Speaker 1: And I am bad.
Speaker 2: Welcome, Welcome, guys, it is your girl, Amada la Nigra
Speaker 2: and you are listening to Exactly Amada, a production of iHeart.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for tuning in, And as usual,
Speaker 2: I'm going to repeat it in every show because I
Speaker 2: want to make sure you guys don't forget to give
Speaker 2: us those live stars because I deserve it. I've been
Speaker 2: giving you the best of me, so don't forget as well.
Speaker 2: To subscribe to the podcast, and if you want to
Speaker 2: hear it or watch it rather better, you can also
Speaker 2: check me out on the YouTube channel exactly a'm Ada
Speaker 2: or just what I'm not gonna and check out my
Speaker 2: music videos and everything that I've done. You know that
Speaker 2: in my show, I like to be exactly myself, unfiltered, uncensored.
Speaker 2: I like to touch all different type of topics from
Speaker 2: immigration to love, to bondage to anything you can think about.
Speaker 2: And as much as I'm always encouraging women to love
Speaker 2: themselves to be I don't know, powerful, strong, independent, we
Speaker 2: never really talk about man as much.
Speaker 1: I was thinking about it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, we don't really have we have
Speaker 2: like big campaigns and all these things about women embracing
Speaker 2: their bodies, their curves, their stretch marks, the selling like say,
Speaker 2: the texture of.
Speaker 1: Their hair throws awna.
Speaker 2: But do we ever really see a lot of men
Speaker 2: encouraging other men to embrace and accept their bodies and
Speaker 2: the way that they're naturally built and all these other things.
Speaker 2: I thought that it would be interesting to have someone
Speaker 2: today that kind of spoke for men in that aspect.
Speaker 2: But regardless, if we're gonna have such an interesting topic,
Speaker 2: you know that I have to have my boy producer
Speaker 2: friend and everything else.
Speaker 1: Alex, Alex, are.
Speaker 3: You in here always and forever? I live in your
Speaker 3: podcast studio? You come here?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, in my podcast Little House above Cloud.
Speaker 1: You live in here.
Speaker 2: And I'm so grateful because you're like that other part
Speaker 2: of my brain that whenever I can't connect it together,
Speaker 2: you're right there to remind me.
Speaker 1: How have you been, by the way.
Speaker 3: Doing great? I I'm really happy that you're gonna be
Speaker 3: touching upon this whole uh men side of of like
Speaker 3: like the world right, remanaging the body positivity in a
Speaker 3: way that I guess no one has touched yet before.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like, Alex, do you think that men
Speaker 2: getting enough credit or getting or get as much love
Speaker 2: as women do when it comes to their bodies or
Speaker 2: their images, their image or whatever. Do you think that
Speaker 2: men also get the same amount of love and attention
Speaker 2: or do you think that men over just don't care
Speaker 2: as much as women.
Speaker 3: I think that there's there's been a change where men
Speaker 3: are starting to care a little bit more and it's
Speaker 3: gonna it's gonna be a good topic today. I think
Speaker 3: that our guest is gonna have a lot to say
Speaker 3: about this, and without further ado, let's, uh, let's talk
Speaker 3: a little bit about him to help us talk about
Speaker 3: the challenges and overcoming these uh, these stereotypes. We want
Speaker 3: to bring in Kelvin Davis. He is the creator of
Speaker 3: the Blogoriously Dapper, a blog he created to help men
Speaker 3: around the world look and feel better and to embrace
Speaker 3: who they are. He has written a book as well,
Speaker 3: called Notoriously Dapper, How to be a Modern Gentleman with Manners,
Speaker 3: Style with men, Yeah, style and which is another thing
Speaker 3: that we need right, style and body confidence. Without further ado,
Speaker 3: ladies and gentlemen, help me here to welcome in Kelvin
Speaker 3: to the show. How's it going Kelvin?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Hello, holl y'all.
Speaker 2: We are lovely, We are great. I am so happy
Speaker 2: to have you here on my podcast. But most importantly
Speaker 2: for those that don't have the possibility right now obviously
Speaker 2: of seeing him.
Speaker 1: You guys need to see this background. It is great tropical.
Speaker 1: The hat that the top that is very tropical. Gandha.
Speaker 4: I love it very much, Thank you, thank you. Yeah,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 2: What, I want to get right to it because, like
Speaker 2: I was saying before, I feel that women we care more.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's because we're more hormonal, more emotional, or.
Speaker 2: Because we have more pressure from society overall to look
Speaker 2: a certain type of way.
Speaker 1: So you know, there's more.
Speaker 2: Obviously, the beauty industry right really makes sure to hate
Speaker 2: those buttons for women, and they have monetized, they've made
Speaker 2: this whole you know, empire, monetizing off women's insecurities.
Speaker 1: But I don't see the same amount of energy for men.
Speaker 2: So one, it would be what inspired you to be
Speaker 2: an advocate for body positivity for men?
Speaker 4: So I started my blog based off a bad shopping
Speaker 4: experience that I had right when I graduated from college.
Speaker 4: I was becoming an art teacher and I wanted to
Speaker 4: go get some newer clothing, and I was told by
Speaker 4: a sales associate when I asked for a larger size
Speaker 4: that I was too fat to shop there. And it
Speaker 4: was my first time as a guy ever being publicly
Speaker 4: body shaved by a female, of course. And then, like
Speaker 4: you know, as guys, like you know, we'll like mess around,
Speaker 4: joke around with each other and tease, but when you
Speaker 4: know someone of the opposite sex tells you that you're
Speaker 4: too fat to shopped there publicly, it's very embarrassing. Right,
Speaker 4: So I had this feeling of being very insecure and
Speaker 4: questioning things about how my body looked, and I just
Speaker 4: really couldn't over overcome it mentally. So I decided that
Speaker 4: I wanted I always wanted to start an actual blog,
Speaker 4: and I was like, I wanted I wanted to also
Speaker 4: like start a fashion blog, but I wanted to have
Speaker 4: an underlying meaning, right, I just did, like I just
Speaker 4: didn't want to post pictures without any context, without any
Speaker 4: like you know, without any juice behind it. So the
Speaker 4: juice and the motor bee behind it was about body
Speaker 4: positivity or then because I started starting my blog in
Speaker 4: twenty twelve, way before, like body positivity was like a
Speaker 4: mainstream thing right. So it was just really about making
Speaker 4: men feel confident and giving men a space to understand that, hey,
Speaker 4: you may feel not confident about your body, but hey
Speaker 4: that's okay, and b you can look at my blog
Speaker 4: and we can work together and overcome this to become
Speaker 4: more confident and teach other men how to be more confident.
Speaker 2: What's the difference the different feeling between getting uh, these
Speaker 2: comments from a woman and getting it from your homeboys.
Speaker 2: Can you tell me the difference? Because as women, for sure,
Speaker 2: anything can trigger us. If a girl tells you, oh, bitch,
Speaker 2: you look fat, it's like but if a man, if
Speaker 2: a man tells you a man that you're into tells you, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, they don't be telling you you're bat bad.
Speaker 1: They'd be like, oh, I think we should work out together.
Speaker 1: Oh you know you're looking a little. That makes it
Speaker 1: even worse. So it's like anything can trigger us, and
Speaker 1: our trigger goes into bolima, you know, anorextria.
Speaker 2: It can go into like going old with the fillers
Speaker 2: and surgeries and waste trainers and you know, diet pills,
Speaker 2: and it's like a whole domino effects that happens for women.
Speaker 2: What's the difference with men, how do you accept these
Speaker 2: these You know, I guess criticism differently from your homeboy
Speaker 2: from a woman.
Speaker 4: So, like you said, with women, you know, it leads
Speaker 4: like eating disorders and all those different kind of things, right,
Speaker 4: I feel like with men it leads them to a
Speaker 4: trail of toxic masculinity. It leads them to a trail
Speaker 4: of when they feel bad about themselves, then they inflict
Speaker 4: that same harm onto other people. You know, what I'm
Speaker 4: saying is kind of like the old saying of hurt people,
Speaker 4: hurt people. So it's like whenever a man hurts, you know,
Speaker 4: it's very rare that a man will, you know, develop
Speaker 4: those same things that a female will. He will, in
Speaker 4: turn inflict emotional pain on somebody else without even acknowledging
Speaker 4: the fact that the reason why he's doing that is
Speaker 4: because he's hurt, because he's insecure, because he's all these
Speaker 4: different things. And once you become securing yourself, you know,
Speaker 4: you not only become a better person, but you come
Speaker 4: a better brother, a better father, a better human, better everything,
Speaker 4: and you're less likely to inflict that emotional pain on
Speaker 4: somebody else.
Speaker 2: But I also as good as that point is, because
Speaker 2: that is good I also want to acknowledge that there
Speaker 2: there there are men out there that because of certain
Speaker 2: insecurities being told maybe by their family, because that's another
Speaker 2: thing we'll hit that in a second, but of course
Speaker 2: their family. There also is an eating disorder that can happen.
Speaker 2: This for men too, because we usually don't talk about
Speaker 2: men's eating disorder.
Speaker 1: We just talk about women.
Speaker 2: There's men out there that also feel insecure and whether
Speaker 2: it is that you decid to overeat or not eat
Speaker 2: at all. Yeah, there is a group of men out
Speaker 2: there that we also have to, like, okay, give them
Speaker 2: support and also pay attention to those details. Because you
Speaker 2: can have a friend that all of a sudden was like,
Speaker 2: you know, a little chunky, a little overwear, a little boky,
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden you see them super skinny
Speaker 2: and you don't even know what happened. And that is
Speaker 2: not only a trauma that happens from feeling insecure because
Speaker 2: of comments, but it's a mental disorder as well. It's
Speaker 2: like a like I always say, it's a domino effect.
Speaker 2: So it is important that we also are careful with
Speaker 2: our words when it comes to men because we are
Speaker 2: I feel that the world has automatically made us feel
Speaker 2: that men are supposed to be strong. You're not supposed
Speaker 2: to cry, You're not supposed to have feelings. So if
Speaker 2: we're telling you that you're fat, that you're ugly, that
Speaker 2: you're whatever, or just.
Speaker 1: Rejection, we expect men to deal with rejection better than women.
Speaker 1: So it's just like suck it up. You know, was wrong?
Speaker 1: Da da da, And it's not like.
Speaker 2: That everybody has emotions and things that they're dealing with.
Speaker 2: How do you feel that once you started this blog
Speaker 2: of yours, they just see a lot of men actually
Speaker 2: coming and being like, yo, I get where you're coming from.
Speaker 2: I understand, I feel this certain type of way, thank
Speaker 2: you for doing this. Like how has the reaction been?
Speaker 4: Yeah, So like when I first started, you know, obviously
Speaker 4: I had those bumps and cruises of the first couple
Speaker 4: of years where a lot of men were just telling
Speaker 4: me to man up and go to the gym and
Speaker 4: take the kind of diing pills. And there was a
Speaker 4: thing called hydroxy cut at the time that was like
Speaker 4: very popular, and I had these guys that were like,
Speaker 4: take hydroxy cut, it does this, it does that, right,
Speaker 4: So I even, you know, to piggyback off you set
Speaker 4: about eating disorders. Even in college, I had a roommate
Speaker 4: that was very small. He's probably like five six and
Speaker 4: he maybe weighed no more than one hundred and thirty pounds,
Speaker 4: and I was a bigger guy, so I was eating
Speaker 4: less to try to lose weight because I was like
Speaker 4: kind of big, and he was eating so much that
Speaker 4: he would like throw up. He was like overeating to
Speaker 4: try to get bigger and try to gain more mass.
Speaker 4: And you know, I like take it from both sides.
Speaker 4: And when I would have been you know, tell me
Speaker 4: that I need to take hydroxy cut all these things,
Speaker 4: you know, it would bother me to a certain stick,
Speaker 4: because I feel like women understand and they're more empathetic
Speaker 4: when it comes to the struggles of body image. But
Speaker 4: then I had some men who were very open about him, like, dude,
Speaker 4: thank you so much for talking about this. I felt
Speaker 4: this for years, and I've never had anybody to explain
Speaker 4: it to and talk to. So when I first started,
Speaker 4: I really had honestly like fifty fifty. It was like
Speaker 4: half and half. But now that I've become so successful
Speaker 4: in a way that I get so much love and
Speaker 4: it's rare. It's almost on a rare occasion that I
Speaker 4: have a man come to me with like some bullshit, right, Like,
Speaker 4: they usually come to me and they're very positive and
Speaker 4: they're very enlightened. They're like, you know, thank you so
Speaker 4: much because somebody had to do it, right. So yeah,
Speaker 4: so I get like a lot of love now. But
Speaker 4: in the past, it wasn't like.
Speaker 2: That, okay, So so like, oh and going back into that,
Speaker 2: because that's really important when I always talk about it,
Speaker 2: let's talk about the family aspect of body positivity for
Speaker 2: men as well.
Speaker 1: So growing up, right, I.
Speaker 2: Remember my you know, my mom went through domestic abuse
Speaker 2: at the household, being an immigrant, not having papers, you know,
Speaker 2: and people would take advantage of the fact that if
Speaker 2: you do anything, I'm calling immigration that. So there was
Speaker 2: a lot of things she had to put up with
Speaker 2: out of fear, and I recall her going through this
Speaker 2: abusive relationship and me being scared. As a child. My
Speaker 2: automatic thing was getting food stick you know, just taking
Speaker 2: the food, going into my room, locking myself in there
Speaker 2: and just eating and eating. Being being full would make
Speaker 2: me kind of feel happy or just chill because I
Speaker 2: enjoyed it so much. I would put my stress, my
Speaker 2: attention into the food and watch TV so I couldn't.
Speaker 2: I would just block out of the sound of the
Speaker 2: screens or the arguments or the whatever in the eyes
Speaker 2: in the outside world. My mother didn't really understand how
Speaker 2: her personal issues as an adult affected me as a child,
Speaker 2: which caused me to eat, which later on she would
Speaker 2: be like that, you're so fat, or you know, no
Speaker 2: man like, you're never going to find a boyfriend who's
Speaker 2: going to want a fat girlfriend, And there were certain
Speaker 2: comments that she would do that that was her way
Speaker 2: of telling me to stop eating, but it made it worse,
Speaker 2: you know, it was even more traumatic to call a
Speaker 2: child or you don't look good, or who's gonna love
Speaker 2: you if you're fat?
Speaker 1: Or who's gonna So I.
Speaker 2: Don't know about you, but growing up, did you ever
Speaker 2: feel any pressure from your family to lose weight? Where
Speaker 2: did you grow up being skinnier or thinner and then
Speaker 2: later on your body just you.
Speaker 1: Bought what happened. You know.
Speaker 4: I was very fortunate to come from a household that
Speaker 4: was very loving, okay, and very accepting, and you know
Speaker 4: that pushed me to be the best version of who
Speaker 4: I was. And I can honestly say, in my childhood,
Speaker 4: I never felt that pressure from my family. I felt
Speaker 4: the pressure more of like from my friends in the
Speaker 4: outside world, and my house was more of like my
Speaker 4: safe haven for me. Like I had a mother that
Speaker 4: was very body positive, I had a dad that was,
Speaker 4: you know, very much like you know, it's okay for
Speaker 4: you to cry, It's okay for you to have emotions,
Speaker 4: it's okay for you to have these things. You know,
Speaker 4: tell us how you feel this and that, and you know,
Speaker 4: having that upbringing and you know, having parents that you
Speaker 4: know instilled that positivity in me really helped me and
Speaker 4: my adult age to overcome certain things. When I went
Speaker 4: to college or when I had to overcome certain circumstances,
Speaker 4: you know, I wasn't so beat down. I was able
Speaker 4: to pick myself back up because my parents always instilled
Speaker 4: in me, Yo, this is who you are and this
Speaker 4: is who you're not. My and my dad is a
Speaker 4: big adman of like, you know who you are, but
Speaker 4: also know who you're not. Okay, because you can't do
Speaker 4: everything right right. And he will always tell me you
Speaker 4: can do anything, Kelvin, but you can't do everything. Everything
Speaker 4: is not nicked for you right, so, and I would
Speaker 4: always take that mentality with me whenever I did anything right,
Speaker 4: because if something's not built for me, I shouldn't force it.
Speaker 2: You know what, There's something else that I think is important.
Speaker 2: You know, I went from family. Now let's go from
Speaker 2: family to society. How do you feel that society puts
Speaker 2: a certain pressure on men to look a certain type
Speaker 2: of way? Because I also saw that recently, like these
Speaker 2: light bos and the abstity and all these other things
Speaker 2: are happening. You have like you can get biceps and this,
Speaker 2: and then you can get you know, the cosmetic surgery
Speaker 2: world has actually really increased for men.
Speaker 1: Before this, it's the thing for women. You know, you're
Speaker 1: being yells, you're this.
Speaker 2: But then now there's a whole new era of men
Speaker 2: who feel more comfortable getting surgery, not necessarily because they
Speaker 2: feel that they need it. Is also a lot of
Speaker 2: pressure from society. What are your thoughts on that.
Speaker 4: I think it's tragic because I mean, I've read this
Speaker 4: article from GQ. From GQ a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 4: and it was about a new surgery that's on the rise,
Speaker 4: about men getting their femurs broken to be six to
Speaker 4: eight inches taller. Yeah, and that really, like that just
Speaker 4: set on well with me. The fact that you know
Speaker 4: that society put so much pressure on men to a
Speaker 4: be tall, dark and handsome, to be you know, have asss,
Speaker 4: to have these biceps, to have all these different things
Speaker 4: that men will go to an extreme part of you know,
Speaker 4: putting their body through a traumatic experience that they may
Speaker 4: not survive, just to come out on the other side
Speaker 4: trying to please the societal standard of beauty, whereas we
Speaker 4: need to look at the societal center of male beauty
Speaker 4: needs to be changed, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 4: we look at people and there's no say to them.
Speaker 4: But like Michael B. Jordan and like Riot Gosling and
Speaker 4: all these guys that have all these abs. They're on
Speaker 4: the cover of Men's Fitness and Men's Health, and you
Speaker 4: know they're like how to gain twenty pounds in three
Speaker 4: months and all this stuff. Right, It's like, you know,
Speaker 4: men need to be confident in who they are and
Speaker 4: appreciate what their body can do for them and not
Speaker 4: what the body looks like, because your body does so
Speaker 4: much more for you than what it looks like. Your
Speaker 4: body gets you up, your body warns you when there's
Speaker 4: whenever there's trouble your body, you know, die.
Speaker 2: It's the only body that you have and that you'll
Speaker 2: have for the rest of your life. And if you
Speaker 2: don't take care of it, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: you'll end up regretting it.
Speaker 1: And they agree one thousand percent.
Speaker 2: I feel that we don't talk about it enough, but
Speaker 2: men do have a lot of pressure to look a
Speaker 2: certain type of way.
Speaker 1: It's all about perspective and how you see it.
Speaker 2: Now when we talk about the physical aspect, let's.
Speaker 1: Break good jam breaking. It's not just going to get
Speaker 1: up here in the face. Okay, we get it.
Speaker 2: Some people gonna get your faces a little bit, you know,
Speaker 2: special to look at. But there's somebody out there who's
Speaker 2: gonna love that face of yours.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: There's some people out here who may not have hair,
Speaker 2: you know what. There's women out that they love ball guys.
Speaker 2: I love ball guys. I'm into it. It doesn't matter
Speaker 2: with you have hair, because I know a lot of
Speaker 2: men that are insecure about not having hair and something
Speaker 2: you thought that mean that they even have. They even
Speaker 2: have frontals for the men now you can just glue
Speaker 2: it on them. Yeah, they got raids, They got all
Speaker 2: types of stuff for you.
Speaker 1: They get the little powder thing. You put the power
Speaker 1: here and then you're good to go.
Speaker 2: There's many things you can do, so don't feel insecure
Speaker 2: about ane of that. It doesn't even matter. Health is
Speaker 2: also an important aspect of it. It's not just the
Speaker 2: physical part of like I want to look good, Let's
Speaker 2: talk about health being because it's like, you know, I
Speaker 2: get the.
Speaker 1: Pressure from society, family, This dad is.
