Speaker 1: Welcome back, and everybody the Golden Hour, Susan.
Speaker 2: And I'm Kathy, and we're so excited to be back.
Speaker 2: But I got to tell you, Susan, you always look fabulous.
Speaker 2: This is one of these days where I am so
Speaker 2: glad that there's only going to be like a video
Speaker 2: snippet of me, because you know this. I was in
Speaker 2: bed so sick all weekend fever.
Speaker 1: Well, you look pretty damn good for being sick in
Speaker 1: bed all weekend.
Speaker 2: I literally got up today and washed my hair and
Speaker 2: took a shower. But I have to tell you I panicked,
Speaker 2: and you you who were at your friend's house at
Speaker 2: the beach all weekend. I needed my friend because here's
Speaker 2: what happened, Susan. I panicked because I started running a
Speaker 2: fever and I thought, oh my god, I'm going to
Speaker 2: end up back in.
Speaker 3: The hospital with them. I couldn't breathe.
Speaker 2: I had the pulsometer and a roxometer and whatever it's called,
Speaker 2: and my oxygen level was I mean, it was like
Speaker 2: living a nightmare all over again. But I'm better today,
Speaker 2: and well.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry to hear that, but I have to
Speaker 1: share your beach. But was in Sea Isle City there
Speaker 1: were six of us. We had so much fun and
Speaker 1: we did nothing. That was the best part. There was
Speaker 1: no humidity, an ocean breeze, I mean the rough the
Speaker 1: waves were rough. But other than that, can you say perfect?
Speaker 3: Wait? Were there are there sharks there? Susan got these
Speaker 3: their sharks everywhere, really, but I really don't think they're
Speaker 3: right there in Sea Isle at the beach. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yes, I listen, I grew up swimming in every beach
Speaker 2: in Cape Cod Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard. Never I used to
Speaker 2: swim out soars there. I know they weren't there when
Speaker 2: I was a child. I think they've imported.
Speaker 1: That's just what your daddy told you.
Speaker 2: They're probably hoping. I got a bite out of my leg.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, while you were sunny at the beach
Speaker 2: and while I was dying in bed. There has been
Speaker 2: a huge week in Bachelor news, so we're going to
Speaker 2: get right into it. First of all, let's start with
Speaker 2: our friend Teresa Ness. She admits that she held back
Speaker 2: on Golden Bachelor and what she would have done differently.
Speaker 2: She said, I would have been my more authentic self,
Speaker 2: and I'm saying to myself, I just I just want
Speaker 2: to throw this at you before you give me your opinion.
Speaker 2: So she was not her authentic self when all they
Speaker 2: tell you on this show is to be your authentic self.
Speaker 3: Am I right?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 2: She was not her authentic self and she got the guy.
Speaker 2: You and I were exactly our authentic selves and here
Speaker 2: we are basically single.
Speaker 3: Would you like to so what's your take on all this?
Speaker 1: She also says that she regrets nothing that she said
Speaker 1: or did.
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, you cannot regret it. But if you're not yourself,
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, Teresa's a very nice person. Gary's a
Speaker 2: very nice person. They're both great people. And you know
Speaker 2: Gary's happily.
Speaker 3: With Lonnie Norried. Yeah, he's very happy guy. But here's
Speaker 3: the thing.
Speaker 2: How does anyone expect to find your mister right on
Speaker 2: TV or in the garden or you know, at a swimming.
Speaker 3: Pool if you're not being authentic? I don't get it.
Speaker 1: I know, I think she was herself. She was just
Speaker 1: like after spending time with her after the show, yeah,
Speaker 1: like she regretted causing that thing with you, She regretted
Speaker 1: things that she said. And really I remember my statement
Speaker 1: or your nine said sort of a dime. I didn't
Speaker 1: mean to insult her. But when she said to me,
Speaker 1: did I offend you? I said, Teresa, you don't remember
Speaker 1: what you said to me. I really, honest to God,
Speaker 1: thought she was being herself and just didn't even think
Speaker 1: twice about what she was saying. I don't think she
Speaker 1: meant harm. Nonetheless, you said it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, when she told me that, that's so funny
Speaker 2: you said that because I remember when she said to me, Kathy,
Speaker 2: you're going home because Gary likes petite brunette. Do you
Speaker 2: remember I wanted to put down the fork and not
Speaker 2: eat for a month same day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was. But you know what, we're friends now.
