1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty and relationships. It's The Velvet's 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson. 3 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 2: Psychotherapist, filmmaker, host of Igniting the Spark an author of 4 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 2: Your Big, Fat, Juicy Life and Everything After That comes 5 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 2: out today the day we are recording, April fifteenth. Stephanie 6 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,560 Speaker 2: James is here his Stephanie. 7 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,319 Speaker 3: Hi, Kelly, so good to see you. 8 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being here. I know today 9 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,159 Speaker 2: we were just talking before the podcast is a massive 10 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 2: day for you. The book came out today and you 11 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 2: were telling me there's been all sorts of interesting transitions 12 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,279 Speaker 2: that have happened in your life to get you to 13 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 2: this point, which we'll get into a lot of those 14 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 2: coming up. But you just moved to Santa Fe and 15 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 2: I'm wondering if you would share a little bit about 16 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,239 Speaker 2: that with the listeners, because you said it was a 17 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 2: very guided move for you, or you almost felt like 18 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,240 Speaker 2: there was no choice in the matter, it was just 19 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 2: something you had to do. 20 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, it was so wild. I haven't had this 21 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 3: experience in thirty two years, okay, and so you have 22 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 3: to know that it wasn't just like, oh, it was 23 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 3: a whim and I say it wasn't a decision, it 24 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 3: was a directive. Yeah, because I was literally in the 25 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 3: middle of a therapy session and it was just like boom, 26 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 3: it just came in and it was just like, you're 27 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 3: moving to Santa Fe. And now the reason that that 28 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 3: is so powerful for me, And like I said thirty 29 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 3: two years ago, I'll share really briefly because what happened 30 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 3: is so significant that that's why I listened to this. 31 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:38,160 Speaker 3: So at that time, I was living in Colorado. I 32 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 3: was living in Denver working on an adolescent psych unit, 33 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,759 Speaker 3: a lockdown adolescent psych unit. But I worked with four 34 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 3: of my favorite girlfriends and there were literally fourteen of 35 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 3: us up at my aunt. My aunt had a second 36 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 3: home up in Vail, Colorado, and so we were all 37 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 3: up there for this big ski weekend and having the 38 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 3: best time, you know, skiing all day. We'd ride dondola 39 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 3: to the top of the mountain and have margarita at 40 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 3: night and you know, so it's this great time. So 41 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,519 Speaker 3: it made no sense that the last night we're there, 42 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 3: Saturday night, I'm brushing my teeth and all of a sudden, 43 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 3: I start crying and the voice comes in and it's 44 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,920 Speaker 3: like you need to move back to Fort Collins, and 45 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 3: it was like this very strong yeah. And my friend 46 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 3: I was sharing the room with, she's like, why would 47 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 3: you want to do that? Like at the time, I 48 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 3: hadn't gone to grad school yet, and she's like, you're 49 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 3: the only non mastered person on the therapy team, you 50 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 3: work with all of us, why would you want to move? 51 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 3: And I said, I don't know, but it's that strong. 52 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 3: So I'm not one for remembering dates, but I'll always 53 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:46,279 Speaker 3: remember this one because the next day, Sunday was January fourteenth, 54 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 3: and my lease on my apartment was up February first. 55 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 3: I was a single mom with a four year old, 56 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 3: and so I call my mom, who lived in Fort 57 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 3: Collins the next day and I'm like, Mom, I'm moving home. 58 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 3: I don't have a job, but I know I have 59 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 3: to go. And she's like, well, that's interesting because our 60 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 3: renter isn't going to renew his lease, so we have 61 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 3: a place for you to move into February first. 62 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 2: What Okay? 63 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 3: So that was the first like serendipity and I'm like, great, 64 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 3: so I don't resign my lease. I moved my daughter 65 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 3: and I back to Fort Collins and literally within a 66 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:26,679 Speaker 3: few days, I had a job. And not only was 67 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 3: it just a job, I was working at Foothills Gateway 68 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 3: with my favorite aunt, which was so great. Her office 69 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,639 Speaker 3: was like caddy corner to mine. And I mean, it's 70 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 3: just some of the like sweet things. But Kelly, I'll 71 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 3: tell you the biggest thing. Three weeks to the day 72 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 3: after I moved back to Fort Collins, I get a 73 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 3: call from one of my girlfriends in Denver and they 74 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 3: said the adolescent unit had closed and everyone was laid off, 75 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 3: and the front page of the Rocky Mountain newspaper said 76 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 3: psychiatric abuses charged. 77 00:03:59,080 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 78 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 3: And so unbeknownst to us, we had scouts that would 79 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 3: go out around the nation finding kids to bring into treatment. 80 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 3: And this was before managed care, so we would keep 81 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 3: them and tell their insurance ran out, so seven to 82 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 3: nine months, and these scouts were getting a five thousand 83 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 3: dollars kickback per kid. Of course, all illegal. I would 84 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 3: have been out of a job, just signed a lease, 85 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 3: and as a single mom, I would have panicked. I 86 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 3: mean it would have been such a high stress, super 87 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:38,799 Speaker 3: difficult time for me. And instead, instead it was just seamless, right. 88 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 3: And so when this Colleen came in to come to 89 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 3: Santa Fe and it was so strong in my heart 90 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 3: and literally at that moment, Kelly, it was like time 91 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,599 Speaker 3: just kind of stopped. I kind of pride myself on 92 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 3: being able to be completely present with my clients, and 93 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, come back, come back. But then 94 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 3: I knew the same kind of serendipity started happening, you know. 95 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 3: The first one with a call in to my property 96 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 3: manager for my office because I had a lease until 97 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 3: the end of June, and I said, hey, I'm moving 98 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 3: to Santa Fe. And the first thing out of Robin's 99 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 3: mouth is, I'm so excited for you. Okay, we'll just 100 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 3: consider this your thirty days and then March tenth, I'll 101 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 3: just send you your deposit back. I mean like unheard of. 102 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 2: Right, totally unheard of. Yes, yeah, And. 103 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 3: So that was just one of many many things. The 104 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 3: place I ended up renting. I'm renting this beautiful casita 105 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 3: on five acres and one of my dearest friends and 106 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 3: her husband, I send her the text of my address 107 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 3: and she's like, oh my god, you are five minutes 108 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,679 Speaker 3: down the road from us gee. So you know, Kelly, 109 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,279 Speaker 3: it's just been phenomenal, and I know I'm meant to 110 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 3: be here, and I've already met so many incredible people 111 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,600 Speaker 3: in five weeks eat six weeks, now, I guess I've 112 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,039 Speaker 3: been here. Yeah. Plus you know the community of friends 113 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 3: I already had here's and I never wanted to live here. 114 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 3: I think that's important to say. I sit here all 115 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 3: the time, but I didn't want to live here. I 116 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 3: left all my friends, my family, my parents, my daughters, 117 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:22,120 Speaker 3: my grandsons, like it was that strong. And every day 118 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 3: and every night I feel like, you know, I go 119 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 3: to sleep and I wake up in the deepest sense 120 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,719 Speaker 3: of gratitude where it feels like it's just like vibrating 121 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 3: through my cells. Yeah, so I know I'm at the 122 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 3: right place. 123 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. And TVD on What's to come. I feel very 124 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 2: excited for you. 125 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you. 126 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,279 Speaker 2: So much of your work is tied to really getting 127 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 2: in touch with yourself and listening to your own inner knowing, 128 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 2: which is kind of what we're talking about. And I 129 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,160 Speaker 2: mentioned you had written You've written multiple books, The Spark, 130 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 2: Igniting your Best Life and Becoming Fears for your first 131 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 2: two books. So what made you want to write this 132 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 2: book right now, Big Fat, Juicy Life. What was the 133 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 2: inner knowing of this moment in time with this connection 134 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 2: for this book. 135 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 3: Well, a year ago in March, I had Neil Donald 136 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 3: Walsh on my podcast, and for people that don't know 137 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 3: who that is, he wrote the Conversation with God Books. 138 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you. 139 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 3: Know, back in the nineties and they sold like five 140 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 3: million copies the first one. It's printed in like eighty 141 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:30,840 Speaker 3: excuse me, thirty eight different languages. So I had him 142 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 3: on my show and a little bit kind of like Kelly, 143 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 3: when you and I just jumped on the screen together. 144 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 3: It was like there was this immediate heart connection. Yeah, 145 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 3: And he and I didn't even get to the interview 146 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,239 Speaker 3: for half an hour. We were just talking and laughing 147 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 3: and sharing. And at one point he just stops and 148 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,080 Speaker 3: looks at me and you can just see because I 149 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 3: have the video of it, so you see the download 150 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 3: coming through him. And he's like, Stephanie, you're going to 151 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 3: write your next book, and you're going to start tomorrow morning. 152 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 3: And the original title, he said, the title is going 153 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 3: to be I'm Dying to tell you about Death. And 154 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 3: he's like, it's going to have a global impact and 155 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 3: I'm going to endorse this book, okay. And again it's 156 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 3: like when that call comes, I answered, I show up 157 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 3: the next day at the keyboard. And I think this 158 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 3: is so interesting because my first two books they were 159 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 3: like just dating a baby. It was like a pregnancy, right. 160 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 3: They each took nine months. This book was written in 161 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,320 Speaker 3: a little under six weeks. 162 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 2: Geez, I can't even process. I know, it was just 163 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 2: flowing out of you. 164 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:38,200 Speaker 3: It's just flowing out of me. I mean it was. 165 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 3: I feel like again it was so downloaded, like I 166 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,559 Speaker 3: always feel like, I just showed up and whatever we're 167 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 3: supposed to come through came through. And then the other 168 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 3: wild part are the people that started showing up within 169 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 3: that six week period to be a part of it, 170 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 3: like Wayne Dyer's daughter Sagedyer and his wife Marceline. They 171 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 3: both are interviewed and in the book, Stephen Simon, who's 172 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 3: an Academy Award winning producer of the film What Dreams 173 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 3: May Come, with Robin Williams and Cuba Gooding, Junior, Suzanne Geeseman, 174 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 3: aril Fod. I mean, all these incredible contributors who have 175 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 3: had their own story that were just beautiful and perfect 176 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 3: fits to weave into this book, which which really is 177 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:28,280 Speaker 3: my own story and other people's story and research that 178 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 3: validate that death isn't the end for us. You know 179 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 3: that it's it's just the next chapter in our book 180 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 3: of eternity. And that's really what came through. 181 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,320 Speaker 2: I love that alternate title that he started with that 182 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 2: really sparked this for you and for the listeners. Could 183 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 2: you just give an overall summary of the book before 184 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 2: I dive into more of the questions. It's my big, fat, 185 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 2: juicy life and everything after. So death being one of 186 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 2: the undertone or overtones of the book, I guess, yeah. 187 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 3: Kelly, it's really about how we can befriend death. And 188 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 3: it's not about just everything being joyful all the time. 189 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,319 Speaker 3: I mean, that's definitely not my message anywhere. It's about 190 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 3: being with our real experience. And there is a chapter 191 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 3: on growing through grief. I mean that we really have 192 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,439 Speaker 3: to experience loss in our life. It's part in our journey. 193 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 3: And the book really though, is about life and when 194 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 3: we befriend that death is a part of it. We 195 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 3: can let go of some of this like desperateness and clinginess, 196 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 3: and there really is an anxiety. You know, the biggest 197 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 3: fear people have is the fear of death. That's the 198 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 3: number one fear. So if we are able to let 199 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 3: go of it and understand it in a different way, 200 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:43,319 Speaker 3: then this moment can become more sacred. We're not living 201 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 3: in anxiety, we're not living in fear. We can just 202 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 3: be right here, and it really does inform this moment. 203 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 2: Why do you think we're so scared of death? Is 204 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 2: it the unknown? 205 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 3: I think it is. I think because our brains, the 206 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 3: way our brains work, they love familiarity. Our brain, you know, 207 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 3: thrives on familiarity, and so when we don't have a 208 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 3: frame of reference, it can kick us into anxiety. And 209 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 3: the people you know, experience that just going to a 210 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 3: new school, or they get into a new relationship, or 211 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 3: they move someplace. I mean, that can all be very 212 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,240 Speaker 3: anxiety provoking for people, or when they get divorced because 213 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,240 Speaker 3: they have no idea what the other side looks like. Yeah, 214 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 3: well so the same is true for this. And yeah, 215 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 3: we have people that have near death experiences. I think 216 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,360 Speaker 3: there's a lot of things in the book that really 217 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 3: validate that death isn't the end because when I was 218 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,280 Speaker 3: doing research, seventy three percent of the people that were 219 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 3: tolled have had these kind of experiences where they've had 220 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:47,319 Speaker 3: someone that passed that, then they you know, had to 221 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,640 Speaker 3: encounter where they heard them, whether it's internally or a 222 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 3: friend of mine, John Shinnerer, who was also a psychologist, 223 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 3: his twenty four year old son died a year ago 224 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 3: and he was sharing with me. It's not book, but 225 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,240 Speaker 3: he was sharing with me personally that you know, like 226 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:05,599 Speaker 3: a week later, he's sitting there and he thought he 227 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 3: heard a cupboard open and turned around and nobody was there. 228 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 3: And the next thing he knows, he feels like a 229 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 3: bump against his chair and he's just like, okay, son, 230 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 3: you know. And so yeah, and so what's interesting. People 231 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:23,960 Speaker 3: are so afraid to talk about this stuff. People are afraid, 232 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 3: as we were just saying, to talk about death because 233 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:30,319 Speaker 3: they don't know about it. And I think that's one 234 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 3: of the things that's important about this is that opens 235 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 3: it up. You know. One of my good friends was 236 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 3: telling me about these death dinners that they're doing, and 237 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 3: I know that sounds so morbid. What it's about, though, 238 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 3: is like literally getting dressed up going for a gourmet 239 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 3: meal and the topic is death. It's like exploring it, 240 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 3: talking about it, you know. Again, it's like befriending it 241 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 3: instead of it being oh my gosh, you know what 242 00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 3: we what we suppress continue use. Right, it's like you 243 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,600 Speaker 3: to think about, you know, like what we resist persists. 244 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 3: So instead of being afraid, what if we brought that 245 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 3: out into the light and we just talked about it 246 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 3: and we had a different understanding. Right. And so then 247 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 3: these people that have had these experiences, they don't feel 248 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,320 Speaker 3: so marginalized, right, They don't have that fear of like, 249 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I can't talk about this, or people 250 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 3: think I'm crazy. No, it's like everybody's you know, having 251 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,679 Speaker 3: these experiences. 252 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 2: Well, and you mentioned the near death experience or people 253 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 2: who have had those moments and they've even maybe died 254 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:40,439 Speaker 2: and been brought back to life. It is a consistent 255 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,440 Speaker 2: theme amongst those types of people that I've known in 256 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,080 Speaker 2: my life or just the stories that I've heard to 257 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 2: where when that something like that happens, it completely changes 258 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 2: the way they live their life, or the way they 259 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,319 Speaker 2: view life, the purpose of their life, any of those things. 260 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 2: So are you finding that the more we normalize the 261 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:02,959 Speaker 2: death conversation, the more we changed the way we look 262 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 2: at our current life setup, our just life in general. 263 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 3: I think that that's really the key what we're going 264 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 3: to do is we dispel fear by speaking it, not 265 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 3: by shoving it down and pretending like it doesn't exist, 266 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 3: or I have to be strong, or I have to 267 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 3: show up a certain way. And I think that was 268 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 3: one of the important things about the Grief Chapter two. 269 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:30,560 Speaker 3: It's like embracing what's here. Yeah, you know, Rumy has 270 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:34,560 Speaker 3: that great poem the guest House, and it really speaks 271 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 3: to that. And Lord knows, I'm not going to paraphrase 272 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,520 Speaker 3: the entire poem. I wish I had it memorized, but 273 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 3: I don't. But one of the beautiful things about that 274 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 3: poem is it says, you know, this journey of being 275 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:50,440 Speaker 3: human is a guesthouse. So every day a new visitor arrives, 276 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:55,640 Speaker 3: some meanness, a depression, sadness comes. He says, welcome them 277 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 3: all at the door, laughing, and invite them in because 278 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 3: each has been sent as a guide from the office. 279 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 2: In my life, grief and pain have been the biggest 280 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 2: catalyst for change. So do you think that grief can 281 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 2: be the gateway for the most massive transformation in our lives? 282 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 2: And it's one of those things that a lot of 283 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 2: people like you said, suppress and we don't want to feel. 284 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 2: But instead of we're almost like inhibiting ourselves from actually 285 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 2: living by doing that, by not fully feeling it and 286 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 2: processing it or going through it or allowing it to 287 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:38,600 Speaker 2: be the catalyst. 288 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I hear what you're saying. I do feel like 289 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 3: if we allowed ourselves that level of grief I speak about, 290 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 3: Like in Ireland, you know, they have this procession through 291 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 3: the streets when someone dies and people are wailing through 292 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:58,920 Speaker 3: the streets. It's a community expression, you know, same thing 293 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 3: with the Lakota tribes where you know when the person 294 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 3: lost someone, they'd cut their hair and it was again 295 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 3: very a communal experience where it was okay to be 296 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 3: sad Dia delos muertos, where they absolutely celebrate people that 297 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,040 Speaker 3: have died. It's where they feel like the veil has thinned. 298 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 3: And so you know, these offerings of food and it's 299 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 3: okay to cry and to wail. And I think so 300 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 3: many of us, you know, we were taught when we 301 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 3: were kids, Oh, if you're going to cry, go to 302 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,400 Speaker 3: your room. Yeah, you know, and it's this very private 303 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,720 Speaker 3: and so I think part of this transformation for us 304 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 3: is not only learning to have these conversations, but learning 305 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 3: to allow ourselves to be with our full experience. And 306 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 3: so when you talk about the healing that comes from that, 307 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 3: there's a part of me that says, oh, I want 308 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:55,240 Speaker 3: to change the archaic narrative that we have to suffer 309 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 3: in order to heal, that we have to suffer in 310 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 3: order to grow. Yeah, and you're right. I'm telling you 311 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 3: my own grief journeys have been for sure, what's cracked 312 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 3: my heart open, what's allowed me to look at the 313 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 3: parts of myself maybe I didn't want to look at. 314 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 3: And so I do think it can be phenomenally transformative. 315 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 3: But it's not that we're welcoming pain into our lives. 316 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,199 Speaker 3: It's saying, if you're having a loss, and if you 317 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,359 Speaker 3: have a grief experience, there's a different way to hold it, 318 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,879 Speaker 3: and there's a different way to be with it. So 319 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 3: there's actually this alchemical change that happens within you where 320 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:34,320 Speaker 3: you're not doing the spiritual bypass, you're not shoving it down, 321 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 3: you're being with it. And that's the most incredible medicine 322 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 3: I think there is. 323 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 2: Well, and I'm going to butcher this quote, but what's 324 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 2: the quote that says something about grief is only a 325 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 2: sign of how much you loved essentially, Like and you 326 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 2: mentioned the heart cracking open. Every time I've allowed myself 327 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 2: to fully fill the depth of my grief, and I'm 328 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,960 Speaker 2: a very comfortable with feelings person, so I think I 329 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,040 Speaker 2: go there a little easier than some others. But anytime 330 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,679 Speaker 2: I've allowed myself to do that, the amount of love 331 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 2: that I can feel on the other side of that 332 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:12,439 Speaker 2: is exponentially greater. Like it is so much bigger the 333 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:15,760 Speaker 2: depth that I can go to, and love only thrives 334 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 2: from how far I let myself go into the grief. 335 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:23,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's so beautiful and that's really it 336 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 3: when we allow ourselves to be fully in our hearts. Yeah, 337 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 3: you know, it's like it actually expands. Yeah, it feels 338 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 3: like maybe it's cracking and breaking open, but it's actually 339 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 3: I feel like it's growing pains because it's extending. 340 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree, And I think that that is a 341 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 2: really for me at least, that's been a really good 342 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:45,720 Speaker 2: switch of how to change the narrative around grief, because 343 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, it's not like you want to tell people 344 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 2: go sit in your suffering or just go suffer and 345 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,680 Speaker 2: be pain and pain all the time. No one wants 346 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 2: to do that, but I think it's for me. The 347 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,679 Speaker 2: reason I feel comfortable doing it is because I know 348 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 2: what's on the other side. Yeah, you call the book 349 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 2: a passport to enter freedom, which I loved. Tell us 350 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,159 Speaker 2: a little bit more about that. Why is this book 351 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,680 Speaker 2: the passport to inner freedom? 352 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 3: Because I think we have so much programming and again, 353 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:17,880 Speaker 3: so many and I call them archaic narratives, but they're 354 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,280 Speaker 3: also how we've been enculturated. It's how we've grown up 355 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 3: around grief, around loss, and again these aren't conversations that 356 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 3: few people are comfortable having. I think it's freedom because 357 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 3: when you let go of the fear of death being 358 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 3: the end, Yeah, it truly does ignite something in you. 359 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 3: It allows you to get rid of these layers of conditioning. 360 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 3: And there are definitely ways in the book, like at 361 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,680 Speaker 3: the end of every chapter there are these tapping in 362 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 3: places so that there's specific exercises and things you can 363 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 3: do to like start shedding some of those layers. Because 364 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,679 Speaker 3: like my brand and my first book, The Spark, the 365 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 3: Spark is that essence that is truly us, and so 366 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 3: circumstances and situations can feel like it covers that up, 367 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:14,040 Speaker 3: but it's never doused. So our work is how do 368 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,640 Speaker 3: we excavate that? And the more that we excavate that, 369 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 3: the more we experience inner freedom. 370 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 2: So the more we excavate the spark within amongst all 371 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:30,159 Speaker 2: of the grief, the more freedom we feel. It's hitting 372 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,439 Speaker 2: me because of you know, the way our world is 373 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,639 Speaker 2: right now, I feel like there's a lot, there's just 374 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 2: a lot, and so a lot of us might be 375 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,879 Speaker 2: living in that moment that we're not able to tap 376 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 2: into the beauty, the spark, the fully lived life, and 377 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 2: so I don't know, that's just hitting me, like, as 378 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 2: we're talking right now of how beautiful that kind of 379 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 2: freedom is amongst all the chaos, amongst all the inner 380 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,560 Speaker 2: turmoil that we're kind of all navigating right now. 381 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 3: It reminds me, as you said that what came up 382 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:07,000 Speaker 3: for me was Victor Frankel, who was a survivor of Auschwitz, 383 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 3: who wrote man Search for Meaning. Yeah, and his famous quote, 384 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 3: Again this isn't going to be exactly his quote, but 385 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,679 Speaker 3: it's something about like basically like in the end, the 386 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 3: one thing we can choose is our own attitude. We 387 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,360 Speaker 3: can choose our own way, you know. And here's someone 388 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 3: who had like the worst of circumstances, and so he 389 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 3: had to go within to say, Okay, I'm going to 390 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 3: make meaning out of this situation. I want to share 391 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 3: what's happened here when I leave so that other people 392 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 3: can be aware. So hopefully this kind of situation never 393 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:47,000 Speaker 3: happens again. So I feel like, even with everything so 394 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,640 Speaker 3: crazy right now in our world and all the chaos 395 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,719 Speaker 3: that's going on in our nation right now, this is 396 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 3: imperative where we can come back to these still points 397 00:21:56,080 --> 00:22:00,920 Speaker 3: within us, that we can resource ourselves beyond the media, 398 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 3: beyond what's on the news. And it's not about negating 399 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 3: that or putting your head in the sand. It is, though, 400 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 3: about when we touch that spark. There is something there 401 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 3: that is bigger than everything going on right It's that 402 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 3: eternal spark that goes on. And I speak about this 403 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,160 Speaker 3: in the beginning of the book, you know, being this 404 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 3: little girl who was very very aware that like, oh, 405 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,119 Speaker 3: like we're never really born and we never die like 406 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 3: that that is us and I think we're so in 407 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,240 Speaker 3: touch with it when we're little. It's just who we are. 408 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 3: We are that essence, we are that spark until as 409 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,439 Speaker 3: you know, Don Miguel Ruez says in the Four Agreements, 410 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:44,879 Speaker 3: we become domesticated. So before we become domesticated, we are that, 411 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 3: and so so much of this is really a return 412 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 3: to that place within us. That's where our strength, our beauty, 413 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 3: our resiliency lies. It's not outside. 414 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 2: Right. Well, I'm so glad you're talking about this because 415 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 2: saying that, I kept thinking of something that really frustrates 416 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,679 Speaker 2: me when I see this in culture, and I've not 417 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 2: been able to really name it. I don't even think 418 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 2: I've ever said this out loud, but when I hear 419 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,080 Speaker 2: people go, you get this one life, I'm like, no, 420 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 2: you don't like that? Is always my response in my head. 421 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:22,119 Speaker 2: And I don't know where I've gotten that knowing from either, 422 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,360 Speaker 2: but I've always known it like it's not as simple 423 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 2: as that, and I don't believe that, And now I 424 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,480 Speaker 2: can verbalize that more. I talk about a lot on 425 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 2: this podcast what I believe our soul is here to do. 426 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,480 Speaker 2: But I think what's interesting is all of the focus 427 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 2: in our world is about this world in this moment. 428 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,280 Speaker 2: What we do in a tangible day to day way, 429 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,199 Speaker 2: like what is our job? Whatever happens to us in 430 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 2: work is basically like, oh, we're successful or we're not, 431 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 2: and you know all these like tangible materialistic things and 432 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 2: those matter of course, Like I want to live a 433 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 2: great life. I know you want to live a great life, 434 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 2: But what is the deeper calling of our soul? And 435 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 2: I think talking about death is such an interesting gateway 436 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:11,080 Speaker 2: into discovering that because we talk about sole purpose all 437 00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 2: the time, but we don't talk about the afterlife and 438 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,199 Speaker 2: then what's next and all of that stuff. So you 439 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 2: can get comfortable with that, then it's like maybe you 440 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 2: would change the way you're living your life here? Does 441 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 2: that make sense? I know, I just got all the 442 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,120 Speaker 2: way around. It really does. 443 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 3: So what I'm hearing from you and what I get 444 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,439 Speaker 3: is like this whole thing of like it's not just 445 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 3: about defining ourselves by our careers or what we do 446 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 3: or how much money is in our bank account, Like 447 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,600 Speaker 3: there's not really who we are, no, no, and so 448 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,360 Speaker 3: and what it reminds me of. I'll share this really 449 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 3: quick story. It's in my film One Sparks Ig Nights. Yeah, 450 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,639 Speaker 3: And I share this in that film because it was 451 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,919 Speaker 3: such a powerful, poignant thing that really speaks to what 452 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,440 Speaker 3: you were just saying and so again this is you know, 453 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 3: I keep dating myself, but this has probably been twenty 454 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 3: five years ago. And I went to a Sufi school 455 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,199 Speaker 3: in San Francisco for a week, okay, And as I 456 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:15,159 Speaker 3: met the presenter, doctor Jaffy, on the way and he 457 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 3: shook my hand and it was one of those moments 458 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 3: where I'm like, okay, he's holding my hand too long 459 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:20,680 Speaker 3: and he's looking into my soul. 460 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,200 Speaker 2: You know, I was how you felt it I felt. 461 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,280 Speaker 3: I was like okay. And so we go on and 462 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 3: I was there with a friend and we sit down 463 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,159 Speaker 3: and there's about forty people there. He goes up on 464 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 3: stage and starts talking and I don't know three fourths 465 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 3: of the way through, he looks out in the audience 466 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:39,040 Speaker 3: and he says, hey, you in the blue coat, I 467 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 3: have a message for you. And I'm looking around and 468 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 3: I'm looking around at me, no one in the bratt 469 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:51,440 Speaker 3: And he says, this is what you need to hear. 470 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,920 Speaker 3: And he says it and I can't hear him. 471 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:55,360 Speaker 2: What do you mean? 472 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:59,560 Speaker 3: I could not actually hear him, and I look at 473 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 3: my you know, my girlfriend said to beside me, and 474 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 3: I'm like, what did he say? And she's like kind 475 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,239 Speaker 3: of looking at me shrugging your shoulders, and he kind 476 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,639 Speaker 3: of laughs, and he goes, my dear, what I said 477 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,760 Speaker 3: was he says it again, and I still can't hear him, 478 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 3: and by then people are starting to laugh, and he's like, 479 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 3: you are really resistant to this, and he said, my dear, 480 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,760 Speaker 3: what I'm trying to say is and Kelly, he goes 481 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,320 Speaker 3: to say it a third time, and all the air 482 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 3: conditioning units and the place go on and nobody can 483 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:33,240 Speaker 3: hear him. Why so then everybody is laughing, you know, 484 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 3: and he's like, Okay, come up here. And so I 485 00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,720 Speaker 3: walk up there, and I said, on these steps beside him, 486 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,399 Speaker 3: and he says, my dear, what is so difficult for 487 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 3: you to hear and what you are so resistant to 488 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:51,919 Speaker 3: is stop trying. Stop trying. And he said, you know 489 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 3: you've been trying to be perfect. You were trying to 490 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,680 Speaker 3: be perfect your whole life for your father, and now 491 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,800 Speaker 3: you're trying to do it for your husband. Stop trying. 492 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,440 Speaker 3: And it was the biggest, you know, just awakening within 493 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,160 Speaker 3: me of like I had been trying to do everything externally, 494 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 3: just as you were saying, if I could just be 495 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 3: sustful enough, if I could just have the right job, 496 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,520 Speaker 3: have the right flows, have the right body, have the 497 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,920 Speaker 3: right relationship, then I would be okay, I would feel 498 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:22,399 Speaker 3: lovable or happy inside. But I never did. And it 499 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 3: was like, oh, yeah, that's right because it's an insight. 500 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 2: We were talking about this a little bit before the podcast, 501 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,120 Speaker 2: that you do a lot of different things the way 502 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,159 Speaker 2: that I do a lot of different things, and your 503 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 2: day job, I would say, is a psychotherapist. So it's 504 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 2: interesting because in that part of your career, I would 505 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,760 Speaker 2: imagine there's a lot of deep diving into the why 506 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 2: we do what we do, you know, from a brain 507 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:57,600 Speaker 2: perspective or the nervous system, what's driving us. And you 508 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,439 Speaker 2: have a story of childhood where you thought everything was 509 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,080 Speaker 2: great in your life and then out of nowhere, your 510 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,640 Speaker 2: dad just leaves the family. So I would imagine that 511 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:10,639 Speaker 2: that happening really structured a lot of your journey. And 512 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:13,520 Speaker 2: like you're saying, the trying we repeat that in relationships, 513 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 2: and so you've analyzed all of that, then you get 514 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,400 Speaker 2: to this place where now this new part of your 515 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,640 Speaker 2: career is yes, Okay, that's why I did it all. 516 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 2: But what am I here? What's the deeper stuff that 517 00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,080 Speaker 2: I'm here to do from a soul place and you 518 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,119 Speaker 2: don't have to try to do that stuff. That's the 519 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,159 Speaker 2: stuff that we don't even know why we know how 520 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,120 Speaker 2: to do it. We're just driven to do it. We're 521 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,959 Speaker 2: driven to move to Santa Fe for whatever reason. Like 522 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,440 Speaker 2: our job is just to listen to the inner knowing. 523 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 2: So what an interesting kind of dichotomy between the two 524 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 2: careers you have even. 525 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I love that, I mean to me kind 526 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 3: of like you, like we were talking about before, It 527 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 3: just we have so many parts to who we are, 528 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 3: and so instead of just saying I have to have 529 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 3: all that fit in one little box, it's like, no, 530 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 3: there's so many different parts of what and how I 531 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 3: guess I want to contribute, you know, I mean, yeah, 532 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,120 Speaker 3: there's a through line you know, on my film poster 533 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 3: it says your period healing period matters period, because I 534 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 3: truly believe that, you know, each one of us are 535 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,600 Speaker 3: like these golden threads and the fabric of humanity, like 536 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 3: it does matter how we show up and how we 537 00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 3: contribute matters, and so I think that's in all my work. 538 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 3: But it's so fun to get to use all these differents, 539 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 3: you know, right, you. 540 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:37,440 Speaker 2: Can't really get so one without the other. Like for me, 541 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:41,840 Speaker 2: at least, I've needed to understand how my childhood impacted 542 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 2: the decisions I was making as an adult to then 543 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 2: be able to get in touch with who am I 544 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,600 Speaker 2: as a soul, not as like this external version of myself, 545 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,280 Speaker 2: you know, like I needed all the steps. They all matter, 546 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:57,080 Speaker 2: like you said, But it's just interesting to me. I 547 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 2: don't know just all the different pieces. I find that 548 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:03,120 Speaker 2: really fascinating. What does a big, fat, juicy life mean 549 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 2: to you today? 550 00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 3: I love that because I really believe living a big, fat, 551 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,800 Speaker 3: juicy life is living a full life, and what that 552 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 3: means is living a life with the least amount of 553 00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:19,360 Speaker 3: fear possible. Yes, we're gonna feel fear. Yes we're hardwired 554 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 3: for fear. It's not about negating that, but it's about 555 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 3: having the full experience. I mean, part of the juice 556 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 3: is actually when we go into pain. Yeah, you know, 557 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:31,800 Speaker 3: it's not negating those parts of us. And again, I 558 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,920 Speaker 3: think though, when we embrace those parts, then the good 559 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,080 Speaker 3: stuff is even more rich. You know, the joy feels 560 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 3: at an even deeper, achred level because we're not just 561 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 3: skimming the surface of our experience. And you know, I 562 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 3: found it interesting. My dear friend George Capanelli when he 563 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 3: read the book, and he's one of the people that 564 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 3: endorsed the book, you know, he said, this is really 565 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 3: a love story. You know, this book really is a 566 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 3: love story, and it's a love story about loving our 567 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:06,720 Speaker 3: lives and loving this experience. And also I do think 568 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 3: it's important. You know, you brought up the thing with 569 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 3: my father leaving, and I think one of the things 570 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:20,280 Speaker 3: that is incredible is our relationship totally fell apart. You know, 571 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,240 Speaker 3: I was forever in my life trying to earn that 572 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,960 Speaker 3: man's love and approval after he left when I was 573 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 3: sixteen and never felt like I could. And so six 574 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,720 Speaker 3: years before he passed, and almost three years since he's passed. 575 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,560 Speaker 3: Six years before he did, I ended my relationship with 576 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,400 Speaker 3: he and my stepmother because it had been so painful 577 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 3: throughout my life, and I did so I talk about 578 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,520 Speaker 3: this and becoming fierce how we can detach with love 579 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 3: where you can acknowledge like thank you for all these gifts. 580 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,320 Speaker 3: And at the same time, I say, my dad has 581 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 3: been one of the greatest loves of my life and 582 00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:02,480 Speaker 3: the greatest pain. And so the beautiful piece though Kelly 583 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 3: and for readers of the book, they'll see this progressive journey. 584 00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 3: Once my father passed, my relationship with him has been phenomenal. 585 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 3: I never would have thought of having a relationship with 586 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 3: my dad afterwards, right, but I am telling you right now, 587 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:24,080 Speaker 3: the way that he has shown up over and over 588 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 3: again has been mind blowing. If I did not believe 589 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,720 Speaker 3: it in an afterlife, I'm telling you I do now. 590 00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 2: It's almost like amens from the other side. 591 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it was very wild because my dad 592 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 3: had passed in December, and in January I had the 593 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:48,200 Speaker 3: wonderful Marla Freeze on my show. And Marla's a Hollywood actress. 594 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 3: Her book is American Psychic. She's helped the FBI in 595 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:57,360 Speaker 3: La solve all these cold case murders and just she's 596 00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 3: a phenomenal contributor. And I write about our experience in 597 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:06,720 Speaker 3: the book because as I'm interviewing her in January, she says, oh, 598 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 3: your dad's here. At minute twenty six, you can see 599 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 3: this in the video. She says that, and then you 600 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,840 Speaker 3: see literally this orb of light, not go straight up, 601 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 3: not go diagonally, literally go like this in the frame. 602 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,560 Speaker 3: And she starts laughing. She's like, did you see that, like, 603 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,120 Speaker 3: I couldn't miss it, right, you know, there's no way 604 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,840 Speaker 3: I could have missed that. And she said, you know, 605 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,880 Speaker 3: your dad has a lot of cleanup to do, but 606 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,560 Speaker 3: let's get together in the middle of February and connect. 607 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 3: And when we did, she was telling me things there's 608 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 3: no way she could have known about my father. She said, 609 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 3: you know, your dad is so sad that he chose 610 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,480 Speaker 3: to filter all his love to you through his wife, 611 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 3: the woman he left my mom for, and some things 612 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 3: that were just so poignant. But the bigger thing was, 613 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,840 Speaker 3: you know, she said, well, you know your dad's going 614 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:06,440 Speaker 3: to keep showing up. And the truth was I mean, 615 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,960 Speaker 3: and I write about it in the book, it really 616 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,480 Speaker 3: began again. Here I am in a therapy session and 617 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:15,760 Speaker 3: I'm doing EMDR, which is a protocol where the client 618 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 3: actually has their eyes closed. It's a trauma protocol. And 619 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 3: as I'm sitting there, you know, you're intently watching this person. 620 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:27,320 Speaker 3: They do ninety seconds of eyes closed being with the trauma, 621 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,600 Speaker 3: and then they come out every ninety seconds and you say, okay, 622 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 3: what did you notice what happened? Well, as this woman 623 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:38,799 Speaker 3: is doing that, this huge bird, which I think is 624 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,520 Speaker 3: an owl when I first see it. This is just 625 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:46,400 Speaker 3: a few days after my father had passed. And mind you, 626 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:49,640 Speaker 3: right when he was sick, and then until he died. 627 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 3: For twelve nights, every single night, I dreamt of him, 628 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 3: and it was things like some of them are so benign. 629 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,680 Speaker 3: We were like playing cribbage. He had taught me cribbage 630 00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:00,440 Speaker 3: as a child. But they were just these sweet dreams 631 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:04,160 Speaker 3: where we were just together having conversations. Well, in that time, 632 00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 3: I'm sitting there, I didn't even realize in the alley 633 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,120 Speaker 3: that the window that I looked at at this alley 634 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,520 Speaker 3: there was a telephone pole. I'd never noticed that telephone 635 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,200 Speaker 3: pole before. But here this huge bird lands on it, 636 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,920 Speaker 3: and then it's just staring at me through the window. 637 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:24,839 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I realize. I realize, oh my god, 638 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:29,040 Speaker 3: that's not an owl. It was a hawk. And I'm living. 639 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,840 Speaker 3: I mean, at the time, I'm not living. I'm working 640 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,840 Speaker 3: in downtown Port Collins. Not a lot of hawks there, no, 641 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,879 Speaker 3: And I stay to my client, excuse me for one 642 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:41,239 Speaker 3: moment because I'm using my phone as a timer, and 643 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,319 Speaker 3: I take a picture of the bird because I'm like, 644 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,560 Speaker 3: no one's gonna believe this. Yeah, because it was so big, 645 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,839 Speaker 3: and I actually did get a picture of it, which 646 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:54,240 Speaker 3: is so awesome. And then it was a few days 647 00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:58,080 Speaker 3: later I was looking for Christmas ornaments for my partner 648 00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:03,359 Speaker 3: at the time. I pull up an Etsy website and 649 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:08,719 Speaker 3: the first ornament is this big hawk with the inscription 650 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:10,200 Speaker 3: I will always be with you. 651 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,040 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you know. 652 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 3: And you know, we're like, you can't make this stuff. 653 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:17,759 Speaker 2: Cannot no, you know. 654 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,360 Speaker 3: And so when Marla said, you know, your dad's going 655 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,960 Speaker 3: to keep appairing to you, she said, you know he's 656 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:28,040 Speaker 3: he's gonna appear at your wedding. And it was only 657 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,799 Speaker 3: by total Again. I'm driving with one of my girlfriends, 658 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,759 Speaker 3: getting ready to go to our outdoor wedding and she 659 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 3: has a big escalade with a big sun roof, and 660 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 3: we have to stop on the road because we've got 661 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,239 Speaker 3: to make sure all the groom and the groom's men 662 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,120 Speaker 3: are all in the house. And so while we're sitting 663 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,160 Speaker 3: there and she knew the story with the hawk, we 664 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:53,200 Speaker 3: look up and this hawk is circling the car. I mean, 665 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,400 Speaker 3: we are. I mean I have full body chills right 666 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 3: now just recalling it. You know, it was just like 667 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,839 Speaker 3: so again, you know these and there are so many 668 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,799 Speaker 3: more with my father, but I won't spend time talking 669 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:06,399 Speaker 3: about them. But the hawk thing was just one that's happened, this. 670 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,439 Speaker 2: Reoccurring camp miss it. Yeah, no, and. 671 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:13,040 Speaker 3: Other people have experienced it too, so it's it's like, yeah, 672 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,280 Speaker 3: this is really happening, this is really real. 673 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 2: If you had to say one thing that you would 674 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:21,040 Speaker 2: hope readers would walk away from reading this book with, 675 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:22,480 Speaker 2: what would that be. 676 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:27,640 Speaker 3: I think it would really be that despite what's happening 677 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,840 Speaker 3: in their life right now, despite what's going on, or 678 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:35,040 Speaker 3: how much fear they have, if they can pause, you know, 679 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,480 Speaker 3: I would say, there's power in the pause. 680 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,440 Speaker 2: For sure, Yeah, you know, and put down. 681 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 3: Our devices and put down the distraction and just breathe 682 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:47,200 Speaker 3: into their hearts. You know, there's exercises in here where 683 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,040 Speaker 3: I'm guiding people through, like how you can just put 684 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 3: your hands on your heart and get in touch with 685 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:55,640 Speaker 3: that spark that is within you. I think my hope 686 00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:59,399 Speaker 3: is people walk away with the message that they are 687 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,120 Speaker 3: a part of the divine, that the Divine is in 688 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:07,000 Speaker 3: them as them and comes through them, and that divine spark. 689 00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:11,239 Speaker 3: You know, Quantum physics and just regular physics tells us 690 00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,960 Speaker 3: that energy is never born, energies, it never dies, it 691 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 3: just changes shape. Yeah, and so when we know that 692 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,240 Speaker 3: we are that eternal spark, I think we can shine 693 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,640 Speaker 3: more brightly in the world and really help to lift 694 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:29,200 Speaker 3: up one another as we let go of fear we 695 00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:30,040 Speaker 3: move into love. 696 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,600 Speaker 2: The book is called My Big, Fat, Juicy Life and 697 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,440 Speaker 2: Everything After. It is out now you guys can go 698 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,000 Speaker 2: get it, and I will put it in the description 699 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,719 Speaker 2: of this podcast. But we did mention there's some other 700 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:43,000 Speaker 2: books that you've written, and also you have a podcast 701 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,120 Speaker 2: called Ignite the Spark, which is also the name of 702 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,360 Speaker 2: your other book, The Spark. So will you tell us 703 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,520 Speaker 2: a little bit about what people could find on the podcast. 704 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:56,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's Igniting the Spark. So Igniting the Spark, 705 00:38:56,280 --> 00:39:02,200 Speaker 3: it's conversations with thought leaders, change makers, luminaries in the 706 00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 3: areas of psychology, science, spirituality, all to really help us 707 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:10,839 Speaker 3: truly to ignite that spark within us. And so if 708 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:14,480 Speaker 3: people go to my website, which is Stephanie James dot world, 709 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:18,120 Speaker 3: they can find the podcast, my books, a trailer for 710 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,880 Speaker 3: the film, and a link to the film that's playing 711 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,759 Speaker 3: on Humanity Streams Plus right now and just events. And 712 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:27,799 Speaker 3: I love if they go there, there's a free It's 713 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:32,040 Speaker 3: a chakra guided meditation that I do, and I had 714 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,360 Speaker 3: so many clients that would say, can you record that 715 00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,000 Speaker 3: for me? I love that, so guide them through it 716 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:40,000 Speaker 3: in session, and so I put that on the website 717 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:41,480 Speaker 3: as a free gift to everybody. 718 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,440 Speaker 2: Oh amazing. I'll put the website as well in the 719 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,480 Speaker 2: description of this podcast. If people want to keep up 720 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,680 Speaker 2: with you on social media, can you tell us where 721 00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:49,200 Speaker 2: to find you? 722 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:56,239 Speaker 3: It's Stephanie the Spark on Instagram and Stephanie James on Facebook. 723 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,000 Speaker 3: So I would love you know. I'm always one of 724 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,600 Speaker 3: those people. And in the well, there's a place where 725 00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:04,359 Speaker 3: you can go to your big fat juicylife dot org 726 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,640 Speaker 3: and share your own story. That's great, and those are 727 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:10,520 Speaker 3: always confidential, but I think it's so important that we 728 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:14,239 Speaker 3: start having the conversation. Yea, So we're opening this up 729 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,080 Speaker 3: and just saying yeah, me too, Yeah I had that 730 00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:18,080 Speaker 3: experience too. 731 00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,759 Speaker 2: I always say to my listeners, the reason I even 732 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,920 Speaker 2: want to do this podcast is for that connection, the 733 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,640 Speaker 2: me sharing part of my story and then hearing back 734 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:30,920 Speaker 2: from listeners the story of theirs that resonated because of 735 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,719 Speaker 2: what I shared, or you know, what their experience was 736 00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:36,040 Speaker 2: at that exact thing. That's the stuff that fuels my 737 00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:37,880 Speaker 2: heart and so I'm hearing a lot of that with 738 00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:41,200 Speaker 2: you too. But if you are listening and you feel 739 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,160 Speaker 2: inspired to do that, definitely go do it. It matters 740 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:46,000 Speaker 2: more than you know, is what I always tell people. 741 00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,520 Speaker 3: I love the stories. I mean, that's my life, right. 742 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,440 Speaker 3: I sit in the interior of people's hearts all day 743 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:52,680 Speaker 3: long listening to story. 744 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:53,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. 745 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:56,759 Speaker 3: I'm so honored, you know, literally, it's it's the greatest 746 00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:00,399 Speaker 3: part of this journey is that we get to show 747 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:03,320 Speaker 3: up for each other like that and witness each other's stories. 748 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,799 Speaker 2: Stephanie, thank you so much for being here. I love 749 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:06,360 Speaker 2: this chat. 750 00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,279 Speaker 3: I do too. Kelly, thank you so much. What a 751 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:10,400 Speaker 3: joy to be with you. 752 00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 2: Thank you guys for listening. 753 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,680 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to The Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, 754 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,360 Speaker 1: where we believe everyone has a little velvet in a 755 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:22,560 Speaker 1: little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty, 756 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,319 Speaker 1: and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts.