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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour. Thanks so

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Speaker 1: much for joining us today, Kathy, are you so excited

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Speaker 1: to be here today?

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Speaker 2: I am so excited because we have one of our favorites.

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Speaker 2: We have a very special guest returning to Golden Hour.

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Speaker 2: Please welcome from season ten of Paradise, who unfortunately left

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Speaker 2: before I got there. Hockeyhikee Hiaki.

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Speaker 3: You could have just said all of what was on

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Speaker 3: Paradise with you. You didn't have to say, oh, he

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Speaker 3: loved unfortunately before girl, we know you were.

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Speaker 1: Only there for a minute.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back that. We're so glad you're back on Happy.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I'm glad I'm here as well. And I'm

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Speaker 3: your favorite, not one of your favorites.

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Speaker 2: You're well yeah, let me just say I just before

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Speaker 2: we get into anything, I'm just gonna give a little

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Speaker 2: teaser here. Susan, while she is smiling, is broken hearted

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Speaker 2: because you've ditched her for another. Apparently we're gonna get it.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm happy for you.

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Speaker 3: So it is.

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Speaker 1: She's appearing a lot in your photos.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, what's mine is mine? You know, I

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Speaker 3: got everybody know?

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Speaker 2: Ye, what's her name? Now that I've heard it's Monica.

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Speaker 3: Her name is Monica.

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Speaker 1: Did we meet?

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Speaker 2: How do we meet?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? So it's actually let's start. It's a long story.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: So she's actually a person that I dated in my past.

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Speaker 3: I met her via hinge once upon a time. So

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Speaker 3: we dated from twenty twenty one to twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 3: and then we had some unfortunate things happen within her

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Speaker 3: family dynamic. That's the nicest way for me to say it.

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Speaker 3: I can be very upfront if you'd.

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Speaker 2: Like me to, but that's where want you to be

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Speaker 2: out in the front.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, I mean there was racist things that

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Speaker 3: were happening in the family at the time. Yeah, it's okay,

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Speaker 3: you're good, We're all good. When I came off Bachelorette,

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Speaker 3: I got like a text message with her and him,

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Speaker 3: with Monica and her brother in it saying like you

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Speaker 3: s were your stupid N word with the er at

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Speaker 3: the end. So it was just like oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: but but you know, it's very unfortunate.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I'm sorry who wrote those things to you?

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Speaker 3: Uh? Her brother her names, his name, I'm not.

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Speaker 2: Gonna I just didn't know who.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, her his older Yeah, her older brother. But It's

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Speaker 3: funny because he put us in the chat which we

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Speaker 3: weren't talking, and then it kind of brought us together.

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Speaker 3: So it was like it was the complete opposite of

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Speaker 3: what he thought.

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Speaker 1: And two years.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm happy with her, and like I've told her, like,

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Speaker 3: she would never have to cut off her family, if

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Speaker 3: you know, because I love her for who she is,

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Speaker 3: Like I would want her to have that family dynamic

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Speaker 3: because family is huge to me.

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Speaker 1: After the chat, like yeah, no.

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Speaker 3: I mean she she after that whole entire situation happened,

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Speaker 3: she made her first move with me like, hey, like,

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Speaker 3: your social media is awful, I can help you out.

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Speaker 2: Wait, I'm sorry, guys, I am not following this. She

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Speaker 2: said you dated her from twenty one to twenty three.

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Speaker 2: We're now in twenty twenty six. So what how did

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Speaker 2: we get back to get thirt Did I miss something here?

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Speaker 3: No, you didn't. I was getting into it.

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Speaker 2: Listen, I have a plane to catch in two hours,

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Speaker 2: so you know, if we could get to the salient information,

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Speaker 2: I'd really appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: No, I get it, I get it. I get it.

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Speaker 3: So basically, what I'm saying is is that whole seascenario

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Speaker 3: happened and you know Monica, she's absolutely anti racist and

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Speaker 3: with all that, and she basically told me like, I

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Speaker 3: don't want anything to do with my family because if

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Speaker 3: I do have kids with you, my kids are going

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Speaker 3: to be black. So ultimately speaking, they need to do

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Speaker 3: intense therapy and then they also need to take accountability

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Speaker 3: with certain things that's not okay.

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Speaker 2: So and this comes how it was reissed back to

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Speaker 2: get third. How did we rekind how did you rekindle?

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Speaker 2: You said you didd I.

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Speaker 3: Just told you, he said up the chest, Yeah, he

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Speaker 3: said the text. And then she made the move, was like, hey,

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Speaker 3: your social media isn't good? Can I help you with

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Speaker 3: your social media? So she helped to me with my

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Speaker 3: social media, and I.

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Speaker 2: Was apparently she helped you with a whole lot more.

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Speaker 3: No, actually not in the beginning. Not in the beginning.

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Speaker 3: Was strictly business at the beginning. And I respected that

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Speaker 3: from her because you know, if it was me, I

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Speaker 3: would have went in straight away right away.

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Speaker 2: Can Susan help him out here? If you think that

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Speaker 2: Monica came back into strictly to use your term, help

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Speaker 2: you with your social media? You need a dating advisor.

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Speaker 2: And Susan and I are here to help you out.

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Speaker 1: To there's something you just said about her that she's

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Speaker 1: definitely not prejudiced. And why did the breakup happen then?

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Speaker 1: Because her family?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so in the beginning, it was more like the

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Speaker 3: whole scenario happened with her family at when I took

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Speaker 3: her mom out for Mother's Day for yeah, for her,

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Speaker 3: for Mother's Day for her, and I didn't even get

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Speaker 3: to take my own mom out that day, but I

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Speaker 3: took her out this Sunday. Besides the point, besides the.

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Speaker 1: Point, always like that.