Speaker 1: It's yes.
Speaker 3: I think I think it all happened the way it
Speaker 3: was supposed to happen, don't you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did. Everything happens for a reason or a season, right,
Speaker 1: People come into our lives for a reason.
Speaker 3: No, I just read a thing that said that's not true.
Speaker 3: I just read a thing that said that's not true.
Speaker 1: Well, I wouldn't believe everything you read, because think about
Speaker 1: your life. It's true. People show up for different reasons,
Speaker 1: and we learned something by it or we feel something
Speaker 1: from it, like that's.
Speaker 2: Well, I can't remember, I'm gonna look it up and
Speaker 2: I'll get back to what I read. But it said
Speaker 2: something about it's our reactions. It's not a season reason,
Speaker 2: it's it's what we learned from it.
Speaker 3: I don't know it was some esotericist. It was something esoteric.
Speaker 1: Do what Sometimes it's only a season. Let's talk about
Speaker 1: Courtney Robertson. She filed for divorce from her husband.
Speaker 3: Huberto Mberto Umberto.
Speaker 1: Umberto after six years, three kids. But what she said
Speaker 1: made me think, like she said that now you can't trust.
Speaker 1: Do you think he cheated? Is that the issue?
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I think I think the quote was
Speaker 2: after learning information that irreparably damaged the trust in our marriage,
Speaker 2: I made the difficult decision to file for divorce. And
Speaker 2: I think this season of her life, yeah, and I think,
Speaker 2: I mean, we could go a lot of places, but
Speaker 2: when let's not, let's not try to reinvent the wheel hair.
Speaker 3: When you talk.
Speaker 2: About damage to a marriage, it usually means infidelity on
Speaker 2: one of the other's part. And since she filed for
Speaker 2: divorce and I passed first grade math, I'm going with
Speaker 2: he cheated on her.
Speaker 1: I just feel bad because she found him out of bachelor.
Speaker 2: You know after why do you I don't care where
Speaker 2: she found him, Susan, Let's just focus on the fact
Speaker 2: she found a guy.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's very sad. And the children that there
Speaker 3: are three young kids.
Speaker 1: Yes, well I'm living it right now because my daughter
Speaker 1: is about to file for divorce.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know if you want
Speaker 3: to talk about that.
Speaker 1: Oh the heartache like you know that saying you're only
Speaker 1: as happy as.
Speaker 2: Your least happy child, right, Yeah, it just stays with you.
Speaker 1: And I talked to her in some days, some moments
Speaker 1: she sounds okay, and then.
Speaker 2: You know what it's it's you're You're a great mom.
Speaker 2: You're going to be there for and she's going to
Speaker 2: get through it. Because you know what, Susan, we all
Speaker 2: get through tough times. And that's not me being Pollyanna.
Speaker 2: That is you know, we are made of tough stuff,
Speaker 2: and your daughter is and she's going to get through this.
Speaker 1: You know what I worry about the most, my grandchildren.
Speaker 3: Of course, It's always about the kids, isn't it. It's
Speaker 3: that's why I just said about Courtney. They have three
Speaker 3: young children. So but you know what, Susan, and I've
Speaker 3: said this to you before.
Speaker 2: It's in my opinion, my parents were divorced and it
Speaker 2: was an ugly, ugly war of the roses divorce. I
Speaker 2: don't think it's ever good, Not that anyone cares about
Speaker 2: my opinion. It is never good to stay married for
Speaker 2: the children. That is a lousy We have.
Speaker 1: More children to save the marriage. That's not good either.
Speaker 3: God.
Speaker 2: Okay, our favorite, my favorite, Hannah Brown, who is just
Speaker 2: little perfection in a box to make, admits that she
Speaker 2: has a lot of fear about starting a family. She said,
Speaker 2: am I ready for this? I have a fear of commitment?
Speaker 2: She and yet she said, he's now dreaming of having children.
Speaker 2: So you know I'm right, don't I was?
Speaker 3: I was. You're gonna laugh when I say this.
Speaker 2: When I was little, and I mean young, I used
Speaker 2: to say that life wasn't fair because little boys had
Speaker 2: to grow up and go to war and little girls
Speaker 2: had to grow up and have children.
Speaker 3: And I'm gonna laugh, I swear to God.
Speaker 2: I used to say that because it to me, it
Speaker 2: was so scary, first of all, to have that thing
Speaker 2: come out from you know, like to have to deliver
Speaker 2: the baby, but also to be so responsible for a
Speaker 2: child's life. They're no longer responsible for just you. You
Speaker 2: have a husband and a child, or a partner and
Speaker 2: a child, And I get it, Hannah, it's scary.
Speaker 3: But I'm going to tell you, girlfriends.
Speaker 1: I think fear is bearing the child or.
Speaker 2: Just just what I was saying, raising a child, having
Speaker 2: that responsibility. But Hannah, I'm going to tell you, when
Speaker 2: you see that little munchkin and you put your arms
Speaker 2: run him or her or them. If you get twins,
Speaker 2: the love is going to explode in your heart and
Speaker 2: it's all going to be fine.
Speaker 3: And if it's not, you call me and I'll come.
Speaker 1: Baby said, she's going to be a great mommy. Are
Speaker 1: you kidding?
Speaker 3: I know, I know love those babies.
Speaker 1: All right, let's move along here. Guess what we're going
Speaker 1: to be talking about.
Speaker 3: Oh lord, I don't can't even imagine. O.
Speaker 1: I love this because I am different than most can
Speaker 1: X's truly be friends?
Speaker 3: Oh Susan, hold on?
Speaker 2: Wait you and okay, So, in fact, I've been thinking
Speaker 2: about this with you, and I'm going to go down
Speaker 2: a road with you that you're probably not gonna like.
Speaker 2: But I'm in a mood today because I've been in battle.
Speaker 1: Your consuming I might like it or might not.
Speaker 3: You may not. But I'm feisty because I haven't. You know,
Speaker 3: I haven't.
Speaker 2: No one's talked to me all weekend. I've been getting
Speaker 2: I'm going I love you. Okay, here's the thing. I
Speaker 2: think some exes can be friends. I think some exes
Speaker 2: are holding on to something hoping it comes back. I
Speaker 2: think some exit they're just afraid. They don't want any animosity.
Speaker 2: I don't know where you fit in on that, in
Speaker 2: that in that realm, but I'm going to But where
Speaker 2: do you fit in?
Speaker 1: Well, I would say honestly, staying friends is a sign
Speaker 1: of maturity.
Speaker 3: So let's well, wait a minute. Staying friends? Do you
Speaker 3: have coffee with your exes?
Speaker 2: Do you meet for lunch? Do you follow them on Instagram?
Speaker 2: Do you are you friends with them and go out
Speaker 2: with them on double dates?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: What does that mean?
Speaker 1: That?
Speaker 3: Hell, I don't know. I don't live your life.
Speaker 1: And friends and holiday time we reach out with a
Speaker 1: text message, WI should the other person a happy holiday?
Speaker 1: Mostly all of them?
Speaker 2: Okay, But that I would say, I wouldn't call that
Speaker 2: being friends with your ex. I don't think that's friend,
Speaker 2: it's friendly. That's what that is and that and that's fine.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't have a problem with that either.
Speaker 2: But I think that.
Speaker 3: Uh, I think so.
Speaker 2: I think some people, Susan, it depends who you know,
Speaker 2: who's the break ye and who's the break o'er, because
Speaker 2: I think sometimes people want that relationship back, they're unhappy
Speaker 2: with the way it terminated, and they're hoping to rebuild something.
Speaker 3: I think it runs the gamut. I can tell you for.
Speaker 2: Me, Uh, I A couple of guys I've dated, I
Speaker 2: remained friendly with for a period of time, but honestly,
Speaker 2: you know, we've all moved on and I'm sure they're
Speaker 2: having a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, and
Speaker 2: you know, but I don't really care.
Speaker 1: Also think it depends on how you broke up. Like
Speaker 1: one of the things I read about, could you genuinely
Speaker 1: stop being attracted to somebody that you want?
Speaker 3: Oh? Are you asking me that? No?
Speaker 1: I've read that, and I'm like, yeah, that happens all time.
Speaker 3: Wait, wait, that you're still attracted or not attracted?
Speaker 1: No, can you generally stop being attracted? Oh? Hell, yes,
Speaker 1: that you once love of course?
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, of course. But I just think this is
Speaker 3: it's this is like the mad rushing river.
Speaker 2: Where do you draw the line? When is it too
Speaker 2: far over the dam? I don't want uh the one ax.
Speaker 2: I'm still and you know this. I'm still friends a guy,
Speaker 2: David for ten months. I'm still friends with his daughter.
Speaker 2: We talk on the phone. She has a jewelry business.
Speaker 2: I've helped her, you know, with shows and stuff. She's
Speaker 2: a lovely person. I don't talk to her dad anymore.
Speaker 2: I don't wish him any ill. But I broke up
Speaker 2: with him. And you know, mozl, go live your life.
Speaker 2: What you wait a minute, But I do not want
Speaker 2: Here's what I'm saying. But if she said to me, Hey, Kathy,
Speaker 2: let's all get together for lunch, I'd rather scrape my
Speaker 2: nails on a chalkboard.
Speaker 1: I just don't see him and her, his daughter and him.
Speaker 3: Oh I love his daughter. I'm saying.
Speaker 2: It's like I I'd rather watch dust grow. I have
Speaker 2: no interest in seeing him. It's and I broke it off.
Speaker 2: It's like, go live your life. There's just it's why
Speaker 2: would I want to have lunch with him?
Speaker 3: There would be no no.
Speaker 1: But how about if you met somebody and your new
Speaker 1: partner said that he was best friends with his ex
Speaker 1: because best friends with Dicky my ex. We're very good friends.
Speaker 2: But that's so different. But I so that brings up
Speaker 2: another question. You guys have stayed friends for many reasons. One,
Speaker 2: I think Dicky's a very kind guy who helps you.
Speaker 2: I mean you guys who are out there. Susan is
Speaker 2: telling the truth. Dicky comes over, helps her with yardwork,
Speaker 2: the swimming pool. They work together now with her daughter
Speaker 2: going through this divorce. They're pulling in this boat together
Speaker 2: to you know, help their daughter. Like you guys are
Speaker 2: tight when it comes to your children. I think you
Speaker 2: guys have a very good relationship. But I think that's rare, Susan.
Speaker 1: I believe it is from hearing from most of the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, and do you follow somebody if you're following
Speaker 1: them after a breakup?
Speaker 2: Well, most of the men I date are on you know,
Speaker 2: they don't know how to use Instagram or god forbid TikTok.
Speaker 2: They just they may be on Facebook. And frankly, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't unfollow anybody. It takes too much effort and
Speaker 2: I don't care, and I don't curious doing well. I never,
Speaker 2: oh no, I never, I could see I think I lack.
Speaker 2: I think I'm as we know, I'm a very different person.
Speaker 2: If if if I've broken up with you or well
Speaker 2: i've only had one guy ever breakup with me. If
Speaker 2: I've broken up with you, I don't wish you any will.
Speaker 2: But I broke up with you because I didn't want
Speaker 2: to spend any more time with you. So why would
Speaker 2: I want to be your friend? Why would I want.
Speaker 3: To follow you on instant?
Speaker 2: It's like I just said again, I'd rather watch dusk grow.
Speaker 3: So you know, I don't know. Wait a minute, Wait a minute.
Speaker 3: So I don't think.
Speaker 2: I don't think that for me that it's a matter
Speaker 2: of you know, just time heal, because I'm healed the
Speaker 2: day I leave the relationship, I'm done.
Speaker 3: But for you, that's.
Speaker 1: Right the other way around. I didn't think lingering and
Speaker 1: hanging on. Let's just be friends with the hopes that
Speaker 1: you're going to be attracted again.
Speaker 2: So the guy, and you know, we're not going to
Speaker 2: use this name, but you know, the guy that I'm
Speaker 2: friends with, who I dated, who didn't want to date me.
Speaker 2: I was a very different person when we dated and
Speaker 2: wasn't ready to date. He's a great guy. We're really
Speaker 2: good friends. But I remember I couldn't talk to him
Speaker 2: for I don't know, a couple of months, and then
Speaker 2: one day I reached out and I said I missed
Speaker 2: talking with him, and you know, we've been friends ever since.
Speaker 3: But I don't.
Speaker 2: I could never imagine. And I know you keep saying
Speaker 2: I should date him. I could never imagine going back
Speaker 2: and dating him. Now, could you date.
Speaker 1: It at that point? How about should your partner's X
Speaker 1: ever be a part of your social circle? Would you
Speaker 1: be comfortable with that?
Speaker 2: I can't imagine, I said, I can't imagine. First of all,
Speaker 2: my social circles pretty small. Uh yeah, some of the guys, yeah,
Speaker 2: but I don't find them. I mean, I just don't.
Speaker 2: I know, I'm gonna take heat again. It's it's not
Speaker 2: that I'm a mean person. It's just it's it's like, okay.
Speaker 3: You're gonna laugh. This week just came to my mind.
Speaker 2: You buy this really beautiful dress, Susan, and you wear it,
Speaker 2: and then you know what, you drop it off at
Speaker 2: the resale shop because you've worn it twice? Do you
Speaker 2: do you really want to have an air tag on
Speaker 2: that dress and see who's wearing it next and wear
Speaker 2: that It's just that's how I feel about men, like
Speaker 2: go live your life, go dance with whoever, Go follow
Speaker 2: your moon, go follow your heart.
Speaker 3: But I don't care.
Speaker 2: I don't want any harm to come to an ex.
Speaker 2: Hear me, I don't want any harm. But in terms
Speaker 2: of you know, my life is full, Your life is full.
Speaker 2: I only have so much space in this brain for men, children, grandchildren,
Speaker 2: and so when I'm done, I'm done.
Speaker 1: No, no, I feel scotty. As you know. I just
Speaker 1: posted a person's place I stopped at a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks back. They were having this big annual summer party.
Speaker 1: They have it every year, and it's so nice to
Speaker 1: see all the people there. And my ex was there,
Speaker 1: my ex boyfriend that I dated for about a year
Speaker 1: or so, and I was totally fine. How was he weird?
Speaker 1: At first? I go, what is your problem? Aren't you
Speaker 1: over this yet? Come on? You know, because I did
Speaker 1: the breaking up. Of course, of course he needs me
Speaker 1: to go somewhere with get over it.
Speaker 2: So see that's the problem you. By the way, Bator Nation,
Speaker 2: this is the first time you hear of this little outing.
Speaker 2: And you can be sure when this podcast is over,
Speaker 2: I'll be calling Susan to get all the details and
Speaker 2: I will report back.
Speaker 3: No, you did not tell me about this. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I I I think that it really does depend but
Speaker 2: and I think at our age maybe it's different. We
Speaker 2: can be, you know, the we don't have those wild,
Speaker 2: crazy hormones and anger that we had when we were younger.
Speaker 1: And maybe weakly.
Speaker 3: Oh, Susan, maybe what are you're going to give them up?
Speaker 1: I just heard from another gentleman that I dated for
Speaker 1: a very short time, but nice, nice guy just wasn't
Speaker 1: my guy. And he just reached out to me recently.
Speaker 1: His daughter's getting married and he wants me to do
Speaker 1: the wedding. And I'm like, oh my god, John, I'm
Speaker 1: so happy to hear from you. I'd love to blah
Speaker 1: blah blah, like it's nice to stay.
Speaker 2: I think if you want to. I don't think there's
Speaker 2: a right or wrong. It's what I'm saying, if you
Speaker 2: want to be friends with ther exes. A guy that
Speaker 2: I broke up with recently, I didn't tell you this either,
Speaker 2: sooner you're getting this firsthand now too. A guy that
Speaker 2: I broke up with, super nice guy, just again not
Speaker 2: my guy. We only had I don't know, three or
Speaker 2: four or five dates, maybe five, and he sent me
Speaker 2: a picture of his new girlfriend.
Speaker 3: He said, I'm so happy.
Speaker 2: You need to meet her, and I said wait he said,
Speaker 2: I said, oh, whatever your name is, congratulations And I
Speaker 2: am genuinely happy for him. And I thought, I said, oh,
Speaker 2: that'd be lovely someday. It's never happening. Number One, I
Speaker 2: would never do that to another woman because I don't
Speaker 2: know what he told about me, but I'm here to
Speaker 2: tell you he was not happy when I broke up,
Speaker 2: So you know, no, I don't do that.
Speaker 3: I don't do that. I don't do that to other woman.
Speaker 3: Here I go, we're moving on.
Speaker 1: Would he send you a picture of his new girlfriend
Speaker 1: after you broke up with him, just to be like, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: I guess she's an attractive woman. But again, I'm weird. Good
Speaker 2: for them.
Speaker 3: I don't know, like you didn't want me, but I
Speaker 3: found this hot woman. Great. I'm happy for him. That's
Speaker 3: the whole thing.
Speaker 2: It's like, mazzlv, I'm so happy you found your woman.
Speaker 2: May may you live a long and prosperous life together
Speaker 2: just without me.
Speaker 1: We are like this is a true statement or not?
Speaker 1: Is friendship? After a breakup more common than it used
Speaker 1: to be because every time back growing up, if people
Speaker 1: got a divorce, they were taboo like, they were worried
Speaker 1: when they had to do something that the child was
Speaker 1: graduating to both be in the same room at the
Speaker 1: same time. I know there's still people out there like this. However,
Speaker 1: I think it's not as bad. I think because I'm
Speaker 1: not as bad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think people try. I think it will listen.
Speaker 2: When my parents got divorced, I was the only kid
Speaker 2: in my school, literally in my grade. I think divorce
Speaker 2: now is more normalized people. You know, they get to
Speaker 2: know the new girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, whatever. My thing
Speaker 2: always is when it comes to kids, you have to
Speaker 2: think about the kids and what will work best for them.
Speaker 2: And so for that reason, exes, I don't care what
Speaker 2: you do with your exes, but please pay mine to
Speaker 2: your children, because they're the ones that pay the price
Speaker 2: for your divorce.
Speaker 1: And you can't just skip and straight to friendship right
Speaker 1: after a breakup. You need some time to heal well.
Speaker 1: Some do, some do, some do.
Speaker 3: But you know we're going I want to skip. We're done,
Speaker 3: We're done with this conversation. I don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: People, especially in the younger crowd, because there's big crowds
Speaker 1: of friends and this one and this one we're dating.
Speaker 1: Well they're not dating anymore, but they're all still in
Speaker 1: the same group of friends. I think that's be okay
Speaker 1: with that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I have again, I think that is different
Speaker 2: a young couple dating versus someone who was married. And
Speaker 2: you know, now we're at the couple's dinner that meets
Speaker 2: once a month, and you know, Johnny's bringing his new
Speaker 2: wife Louise, and Louis. I mean, no, then I think
Speaker 2: it's a bit much. So I think it depends on circumstances.
Speaker 2: But I want to get into our advice.
Speaker 3: I want to get last one.
Speaker 1: Have you ever reconnected with an X years later?
Speaker 2: Well, I again, I was married, So no, the guy
Speaker 2: with the guy Wait, the guy, I can the guy
Speaker 2: he doesn't listen to this podcast, but I'm going to
Speaker 2: tell me should the guy that I loved in high
Speaker 2: school and you know, he had my heart in just
Speaker 2: forever in a day until I met my husband.
Speaker 3: He lives on Cape Cott.
Speaker 2: He's a journalist and and he writes and I follow
Speaker 2: his writings and stuff. And you know, we talked a little.
Speaker 2: I don't remember how we reached out. He'd written an article.
Speaker 2: He's a very, very smart guy and a very he's
Speaker 2: a published author.
Speaker 3: He's done a lot of cool stuff in his life.
Speaker 3: And he wrote an article and and somebody sent it
Speaker 3: to me, and I just wrote him and said, what
Speaker 3: a great article. And I don't remember what it was about,
Speaker 3: but it really was well written. And we talked just
Speaker 3: a couple of times.
Speaker 2: He's he's with a woman, he's happy, looked at her.
Speaker 1: I don't need the backstory.
Speaker 3: Oh, I would love to see if you.
Speaker 1: Read something it was well written by him and you
Speaker 1: reached out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or I guess I did well not and not
Speaker 2: do him directly, just through the publication and then he
Speaker 2: reached back out to me anyway, But you know what, yeah, whatever,
Speaker 2: I mean again, I don't have it.
Speaker 3: It is nice.
Speaker 2: He was a great he is and was a great guy.
Speaker 2: Can we please move on to our eye.
Speaker 1: The next podcast, we're going to get her some boyfriend
Speaker 1: so she has something to talk about over here?
Speaker 3: Hey, could you know what could we do?
Speaker 2: I'm working on it, Susan, as you know, I'm working
Speaker 2: on it as we speak. People, as we speak, I'm
Speaker 2: working on it. We answer questions every week, as y'all
Speaker 2: know from our listeners, and we give our expert advice.
Speaker 2: So Susan take off the first one. I can hardly wait.
Speaker 1: For these, certainly do. Okay, who is this from? Let
Speaker 1: me see this? Ah from Melissa and guess where she's from? Kathy, Philadelphia?
Speaker 3: Oh your girl? All right? My home?
Speaker 1: Dan? Okay. I love my boyfriend, but every disagreement somehow
Speaker 1: ends up with him saying, well, my ex never had
Speaker 1: a problem with that. He says, he's just giving me context.
Speaker 1: But hearing about his ex during every argument makes me
Speaker 1: feel like I'm constantly being compared. You know what's the
Speaker 1: best way to tell him? Enough is enough? Well, first
Speaker 1: of all, if anybody ever compare me to his ex, well,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm student going to be your ex too,
Speaker 1: because you don't get to say that.
Speaker 2: Well, it's funny you said, because what I would have
Speaker 2: said to him when she said.
Speaker 1: He's just giving me contact.
Speaker 2: No, well my ex, well my ex and never had
Speaker 2: a problem with that. I would say, you know what,
Speaker 2: I think you needed to go back with your ex,
Speaker 2: because now we have a problem, like I just I mean,
Speaker 2: And then I wonder why I'm single.
Speaker 3: I just would not put up with that, would you?
Speaker 1: I am not your ex? Hello? Meet me, I'm Susan,
Speaker 1: and this I don't like?
Speaker 3: You know, I wait, Susan. Why are women? I just
Speaker 3: had this conversation with another woman the other day.
Speaker 2: Why are women? This is getting off course a little bit,
Speaker 2: but work with me. Why are women so afraid to
Speaker 2: say what they want, what they need, whether it's in
Speaker 2: the bedroom or the barroom. Why are women so afraid?
Speaker 2: You and I would have no problem saying I'm not
Speaker 2: your ex and if you want me to be your ex,
Speaker 2: keep this up right.
Speaker 3: That's why we would see.
Speaker 1: It that I could say that statement now. But when
Speaker 1: I'm in it and it's early and these things are happening,
Speaker 1: if I was really really crushing on this person bed,
Speaker 1: I don't know that I would say that right away.
Speaker 1: I'd come home and call you and say, you're not
Speaker 1: going to believe this. But to say it straight to
Speaker 1: him now and I'm older, I think I could in
Speaker 1: a very diplomatic, nice way. Don't ever say that again, asshole.
Speaker 2: I mean, oh, that's very diplomatic. Season love, That's about it.
Speaker 2: Just making sure that's right out of cell side Philly there.
Speaker 3: Jeez. Wait, I just want to say.
Speaker 2: I just want to say when it's very simple, Melissa,
Speaker 2: when you ask, what is the best way to tell
Speaker 2: me enough is enough? Melissa, listen to me right into
Speaker 2: the camera. I am telling you enough is enough. There
Speaker 2: you go, Justina.
Speaker 1: That's what we would call a red flag. And he's
Speaker 1: gonna constantly do this and I are going to resent
Speaker 1: him for it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So enough for that. Okay.
Speaker 1: If he really loves you, he'll stop.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And if he doesn't, there's more fish in the sea.
Speaker 2: We've had this conversation for too Okay. The next question
Speaker 2: is from Amanda, and she's from Nashville. You know how
Speaker 2: I said that Nashville like Louisville. Okay, move on, I'm
Speaker 2: naming cities, all right. My husband and I have been
Speaker 2: married for nine Wait. I just want to say, this
Speaker 2: is what happens when I'm in bed for two days.
Speaker 3: My god, it's like I can't get talk.
Speaker 2: There we go, Amanda says, my husband and I have
Speaker 2: been married for nine years, and lately I feel like
Speaker 2: we've become really good business partners instead of romantic partners.
Speaker 2: Here we go, bedroom boardroom, Susan, we talk about bills,
Speaker 2: work and the kids, but we rarely talk about us anymore.
Speaker 2: We love each other, but the romance feels like it's disappeared.
Speaker 2: Is this just a normal season of marriage or is
Speaker 2: it something we should be actively trying to fix before
Speaker 2: it gets worse. I'm going to say, Amanda, you're right
Speaker 2: on both counts. There are normal seasons of marriage when
Speaker 2: kids in Little league and bake sales and Girl Scouts
Speaker 2: and Brownies and Boy Scouts and all that stuff takes precedence.
