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Speaker 1: They're now instead of challenges or problems, they're friends that

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Speaker 1: I can bring closer and sit down and calm them

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Speaker 1: down so that they don't rattle me. Because at the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, I'm still the one in control.

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Speaker 1: My emotions are a reflection of the internal side, but

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Speaker 1: they're actually not what makes the decisions. That is the eye,

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Speaker 1: the congruent eye in the middle of all of that. Hey, everyone,

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Speaker 1: welcome back to this very special episode of On Purpose.

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Speaker 1: Thanks to our partners at Better Help. For this episode today,

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Speaker 1: I'm joined with Hay Sugo, licensed therapist and head of

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Speaker 1: clinical Operations at Better Help. Also, I just want to

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Speaker 1: remind you that just because you might hear something on

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Speaker 1: the show that sounds similar to what you're experiencing, beware

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Speaker 1: of self diagnosis. You want to find a qualified professional

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Speaker 1: to assess and explore diagnosis if it's important to you.

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Speaker 1: Better Help would like me to mention the following trigger

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Speaker 1: warnings for racism, bullying, and relationships with food. Today, we're

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Speaker 1: joined by a very special guest, Ulado Sam, who's going

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Speaker 1: to be sharing his own experiences, his own thoughts, his

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Speaker 1: own journey in the world and in life through his

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Speaker 1: lens and our goal with these episodes is to show

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Speaker 1: you the insides or the inner workings of what a

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Speaker 1: therapy session can look like. So what we're going to

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Speaker 1: be doing is guiding you Lardo through some therapy questions

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Speaker 1: that is going to help him reflect, share his experiences,

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Speaker 1: share his thoughts in a way that hopefully shows you

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Speaker 1: that therapy is accessible, it's approachable, and I'm hoping that

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Speaker 1: these give you a sense of what a real session

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Speaker 1: could look like for you, so that if you've had

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Speaker 1: any fears or any doubts or any challenges with finding

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Speaker 1: a therapist or going to therapy, that hopefully some of

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Speaker 1: those will go away. And of course hopefully you download

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Speaker 1: better help and use it in your life to make

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Speaker 1: there be really accessible and affordable and approachable for you. So,

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Speaker 1: hey sou, it's always good to have you back in

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Speaker 1: the studio, Yolao. It's good to have you in the studio.

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Speaker 1: Nice to meet you for the pleasure time and for

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Speaker 1: a few moments i've spent with you just now, I

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Speaker 1: can tell that you're very thoughtful, reflective individual, and so

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful that you've allowed us this opportunity to be

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Speaker 1: a part of this experience. Thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: bringing me into the space. As always, curating a space

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Speaker 1: of wellness is something that is really necessary but also

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Speaker 1: difficult to do. So already the fact that we have

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Speaker 1: this easy breath and you know, the nerves and jitters

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Speaker 1: aren't necessarily bubbling to the top. I'm really excited to

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Speaker 1: be able to have this conversation with you both. I'd

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Speaker 1: love to hear more a bit about you and then

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Speaker 1: that can go further into what you would like to

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Speaker 1: talk about today. First and foremostself saying and from the

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Speaker 1: land of wood and Water, the birthplace of reggae Dan

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Speaker 1: Saul and the fastest man and woman on the planet

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Speaker 1: and none other than King's Sun, Jamaica, So you have

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Speaker 1: to represent you know. But out of that growing up,

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Speaker 1: I've always been into athletics and I come from a

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Speaker 1: really unique family structure. My mom's from England, but my

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Speaker 1: brother and I born and raised in Jamaica, And on

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Speaker 1: top of that we have this eclectic sense of family.

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Speaker 1: And as I was maturing, my mom sort of saw

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Speaker 1: an opportunity where my mental health was concerned. Moving from

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Speaker 1: spaces and schools where there were so many things brought

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Speaker 1: together all at one time, growing up in Jamaica, you

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Speaker 1: realize that once you get to a particular school, probably

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Speaker 1: high school, which starts in grade seven, there are so

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Speaker 1: many communities that come together all at one time. It's

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Speaker 1: not as spaced out as a United States. So on

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Speaker 1: an island, you can have someone that lives two three

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Speaker 1: parishes over that starts their journey to school at five

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Speaker 1: am in the city where we were. And I just

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Speaker 1: happened to have a challenging time where my mental health

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Speaker 1: was concerned, and that was when I met doctor Agree Irons.

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Speaker 1: It was a really unique experience because I was so young,

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know what therapy was. But in this space,

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Speaker 1: not only were we dealing with anxiety and depression, but

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Speaker 1: we were also dealing with family structure. How can I

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Speaker 1: show up as the best version of myself so that

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Speaker 1: I can be the best brother that I can be

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Speaker 1: older brother at that and then also simultaneously be the

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Speaker 1: best son that I can be. Because that was my

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Speaker 1: first sense of duty that I can really think of

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Speaker 1: outside of being my own individual, I realized I had

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Speaker 1: this other title. I had son, and then soon thereafter

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Speaker 1: I had big brother, and I really started to find

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Speaker 1: out what those two terms meant through sitting down with

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Speaker 1: doctor irons really connect with other people, and I see

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Speaker 1: the identity is really tied to context of you in

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Speaker 1: relationship with your family. Yeah, family is where it starts,

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Speaker 1: I believe, and then we open from that to culture,

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Speaker 1: because then the wider scope or the wider lens looks

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Speaker 1: at the fact that this really nuanced and I would

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Speaker 1: say it was somewhat of a benefit that was offered

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Speaker 1: to me and my brother wasn't something that a lot

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Speaker 1: of people around me had the opportunity to experience. And

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Speaker 1: I thank my mom for working so hard for that

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Speaker 1: because it's been something that has shaped the relationship that

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Speaker 1: I have with both of them to this very day.

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Speaker 1: And so in those spaces, I realized that relating to

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Speaker 1: other people is not just something that you do to

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Speaker 1: survive or to move yourself forward, but it's something that's

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Speaker 1: actually necessary to humanity. We can't sort of exist isolated,

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Speaker 1: and finding ways of communicating are super important, as we've

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Speaker 1: learned over the last maybe two and a half years

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Speaker 1: as well. So I'm glad that those skills have sort

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Speaker 1: of stuck with me. Skills of being able to communicate,

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Speaker 1: relate with other people. You mentioned your mom saw an opportunity.

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Speaker 1: That's the way that you mentioned to get you into

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Speaker 1: you know what, a lot of people will say services

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Speaker 1: into therapy. You are struggling, What would you say you

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Speaker 1: remember about your own struggle, not what your mom noticed

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Speaker 1: about you, but what did you feel? And if you

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Speaker 1: even remember that kind of thing. I can honestly say

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Speaker 1: in the simplest form, the things that I remember are

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Speaker 1: being exceptionally present with myself, but not fully understanding what

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Speaker 1: that meant. So there are these things happening internally. There

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Speaker 1: are these thoughts that are running a little faster than

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Speaker 1: I can keep up with my body's responding in particular

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Speaker 1: ways that I'm not able to check and really bring back.

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Speaker 1: And before I knew it, I was competing heavily in

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Speaker 1: track and field. It's something I did all the way

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Speaker 1: up through college, ran internationally as well, and I found

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Speaker 1: myself constantly in this not just a space of doubt,

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Speaker 1: but then also saying I'm not the biggest on the field.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes when you perform in like a space like Jamaica,

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Speaker 1: where we have like the biggest high school track and

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Speaker 1: field meet in the Western Hemisphere high school Champs, there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of pressure because again, we're a nation where

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Speaker 1: this is one of the ways that you can make

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Speaker 1: your way out. Big up to you saying bowl to

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Speaker 1: Soffer Powell, handsl Parchment. Those are some of the people

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Speaker 1: that I had the fortune of whether being able to

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Speaker 1: watch train or being part of high performance track team

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Speaker 1: with Fitz Coleman, those individuals brought me into a space

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Speaker 1: where I saw what was tangible and I put a

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Speaker 1: lot of pressure on myself not just to perform, but

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Speaker 1: then also to make a mark. My desire was to

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Speaker 1: make a mark on the world, and that was the

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Speaker 1: first way I understood it. And a combination of like

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Speaker 1: just being in high school, going through puberty, and then

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Speaker 1: also performing at a high level in a sport put

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Speaker 1: me in this intersection of, well, who's helping this athlete

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Speaker 1: to process what he's feeling on and off the track.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's the opportunity that my mom saw

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Speaker 1: because there was a big moment in high school where

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Speaker 1: I just everything froze and it was my actually my

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Speaker 1: first absence seizure that I realized that I had, and

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Speaker 1: that was the impetus to say, hey, he's not having

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Speaker 1: the craziest of physical responses, and that's how I ended

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Speaker 1: up in my first therapy session. And in that session,

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Speaker 1: I imagine here a lot going on. You said something

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Speaker 1: really poignant here about like being extremely self aware but

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Speaker 1: not understanding what that means. And now you're reflecting on

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Speaker 1: that later in life, you've gone through a lot of things,

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Speaker 1: including that therapy. So what do you understand about yourself now?

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Speaker 1: That's different from then? When I was small, there were

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Speaker 1: the doubts, the pressures, as my favorite author Anthony C.

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Speaker 1: Winkler will say, like the little pastor that's in your

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Speaker 1: head that's telling you right from wrong, the voice that

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Speaker 1: isn't yours yet, the voice that is probably societies or

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Speaker 1: your families that is there to guide you. But no

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Speaker 1: one necessarily sits down and allows that process to be

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Speaker 1: a very present one where we detail like how are

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Speaker 1: you feeling? Actually, what are you thinking about? And how

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Speaker 1: does life feel for you in your little body right now?

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Speaker 1: As you continue to develop, And so in reflecting now,

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Speaker 1: I realize that I'm more skilled with these techniques, I'm

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Speaker 1: more patient with them as well. As a kid, you

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Speaker 1: sort of want to understand, you want to do, you

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Speaker 1: want to get done, and yet at the same time,

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Speaker 1: you don't have the understanding of how to process all

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Speaker 1: of that, and you might center yourself under all the

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Speaker 1: isms and schisms that are around you. And so now

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Speaker 1: I found that I give myself a bit more space

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Speaker 1: to breathe, give myself a little bit more time to

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Speaker 1: relate not just to myself but to my environment, and

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Speaker 1: then I'm able to analyze a bit more. And that

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Speaker 1: allows me then with even some of the things that

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Speaker 1: I still deal with today that may not have disappeared,

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Speaker 1: but they're now instead of challenges or problems, they're friends

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Speaker 1: that I can bring closer, you know, and sit down

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Speaker 1: and calm them down so that they don't rattle me,

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Speaker 1: because at the end of the day, I'm still the

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Speaker 1: one in control. My emotions are a reflection of the

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Speaker 1: internal side, but they're actually not what makes the decisions.

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Speaker 1: He too. I just wanted to just share a few

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Speaker 1: observations for our viewers and listeners back at home or

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Speaker 1: wherever you are. What I love about watching a therapy

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Speaker 1: session in this way, or a conversation with a therapist

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Speaker 1: is you get to notice the really attentive listening that

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Speaker 1: HASU has of like finding like something very specific that

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Speaker 1: you said, and using that as an opportunity to ask

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Speaker 1: a follow up question, which we don't always get in

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Speaker 1: our day to day life. I was thinking about if

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Speaker 1: you were sharing your very honest truth on an everyday basis.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes our friends and family that they can be really

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Speaker 1: well intentioned, but it's really hard for them to ask

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Speaker 1: a question that does justice to what you just shared

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Speaker 1: and to really create a space of listening very attentively.

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Speaker 1: And I could see what Hasu was picking out, and

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you felt it too that you had to

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Speaker 1: say and think, oh wow, yeah, I just said that,

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Speaker 1: like what does that really mean? And I think that

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Speaker 1: that one of the beauties of therapy as well, that

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Speaker 1: you actually have someone who's sitting with you who is

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Speaker 1: listening far more attentively and skillfully than most of the

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Speaker 1: people we meet every single day. And then I was

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Speaker 1: also just reflecting to what you said. I think that

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Speaker 1: a lot of our listeners will be able to empathize

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Speaker 1: with what it feels like being a young person who

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Speaker 1: has pressure on them. So whether it's sports or athletics,

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Speaker 1: or whether it's dance or gymnastics, or whether it's swimming,

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Speaker 1: or whether it's you know, whatever it is, that any

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Speaker 1: of us did when we were young. I think everyone

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Speaker 1: can empathize with that experience of feeling like I'm not

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Speaker 1: big enough, I'm not I'm not fast enough, I'm not

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Speaker 1: skillful enough, like and I can't can't even imagine what

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Speaker 1: it begins to feel. Also, when you feel that that

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Speaker 1: is a method in your nation to create some you know,

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Speaker 1: impact in your life like that, if you add that

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Speaker 1: layer to it, that's a really remarkable layer. So I

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Speaker 1: just want to share some of those reflections quickly from

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Speaker 1: what I was hearing as well through these sessions. If

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Speaker 1: you're listening or watching right now, I hope you're appreciating

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Speaker 1: and taking in all of these cues. Thank you, I

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Speaker 1: mean you're noting. I think a very key difference from

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Speaker 1: talking to people that you care about that care about you,

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Speaker 1: your friends, your family, the folks that you generally want

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Speaker 1: to turn to first when you're going through something. Oftentimes

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Speaker 1: when they respond, when the folks that love you are

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Speaker 1: listening to you speak, they're trying to respond in a

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Speaker 1: way that's kind of like emotionally tied up in who

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Speaker 1: you are in the relationship. So you're listening to respond

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Speaker 1: with you in that response, what therapists are generally doing

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Speaker 1: are listening to respond to you with you and mind.

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Speaker 1: I'm not responding with like anything that has to do

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Speaker 1: with my life or trying to connect it to something

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Speaker 1: at me. And that's what people do, That's what friends

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Speaker 1: do with each other. Is I'm going to respond in

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Speaker 1: a way that helps us connect on this friend level.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going to bring it back to like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: that reminds me of a time when I was in

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Speaker 1: high school and I was running track. Like you're going

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Speaker 1: to find that therapists generally don't do that very much

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Speaker 1: because the focus should remain on the client. So that

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Speaker 1: is something that is intentional and something that somebody can

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Speaker 1: expect when they go to therapy is this person is

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Speaker 1: here with undivided attention to you, which most of us

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Speaker 1: don't get in our everyday life with anybody. Definitely, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, it allows for a relationship to form, but

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Speaker 1: it is different. It's different than what you're going to

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Speaker 1: have with your friends, you know, your loved ones. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like it's like that small bridge between maybe like a

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Speaker 1: sympathetic relationship versus an empathetic relationship, which the sympathetic, to

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Speaker 1: my understanding is oh, I've experienced that too. I know

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Speaker 1: what that feels like. Whereas what we're noting now is

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Speaker 1: just sitting down with the person and being like, I

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Speaker 1: actually heard what you said and you mentioned this, would

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Speaker 1: you like to speak more about that? Which allows for

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Speaker 1: the person that's actually going through something or the person

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Speaker 1: that is coming for help to actually express what they

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Speaker 1: need without this other perspective interfering. And not to say

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Speaker 1: that it isn't helpful sometimes because I do believe that

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Speaker 1: in these sessions there are obviously moments of the oh,

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Speaker 1: I know what you mean by that. Yet at the

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Speaker 1: same time they come even at more specific instances, and

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Speaker 1: so it's really a pleasure because also as a man

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Speaker 1: of color, having these conversations too can lead to some

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Speaker 1: very nuanced moments where those lines sort of get blurred

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Speaker 1: for one or many reasons. So this definitely feels great

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Speaker 1: speaking of connecting things back to something you just said.

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Speaker 1: What are these lines that get blurred? Well, I think

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Speaker 1: I've found that for me, I've been fortunate to have

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Speaker 1: individuals of color, black men and women for the longer

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Speaker 1: sessions that I've been able to commit to, and I

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Speaker 1: say to commit to because there's a reality that therapy

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Speaker 1: isn't always as affordable or convenient with the world that

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Speaker 1: we live in, and so we're trying to through something

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Speaker 1: like this make it feel more tangible and more accessible

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Speaker 1: to people. But then being in America, I have found

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Speaker 1: that if I do happen to work with a therapist

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Speaker 1: that may be of a different ethnicity or a different race,

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Speaker 1: there are sometimes where, depending if I haven't done enough

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Speaker 1: research or we haven't had enough time together, those lines

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Speaker 1: of like, well, I don't get to talk about this often,

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Speaker 1: let's actually investigate this when this that they're investigating isn't

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Speaker 1: what's most important to me. It's the that. And the

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Speaker 1: only reason I'm able to have that a little bit

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Speaker 1: extra of awareness is because my experience lets me know

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Speaker 1: that I should be able to speak about the that

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Speaker 1: and not the this. You know, it's if I'm understanding

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Speaker 1: it sounds like you've had experiences where the person in

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Speaker 1: front of you is focusing in on something but that

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Speaker 1: isn't necessarily what you want to talk about. But it

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Speaker 1: sounds like you're over there kind of taking care of

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Speaker 1: this other person too, thinking like, oh, I can understand

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Speaker 1: why you would want to focus on that, So then

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Speaker 1: you go with that which takes the focus of that.

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Speaker 1: So what is the that for you right now? What

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Speaker 1: is something going on with you right now? I'll share

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Speaker 1: this is actually a genuine concern of mine. I've recently

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Speaker 1: moved into a new apartment, first time. It's me, my

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Speaker 1: one bedroom, one bath, taking care of myself. Congratulations, Thank

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Speaker 1: you very much. I appreciate that. And one of the

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Speaker 1: things I had to ask myself recently is how safe

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Speaker 1: I am in my apartment. We know the context of

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Speaker 1: what it means to be in America, and thanks to

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Speaker 1: more House College my undergraduate experience that the world isn't

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Speaker 1: as fair sometimes, and we have seen the stories on

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Speaker 1: the news, we hear it on the radio, we see

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Speaker 1: the social media posts. But Brianna Taylor's experience resonated with

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Speaker 1: me in a very different way. To know that you

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Speaker 1: can be in your home, in your bed, fast asleep,

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Speaker 1: that was something that it was real. But now that

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Speaker 1: I am one hundred percent on my own sitting in

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Speaker 1: that space, I asked myself, how do not even how

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Speaker 1: do I prevent that? But is that a reality for me?

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Speaker 1: And the sad answer in some senses is yes. There

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Speaker 1: is the small chance that if I haven't introduced myself

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Speaker 1: properly to my neighbors, or if I leave at different hours,

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Speaker 1: if I wear particular things, I might be seen as

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Speaker 1: suspicious instead of mysterious and cool. You know that, I

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Speaker 1: always want to be that low key sexy neighbor, like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, he's leaving. He said, Oh he's coming back,

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Speaker 1: you know. But the reality that I also have to

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Speaker 1: navigate is that before they get to meet me, they're

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Speaker 1: AWE might actually be, I guess, colored by the hue

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Speaker 1: of my skin, and it's something that I have to

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Speaker 1: be aware of regardless of where I am, and it

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Speaker 1: just so happens that I live here, and so all

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Speaker 1: the contextual matters of like what it means to be

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Speaker 1: black in America like sort of came back to me

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Speaker 1: all that one time. So thank you for sharing that.

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Speaker 1: For many other people who are describing to folks like

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Speaker 1: I just moved into my first place of my own,

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Speaker 1: the first thing that a lot of people are going

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Speaker 1: to think is like, that's almost awesome. Congratulations, that's amazing,

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Speaker 1: And then you continue to share that, actually, you also

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Speaker 1: have to be concerned about your safety. This is not

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Speaker 1: something that many people have to think about and you know,

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Speaker 1: as you're speaking, I also have a lot of my

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Speaker 1: own emotional reaction to hearing you. Because our homes are

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Speaker 1: supposed to be our sanctuaries. Our homes are supposed to

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Speaker 1: be the safest place where we can let our hair down,

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Speaker 1: where we can feel comfortable, where we don't have to

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Speaker 1: be on edge about anything. What I'm hearing is that

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Speaker 1: for you, that is not always the reality. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: you want me to believe in this progress, right, And

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Speaker 1: yet at the same time, on the news, I'm able

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Speaker 1: to literally see a physical representation of my features going

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Speaker 1: through these extremely traumatic experiences. Right, I'm seeing it not

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Speaker 1: only represented by people advocating for it, but also sensationalized

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Speaker 1: and debated as to whether, oh, it's just or not,

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Speaker 1: when in reality, there are so many faces that look

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Speaker 1: like mine, that dream like I do, that sound like

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Speaker 1: I do, that are slowly absorbing all of that information,

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Speaker 1: and without proper resources, without spaces like this, the discussion

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Speaker 1: around empowering you in the face of that adversity is

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Speaker 1: somewhat lost, and that is probably one of the goals

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Speaker 1: of being a more houseman. It's to be a candle

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Speaker 1: in the dark, to represent that even though I know

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Speaker 1: this reality is around me, this shadow might be following me.

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Speaker 1: That's a lot of pressure for yourself again, a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure to be light in a very dark world.