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Speaker 3: But she first started out with saying like, hey, like,

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Speaker 3: you know, I thought your person was this other person

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Speaker 3: that you were dating in junior high and I was

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Speaker 3: two years in dating Monica at the time, and she

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Speaker 3: was like, yeah, you were supposed to marry that guy.

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Speaker 3: He was the guy for you. And I'm just kind

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Speaker 3: of like, yo, like, yeah, okay, I guess I'm not enough.

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Speaker 3: What am I invisible? But yeah, there was just a

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Speaker 3: lot of things that happened in the I'm kind of

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Speaker 3: trying to not say exactly the things that kind of

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Speaker 3: went on in a sense microaggression. Microaggressions go ahead.

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Speaker 2: No, So I'm curious how because you previously did her like,

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Speaker 2: how serious are you now with her?

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Speaker 3: Like I would say, in this stage of my life

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Speaker 3: as a whole, I'm not wasting my time.

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Speaker 2: Are we moving in together?

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Speaker 3: Like? Uh, we're actually in that process right now?

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Speaker 1: Whoa, this is big serious?

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Speaker 3: What I mean? She she?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Well you susan in me to find out her

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Speaker 2: ring size. I mean, where are we?

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Speaker 3: Let oh I know her ring size? Alreadio, I have

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Speaker 3: that in my phone.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so this is where you say, can I do

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Speaker 2: the wedding?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 3: So right, No, it was more like it was just mutual.

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Speaker 3: We just kind of just came together in a sense,

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Speaker 3: right because I was already this is back in Wisconsin

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Speaker 3: in a sense, so I moved back to Chicago. So

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Speaker 3: and it's such a messy story with how this all

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Speaker 3: worked out, but I just watched you guys to focus

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Speaker 3: on the point is that when all that happened, she

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Speaker 3: checked in on me, made sure I was okay throughout

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Speaker 3: the whole entire process, and then she kind of slid

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Speaker 3: in with like, let me help you with your social media. Obviously,

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Speaker 3: I know she doesn't want to just work on my

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Speaker 3: social media, but I'm not going to say what is

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Speaker 3: it that you really want for me, It's not social media.

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Speaker 3: Do you want to get back together? This or that.

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Speaker 3: It's like a slow process. I would do the same

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Speaker 3: thing if I was in her shoes. I'm not going

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Speaker 3: to go straight in for the kill. I'm gonna go

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Speaker 3: in step by step on how I'm gonna try to

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Speaker 3: get them back. And it works, truthfully, because my social

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Speaker 3: media was bad. It's still not the best in the world.

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Speaker 3: But she's helped me out so much, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean. So I'm very thankful nonetheless about it. She's

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Speaker 3: she's been, she's been amazing.

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Speaker 2: And where do you live? Where do you guys live?

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Speaker 2: And what does she do for a living?

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Speaker 3: Chicago? And she's an instructional designer, so like it's like

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Speaker 3: what they do is kind of like they make manuals

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Speaker 3: for contractors, so people who work in like plants, they

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Speaker 3: make like step by step guides on how to do

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Speaker 3: their specific work or whatever.

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Speaker 2: A step by step guide how to get came back.

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Speaker 3: Or that too, or that too.

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Speaker 1: She was living in Chicago anyhow, No no, no, no, no, she

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Speaker 1: was living in Wisconsin.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, so now so now so we kind of

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Speaker 3: in a sense, Okay, let me just break everything down piece, Okay.

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Speaker 3: So twenty twenty three happens with the whole entire scenario

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Speaker 3: with her family, and a lot of things were kind

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Speaker 3: of escalating, so I kind of removed myself from there.

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Speaker 3: I leave Wisconsin at that time. I was actually living

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Speaker 3: with her at that specific time when I was with

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Speaker 3: her in twenty twenty three, So I leave, I go

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Speaker 3: with my mother. I leave, and I'm just kind of like, yo,

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Speaker 3: I'm not doing that. I can't deal with that. I'm

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Speaker 3: not going to marry somebody whose family treats me the

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Speaker 3: way that they treat me, even though I love her

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Speaker 3: so much. So like I kind of cut it off

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Speaker 3: cold turkey all that. In the third I'm at my

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Speaker 3: mother's house. And then also at the time, I still

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Speaker 3: have my Milwaukee address that I'm paying rent for because

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Speaker 3: I'm not leaving her cold turkey without paying the rent, right, So.

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Speaker 1: And then you did Paradise in Between again, and then

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Speaker 1: you went and did Paradise in Between exactly.

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Speaker 3: That's why I was going to kind of go into that.

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Speaker 3: So like in twenty twenty four happens, like I date around,

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Speaker 3: I get hit up to do the bachelorette So that

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Speaker 3: I'm like, cool, let's let's write, not like why not

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Speaker 3: do so? Then I do it. I get booted obviously,

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Speaker 3: you guys know. But after the fact, when I was

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Speaker 3: dropped on being on the batch therett, I got these

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Speaker 3: text message, like really aggressive text messages like hearty arc

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Speaker 3: get people and beat you up and all that, and

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Speaker 3: I'm just kind of confused, like where is this coming

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Speaker 3: from in the first place? Right, so dah, I'm just

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Speaker 3: so confused, like like what did I do in the

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Speaker 3: fuse place?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 3: The single man's trying to live his best life. But

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Speaker 3: in that case, she was like whoa like responding to

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Speaker 3: the text message like this is disgusting. I can't believe

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Speaker 3: you would say something like that. After all he's done

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Speaker 3: for us, Blase Bla actually made it made it very

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Speaker 3: easy for us to get back together because it was

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Speaker 3: kind of like us versus her family at that time.

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Speaker 3: So cool back in there, get we get talking and

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Speaker 3: she helps me out with my social media, Like she

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Speaker 3: first checks in me and she says like hey, like

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Speaker 3: I'm so sorry and I'm so sorry that like I

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Speaker 3: didn't see all this much sooner because she was picked

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Speaker 3: up on it. But when you're actually in it and.

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Speaker 1: Can see it fear blind sometimes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So how are things with her family now?

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Speaker 3: She does she doesn't talk with her family. I mean,

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Speaker 3: she has a cousin that she like reached out to

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Speaker 3: her after they saw that we were together, and she

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Speaker 3: was like, I always knew you guys were together, and

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Speaker 3: there was some reason why because her her partner is

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Speaker 3: black too. Let's also mention that so her partner's black too,

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Speaker 3: he doesn't go to their family functions because he's heard

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Speaker 3: about the things that her You.

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Speaker 2: Know, this whole thing, especially with what's going on in

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Speaker 2: our world right now, this is just more sadness. Why

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Speaker 2: can't people I mean, no one is color blind, but

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Speaker 2: why can't we just treat people with love and respect?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, No, I mean, it's beyond me, and

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Speaker 3: I try not to make try to get an understanding

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Speaker 3: on why, because there's no reason why. Right, It's a

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Speaker 3: learned behavior.

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Speaker 1: So let me ask you something. Did you learn anything

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Speaker 1: about relationships going through all the Bachelor stuff that you're

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Speaker 1: using now that you actually learn something that you're doing

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Speaker 1: something different with Monica this time so that it works.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think one of the things that

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Speaker 3: you start to really pay attention to is your time

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Speaker 3: because you have you kind of put in your mind

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Speaker 3: like you have endless time you're with her. You could

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Speaker 3: have another day with her tomorrow or next week, like

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Speaker 3: it doesn't matter. But actually every moment with her it

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Speaker 3: my john's a want goes to be herd but it doesn't.

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Speaker 3: It means so much to me, right because that time

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Speaker 3: that I'm with her, spending time, quality time, or anything

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Speaker 3: that we're doing in those cases, it's like it means

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Speaker 3: so much to me. And also like the effort behind

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Speaker 3: things means so much to me. So like if you're

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Speaker 3: going into a relationship and like you're giving half ass

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Speaker 3: or you're not showing your cards because you're scared and

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Speaker 3: all that, like that's the shit that's like never gonna

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Speaker 3: get you anywhere. So like coming in guns blazing, that's

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Speaker 3: my type of love. Like I'm trying to find my person.

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Speaker 3: I want to get married her and I dated before already.

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Speaker 3: We don't need to go through it all again. Let's

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Speaker 3: see what what are we going to do here? It's

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Speaker 3: either we're going to be a marriage married couple or

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Speaker 3: we're going.

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Speaker 1: To just okay, feel like you want to propose at something.

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Speaker 2: I was going to ask, are you planning engagement? Because

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Speaker 2: you could do it right here on our podcast. You

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Speaker 2: could let us know if that's happening. We wouldn't tell anyone.

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Speaker 3: I could come to Chicago, obviously, you obviously would keep

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Speaker 3: it to yourself. Of course you would. Right, you're gonna

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Speaker 3: put this on this badge happy our podcast, it's going

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Speaker 3: to stay. But yeah, no, I absolutely do want to

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Speaker 3: mirror here and I will propose.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you.

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Speaker 2: Wait, wait, do we have a month? You know I'm

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Speaker 2: a writer by try.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, let me just throw a month out there

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Speaker 3: so we're friends.

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Speaker 2: Can of course not okay, I think it's going to

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Speaker 2: happen in the first six months of this year, Susan,

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Speaker 2: we could. We can take this one of the bank.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, I came just remember see I'm right.

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Speaker 2: I told you I'm right.

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Speaker 3: And Susan, that's not you think it's nice out and

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Speaker 3: yeah maybe yeah.

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Speaker 2: And Susan is a wedding efficient so you know you

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Speaker 2: could do one stop shopping here.

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Speaker 3: To just conflict of interest. You assue me like, is

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Speaker 3: that I can't I can't do that? That's what I

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Speaker 3: couldn't Why I couldn't do it having Susan financed excuse

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Speaker 3: my language, excuse my language, pardon mean marrying you and

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Speaker 3: the wedding, and I'm like, yes to marry Monica. And

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Speaker 3: I'm like, damn because I tell Monica. I told Monica.

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Speaker 3: I was like, let me tell you this right now.

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Speaker 3: If Susan was on that beach, she'll love me to

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Speaker 3: love me to.

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Speaker 2: Came I was on the beach until now I know

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Speaker 2: where I stand.

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Speaker 3: No, you you're you're obviously your bad. Stop let's stop it,

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Speaker 3: all right, Susan. It's a different level with like this.

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Speaker 3: This has been brewing for this has been since she

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Speaker 3: was on Gary season. You know what I mean? Right

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Speaker 3: when she walked, I'm like that.

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Speaker 1: That's why I kept saying, I want to go to Paradise.

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Speaker 3: Boy.

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Speaker 1: We have changed everything.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Susan season, the ship has sailed? How keep is taken?

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Speaker 2: I want to know, other than this fabulous girl, what

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Speaker 2: is what else is going on in your life? What

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Speaker 2: you know? What can you tease anything for twenty twenty six?

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Speaker 2: What else you got? I know she's taking up a

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Speaker 2: lot of your time, But other than this fabulous Monica,

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Speaker 2: what else you got going on?

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Speaker 3: Yes, but I want to make sure it doesn't sound

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Speaker 3: suss because I was in between dating shows and she's

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Speaker 3: my ex. So I just want to make sure everything's clear.

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Speaker 3: On my part. I could always clear things up.

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Speaker 2: I don't want people it's clear as much very we

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Speaker 2: got it.

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Speaker 1: It's very clear.

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Speaker 3: I didn't explain it. Good forgive me.

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Speaker 2: So what else you got going on? You got anything

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Speaker 2: you can tease? We want to?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, with regards to what I got going on, I'm

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Speaker 3: getting into modeling, so I've been doing some modeling stuff.

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Speaker 3: Me and my you guys know, Brandon Jones, it's like

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Speaker 3: one of my best friends. He's from Michelle season. Him

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Speaker 3: and I are thinking about doing Miami and also New

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Speaker 3: York Fashion Week as well. So I'm getting my getting

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Speaker 3: my comm card ready so I show people about those things.

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Speaker 3: Let me see, let me see. I'm also looking forward

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Speaker 3: to the next season, twenty two of The Bachelorette.

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Speaker 1: Aren't you excited about her season? I mean, this is

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Speaker 1: gonna be good.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so it's gonna be. It's gonna be, it's

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Speaker 3: gonna be go, it's gonna go crazy, not gonna be

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Speaker 3: anything we've seen before. Let's put it down.

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Speaker 2: I agree. I'm very excited about it.

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Speaker 3: It's not gonna be anything we've seen before because Taylor

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Speaker 3: is really unpredictable and she's very.

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Speaker 2: Just like, do you know her personally, she's.

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Speaker 3: An acquaintance, Like I met her a few times, Like

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Speaker 3: I met her at the party, the Halloween party. I

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Speaker 3: met her at the hotel. I've got the hotel when

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Speaker 3: we're doing when we went to that Hulu event, yes

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Speaker 3: in La in the summertime. Yep, she was at the

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Speaker 3: hotel of filming and then I ran into them and

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Speaker 3: was super tense. So like, yeah, so I've had a couple,

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Speaker 3: you know, a couple of run ins with her. She's

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Speaker 3: cool peoples and everything, but she stands on business. Let

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Speaker 3: me tell you, if anything happens on my season happens

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Speaker 3: on her season, she not going for that. Let me

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Speaker 3: tell you that right now. She not going for She's

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Speaker 3: not going for any type of liar. She's not going

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Speaker 3: for any jummies.

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Speaker 1: That would be me or you, Kathy. We wouldn't tolerate

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Speaker 1: anything either.

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Speaker 2: But unfortunately, Susan, we haven't had the chance yet to

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Speaker 2: prove that.

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Speaker 3: What do you mean, Susan, you have you were with

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Speaker 3: Keith for a little bit.

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Speaker 2: You know, I was never with Keith together.

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Speaker 3: God stop it, stop it, Kathy, stop it. You gave

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Speaker 3: you didn't give it a shot at all.

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Speaker 2: Now we're friends.

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Speaker 1: Damn girl friend friend zone.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.

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Speaker 3: So me and Susan got our people right. If you

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Speaker 3: were to choose any man in Bachelor n Golden Man,

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Speaker 3: who would it be? You? On the spot right now,

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Speaker 3: I asked you right now, just going to.

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Speaker 2: Oh can you think? Do you think this is the

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Speaker 2: first time I've been asked this question. I can tell

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Speaker 2: you the guys I'm close with that I'm really good

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Speaker 2: friends with. I love k I love guy Keith. Those

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Speaker 2: are probably the three guys I'm closest with. But we're friends.

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Speaker 3: So you would never date, go on a date with

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Speaker 3: see Kissel.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I have to take a fifth on that one.

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Speaker 2: See k. You know he's he's got a little some

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Speaker 2: some going on. You know.

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Speaker 3: I can't well now that you.

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Speaker 1: Know, but prior to know and he was in a relationships.

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Speaker 2: Would have gone on a date.

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Speaker 1: We would have gone on a date with him.

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Speaker 2: I would have gone on it a relationship.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, he is If you were to if you

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Speaker 3: were to say any so you know, all the golden

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00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:40,000
Speaker 3: men and any of the guys in a sense, well,

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Speaker 3: who would you go, like, let's let's think all the

385
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 3: golden man if you were to use any men in

386
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Speaker 3: the bachelor world, right, who would be like? Okay, like

387
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Speaker 3: I rock with him for a little bit.

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Speaker 2: I just we're going to move on here because I

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Speaker 2: already answered. This is called asked and answered, as they

390
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:58,119
Speaker 2: say in the court of floors. Answer, So before we

391
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Speaker 2: let you go hockey, because the is finding about you. Well,

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00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:07,359
Speaker 2: we got more questions here. I want to know, uh,

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Speaker 2: now that you're newly taken and not as newly as

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Speaker 2: we thought. Now that you've clarified that you dated her

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00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:17,040
Speaker 2: for a couple of years before, what advice do you

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00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:21,960
Speaker 2: have to any single men out there who are struggling

397
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Speaker 2: to date.

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Speaker 3: I think the first things first this is I'm actually

399
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,640
Speaker 3: gonna be real serious about please that that alpha male

400
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,200
Speaker 3: bullshit that everyone puts in your head that you can't

401
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 3: be very sweet to your girl, you can't express your

402
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:36,320
Speaker 3: feelings like fuck.

403
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,640
Speaker 1: That really get it over?

404
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,280
Speaker 3: Like honest, excuse my language, ladies.

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Speaker 2: Should Hey, let me just say we have some ten

406
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 2: year olds listening to this podcast. Let's see, we're cana

407
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 2: have two sentences without the F bomb. Just try it and.

408
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Speaker 3: Say, Okay, I apologize. So I'm just saying that, you know,

409
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,440
Speaker 3: there's always this like alpha male thing that you guys

410
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,160
Speaker 3: got to be like super outful. You gotta stand on business,

411
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,720
Speaker 3: you gotta make the girl like goanna chase you, or

412
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,240
Speaker 3: you can't fall in love on the first time, Like dude,

413
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,159
Speaker 3: just be yourself. And I know we go into reality

414
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,399
Speaker 3: TV and they're like, hey, be yourself, be yourself. But

415
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,880
Speaker 3: that is literally the vice that I would tell anybody.

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Speaker 2: That's why I'm single. I'm that's why I'm single because

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00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 2: I'm myself.

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00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 3: So you know, all right, disagree, I disagree. I disagree

419
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,359
Speaker 3: with you because just because of yourself doesn't mean that's

420
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,479
Speaker 3: why you're single. I feel, in the sense is a

421
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,439
Speaker 3: person for everyone out there. And I'm weird when I

422
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 3: tell you, I'm weird, I'm loud, I'm annoying. I know

423
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,760
Speaker 3: all the negative qualities about myself, but I choose not

424
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,240
Speaker 3: to not do those things because they will eventually come

425
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Speaker 3: out right, So like somebody's gonna tolerate it, somebody's gonna

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00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 3: see the pros out with the coins. And that's the

427
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 3: way I look at it. So, guys, if you want

428
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 3: to spoil your girl, but don't be weird, don't be

429
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 3: a weird.

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Speaker 1: Like joy it.

431
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Speaker 3: You can and have just like have some emotional telling.

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Speaker 2: Whatever question I can. I've heard, Susan, have you we

433
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:57,159
Speaker 2: talked about this. Somebody said that men are nervous about

434
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,240
Speaker 2: like making that overture, that they like a woman who

435
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,320
Speaker 2: comes up to them. Do you think that's true?

436
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 3: Say that one more time, Kathy.

437
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 1: A woman that approaches a man.

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00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 2: A woman approaching a man is supposed to waiting for

439
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 2: the man to approach her. Like, what's your thought on that.

440
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,439
Speaker 3: Waiting for a woman to approach you?

441
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:13,720
Speaker 2: No?

442
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 1: No, what do you think about women that would approach

443
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 1: you first instead of all that?

444
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you can absolutely do that. I think

445
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,159
Speaker 3: you can absolutely that if you really want to go

446
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 3: for something else.

447
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,879
Speaker 2: Because they say some men are like timid, they instead

448
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 2: of being the alpha man, like really in real life,

449
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 2: they're timid about doing it. So is that true?

450
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 3: Oh? Oh, I mean I don't know about with that.

451
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,359
Speaker 3: I mean, it's it's hard being denied and declined by

452
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,399
Speaker 3: a girl, but at the end of the day. It's

453
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 3: it's the part of our what we got to do.

454
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 3: We got to try to shoot our shots. So if

455
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 3: and that nature, I feel like the priority a man

456
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,680
Speaker 3: has to approach the woman, you know what I mean.

457
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 3: And there's some very strong women like you and and

458
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,280
Speaker 3: Susan per se right that would maybe approach somebody, which

459
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 3: is nothing.

460
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 1: Wrong with it's uncomfortable to approach somebody because of the world.

461
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 3: I wouldn't disagree with you. And I think at the

462
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,200
Speaker 3: end of the day, I feel like we men have

463
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 3: something to prove to the women. I don't think the

464
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,760
Speaker 3: woman has something to prove to us, you know what

465
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,119
Speaker 3: I'm saying. So like that is my opinion with like

466
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 3: the whole approaching and so forth, because men nowadays, like

467
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 3: I know, I'm a good person and everything, but as

468
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 3: a whole, men ain't shit. We and you know that

469
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 3: you as women know that men as a whole, as

470
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:31,640
Speaker 3: a whole category facts, No, you're not wrong at all.

471
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 3: We would be absolutely lost without a woman. But I

472
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 3: think the problem is there's a standard of what men

473
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,719
Speaker 3: are supposed to be like, and that's the bullshit that

474
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,120
Speaker 3: isn't like put into us. We want to be super,

475
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 3: super outful. We want to be the top dog. We

476
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 3: want to make her love me and make her wanna

477
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 3: chase me and all that. Dude, like, is it that?

478
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 1: Or is it they want to impress their friends and guys,

479
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:56,639
Speaker 1: this is how you do it?

480
00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 3: No, real, absolutely, I mean, let me tell you that,

481
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,880
Speaker 3: in my twenties, my younger twenties, like I would try

482
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 3: to pretend like I was a guy who would have

483
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 3: like different girls that I would be talking to. First,

484
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 3: let me tell you this, girls, I am not a

485
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 3: guy who gets a lot of girls at once, you

486
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 3: know what I mean? So like I don't I don't

487
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 3: necessarily am I the guy that's like, oh I pull

488
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 3: so many girls and all that and all that and

489
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: the third and if a guy says that they don't pull, yeah,

490
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,080
Speaker 3: let me tell you they move in silence. Who guys

491
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 3: who get girls, they they zip their mouth. But anyhow,

492
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 3: and the hole in this that and the third, let's

493
00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 3: go back to the goal and to the to the

494
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 3: to the advice I would give a man is truly

495
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 3: just show up for the girl, make her feel safe.

496
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,919
Speaker 3: Don't ever ever ever ask not ask are you okay

497
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,479
Speaker 3: with it? If you feel like you're asking, if you're

498
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 3: okay with it? That's the right thing to do with it,

499
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Are you okay with it?

500
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 3: How do you feel? Ask those questions to make her

501
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 3: feel like, Okay, he actually cares about me, not just

502
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 3: trying to you know, hook up?

503
00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 2: All right? I like a yeah, all right, get the

504
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 2: next question, Susan.

505
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 3: Good.

506
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: First of all, I'm in shock all right about d

507
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 1: I want to we gotta go back for just a second.

508
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: You're dating three women at one time? Did the women

509
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 1: know you're dating other women?

510
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 3: So you don't know the so back when in my

511
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 3: early twenties. This is not mean no, I know that now.

512
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get.

513
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,479
Speaker 3: If you're dating multiple girls, right, not saying that you

514
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,119
Speaker 3: should or you shouldn't. Right. Everyone has the audacity to

515
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 3: do whatever they want in those situations. You're getting to

516
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 3: a certain level then like okay, now we're gonna have

517
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 3: to kind of pick.

518
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 2: And sha nothing wrong with the person.

519
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 3: You gotta have to kind of like you go on

520
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 3: a first date with them, you kind of get a

521
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 3: familiarity like this is a good person and this not.

522
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 3: Then you kind of move to next that go to

523
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:47,200
Speaker 3: a second day. You get to know them a little

524
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 3: bit more, and then you're like, Okay, this might be

525
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,160
Speaker 3: a deal breaker, let's talk and see what they think

526
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 3: about it. And you kind of get that with all them,

527
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:54,959
Speaker 3: and it's sad to kind of figure out if this

528
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 3: person could.

529
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 2: Be your You narrow the plane field, yes, exactly.

530
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 3: Essentially, though, it's it's you use this as a way

531
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 3: to kind of narrow yourself down. And I think people

532
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,280
Speaker 3: tend to put their eggs in all in one basket

533
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 3: and then get turned down and then they're like, fuck,

534
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,960
Speaker 3: like nobody likes me, nobody loves me. That there's so

535
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 3: many people that love you and want you right, just

536
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 3: be great, simple, be great and get to know people.

537
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 2: Do so this next question may be tougher for you.

538
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 2: How came because Susan and I recently did an episode

539
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,360
Speaker 2: where we talked about why dating is so hard right

540
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,359
Speaker 2: now for so many people. What's your perspective on that.

541
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 2: I mean, clearly you have no problem, but a lot

542
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 2: of people talk about the art.

543
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 3: I actually don't have any problem. I'm spinning the block.

544
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 3: What do you mean, I'm clearly it's it's it's truthfully,

545
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 3: it's truly because we have too many options. We see Instagram,

546
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,960
Speaker 3: like you see I see Susan for instance, Susan's a

547
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 3: batting right, so I'll look at it. I'm like, damn, like, damn,

548
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,439
Speaker 3: Like is this Am I doing the right thing? Like?

549
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 3: Is this always going to be like this if I'm

550
00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,640
Speaker 3: with the person? Or in a sense, so you look

551
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 3: and you the other people and you think there's you know,

552
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 3: better people out there.

553
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 2: Oh, but I don't think. That's not the question I'm asking.

554
00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 2: I think so so hard dating is? Yeah, but do

555
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 2: you not you specifically young people? And we get a

556
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 2: lot of questions on this podcast where they say it's

557
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 2: so hard to find a date, it's so hard to

558
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 2: put yourself out there. That's what I'm talking. So clearly

559
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,840
Speaker 2: you don't have that issue, but a lot what is

560
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 2: your perspective? Why do you think so many people have

561
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: trouble getting that first date or getting around to meet

562
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:33,919
Speaker 2: and not?

563
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,399
Speaker 1: I don't think young people have trouble at all?

564
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:37,280
Speaker 2: Are you kidding?

565
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:40,399
Speaker 3: Either? I disagree with you too respectfully and the most respectful.

566
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,840
Speaker 3: I don't I disagree with you. I think I think

567
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 3: people in a sense.

568
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 2: Well define young, huh define young?

569
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 3: I would say like five and younger?

570
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 2: Oh no, I was really talking about a lot of

571
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 2: our questions are I would say twenty five and above.

572
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,400
Speaker 2: And a lot of these people say they have trouble,

573
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 2: they don't want to go to bars, are sick of the.

574
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 1: Dating sites, dating.

575
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,360
Speaker 2: Apps, you know, and they're like, where do you date?

576
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 2: How do I get a date? But like I said,

577
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 2: you you you, this is clearly foreign territory to our game.

578
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 3: I mean, you just shoot your shot. I mean, when

579
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 3: you at a grocery store, you see a beautiful girl,

580
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 3: why don't you You can just shoot your shot anywhere.

581
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 3: I mean I've met a girl before, I had a

582
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 3: library before. Like you, if you see somebody that you

583
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 3: think is worth it and you want to talk to them,

584
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 3: then it's usually well for a.

585
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,159
Speaker 1: Man, I think it's easier for a woman.

586
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,400
Speaker 3: I don't think a woman should have to approach a man.

587
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:34,920
Speaker 3: I think a man should approach the woman.

588
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,880
Speaker 2: Well, so what do you say? What do you say

589
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:38,679
Speaker 2: to those people?

590
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: If we're not getting approached.

591
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 2: They're not getting approached, what do you say and.

592
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 3: Doing what they should be doing? Just focusing clearly only

593
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 3: on themselves because the right person is going to come

594
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 3: to you, chasing you. Put the power in our hands

595
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 3: you're you're already screwed.

596
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:01,880
Speaker 2: I'm telling the wait a minute, tell second. That made

597
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 2: no sense. You said she should focus on her because

598
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,439
Speaker 2: the right one's coming, and then you said, don't focus

599
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 2: on us because we're screwed. So how is the.

600
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 3: Who no no, no, no. If you focus on us

601
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 3: and you chase us, you put us in the driver's seats.

602
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 3: So men is in the driver's seats. So meaning like

603
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 3: you have.

604
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 2: Hard to get, Susan, he's telling us to play hard

605
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,119
Speaker 2: to get. He's telling us.

606
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 3: No, I'm not telling you to play hard you get.

607
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 3: I'm telling you at that time, like you approaching a

608
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 3: man is okay? Personally you can if you would like.

609
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 3: But I'm saying, ultimately speaking, I think it's up to

610
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 3: us men that should make that first move so a

611
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 3: woman doesn't have to do.

612
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,199
Speaker 1: Yes, I agree with you. I agree with you, But

613
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,880
Speaker 1: I think eye contact would let somebody know that you're

614
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 1: on the same page. You know what I mean. If

615
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: there's a chemistry happening from across the room, you look

616
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,360
Speaker 1: at each other, Okay, that make your move.

617
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 3: You make choosing signals like you just give him an eye. Yeah,

618
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 3: you look at him. That's the clear sign that a

619
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 3: woman is like, okay, she sees you, or if your

620
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 3: laughter and she's looking at you when there's laughter all

621
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 3: the time, she's clearly interested.

622
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 2: In the games. We're talking games, Susan. Games play that's

623
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 2: a game. Give the little coquettish smile a little look.

624
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:14,880
Speaker 1: I just crack up.

625
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 3: Wait, what how are we playing games? That's game?

626
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,879
Speaker 1: No, I don't think so. But the thing is you

627
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 1: have to be out. You can't stay home all the

628
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,959
Speaker 1: time and wait for mister Wright to come knock on

629
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: the door or miss right.

630
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 3: In the world.

631
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 2: I just spent five days in Palm Springs and Lakina,

632
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 2: where there are more men over the age of sixty

633
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 2: than letters in the out I was gonna say letters

634
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: in the alphabet, I mean more than sand on the beach.

635
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 2: And I mean they just, you know, just straight. I

636
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 2: got there out there somewhere. I don't know what they

637
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 2: were doing, but all right, I'm I'm. I think that

638
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 2: the advice is let the men come to you. Is

639
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 2: this what I'm hearing?

640
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 3: And I think you should date younger too, because the guys,

641
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 3: there's this sixteen of m can't keep up with you.

642
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 3: Get you, get you a younger man.

643
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 1: But the problem is if you are of a certain age,

644
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 1: and perhaps you're using hinge or or whatever a dating site,

645
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: and you put your real age down, then you don't

646
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: get connected. They don't want it. All they see is

647
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: a number when you meet somebody. I surprise people, as

648
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 1: Kathy does, when they find out how old they know

649
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 1: you're not. Yeah, tell me more, tell me more.

650
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you can put an age range in there and.

651
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: Of what you're looking for, but not yourself, your own age.

652
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.

653
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 2: Because the man, what we're saying is the men if.

654
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: They see in their search were number, we're not in.

655
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 2: That age range. So they just or they see us

656
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 2: and they go cute, d ash, she's too old, swipe

657
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 2: on by.

658
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 3: Some of them will, but not all of them.

659
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

660
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 3: Well there's like some girls gonna swipe yes on me

661
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 3: and they're gonna swipe no one. Me too. Yeah, it's

662
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 3: the same thing for everybody.

663
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just right. You're right, You're absolutely right.

664
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 2: I'm ready. I'm ready to work playing games.

665
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 3: She's playing games.

666
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: But I like what you said about men need to

667
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: hear right now, be real right.

668
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,880
Speaker 2: I heard him say, Let there you didn't say these words,

669
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 2: but let your feminine side show. You know, you don't

670
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 2: have to be a hard asked all yourself.

671
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, be yourself, be authentic, be yourself.

672
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: What you see is what you get.

673
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, those surprises.

674
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 1: We don't want to see red flags in fifteen and

675
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 1: it's fifteen dates later there's a red flag.

676
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 2: Well wait, I want to know, do you have any

677
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 2: questions for us? I came, I mean you know, yeah, I.

678
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 3: Mean absolutely, I'm trying to get in here. And I

679
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 3: want to hear about your love lives too, Susan, and

680
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 3: you're still Is everything going well with you in.

681
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: Your it's galling, it's galling. What that means it's going

682
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: There's been good and bad, but that Yes, the distance

683
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: is big.

684
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 3: It's the distance. Where is he located?

685
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:22,840
Speaker 1: If Saint Martin on the most beautiful island?

686
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 2: He speaks French, he is French. He lives in Saint

687
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 2: Martin on the French side.

688
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 3: Okay, so who's gonna make the play? He's gonna have

689
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 3: to come through?

690
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, what he's what was he?

691
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 3: What's he thinking?

692
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: Oh, he doesn't come here in the winter, of course.

693
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 3: I feel that, Yeah, I feel that though, But we

694
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 3: can use his house as the winter House.

695
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 1: Yes, I go down to a couple of weeks. Actually,

696
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: second time, Dat what's going on with.

697
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 3: Your love life?

698
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 2: Nothing?

699
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 3: Because you're obviously playing games too, because you're over here

700
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 3: saying like you want them to approach.

701
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 2: Uh nothing.

702
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 3: I got So what's going on?

703
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 2: I got nothing? Nothing? I smile, I chit chat, but

704
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 2: you know I'm nothing.

705
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 3: So you're not texting, nobody talking to anybody. Nobody found

706
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 3: interested in You're not. You don't think anybody in your realm.

707
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 3: Since I've saw you and talk to you, you have

708
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 3: not found.

709
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: She's not on the dating sites though, so who would

710
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 1: she know?

711
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 3: But she outside?

712
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 2: Tell me I'm outside all the time. I was. I'm

713
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 2: in bonds in restaurants. But you know they're just not

714
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 2: they're just not biting.

715
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 3: Here's not biting. So what exactly you're looking for? Let's

716
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 3: let's see that. Let's start there, because I think.

717
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 2: Above ground, above ground, Uh can move, you know, Okay.

718
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 3: Personality.

719
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 2: I don't want to used to guy. I want to

720
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,080
Speaker 2: guy I used to gout, you know, the guy that

721
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 2: doesn't do anything. I'm very active. I want a guy

722
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 2: who used to I used to play tennis. I used

723
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 2: to Kayak I used to ski. Now I sit on

724
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,959
Speaker 2: the sofa with a beer and a ball cap on

725
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 2: backwards and show you pictures of my dead fish. That's

726
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 2: the guy I don't want. But yeah, I'm good. If

727
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 2: it's gonna happen for me, it's gonna happen. And if

728
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 2: it isn't, it isn't because I am grateful. I have

729
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 2: a good life.

730
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 3: So you absolutely do. And you're gorgeous too, by the way,

731
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 3: just make sure if you didn't know that. But the

732
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 3: thing is is that you have a youth for energy.

733
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 3: So you I think you have sixty and above. You

734
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 3: need to go sixty and below. Girl, What I'm saying,

735
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 3: like you laughing, you see me and Susan we dead series.

736
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 2: We're trying to Yeah, I see you and Susan. You

737
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 2: got your girl in Chicago and she's got her guy.

738
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 2: And say Martin, I.

739
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 3: Said, no, well, we're not talking about that. We're saying,

740
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 3: like you see us, like in a sense, we're trying

741
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 3: to tell you need to get on the other side.

742
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 3: But I'm saying so.

743
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 1: Like what Kathy always says. Kathy always says, they want

744
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,960
Speaker 1: younger women. Again. The number, it's just a number. You're

745
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 1: younger than most sixty year old so that I know

746
00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: some of.

747
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 3: Them do and some of them gon't. What I'm trying

748
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 3: to take me home, Golden. If I didn't have a girlfriend,

749
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 3: I'll get and get to know me a golden that's

750
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 3: just me. But you got to get to find you

751
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 3: understand that and really really understand that there's people out

752
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 3: there that do rock with it.

753
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 2: And I want to meet him organically. I'm not going

754
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 2: to meet him on a dating sight.

755
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't got to meet him in a in sight.

756
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 3: It's very overstimulating too.

757
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, pain is it's like a job.

758
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,800
Speaker 2: It's a job, like a job. But but hockey. We

759
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 2: are so happy that you are happy.

760
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: I am thrilled for you.

761
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, we are very happy for you. We want we

762
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:36,800
Speaker 2: want to meet back. We want to meet her, we

763
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 2: want to see the ring. I think you should get

764
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 2: engaged on our podcast.

765
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 1: A jeweler friends. No one's ever done that is good

766
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:44,720
Speaker 1: jeweler friends.

767
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, I got jeweler friends too. We got them.

768
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 2: We got them in Saint Martin, we got them locally.

769
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 2: Can help out lab diamonds, we got real diamonds. We're

770
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 2: multi multi faceted. Over here.

771
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:58,399
Speaker 3: Okay, you want to talk to Neil Lane.

772
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you know, free is it's the best way

773
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 2: to travel.

774
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 3: And first place right here, guys, So it's not going

775
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 3: to work out for me probably.

776
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 1: Well you know what that does it for today's episode.

777
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,480
Speaker 1: I can't believe it. Thank you so much for our

778
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 1: lovely Hakeem. You know we love you. We always will

779
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 1: and you're never getting rid of us.

780
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 2: You'll never get rid of us. And I will tell

781
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 2: you how. I came as much fun as I had

782
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 2: on Paradise, and I did. I was really sad that

783
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 2: you were gone when I got there. I think you

784
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 2: left right before I got there, before the.

785
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 3: I know, I was said truly, I was sad because

786
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 3: I really wanted to see you guys, And honestly, I

787
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 3: was just like, come on, I just want one more days.

788
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 3: Hopefully Susan.

789
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 2: Susan was not there. Susan didn't she has a boyfriend.

790
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 2: She has a boyfriend.

791
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,359
Speaker 1: I was going to give you a rose regardless. Oh

792
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 1: I heard you were coming. I was like, yes, Katy's

793
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: like Susan.

794
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 2: Yeah. There's just a little rule on Bachelor. You know,

795
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,320
Speaker 2: if you're dating someone, you cannot go to paradise to

796
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:09,680
Speaker 2: yet meet someone else. So she was she's dating somebody. Yeah,

797
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,799
Speaker 2: I would have given you a rose. Came, I would

798
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 2: have given you a rose, and said, Susan asked me

799
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 2: to send this to you. I mean you know I

800
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:17,919
Speaker 2: would have taken one for the team.

801
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, no, you gout, you know, take the one.

802
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:22,320
Speaker 3: Y'all make it seem like it's a job to do

803
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,960
Speaker 3: to give me a hold on job.

804
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 1: We had chemistry the first time we met. Absolutely, you

805
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 1: know what.

806
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:34,440
Speaker 2: Speaking of chemistry, I need to go make a drink.

807
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 2: I'm really wait.

808
00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 3: Last question, do you guys still talk to April Hall

809
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 3: she doing because I.

810
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 2: Have not spoken to her. She moved to New York,

811
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 2: that's all.

812
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 1: I went to New York.

813
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:46,359
Speaker 2: She moved to New York.

814
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 3: I tell Jonathan he should have went to her room.

815
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:50,800
Speaker 1: I think he was scared.

816
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, we're gonna leave you on that one. We

817
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 2: are just gonna leave it there. Thank you to all

818
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 2: of our listeners for so glad you joined in today

819
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:05,319
Speaker 2: to hear all of Hawkim's exciting news. Please be sure

820
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 2: to keep send us your question your comments. We'll be

821
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 2: sure to let you know when that engagement day happens.

822
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 2: With Hakim and send us to your questions. Just go

823
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 2: to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour and send

824
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 2: us all your questions and comments.

825
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, we will definitely be there Hakeem when you

826
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:27,280
Speaker 1: say the big magic words. And please listen to Bachelor

827
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever

828
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 1: you listen to your podcast. Until next time, take care,