Speaker 2: You know, people can tell you whatever, but sometimes somebody
Speaker 2: got to tell you, and they got to tell you,
Speaker 2: not just for the physical part, but because you're not healthy.
Speaker 1: This is not leading to a good direction.
Speaker 2: If you are a certain amount of weight, and we
Speaker 2: know that this certain amount of weight can affect diabetes, cholesterol,
Speaker 2: heartbroad pressure, all types of things, somebody got to tell you.
Speaker 2: And if you're so sensitive, and I think it's also
Speaker 2: about the way that it's being said. But if you're
Speaker 2: so sensitive that no one can tell you that you
Speaker 2: need help or that you need to stop, at the
Speaker 2: long run, you're going to realize it on your own
Speaker 2: when it's too late. And I'm saying it because my
Speaker 2: mom diabetic, she has cholesterol, high blood pressure, diroids all
Speaker 2: types of.
Speaker 1: Things, and she hates for me to be like, don't
Speaker 1: eat this, this is bad for you. Da da? When
Speaker 1: is it okay?
Speaker 2: Before I keep going on my other point, when is
Speaker 2: it okay to tell someone you know you need to,
Speaker 2: you know, maybe find a different way of dealing with
Speaker 2: your depression or dealing with whatever so that you don't
Speaker 2: affect it as long?
Speaker 1: How can you.
Speaker 2: Say this in a way that nobody feels you know,
Speaker 2: what's the word? I'm like, offended person.
Speaker 4: I feel like if you're close with the person anytime,
Speaker 4: it's a good time to try to save that, right.
Speaker 4: How do you see so how do you say, okay,
Speaker 4: that's a good point. So I have type two diabet beaties.
Speaker 4: I got diagnosed in twenty twenty one, right, and I
Speaker 4: was around two sixty at the time, and I had
Speaker 4: to make a choice to either keep living this lifestyle
Speaker 4: that I was living or make a change and try
Speaker 4: to reverse this. Right, So I changed the way that
Speaker 4: I ate. I went to a diabetes education class. I
Speaker 4: was very proactive about it, right, and I lost like
Speaker 4: over forty pounds just from changing small things in my diet. Tonight,
Speaker 4: drinking so much Jews drinking water instead instead of eating this,
Speaker 4: I would eat that right. So for me, I've been
Speaker 4: able to self, you know, take care of myself with
Speaker 4: type two diabetes without any MEDICAI case, which a lot
Speaker 4: of people can't say because they're you know, still you know,
Speaker 4: in that lifestyle. But the easiest way I would say
Speaker 4: to tell somebody is, you know, to make it about
Speaker 4: you being worried about them, instead of making it about like,
Speaker 4: you know you're unhealthy this and not like I'm really
Speaker 4: worried about you. I want you to live forever. I
Speaker 4: want like I like, I want these memories. I want
Speaker 4: to go to the beach with you next year. I
Speaker 4: want to do this and do that, And I'm afraid
Speaker 4: that these things may not be possible if you keep
Speaker 4: living this life. It's the same thing. It's like if
Speaker 4: you have a friend that is like a gangbanger and
Speaker 4: you know he's out here living this crazy life and
Speaker 4: could could get get shot any day, you would have
Speaker 4: that same conversation with them, like, yo, slow the fuck down,
Speaker 4: like you need to stop this kind of life so
Speaker 4: we can prosper together.
Speaker 2: And then also for those that if you ever get
Speaker 2: that message from someone who cares about you.
Speaker 1: Please don't get offended.
Speaker 2: Please don't go zero to a thousand, because sometimes you
Speaker 2: could be saying it with all the love and then
Speaker 2: the person gets all offended. If someone is telling you
Speaker 2: with love, please understand where they're coming from and because
Speaker 2: it's the best for you. And honestly, I understand that
Speaker 2: it's a mental thing because sometimes you don't see yourself
Speaker 2: in the mirror the way the others see you. And
Speaker 2: that's an issue, you know what I mean, Because my
Speaker 2: mom used to say, like, but you have a mirror,
Speaker 2: you could see yourself.
Speaker 1: You're fat. You nobody gotta tell you.
Speaker 2: But sometimes in your mind, like there was a point,
Speaker 2: there was a moment in my life where I got
Speaker 2: really really skinny and I could not take that bigger
Speaker 2: image of myself out of my mind. I would see
Speaker 2: all the imperfections in me, like, oh, this is fat,
Speaker 2: this is fat, and everybody's like, yo, you are not fat,
Speaker 2: you are like extra skinny. I don't know what you
Speaker 2: see and I just couldn't see it. So sometimes we
Speaker 2: have to understand that this is also a mental thing.
Speaker 2: You know, we don't want to put that amount of
Speaker 2: pressure and let's even take it further when we talk
Speaker 2: about body positivity, we have to understand that this starts
Speaker 2: at a very early age. We have kids in elementary
Speaker 2: school who've committed suicide because they've been bullied by other kids.
Speaker 2: They call them fat, or they call them this, or
Speaker 2: they call them ugly, or they call them tak or
Speaker 2: they call them short, or they call them So this
Speaker 2: goes from any age range. And I also am saying
Speaker 2: this for anybody who's a parent. If you're a parent,
Speaker 2: if you are a brother or sister or whatever, and
Speaker 2: you see that you have a nephew or whatever that
Speaker 2: may be a little bit on the chunkier side, or
Speaker 2: their you know, their body's a little bit fuller. It
Speaker 2: is important that we speak positive words of encouragement into
Speaker 2: these kids because it's already a lot of pressure for adults.
Speaker 2: Imagine for the younger ones that don't know how to
Speaker 2: deal with the pressure of society. So I'm just trying
Speaker 2: to make sure that this conversation goes all across the board,
Speaker 2: that this starts from any age to even the oldest
Speaker 2: adults can't at some you know, at some point, sometimes
Speaker 2: take the pressure.
Speaker 1: We spoke about height, we spoke about weight, We're adults.
Speaker 2: We're grown people, and I think that is important that
Speaker 2: we talk about it because someone out here is listening
Speaker 2: to this podcast right now who feels insecure as how
Speaker 2: no one they have nowhere to listen to someone that's
Speaker 2: going to be like, yo, that doesn't even matter. There's
Speaker 2: more important things out there, and the way that you
Speaker 2: are is just good enough. Now, I want to ask
Speaker 2: you this, what can we do as individuals right to
Speaker 2: help to help promote body positivity and the acceptance in
Speaker 2: the community overall?
Speaker 1: Like, what can we do to support to.
Speaker 4: Help I think the media and society has a duty
Speaker 4: could do a better job of stop, you know, idealizing
Speaker 4: a certain type of body as beauty. Right, if we
Speaker 4: could get to a point where literally everybody is beautiful
Speaker 4: in the media and in society, there wouldn't be a
Speaker 4: point for people to compare their bodies to this person,
Speaker 4: to that person, or to be like, oh, I wish
Speaker 4: I had this and I wish I had that, because
Speaker 4: there's people that have curly hair, which they had straight hair,
Speaker 4: people that had straight hair, which they had curly hair,
Speaker 4: And it's like, y'all both beautiful just the way you are, right,
Speaker 4: And if you want to you know, you can straighten
Speaker 4: your hair, you can curl your actual hair. But it's like,
Speaker 4: you know, when we when society and the media stops
Speaker 4: putting so much emphasis on this is what beauty is
Speaker 4: and this is what beauty isn't we can get to
Speaker 4: a point where everybody will just be like, oh, I
Speaker 4: am beautiful the.
Speaker 1: Way that I am.
Speaker 4: It's hard because the media makes so much of a
Speaker 4: profit off of you know, magazines and these you know,
Speaker 4: dieties and all these different things, and all these fats
Speaker 4: and all these you know, different things. Like there's so
Speaker 4: much money to be made from people being insecure, right,
Speaker 4: even like with like the women's shapewear. Even they have
Speaker 4: now shirts that men can wear that shape the men
Speaker 4: underneath their shirts. They have like little shapewear for like men,
Speaker 4: little shirts. So there's so much money to be made
Speaker 4: off of insecurities that I don't think the media will
Speaker 4: ever stop. But society we can do it. In society.
Speaker 4: We can look at people and say, hey, it don't matter,
Speaker 4: it's short, big, whatever, it's all. And I feel like
Speaker 4: people put such a negative connotation on the word fat,
Speaker 4: and I feel like there was a negative connotation on
Speaker 4: the word fat. But now that I've you know, been
Speaker 4: able to experience this body positivity thing for so long,
Speaker 4: there's so many women that are fat that want to
Speaker 4: be called fat. They're like, don't call me thick, like,
Speaker 4: don't call me this like I am fat?
Speaker 2: Like I think, for example, Lizzo in this new generation
Speaker 2: really gave power to the girls that are a little
Speaker 2: bit thicker, that a little bit more around the fuller.
Speaker 2: She definitely made them feel positive. And I think that
Speaker 2: we need more encouragement. We need more of that.
Speaker 1: Honestly, Listen, if we were to if we were.
Speaker 2: To break down all the things that are supposed to
Speaker 2: be done correctly by society, we would be.
Speaker 1: Here all day long.
Speaker 2: Do I personally change that things are going to change
Speaker 2: from one day to the other. Know, is there anything
Speaker 2: that we can do, little by little individually.
Speaker 1: To support to change, to help.
Speaker 2: Yes, And and if anything else, say this, Embrace who
Speaker 2: you are, man, Love who you are. You only have
Speaker 2: one body and you will live for the rest of
Speaker 2: your life. And this one body, the one body that God,
Speaker 2: that God gave you. There are so many people out
Speaker 2: here in this world that wish that they had your body,
Speaker 2: whether it was fat, whether it was white, whether.
Speaker 1: It was black, tall.
Speaker 2: Sure this that there's somebody out there that wish that
Speaker 2: they could have your body. There's people out here who
Speaker 2: don't have any legs, who don't have any arms, and
Speaker 2: they still try to make the best out of their
Speaker 2: life while they.
Speaker 1: Still have their own bodies.
Speaker 2: So whatever body it is that you are in, love it,
Speaker 2: Embrace it, Be grateful that you have it, Treat it
Speaker 2: with love, appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Do not allow society, anybody that you don't even know who.
Speaker 2: They are, pressure you and to making you feel that
Speaker 2: your body is not good enough, that your body is
Speaker 2: not beauty beautiful, you know, Please do not allow that
Speaker 2: to happen. We need more people like Kelvin that is
Speaker 2: out here encouraging people to love who they are, whether
Speaker 2: you're facts by society or not. Yo, and not for nothing.
Speaker 2: Love who you are. Love it, embrace it. And this
Speaker 2: goes for men and women and also women. Stop shaming
Speaker 2: and blaming men for the body that they're naturally in.
Speaker 2: Don't do that if you don't like it, or you
Speaker 2: want them to change because you're worried or concerned about
Speaker 2: their health. There's ways that you can do it and
Speaker 2: say it and do it together, because I'm sure your
Speaker 2: body may not be the best and you're out here
Speaker 2: expecting him to do all these extra things. And the
Speaker 2: same thing goes for men. If you love your partner,
Speaker 2: if you love your sister, brother, whoever it is, help
Speaker 2: them figure out words of encouragement to help them become
Speaker 2: the best version of them. And with that being said, Kevin,
Speaker 2: thank you so much for joining me today. Where can
Speaker 2: we follow you? Where can we support what you're doing?
Speaker 2: What can we do to be part of this movement?
Speaker 4: Of course? So my Instagram is at Colvin Davis all
Speaker 4: one word. My blog is no touristidapper dot com and
Speaker 4: you can also find me on Facebook at no TOURISTI Dapper.
Speaker 4: And you can purchase my book everywhere books are sold.
Speaker 4: No TOARSTI Dapper.
Speaker 1: Okay, I know that's right, get them coins. Thank you
Speaker 1: all for joining Exactly Amada. Thank you for being part
Speaker 1: of this journey, this experience with me.
Speaker 2: Remember you can find us and share us on all
Speaker 2: your social media platforms, Exactly Amada. And remember, guys, this
Speaker 2: has been a production of Ihearts micros. Through that podcast
Speaker 2: at work for more podcasts from iHeart visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 2: Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 1: See you next time.