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Speaker 1: So what are the things you'd say in your life

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Speaker 1: that continue to motivate you to overcome that pressure, to

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Speaker 1: meet that pressure. I think of my granddad that recently passed. Again,

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Speaker 1: we go back to family, so needless to say, my mom,

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Speaker 1: my brother, my grandmother, my family. But outside of that,

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Speaker 1: in the world, we get some small glimmers of hope.

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Speaker 1: And one of the ideas that I constantly have is

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Speaker 1: what's my hope? And that happens to be my art.

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Speaker 1: What gives me hope is a great story, but a

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Speaker 1: story that doesn't reflect a lot of the stereotypes. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you all watch my favorite movie of

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Speaker 1: the year thus far, Everything Everywhere, all at once, really

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Speaker 1: fantastic movie. Outside of that, I look the World Championships

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Speaker 1: you were earlier this summer, you know, big up, Shelleyan Phraser, Price,

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Speaker 1: Elaine Thompson, big up. Haants apart the whole. Like anytime

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Speaker 1: I can see people like thriving, it's always big for me.

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Speaker 1: I noted that there must be an immense pressure to

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Speaker 1: continue to share this light that you have inside of

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Speaker 1: yourself with other people, on top of also having to

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Speaker 1: wonder if you're safe in your own home, if you're

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Speaker 1: safe in any space, like you said, and it's hope

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Speaker 1: that you come back to that allows you to move

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Speaker 1: through this world, continue navigating. It gives you kind of

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Speaker 1: the freedom to continue to see beauty in the world.

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Speaker 1: What about times where it doesn't feel so easy to

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Speaker 1: do that, Well, this is where the skills kick in,

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Speaker 1: is it not? And so it's going to the skills

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Speaker 1: that I have, or taking a moment grounding myself. And

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Speaker 1: when I say grounding myself, sometimes it's the difference between

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Speaker 1: a shallow breath and an actual deep breath and knowing

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Speaker 1: the difference in my body of like what that actually

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Speaker 1: feels like. There is a lot of people don't know

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Speaker 1: what it means to breathe, you know, below their ribcage,

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Speaker 1: and it's something that's uncanny to me because as an athlete,

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Speaker 1: I was also never taught to breathe. I learned it's

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Speaker 1: an important thing I learned about aerobic and anaerobic respiration,

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Speaker 1: but no one ever gave me an exercise to expand

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Speaker 1: my lung capacity. Right, I'm putting my body under due rest.

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Speaker 1: I'm putting my body under stress. I like to use

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Speaker 1: sports as an analogy sometimes for life. Right, and yet

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Speaker 1: still the one process that is going to go whether

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Speaker 1: or not your body is under that right, the part

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Speaker 1: that fuels you is not so much so expanded on.

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Speaker 1: And so the skills really come into play when I'm

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Speaker 1: not feeling my best. Typically in those dark moments, either

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Speaker 1: go to art, go to my loves, or go to

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Speaker 1: my family. It's all still about connection, relationships, you know,

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Speaker 1: being together, interconnectedness, and it's making me think of intersectionality,

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Speaker 1: how things in all of our lives meet each other

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Speaker 1: in some way. It's clear that you're a person of

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Speaker 1: the world that is absorbed. You said that you know

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Speaker 1: life is an active choice that you're doing all the time,

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Speaker 1: that you have these skills that get you through the

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Speaker 1: more challenging times. Can you share where you started learning

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Speaker 1: these skills? If nobody taught you how to breathe, where

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Speaker 1: did you learn how to do that? I happen to

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Speaker 1: be in these really amazing spaces collaborating with these great people,

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Speaker 1: and I ended up working with after grad school, I

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Speaker 1: ended up working with this wellness brand, and while we

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Speaker 1: were there in that space, that was my first introduction

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Speaker 1: to probably like mindfulness in that extent, sound, healing, those

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Speaker 1: types of things, and that was where a little bit

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Speaker 1: of interest started to develop. But while I was pursuing

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Speaker 1: my masters, I was conducting research and what I found

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Speaker 1: is that all cultures across the world, what connects us

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Speaker 1: to the Euroba, the Greeks, the Ashanti, the Aztecs is

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Speaker 1: the fact that we all have the same instrument. Can

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Speaker 1: you actively make the decision to go to your breath,

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Speaker 1: Can you actively make the decision to just relax your shoulders,

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Speaker 1: relax your forehead, stop biting on your jaw. These are

433
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 1: all these the things that we don't realize that we're doing.

434
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,760
Speaker 1: But no one is ever saying to you, hey, take

435
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: a second and actually stop bracing, because people think bracing

436
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 1: means this. You going out there and grabbing the bull

437
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 1: by the you know when I'm here is like, even

438
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:05,200
Speaker 1: when maybe you were conscious of it or not, people

439
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 1: weren't teaching you things, but you went out to be

440
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: taught by the world in some way or another. You're

441
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 1: an active student of life. It sounds like that. And

442
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 1: I'm also seeing that this lifelong learner has taken all

443
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 1: the beauty that he's found, and you really want to

444
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 1: share it with other people. You mentioned your family a lot,

445
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: and you mentioned art and art is something to be seen.

446
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 1: Art is something to be experienced and something to move

447
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: other people, and it sounds like you've been moved. You

448
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 1: want to move other people. I definitely do. How can

449
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 1: I do my work so that my cup is somewhat

450
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,880
Speaker 1: full so that I can water the next person, so

451
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: that I can give just a little, not everything, because

452
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 1: I need something for myself. But I can't start until

453
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: I've poured something. As we've heard the angel saying into

454
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 1: the cup, my mind keeps going back to something you

455
00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: said earlier, the pressure that I don't know if it's

456
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: a pressure that you felt for yourself, but a lot

457
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 1: of people in your community felt when you're in high school,

458
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 1: to achieve, to perform in a particular space in order

459
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: to get out. I would be remiss if I don't ask, like,

460
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,719
Speaker 1: do you feel that kind of thing still present in

461
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 1: your life? Do you feel like there are pressures to

462
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 1: get out of something even if I do happen to

463
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 1: make it to the place where I'm financially free and

464
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: I'm able to protect and provide for my family. There's

465
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: also this question, which I'm sure both of you have

466
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 1: asked yourself, how can I help the wider world, the

467
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: wider community. It's through things like this, definitely. But the

468
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 1: beautiful aspect of it is that I don't think it

469
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: ever stops, because my reality is until I see things

470
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 1: change in the world around me, that means that there's

471
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: still work to be done. And the question that I

472
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 1: beg of myself is what can I do. You've said

473
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,719
Speaker 1: so many things that I want to continue exploring with you,

474
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 1: but really it's like you've done quite a lot of

475
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 1: self exploration, is what I'm hearing. It's interesting hearing you

476
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 1: both continuing the conversation. I think a lot of the

477
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 1: time people have an assumption that therapy or conversations around

478
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: therapy end up being like these deep dark secrets and

479
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 1: these deep dark holes where it's like I always feel

480
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 1: like sometimes people feel they have to invent a huge

481
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: problem before a therapy session, and people feel like, ohful,

482
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 1: if I don't have a really big problem in my life,

483
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 1: then I don't need therapy. And I'm what I'm hearing

484
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: today and hearing this conversation is actually we're speaking to

485
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 1: someone who has a great set of skills, has some good,

486
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 1: good ideas and good thoughts, but we're getting and I'm

487
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: hoping you're feeling this way and you're the only person

488
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 1: who can really tell us this. But there's a sense

489
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,479
Speaker 1: of like healthy reflection in any of your self of

490
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: your own ideas. He So who's asking you questions that

491
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 1: I'm making you pause and stop and really think about

492
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 1: where some of these strengths are where they're not, So

493
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 1: I start looking at it so much more of a

494
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 1: wholesome discussion as opposed to like I'm like in an

495
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: emergency situation where I have a problem and I need

496
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 1: a therapist to solve it, which is often a feeling

497
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,719
Speaker 1: I think people have with the like I'm not going

498
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,640
Speaker 1: to go to therapy because I don't have that, or

499
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 1: I only go to therapy when I have something that extreme. Yeah,

500
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 1: and people have shared with me that they get stressed

501
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 1: out before sessions because they think that they're supposed to

502
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,960
Speaker 1: be prepared with this big problem that they're supposed to

503
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: bring up, or you know, I've been asked like what

504
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: am I supposed to bring to you. Am I supposed

505
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: to become prepared with something? Do I need to have

506
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 1: a topic on hand? And I've shared with folks like

507
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 1: it doesn't always have to be that way. Of course,

508
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: if you have a topic on hand, that's something we're

509
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: going to explore and dig deep into. But you're right,

510
00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 1: therapy can also just be about digging deep into you,

511
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: into something that's going on now, relating something that's happened

512
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 1: in the past to the present. And it doesn't have

513
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 1: to be deep and dark, although that does happen in therapy,

514
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: but it doesn't have to be that way. It's not

515
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 1: about like pathology or what's wrong with you, or what's

516
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 1: wrong with your mother, or what's wrong with anything. Sometimes

517
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 1: it's so refreshing and healing, even if there's no wound

518
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: there necessarily at the time, but it's like a refreshing

519
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 1: thing to be able to just look inward and rediscover

520
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: your values what's important to you. Because being able to

521
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 1: reflect on this stuff externally, I think on a regular

522
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: basis allows you to continue nurturing your sense of self.

523
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 1: And when you don't have a strong sense of self,

524
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: which seems like you have a like what's stronger than strongest,

525
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: you know, like a strong sense of self. It is

526
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 1: what allows you to, you know, have an outpouring of

527
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 1: love for other people, to still hope in others, and

528
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 1: continue to be influential, inspirational. These things don't happen if

529
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 1: you don't know who you are. Two things to that,

530
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 1: My grandma always says, you shouldn't eat because you're hungry.

531
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: You should eat so that you do not get hungry.

532
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: This is coming from a woman that at some point

533
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 1: knew what it meant to be. Right. So I have

534
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: learned that therapy isn't necessarily because you need the help

535
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 1: at the moment. It's so that you can be prepared

536
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 1: for that moment where you might not actually have access

537
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 1: to the therapist. Right. And then the second thing is

538
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 1: that the issues that I think that I've gone through

539
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:48,479
Speaker 1: are actually like chilling. They're actually a lot heavier than

540
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,280
Speaker 1: I think. Maybe it sounds like in the moment, but

541
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: I had to realize that the issue is always going

542
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: to be the issue. It's your relationship to the issue

543
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: that is positive or I getive right, life is going

544
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 1: to be what life is. It's your relationship to life

545
00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 1: that is either positive or negative. It's a real thing

546
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: for me when I'm in particular neighborhoods. I remember, like

547
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 1: working and performing in Europe, and the first time I

548
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 1: was in Poland. I remember what the response was to

549
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 1: me when I walked into certain spaces. But my relationship

550
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 1: to those things is that again, not only am I

551
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 1: a candle in the dark that is allowed to feel

552
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 1: what I feel, but then what can I do to

553
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: shift this space to leave it better than I saw it?

554
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 1: You know? Like I am the one person here that

555
00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: was born in the United States. I was born here,

556
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: I was raised here. Having said that, I also look

557
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:53,360
Speaker 1: like someone that has this like perpetual foreigner label stuck

558
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 1: to them. Regardless of having been born here, raised here,

559
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 1: educated here, I still encounter on a fairly regular basis

560
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: the idea from other people that I don't really belong here,

561
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 1: that I am a visitor to this country, which is

562
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 1: weird because I'm the most American one in this room

563
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: right And I think that experience, like ever since I

564
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: was very small, because my parents who decided to have

565
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,480
Speaker 1: their kids in this country and still name them like

566
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 1: foreign ly, like I have a very ethnic name, and

567
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 1: that is very much part of my experience and my

568
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 1: journey is shaped who I am. It made things difficult

569
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 1: when I was a small kid, but at this point

570
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: it's not something I would want to change. But I

571
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: think that and like navigating the world in this like

572
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 1: yellow body, it leaves this like gaping hole, this thing

573
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: I'm trying to fill of wanting to be included, of

574
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 1: wanting to be accepted, of wanting to belong And I

575
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 1: think that's one of the pillars of humanity. It's like

576
00:34:56,280 --> 00:35:00,320
Speaker 1: we're all looking for that sense of belonging. And I think,

577
00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: you know, my journey into my profession and the career

578
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 1: track I've chosen and everything that I've done at this

579
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 1: point is all related to that. And you said something about,

580
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 1: you know, getting to know people on an individual level,

581
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 1: on a one on one experience. When I get to

582
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:21,000
Speaker 1: learn about somebody else's life and their pain and their

583
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,360
Speaker 1: hope and their love, it allows me to feel closer

584
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 1: to that sense of belonging. It's like we're all actually

585
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 1: kind of the same in many ways, regardless of all

586
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:35,320
Speaker 1: kinds of stuff, and it allows me to feel included.

587
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 1: You know, I enter a field to mental health is

588
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 1: still very predominantly white, and you know, I find myself

589
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 1: in professional spaces where I still feel like the extreme minority,

590
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 1: which I think is still something that I grapple with.

591
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,120
Speaker 1: Its still something that I'm navigating and still something I'm

592
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 1: trying to feel completely comfortable with. Because ultimately I can

593
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,240
Speaker 1: say that I feel comfortable in my skin. I feel

594
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:04,399
Speaker 1: good that I live authentically, But there are still contexts,

595
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 1: and there are still spaces, and there are still times

596
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: where I don't feel that same confidence in myself. And

597
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 1: it's something I bring with me, I think to my

598
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 1: work because I know I look like a certain way,

599
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: and I know that people are thinking about something as

600
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 1: soon as they see me. And that's part of the

601
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 1: work too, and part of my personal and professional challenge

602
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 1: is always feeling like I have to prove myself. And

603
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,280
Speaker 1: you know, the nice thing, when I'm in an actual

604
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,840
Speaker 1: therapy session, when it's just me and this other person,

605
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 1: a lot of that pressure actually dissipates. It's not really

606
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 1: there as much because as soon as this other person

607
00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:45,359
Speaker 1: starts to recognize that they can feel safe because I'm

608
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 1: not here to talk about anything that would make them

609
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 1: feel othered in this one on one interaction, I feel

610
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 1: accepted by them. Too my clients, and I think that's

611
00:36:55,560 --> 00:37:00,359
Speaker 1: what intersectionality is about. Even for example, you share that

612
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 1: allows me to feel like you can understand my plight

613
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 1: a little bit more, because it's also one thing that

614
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 1: I've noticed because there are individuals that may look like

615
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 1: us that also don't have that awareness either, right. And

616
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 1: growing up in Jamaica, I was really fortunate to be

617
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: able to grow up and see black billionaires, to see

618
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 1: doctors that look like me, to have teachers both male

619
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,879
Speaker 1: and female, that looked like me. And when I went

620
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 1: to more House, I was very fortunate to have that continue.

621
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 1: But I will let you know that since leaving more House,

622
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 1: almost every instructor that I've had, every teacher that I've

623
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,760
Speaker 1: had in my master's program, I did not have one

624
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,480
Speaker 1: black instructor directly teach me. I had to go out

625
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 1: and find in the department, right. And one of the

626
00:37:55,280 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 1: things that really grounded me was actually knowing that I

627
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 1: know that it's possible. And I think that's also like

628
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 1: a double ed sword, because knowing what's possible and then

629
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 1: being in a space where it's not visibly seen it

630
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 1: then frustrates you because it's like, why isn't it happening.

631
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 1: But the reality is that if we can be intentional

632
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 1: and creative and mindful in not just our art but

633
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 1: the way that we live, the impact that we'll have

634
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 1: is so much longer lasting that we can literally shape

635
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 1: the way people are going to experience the world. Well, you, Lada,

636
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,800
Speaker 1: I mean hearing from you today, I mean I feel

637
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:40,799
Speaker 1: very inspired by your commitment to the work that is

638
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: so important to your heart, not just to your heart,

639
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:45,960
Speaker 1: which is so important to the world, right, Like, this

640
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 1: is work that I think we all believe is valuable

641
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:53,879
Speaker 1: and needed and critical. It's not even you know, it's

642
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: a it's not a luxury. This is just a necessity

643
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 1: for what we need is human kind. But what I

644
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:06,839
Speaker 1: find very indicative is that the work that you've been

645
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:11,799
Speaker 1: able to do with your family, through the amazing experiences

646
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 1: that you've had thanks to your family, through the work

647
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 1: that you have done in therapy, has given you the

648
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,399
Speaker 1: ability to now go out and want to share this

649
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 1: message with the world. Like that's what at least what

650
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 1: I make And you can totally agree disagree, but that's

651
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:32,120
Speaker 1: what I'm perceiving in someone like you, where you've been

652
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 1: through your pain, you've been through challenges. Of course, we're

653
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: always going through pain and challenges, but you're someone who's

654
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 1: created a toolkit for yourself, whether it's the tools that

655
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 1: you develop through therapy or you know. And so now

656
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 1: you're in a position of strength and empowerment in wanting

657
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 1: to go and be this light that we were discussing

658
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 1: and dealing with the pressure of being that light. But

659
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 1: that's some of the work that so many people are

660
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 1: trying to do right now. Is even feeling like I think,

661
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 1: I think we all know that it's hard to be

662
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:12,000
Speaker 1: the light when all you've seen is darkness, and we

663
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 1: know we don't want people to prematurely try and be

664
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: the light. And at the same time, we also know

665
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:20,400
Speaker 1: that ultimately, when you've walked out of your own darkness,

666
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: it's great to turn the light on for others. So

667
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 1: much of what therapy is doing is helping us make

668
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 1: sense of our emotional and mental self in order to

669
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 1: figure out what we want to do in the outside world.

670
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 1: And it sounds like that's work that you've been doing

671
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 1: and continue to do, which is giving you a sense

672
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 1: of strength to try and help others right now. And

673
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 1: I think we as human beings have the capacity to

674
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 1: develop that unlimited tool kit. But it's not until we

675
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: have great teachers and collaborators, access to information, access to

676
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 1: basic human needs, that we can stop thinking of survival

677
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 1: and we can then start to thrive. And so I

678
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,399
Speaker 1: have to give thanks for the blessings that I have.

679
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,360
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. A learner, thank you and so

680
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 1: did you have any final words or remarks for us

681
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 1: for today that you wanted to share? I wish I

682
00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 1: had something super wise. My relation to that is that's

683
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:23,279
Speaker 1: part of what I think I aim to have my

684
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 1: clients strive for in therapy is integration of separate pieces

685
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: of self. Integration of all these different components. Those are

686
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:36,280
Speaker 1: all very important things that I think about in conceptualizing

687
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 1: a client case. Also, really integrating all these things that

688
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 1: may feel disconnected or disjointed is what allows you to

689
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 1: continue to be authentic and move through the world as

690
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 1: somebody that you feel really comfortable being, somebody that you

691
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: want to be around. Thank you so much for sharing

692
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,919
Speaker 1: that very powerful everyone who's been listening and watching at home,

693
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: I hope today's episode has been enlightening in so many

694
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 1: different ways in not only the process of therapy, which

695
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:11,799
Speaker 1: is what we started with but in helping each and

696
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 1: every one of us recognize more coherently the amount of

697
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: work that we need to do as individuals and as

698
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: a society. I think that's ultimately what I always take

699
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 1: away in these conversations is just how much progress we

700
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,800
Speaker 1: need to make individually and collectively. And I think anyone

701
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:36,279
Speaker 1: who's listening too on purpose is dedicated to that. Believe

702
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 1: that everyone is dedicated to their personal growth and the

703
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,800
Speaker 1: growth of the society around them. And when we recognize

704
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 1: that those two things are not disconnected, that they're actually

705
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 1: one and the same. I often say to people, if

706
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 1: we care about ourselves, then we'll care about our kids.

707
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:55,439
Speaker 1: That's obvious. And then when you care about your kids,

708
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: you care about your kids school. And then when you

709
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 1: care about your kids school, you care about your kids down.

710
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 1: And when you care about your kids town, you care

711
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 1: about your kids city. And then when you care about

712
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 1: your kids city you can't. If you care, then your

713
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,880
Speaker 1: care doesn't stop. And I think when we take a

714
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: moment to invest in our own selves and our self

715
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 1: care and then expand that radius out, we can create

716
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 1: a better society for all. So thank you so much

717
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: everyone who's been listening. And watching today. Thank you to

718
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,359
Speaker 1: your allat of SAM for joining us, opening your heart,

719
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:29,359
Speaker 1: opening your mind. Hey su Joe, thank you so much

720
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:33,640
Speaker 1: for always guiding us and helping us navigate these wonderful conversations.

721
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,319
Speaker 1: And to everyone who's been listening and watching at home,

722
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 1: thank you so much for tuning in. We'll see you

723
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 1: again on another episode of On Purpose. This episode was

724
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 1: sponsored by Better Help Big thanks again to Hey su Joe,

725
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 1: head of clinical Operations at Better Help. Hey su Joe

726
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 1: is not my actual therapist, and we are not in

727
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 1: a therapist client relationship. Also, just because you might hear

728
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 1: something on the show that sounds similar to what you're experiencing,

729
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 1: beware of self diagnosis. You want to find a qualified

730
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 1: professional to assess and explore diagnosis if that's important to

731
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 1: you