WEBVTT - Happiness Lessons of The Ancients: The Anger of Achilles 0:00:15.436 --> 0:00:24.716 Pushkin, you shouldn't never do anything in front of Alive Mike, 0:00:24.756 --> 0:00:30.236 because I'm already recording. Ye wait, where you're supposed to 0:00:30.276 --> 0:00:37.076 tell me when he started reporting, I've started recording. One 0:00:37.076 --> 0:00:39.276 of the most fun things about hosting this podcast is 0:00:39.276 --> 0:00:41.316 that I get to share stuff that I absolutely love 0:00:41.356 --> 0:00:43.756 with my listeners. I of course get to tell you 0:00:43.796 --> 0:00:46.916 about all my favorite findings from psychology and cognitive science 0:00:46.996 --> 0:00:49.356 on how we can all feel happier, but I also 0:00:49.396 --> 0:00:51.556 get to tell you about other topics that I adore, 0:00:51.836 --> 0:00:54.476 academic subjects that go beyond the science of well being. 0:00:54.876 --> 0:00:57.516 Especially in this new Happiness Lessons of the Ancient series, 0:00:57.796 --> 0:01:00.356 I get to share stories about my favorite thinkers and 0:01:00.436 --> 0:01:03.196 the insights that I've learned from reading all their classic texts. 0:01:03.876 --> 0:01:06.236 But this series means that I also get to introduce 0:01:06.276 --> 0:01:08.276 you to some of the people that I love too, 0:01:09.196 --> 0:01:11.076 So we have for the podcast to say your name 0:01:11.116 --> 0:01:14.636 and your title. I am Associate Professor of Literature at 0:01:14.676 --> 0:01:20.116 A Mighty and your name is Stephanie Frampton. This is 0:01:20.156 --> 0:01:22.836 my friend, Stephanie. Stephanie and I met over a decade 0:01:22.836 --> 0:01:24.916 ago when she first started dating a friend of mine. 0:01:25.476 --> 0:01:27.636 At first, I was a little skeptical of this new 0:01:27.676 --> 0:01:31.036 girlfriend that had joined our social circle, but she quickly 0:01:31.036 --> 0:01:32.916 won me over when I learned that she served as 0:01:32.916 --> 0:01:35.716 a graduate teaching assistant for my favorite class when I 0:01:35.756 --> 0:01:39.156 was in college. It wasn't a course about happiness or 0:01:39.196 --> 0:01:42.236 anything having to do with psychology. It was literature and 0:01:42.396 --> 0:01:45.916 art c fourteen Concepts of the hero in Greek Civilization, 0:01:46.516 --> 0:01:50.076 taught by famed Harvard professor Greg nah. If you want, 0:01:50.156 --> 0:01:51.676 you can check out a version of the course for 0:01:51.716 --> 0:01:54.996 free on Harvard's at X platform. Back when I was 0:01:55.036 --> 0:01:58.916 in college, Greg Nag and his class were legendary. Every year, 0:01:59.036 --> 0:02:01.156 hundreds and hundreds of students would try to sign up 0:02:01.156 --> 0:02:04.316 for the course, which was lovingly known on campus as Heroes. 0:02:05.116 --> 0:02:07.556 Because of such high demand, Heroes had to be taught 0:02:07.556 --> 0:02:10.756 in a huge amphitheater twice a week, Naj would stand 0:02:10.836 --> 0:02:13.476 up front on a giant stage and regale his students 0:02:13.476 --> 0:02:17.796 with stories of the classic Greek heroes. In Naj explained 0:02:17.796 --> 0:02:21.156 that Greek heroes weren't like modern superheroes like Superman or 0:02:21.196 --> 0:02:25.116 Wonder Woman or Captain America, characters who generally do morally 0:02:25.116 --> 0:02:28.356 good things that lead to a happy life. Greek heroes 0:02:28.396 --> 0:02:30.996 were more like cautionary tales. They got a lot of 0:02:30.996 --> 0:02:33.836 stuff wrong, but in doing so gave us some important 0:02:33.876 --> 0:02:35.916 hints about the kinds of things we should be going 0:02:35.956 --> 0:02:38.436 for in our own lives to be happier, better people. 0:02:39.076 --> 0:02:41.516 I loved hearing about all of Naj's tales of heroes, 0:02:41.836 --> 0:02:43.676 but my favorite part of the class was when he 0:02:43.676 --> 0:02:46.876 covered the Greek poet Homer and his masterful epic saga 0:02:47.076 --> 0:02:50.956 known as the Iliad. The Iliad is Homer's classic story 0:02:50.996 --> 0:02:53.916 of the Trojan War, the famous battle between the Greeks 0:02:54.156 --> 0:02:56.196 or the Achaeans as they were known back then, and 0:02:56.276 --> 0:02:59.636 the Trojans. The poem is divided into twenty four chapters 0:02:59.756 --> 0:03:02.396 or rhapsodies, which tell the story of the mighty but 0:03:02.476 --> 0:03:06.716 volatile Greek warrior Achilles. Achilles is pretty much the textbook 0:03:06.716 --> 0:03:08.716 case of what not to do when you're dealing with 0:03:08.716 --> 0:03:13.076 strong emotions, but the Iliot also gives us some surprisingly 0:03:13.076 --> 0:03:15.836 science backed hints about how we can regulate our rage 0:03:15.916 --> 0:03:19.116 and feel better. So as we began planning this new 0:03:19.196 --> 0:03:21.996 series on happiness Lessons of the Ancients, I knew I 0:03:22.036 --> 0:03:24.156 really wanted to include Homer and the Iliot and my 0:03:24.196 --> 0:03:26.836 list of classic texts to share with you, and so 0:03:26.876 --> 0:03:29.356 I asked my friend Stephanie, a former teaching assistant for 0:03:29.436 --> 0:03:31.836 my beloved Heroes class, if she'd be my guest for 0:03:31.876 --> 0:03:35.036 the episode. But Stephanie thought that I should go a 0:03:35.076 --> 0:03:37.836 little bigger with my guest choice this week. She thought 0:03:37.876 --> 0:03:41.156 I should ask the man himself, Greg Nash, and I 0:03:41.236 --> 0:03:45.116 told Stephanie, no way, Greg Nash not going to happen. 0:03:45.396 --> 0:03:50.156 He's far too important. Plus I'd be way too nervous. Hi, Greg, 0:03:50.236 --> 0:03:52.836 I hope this note finds you well. One of your 0:03:52.876 --> 0:03:56.516 former Heroes students, Laurie Santos, is host of a podcast 0:03:56.556 --> 0:03:59.156 called The Happiness Lab. We'll be doing a series of 0:03:59.236 --> 0:04:02.276 chats about the psychology of the ancients for the podcast, 0:04:02.716 --> 0:04:05.156 and I wondered if you might be interested in joining 0:04:05.236 --> 0:04:08.636 us to discuss happiness in the iliad? Do let us 0:04:08.676 --> 0:04:13.436 know all that? Definitely. A few hours later, Greg Naj 0:04:13.556 --> 0:04:15.476 emailed back and said he'd love to join the two 0:04:15.476 --> 0:04:18.556 of us for a conversation. I was thrilled and kind 0:04:18.556 --> 0:04:22.796 of terrified. I mean, Greg Nash, my Harvard professor legend. 0:04:23.276 --> 0:04:25.876 I demanded that Stephanie sitting in on our conversation just 0:04:25.956 --> 0:04:29.716 to give me some moral support because knowledge as well, Nash, 0:04:30.396 --> 0:04:35.236 I remember him being kind of scary. Greg. Hello, Hello, Hello, 0:04:35.556 --> 0:04:39.316 Hi Greg. I'm so happy to see this merry group 0:04:39.556 --> 0:04:43.316 Stephanie reunited, and it feels so good. I know it's 0:04:43.356 --> 0:04:47.316 been a long time. Turns out Greg wasn't as scary 0:04:47.356 --> 0:04:51.196 as I remember, Little pointed you. Dear Laurie. Oh my goodness, 0:04:51.236 --> 0:04:54.716 it's been too long. Seeing my old teacher turned me 0:04:54.876 --> 0:04:56.836 right back to the keener student I was back in 0:04:56.876 --> 0:05:00.476 the nineties wanting to impress the professor. I even showed 0:05:00.516 --> 0:05:03.356 him my course notes that I'd kept for decades. So 0:05:03.556 --> 0:05:08.316 this is my notebook from like nineteen ninety three. You 0:05:08.596 --> 0:05:15.436 see all that's beautiful. I still have all. It just 0:05:15.556 --> 0:05:19.876 warms my old heart. So here reunited with you. With 0:05:20.036 --> 0:05:23.436 that somewhat cringeworthy reintroduction to my former professor out of 0:05:23.436 --> 0:05:26.356 the way, Welcome to the latest in our Happiness Lessons 0:05:26.356 --> 0:05:29.436 of the Ancient series, where the Happiness Lab explores what 0:05:29.516 --> 0:05:32.796 we can learn about regulating our anger from Homer's famous 0:05:32.796 --> 0:05:38.156 epic The Ilian. I wanted NOAs to begin by explaining 0:05:38.196 --> 0:05:40.676 the ways that Greek heroes differ from the sorts of 0:05:40.716 --> 0:05:44.196 all powerful Marvel type superstars that we know in modern times. 0:05:45.196 --> 0:05:48.756 What I think is most interestingly different about ancient Greek 0:05:48.796 --> 0:05:52.116 heroes is that we expect a hero to bee hundred 0:05:52.116 --> 0:05:56.436 percent admirable, but actually there's that I'm going to make 0:05:56.836 --> 0:06:01.236 up this percentage. There's five percent or ten percent, sometimes 0:06:01.276 --> 0:06:04.796 even more in the hero's behavior, whether it's a he 0:06:04.996 --> 0:06:11.636 or a she, that is so shockingly bad, so shockingly dysfunctional, 0:06:11.956 --> 0:06:14.876 that you say to yourself, as a modern or postmodern, 0:06:15.076 --> 0:06:18.796 how can I admire somebody like that? But heroes weren't 0:06:18.796 --> 0:06:22.116 there to be admired. Heroes were larger than life humans 0:06:22.996 --> 0:06:27.636 who experience things that are kind of ordinary for us 0:06:27.716 --> 0:06:31.516 in a larger than life way. So even when they're dysfunctional, 0:06:32.196 --> 0:06:35.556 they're more dysfunctional than we can ever be. And that 0:06:35.676 --> 0:06:38.796 larger than life dysfunction definitely comes out when Greek heroes 0:06:38.876 --> 0:06:42.076 experience emotions, so much so that the ancients had a 0:06:42.076 --> 0:06:45.916 different word for extreme hero level feelings. When you and 0:06:45.956 --> 0:06:51.516 I talk about our emotions love, hate, anger, the ordinary 0:06:51.556 --> 0:06:56.076 word is pathos. Pats just pathos, and for us, that's 0:06:56.516 --> 0:07:01.716 an emotion. When a larger than life hero experiences these 0:07:01.836 --> 0:07:07.196 larger than life passions, you call them passion paths for 0:07:07.636 --> 0:07:10.996 a larger than life hero is the passion of the hero, 0:07:11.996 --> 0:07:15.036 and Homer's Iliad is a cautionary tale about the dysfunctional 0:07:15.076 --> 0:07:19.196 passions of one hero, in particular Achilles, the most glorious 0:07:19.196 --> 0:07:22.796 of all Greek warriors. Achilles A story begins towards the 0:07:22.916 --> 0:07:25.396 end of the Trojan War. The Greeks had been attacking 0:07:25.436 --> 0:07:27.636 the Trojans on their home turf for a long time, 0:07:28.076 --> 0:07:30.756 trying to lay sage to that great city, but the 0:07:30.796 --> 0:07:33.436 fighting had to stop because a terrible plague had taken 0:07:33.476 --> 0:07:36.036 over the Greek camps. It turns out that the Greeks 0:07:36.036 --> 0:07:39.076 had offended the god Apollo because Agamemnon, a sort of 0:07:39.196 --> 0:07:41.836 uber king on the Greek side, took one of Apollo's 0:07:41.836 --> 0:07:45.396 beloved priestesses as a war prize to stop the plague. 0:07:45.596 --> 0:07:49.916 Agamemnon was forced to give that priestess back, but Agamemnon 0:07:50.076 --> 0:07:53.396 was pretty bummed that he lost his war bride, so 0:07:53.436 --> 0:07:56.036 he decides to use his uber kingley power and pull 0:07:56.116 --> 0:07:59.436 rank and take someone else's war prize instead. And who 0:07:59.476 --> 0:08:03.116 does he choose to steal from Achilles? So the over 0:08:03.236 --> 0:08:08.916 king insults Achilles in a horrible way and justin take it, 0:08:09.836 --> 0:08:15.356 and Achilles was understandably really pissed. He feels betrayed not 0:08:15.436 --> 0:08:18.036 just by the over king, but by the fact that 0:08:18.116 --> 0:08:20.916 all the Achaeans go along with the insult by not 0:08:21.156 --> 0:08:25.276 standing up to the king, and so basically he is 0:08:25.356 --> 0:08:30.996 so hurt that he sits out the Trojan war during 0:08:31.236 --> 0:08:36.516 most of the twenty four performance units of the Eliot 0:08:36.516 --> 0:08:39.956 called Rhapsodies. Even after getting pleased from many of the 0:08:39.996 --> 0:08:42.996 other Greek kings, Achilles refuses to head back to the 0:08:42.996 --> 0:08:46.276 battle and help his fellow comrades who were dying in droves, 0:08:46.796 --> 0:08:49.076 and so, for example, you never see him in his 0:08:49.156 --> 0:08:52.116 glory days as a chariot fighter, and he was the 0:08:52.156 --> 0:08:54.676 best of chariot fighters, but he doesn't get to do 0:08:54.716 --> 0:08:57.476 any of that because he's sitting it out for a 0:08:57.476 --> 0:09:00.676 lot of the Eliot. The fact that Achilles spends most 0:09:00.676 --> 0:09:03.116 of the poems sitting out the war means that there's 0:09:03.116 --> 0:09:05.796 a chance he'll also lose something much more important than 0:09:05.836 --> 0:09:09.036 some lost war prize. If Achilles doesn't return to the fight, 0:09:09.516 --> 0:09:12.276 he stands to lose out on what the Greeks called cleos, 0:09:12.676 --> 0:09:15.756 the theme and the glory that heroes achieve after they die. 0:09:17.036 --> 0:09:20.156 In contrast to people today, the ancient Greeks really cared 0:09:20.196 --> 0:09:23.236 a lot about how they'd be viewed after death. They 0:09:23.276 --> 0:09:25.956 wanted to be immortalized for the virtue and brave deeds 0:09:25.996 --> 0:09:29.236 that they showed in life and especially in battle. They 0:09:29.236 --> 0:09:32.396 were hyper aware of their legacies, and at least some 0:09:32.436 --> 0:09:34.636 modern thinkers have argued that we might be a bit 0:09:34.676 --> 0:09:37.756 happier ourselves if we followed the ancient Greeks lead. Here, 0:09:38.356 --> 0:09:41.756 the journalist David Brooks has this kind of contrast that 0:09:41.756 --> 0:09:45.796 he talks about between resume virtues and eulogy virtues, like, 0:09:45.836 --> 0:09:48.596 resume virtues are the skills you know, all our college 0:09:48.596 --> 0:09:50.956 students are building up. But but we shouldn't care about 0:09:51.036 --> 0:09:52.436 you know, what people are going to say about us, 0:09:52.436 --> 0:09:55.036 what our legacy is going to look like after the fact. Yes, 0:09:55.116 --> 0:09:59.036 that's so true. And there's this question of what is permanence, 0:09:59.276 --> 0:10:02.116 and Lauria, you and I sit down and read the 0:10:02.156 --> 0:10:06.476 Iliot and we're still experiencing it. We're still witnesses of 0:10:06.756 --> 0:10:10.636 the clause that Achilles got into. But achieving immortal Greek 0:10:10.676 --> 0:10:14.436 cleios involved a difficult trade off. Most Greeks only got 0:10:14.516 --> 0:10:17.316 cleios when they risk their lives to achieve glory in war. 0:10:17.996 --> 0:10:21.196 It was a deadly bargain that really bothered Achilles so 0:10:21.276 --> 0:10:23.396 much so that he talked about it in a pivotal 0:10:23.436 --> 0:10:27.076 part of the poem. In Rhapsody nine, he's sitting there 0:10:27.676 --> 0:10:32.036 on the shores of the water and he's singing about 0:10:32.156 --> 0:10:37.236 the klaiadrawn, the deeds and the fame of the heroes. 0:10:37.556 --> 0:10:40.836 All of achilles friends come to him and say, you 0:10:40.956 --> 0:10:43.876 better come back to the fight, and he sort of 0:10:43.916 --> 0:10:46.396 makes this bargain with himself. He says, I'll have a 0:10:46.436 --> 0:10:50.276 short life, but I'll have that undying Clios. So what 0:10:50.316 --> 0:10:54.316 Achilles is saying is okay, and I'm willing to die 0:10:54.396 --> 0:10:57.916 young if I can get at Klaus. And if I 0:10:58.036 --> 0:11:01.156 do that, that will be a consolation, and that will 0:11:01.196 --> 0:11:04.876 be for me like a beautiful flower that never loses 0:11:04.916 --> 0:11:10.996 its aroma, never loses its luster, the vibrant colors even 0:11:11.156 --> 0:11:16.356 stay because it's not just Klaos, it's Klaus Afton. Flowers 0:11:16.596 --> 0:11:21.396 live and die, but this flower will live forever, unwilting. 0:11:21.716 --> 0:11:24.236 But in order to get that unwilting flower of Cleios 0:11:24.276 --> 0:11:28.036 and fame, Achilles needed to actually show bravery in battle, 0:11:28.156 --> 0:11:30.316 which he wasn't doing for most of the book because 0:11:30.316 --> 0:11:33.076 he was still pissed at Agamemnon and refusing to fight, 0:11:33.676 --> 0:11:37.756 So that's why Eventually Patrick Lys, who is the kind 0:11:37.756 --> 0:11:44.956 of kinder, gentler version of Achilles Patricks, Achilles's best friend, says, look, 0:11:45.036 --> 0:11:47.516 you can't let your people be slaughtered like this. Let 0:11:47.556 --> 0:11:50.516 me at least take your place. Achilles is right hand man, 0:11:50.596 --> 0:11:54.156 decides to perpetrate a bit of a ruse. Patriklos sneaks 0:11:54.156 --> 0:11:58.156 into battle against the Trojans using achilles armor for a while, 0:11:58.236 --> 0:12:00.716 the Trojans are fooled and freaked out that the great 0:12:00.716 --> 0:12:04.876 warrior Achilles was finally back, but the ruse didn't last long. 0:12:05.196 --> 0:12:09.036 Patriklos's helmet falls off and he's revealed, and since pat 0:12:09.276 --> 0:12:11.236 Close is not as good of a fighter as Achilles, 0:12:11.516 --> 0:12:14.876 he quickly gets killed by the Trojans. He dies at 0:12:14.916 --> 0:12:19.116 the hands of Hector, who is then the one Trojan 0:12:19.196 --> 0:12:22.716 hero that Achilles hates more than anyone else in humanity. 0:12:23.036 --> 0:12:25.116 And when Achilles finds out that the guy he hates 0:12:25.196 --> 0:12:28.236 most in the world killed his best friend, he absolutely 0:12:28.276 --> 0:12:31.316 loses it. The rage he was feeling before goes from 0:12:31.356 --> 0:12:34.676 bad to worse. Achilles doesn't just go back into battle. 0:12:35.076 --> 0:12:38.476 He goes full on berserker on the Trojans. He tracks 0:12:38.476 --> 0:12:41.076 down his mortal enemy, Hector and kills him on the spot, 0:12:41.596 --> 0:12:44.596 but he doesn't stop there. His anger causes him to 0:12:44.636 --> 0:12:47.916 go off the moral deep end. He attaches Hector's dead 0:12:47.956 --> 0:12:50.676 body to the back of his chariot and drags him 0:12:50.676 --> 0:12:53.236 around the walls of the city in front of Hector's 0:12:53.396 --> 0:12:57.236 entire family. He wants to mutilate the corpse of Hector 0:12:57.556 --> 0:13:02.756 and the cruelty he inflicts, which includes things like executing 0:13:02.836 --> 0:13:08.156 prisoners of war, slaughtering enemy without mercy, and then Laurie 0:13:08.156 --> 0:13:11.036 this is the worst part. After the slaughter is over 0:13:11.716 --> 0:13:15.796 and he and his men come back to the headquarters, 0:13:16.156 --> 0:13:19.076 there's going to be a feast, and he says, don't 0:13:19.116 --> 0:13:23.276 bother washing up, so he thinks that his own men 0:13:23.796 --> 0:13:27.036 can just start eating while they haven't washed off the 0:13:27.116 --> 0:13:30.436 human blood. Achilles' rage meant that he was violating all 0:13:30.516 --> 0:13:34.156 known standards of virtue and decorum. His extreme anger meant 0:13:34.196 --> 0:13:36.196 that he was yet again on the verge of losing 0:13:36.196 --> 0:13:39.236 his chlaos, of being remembered not for his bravery and 0:13:39.316 --> 0:13:42.396 virtue or for his wrath and debauchery, And then the 0:13:42.516 --> 0:13:46.036 question is how does the iliad resolve all this anger, 0:13:46.236 --> 0:13:48.876 all this hatred. When we get back from the break, 0:13:49.036 --> 0:13:52.196 we'll see that the answer involves understanding how anger actually 0:13:52.276 --> 0:13:55.796 works psychologically so that we can successfully regulate it during 0:13:55.836 --> 0:13:59.316 times of frustration and rage. To help us down that path, 0:13:59.676 --> 0:14:03.156 we'll meet a psychologist who will explain how strong emotions operate. 0:14:03.476 --> 0:14:05.796 She'll share some evidence based tips we can use to 0:14:05.836 --> 0:14:08.716 deal with anger, strategies that will see the great Greek 0:14:08.756 --> 0:14:11.676 heroes used to control their own passions, and ones that 0:14:11.676 --> 0:14:14.196 can help us out when we're having a frustrating day too. 0:14:14.956 --> 0:14:25.156 The Happiness Lab will be right back. The wrath sing 0:14:25.316 --> 0:14:32.396 goddess of Peleaius's son Achilles, that destructive wrath which brought 0:14:32.556 --> 0:14:37.636 countless woes upon the Achaeans and sent forth to Hades 0:14:38.156 --> 0:14:43.396 many valiant souls of heroes. One of the reasons I 0:14:43.436 --> 0:14:46.196 love Homer's famous poem is because there aren't many books 0:14:46.196 --> 0:14:48.796 that start with the word wrath or mannus as it's 0:14:48.836 --> 0:14:51.756 written in Greek, but that's how Homer begins the Iliot. 0:14:52.236 --> 0:14:54.316 He asks the muse to sing about the wrath of 0:14:54.316 --> 0:14:57.756 Achilles and how it could cause so much destruction. To 0:14:57.836 --> 0:15:00.836 better understand the psychology of anger, for this episode, I 0:15:00.956 --> 0:15:03.676 decided to take a page out of Homer's book. I 0:15:03.796 --> 0:15:07.276 decided to call upon my own muse, a therapist who's 0:15:07.276 --> 0:15:09.716 an expert on the science of anger and who can 0:15:09.756 --> 0:15:12.396 help us make sense of where Achilles went wrong with 0:15:12.436 --> 0:15:14.796 his rage. I got a great last night because I'm 0:15:14.796 --> 0:15:17.076 trying to pull into a parking spot and somebody opens 0:15:17.116 --> 0:15:18.836 their car door and then leaves it open while they're 0:15:18.836 --> 0:15:20.476 digging around in their truck. I don't know what they're 0:15:20.476 --> 0:15:23.036 doing move by trying to park, I'm trying to go 0:15:23.076 --> 0:15:26.676 grocery shopping. This is psychologist Faith Harper. You may remember 0:15:26.676 --> 0:15:29.436 Faith from a previous episode that we did on negative emotions. 0:15:29.796 --> 0:15:32.876 She's written several fantastic books on strategies we can use 0:15:32.916 --> 0:15:36.836 to control all forms of emotional pathos, including our anger. 0:15:37.276 --> 0:15:39.556 It just feels like there's this idea of how things 0:15:39.596 --> 0:15:42.996 should be, and when people break the contract, we get mad. 0:15:43.316 --> 0:15:46.756 Anything that doesn't align with how we expect the world 0:15:46.756 --> 0:15:50.956 to work can create these feelings of distress, but this 0:15:51.076 --> 0:15:54.956 need for movement to create change. Faith's work can help 0:15:55.036 --> 0:15:58.316 us learn from Achilles's cautionary tale of wrath and perhaps 0:15:58.516 --> 0:16:00.956 can help us apply the lessons of ancient Troy and 0:16:01.036 --> 0:16:04.396 the modern grocery store parking lot. I wanted to start 0:16:04.436 --> 0:16:07.316 with Faith's definition of anger. It comes from the Latin 0:16:07.396 --> 0:16:13.516 route meaning to outmove. It's creating energy to propel action. 0:16:13.836 --> 0:16:17.316 It's the nervous system getting wound up enough to do 0:16:17.596 --> 0:16:20.876 something with it. Anger is your body directing you to 0:16:21.036 --> 0:16:24.516 create change. And I think that's a good neutral definition 0:16:24.596 --> 0:16:27.316 because we have these ideas about anger being very negative 0:16:27.316 --> 0:16:30.196 and something that we shouldn't have, versus paying attention to 0:16:30.276 --> 0:16:32.796 my body is wanting me to make some kind of 0:16:32.836 --> 0:16:36.556 coreaction and protect itself. But Faith has argued that really 0:16:36.636 --> 0:16:40.316 understanding how anger works also requires a better grasp of 0:16:40.316 --> 0:16:42.636 what causes our wrath to unleash in the first place. 0:16:43.276 --> 0:16:46.316 So Faith has come up with a handy acronym, ahen 0:16:46.796 --> 0:16:49.916 ah e N that she uses with her patients to 0:16:49.916 --> 0:16:52.356 help them understand the kinds of things that tend to 0:16:52.356 --> 0:16:55.436 piss people off. The asans for anger, and the idea 0:16:55.556 --> 0:16:59.316 is it comes from one, two, or three of the 0:16:59.356 --> 0:17:03.676 following variables, which is H hurt E expectations not met 0:17:03.876 --> 0:17:08.676 or N needs not met or any combination thereof, and 0:17:08.756 --> 0:17:12.236 so unpacking it very simply, you know where your feelings hurt. 0:17:12.236 --> 0:17:14.676 Are you angry at your partner because they were supposed 0:17:14.676 --> 0:17:17.276 to be home for dinner and you had planned a 0:17:17.356 --> 0:17:19.996 nice dinner and then they had gone out drinking after 0:17:20.036 --> 0:17:23.636 work and whipsie daisy, You're hurt. Your anger is coming 0:17:23.756 --> 0:17:27.156 from being very hurt by somebody and wanting you in 0:17:27.236 --> 0:17:30.076 your body reacting in a way to express that. Did 0:17:30.076 --> 0:17:32.156 you have an expectation for them to show up. It's 0:17:32.196 --> 0:17:35.156 a really good and simple tool for parsing out what's 0:17:35.156 --> 0:17:38.436 the underlying emotion, but that helps us figure out our 0:17:38.436 --> 0:17:42.676 patterns of responses. Faith's Ahan acronym seems to fit Achilles 0:17:42.716 --> 0:17:47.356 a situation perfectly, as classicist Greg Naj explained before. When 0:17:47.396 --> 0:17:51.076 over king Agamemnon takes Achilles as war prize, it violates 0:17:51.076 --> 0:17:54.236 his expectations and his needs is a decorated war hero. 0:17:54.676 --> 0:17:58.716 He's really hurt. He experiences a really severe loss of honor. 0:17:59.116 --> 0:18:00.836 Faith thinks that this is one of the features of 0:18:00.876 --> 0:18:04.796 anger that we often forget. It's a social emotion. Anger 0:18:04.836 --> 0:18:07.796 happens not just in life or death situations, but when 0:18:07.796 --> 0:18:09.716 we feel like we're not getting what we need from 0:18:09.756 --> 0:18:11.836 the people around us. And I think a lot of 0:18:11.836 --> 0:18:14.356 that goes back in the fact that we are hardwired 0:18:14.596 --> 0:18:19.036 for connection, and we are hardwired to be protective of 0:18:19.116 --> 0:18:24.076 our people, and so insult to that or disrespect of 0:18:24.076 --> 0:18:26.556 that is a threat. Right. I am also a human 0:18:26.596 --> 0:18:29.076 being to be respected and you're not, and we're going 0:18:29.116 --> 0:18:31.076 to We're going to have a problem if you can't 0:18:31.116 --> 0:18:34.356 correct yourself. Is what the body is doing, and that's 0:18:34.396 --> 0:18:37.396 where the anger is coming from. But even when anger 0:18:37.476 --> 0:18:40.516 comes from a big personal slight like Achilles received, it 0:18:40.596 --> 0:18:43.756 often occurs in different degrees of severity. You know, there's 0:18:43.836 --> 0:18:47.476 multiple layers to any strong emotion. We can be like content, 0:18:47.676 --> 0:18:49.876 or we can be completely blissed out right, it can 0:18:49.916 --> 0:18:53.076 be irritated. It can be like, you know, going back 0:18:53.076 --> 0:18:56.516 to like parking lot lady, was I angry? Like was 0:18:56.516 --> 0:19:00.156 I pissed off? No? I was irritated, But it would 0:19:00.196 --> 0:19:02.476 be really very easy for me to continue to feed 0:19:02.516 --> 0:19:05.196 that and it turned into a rage of thod and 0:19:05.316 --> 0:19:09.116 Home would definitely recognize this feature of our emotional psychology. 0:19:09.156 --> 0:19:13.236 Classics professor Greg Naj explains Homer used different words for 0:19:13.356 --> 0:19:16.316 different levels and kinds of anger. So one of them 0:19:16.396 --> 0:19:19.276 is mannis. That's the first word of the Iliad, and 0:19:19.276 --> 0:19:22.196 that's a cosmic anger. So when you have that, well 0:19:22.196 --> 0:19:27.916 only Achilles and superhumans like that habit, it has cosmic repercussions. 0:19:28.356 --> 0:19:31.036 Then there's that slower burn kind of anger that the 0:19:31.076 --> 0:19:34.436 Greeks called kuotos. You have a bad interaction at work 0:19:34.836 --> 0:19:37.156 which is followed by lots of traffic on your commute, 0:19:37.276 --> 0:19:39.876 and then you finally get home and see that no 0:19:39.916 --> 0:19:43.796 one did the dishes, and your emotions go boom, and 0:19:43.916 --> 0:19:47.756 kotos is like a time bomb tick tick tick doesn't 0:19:47.796 --> 0:19:50.876 necessarily go off at the right time. And finally, there's 0:19:50.876 --> 0:19:53.196 the worst kind of anger a hero or any person 0:19:53.236 --> 0:19:57.476 can experience, which Homer called holos, which is what happens when, 0:19:57.556 --> 0:20:01.716 for example, Achilles goes on a rampage and just kills everything. 0:20:01.876 --> 0:20:04.316 He's a killing machine. He reacts in a way that 0:20:04.396 --> 0:20:08.476 damages his own people and damages himself. Just horrifying, right, 0:20:08.676 --> 0:20:13.876 So that's holos, which is imagined as bile explosions of bile. 0:20:14.236 --> 0:20:18.876 It's an explosion of all the bad humors in the body. Now, 0:20:18.876 --> 0:20:21.236 I'm guessing that most of you listening right now may 0:20:21.276 --> 0:20:24.396 not have gone full on Achilles berserker mode. The last 0:20:24.396 --> 0:20:27.716 time you hit Holos level anger, you probably didn't murder 0:20:27.716 --> 0:20:30.436 your annoying boss or mutilate the guy who stole your 0:20:30.436 --> 0:20:32.916 parking place and drag his corpse around the lot. But 0:20:32.956 --> 0:20:35.276 I'm also guessing that at least some of you probably 0:20:35.316 --> 0:20:37.996 remember a situation in which you felt that chaotic ti 0:20:38.636 --> 0:20:41.516 koto stress bomb about to go off, or maybe even 0:20:41.556 --> 0:20:44.196 times when you're angry words towards a spouse or colleague 0:20:44.356 --> 0:20:47.516 did feel like an explosion of bile. These angry moments 0:20:47.556 --> 0:20:49.996 are ones that we're not proud of. They make us 0:20:49.996 --> 0:20:52.476 feel like bad people and lead to decisions that are 0:20:52.556 --> 0:20:55.476 usually not great for our happiness. Letting our anger run 0:20:55.516 --> 0:20:57.676 wild can also lead us away from being the kind 0:20:57.716 --> 0:21:00.036 of people we want to be. So what does the 0:21:00.076 --> 0:21:02.836 science say about how we can control our pathos before 0:21:02.836 --> 0:21:06.356 the bile and kotos bombs go off? And what, if anything, 0:21:06.436 --> 0:21:08.756 can we learn from the ancients about how to do better? 0:21:09.196 --> 0:21:12.636 Achilles goes into a rage and does all sorts of 0:21:12.716 --> 0:21:16.396 morally questionable things that we should be shocked about. And 0:21:16.436 --> 0:21:19.716 then the question is, how does a person like that 0:21:19.796 --> 0:21:23.396 ever achieve a happy ending? We'll hear the answer when 0:21:23.396 --> 0:21:35.396 the happiness I returns from the rake. So you know, 0:21:35.436 --> 0:21:39.516 I'm always trying to get my clients, you know, people 0:21:39.516 --> 0:21:41.876 who read my book to recognize, like, what are those 0:21:41.996 --> 0:21:45.076 early signs that there's something that needs to have you 0:21:45.116 --> 0:21:47.076 know that you need to pay attention to that there's 0:21:47.076 --> 0:21:50.636 something different that needs to happen. Therapist Faith Harper's first 0:21:50.676 --> 0:21:53.316 tip for regulating our anger is to take advantage of 0:21:53.316 --> 0:21:56.836 an important feature of anger. Like many emotions, it often 0:21:56.876 --> 0:22:00.436 takes place in degrees. When we experience a small violation 0:22:00.476 --> 0:22:03.756 of our needs or expectations, we usually don't jump into 0:22:03.876 --> 0:22:07.276 full holess bile explosion mode, and that means we have 0:22:07.316 --> 0:22:09.996 a chance to do something that Greek hero Achilles fail to. 0:22:10.556 --> 0:22:12.916 We can nip our frustration in the bud before an 0:22:12.916 --> 0:22:18.356 anger bomb goes off, because once we're in this full blown, big, 0:22:18.436 --> 0:22:22.836 big emotions, it's far harder to control anybody who has 0:22:23.076 --> 0:22:26.156 you know, just like seen red, anger can attest to that, 0:22:26.356 --> 0:22:28.356 you know, we can attest to that. And the path 0:22:28.356 --> 0:22:31.276 to noticing that negative sense early on involves a practice 0:22:31.316 --> 0:22:33.076 we talk about a lot on the Happy Toes s lab. 0:22:33.676 --> 0:22:36.156 We need to be mindful of how an emotionlike anger 0:22:36.276 --> 0:22:39.316 feels in our bodies, and so paying attention to those 0:22:39.316 --> 0:22:42.956 early warning signs of like, oh, like I've noticed that 0:22:42.996 --> 0:22:45.516 my jaw gets tight, or I noticed that my shoulders 0:22:45.596 --> 0:22:48.276 go up, you know, seeing like a body difference, I'm like, okay, 0:22:48.276 --> 0:22:50.676 so something's going on with your body? What's going on 0:22:50.796 --> 0:22:53.396 right now? And you know, really trying to pay attention 0:22:53.436 --> 0:22:56.516 to it sematically so we can attend to what needs 0:22:56.556 --> 0:22:59.756 to be attended to before it gets into a full 0:22:59.796 --> 0:23:02.716 blown rage fit, because anybody who has tried to calm 0:23:02.756 --> 0:23:04.876 themselves down in a full blone reache fit knows that 0:23:04.916 --> 0:23:06.916 it's nigh impossible and you just kind of have to 0:23:06.996 --> 0:23:09.916 let it wear itself out. We also need to notice 0:23:09.916 --> 0:23:12.716 whether the emotion we're dealing with is truly anger alone, 0:23:13.116 --> 0:23:15.756