35 Speaker 2: But Gail is sort of like, I've been to space. 00:42:37 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been. I've been to space. And you saw It's nine just so you know, you saw when Gail was like, oh this isn't like Gail did go to space. But the whole time she was kind of like, I don't know about this. She did not want to be in space, in space, and I think that's much how she would feel about this party. 00:43:00 Speaker 2: Okay, Andrew Garfield fucking spider Man. 00:43:06 Speaker 3: Oh I don't need I don't need spider Man. There, Fiona Apple, Yeah, Apple can come and then late late at night. 00:43:14 Speaker 2: Oh that's a great she pulls up late. 00:43:16 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah yeah, and then she's, you know. 00:43:19 Speaker 2: Just brings kind of a cool energy. 00:43:21 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's getting serious and I'm cuddling up against William Michael b. 00:43:28 Speaker 2: That's a perfect list. 00:43:29 Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that's the perf. Is that the best anybody's ever done? Do you score thing? 00:43:34 Speaker 2: I think that's the best. That's an A plus. Okay, great, you really like there are really two halves to that party, which I appreciate. 00:43:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I you know, you do need to think about that. Who's going to be doing, what's going to be going where? 00:43:47 Speaker 2: You just have to have some people that are creating something for everyone to talk about. 00:43:50 Speaker 3: I agree. 00:43:51 Speaker 2: Yeah, and to kind of force Willy and Michael into your clutches. 00:43:56 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's well, that's why I need like Fiona to show up, you know, like I kind of need there to be a bit of chaos happening with Lisa and who else? Who else was I had Lyra Lisa? They're kind of fighting, and then I am like, wow, that's. 00:44:15 Speaker 2: Crazy, right I invited them? 00:44:18 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so sorry. I swear to God I didn't invite them. But do you want to go upstairs and check out my bedroom? And this scenario I imagine I have the house with it up the stairs. 00:44:28 Speaker 2: You and Michael helped Willy up the stairs, Ully. 00:44:31 Speaker 3: Up the stairs, and then Michael Fox means, well, Willy smokes a big joint. 00:44:39 Speaker 2: It's your threesoid. 00:44:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. 00:44:43 Speaker 2: I'm envisioning. Okay, we're gonna play one more game. This is called Gift to a Curse. I'm going to name three things. Okay, you'll tell me if there are a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong because there are correct answers. Great and these are all from our Patreon listeners today. This is from Christy. Gift or a curse running errands with wet hair. 00:45:04 Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna say a gift because when I do it, I do feel that I'm I look kind and like I'm kind of it's kind of like I just came out of like a set where I got rained on or whatever. You know. I think I make it look good and cheat right, correct, Okay, that's a gift. Great. 00:45:28 Speaker 2: It makes you feel busy, busy, busy. Yes, it's like you know, I'm just I'm doing it all. 00:45:33 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. Right, I just came from a rain storm and now I don't know why I'm obsessed with it not being from the shower. 00:45:42 Speaker 2: The machine was dumping water on camera's role. 00:45:45 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I was just doing a bikini shoe and at the end I had to jump into a pool. 00:45:50 Speaker 2: Did you then you had to go to the post office. 00:45:51 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was at the chat to my moan and then I had to go to the post office get your try cleaner. 00:45:57 Speaker 2: Yeah, all right. Number two this is from a listener named Zara Gift a curse. Candles that smell like tomatoes. This is from Zara They retailer is kind of written. 00:46:10 Speaker 3: Okay, candles that smell like tomatoes, I'm gonna say cursed. I don't want my house smelling like Marinera. That's my catch phrase. I don't want my house smelling like Marinera at your real housewives, I don't want my house smelling like Marinera. 00:46:29 Speaker 2: The way people would be confused. 00:46:32 Speaker 3: I think people are really confused. 00:46:34 Speaker 2: What's this lady's story? 00:46:36 Speaker 3: My couches are too white to eat a big bull of pasta? 00:46:41 Speaker 2: All right, uh curse? Yeah, I absolutely agree. I think there we know what the traditional candle scents are at this point. Yeah, why in the world would you want your house to smell like tomato and actually tomatoes like famously the thing you get skunk smell out with. 00:46:57 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, so it's kind of like opposite end. But like also it's extreme. 00:47:03 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very extreme. I think we've pushed it too far with some of these sins. That's a curse. 00:47:08 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay. 00:47:09 Speaker 2: This is from Cameron Gift a curse. People who are weirdly proud of their ability to lucid dream. 00:47:16 Speaker 3: Oh. I think that's a curse because I just don't think that you need to be doing all that, Like that's so oh even when I'm sleeping, I need to be doing stuff. Relax, turn it, turn it. Yeah, you don't need to be in charge of your dreams. That's maybe the one nice thing that you kind of have to just be like, Oh, I wonder what that means. You want to avoid yourself of any kind of deeper meaning, you know, there's nothing to talk to all fortune tell her about if you go, that's like grindset to me. 00:47:58 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just you're never away from the job. 00:48:00 Speaker 3: Yeah. I lucid dream, and then I dream that I'm at the computer and I'm crunching. 00:48:04 Speaker 2: Numbers and I'm on one of the prediction markets. 00:48:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, none of that. 00:48:10 Speaker 2: Can you lucid dream? 00:48:12 Speaker 3: No? I remember, I think I like tried to for a bit that I couldn't. I couldn't figure out how to do it. 00:48:18 Speaker 2: And likewise I didn't really have the the discipline. 00:48:22 Speaker 3: Same. Well that's the thing is it requires training. Yeah, no, thank you, I don't. Yeah, I want to I want to sleep. I need a sleep. 00:48:32 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're correct this is a curse. Yeah, partially because I am jealous of that ability to occasionally be able to fly or something seems kind of nice, right, and also just if you want to impress me do something in real life, loser, I agree, it's not impressive. It's something that you probably just stumbled into. It's not really a talent. 00:48:52 Speaker 3: Yeah. It's also, by the way, perverted. It's pervert shit. Oh what you want to be able to control your dreams? What's I can see all your friends naked? Fuck you get out of here. That's fucked up. You creep. If somebody is a lucid dreamer, they're creep. You know they've done sex stuff in there, and that's not okay. 00:49:12 Speaker 2: I think that's all they do. 00:49:14 Speaker 3: That's all they do. 00:49:15 Speaker 2: They work and do sex stuff in them. 00:49:17 Speaker 3: I'm checking the markets, I'm flying, and I'm doing sex stuff. 00:49:22 Speaker 2: With everyone I know. 00:49:23 Speaker 3: Yeah. Fuck that perverts perverts. 00:49:27 Speaker 2: Ahl right, Well you got three out of three. That's really good. Small list of people. 00:49:32 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I know I'm good at parties. I'm knowing when things are good are bad? 00:49:37 Speaker 2: All right? People are writing into I said no gifts at gmail dot com, begging for answers. Great, we hope me answer a question, of course, all right, this is I have two events coming up I need help with. First is on seven six, twenty six, so it's currently seven twenty eight twenty six, so we're right on time with the answer. 00:49:55 Speaker 3: Here. 00:49:56 Speaker 2: I will be visiting my family in France. Since my cousin's kids are now in the seven to sixteen year old range, I was wondering what are some cool American gifts they may want, especially for an eleven year old whose birthday will be happening while I'm there, and maybe some small things for the other kids. Since storage is minimal in my suitcase, I can relate to that last part at least. Well, we missed the date, so for simply we're not even going to answer the question. Okay, great, and that's the listener's fault, not mine. 00:50:26 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:50:27 Speaker 2: Now they have another event coming up in October, and it says the second half of my trip to France. This is a big brag about how long they're going to be in front. 00:50:34 Speaker 3: Oh, I'm going to be in France for mom's son. End. 00:50:37 Speaker 2: Okay, the second half of my trip to France this summer is going to be to my friend's bachelorette in can Despite only going on half of the bachelorette trip. Her bachelorette is already quite pricey. Her wedding is local to her but destination for me and on a Friday, So already, on top of the cost of the bachelorette hotel for her wedding, the PTO being used towards her and out of town trips to go wedding dress shopping, one of which I got a two hundred dollars speeding ticket. This person's breaking the law. I get wedding ticket, wedding down. 00:51:12 Speaker 3: Hey, let's separate some stuff here, because that is I don't know if you were maybe if you were acquired to speed for this, but I don't think that that's. 00:51:23 Speaker 2: Why were you going ninety miles an hour to get a wedding dress? 00:51:27 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think that you needed to do that. I think that one is squarely her fault. I'm sorry to say. 00:51:33 Speaker 2: I would like to know how fast and where they were driving, hopefully through a parking lot. Yeah, towards a David's bridle or something. So what should I get her for a wedding gift? We've been best friends since fifteen, with some ups and downs. Okay, so now also saying we have problems. So she's really throwing a lot on this. Frint, I love her dearly, but also think this marriage won't last. 00:51:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're putting this out there on a podcast. 00:51:58 Speaker 2: We also have another wedding in Asia later this year. Well, I mean, best luck to those people with this nightmare person. And it's just signed overwhelmed and stumped. I mean, this person's terrorizing friends all over the globe. 00:52:11 Speaker 3: You got to get poorer friends. Well, honestly, your fault for being friends with people who are getting married in Europe and France. Get friends who get married in a backyard with some fucking cores light. 00:52:24 Speaker 2: Get friends who email that say we got married over the weekend. 00:52:27 Speaker 3: Surprise, we're having a little so we're gonna have come by. 00:52:33 Speaker 2: The idea of going to France and to Asia for two different weddings. This person, this is almost like a talented Mister Ripley situation because it seems like she's among these rich people, but it's obviously doesn't have as much money, so she's obviously tricking them into thinking she's also a billionaire. 00:52:50 Speaker 3: Yeah. Interesting and she's. 00:52:52 Speaker 2: Breaking the law. Yeah, she's I mean, you've already broken one law, why not steal something. 00:52:57 Speaker 3: I think that's fun. I think by first thought, as you're saying ups and downs, a lot of ups and downs with this friend, I think, yo yo. And so then I go, is there like a Gucci yo yo? 00:53:08 Speaker 2: Can you get them like there's going to. 00:53:10 Speaker 3: Be yeah, to symbolize the abs and downs of your guys relationship, maybe the ups and downs of. 00:53:16 Speaker 2: Marriage in hers yeah yo yo, yes. 00:53:20 Speaker 3: Or maybe the queen's yo yo. Maybe you can break it into the the royal the royal home. Maybe you can dig up Queen Elizabeth. 00:53:29 Speaker 2: She was buried with her yo yo. 00:53:30 Speaker 3: Of course, of course was buried with her. 00:53:32 Speaker 2: Yea tightly clawing it. 00:53:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, she was kind of mid to. They arranged her fingers, so she was mid trick yocho queen yo yo queen, So maybe do that. 00:53:44 Speaker 2: I would say, it's kind of a national treasure situation. But with the Queen's yo yo. 00:53:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good movie. I would watch that movie. 00:53:53 Speaker 2: Absolutely watched that. 00:53:54 Speaker 3: Yeah. I think you know, you're already on the run from the law and so many different places. 00:53:59 Speaker 2: It seems no one knows where you live. Probably they probably don't know your real name. I mean she didn't even share it here. 00:54:06 Speaker 3: Yeah. Wait, okay, and Queen yo Yo really good for this too. You think the marriage won't last, and neither well the British monarchy. 00:54:15 Speaker 2: So you can make it kind of political, yes, and then you can say that give a kind of a dangerous political vibe. 00:54:20 Speaker 3: Yeah. And if you can't get the yo yo out of the Queen's fingers, just break him off and put him in the in the box with the yo yo take a soft yeah, cut them off, take some kitchen scissors. They're not going to be that hard to get to snip off of her rotten corps. I think that's fine. I think that's good. 00:54:41 Speaker 2: I think it's romantic. 00:54:42 Speaker 3: Yes, that's helpful. 00:54:44 Speaker 2: Are you the best friend or not? 00:54:45 Speaker 3: Yeah? I think so. I think longtime friendships deserve you know, big chest. 00:54:50 Speaker 2: Yes, and this is in the grand scheme of things, not that big of a gesh. Yeah, digging up the Queen of England. 00:54:57 Speaker 3: And yeah, taking her yo yo. Now, if you wanted to take the king slinky conversation, there's something that would be tough. I got that guarded. 00:55:07 Speaker 2: That requires an assassination. 00:55:09 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:55:10 Speaker 2: Yeah, and we can't. 00:55:12 Speaker 3: Encourage encourage that not public. 00:55:15 Speaker 2: No, well we'll answer that off. 00:55:18 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, you told me before we started the podcast, no threat, no political assassination threats on I said. 00:55:27 Speaker 2: Okay, we're both going to be banned from the UK. 00:55:29 Speaker 3: Oh no, well it's Gray over there. 00:55:32 Speaker 2: It's great. Well we answered the question perfectly. 00:55:36 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:55:38 Speaker 2: Probably saved a life, I think so. And now I've got this new book series that will never end. 00:55:43 Speaker 3: Yes, you can read this anywhere, and we. 00:55:46 Speaker 2: Option and become kind of the rulers of Hollywood. Yeah, I'm shocked this isn't a series. 00:55:52 Speaker 3: I mean, I think I'm always hearing that maybe there are whispers of it happening, but I'll believe it when I see it. And I think you do an incredible job as Rusty or one of the other cats. If we ever get this thing made and can cast it. 00:56:05 Speaker 2: Well yeah, you and I. And then if there is a spider. 00:56:08 Speaker 3: Julia Roberts and Julia Roberts will be Spider, a non named spider named Spider Parts. 00:56:17 Speaker 2: Well, I've had such a lovely time with you. Thank you for having me, Thank you for being here and listener. The podcast is over and I'm I'm going to let you go, so do do whatever you want. I care, and I really don't, so move on. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Tolliday. The theme song is by Miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram, and I said, No Gifts, that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting, And don't you want to see the gifts? 00:57:05 Speaker 1: And I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. 00:57:13 Speaker 2: When you're a. 00:57:14 Speaker 1: Guess to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, your own presences presents enough. And I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey me