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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My parents refuse to accept my odd jobs. They think

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Speaker 3: it's not real. That's your dream, Dad, not mine.

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Speaker 4: I am seventeen Mail and incoming senior in high school,

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Speaker 4: already accepted into a pretty good college with the large scholarship.

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Speaker 3: I'm a programmer and I'm dan good at it.

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Speaker 4: I started out taking odd jobs around the internet, mostly

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Speaker 4: coding Minecraft plugins nice, but have evolved into making stuff

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Speaker 4: for a few select people on a regular basis while

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Speaker 4: still taking odd jobs and coding Minecraft plugins.

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Speaker 3: It's fun.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Generic Throwaway twenty eight,

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Speaker 4: twenty seven, and if you want to submit your own story,

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Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay story Time sepreadit.

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Speaker 2: So.

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Speaker 4: My older brother, twenty five, Mail is done with college

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Speaker 4: and worked his butt off during summer's between his junior

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Speaker 4: year of high school to sophomore year of college, making

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Speaker 4: crap wages between seven fifty and nine dollars an hour.

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Speaker 3: He is rather successful now and is getting married next month. Yay.

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Speaker 4: My parents want me to turn out just like him

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Speaker 4: and be successful, and the only way they think that

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Speaker 4: that will happen is if I get a normal job

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Speaker 4: working forty hours a week.

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Speaker 3: To lay out some numbers, I work anywhere between twenty

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Speaker 3: and eighty hours per week on my stuff, depends on

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Speaker 3: what I'm doing, how many jobs I can land, and

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Speaker 3: what I feel like doing and averaging it all out.

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Speaker 3: I make less than twelve dollars an hour. It's usually

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Speaker 3: around seventeen to twenty dollars an hour and tops out

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Speaker 3: around thirty two dollars an hour. It's usually around seventeen

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Speaker 3: to twenty dollars an hour, and it tops out around

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Speaker 3: thirty two dollars an hour. I work in the comfort

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Speaker 3: of my own home.

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Speaker 4: My parents believe that all I do on the computer

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Speaker 4: is play video games, and all this money I'm making

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Speaker 4: is imaginary, as they say, nobody would pay a kid

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Speaker 4: that much money to do dumb stuff. They think that

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Speaker 4: what I do is imaginary, and then I'm making it

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Speaker 4: all up and it's just a cover for my video

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Speaker 4: game regular use. Even after I show them my rapidly

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Speaker 4: increasing bake account hovering around the ten k mark by now.

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Speaker 3: Wait, I'm sorry, where did they think you're getting that money? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I don't understand.

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Speaker 4: Once it's in the bank, it's not imaginary. Yeah, and

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Speaker 4: plenty of time on Steam. They still refuse to believe me.

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Speaker 4: They think anything done on the computer is a waste

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Speaker 4: of time and that it's just a gaming Because I

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Speaker 4: own a gaming computer, a rig I built myself almost

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Speaker 4: five years ago that can hardly even play modern games.

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Speaker 4: They are making me get a job at the local

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Speaker 4: fast food restaurant where they have a friend who owns.

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Speaker 4: I'll make seven fifty an hour and have to work

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Speaker 4: long night shifts, store closes at one am, and I

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Speaker 4: am not super into that.

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Speaker 5: That's insane. Yeah, I don't understand insane.

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Speaker 4: I feel like usually when you hear parents being like this,

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Speaker 4: well I don't know if that's a real job, like

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Speaker 4: going into the arts or something like that.

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Speaker 3: Once they start making money, they usually are coming around.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, it's not happening. No, it's like you.

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Speaker 5: Want your child to make seven to fifty and really

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Speaker 5: not learn any kind of skills that they can take

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Speaker 5: anywhere else. Yeah, you know, they have ten K in

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Speaker 5: their bank account.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so making what was it, seventeen to thirty two

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Speaker 3: dollars an hour?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is like a textbook, like, well, I couldn't

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Speaker 2: do that when I was younger, and you've got to

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Speaker 2: learn what I learned when I was your age. And

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Speaker 2: that's why I'm gonna make you work the worst job possible.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, crazy.

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Speaker 4: It's like they say that I need money for college

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Speaker 4: and a real job is a necessity, even though i

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Speaker 4: sometimes make five times that amount and I'm going to

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Speaker 4: school for computer science. Since I've been refusing, they have

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Speaker 4: cracked down on me, saying that I don't get out enough.

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Speaker 4: I totally do as I'm either working or going out

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Speaker 4: with friends, and that I am addicted to video games.

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Speaker 4: My Steam account has four hours. In the last two weeks,

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Speaker 4: they started limiting the amount of time I am allowed

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Speaker 4: to use my own computer. Today they made me get

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Speaker 4: off after two hours of work. I had a friend

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Speaker 4: take me to the local library and I took my

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Speaker 4: laptop and got some work done. But it's ruining my business.

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Speaker 4: I know I could easily move out at age eighteen.

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Speaker 4: I think it might even be legal at seventeen In

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Speaker 4: my area. But I turn eighteen in less than two

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Speaker 4: months anyway, and support myself perfectly fine, But I love

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Speaker 4: my parents and I don't want to pull that crap

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Speaker 4: unless it's absolutely necessary. It would destroy my parents. And

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Speaker 4: I come from a super tight, super religious family where

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Speaker 4: the last kid who moved out on their parents isn't

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Speaker 4: even acknowledged by my grandparents anymore. No invites to Thanksgiving,

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Speaker 4: Easter or Christmas eve dinners even took them off the

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Speaker 4: picture wall. So moving out probably isn't the smartest idea

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Speaker 4: if I ever want to see or talk to my

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Speaker 4: extended family ever again. Please, how do I show my

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Speaker 4: parents that I am a functioning member of society, that

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Speaker 4: I am making money for college, and.

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Speaker 3: That using the computer is a real job.

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Speaker 4: And it's to all the people saying that they should

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Speaker 4: see the bank balances and believe me. From some source

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Speaker 4: they learned that you can change stuff from the inspect

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Speaker 4: element tool in browsers.

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Speaker 2: Okay, buddy, hey, OK, withdraw all your money.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, now I was.

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Speaker 5: Gonna say, take them to the bank, literally, go to

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Speaker 5: the physical b say hey, I understand you guys, don't

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Speaker 5: believe me. Let's go to the bank together. Gotta ask

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Speaker 5: them how much I have there. Yeah, they're gonna tell

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Speaker 5: you the same thing that I'm showing here.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Or try to like talk to them about like

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Speaker 4: what do you think I'm gonna go to college for them?

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Speaker 3: Unless that backfires and they're just like, yeah, you shouldn't

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Speaker 3: be going to college.

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Speaker 2: You should be going to those fast food school.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Try to explain to them and show them all these

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Speaker 4: jobs that you can have by being on the computer, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: what even in just corporate America, you're on the computer

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Speaker 4: a lot, whether it's like emails or whatever.

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Speaker 3: But still, how do they know.

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Speaker 5: What you're doing, you know, unless it's like completely like

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Speaker 5: only manual labor.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna have some sort of computer element. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 4: Also, I think part of it is that they are

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Speaker 4: unwilling to accept that I am successful as a seventeen

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Speaker 4: year old kid when both of them worked crap jobs

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Speaker 4: and so did my brother. Edit number two. Also, by

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Speaker 4: moving out, I don't mean going to college. I mean

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Speaker 4: after I turn eighteen, leaving the house and basically going

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Speaker 4: out on my own my brother and all my older cousins.

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Speaker 4: I would come home every break and summer. Family is

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Speaker 4: really important. To my family and at number three wasn't

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Speaker 4: expecting this sort of response. My inbox is full and

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Speaker 4: I want to comment on each one of the comments,

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Speaker 4: at least the top level ones. I'll try to make

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Speaker 4: my way down this afternoon. I have some work to

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Speaker 4: do this morning in god zero.

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Speaker 3: Sleep last night thinking about this. At at number four,

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Speaker 3: thanks for all the responses.

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Speaker 4: The general consensus is to move out, and reading some

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Speaker 4: of your comments, I'm a little more open to it. Yes,

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Speaker 4: I know I need to pay my taxes, working on

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Speaker 4: that with my friend's parents, who are accountants. Since I

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Speaker 4: keep organized and extensive records, it should be rather simple.

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Speaker 2: And we do have a full update Tooee.

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Speaker 3: Let's freaking roll into it, shall we? All Right?

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Speaker 4: So I turned eighteen about a week ago, and a

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Speaker 4: bit has happened since my last post.

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Speaker 3: Things I've done one, I moved out. Oh wow, my

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Speaker 3: parents refuse to understand me or my line of work.

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Speaker 3: I haven't worked a second at that fast food restaurant.

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Speaker 3: I've spent the last three weeks or so without any

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Speaker 3: access to a computer.

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Speaker 4: Apparently it was my parents' way of punishing me for

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Speaker 4: disobeying them. Right now, I am on rocky terms with them.

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Speaker 4: They don't support me moving out, and I'm living with

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Speaker 4: my friend, who is a sophomore in college and has

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Speaker 4: his own apartment. Two, i lost about half of my

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Speaker 4: recurring clients due to dropping off the map for three weeks.

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Speaker 4: I'm in the process of restoring some of them. Others

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Speaker 4: don't want to work with me anymore. By the end

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Speaker 4: of this week, I should have around seventy five percent

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Speaker 4: of my original client base.

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Speaker 3: So I'm a little on money for a bit.

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Speaker 2: That sucks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's really upsetting. Number Three.

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Speaker 4: I did my taxes thanks to all that advice. My

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Speaker 4: friend's parents were live savers here. It took way longer

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Speaker 4: than I thought, but since I kept thorough records, it

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Speaker 4: could have been far worse. It's all been sorted out

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Speaker 4: now and I'm glad that was pointed out to me.

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Speaker 4: So basically, now, my family effing hates me. They think

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Speaker 4: I abandoned my family to go off and do god

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Speaker 4: knows what.

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Speaker 3: I've called.

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Speaker 4: My grandparents, uncles, and even my cousins refused to talk

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Speaker 4: to me. As previously stated in my family, family is important,

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Speaker 4: so I'm not really surprised by them.

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Speaker 3: Go find that family member.

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Speaker 5: They already cut off, hang out with that person.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, and then whenever another one, just.

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Speaker 5: Keep adding and then you have a dueling family.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, same family, but all the cool ones exactly.

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Speaker 4: The only people who will talk to me are my brother,

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Speaker 4: who secretly supports my decision, his wife, and my one

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Speaker 4: cousin who was also excommunicated from the family. There you go,

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Speaker 4: right now. I live at my friend's apartment with another guy.

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Speaker 4: I pay for one fourth of the rent and provide

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Speaker 4: personal tutoring for their computer science courses. I started senior year. Technically,

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Speaker 4: I am not going to the high school I was

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Speaker 4: out earlier, though. Turns out I only really needed to

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Speaker 4: take one more class before I could graduate from my

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Speaker 4: high school, so I'm taking that class online now and

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Speaker 4: will technically graduate in October. It's slightly convoluted, but it

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Speaker 4: was enough for the college that accepted me to grant

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Speaker 4: me early entrants, so I start there in January with

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Speaker 4: my full ride still intact. Like I said, I lost

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Speaker 4: around half of my recurring clients, but the money is

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Speaker 4: still there and not nearly as busy as I was before.

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Speaker 4: But I still have stuff to do, so my financial

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Speaker 4: status is all right.

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Speaker 3: My family is what's un alive.

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Speaker 4: There is a little bit more to the story, but

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Speaker 4: a lot of has happened, a lot has changed.

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Speaker 3: What do we think about this?

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Speaker 5: The thing is, at the end of the day, your

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Speaker 5: family members do not care about family, as Dakota said,

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Speaker 5: care about control over actual genuine love. Yeah, And if

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Speaker 5: you have family members who are not going to support

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Speaker 5: the things that you love that are I mean, even

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Speaker 5: if they're not necessarily super lucrative at the moment, but

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Speaker 5: especially when they are lucrative and they are the things

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Speaker 5: that you enjoy doing and they just can't support you

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Speaker 5: for that, you have to create some distance because they

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Speaker 5: should not be standing in the way of what you

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Speaker 5: want to do exactly.

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Speaker 3: And I mean, I think it's still worth a shot,

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Speaker 3: you know, to still call individual people and still check

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Speaker 3: up on them and stuff and try to have one

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Speaker 3: on one conversations rather it being like a whole US

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Speaker 3: versus them kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And there is a little bit more to the story,

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Speaker 3: So let's hit it.

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Speaker 4: I decided to move out about a month ago and

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Speaker 4: made plans with my friend, but only told my parents

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Speaker 4: the night before. In hindsight, it was a weeder move,

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Speaker 4: but I was afraid of what might have happened if

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Speaker 4: I told them earlier. When I left with my suitcase

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Speaker 4: the next day, my parents physically attempted to stop me.

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Speaker 4: I ended up having to leave with nothing, no clothes,

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Speaker 4: no computer. I was unable to move my stuff out.

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Speaker 4: Since then, my parents have refused to let me in

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Speaker 4: the house to get it. I'm not sure what has

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Speaker 4: happened to my stuff, most importantly my computer. Luckily, all

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Speaker 4: of my stuff has been backed up and restored to

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Speaker 4: my new setup, which is a bit more portable. It's tough,

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Speaker 4: but I think I made the right decision, and that

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Speaker 4: is the end.

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Speaker 3: Of that story.

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Speaker 5: My parents won't let me move out yet because I'm

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Speaker 5: not done cooking yet let her cook.

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Speaker 4: So.

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Speaker 5: I have generalized anxiety disorder, which disrupted a lot of

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Speaker 5: my life, and naturally, my parents are extremely protective of me.

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00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,280
Speaker 5: I would get panic attacks, go through extremely bad relationships,

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Speaker 5: and worry over nonsensical things. They've told me all my

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Speaker 5: life not to worry about getting a job and to

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Speaker 5: just let them pay for things. By the way, this

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Speaker 5: comes from anxiety. Maybe moving and if you want to

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Speaker 5: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 5: Storytime separate it, so I would feel pretty guilty about this,

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Speaker 5: especially since my parents were always giving money to my

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Speaker 5: bio dad to take care of my severely autistic brother,

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Speaker 5: and to my older sister who has a kid and

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Speaker 5: has terrible money issues of her own from her own

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Speaker 5: screw ups. She crashes cars, got fired from work all

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Speaker 5: the time, and more so, every chance I got, I

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Speaker 5: would try to get a job, but my parents would

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Speaker 5: always talk me out of it, saying I'm not worried

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Speaker 5: and that they would take care of it. I was

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Speaker 5: in high school, so I didn't have much free time anyway.

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Speaker 5: This was fine when I was a teenager, but now

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Speaker 5: I'm twenty three. I'm constantly driving between campuses and my internship,

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Speaker 5: while also living an active social life and participating in

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Speaker 5: the speech and debate team, which gives me a grant

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Speaker 5: that covers half the tuition. I make straight a's despite

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Speaker 5: any trouble I run into, and just today found out

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Speaker 5: that since I turned twenty four in September, I qualify

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Speaker 5: for a PELL grant that will cover my tuition.

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Speaker 3: Nice not to.

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Speaker 5: Mention, I am only six classes away from graduating with

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Speaker 5: my BA. My anxiety is also ten times better and

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Speaker 5: I feel extremely accomplished. Even my speech coaches have told

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Speaker 5: me they're so proud of how far I've come.

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Speaker 3: Oh, that's amazing. Cuss.

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Speaker 5: But every summer during my college years, I would try

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Speaker 5: to find a job and my parents would make me quit.

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Speaker 5: I only succeeded in keeping one job at a retail store,

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Speaker 5: and they decided to push me to babysit my brother

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Speaker 5: so much I had to quit for the family. After

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Speaker 5: I quit my babysitting duties, suspiciously subsided. I am only

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Speaker 5: allowed two hundred dollars a month for food expenses and gas,

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Speaker 5: and since I go to school every day back and

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Speaker 5: forth in between my internship, this isn't enough to sustain myself.

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Speaker 5: And tried to bargain for more. They said I need

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Speaker 5: a budget. I offered to get a job. They say,

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Speaker 5: absolutely not. Thing is this is my last year. My

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Speaker 5: tuition is being paid for myself, and I only take

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00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:55,400
Speaker 5: three classes a semester. Now this would be the perfect

301
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Speaker 5: time to get a job, to save up some money,

302
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Speaker 5: and to move out and transition to true Indians. I

303
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,480
Speaker 5: also have an amazing, loving boyfriend who wants to take

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Speaker 5: the next step and have me move in with him.

305
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,520
Speaker 5: I'm delighted, but my parents one hundred percent do not approve.

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Speaker 5: Despite him being so polite and making so much effort

307
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,280
Speaker 5: to get to know them, he brought my little brother

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Speaker 5: two expensive Transformer toys and didn't receive any thank you

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Speaker 5: from them at all, much less bother to even talk

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Speaker 5: to him. I feel so discouraged. I tried hinting that

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Speaker 5: I want to leave, but they keep saying weird stuff

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Speaker 5: like you're not done cooking yet, and how I need

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Speaker 5: to focus on my studies. Well, I've been focusing on

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Speaker 5: my studies and obviously they're fine. When I told my

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Speaker 5: stepdad about potentially having good news about my grant money,

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Speaker 5: he immediately berated me, no, you're not moving out, even

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Speaker 5: though I wasn't even going to talk about it. They

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Speaker 5: put a lot of pressure on me and to do

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Speaker 5: impromptu milk runs in the middle of the night to

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Speaker 5: take care of my brother while they go out. They

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Speaker 5: say I can come and go as I please, but

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Speaker 5: demand me to text me where I am throughout the

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Speaker 5: day and make extremely snider for me. And now I

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00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,840
Speaker 5: practically live at my boyfriends. Even though they established that

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Speaker 5: it was supposed to be absolutely fine. I'm getting sick

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Speaker 5: of living here. I get berated for hanging my bath

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Speaker 5: towel and the incorrect towel rack. I have to stop

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Speaker 5: at home to do the dishes between school and my internship,

329
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,880
Speaker 5: even though I'm barely home enough to do the dishes anyway,

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Speaker 5: and I get fussed at for not being home. But

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Speaker 5: when I am at home, they don't even acknowledge my

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00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,040
Speaker 5: existence unless they need something. I'm so tired of them

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Speaker 5: seeing all my anxieties as me not being ready and

334
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Speaker 5: not seeing the strides I could make on my own.

335
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Speaker 5: But I'm still conflicted. I don't want to lose them.

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Speaker 5: I just want to move out and live my life

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Speaker 5: freely and develop responsibility. I feel weird that they aren't

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Speaker 5: even letting me do that. I don't feel like I'm

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Speaker 5: even home.

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Speaker 2: Here anymore, and edits.

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Speaker 5: I am extremely grateful for the advice and constructive criticism.

342
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:51,080
Speaker 5: I do think my parents have slight issues, but ultimately,

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Speaker 5: in their weird way, they seem to think they're doing

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00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,920
Speaker 5: the best by me while also taking extreme advantage of

345
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,720
Speaker 5: the situation. I'm flying to multiple part time jobs and

346
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,040
Speaker 5: have been for a while, but the advice everyone is

347
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 5: given out has just reaffirmed that I must do this

348
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,480
Speaker 5: once I get a job and have a decent amount

349
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Speaker 5: of income. I'm going to let my mother know that

350
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,720
Speaker 5: I will move and that she can't say anything to

351
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,240
Speaker 5: change my mind. I know she'll be pissed and that

352
00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:18,200
Speaker 5: my stepdad will be enraged, but I suppose that's the

353
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:21,800
Speaker 5: cost of seeking happiness. I might schedule a therapists appointment

354
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,960
Speaker 5: in the meantime with someone who is quite familiar with

355
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,520
Speaker 5: how my mother can be and seek her advice as well.

356
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Speaker 5: And there is an update.

357
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Speaker 3: But any thought, I'm just so like surprised by these parents.

358
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Speaker 4: I feel like, usually I hear things that it's the

359
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,800
Speaker 4: opposite of, like, you know, people are urging their kids

360
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,520
Speaker 4: to get a job and to move out and stuff

361
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,040
Speaker 4: like that, and they have you know, problems maybe or

362
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,720
Speaker 4: something or whatever the reason is to.

363
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Speaker 3: Not do that just yet.

364
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,680
Speaker 4: But it feels like we're punzel And she's like, I

365
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,120
Speaker 4: can be a person, I handle myself.

366
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Speaker 3: And they're like, no, the world is dangerous. Mother knows best.

367
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,360
Speaker 4: Exactly, She's like, please, yeah, I have long hair for

368
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Speaker 4: a reason.

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Speaker 2: So I can get out of here.

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Speaker 5: But exactly these parents are doing the same thing that

371
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,560
Speaker 5: OPI had the robot leg and the parent was babing

372
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,840
Speaker 5: the other neurodivigent child like this is what's happening here,

373
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:13,640
Speaker 5: except Opie is saying, whoa, you guys are infantilizing me

374
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:18,360
Speaker 5: yep and seeing me as this young, kind of helpless teenager.

375
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Speaker 3: You know I'm not that anymore.

376
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, So after reading all the comments, I made

377
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,880
Speaker 5: the decision to apply to jobs. I applied to all

378
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,640
Speaker 5: I could find and actually landed a decent paying job

379
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,360
Speaker 5: as a front desk associate. Also, I got two grants

380
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 5: from my school to pay for my entire tuition and

381
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,600
Speaker 5: to have some extra money.

382
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Speaker 2: So yay.

383
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,800
Speaker 3: I landed the job, got my grant money and talked

384
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:39,720
Speaker 3: to my boyfriend.

385
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:42,040
Speaker 5: We both agreed that I should move out, and he

386
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,960
Speaker 5: was more than willing to have me move in for

387
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,800
Speaker 5: five hundred a month. I was thrilled and sat down

388
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Speaker 5: with my parents. They did not take it well. They

389
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,120
Speaker 5: told me I couldn't live somewhere else and stay on

390
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,480
Speaker 5: their insurance. They told me I was making the worst

391
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 5: decision of my life and threatened to take me off

392
00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:00,080
Speaker 5: all insurance and to cut me off completely. As as

393
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,920
Speaker 5: a person who has to take prozac every day, to

394
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,480
Speaker 5: function like a normal human being.

395
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Speaker 3: This terrified me.

396
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 5: They told me they let me get a job this time,

397
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,960
Speaker 5: even though I did it behind their backs, but that

398
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,840
Speaker 5: moving out against the agreement they had with me. We

399
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,000
Speaker 5: never had an agreement. They simply told me that I

400
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,639
Speaker 5: had to live with them, period. This broke my heart,

401
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,120
Speaker 5: and my boyfriend decided to talk with them next time

402
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:23,119
Speaker 5: with me, this time bringing a financial planning paper we

403
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 5: both worked on to show we thought about things and

404
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,760
Speaker 5: we had a budget and talked to his parents and

405
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,280
Speaker 5: they were thrilled and everything. My parents shot me down

406
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,720
Speaker 5: again the entire meeting in front of my boyfriend. My

407
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,480
Speaker 5: parents told me I was incapable of living on my own,

408
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,000
Speaker 5: that I wouldn't last out there in the real world,

409
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,960
Speaker 5: this is literally mother golfle and that I never finished

410
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,399
Speaker 5: anything I sought out to do, even though I'm a

411
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:46,439
Speaker 5: straight A student, even though I got not one but

412
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,840
Speaker 5: two college grants, even though I'm literally a state champion

413
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,240
Speaker 5: and speech and debate. They guilted me and made me

414
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,000
Speaker 5: feel bad for wanting to move out, accusing me of

415
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,040
Speaker 5: abandoning the family, and told me flat out that I

416
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,520
Speaker 5: will fail period, that I would not be able to

417
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,439
Speaker 5: accomplish anything, and that I would be miserable. I'm not

418
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:07,359
Speaker 5: even exaggerating. They legit said I wouldn't accomplish anything. I

419
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,879
Speaker 5: then tried to compromise and ask them if I was

420
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 5: still to live at home to allow me to live

421
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,040
Speaker 5: a relatively free life to come and go, and if

422
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,879
Speaker 5: they wanted me to quit my job give me a

423
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,320
Speaker 5: little bit more to live off since I'm trying to

424
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:20,520
Speaker 5: make a life for myself out there. Nope, they said

425
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,960
Speaker 5: I belonged at home period, for the sake of me

426
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,120
Speaker 5: being home in case they needed me. It's not even

427
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,679
Speaker 5: about you. It's just like we need you to be

428
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,640
Speaker 5: here to mind your sibling.

429
00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, o p is saying is true.

430
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,320
Speaker 4: It's like they want her to be home and then

431
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 4: not paying attention to her when she is unless they

432
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 4: need something. It's like the only reason they actually want

433
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,320
Speaker 4: this is just for control and for what she contributes

434
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 4: to their lives.

435
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:43,200
Speaker 2: Exactly.

436
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 4: It's like you guys are doing her an incredible disservice,

437
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 4: but just like holding her back this whole time.

438
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:53,160
Speaker 5: Agreed, Miss Boozy says they are projecting they can't live

439
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,680
Speaker 5: without a pea's help. Yeah, yeah, indeed, I don't mind

440
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,679
Speaker 5: helping out at all, but home for the sake of

441
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 5: just being around doing nothing. Writing this, I still feel

442
00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 5: like I'm disobeying them and feeling guilty for feeling upset

443
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,679
Speaker 5: at how they treated me. I feel like I have

444
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 5: to justify every sentence I say, and that in itself

445
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 5: isn't right. I think they love me in their way,

446
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,280
Speaker 5: but I couldn't live with them anymore. There is a

447
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,200
Speaker 5: little bit left do this story. Do you have any

448
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,880
Speaker 5: final thoughts? Just same kind of stuff.

449
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,720
Speaker 4: It's very disappointing and so upsetting that they're so like

450
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,159
Speaker 4: not self reflecting at all.

451
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:28,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

452
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,680
Speaker 4: I can't think of the proper way to say that,

453
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:34,120
Speaker 4: but like they do no self reflection, Yeah, yeah, exactly.

454
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,479
Speaker 4: It's just like it's so clear what's going on and

455
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,040
Speaker 4: how you're just gonna hold to her back like they

456
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,360
Speaker 4: don't even need like, you know, medical.

457
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:41,680
Speaker 3: Help right now.

458
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,720
Speaker 4: It seems or like you know, attention like parents usually

459
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,000
Speaker 4: do when they get a lot older.

460
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:48,800
Speaker 3: It's like, well, let her live her own life for

461
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 3: a second. Yeah, and they don't come parent. Yeah, And

462
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 3: so they want to pe to stay there so they

463
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,080
Speaker 3: don't have to parent. Yeah.

464
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, But there is a little bit more to this story.

465
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,880
Speaker 5: At this moment, I realized my parents would never look

466
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,760
Speaker 5: at me and see anything but the mistakes I've made

467
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 5: in my life and see me as a crutch. I

468
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,600
Speaker 5: was so sad I didn't have their support, but.

469
00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:09,160
Speaker 3: I got out.

470
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 5: Now I live with my boyfriend and things are going good.

471
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,639
Speaker 5: We are still packing, but I've never felt happier. I

472
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,879
Speaker 5: look forward to going home now. I barely have panic

473
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 5: attacks and my job is going very well. I'm learning

474
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,679
Speaker 5: out of budget for bills, and after fighting hard, I

475
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 5: managed to get my parents to keep me on medical insurance,

476
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,680
Speaker 5: but I think I can make it work. Thanks again

477
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 5: everyone for the advice. Just want to let you all

478
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 5: know I.

479
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 3: Took it and I don't regret it at all. Oh good,

480
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,640
Speaker 3: Oh lovely good good.

481
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

482
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 4: I want to move across the country, but my father

483
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 4: is holding me back back go. I graduated from college

484
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,879
Speaker 4: and after about with a drinking problem, I started to

485
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,119
Speaker 4: work at my family's business, which was started by my

486
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 4: grandmother in nineteen sixty. I began in the call center

487
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 4: and worked for the last three and a half years

488
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 4: to be our field work project manager. It is a

489
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 4: large small business, but still a small business, so I

490
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,040
Speaker 4: end up working, so sometimes seventy hours a week and

491
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 4: fifty hours is pretty normal. Even on four day weeks,

492
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,120
Speaker 4: I often find myself with forty five or fifty hours.

493
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Incido Man fifty seven

494
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,359
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

495
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So I'm

496
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 4: pretty constantly stressed and I am on call.

497
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 3: Ninety nine percent of the time.

498
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 4: Although I make decent money with overtime, it amounts to

499
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 4: nothing because of how expensive it is to live in

500
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 4: our city. My fiance together for four and a half years,

501
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 4: lost her job seven months ago and has not been

502
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 4: able to find anything other than part time, and paying

503
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 4: the rent for two in this city is rough. I

504
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:36,439
Speaker 4: don't want to live to work for the rest of

505
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 4: my life, and I don't want to constantly be stressed out.

506
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 3: I love working for my.

507
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 4: Uncle CEO and my dad senior vice president, but I

508
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,880
Speaker 4: don't want to do it anymore. They have both had

509
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 4: a lot of heart and stress problems, and I'm pretty

510
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,040
Speaker 4: sure at this point it is from thirty to forty

511
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 4: years of this job. My uncle took off two weeks

512
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,880
Speaker 4: for the first time in forty years last year, and

513
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 4: he called us from the other side of the world

514
00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 4: every other day to get updates.

515
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 3: It's sick.

516
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,880
Speaker 4: I don't want to be like that. My fiance doesn't

517
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 4: want that to happen, and I want out. I proposed

518
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,919
Speaker 4: a change of scenery and we started to plan across

519
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 4: country move a few weeks ago. Her parents live across

520
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 4: the country and her dad is the head of a

521
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,400
Speaker 4: very large government organization that has tons of community business

522
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 4: ties and is very connected in mine and her fields.

523
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 4: We have spoken to them and made the decision to

524
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 4: move across the country and live with them.

525
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 3: They have a very large home. For six to twelve months.

526
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 4: We will have at the very least temporary jobs waiting

527
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 4: for us, and we have already moved our wedding plans to.

528
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,159
Speaker 3: A venue there. Here is where it gets effed for me.

529
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,439
Speaker 4: We were planning on telling my parents last weekend, but

530
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 4: last Thursday, my dad had an appointment for some medical testing.

531
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 3: He has been having some fatigue issues. He is not unhealthy,

532
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 3: or so I thought.

533
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,879
Speaker 4: He and I ride mountain and rode bikes pretty religiously,

534
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 4: so they kept him overnight in the hospital and now

535
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 4: he is scheduled for double bypass heart surgery on the

536
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 4: twenty eth Well, just to note how work obsessed my

537
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 4: dad is. His first reaction to hearing this was how

538
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 4: it was going to impact his upcoming projects, so we

539
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 4: haven't told him yet. I'm planning on telling my uncle

540
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,119
Speaker 4: this Friday before I leave for the weekend that my

541
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 4: last day will be on February fourteenth, so I am

542
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 4: giving them plenty of time. But I don't know if

543
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 4: telling my dad before his surgery is a good idea.

544
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 4: Telling him when he is recovering might be bad too.

545
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 4: I don't want to wait too long because I know

546
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 4: that they have to find and train a replacement. I'm

547
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,119
Speaker 4: honestly destroyed by all of this. My dad is my

548
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 4: best friend and I don't want to do anything to

549
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 4: hurt him. But I know that this is what is

550
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 4: best for my future family, Beyonce and planned children. We

551
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 4: will never be able to afford a house in the

552
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 4: current city or even area. The city has become an

553
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 4: overcrowded nightmare from when I was a kid, and I

554
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 4: honestly effing hated here. Not to mention my work frustrations,

555
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 4: I can't wait to move, but I am seriously messed

556
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:47,200
Speaker 4: up over.

557
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 3: Telling my parents the news.

558
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 4: I have told my brother twenty six, who lives with us,

559
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 4: and he is super supportive, so that's good.

560
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 3: But I'm just worried. I'm worried and I can't figure

561
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,199
Speaker 3: out what my best option is. I know that my

562
00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:59,040
Speaker 3: dad's health.

563
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 4: Comes first, but I feel like it might just be

564
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 4: as bad for his stress levels if I told him

565
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 4: in the weeks after surgery. I realize how fortunate we

566
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,639
Speaker 4: are to have family all over that is willing to

567
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 4: help us. But I'm just very lost right now. When

568
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 4: is the best time to break the news to my parents?

569
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 4: So there are some comments, But what do you think, Sophia,

570
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 4: Now as soon as possible.

571
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 5: As soon as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, your dad might

572
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:24,239
Speaker 5: be a little bit stressed. I'm sure it's not going

573
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 5: to be crazy. You know, you have a good relationship

574
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 5: with your dad, that's what you said. Yeah, so if

575
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 5: you have a good relationship with him, and you know,

576
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 5: even unlived anyone, there's no actual you know, this is

577
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 5: you're doing something good for your family.

578
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll hopefully understand that.

579
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:42,400
Speaker 2: Yeah.

580
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 3: I think if you.

581
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 4: Can find like a suitable replacement on your own, that

582
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 4: would be great, or like at least an option for

583
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 4: it and be like, hey, like I gotta go, but

584
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 4: like here's some people that.

585
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 3: I know that might be able to help exactly.

586
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, like don't just leave him lurch yeah or something

587
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 4: right or be you know, I would love to help

588
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 4: as much as I can before I'm gone, because I

589
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 4: know that that's like a hard thing to do. Like

590
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, definitely, as soon as possible is probably good.

591
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 3: I don't know.

592
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 4: Maybe right after the surgery is fine too, but then

593
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 4: it might cause more problems that will.

594
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 3: Have you fix with another surgery. Just think, oh right

595
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 3: right away?

596
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 2: Yeah?

597
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, But let's see what the comments think. Comment to

598
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 4: number one says, wait until your dad is through the

599
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 4: surgery and partly recovered until you tell your parents.

600
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 3: I'd say wait until the new year. Six weeks is

601
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 3: plenty of notice.

602
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 4: My dad has been through heart surgery and the scariest

603
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 4: part of the recovery is that first week.

604
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:37,160
Speaker 3: He'll be in much better shape by January.

605
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 4: Ohpe, he responds, man, I really wanted to let him

606
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 4: know asap, but I know that you are right.

607
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 3: I wanted to get this off my chest.

608
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 4: I hate keeping things from my family, especially when it

609
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 4: directly impacts them. I think this is just me being

610
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 4: selfish in that I don't want to hold onto the

611
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 4: secret because it's bothering me so much and adding to

612
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 4: my stress.

613
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:55,879
Speaker 3: But dang, it's rough.

614
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 4: Someone responds, if you think you can trust your mom,

615
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,560
Speaker 4: you could consider you're telling her and asking her to

616
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,879
Speaker 4: keep the secret with you until dad is better. I

617
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 4: don't know whether your mom is discreet and capable of

618
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,399
Speaker 4: something like that, though, oh, he says, I think she could.

619
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 4: But the whole point would be so that my uncle

620
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 4: could start looking for a replacement for my job. I

621
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 4: can wait to tell them for the sake of our

622
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,120
Speaker 4: personal life, but I want to be as professionally courteous

623
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,640
Speaker 4: as possible because they are family and I want them

624
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 4: to be covered completely.

625
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 2: I don't know.

626
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 4: I know that six weeks is plenty of time to

627
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 4: find a replacement, and I think I just have to

628
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 4: suck it up and live with the secret.

629
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 2: For a few weeks.

630
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 4: Someone else responds, six weeks is far more than professional courtesy, dictates.

631
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 4: I realize it's complicated because these are family members, but

632
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 4: two weeks is the norm in the business world. You're

633
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 4: already giving them triple the amount of notice a normal

634
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 4: employee would, so you need to let go of your guilt.

635
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 4: If your uncle is upset, it's pretty easy to explain

636
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 4: that you didn't want to make waves while your dad

637
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:49,400
Speaker 4: was sick and in recovery.

638
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 3: Stop beating yourself up about this.

639
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:54,520
Speaker 4: Commentary Number two says, if you're planning to tell your uncle,

640
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 4: then I think you should plan on telling your father

641
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,920
Speaker 4: soon too. Don't put other members of the family in

642
00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,320
Speaker 4: the position of hiding this. I'm sure he'll miss you,

643
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 4: but from a work standpoint, you're giving him plenty of

644
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 4: time to find a replacement. To comment to number three,

645
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 4: he says, first mistake was letting yourself be underpaid by

646
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 4: your father. You should have been demanding appropriate weight increases

647
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 4: all this time.

648
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 3: They have a lot of good reasons to hire you.

649
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,360
Speaker 4: Over some stranger, and you should have leveraged that as

650
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 4: hard as you could. It doesn't matter what others in

651
00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 4: your position are paid. What I'm saying is he's going

652
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 4: to beg you to stay and offer you the moon,

653
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,479
Speaker 4: and you'll be tempted. Maybe you'll just say no, and

654
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 4: that's fine, But since there's some small chance that you'll

655
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 4: be swayed regardless of what you believe right now you

656
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 4: need to prepare for that case now.

657
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 3: Instead of letting your dad.

658
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 4: Blindside you, He's going to offer you the moon, and

659
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 4: if you are at all close to wavering, at least

660
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 4: have the self esteem to demand moon and a half

661
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 4: in four weeks of vacation a year, including retroactive pay

662
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 4: for the years you were underpaid. Oh, he says, You're

663
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 4: probably right. I earned some dang good management experience, and

664
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,400
Speaker 4: I have opened a lot of doors professionally for myself.

665
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 4: I think this was a good learning experience, and you

666
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 4: are right. They are going to try to keep me here,

667
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 4: but they couldn't pay me enough to stay in the

668
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,719
Speaker 4: city any longer. Besides, I've already committed to a decision

669
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 4: that my fiance is excited about. We both She's been

670
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 4: understanding enough with my job the last three years, and

671
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 4: it's my turn to repay that, so to speak. I'm

672
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 4: going to fortify my position and make sure I'm ready

673
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,439
Speaker 4: for that conversation and.

674
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 3: We do have an update. So those are some pretty

675
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 3: good comments. Yeah, yeah, I.

676
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 5: Feel like, I mean, not what I was in but

677
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 5: it seems like maybe that is a another option that

678
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 5: might work out better. Yeah, I mean like obviously heart

679
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 5: surgery is you gotta be careful.

680
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 3: But yeah, and if.

681
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 4: He really thinks that it's going to affect that die

682
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 4: like that much, then yeah, maybe just.

683
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 2: Wait a little bit.

684
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 3: It could relive too much. Yeah, well, how you think

685
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 3: your dad will receive it?

686
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess it is also probably like better information

687
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 4: than like where they are compared to February fourteenth. You know,

688
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 4: it's like they've got quite a bit of time. It's

689
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 4: not like it's a couple weeks away. That is good

690
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 4: to know too, But we do have an update. So

691
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 4: I waited until a few weeks after my dad's surgery

692
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 4: to give my uncle notice of me quiting and telling

693
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 4: my family. My dad recovered very quickly, so that eased

694
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 4: my worry about jeopardizing his health with my news. My

695
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,719
Speaker 4: aunt and uncle were both very understanding, albeit very disappointed.

696
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 4: I told them before I left the office on a

697
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 4: Friday afternoon. I asked them not to talk to my

698
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 4: parents until later that weekend, and left directly to pick

699
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 4: up my fiance and.

700
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 3: Tell the rest of my family.

701
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 4: I was very blunt about everything, the city being unaffordable

702
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 4: and overcrowded, not being compensated enough for my work, hating

703
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 4: the stress of the job, et cetera. My mom did

704
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 4: not take it well and did not speak to me

705
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 4: for three weeks or so other than an awkward conversation

706
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 4: where she guilted me a whole bunch for leaving and

707
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 4: I hung up on her.

708
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 3: Wow, not the reaction we want.

709
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,160
Speaker 4: My dad was very sad, but we talked about everything

710
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 4: and he understood pretty quickly. My mom has always been

711
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 4: very financially sheltered by my dad, so she just doesn't

712
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 4: understand how difficult it can be when most of your

713
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 4: money is being dumped into outrageous housing costs, and refused

714
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 4: to see that we were doing this for a better

715
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 4: future for ourselves until about a month later. Fast forward

716
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 4: three months and you moved across the country. I almost

717
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,560
Speaker 4: immediately got a job in my field, working for a client.

718
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 4: This is basically my dream job, low stress, fewer hours,

719
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 4: salaried at double the pay, and better benefits than well

720
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 4: do you repe Because of this job, my wife did

721
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 4: not have to go back to work right away and

722
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,960
Speaker 4: is studying to take the Bar exam in the new year.

723
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 4: As for any residual anger towards my dad and uncle

724
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:24,160
Speaker 4: for overworking and underpaying me.

725
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 3: I let that crap go.

726
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 4: It's pretty typical to start in this field where I was,

727
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:29,719
Speaker 4: and my experience.

728
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 3: Was not unique.

729
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 4: I got a better job and holding on to any

730
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 4: resentment does not serve me any purpose. I love them

731
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 4: both despite their workaholic tendencies. There is a little bit

732
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 4: more to the storage. We have any final thoughts before

733
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 4: we wrap it up.

734
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 5: It seems like everything's working out. You talk to your

735
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 5: family members, They all somewhat understand your mom less so,

736
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 5: but seems like she came around.

737
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 3: Yep. At the end of the day, you gotta do

738
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 3: what was right for you.

739
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, and you know, the only thing that you can

740
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 5: do is communicate that in a kind and respectful way.

741
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 3: Exactly exactly, But there is a little bit more into

742
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 3: the story.

743
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 4: It turned out it was a blessing in disguise that

744
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 4: we moved when we did, because in May, my brother

745
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 4: in law, thirty.

746
00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 3: Two, I expectedly passed away.

747
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,719
Speaker 4: I left my wife's sister thirty two with her three girls,

748
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 4: ages five to ten, So they moved to the neighborhood,

749
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 4: and instead of my wife and I getting our own place,

750
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 4: we are living with them to help out as much

751
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 4: as possible.

752
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 3: While they get adjusted to the new area and getting settled.

753
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 4: So even if we hadn't moved when we did, I

754
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 4: know we would have moved anyway to be there for them.

755
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 4: So that is where we're at. The cross country move

756
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 4: was as smooth as something like that can go. We

757
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 4: got married, lost a beloved family member, and are helping

758
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 4: my sister in law and my nieces get through a

759
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 4: very difficult time. I thought we were making the right

760
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 4: decision before, and now I know that we made the right.

761
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:45,560
Speaker 3: Decision, even though I miss my family. And that is

762
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 3: the end of that story.

763
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 2: John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,

764
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 2: but a quick three minute break from hops from our sponsors.

765
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 2: My son left me when his paternity came to light,

766
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,240
Speaker 2: but now he wants to rekindle.

767
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 3: This abandonment in the opposite direction.

768
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 2: Let's find out I don't know. I forty eight male,

769
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 2: found out my ex, forty nine female, had cheated on

770
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 2: me and that the two children she had given birth

771
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 2: two twenty three female and twenty one male, only the

772
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 2: girl was mine. I filed for divorce and my ex

773
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 2: tried for reconciliation, but I couldn't live with so much doubt.

774
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 2: Once we got to court, it was like a switch

775
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,400
Speaker 2: had flipped, and she tried to keep me from the children.

776
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 2: It didn't work, though I had really good lawyers. By

777
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user Carrie Early thirteen forty four,

778
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

779
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 2: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So, in spite

780
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,800
Speaker 2: of everything, I was willing to still be a father

781
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 2: to Noah, which is a vague name, but my ex

782
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 2: can be very manipulative. She told Noah about his quote

783
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 2: unquote real dad and even introduced them. Since then, I

784
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 2: became strictly the fake dad while he was the cool

785
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 2: real dad. When Noah was thirteen, he told me that

786
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:58,800
Speaker 2: he no longer wanted to see me and that he'd

787
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 2: tell a judge the same thing if I forced visitation.

788
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 2: I asked him why and if I had ever made

789
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 2: him feel bad. Noah just said that he wanted to

790
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 2: spend more time with his real dad and didn't like

791
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 2: my house rules. I was heartbroken, but I let him

792
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 2: go and still made attempts to keep the relationship. I called, texted,

793
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 2: I sent presents, and even invited him to events. Noah

794
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 2: wouldn't respond or pass small messages through his sister. When

795
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,719
Speaker 2: Noah was eighteen, he legally changed his surname to his

796
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,720
Speaker 2: father's and told me there wasn't enough room for me

797
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 2: to attend his graduation. After that, I gave up and

798
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 2: resolved to live life being a father to my daughter

799
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 2: and son, twelve male via my second wife. Recently, Noah

800
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:40,080
Speaker 2: reached out to me and apologized for his past actions

801
00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 2: and wanted a relationship again. I was surprised and heavily skeptical,

802
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 2: and was right to be so. Apparently, Noah's real dad

803
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 2: got married and his wife gave him an ultimatum, and

804
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,239
Speaker 2: he chose her. I told Noah that while I am

805
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 2: sorry for what happened to him, I had no interest

806
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 2: in being treated like an old pair of gloves that

807
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,640
Speaker 2: you only think about and where when it gets cold.

808
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 2: My ex thinks I'm being hurtful and petty, which is

809
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 2: rich coming from her, and my daughter says that she

810
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 2: understands my pain but hopes that I can learn to

811
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 2: give Noah a second chance. I just don't know, because

812
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 2: I'm in a place where I'm fine not having Noah

813
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 2: in my life or having any communication with him. I

814
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 2: don't want to rekindle a relationship just for him to

815
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 2: drop me again when his real dad changes his mind.

816
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 2: Am I the ahle and we have some relevant comments,

817
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 2: But what do you think.

818
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,919
Speaker 3: I agree with the daughter. I understand being upset with him,

819
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, he's a kid.

820
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was thirteen when all this like, Yeah, he

821
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:43,399
Speaker 2: was clearly poisoned against you. Yeah, to some degree by

822
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 2: his mom. Right, so I think you should try to

823
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 2: find a way to forgive him in your own heart.

824
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 3: It could be the adult in the situation.

825
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,439
Speaker 2: I understand it hurts though, sure, but it's like he's

826
00:34:56,480 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 2: a kid. Galaxy nine five six says not the a hole.

827
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 2: While I completely understand everyone else's reasoning, I feel many

828
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 2: are missing the important point. Noah did not reach out

829
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,439
Speaker 2: because he saw the error of his ways or saw

830
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 2: how his mother manipulated him against you. Noah is reaching

831
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,319
Speaker 2: out because his real dad tossed him aside. While it's

832
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 2: certainly possible that event opened Noah's eyes, as outsiders, it's

833
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 2: easy to just say forgive him, he's just a kid

834
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: being the person hurt. It's not so easy to just

835
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 2: do it when the event is making you feel like

836
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:34,240
Speaker 2: a backup plan in any kind of relationship, much less

837
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,840
Speaker 2: than a father son one. Having said that, while I

838
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 2: wouldn't blame you for not accepting him at all, the

839
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 2: most respectful thing for everyone involved would be to let

840
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 2: the initial shock and anger subside, and then arrange a

841
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 2: meetup and talk to him. During that conversation, hear him

842
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 2: out and figure out for yourself. Is Noah reaching out

843
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 2: because this opened his eyes? Or is it out of

844
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 2: anger and resentment at his real dad trying to use

845
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,959
Speaker 2: you as a replacement? Opie says, I feel like I'm

846
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:03,879
Speaker 2: just a replacement or a placeholder until his real dad

847
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,359
Speaker 2: changes his mind. A deleted commenter says, do you think

848
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 2: you could ask him what he would do if that happened?

849
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 2: OHP says, I've thought about asking him that, but I

850
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 2: honestly do think I would believe him if he told

851
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 2: me he was genuinely sorry and would still want a

852
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 2: relationship with me, regardless of whether his dad was in

853
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 2: the picture or not. The name change was a big

854
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:24,359
Speaker 2: gesture against me. Zenev thirty says, not the a hole.

855
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,000
Speaker 2: He's already twenty one years old. He had plenty of

856
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 2: time to reconnect with you, but chose to do it

857
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,480
Speaker 2: now because his dad dropped him. His mom may have

858
00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 2: manipulated him when he was a kid, but he had

859
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:36,320
Speaker 2: plenty of time to realize that when he became an adult,

860
00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:39,399
Speaker 2: because as soon as we turn eighteen, we realize all

861
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:42,280
Speaker 2: of the wrong things we've thought for our whole lives.

862
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's how that works for sure.

863
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 2: Also, I don't get why his dad's wife would give

864
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,840
Speaker 2: his dad an ultimatum. He's an adult. Why was an

865
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 2: ultimatum needed? Does he live with his dad? Is his

866
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 2: dad paying for his expenses? If it's about money, then

867
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,600
Speaker 2: sorry to say, but he's only trying to connect with

868
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:04,080
Speaker 2: you because of the money. Don't let anyone guilt trip you.

869
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 2: Stay firm to what you want. Op he replies. I

870
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 2: honestly don't know why his dad was given an ultimatum.

871
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:13,719
Speaker 2: He literally stopped talking to me directly when he was

872
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 2: a teen, and then ceased all other form of contact

873
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 2: once he was eighteen. He had to ask my daughter

874
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 2: for my phone number. TMSs on six, says your son,

875
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,879
Speaker 2: because he is your son, he was for more than

876
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 2: half of his life, and you were in the hospital

877
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 2: the day he was born. You changed his diapers or

878
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 2: his dad like you're not your son was a middle

879
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,240
Speaker 2: schooler when he decided to cut you out of his life.

880
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 2: I think maybe your interpretation of his motivations may not

881
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 2: be correct. There's a pretty strong chance that when he

882
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 2: saw that his bio dad would think nothing of giving

883
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 2: up his relationship with him for a girl, it reminded

884
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 2: him of the dad who never stopped trying to love

885
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 2: him even when he didn't really want that love, and

886
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 2: made him realize what he'd lost. At twenty one, he's

887
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 2: still very young, and it sounds like he wants his

888
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 2: dad back. Sure, it could end in the two of

889
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 2: you yelling at each other and never speaking again, but

890
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,840
Speaker 2: there's also a very significant chance that this could be

891
00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 2: the start of a rekindling of that relationship. I don't

892
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 2: think there would ever be a situation where you would say, oh, dang,

893
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: I wish I hadn't reconnected with my long lost son.

894
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 2: You're lucky in that it's only been eight years. It

895
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 2: will be much harder to reconnect if you reject him

896
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 2: now just like his bio dad did, and decide when

897
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 2: he's forty he'd actually like him in your life. I

898
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 2: think it's fair to say that if the vast majority

899
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,240
Speaker 2: of seventh grade boys had a choice between a rules

900
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 2: and stability dad or a fun no rules dad, they'd

901
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 2: pick the second one. Of course, it hurt you, but

902
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 2: I don't think it reveals some great moral failing of his.

903
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,720
Speaker 2: He was a young person grappling with the very traumatic

904
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:43,839
Speaker 2: fact that his identity changed when it came out that

905
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 2: half of his DNA came from a completely different person

906
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 2: than he thought. Of the people who were traumatized by

907
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 2: this paternity revelation, I would think his trauma would be

908
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 2: equal to or even worse than yours, particularly since he

909
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 2: was so young when it happened. So you would be

910
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 2: the ale for missing out on a chance to get

911
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,840
Speaker 2: your son back. And if it doesn't work out, that's okay,

912
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 2: but at least you'll know op, he replies. Noah stopped

913
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 2: thinking of me as his dad long before I stopped

914
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 2: considering him as my son. So I want to ask,

915
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 2: can two people still be considered family if they stop

916
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,520
Speaker 2: thinking or treating each other as family and there's no

917
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,240
Speaker 2: blood relation?

918
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 3: Yeah?

919
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, did you change his doodoo diapers?

920
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 3: Right?

921
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:26,000
Speaker 2: Did you go?

922
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 3: I love you widow, baby boy?

923
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 4: Well?

924
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 2: I think is my boy? Right? Yeah, that's your kid, dude. Yeah.

925
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 2: Oops oop he doesn't have your genes, but that's your

926
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 2: kid oops oops oops.

927
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

928
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,800
Speaker 4: And again, like what we were saying before, what comes

929
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 4: with having a kid is just you know, letting them

930
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 4: go through those phases where they're just like, ah, I hit.

931
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 2: My fake dad. Yeah. The finding out your bio dad

932
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,399
Speaker 2: is not the dad that has raised you, and then

933
00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:01,000
Speaker 2: cutting off your dad yeah for your b biodad who's

934
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 2: also not a great guy turns out. Yeah, is a

935
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,839
Speaker 2: pretty rough scenario to have to deal with. Yeah.

936
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 3: And that's so young too, for sure.

937
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 2: So young. We have like one more comment here and

938
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:15,760
Speaker 2: then we'll get into the update. Cool my Licorice Life says,

939
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 2: of course they can. People choose their family all the time.

940
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,000
Speaker 2: My daughter still calls my ex husband dad even though

941
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 2: he's technically no longer her stepdad, and she has a

942
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,320
Speaker 2: relationship with her biodad. There's always room for more love.

943
00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 2: There is a lot of hurt on both sides of

944
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 2: your situation, so reconciliation won't be exactly easy. But that

945
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 2: doesn't mean it's wrong, hope, he says. But again, Noah

946
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,279
Speaker 2: chose to reject me, and I eventually got tired of

947
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,840
Speaker 2: being rejected and stopped thinking of him in that way.

948
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 2: He's choosing me when it seems like he can't try

949
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 2: for anyone else. And I don't choose that. You mentioned

950
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 2: your daughter, but did she at any point stop calling

951
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 2: your ex dad and then changed her mind later? Is

952
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 2: her biodad involved in any way? And if he was,

953
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: would she still be calling your egg dad? We have

954
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,720
Speaker 2: an edit for info here all right? Just to be clear,

955
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 2: because I keep seeing this. I divorced my ex when

956
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 2: Noah was six. My ex told Noah the truth about

957
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 2: his parentage when he was ten, and his real dad

958
00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 2: came into his life around twelve. This all didn't just

959
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,240
Speaker 2: happen when he was thirteen. By the time he reached

960
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 2: that age, he already had at least a year to

961
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,400
Speaker 2: process the information. What are you talking about? See this

962
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 2: is like it's like, well, he had a year to

963
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 2: deal with It's like this is a child being impressed

964
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 2: upon by his mother. Yeah, how he should be thinking

965
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 2: and feeling about Ope, his dad. Yes, you're not gonna

966
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:40,320
Speaker 2: undo that right with like just a snap of your finger,

967
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,960
Speaker 2: exactly exactly when I asked my daughter, since Noah wasn't

968
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,240
Speaker 2: talking to me if she thought her mom was pushing

969
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 2: Noah to say those things. She said, no, right, and

970
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,400
Speaker 2: she would have also been fifteen at the time. Yeah,

971
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 2: not gonna tattle on her mom, right, you know.

972
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's just you gotta understand these children.

973
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,479
Speaker 4: He's your kid, just trying to figure out the way

974
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 4: of the world, you know, right.

975
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 2: Apparently Noah wanted to spend time with his dad, but

976
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 2: because of his work schedule, it wasn't always often. However,

977
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 2: when it could happen, it was conveniently during my scheduled

978
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 2: time with Noah. I tried to see if we could

979
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 2: work something out, but my ex and Noah refused any compromise,

980
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 2: and the verdict was not the a hole. Here's an update,

981
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 2: all right, blah blah blah. Thank you everybody. It feels

982
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 2: nice to have my feelings validated. After a lot of thought,

983
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 2: I decided to follow my wife's advice and write an

984
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,440
Speaker 2: actual letter to Noah, regardless of whether or not I

985
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 2: intended to send it. I explained to Noah how much

986
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 2: he hurt me by refusing to see me, never inviting

987
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:38,760
Speaker 2: me to important events in his life, and not wanting

988
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 2: to meet or spend any time with my son via

989
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 2: my new wife. I also told him how legally changing

990
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,720
Speaker 2: his surname cut deep. I wrote that in spite of everything,

991
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 2: I still didn't take any pleasure in hearing about his

992
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 2: father's rejection of him, as I understand how hurtful that

993
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 2: can be. I said that even though I knew he

994
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,439
Speaker 2: was young, I was still angry over what he did,

995
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 2: and a part of me feltz zentful towards all the

996
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,560
Speaker 2: time love and money I spent on him when I

997
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 2: technically didn't have to. Again, it's just that same vibe

998
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 2: that I'm not liking. Yeah, it's like, yeah, but what

999
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 2: about me.

1000
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, like I spent all this money on you at

1001
00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 4: raising you as a kid.

1002
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 2: It's like, and then you ignored me.

1003
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 4: So it's like, well that's serve that. It's like what

1004
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 4: you're supposed to do as a parent.

1005
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 2: So it's so much more complicated than like, well I

1006
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 2: spent money on you and my feelings a hook.

1007
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like it's not quite the relationship between like

1008
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 4: a parent and a kid isn't quite as fair or

1009
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 4: as like equal as a friendship or something, you know,

1010
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 4: like in a friendship, it's like, oh, well, like I've

1011
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 4: you know, covered your meals here and there, like maybe

1012
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 4: you could like cover some of mine, you know, But

1013
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 4: with a kid, it's like.

1014
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 3: You know, I bought you like a bed and like clothes.

1015
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 3: You don't have to do that for me, you know. Yeah,

1016
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:00,240
Speaker 3: it feels weird.

1017
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 2: So this letter felt very cleansing, and I read it

1018
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 2: a couple times before burning it. In the end, I

1019
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 2: decided to reach out to Noah and ask my daughter

1020
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 2: for his new number. He changed it when he was

1021
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,919
Speaker 2: nineteen and didn't give me his new one. I sent

1022
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,640
Speaker 2: Noah a message reiterating how sorry I was about how

1023
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 2: his father treated him, but I was hurt that it

1024
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 2: felt like I was being treated as a last resort.

1025
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 2: The circumstances of his desire to reconnect don't make me

1026
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 2: trust the relationship. I told him that I was willing

1027
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 2: to have some type of relationship with him again, but

1028
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 2: only under these specific guidelines. Don't call me dad or

1029
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:34,239
Speaker 2: refer to me as father in any way. We can

1030
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:36,440
Speaker 2: readdress this in the future, but right now it honestly

1031
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 2: feels too soon. Don't ever ask me for money, co

1032
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 2: signs for anything either. I'm not going to be his

1033
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 2: personal atm for any reason. You invite me to your things,

1034
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 2: I'll invite you to mine. He's free to complain or

1035
00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 2: talk about his biodad with or around me, but he

1036
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 2: needs to understand that I have no kind words for

1037
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 2: that man and will either say negative things or nothing

1038
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:56,799
Speaker 2: at all. I expect him to be nice to my

1039
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 2: son and new wife and treat them with respect. Don't

1040
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 2: go running to your mom in regards to information about my,

1041
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:05,800
Speaker 2: my wife or son's lives, as it's none of her business.

1042
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 2: Don't go running to your mother or sister for any

1043
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,239
Speaker 2: problems you have with me. We either talk about it

1044
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,719
Speaker 2: man to man or find someone else. I don't want

1045
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 2: them trying to put themselves into our business. He needs

1046
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,239
Speaker 2: to understand that going forward in our relationship, if we

1047
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 2: continue to pursue one, it's going to be different and

1048
00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:22,480
Speaker 2: will take more work on his end than mine, as

1049
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 2: he is less of a priority to me now that

1050
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 2: he's an adult, and when I pass away, the majority

1051
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 2: of my assess will be split between his sister and

1052
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 2: my son through my current wife, and he will only

1053
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 2: be left the minimum requirement for him to not have

1054
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 2: grounds to sue again. I'm not going to be his

1055
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 2: cash cow, okay. I think given the context, it's like

1056
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 2: he's reconnecting with his adult son who was a strained

1057
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 2: from him, and he's twenty one now and he's got

1058
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 2: a twelve year old son with a new wife. So

1059
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 2: I'm getting cozy because it's really cold in here. I

1060
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 2: think a lot of those boundaries make perfect sense. Yeah,

1061
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 2: And it's not really like I think it was all fair.

1062
00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,799
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be like, well, I think it's kind of

1063
00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:00,320
Speaker 2: you know, putting the wrong energy out to try to

1064
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 2: set up these boundaries with your you know, estrange son immediately.

1065
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,319
Speaker 2: But like I'm just trying to think of why, Like

1066
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 2: I'm not satisfied with his story right now.

1067
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I kind of feel like I understand these boundaries,

1068
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 4: and I think it's valid to feel this way. I

1069
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 4: just think maybe saying it in the way that it

1070
00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 4: was said in the post wouldn't quite be the way

1071
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 4: to do it.

1072
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want Op.

1073
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 4: To go up to his son and be like, Okay,

1074
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 4: you can be my son again, but you gotta abide

1075
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 4: by these rules, you know. Like I feel like, maybe

1076
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 4: just have a heart to heart with him, ask him

1077
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:38,240
Speaker 4: what made him come back, because if he's been away

1078
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 4: for so long, you don't know exactly what went on

1079
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 4: in his life.

1080
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 3: Figure out what that is.

1081
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's finish this story. The rest of you can

1082
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 2: agree or disagree, but these are my terms if Noah

1083
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 2: wants any type of direct communication with me going forward,

1084
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 2: as this is the only way that I feel comfortable

1085
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 2: and how I believe I can protect myself. If Noah

1086
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 2: ever becomes hurtful, this will also be his last chance.

1087
00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 2: And if he disappoints me again, then I am prepared

1088
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 2: to wash my hands of him because I have more

1089
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 2: to live for than just waiting to be loved by someone.

1090
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 2: Comment says, Noah never loved this guy's rules, being met

1091
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 2: with a barrage of rules when he reached out, reminded

1092
00:47:16,719 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 2: him why he didn't. He blocked Op's number and never

1093
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 2: contacted him again. That's why OPI hasn't updated since there's

1094
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,360
Speaker 2: nothing to update, and that's the end of that story.

1095
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 4: I sold my grandmother's secret recipe. My family got furious.

1096
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:35,320
Speaker 4: Did you sell it to Plankton at the chum Bucket?

1097
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 3: The secret formula?

1098
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,960
Speaker 4: My grandma was a wonderful baker and had a secret

1099
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:42,960
Speaker 4: cake recipe that she had created herself. It used some

1100
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 4: very uncommon spice combinations in the cake and frosting that

1101
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:47,439
Speaker 4: produced a.

1102
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,280
Speaker 3: Very unique, but delicious cake.

1103
00:47:49,719 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 4: She would always make it for our big family gatherings,

1104
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 4: and it was always the most popular dessert. By the way,

1105
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:57,239
Speaker 4: this comes from Grandma's cakes and if you want to

1106
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the arslash Okay storytime

1107
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 4: supread So when she got sick a couple of years ago,

1108
00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:04,720
Speaker 4: she decided to share the recipe so that I wouldn't

1109
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 4: pass away with her, and offered to give it to

1110
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 4: any of her kids or grandkids who wanted it. I

1111
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 4: was the only one who asked for it before she

1112
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 4: passed away. I don't know why no one else did,

1113
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 4: as there were several other bakers in the family. After

1114
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:20,320
Speaker 4: she passed, I took over bringing the cake to family

1115
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 4: gatherings and everyone was happy to still be able to

1116
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:23,279
Speaker 4: enjoy it.

1117
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:24,840
Speaker 3: I also started making.

1118
00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 4: Cakes for friends and family, and then for others by

1119
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 4: word of mouth to make extra cash on the side.

1120
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:32,239
Speaker 4: My business was really starting to pick up around the

1121
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,520
Speaker 4: time the pandemic hit, as some people who'd had my

1122
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,840
Speaker 4: cakes recommended me to their own friends and family. It

1123
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 4: soon became too much to keep up with In my

1124
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 4: tiny home kitchen. So I reached out to a friend

1125
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:46,239
Speaker 4: who had a catering business with a professional kitchen. Since

1126
00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 4: her business took a big hit with the VID, I

1127
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,840
Speaker 4: made a deal to use her kitchen to make my

1128
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 4: cakes and help supplement the takeout business she started to

1129
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 4: get by My cousin, Jane recently found out that Grandma's

1130
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 4: recipe was one of my best sellers and said that

1131
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:03,960
Speaker 4: I had no right to sell out Grandma's recipe, especially

1132
00:49:04,040 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 4: after keeping it all to myself. She had asked for

1133
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 4: it late last year, but I said no.

1134
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 3: Interesting.

1135
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 4: I told her that she had the chance to get

1136
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 4: it from Grandma before she passed away, and didn't seem

1137
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:17,719
Speaker 4: to care enough to bother that. Since Jane had lost

1138
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:19,919
Speaker 4: her job, she had decided to try selling cakes too,

1139
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:22,040
Speaker 4: which I think is why she asked for the recipe.

1140
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 3: Unfortunately for her, it's not going well.

1141
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:28,479
Speaker 4: She doesn't have the secret, secret best cake that's making

1142
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 4: your business go wild.

1143
00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, and then you can't be like, Hey, that

1144
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 2: cake that you're selling, that so unique and special, that's

1145
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 2: making you that money. Give me the recipe too. I'm

1146
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 2: gonna do the same thing as you. No, you can't

1147
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,719
Speaker 2: step into my cake market. I don't even care that

1148
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 2: it was Grandma's recipe at this point. It's just business.

1149
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 3: Oh, you're just a competitor.

1150
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 2: And then you add the layer on top of Yeah.

1151
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 2: Remember when Grandma was, you know, passing away and no

1152
00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 2: one cared about the recipe to me.

1153
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:03,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, now you're just one in the money. Huh.

1154
00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:06,399
Speaker 4: The reviews on her cakes have not been good and

1155
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 4: no one has been recommending her. Jane said that the

1156
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 4: only reason my business was doing well was because of

1157
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 4: Grandma's cake, which she wanted to sell too, and my

1158
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 4: access to a professional kitchen. The kitchen does help with

1159
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:19,840
Speaker 4: being able to work on multiple orders at once, but

1160
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 4: my business is doing well because.

1161
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 3: I actually make good cakes.

1162
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 4: Jane is good cook but not a good baker. She

1163
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:29,480
Speaker 4: doesn't follow measurements properly and instead does everything to taste,

1164
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,280
Speaker 4: which works for cooking but not baking.

1165
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:35,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. Literally, the exact opposite of cooking.

1166
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:36,319
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

1167
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,760
Speaker 4: Using too much or too little of any ingredients like flour, eggs,

1168
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 4: or butter, or even their starting temperature will not give

1169
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 4: you the result you want. Yeah. I think I might

1170
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 4: have been like Great British Baking Show or something like that,

1171
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:50,000
Speaker 4: where they were like cooking is an art, baking is

1172
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:53,000
Speaker 4: a science, and making it which just mad the best

1173
00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 4: way to describe it.

1174
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:58,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean like it's just so precise.

1175
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 3: Literally chemistal will transform.

1176
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:04,040
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, there's you know, yeah, there's just no wiggle room.

1177
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 3: No, not at all.

1178
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 4: Jane is demanding that I either stop selling Grandma's cake

1179
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:10,200
Speaker 4: or teach her the recipe so that she can too.

1180
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:13,040
Speaker 4: I refused and said that she was a hypocrite for

1181
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,360
Speaker 4: wanting to sell the cake herself. After getting angry at

1182
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,360
Speaker 4: me for doing so good. Point when she gave me

1183
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 4: the recipe, Grandma said that her biggest regret was never

1184
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,279
Speaker 4: opening a bakery like she had dreamed, which was my

1185
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 4: ultimate dream. Now too, I think she'd love so many

1186
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,560
Speaker 4: people enjoying her cake. Of course she would, am I

1187
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 4: the a hole and we do have some comments, But

1188
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 4: what do you think, No, no part of me.

1189
00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 2: No you You even just said it's like it was

1190
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 2: your dream to have a bakery and sell this cake.

1191
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 2: Now you're doing that. It's like, yeah, you've made her

1192
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:40,840
Speaker 2: dreams come true.

1193
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

1194
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:41,879
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1195
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 4: I think like on paper, I want to be like, well,

1196
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 4: she's just doing the same thing as you, Like she

1197
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 4: just wants to sell it just like how you are.

1198
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 4: But the way that Opie started her business obviously is

1199
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:57,160
Speaker 4: such a more like pure way to start us. It

1200
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 4: just kind of happened to grow into a business. It

1201
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 4: didn't really like, you know, she wasn't like, oh, let

1202
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 4: me make money off of this.

1203
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's not saying you're only making money because Grandma's cakes.

1204
00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:12,120
Speaker 2: Give me Grandma's cake recipe. I'm making some cake money now.

1205
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:12,799
Speaker 3: Right right.

1206
00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 4: It's so much more genuine reasoning and intention. So the

1207
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,400
Speaker 4: comment number one says, not the a hole. She wants

1208
00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 4: to do what you were doing, And you are right.

1209
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:23,239
Speaker 4: She had the chance to get the recipe herself, but

1210
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 4: she obviously didn't care to. She doesn't care that it

1211
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 4: was Grandma's recipe. She just cares that now she can

1212
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:30,839
Speaker 4: profit off of it. If I can't be successful, neither

1213
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:32,920
Speaker 4: can you, is what she's saying, Because she says that

1214
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 4: you're only really successful because of the recipe. And if

1215
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 4: she can't use the recipe too, then she wants you

1216
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,759
Speaker 4: to stop using it. The very thing that she says

1217
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 4: is making you successful. You don't owe her the recipe.

1218
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:45,239
Speaker 4: If it had meant anything to her, she would have

1219
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:47,239
Speaker 4: asked for it. Back then, you and your grandma both

1220
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:48,759
Speaker 4: shared a love of baking, and you were the only

1221
00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 4: one to inquire about the recipe. So it's now yours

1222
00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 4: to pass on to whoever you wish, also baking my taste.

1223
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 4: How bad does she do that with the batter that

1224
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 4: has raw eggs and stuff and making sure that nothing's

1225
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:02,280
Speaker 4: off off too much for it to rise or reacts

1226
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 4: like it's supposed to. I bet even if you give

1227
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:06,319
Speaker 4: her the recipe she probably would do the same to

1228
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 4: it and try to one up you.

1229
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:09,480
Speaker 3: Coming over two says not the a hole.

1230
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:12,160
Speaker 4: The people saying everybody sucks here and that you should

1231
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 4: share the recipe for the sake of family harmony are

1232
00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 4: giving you bad advice.

1233
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 3: Guard that recipe with your life.

1234
00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:21,839
Speaker 4: You've created a viable, growing business, and who knows how

1235
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 4: far you can take it. You could become the next

1236
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 4: Hostess or Little Debbie, anything as possible, all thanks to

1237
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 4: Grandma's secret family recipe a great marketing gimmick. If you

1238
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 4: share the recipe with your cousin, she could sabotage your

1239
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,640
Speaker 4: success by spreading the recipe around. Sometimes you gotta be

1240
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:40,239
Speaker 4: ruthless when you build a multimillion dollar business. The rest

1241
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 4: of the family will take your side in any dispute

1242
00:53:42,560 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 4: with your cousin. She had her chance and she blew it.

1243
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 4: That's not your problem or responsibility. I wish you the

1244
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 4: best of luck, and we do have an update.

1245
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:51,920
Speaker 2: Hooray, hooray.

1246
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:53,279
Speaker 3: Shall we get into it.

1247
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 2: I want to hear about these cakes me.

1248
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 3: Too, All right, updates. Firstly, I open my bakery.

1249
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:02,959
Speaker 4: Yes, I found a great spot near my city's office park,

1250
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,920
Speaker 4: main communter route to the big city of caterer takeout

1251
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 4: deli that closed. We've been opened since June and business

1252
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 4: has been great with all the morning and evening traffic

1253
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 4: and the lunch crowd from the business park. We sell cakes, pastries, breads, buns,

1254
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,839
Speaker 4: et cetera typical bakery stuff. I also have a cook

1255
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 4: who comes in for a few hours in the morning

1256
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:24,480
Speaker 4: to do eggs and stuff for breakfast, sandwiches and wraps

1257
00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:27,400
Speaker 4: for the office folks. A few weeks after I opened,

1258
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 4: to Jane stopped by. She apologized and confirmed what I

1259
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 4: and others had suspected. She only cared about the cake

1260
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 4: recipe because she was jealous of my success with my

1261
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 4: custom cake business. She had always wanted to work in food,

1262
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 4: but hated the idea of losing her evenings and working

1263
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 4: in a high pressure kitchen.

1264
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:47,920
Speaker 2: Oh, I've always wanted to work in food, but I

1265
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 2: would hate it.

1266
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:52,040
Speaker 4: I absolutely hate this job that I'm mad at you

1267
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 4: for having.

1268
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 2: It's like being like I've always wanted to be an astronaut,

1269
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 2: but I hate math and science.

1270
00:54:56,680 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

1271
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 4: So when I suddenly I started doing so well, she

1272
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 4: thought that she could do the same, but didn't know

1273
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:06,399
Speaker 4: how to start her own catering business. I apologized too

1274
00:55:06,480 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 4: for not wanting to share the recipe, but I was

1275
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:10,200
Speaker 4: afraid that she would ruin my business by putting out

1276
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:12,880
Speaker 4: bad cakes, and no one would want to buy mine either.

1277
00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:15,319
Speaker 4: I then offered to have her come in three days

1278
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 4: a week to offer a soup or stew of the

1279
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:20,320
Speaker 4: day during the land thrush. I had the extra kitchen

1280
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 4: space for it, and soups and stews really do suit

1281
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,400
Speaker 4: her style of cooking to taste. She loved the idea,

1282
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:27,399
Speaker 4: and they were an instant hit.

1283
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:30,879
Speaker 2: There you go, What kind of eatery is this?

1284
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 3: They got it all, man, They.

1285
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 2: Got they got weird cakes and.

1286
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:36,000
Speaker 3: Soup and soup.

1287
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:39,400
Speaker 4: Well, they've got like breakfast sandwiches and pastries and stuff.

1288
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:42,920
Speaker 3: I could see that they got breakfast Samis got breakfast sammis.

1289
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 2: No, I just thought they were like cake bakery.

1290
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 3: Well there was both.

1291
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 2: They're expanded, well, clearly they're expanding orders.

1292
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:51,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1293
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 4: She had complete freedom to create whatever two kinds of

1294
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 4: soups she wanted each day, just adding things on a whim,

1295
00:55:56,800 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 4: and they were always delicious. They got very popular quid

1296
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:03,480
Speaker 4: with the office folk, since there aren't many other takeout

1297
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:06,799
Speaker 4: options nearby without driving about an extra five to ten

1298
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 4: minutes out Besides two fast food burger places, we soon

1299
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 4: expanded to her coming in every weekday and then making

1300
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:16,320
Speaker 4: a cold soup option on Fridays for the Saturday lunch

1301
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 4: closed on Sundays. It's been a great arrangement since she

1302
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 4: keeps her evenings and weekends and gets that creative control.

1303
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:24,839
Speaker 4: In the last couple of weeks, we've also started doing

1304
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:30,359
Speaker 4: take home heat and serve dishes too, like lasagna, chicken steak, tacos,

1305
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 4: or sub kits, et cetera. I'll do the pasta and

1306
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:35,800
Speaker 4: bread and she does the other prep and sauces.

1307
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 3: So far, they've been very popular.

1308
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 4: She's tried her hand at baking a time or two

1309
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,840
Speaker 4: again and has declared that she just doesn't have the

1310
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 4: patience for it and hasn't asked for the recipe again,

1311
00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 4: nor has any other family member.

1312
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:48,800
Speaker 3: There is a little bit more into the story. Shall

1313
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 3: we just roll right into it?

1314
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think. Look, it's a business decision. You take

1315
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:55,880
Speaker 2: fam out of it. It was just straight business. And

1316
00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 2: then if you want to make it about the family,

1317
00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, you didn't ask and now it's my

1318
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 2: secret recipe that was passed down to me that has

1319
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:07,880
Speaker 2: meaning to me now, right exactly, So maybe if you

1320
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 2: would have asked, you would have the recipe.

1321
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, sorry, ps for those wondering. Grandma had a standing

1322
00:57:13,120 --> 00:57:15,960
Speaker 4: offer for over a year before she passed away, when

1323
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:18,480
Speaker 4: she wasn't yet sick enough to stop baking, for anyone

1324
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:21,600
Speaker 4: to come over and she'd personally walk them through the recipe.

1325
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:23,840
Speaker 4: She was very sad and disappointed that I was the

1326
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:26,240
Speaker 4: only one who did so. All the other bakers would

1327
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:29,920
Speaker 4: always make excuses about time or say later later. Shortly

1328
00:57:29,960 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 4: before she passed away, she said that since I was

1329
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:34,919
Speaker 4: the only one who bothered, the recipe was mine. Now

1330
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 4: it's still my best selling cake. If someone responds, Grandma

1331
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 4: would be happy because the right person got her recipe

1332
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 4: and now it lives on in a real bakery, just

1333
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 4: like she dreamed of. Someone else responds, but she doesn't

1334
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:49,160
Speaker 4: know that. All she knew was decades of everyone loving

1335
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:51,520
Speaker 4: her cake. Then when she offered to share the recipe,

1336
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:54,480
Speaker 4: everyone but oh p saying nah. Coming Number two says,

1337
00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:57,000
Speaker 4: I'm not saying I want the recipe. I too lack

1338
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 4: the patience for baking nowadays, which sucks for Kolla used

1339
00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:00,160
Speaker 4: to love baking.

1340
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 3: But I'm curious.

1341
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,720
Speaker 4: Af where op is and or what the cake tastes

1342
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:06,720
Speaker 4: like that makes it so unique.

1343
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:08,320
Speaker 3: And that's the end of that story.

1344
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:10,280
Speaker 2: Sam here og host.

1345
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to these stories, but here's three

1346
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:13,560
Speaker 1: minutes fads from our sponsors.

1347
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:19,280
Speaker 2: First, my family is unsupportive of my marriage because I

1348
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 2: can't get married before my siblings.

1349
00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:23,440
Speaker 3: Gotta win lions.

1350
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:27,520
Speaker 2: Just how it works, it's there are rules. I twenty

1351
00:58:27,560 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 2: three female, have always been the black sheep of my family.

1352
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:33,280
Speaker 2: Growing up. I was treated like a servant and always

1353
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 2: felt unwanted. My family constantly belittled me, and I always

1354
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 2: felt like I didn't belong by the way. This comes

1355
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 2: from user no Crazy forty five, forty four and if

1356
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:44,280
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1357
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:48,880
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So a year ago I

1358
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 2: met my now husband, twenty six male, at the gym.

1359
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,479
Speaker 2: He asked for a number, but I made it clear

1360
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 2: I don't date casually. I date to find a life partner.

1361
00:58:58,440 --> 00:59:00,280
Speaker 2: I told him up front that I don't flow or

1362
00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 2: have casual relationships, and I don't believe in spy us

1363
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 2: asleep before marriage. I also explained my process. We would

1364
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:09,960
Speaker 2: go on a couple dates to discuss important topics like family,

1365
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:13,880
Speaker 2: future goals, children, and our likes and dislikes in a person.

1366
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 2: Then if we both felt aligned, he would then ask

1367
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:20,400
Speaker 2: my family for my hand in marriage. He respected my values,

1368
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:22,400
Speaker 2: so I gave him my number. After a few months

1369
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:26,040
Speaker 2: of dating and deep conversations, we both knew we wanted

1370
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:28,720
Speaker 2: to get married. He asked when he could come to

1371
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:31,600
Speaker 2: ask my family for my hand. Since I don't have

1372
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:33,680
Speaker 2: a good relationship with my dad, who lives in my

1373
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 2: home country, we barely talk. I told him I'd speak

1374
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 2: to my mom to arrange something. When I told her,

1375
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:44,160
Speaker 2: she was furious. She said, you're the youngest in the family.

1376
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 2: You can't marry before your siblings, it's embarrassing for them.

1377
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 2: My siblings agreed, saying I needed to wait a few years.

1378
00:59:52,840 --> 00:59:57,040
Speaker 2: I refused. This was my life and their embarrassment wasn't

1379
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 2: my problem. My mom told me I won't allow this

1380
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:04,560
Speaker 2: marriage and insulted me, calling me names and how I

1381
01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 2: never listened. Despite this, I told my now husband everything

1382
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:10,480
Speaker 2: and he supported me. He suggested we go to my

1383
01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 2: home country so he can ask for my dad for

1384
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:16,760
Speaker 2: his blessing instead. I told him I wasn't really comfortable

1385
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 2: with that right now, and it's also very unnecessary, so

1386
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:22,960
Speaker 2: we agreed on just calling him instead. A few days later,

1387
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:24,959
Speaker 2: we met at a cafe in the evening to call

1388
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,800
Speaker 2: my dad. Although I was nervous, my dad didn't seem

1389
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:30,280
Speaker 2: to care much and gave his approval. I told my

1390
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 2: mom the next day or what my dad said, but

1391
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 2: she was still angry, saying, you're not marrying him now,

1392
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,320
Speaker 2: you have to wait. She insulted me again, wishing she'd

1393
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:42,360
Speaker 2: never had me. WHOA. I couldn't take it anymore and

1394
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 2: left the house to clear my head.

1395
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:46,360
Speaker 3: That's a big words coming from mom.

1396
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 2: I say, A, la, la la, I'm not listening. Yeah,

1397
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:52,840
Speaker 2: I'm not listening. What are we talking about. Also, Dad's like,

1398
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:56,800
Speaker 2: I don't even care marry a stick, marry a rock.

1399
01:00:57,120 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 2: I don't care. Yeah, which is I guess probably on

1400
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 2: the same level of bad. Sure, you know what I mean.

1401
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 2: Like I was gonna be like, I guess it's a

1402
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:06,320
Speaker 2: little better, but I thought about it, like, no, it's

1403
01:01:06,400 --> 01:01:09,080
Speaker 2: just as bad as being told like you're you can't.

1404
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:12,600
Speaker 4: Marry Yeah, just dad don't care about who you marry.

1405
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 4: It's like, well married white calling me Yeah, yeah, okay,

1406
01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 4: kind of big news.

1407
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,400
Speaker 2: All right, Well, yeah, I get married whoever you want.

1408
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:25,280
Speaker 2: I don't care. I called my now husband, and although

1409
01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:27,400
Speaker 2: he was busy at work, he made time for me.

1410
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 2: He suggested we have dinner that evening to talk. During

1411
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 2: the dinner, he reassured me, saying, it doesn't matter what

1412
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:35,919
Speaker 2: your family thinks. If you want to marry me, let's

1413
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 2: do it and have the wedding. We started planning our wedding,

1414
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:41,520
Speaker 2: which my family didn't know about secret wedding. A few

1415
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:44,000
Speaker 2: weeks later, my sister found out and told my mom,

1416
01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:48,200
Speaker 2: sparking another fight. My mom called me names and nearly

1417
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 2: removed me from the house. When I told my now husband.

1418
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:54,640
Speaker 2: He suggested we rent an apartment for me to move

1419
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 2: into early alone, instead of waiting until we get married.

1420
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:01,080
Speaker 2: I didn't want to spend on necessary money since he

1421
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:03,840
Speaker 2: was already paying for his own apartment, but he insisted,

1422
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 2: saying he could handle it. He's quite wealthy, though my

1423
01:02:06,880 --> 01:02:09,440
Speaker 2: family didn't know this. Within a month or more, he

1424
01:02:09,520 --> 01:02:12,600
Speaker 2: found an apartment through someone he knew, and I moved in,

1425
01:02:12,680 --> 01:02:15,560
Speaker 2: despite my mom trying to make me stay because this

1426
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:18,280
Speaker 2: now meant I will spend more time with him, which

1427
01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:22,560
Speaker 2: she didn't want. Living on my own brought me peace. Ah,

1428
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,280
Speaker 2: yes it does. My now husband would usually visit for

1429
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 2: dinner to discuss wedding plans and other things, and everything

1430
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:32,400
Speaker 2: was coming together. His family was incredibly supportive, especially his mom,

1431
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:35,400
Speaker 2: who helped me with many details. When it came time

1432
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:38,120
Speaker 2: to send invitations, his mom encouraged me to invite my

1433
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:41,440
Speaker 2: family out of respect for yourself, as she put it,

1434
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:44,480
Speaker 2: I did, but my family rejected the invitations, calling my

1435
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:47,840
Speaker 2: wedding disgusting, shameful, and poor. La la la la. I'm

1436
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 2: not listening.

1437
01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:52,600
Speaker 3: It's the whole family is on board with this tradition.

1438
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 2: And they're just like, yeah, and you're so mean, you're

1439
01:02:55,640 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 2: embarrassing us. So we're gonna just be brutally mean to you.

1440
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 4: I wonder what culture this is that like, for this

1441
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:08,040
Speaker 4: is a very strict tradition, Like all my siblings have

1442
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:10,560
Speaker 4: to fall in love at the exact same age, in

1443
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 4: the exact same order that they were born in.

1444
01:03:12,880 --> 01:03:16,800
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, the younger sibling getting married is embarrassing for

1445
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 2: the older siblings. Like what it's like, Well, it's on you, Yeah,

1446
01:03:20,640 --> 01:03:23,720
Speaker 2: it's on you, dude. The wedding day was beautiful, everything

1447
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:26,720
Speaker 2: I dreamed of. It was far from the small, cheap

1448
01:03:26,720 --> 01:03:29,680
Speaker 2: event my family had assumed it would be. The Next day,

1449
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 2: I posted photos online and suddenly my family started calling

1450
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 2: and texting. They were shocked at how elegant and expensive

1451
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:39,560
Speaker 2: the wedding looked. They demanded to know why I hadn't

1452
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:42,280
Speaker 2: told them that the wedding will be quite big, and

1453
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:46,080
Speaker 2: asked for my husband's number, clearly interested in his money.

1454
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:49,480
Speaker 2: Now knowing that he had some, I warned my husband

1455
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:51,400
Speaker 2: not to give them a penny, no matter what. If

1456
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:54,600
Speaker 2: they ever contacted him somehow. Before our honeymoon, I blocked

1457
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 2: them completely to ensure we wouldn't be disturbed It's been

1458
01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,240
Speaker 2: a month and a half since the wedding, and I've

1459
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 2: never been happy. Cutting off my toxic family was the

1460
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 2: best decision I've ever made. My husband and I are

1461
01:04:04,160 --> 01:04:07,320
Speaker 2: building a beautiful life together free from their negativity. Some

1462
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:10,480
Speaker 2: people believe I'm wrong for cutting off my toxic family,

1463
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 2: but am I Really it's mostly relatives that tell me

1464
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:16,560
Speaker 2: I'm wrong because family comes first before your partner. I

1465
01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:19,080
Speaker 2: just wanted to clear that up because some people had

1466
01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 2: asked about it. Thank you so much everyone for the support.

1467
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,360
Speaker 2: I really appreciate it. I never thought strangers would be

1468
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:28,440
Speaker 2: better than your own blood, but hey, here we are. Anyways.

1469
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:31,480
Speaker 2: Thanks again. I unfortunately can't answer you all, but I

1470
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 2: will just read them. I'll make sure to update you

1471
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:38,480
Speaker 2: guys if anything happens. Wish you all the best and

1472
01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:39,280
Speaker 2: there's enough day.

1473
01:04:39,480 --> 01:04:42,000
Speaker 3: Oh boy, how are we feeling? What are we thinking?

1474
01:04:42,040 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 3: Over there?

1475
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:44,640
Speaker 2: I'm collecting thoughts.

1476
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:47,760
Speaker 4: I still don't understand why the whole family is like

1477
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:50,560
Speaker 4: mad about this. I feel like this is only now

1478
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:54,280
Speaker 4: an issue of like the relationship over the family because

1479
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:55,800
Speaker 4: the family is so mad about this.

1480
01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:56,360
Speaker 3: Like I feel like.

1481
01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 4: People just want to be like, hey, do what your

1482
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:02,200
Speaker 4: family says? So that we don't have problems anymore. And

1483
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 4: it's like, you guys have the problem that's not on

1484
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 4: me to fix, right.

1485
01:05:06,120 --> 01:05:08,800
Speaker 2: You were the ones who've had an issue with me

1486
01:05:08,920 --> 01:05:12,520
Speaker 2: getting married. I never had that issue. Yeah, here's an update.

1487
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:15,960
Speaker 2: And it still honestly feels unreal to me. I can't

1488
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:18,560
Speaker 2: believe I'm even riding this. It just doesn't seem possible

1489
01:05:18,560 --> 01:05:20,919
Speaker 2: that people would do something like this. Oh my god,

1490
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:22,640
Speaker 2: what's it gonna be? About a week ago, I was

1491
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:25,240
Speaker 2: home alone watching a movie in the living room. My

1492
01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:27,480
Speaker 2: husband was out of town for a short work trip

1493
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,360
Speaker 2: just one night, so not far and suddenly I hear

1494
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,120
Speaker 2: loud banging on the front door. When I got closer,

1495
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 2: I recognized my mother's voice yelling, along with one of

1496
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 2: my siblings. I immediately got scared and looked through the people,

1497
01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:43,240
Speaker 2: not daring to open the door. She screamed for me

1498
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:45,480
Speaker 2: to let them in, but I didn't, and then came

1499
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:48,160
Speaker 2: the threats and name calling, and it was terrifying and

1500
01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:53,200
Speaker 2: also very crazy. Yeah, agreed, Yeah, all of that agreed.

1501
01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:56,080
Speaker 2: After about ten minutes of them yelling with no response

1502
01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:59,640
Speaker 2: from me, I suddenly heard something smashing. I was confused

1503
01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 2: at first, but when I looked through the people again,

1504
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:03,600
Speaker 2: I saw them smashing the window of my husband's car.

1505
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, he has two cars and he was using

1506
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:09,760
Speaker 2: one of them that day. I was so shocked, I

1507
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,160
Speaker 2: just froze, to be honest, I didn't even think to

1508
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:14,440
Speaker 2: call Lane when at first I've never seen her like this,

1509
01:06:14,560 --> 01:06:16,960
Speaker 2: and even though she's been awful before, this felt like

1510
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:20,439
Speaker 2: something else entirely. It was scary and chaotic, and once

1511
01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:23,680
Speaker 2: I heard them drove off, I called the police. I

1512
01:06:23,720 --> 01:06:26,280
Speaker 2: didn't even tell my husband right away, because I didn't

1513
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:29,400
Speaker 2: want to stress him while he was away and likely exhausted.

1514
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:32,520
Speaker 2: The police arrived within minutes, and when I opened the door,

1515
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 2: they pointed out a note taped to it. The note

1516
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:38,040
Speaker 2: went something like this, we know where you live now.

1517
01:06:38,200 --> 01:06:41,120
Speaker 2: You can't run from us forever. Sooner or later you'll

1518
01:06:41,160 --> 01:06:43,880
Speaker 2: come back begging for forgiveness, but by then it'll be

1519
01:06:43,960 --> 01:06:47,120
Speaker 2: too late. We won't take you back after your husband leaves.

1520
01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:49,520
Speaker 2: I don't know why they think he'll leave me. We

1521
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:51,600
Speaker 2: know where he works, we know he's on a work trip.

1522
01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:54,840
Speaker 2: Don't underestimate us. He can't protect you all the time,

1523
01:06:55,040 --> 01:06:56,600
Speaker 2: or is he even safe himself.

1524
01:06:56,720 --> 01:07:00,200
Speaker 3: This is a threat, just straight up a threat from

1525
01:07:00,480 --> 01:07:01,080
Speaker 3: her family.

1526
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:01,520
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1527
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:05,000
Speaker 2: It reads like it was like cut out of the magazine. Yeah,

1528
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:08,600
Speaker 2: like the newspaper clippings. Yeah, like they've made you a

1529
01:07:08,720 --> 01:07:09,800
Speaker 2: ransom letter.

1530
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:10,960
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

1531
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:13,640
Speaker 2: Police can take that and go hey. So this is

1532
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:17,760
Speaker 2: pretty clear evidence of threats against her safety and well

1533
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:19,040
Speaker 2: being because.

1534
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:21,680
Speaker 4: Like they technically didn't say like I'm going to hurt you,

1535
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:24,800
Speaker 4: but we know where you live, we know where you work.

1536
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 3: Are you even safe?

1537
01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:30,080
Speaker 2: They're saying at any point we can get you, yeah,

1538
01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:33,120
Speaker 2: which is crazy insane. There was also a lot of

1539
01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:36,360
Speaker 2: name calling and personal threats. I was shaking so badly

1540
01:07:36,440 --> 01:07:38,880
Speaker 2: I could barely hold the paper at this point. And

1541
01:07:39,000 --> 01:07:41,960
Speaker 2: that's what I call my husband. He didn't answer right away,

1542
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:44,960
Speaker 2: but when he did pick up, he immediately sensed something

1543
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:47,280
Speaker 2: was wrong just from my voice. But thank god, he

1544
01:07:47,400 --> 01:07:49,840
Speaker 2: was safe himself. I told him everything, and of course

1545
01:07:49,880 --> 01:07:52,280
Speaker 2: he wanted to come back right away. I told him

1546
01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:55,080
Speaker 2: not to. He'd already done a full day of work

1547
01:07:55,120 --> 01:07:58,400
Speaker 2: and driven three hours there, but of course he didn't listen,

1548
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:00,880
Speaker 2: so he drove another three hour just to come back.

1549
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:03,120
Speaker 2: He was gonna come back the next day anyway. While

1550
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:05,400
Speaker 2: he was on his way. The police collected the evidence,

1551
01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:07,560
Speaker 2: and his parents came to pick me up. I stayed

1552
01:08:07,560 --> 01:08:09,840
Speaker 2: at their place for the night. I couldn't sleep at all,

1553
01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:12,440
Speaker 2: and I was wide awake until my husband arrived. And

1554
01:08:12,520 --> 01:08:14,640
Speaker 2: the moment he did, he didn't even check his car

1555
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:16,800
Speaker 2: or go home. He came straight to me.

1556
01:08:17,439 --> 01:08:17,759
Speaker 3: Help.

1557
01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:20,519
Speaker 2: I love this man. We do have a little bit

1558
01:08:20,560 --> 01:08:22,000
Speaker 2: more story left.

1559
01:08:23,160 --> 01:08:23,879
Speaker 3: I'm shocked.

1560
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:26,800
Speaker 2: Keep that thing on, you, get a pepper spray, gets

1561
01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:29,920
Speaker 2: something that you could protect yourself with. Yeah, you've been

1562
01:08:30,040 --> 01:08:31,280
Speaker 2: threatened openly.

1563
01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:32,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1564
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:36,240
Speaker 2: I hope that the rest of the story involves the police. Yeah,

1565
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:40,599
Speaker 2: getting involved in a way that matters, right, Get some.

1566
01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:44,439
Speaker 4: Good security systems, go in. What the heck this is like?

1567
01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:46,800
Speaker 4: So not where I thought this story was gonna.

1568
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:49,080
Speaker 2: Go, Dad, not at all. No, didn't think it was

1569
01:08:49,120 --> 01:08:53,200
Speaker 2: going there. No crazy. Yeah, first thing the next morning

1570
01:08:53,520 --> 01:08:57,120
Speaker 2: he contacted his lawyer. Now everything is being handled legally,

1571
01:08:57,160 --> 01:08:59,400
Speaker 2: and we're filing a lawsuit. At this point, I don't

1572
01:08:59,400 --> 01:09:02,000
Speaker 2: even care about anything else. I just want these people

1573
01:09:02,040 --> 01:09:04,760
Speaker 2: completely out of our lives. But I'm not sure what

1574
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:07,080
Speaker 2: we'll do about our house now. We don't want them

1575
01:09:07,120 --> 01:09:09,160
Speaker 2: to know where we live or where my husband works.

1576
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:12,400
Speaker 2: We just moved in recently, but moving again feels impossible

1577
01:09:12,479 --> 01:09:15,639
Speaker 2: right now, and obviously we can't change his work location.

1578
01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:19,120
Speaker 2: Any suggestions on what we should do, and that's the

1579
01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:20,320
Speaker 2: end of that story.