WEBVTT - Building Body Confidence with Kelvin Davis of Notoriously Dapper 0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:02.880 And I am bad. 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:07.240 Welcome, Welcome, guys, it is your girl, Amada la Nigra 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:11.160 and you are listening to Exactly Amada, a production of iHeart. 0:00:11.520 --> 0:00:13.640 Thank you so much for tuning in, And as usual, 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:15.800 I'm going to repeat it in every show because I 0:00:15.840 --> 0:00:17.919 want to make sure you guys don't forget to give 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:21.400 us those live stars because I deserve it. I've been 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:24.160 giving you the best of me, so don't forget as well. 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:26.159 To subscribe to the podcast, and if you want to 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:29.200 hear it or watch it rather better, you can also 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:31.880 check me out on the YouTube channel exactly a'm Ada 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:33.360 or just what I'm not gonna and check out my 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:35.280 music videos and everything that I've done. You know that 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:39.240 in my show, I like to be exactly myself, unfiltered, uncensored. 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:42.720 I like to touch all different type of topics from 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:47.600 immigration to love, to bondage to anything you can think about. 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:51.120 And as much as I'm always encouraging women to love 0:00:51.159 --> 0:00:57.520 themselves to be I don't know, powerful, strong, independent, we 0:00:57.640 --> 0:00:59.440 never really talk about man as much. 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:00.800 I was thinking about it. 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:04.160 I'm like, you know, we don't really have we have 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:08.080 like big campaigns and all these things about women embracing 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:10.880 their bodies, their curves, their stretch marks, the selling like say, 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:12.200 the texture of. 0:01:12.160 --> 0:01:13.520 Their hair throws awna. 0:01:13.600 --> 0:01:16.040 But do we ever really see a lot of men 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:21.160 encouraging other men to embrace and accept their bodies and 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:24.040 the way that they're naturally built and all these other things. 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:26.839 I thought that it would be interesting to have someone 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:29.840 today that kind of spoke for men in that aspect. 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:33.800 But regardless, if we're gonna have such an interesting topic, 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:36.720 you know that I have to have my boy producer 0:01:36.880 --> 0:01:38.479 friend and everything else. 0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:40.479 Alex, Alex, are. 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:44.280 You in here always and forever? I live in your 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:47.000 podcast studio? You come here? 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:47.400 Yeah? 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:51.320 Yeah, in my podcast Little House above Cloud. 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:52.320 You live in here. 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:54.560 And I'm so grateful because you're like that other part 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:57.160 of my brain that whenever I can't connect it together, 0:01:57.200 --> 0:01:58.480 you're right there to remind me. 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:00.440 How have you been, by the way. 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:02.640 Doing great? I I'm really happy that you're gonna be 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:07.720 touching upon this whole uh men side of of like 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:11.320 like the world right, remanaging the body positivity in a 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:14.320 way that I guess no one has touched yet before. 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:17.200 Yeah, I feel like, Alex, do you think that men 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:20.040 getting enough credit or getting or get as much love 0:02:20.560 --> 0:02:23.680 as women do when it comes to their bodies or 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.480 their images, their image or whatever. Do you think that 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:28.960 men also get the same amount of love and attention 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:31.440 or do you think that men over just don't care 0:02:31.480 --> 0:02:32.280 as much as women. 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:35.720 I think that there's there's been a change where men 0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:40.280 are starting to care a little bit more and it's 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:42.639 gonna it's gonna be a good topic today. I think 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:45.919 that our guest is gonna have a lot to say 0:02:45.960 --> 0:02:48.919 about this, and without further ado, let's, uh, let's talk 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:51.200 a little bit about him to help us talk about 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:55.520 the challenges and overcoming these uh, these stereotypes. We want 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:59.040 to bring in Kelvin Davis. He is the creator of 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:03.239 the Blogoriously Dapper, a blog he created to help men 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:06.920 around the world look and feel better and to embrace 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:09.320 who they are. He has written a book as well, 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:14.360 called Notoriously Dapper, How to be a Modern Gentleman with Manners, 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:18.560 Style with men, Yeah, style and which is another thing 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:22.160 that we need right, style and body confidence. Without further ado, 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:26.639 ladies and gentlemen, help me here to welcome in Kelvin 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:29.120 to the show. How's it going Kelvin? 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:30.799 Yeah, Hello, holl y'all. 0:03:31.240 --> 0:03:34.000 We are lovely, We are great. I am so happy 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:38.680 to have you here on my podcast. But most importantly 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:41.240 for those that don't have the possibility right now obviously 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:42.880 of seeing him. 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:46.480 You guys need to see this background. It is great tropical. 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:52.160 The hat that the top that is very tropical. Gandha. 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:55.400 I love it very much, Thank you, thank you. Yeah, 0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:55.720 you know. 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:57.240 What, I want to get right to it because, like 0:03:57.280 --> 0:03:59.560 I was saying before, I feel that women we care more. 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:02.600 I don't know if it's because we're more hormonal, more emotional, or. 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:05.400 Because we have more pressure from society overall to look 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:06.400 a certain type of way. 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:08.440 So you know, there's more. 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:13.119 Obviously, the beauty industry right really makes sure to hate 0:04:13.160 --> 0:04:17.320 those buttons for women, and they have monetized, they've made 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:22.520 this whole you know, empire, monetizing off women's insecurities. 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:26.159 But I don't see the same amount of energy for men. 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:30.159 So one, it would be what inspired you to be 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:32.360 an advocate for body positivity for men? 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:36.960 So I started my blog based off a bad shopping 0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:40.520 experience that I had right when I graduated from college. 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:43.240 I was becoming an art teacher and I wanted to 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:46.040 go get some newer clothing, and I was told by 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:48.760 a sales associate when I asked for a larger size 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:51.279 that I was too fat to shop there. And it 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:53.520 was my first time as a guy ever being publicly 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:57.560 body shaved by a female, of course. And then, like 0:04:57.760 --> 0:04:59.880 you know, as guys, like you know, we'll like mess around, 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:03.279 joke around with each other and tease, but when you 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.520 know someone of the opposite sex tells you that you're 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:08.720 too fat to shopped there publicly, it's very embarrassing. Right, 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:13.360 So I had this feeling of being very insecure and 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:16.479 questioning things about how my body looked, and I just 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:20.599 really couldn't over overcome it mentally. So I decided that 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:23.720 I wanted I always wanted to start an actual blog, 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:26.040 and I was like, I wanted I wanted to also 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:28.560 like start a fashion blog, but I wanted to have 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:31.400 an underlying meaning, right, I just did, like I just 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:34.800 didn't want to post pictures without any context, without any 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:39.520 like you know, without any juice behind it. So the 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:42.839 juice and the motor bee behind it was about body 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:46.200 positivity or then because I started starting my blog in 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:49.599 twenty twelve, way before, like body positivity was like a 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:53.000 mainstream thing right. So it was just really about making 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:57.240 men feel confident and giving men a space to understand that, hey, 0:05:57.360 --> 0:06:00.200 you may feel not confident about your body, but hey 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:04.159 that's okay, and b you can look at my blog 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:06.920 and we can work together and overcome this to become 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:10.279 more confident and teach other men how to be more confident. 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:14.840 What's the difference the different feeling between getting uh, these 0:06:14.880 --> 0:06:17.599 comments from a woman and getting it from your homeboys. 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:20.799 Can you tell me the difference? Because as women, for sure, 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:24.719 anything can trigger us. If a girl tells you, oh, bitch, 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:29.480 you look fat, it's like but if a man, if 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:32.520 a man tells you a man that you're into tells you, oh, 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:34.560 you know, they don't be telling you you're bat bad. 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:37.039 They'd be like, oh, I think we should work out together. 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:40.080 Oh you know you're looking a little. That makes it 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:43.280 even worse. So it's like anything can trigger us, and 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:47.440 our trigger goes into bolima, you know, anorextria. 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:51.960 It can go into like going old with the fillers 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:55.560 and surgeries and waste trainers and you know, diet pills, 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:58.760 and it's like a whole domino effects that happens for women. 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:02.320 What's the difference with men, how do you accept these 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:05.839 these You know, I guess criticism differently from your homeboy 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:06.640 from a woman. 0:07:13.760 --> 0:07:15.720 So, like you said, with women, you know, it leads 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:18.160 like eating disorders and all those different kind of things, right, 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:20.920 I feel like with men it leads them to a 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:24.680 trail of toxic masculinity. It leads them to a trail 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:28.320 of when they feel bad about themselves, then they inflict 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:31.640 that same harm onto other people. You know, what I'm 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:34.200 saying is kind of like the old saying of hurt people, 0:07:34.280 --> 0:07:37.440 hurt people. So it's like whenever a man hurts, you know, 0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:40.520 it's very rare that a man will, you know, develop 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:43.520 those same things that a female will. He will, in 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:48.840 turn inflict emotional pain on somebody else without even acknowledging 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:51.040 the fact that the reason why he's doing that is 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:54.200 because he's hurt, because he's insecure, because he's all these 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:58.160 different things. And once you become securing yourself, you know, 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:00.680 you not only become a better person, but you come 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.800 a better brother, a better father, a better human, better everything, 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:06.920 and you're less likely to inflict that emotional pain on 0:08:06.960 --> 0:08:07.480 somebody else. 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:10.000 But I also as good as that point is, because 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:14.480 that is good I also want to acknowledge that there 0:08:14.800 --> 0:08:19.720 there there are men out there that because of certain 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:23.080 insecurities being told maybe by their family, because that's another 0:08:23.120 --> 0:08:25.560 thing we'll hit that in a second, but of course 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:29.360 their family. There also is an eating disorder that can happen. 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:32.559 This for men too, because we usually don't talk about 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:34.120 men's eating disorder. 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:35.280 We just talk about women. 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.320 There's men out there that also feel insecure and whether 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:41.240 it is that you decid to overeat or not eat 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:44.640 at all. Yeah, there is a group of men out 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:46.959 there that we also have to, like, okay, give them 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:49.480 support and also pay attention to those details. Because you 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:50.880 can have a friend that all of a sudden was like, 0:08:50.920 --> 0:08:53.840 you know, a little chunky, a little overwear, a little boky, 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:56.640 and all of a sudden you see them super skinny 0:08:56.960 --> 0:08:59.280 and you don't even know what happened. And that is 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:03.679 not only a trauma that happens from feeling insecure because 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.480 of comments, but it's a mental disorder as well. It's 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:08.440 like a like I always say, it's a domino effect. 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:11.480 So it is important that we also are careful with 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:13.480 our words when it comes to men because we are 0:09:14.000 --> 0:09:16.480 I feel that the world has automatically made us feel 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:18.959 that men are supposed to be strong. You're not supposed 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:21.120 to cry, You're not supposed to have feelings. So if 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:22.840 we're telling you that you're fat, that you're ugly, that 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:24.240 you're whatever, or just. 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:28.640 Rejection, we expect men to deal with rejection better than women. 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:31.240 So it's just like suck it up. You know, was wrong? 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:32.640 Da da da, And it's not like. 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:35.520 That everybody has emotions and things that they're dealing with. 0:09:35.880 --> 0:09:38.640 How do you feel that once you started this blog 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:42.160 of yours, they just see a lot of men actually 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:45.920 coming and being like, yo, I get where you're coming from. 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:47.760 I understand, I feel this certain type of way, thank 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:50.120 you for doing this. Like how has the reaction been? 0:09:50.760 --> 0:09:52.960 Yeah, So like when I first started, you know, obviously 0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:55.600 I had those bumps and cruises of the first couple 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:57.320 of years where a lot of men were just telling 0:09:57.320 --> 0:09:59.600 me to man up and go to the gym and 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:01.960 take the kind of diing pills. And there was a 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:04.480 thing called hydroxy cut at the time that was like 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:07.240 very popular, and I had these guys that were like, 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:09.800 take hydroxy cut, it does this, it does that, right, 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:12.920 So I even, you know, to piggyback off you set 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:15.880 about eating disorders. Even in college, I had a roommate 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:19.880 that was very small. He's probably like five six and 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:23.319 he maybe weighed no more than one hundred and thirty pounds, 0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:25.720 and I was a bigger guy, so I was eating 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:27.760 less to try to lose weight because I was like 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:30.280 kind of big, and he was eating so much that 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:33.440 he would like throw up. He was like overeating to 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:35.480 try to get bigger and try to gain more mass. 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:39.040 And you know, I like take it from both sides. 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:41.240 And when I would have been you know, tell me 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:44.079 that I need to take hydroxy cut all these things, 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:46.480 you know, it would bother me to a certain stick, 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:50.800 because I feel like women understand and they're more empathetic 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:53.440 when it comes to the struggles of body image. But 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:57.320 then I had some men who were very open about him, like, dude, 0:10:57.320 --> 0:10:59.800 thank you so much for talking about this. I felt 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:03.400 this for years, and I've never had anybody to explain 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:05.760 it to and talk to. So when I first started, 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.679 I really had honestly like fifty fifty. It was like 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:14.120 half and half. But now that I've become so successful 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:16.760 in a way that I get so much love and 0:11:16.800 --> 0:11:19.319 it's rare. It's almost on a rare occasion that I 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.679 have a man come to me with like some bullshit, right, Like, 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:25.760 they usually come to me and they're very positive and 0:11:25.800 --> 0:11:27.920 they're very enlightened. They're like, you know, thank you so 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:31.080 much because somebody had to do it, right. So yeah, 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:33.079 so I get like a lot of love now. But 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:35.000 in the past, it wasn't like. 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:38.480 That, okay, So so like, oh and going back into that, 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:40.400 because that's really important when I always talk about it, 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:44.240 let's talk about the family aspect of body positivity for 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:45.200 men as well. 0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:47.600 So growing up, right, I. 0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:51.600 Remember my you know, my mom went through domestic abuse 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:55.320 at the household, being an immigrant, not having papers, you know, 0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:58.160 and people would take advantage of the fact that if 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.559 you do anything, I'm calling immigration that. So there was 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:01.920 a lot of things she had to put up with 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:05.680 out of fear, and I recall her going through this 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:09.160 abusive relationship and me being scared. As a child. My 0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:13.400 automatic thing was getting food stick you know, just taking 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:15.560 the food, going into my room, locking myself in there 0:12:15.559 --> 0:12:19.040 and just eating and eating. Being being full would make 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:21.480 me kind of feel happy or just chill because I 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.880 enjoyed it so much. I would put my stress, my 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:27.360 attention into the food and watch TV so I couldn't. 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:29.200 I would just block out of the sound of the 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:31.960 screens or the arguments or the whatever in the eyes 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:34.800 in the outside world. My mother didn't really understand how 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:37.920 her personal issues as an adult affected me as a child, 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:41.200 which caused me to eat, which later on she would 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:44.959 be like that, you're so fat, or you know, no 0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:47.000 man like, you're never going to find a boyfriend who's 0:12:47.000 --> 0:12:49.600 going to want a fat girlfriend, And there were certain 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:51.959 comments that she would do that that was her way 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:55.040 of telling me to stop eating, but it made it worse, 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:58.920 you know, it was even more traumatic to call a 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:02.079 child or you don't look good, or who's gonna love 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:02.800 you if you're fat? 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:05.520 Or who's gonna So I. 0:13:05.480 --> 0:13:08.559 Don't know about you, but growing up, did you ever 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:11.600 feel any pressure from your family to lose weight? Where 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:14.240 did you grow up being skinnier or thinner and then 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:15.600 later on your body just you. 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:17.760 Bought what happened. You know. 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:21.640 I was very fortunate to come from a household that 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:25.520 was very loving, okay, and very accepting, and you know 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.200 that pushed me to be the best version of who 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:31.320 I was. And I can honestly say, in my childhood, 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:34.440 I never felt that pressure from my family. I felt 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:37.800 the pressure more of like from my friends in the 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:40.760 outside world, and my house was more of like my 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.760 safe haven for me. Like I had a mother that 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.120 was very body positive, I had a dad that was, 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.000 you know, very much like you know, it's okay for 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.000 you to cry, It's okay for you to have emotions, 0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:52.720 it's okay for you to have these things. You know, 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.400 tell us how you feel this and that, and you know, 0:13:55.880 --> 0:14:00.480 having that upbringing and you know, having parents that you 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:04.000 know instilled that positivity in me really helped me and 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:06.960 my adult age to overcome certain things. When I went 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:10.160 to college or when I had to overcome certain circumstances, 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:12.960 you know, I wasn't so beat down. I was able 0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:16.920 to pick myself back up because my parents always instilled 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:21.080 in me, Yo, this is who you are and this 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:24.120 is who you're not. My and my dad is a 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:28.520 big adman of like, you know who you are, but 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:31.440 also know who you're not. Okay, because you can't do 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:34.880 everything right right. And he will always tell me you 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:37.920 can do anything, Kelvin, but you can't do everything. Everything 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:40.960 is not nicked for you right, so, and I would 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:45.200 always take that mentality with me whenever I did anything right, 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:48.840 because if something's not built for me, I shouldn't force it. 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:51.840 You know what, There's something else that I think is important. 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:55.080 You know, I went from family. Now let's go from 0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:59.440 family to society. How do you feel that society puts 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:02.360 a certain pressure on men to look a certain type 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:06.720 of way? Because I also saw that recently, like these 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:11.280 light bos and the abstity and all these other things 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:14.120 are happening. You have like you can get biceps and this, 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:17.760 and then you can get you know, the cosmetic surgery 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:20.760 world has actually really increased for men. 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.600 Before this, it's the thing for women. You know, you're 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:24.600 being yells, you're this. 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:28.160 But then now there's a whole new era of men 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:33.440 who feel more comfortable getting surgery, not necessarily because they 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:35.960 feel that they need it. Is also a lot of 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:38.880 pressure from society. What are your thoughts on that. 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:41.880 I think it's tragic because I mean, I've read this 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:45.320 article from GQ. From GQ a couple of weeks ago, 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:48.000 and it was about a new surgery that's on the rise, 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:51.440 about men getting their femurs broken to be six to 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:56.040 eight inches taller. Yeah, and that really, like that just 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:57.920 set on well with me. The fact that you know 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:02.120 that society put so much pressure on men to a 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.760 be tall, dark and handsome, to be you know, have asss, 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.600 to have these biceps, to have all these different things 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:12.440 that men will go to an extreme part of you know, 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:17.200 putting their body through a traumatic experience that they may 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:19.960 not survive, just to come out on the other side 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:24.280 trying to please the societal standard of beauty, whereas we 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:27.320 need to look at the societal center of male beauty 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:29.840 needs to be changed, you know what I mean, Like 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:32.600 we look at people and there's no say to them. 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:34.880 But like Michael B. Jordan and like Riot Gosling and 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:36.960 all these guys that have all these abs. They're on 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.720 the cover of Men's Fitness and Men's Health, and you 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:42.440 know they're like how to gain twenty pounds in three 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:44.960 months and all this stuff. Right, It's like, you know, 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:47.880 men need to be confident in who they are and 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:50.560 appreciate what their body can do for them and not 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:53.320 what the body looks like, because your body does so 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:55.960 much more for you than what it looks like. Your 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:59.040 body gets you up, your body warns you when there's 0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:02.360 whenever there's trouble your body, you know, die. 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:06.520 It's the only body that you have and that you'll 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:08.080 have for the rest of your life. And if you 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:10.080 don't take care of it, you know what I mean, 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:11.400 you'll end up regretting it. 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:13.560 And they agree one thousand percent. 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:15.840 I feel that we don't talk about it enough, but 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:18.439 men do have a lot of pressure to look a 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:19.280 certain type of way. 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:21.920 It's all about perspective and how you see it. 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:25.760 Now when we talk about the physical aspect, let's. 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:29.400 Break good jam breaking. It's not just going to get 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:31.840 up here in the face. Okay, we get it. 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:34.080 Some people gonna get your faces a little bit, you know, 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:37.440 special to look at. But there's somebody out there who's 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:38.879 gonna love that face of yours. 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:39.600 You know what I'm saying. 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.400 There's some people out here who may not have hair, 0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:45.879 you know what. There's women out that they love ball guys. 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:48.400 I love ball guys. I'm into it. It doesn't matter 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:49.879 with you have hair, because I know a lot of 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:52.159 men that are insecure about not having hair and something 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.560 you thought that mean that they even have. They even 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:56.840 have frontals for the men now you can just glue 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:01.280 it on them. Yeah, they got raids, They got all 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:02.080 types of stuff for you. 0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:04.600 They get the little powder thing. You put the power 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:06.400 here and then you're good to go. 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:09.000 There's many things you can do, so don't feel insecure 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:11.439 about ane of that. It doesn't even matter. Health is 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:13.639 also an important aspect of it. It's not just the 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:16.320 physical part of like I want to look good, Let's 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:19.199 talk about health being because it's like, you know, I 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:19.920 get the. 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:22.000 Pressure from society, family, This dad is. 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:25.920 You know, people can tell you whatever, but sometimes somebody 0:18:25.920 --> 0:18:27.840 got to tell you, and they got to tell you, 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:31.639 not just for the physical part, but because you're not healthy. 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:33.880 This is not leading to a good direction. 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:37.400 If you are a certain amount of weight, and we 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:41.360 know that this certain amount of weight can affect diabetes, cholesterol, 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:45.199 heartbroad pressure, all types of things, somebody got to tell you. 0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:47.920 And if you're so sensitive, and I think it's also 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:49.880 about the way that it's being said. But if you're 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:52.480 so sensitive that no one can tell you that you 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:54.960 need help or that you need to stop, at the 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:57.160 long run, you're going to realize it on your own 0:18:57.280 --> 0:18:59.600 when it's too late. And I'm saying it because my 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:03.880 mom diabetic, she has cholesterol, high blood pressure, diroids all 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:04.280 types of. 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:07.160 Things, and she hates for me to be like, don't 0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:09.720 eat this, this is bad for you. Da da? When 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:10.439 is it okay? 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:13.000 Before I keep going on my other point, when is 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:17.040 it okay to tell someone you know you need to, 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:21.760 you know, maybe find a different way of dealing with 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:24.399 your depression or dealing with whatever so that you don't 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:25.320 affect it as long? 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:26.200 How can you. 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:28.639 Say this in a way that nobody feels you know, 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:32.080 what's the word? I'm like, offended person. 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:43.159 I feel like if you're close with the person anytime, 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:45.160 it's a good time to try to save that, right. 0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:48.120 How do you see so how do you say, okay, 0:19:48.320 --> 0:19:51.479