1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,119 Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of our Heart Radio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back 3 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: on the air. Welcome back to you. Got another Carefully 4 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,440 Speaker 1: Reckless episode with your girl Joss. Hilarious. I'm gonna jump 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: straight in, just fix my mess again. We got some 6 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: voice notes this time, y'all. Thank you, because I'm getting 7 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 1: tired to read y'all. Long ast synopsis. All right, y'all, 8 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: don't be spelling right or nothing. I keep telling you 9 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: all the proof read or send in your voice. But 10 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: I love y'all either way, so I guess I'm gonna 11 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:42,239 Speaker 1: just had to keep reading. Here we go. Hey, Jess, 12 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: I've been listening to your podcast. It's the very beginning, 13 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 1: and I've always wanted to send in something, but I 14 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,199 Speaker 1: just never had the courage. So today I'm doing it. 15 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: So I'm twenty three years old and I've been dealing 16 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: with the guy four five years now. Actually yes, they 17 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: made it years. We've been on and off. We somewhat 18 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 1: have a relationship, and I will break that down to you, 19 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,320 Speaker 1: but I believe me being young and um, I've accepted 20 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 1: this and allowed it to go on way longer than 21 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 1: it has. And I really think I know it's best, 22 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: but due to also doubted myself, I'm not sure. So 23 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: I really like advices on this. So the guy I've 24 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 1: been dating for the last five years talking to, I 25 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:31,040 Speaker 1: would say when I met him, initially, I was twenty 26 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 1: years old and by the time he was thirty eight 27 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 1: years old. So fast forward, I'm twenty three today and 28 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:42,720 Speaker 1: he's forty one. I know, huge huge age gap between 29 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,839 Speaker 1: the two of us. We've worked at that. That's really 30 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: never been a problem for me, the age thing, and 31 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 1: he's never been a problem from him. But relationship wise, 32 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: since day one, since I've known this man, he got 33 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: my number, we went out and then till I went 34 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: to his house and it's been like this every since. 35 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,640 Speaker 1: Like he called me every day, We call each other 36 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: every day. Then it went from him calling me baby 37 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:09,000 Speaker 1: pretty face, to telling me this is forever. So now 38 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: I'm believing in my head this is a relationship. This 39 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: man wants me forever, and you know, I should be 40 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: acting as if I want to be wanted forever. You know, 41 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,960 Speaker 1: I should do my wifely duties. Now, that's what I'm thinking. 42 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: So for the past five years, that's what I've been doing. 43 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 1: Although we don't live together. I'm at his house a lot. 44 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 1: He will come and get me and I'll be there 45 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: for maybe sometimes up to a month. I'll be you know, 46 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,320 Speaker 1: with him, or you know, whatever may be the case. 47 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: I am a mother, so you know, I have my 48 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: own schedule. Of course, I'm doing my thing on the 49 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: side as my mother. I've never you know, select on 50 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 1: my mother's skills to be with him. But this relationship 51 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: has taken a lot from me in my twenties. You know, 52 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: I've been only about him um and it's been feeling weird. 53 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 1: These are red flags that I know I should have 54 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 1: paid attention to a long time ago, but he has 55 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: filled my head up with so many excuses that I 56 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 1: thought it was normal. So I haven't met his mother, 57 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 1: I haven't met his sister. He only has one sip 58 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: where I've never met any of them. He doesn't post 59 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: me on social media. It was hard to get a 60 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: date out of this man. And literally, as I'm sitting 61 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: here telling you this story, like I know, I know, literally, yeah, 62 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: it's time for me to walk away fast. For five 63 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: years later, I've been sucking and scking this man. You know, 64 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: I've been doing all that to him, I've been cooking 65 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: and cleaning, and I come to his house and wash 66 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: his fucking walls and clean his fucking shower, and make 67 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: up dinner, bakeup cakes, like all of the above. And 68 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: I know I'm doing too much. And as a twenty 69 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: three year old, there's so much more. There's so much 70 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: more to be experienced in life. And why I said, 71 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: you know, it hasn't been a full blown relationship because 72 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: like I said, nobody knows we're in this relationship, literally 73 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: except for us, you know, and that seems weird in 74 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 1: the year of two. I just don't think it's okay too. 75 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,600 Speaker 1: I understand being private, but this is a secret. I'm 76 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: a secret. This is in privacy anymore. Anytime I brought 77 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 1: up the fact that i'd like to meet as parents, 78 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: we've never spend holidays together. Anytime I bring things like 79 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 1: that up, he tells me, I'm being childish. That's a 80 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: little ship and I need to get over that. But 81 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,520 Speaker 1: why is it important to me his family when his 82 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 1: mama don't really care to meet nobody else, She don't 83 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 1: want to meet no more women, things of that nature. 84 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,480 Speaker 1: But you're telling me that we're gonna be together forever. 85 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: You're even doing the things to you know, we're doing 86 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,719 Speaker 1: the things to make a baby here, you know. So 87 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: I know it's time to stop fooling around and to 88 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: just grow up. And although he's gonna tell me whatever 89 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: I need to hear to stay, I'm really ready to 90 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:05,359 Speaker 1: walk away. We had an actual talk yesterday and he 91 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,440 Speaker 1: told me finally that he wouldn't be able to marry me, 92 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 1: not right now at least, and I really feel like 93 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: I need to take that his face value and get 94 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: the funk away. Jess, help my mess aside. No, he 95 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: is a wealthy man and at this point he's a 96 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: shiny ass penny. Yes I said it, regardless of what 97 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: he has, or how good he loves, or why the 98 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: way he has treated me has been I feel like 99 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 1: mental mind gaze in that sick me, and I feel 100 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: like he's better than that, and I'm better than that, 101 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: and I should do us both of favorite and walk away. 102 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,280 Speaker 1: But Jess, I need you to straighten me up. I 103 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: need you to tell me this. So when I think 104 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:52,280 Speaker 1: about answering those calls again, when I felt like talking 105 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 1: to him again, no no, no no, no, we're not doing that. 106 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: I want to be done I need better. I want 107 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 1: to be a wife. I want to find my husband, 108 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 1: and I really do bad all about myself. It's how 109 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,960 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be your wife. So I just need 110 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: some encouraging words. Please, yes, thank you, So girl, I'm 111 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,359 Speaker 1: gonna beat you down, then I'm gonna build you up 112 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 1: and encourage you and seeing you on your way because 113 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: you asked for this, all right. First of all, you 114 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 1: already know because you kept saying it while you were 115 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 1: telling me. You know, you know what type of man 116 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 1: this is, you know, And he caught you very, very young. 117 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,559 Speaker 1: He caught you when you were eighteen. He was thirty eight. 118 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 1: What the funk are you doing? What a baby? Now? Listen, 119 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: I've done this as well. When I was sixteen, I 120 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:38,520 Speaker 1: was in a relationship with a thirty I think he 121 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,479 Speaker 1: was thirty eight too. I met this man when I 122 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: was four, saying he was thirty four. Yeah, he was 123 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 1: twenty years older than me, twenty years older than me 124 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: when I was sixteen. So I absolutely know exactly how 125 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: you feel. I know your pain. That ship makes you 126 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,600 Speaker 1: feel special. You know what I'm saying, especially in your 127 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 1: little young mind. I'm speaking to eighteen year old you 128 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: and your young mind or doing a damn thing cause 129 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: you gotta niggle that drive. And he older, he dies, 130 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 1: and he that, and he dies and he that, and 131 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: you know what that has done. It's kind of took 132 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,080 Speaker 1: you out of the dating pool to date your age, 133 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: or to date a little older than you until even 134 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 1: experience what peer love could be like. You didn't even 135 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: get to experience what you don't like. You know what 136 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: I'm saying, or what turns you off about an older guy, 137 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: because you ain't never been dating no younger guys, you 138 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Now, you said you have a baby, 139 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: and apparently that's not his baby, obviously, and I'm very 140 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: glad that it's not. So Apparently you you've been doing 141 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: some other fucking and sucking outside of this man and 142 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: I and listen, more power to you because you do 143 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 1: not need to be with him. You didn't have no 144 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: business band with him. He was eighteen. He didn't have 145 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 1: no business fucking praying on you when you were eighteen 146 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: years old. Now listen, this is something that he does. 147 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna say this because this is something that 148 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: the guy that I was dating when I was sixteen 149 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: did as well. You think you're the only one, and 150 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: you're not. He has a bunch of y'all little young girls. 151 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: And I think he also may be married as well. 152 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: He's probably bored and his married. He probably is never 153 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: gonna leave his wife or whoever the funk he got 154 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: at home, which is why you never see him on holidays. 155 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: But you are his fun now. He's been doing this 156 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: for a long time, so he knows how to keep 157 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,680 Speaker 1: up these relationships and make each one of y'all feel 158 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: like y'all are the priority. You said. He talks to 159 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: you every day, y'all flirt every day you're able to 160 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: see him. You just don't get to spend the times 161 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,240 Speaker 1: of the year that means the most to people usually, 162 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,160 Speaker 1: and that those are holidays, birthdays and stuff like that. 163 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: He's keeping you exactly where he wants you to be. 164 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: He's gonna tell you anything you want to here to 165 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,319 Speaker 1: get you to never leave, because that's exactly what he 166 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,439 Speaker 1: was doing when he met you. That's why he prays 167 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 1: on y'all so young. That's why he dates y'all so young. Now, 168 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: mind you, I'm saying y'all because you're not the only one. 169 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: That should be evident enough this is me straightening you up. 170 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: That should be evident enough for you to be like, oh, yeah, 171 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: I'm done. Yeah you're not his only little young baby. 172 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: And while he's not old enough to be a sugar daddy, 173 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: oh he on his way, and I can say you're 174 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,079 Speaker 1: a sugar baby. He may not be a sugar daddy, 175 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 1: but baby, you are a sugar baby. Believe that that's 176 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,959 Speaker 1: what it is. I think you know what to do. 177 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,840 Speaker 1: And I know you said I want to be a wife. 178 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 1: I want to be married, just I want, I want, 179 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: I want, But not at the expense of your hearts, 180 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: not at the expense of who you are, your mind, 181 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 1: your dignity. Girl, do not rob yourself. You're dodging a 182 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: bullet leaving that ship alone. You're doing him a favor 183 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: and your favor, and his wife a favor, or his 184 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: girlfriend a favor. You're doing a favor for all three 185 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: of y'all at this point. But the fact that you've 186 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 1: been cooking and cleaning and like, this motherfucker is training 187 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,360 Speaker 1: you to be a wife that you'll never be so 188 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,839 Speaker 1: actually trained you for somebody else, you know, because you're 189 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 1: gonna make someone a very lucky husband one day. It 190 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: just cannot be that, nigga. It cannot and it won't be. 191 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,319 Speaker 1: If it's anything I can do in my power, I 192 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: will not let you do that. Ship girl, Hell no, 193 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,520 Speaker 1: you're twenty three. You're supposed to be worrying about what 194 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,959 Speaker 1: fucking career choice you want to pick. You supposed to 195 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: be worried about, you know, like, come on now and 196 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,160 Speaker 1: then you and your early twenties, we are in different times. 197 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 1: Now you're supposed to be thinking about starting the fucking business, 198 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,559 Speaker 1: going back to school if that's what you want to do. 199 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,079 Speaker 1: You're supposed to be worrying about other ship, how you 200 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: can get ahead in life, how you can be setting 201 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: yourself up so you can be well off in your thirties. Okay, 202 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 1: you're supposed to be going to parties and ship. You're 203 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 1: supposed to be dating around, not waiting for old ass 204 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: man to leave another woman, because that's exactly what you 205 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 1: will be waiting for, And you don't even know that's 206 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: what you will be signing up for. Don't nobody know 207 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: about you, and ain't nobody going on about you. Imagine 208 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 1: him bringing your little young ass to his mother. Imagine 209 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 1: that he wouldn't do that if he wasn't with another woman. 210 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 1: You're too young, I would feel Harrid was a forty 211 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 1: one year old man bringing my twenty three year old 212 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:51,839 Speaker 1: girlfriend to meet my mother. What it's nothing that he 213 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: can even learn from you. A relationship is given, take everything. 214 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: It's benefit for both everything. I want a man I 215 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:00,439 Speaker 1: can learn from, but I also want my man to 216 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:03,200 Speaker 1: learn from me. It ain't nothing that he can learn 217 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 1: from your little ass. Nothing. I'm not saying that you're dense, 218 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:10,679 Speaker 1: or you're stupid, or you're not intelligent or anything. No uneducated. 219 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: That's not to say that he has been twenty three before. 220 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,960 Speaker 1: And I understand you're very mature dealing with his old ass, 221 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: but you still can't teach him ship. That's why he 222 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: wants to control the situation, because you know he manipulates you. 223 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: You can't teach him anything. You're not even in control 224 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:27,600 Speaker 1: of the situation. But you're gonna take control. You're gonna 225 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:30,959 Speaker 1: leave that ass. That's how you get revenge, that's how 226 00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:34,400 Speaker 1: you control. You leave it and let him deal with 227 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 1: any other little young girl he's gonna deal with. Let 228 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 1: him sell them drink to somebody else. Okay, seriously, raise 229 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:45,320 Speaker 1: your baby and date date. I don't feel bad telling 230 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,719 Speaker 1: young girls data around, data around, How the funk? You 231 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,679 Speaker 1: know what you want if you've never had nothing to 232 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,040 Speaker 1: compare it to? How the fun? You know you're comparing 233 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: everybody this old ass man girl. What somebody gonna meet 234 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 1: you and rock your world? Sweep you off your fucking feet, beautiful, 235 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 1: don't let it go? All right? I love you, like 236 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 1: literally like I love you. Hold up, Hold up? I 237 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 1: know the ship getting good. But listen to just a 238 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: couple of seconds of a commercial with you love me. 239 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: You'll listen moving on. This is an update, and then 240 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: she has another problem and she would like for me 241 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,679 Speaker 1: to fix. Listen pages. I was just listening to you 242 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,160 Speaker 1: on the Note for Sure podcast, and it reminded me 243 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: that I forgot to actually fucking update you. But I 244 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: listened to your advice, and you know what, I literally 245 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 1: put my pride aside for no reason. I had always, 246 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:35,199 Speaker 1: you know, wanted to hit them up, but I was 247 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: just scared or whatever. And I once I heard you say, 248 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: you know, either pray for new friends to come into 249 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,839 Speaker 1: your life, or hit them up because you missed them 250 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 1: or whatever, I literally was crying listening to it, because, 251 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,319 Speaker 1: like I genuinely really missed them, like it's it's like 252 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: a part of me is grieving because I missed him 253 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,079 Speaker 1: so much. So I did what you said, and I 254 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 1: texted both of them, and one of them was like, 255 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: she was like awkwardly texting me as if like why 256 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: are texting me? Or like what did you here? So 257 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,360 Speaker 1: I just stopped texting her, and the other one left 258 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: me on red. So I just want to thank you 259 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 1: for taking the time out to listen to my story 260 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,439 Speaker 1: and help me with that. And I'm gonna pray for 261 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 1: some new friends because the hosts it's not ship. Thank you. 262 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 1: I love you by exactly, baby, I love you too, 263 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 1: and listen, that's no love loss there. If you want 264 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: to continue to pray for those ladies, you can. If 265 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 1: you just want to leave it there, leave it there, 266 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,240 Speaker 1: don't reach out again. You missed them so much and 267 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: you love them still with everything in you because you 268 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: guys grew up together. Those were your first real friends. 269 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,199 Speaker 1: But people grow up and certain people evolved and some 270 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 1: people don't. When you grow, everybody won't grow with you. Unfortunately, 271 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 1: everybody grows at their own pace. Those girls are still 272 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 1: stuck in the motherfucking hood fighting and ship. They want 273 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 1: some zoos network ship. Now you want some HBO ship. Baby, 274 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 1: go ahead, keep on going, keep on fucking going. Okay, 275 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 1: no love loss, and don't even regret hitting them, because 276 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,439 Speaker 1: maybe that's the closure that you fucking need it. A 277 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 1: lot of people don't realize closure doesn't have to always 278 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 1: be positive. Closure doesn't have to always bring you back together, 279 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:11,719 Speaker 1: because if it's closure, then it's not closed. You're reopening, 280 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:15,839 Speaker 1: you're rehashing. No closure is exactly what the funk you got? 281 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 1: All right, left me already? All right, I'll reached out. 282 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,480 Speaker 1: I love you, guys. I'm gonna love y'all from a distance. 283 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: That's it. If you still choose to. But you said it, 284 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: I didn't them holes ain't ship and it wasn't ship before. 285 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 1: But you loved them. Y'all had a relationship, you know, 286 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 1: you had friendship, and it's nothing wrong with that. That's it. 287 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: They just gave you the closure that you needed. Now 288 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 1: you have another story. I'm gonna play hey, just so 289 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: I'm back, and I just want to get your advice 290 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 1: on this situation to see if it's really the deal 291 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 1: I'm making it or if I'm overreacting. So to give 292 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: you a little background history. I let my man about 293 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,120 Speaker 1: four years ago and we've been in a relationship for 294 00:14:56,480 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 1: three years together. We have one kid, but he came 295 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: with one and then I had one, so we have 296 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:07,560 Speaker 1: three kids all together. The relationship is really well, It's 297 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: a typical relationship. We argue some days, but we're always 298 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 1: good most of the time, so that's really good. He's 299 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: a good man. He's good to me. He really does 300 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 1: a lot for me, for my son. We all love him, 301 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: but I kind of feel like, in a way, he 302 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,560 Speaker 1: belittles me, and it's honestly starting to funk with me. 303 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 1: He's a few years older than me, like about five 304 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: years older than me, so he has some more experience 305 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 1: in life, and I never take away from him. He 306 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 1: did like three years in jail, so he has a 307 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: lot of knowledge. Now. The problem is when it comes 308 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:48,120 Speaker 1: to me expressing anything to him, I feel like he 309 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: makes it seem as if I'm dumb. He belittles any 310 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:56,200 Speaker 1: knowledge that I talked to him about, and it's kind 311 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 1: of starting to put me in a place where I 312 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,080 Speaker 1: feel like, you know, I don't want to be with 313 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 1: this man because he doesn't look at me as smart, 314 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: like sometimes when I explained things to him, it's you know, easy, 315 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 1: but other times it's like he's trying to belittle what 316 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 1: I'm saying or my point of view. So for instance, 317 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: I was talking to him because he's in jail now. 318 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 1: And now I didn't meet him in jail. He just 319 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 1: with the jail this year, So don't do that. But 320 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 1: so for instance, he's in jail, so of course he 321 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,960 Speaker 1: doesn't have any access to any internet or anything. And 322 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 1: he said that the TV is always on sports. So 323 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: I was telling him about the ten year old boy 324 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 1: who killed his mom and Missouri, and I was telling him, 325 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 1: you know, what the news reporter said. I constantly stated 326 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 1: what the news said or what the article said, or 327 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,760 Speaker 1: what this, this and that said. And then it's like 328 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:47,640 Speaker 1: I was like, you know, a little bit emotional because 329 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 1: I'm a mom myself and I have two kids, and 330 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 1: I feel like it was just like heartbreaking as a mother. 331 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,080 Speaker 1: So I was talking to him about it. I was 332 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 1: really vulnerable. It was really bother me, something that still 333 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,920 Speaker 1: bothers me because it's really new. But it's like he 334 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,920 Speaker 1: brushed off how I was feeling, and he was just saying, 335 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,680 Speaker 1: you know, will I don't know what happened, but I 336 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,880 Speaker 1: don't believe everything that be on the news. I feel 337 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 1: like people believe anything somebody tell them, and I feel 338 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 1: like it's always like that. Even when he explains things 339 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,760 Speaker 1: to me, he starts talking by saying, well, I know 340 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,800 Speaker 1: you don't know, or I know you don't think like this, 341 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,840 Speaker 1: or you know. He basically just always tries to make 342 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 1: it seem like I'm this a dumb as bitch, and 343 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: it's honestly starting to bother me. Like I told you, 344 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,399 Speaker 1: We've been together three years, so this is three years 345 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 1: of this ship been built up. We have talked about 346 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,560 Speaker 1: him untiple of times, and I have told him that 347 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: I would prefer him not to say those type of 348 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,920 Speaker 1: words before we're discussing anything. Don't tell me, will you 349 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: know I don't think like this or you know, because 350 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 1: you don't know what the funk I know, you don't 351 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: know how the funk I think. And it's really starting 352 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 1: to bother me to the point where I'm starting to 353 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: for a lot of love with him because I feel 354 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 1: like he doesn't look at me as a black educated 355 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:11,040 Speaker 1: woman that I carried myself to be. And usually people 356 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: break up with people for cheating or being abusive, and 357 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 1: it's literally none of that. And that's why, Like I've 358 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 1: asked one other person besides you, and they said that, 359 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,560 Speaker 1: you know, it's just how he is because he was 360 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,680 Speaker 1: in prison. You know, a lot of people who went 361 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: to prison before are really educated because they don't have 362 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:32,040 Speaker 1: anything to do but read and learn upon things, which 363 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 1: is also true. He is a you know, educated black man. 364 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 1: He's highly educated, and I give him that props, but 365 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,920 Speaker 1: I just feel like when it comes to me, it's 366 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 1: nothing like he belittles me all the time. No matter 367 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:47,639 Speaker 1: what we're talking about. I always feel like he just 368 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,639 Speaker 1: puts me down when it comes to being educated, and 369 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,360 Speaker 1: it's starting to bother me. When I do tell him 370 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 1: stuff like what's bothering me or what he's saying that 371 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,399 Speaker 1: he shouldn't say. He he does apologize, and he honestly 372 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 1: takes my feel is in consideration for the moment, and 373 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 1: he might not say it for about a week. But 374 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 1: then it's like when we're talking about something else that's 375 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 1: going on in social media or for our future, he 376 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 1: always mentions that, you know, I know you don't think 377 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,720 Speaker 1: like this, and it's just starting to like annoy the 378 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,159 Speaker 1: hell out of me, and I don't want to be 379 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: with him. So I just want to come to you 380 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 1: and see if I'm over reacting. Is it not a 381 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,239 Speaker 1: big deal, Because, like I said, I carry myself as 382 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,080 Speaker 1: an educated black woman. I am young. I'm only twenty 383 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,200 Speaker 1: one and he is twenty six, so we do have 384 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: like a little bit of an age difference. And I 385 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: know that could be not a big deal to most 386 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,680 Speaker 1: because I'm considered younger to him and I haven't been 387 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,440 Speaker 1: through that much in life. But I still feel like 388 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,680 Speaker 1: I carry myself well and I would like other people 389 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,879 Speaker 1: to notice how educated I am, especially my man. If 390 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 1: nobody else noticed, then I would at least want my 391 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,240 Speaker 1: man to know, you know, hey, I have a beautiful 392 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 1: black woman who is also educated. It like, I don't 393 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: want him to just think that, you know, I'm just 394 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 1: dumb bitch. And even if he doesn't think it, because 395 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: he always says that's not what I'm thinking, that's not 396 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 1: what I mean, I just don't like the tone when 397 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: we're talking, to the point where I have just stopped 398 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 1: talking to him about ship that I know he would 399 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 1: respond in that type of manner about. So, yeah, girl, 400 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,200 Speaker 1: I just want to know, am I OVERREACTA Is it 401 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 1: not a big deal? Am I doing too much? You know? 402 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,119 Speaker 1: Like I said, we have been together for three years, 403 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 1: but I'm just annoyed as hell. Now we got a 404 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 1: commercial and if you click off of this podcast, I 405 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 1: swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. Okay, No, I 406 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,440 Speaker 1: don't think you're overreacting at all. I don't, and I 407 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 1: think the rest of the listeners could agree with me 408 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,560 Speaker 1: as well. I don't think you're overreacting. Um. I think 409 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,920 Speaker 1: this is something within himself. He's not happy in his 410 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 1: life where he is. Anytime he has to just keep 411 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 1: telling you you don't think like that, or I don't 412 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,320 Speaker 1: listen to everything that happens out of the Obviously you 413 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,480 Speaker 1: don't listen, and obviously you don't know everything thing or 414 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: you would know how to keep that ass out of jail. 415 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 1: About that, you know, now, listen, while people do go 416 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: to jail, and that's where a lot of men and 417 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 1: women both are taught a lot of things because right 418 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,679 Speaker 1: they don't really have a lot of things that they 419 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 1: can do a lot of activities that can get into 420 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 1: you know, they're in jail. They're in prison, so they 421 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 1: do read a lot of people do read, and they 422 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 1: and they educate themselves, and they even have classes in prisons, 423 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,639 Speaker 1: you know, not jails so much, but in prisons, you know, 424 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: they got classes you can take and all that type 425 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,920 Speaker 1: of stuff. I'm not putting anything past how educated he 426 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:32,960 Speaker 1: is or not, but I also feel like that he 427 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: plays on the fact that you are young, five years 428 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,919 Speaker 1: younger than he is. And I feel like you're kind 429 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,920 Speaker 1: of letting that play on you as well, because I've 430 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 1: even heard you say, and I have really been through 431 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: much in life. No, no, no, no no. I think 432 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,920 Speaker 1: you're letting him make you think that way of yourself. 433 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:50,439 Speaker 1: You maybe have gone through different ship than he has 434 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,520 Speaker 1: gone through, for sure, because he is in and out 435 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: of jail. Baby, you're not. But that doesn't go to 436 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: say you haven't been through anything. You know. Don't talk 437 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,920 Speaker 1: like that, don't you know? And it is not what 438 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 1: he says the way he says it. You know, I 439 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 1: do understand that that could be a point as well, 440 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,080 Speaker 1: because you're just like, look, don't tell me what the 441 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,440 Speaker 1: funk I know. He can't tell you what you know. 442 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: And yes, you do want to be supportive. You do 443 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: want to feel like your man is confident in you, 444 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,360 Speaker 1: just as you're a confident in yourself. I am a beautiful, black, 445 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,359 Speaker 1: educated woman, and yeah, I have a queen by my side. 446 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 1: She's smart, she knows some ship. You know, we both 447 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 1: don't know everything, but we know a little about a lot. 448 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 1: And that's what I always say. I don't know everything, 449 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 1: but I know a little about a lot. You know 450 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:37,640 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So I don't want to ever tell 451 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,960 Speaker 1: someone to leave someone unless they're being physically harmed or 452 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:45,639 Speaker 1: mentally abused. But I do feel like he has to 453 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 1: take a break from the relationship and get his own 454 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 1: self together mentally. There's something he's battling and something that 455 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,919 Speaker 1: is weighing on his heart and over his head about 456 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,440 Speaker 1: his own life. I strongly feel that, Um, I don't 457 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 1: know what that is. You've been with him for three years. 458 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 1: You've been with him longer, so you would know. Before 459 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,680 Speaker 1: y'all god together. I imagine that you guys were just friends. 460 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,720 Speaker 1: So I mean, I can't assume I don't. I don't know, 461 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 1: But you know him more than I know him. You 462 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,040 Speaker 1: know him more than the listeners know him. You would 463 00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:16,920 Speaker 1: know if there was something that he was suffering with, 464 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,640 Speaker 1: or that was something that he was just mentally battling, 465 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 1: and unfortunately, we as girlfriends can't always help our men 466 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 1: out with that. They have to get professional help, they 467 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 1: have to actually go and seek help on their own 468 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,520 Speaker 1: because they're just running away from their problems. They're masking 469 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: their problems and then internally shunning them, like internally shutting down, 470 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,359 Speaker 1: and then projecting what they're going through on others. And 471 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 1: that's not good either, because now you're blaming everyone else 472 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,160 Speaker 1: for for your issues. I feel that's what he does, 473 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 1: and I can bet you it's very very difficult for him, 474 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: or very rare that he accepts accountability for ship that 475 00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: he does, or you know, just anything that he's Why 476 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: he's in jail, why you guys argue, why he treats 477 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,879 Speaker 1: you the way that he does, things like that. I 478 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 1: think you should take a break from a relationship, have 479 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 1: him get himself together. He and jail now shift he 480 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: got nothing but time and books to read. Get yourself together? 481 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,879 Speaker 1: Why he on inside and he needed to get himself together. 482 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,639 Speaker 1: Why he's away from you, and then revisit it. But 483 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,439 Speaker 1: I don't I don't think that it's really healthy, especially 484 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,000 Speaker 1: if you've been in this for three years and it's 485 00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: just now starting to funk with you. Oh baby, listen, 486 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: you're young. You should be doing so many other things 487 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,520 Speaker 1: right now instead of trying to pick a man's fucking 488 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 1: brain apart to see why he doesn't think you're smart. 489 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:39,080 Speaker 1: Excuse me, You're twenty one, all right. Get yourself together 490 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:44,480 Speaker 1: and hopefully he gets himself together. Check back in with me, girl, listen. 491 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,400 Speaker 1: That is the end of this episode, y'all. I love 492 00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 1: you all so much. I really love what I do. 493 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,160 Speaker 1: I love what Carefully Reckless has formed into. I love 494 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,240 Speaker 1: that it's a very therapeutic space. It's a very safe 495 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 1: space for my listeners. It's a safe space for my 496 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,399 Speaker 1: girls and my guys who are sending me their situations 497 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: that they need to help on, that they need me 498 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 1: to fix, you know, or try to fix. And I'm 499 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 1: just happy that I can be of any assistance to 500 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 1: any of you that I have helped, and I'm sorry 501 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: for those who I haven't. But make sure you tune 502 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 1: into Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday. Tuned into Reckless 503 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 1: Discussions this evening as well as seven pm only on 504 00:25:20,119 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 1: YouTube and in my deepest pan boys piece. Carefully Reckless 505 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 1: is a production of i heart Radio and The Black Effect. 506 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,359 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i 507 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,960 Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to 508 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:44,800 Speaker 1: your favorite shows.