Speaker 2: But so yes, there are some of those seasons.
Speaker 3: But you have to actively work together to build back
Speaker 3: up the romance and have date nights and do all
Speaker 3: those things. It's both both are true.
Speaker 1: What do you think is very very true? And I
Speaker 1: think women notice it a lot more than men. Men.
Speaker 1: It just goes by their head, but you need to
Speaker 1: spice it up a little bit.
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, what goes by their head?
Speaker 1: We're perfect that everything else, what happens to the romance, no.
Speaker 3: Air.
Speaker 1: I think she needs to go out and buy a
Speaker 1: cute little outfit and get somebody to watch the kids,
Speaker 1: and you know, spice it up, shock them a little bit.
Speaker 1: That's very playful. Yeah, I mean they recommend things like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I does get stale, and you're great at working
Speaker 1: together and you're still in love with each other, as
Speaker 1: you said, then I think this would be fun and
Speaker 1: it would spark it back up.
Speaker 3: And I do think man, you said men don't care.
Speaker 3: I think men don't care.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they don't even notice. I think women's intuition is
Speaker 1: so spot on. As you know, we feel these things first,
Speaker 1: we notice them first. We want to talk about it first.
Speaker 3: So tell me.
Speaker 2: In the guys several of the guys I've dated, when
Speaker 2: I ask them what happened in their marriages, I would
Speaker 2: say seventy five percent of them say there was no
Speaker 2: more intimacy and they just so.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think men do notice it. I think they
Speaker 3: either they get they get divorced.
Speaker 1: Fags, I mean, and that comes a whole nother conversation.
Speaker 1: Menopause destroys women without help. You might not want it.
Speaker 1: I get it. I get it. But Amanda, it sounds
Speaker 1: like you two love each other a lot just to
Speaker 1: do something sporadic. You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Susan's right to do something fun and playful, but
Speaker 2: understand it's not going to be when you've got a kid.
Speaker 2: Throwing up in the bed next year, it's not going
Speaker 2: to be a passionate night. Okay, it's a little bit
Speaker 2: of both, But wish you could look and understand that
Speaker 2: loving each other and talking it through.
Speaker 3: Don't just sweep it under the rug. Talk about it
Speaker 3: with him.
Speaker 2: Ask you know, there's nothing wrong with talking about fantasies,
Speaker 2: doing some like Susan said something just that would blow
Speaker 2: his mind and bring back a little romance.
Speaker 1: I think that Kathy said it is a season of marriage.
Speaker 1: We do go through dry spells if you will.
Speaker 3: And when you're over menopause, it's a longer. That's something different.
Speaker 1: You know. Buy a little outfit and make a reservation
Speaker 1: like he's gonna be like, whoa, what's this? Sha, Go
Speaker 1: for it, you deserve.
Speaker 3: It, and then Susan can come and do a recommitment ceremony.
Speaker 3: Ye all right.
Speaker 2: We love answering your questions. Clearly, we always have an opinion.
Speaker 2: You can submit all of your questions, burning or otherwise
Speaker 2: to us.
Speaker 3: It's very easy.
Speaker 2: All you have to do is go to Bachelor Nation
Speaker 2: dot com slash Golden Hour, come back each week. We
Speaker 2: love answering your questions. You know, we also want to
Speaker 2: hear what's going on, Like when we've answered your question
Speaker 2: right back in and say, hey, here's what happened or
Speaker 2: here's what didn't I yeah, let us know, all right?
Speaker 1: Moving on, Okay, Kathy, here comes your favorite part about
Speaker 1: the gals googling it and our slang Words of the week,
Speaker 1: where we break down the slang words that people are
Speaker 1: using in dating and pop culture. Now, I have to
Speaker 1: admit he has recognized quite a few of these words.
Speaker 1: I don't know about today. Let's see.
Speaker 3: I mean this one the first one. Let her or
Speaker 3: him cook.
Speaker 2: It means let her keep going, trust the process, don't
Speaker 2: interrupt because she's onto something.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: It's often used when someone is making a point, telling
Speaker 2: the story, flirting, plotting, or doing something that looks questionable
Speaker 2: at first but might pay off. And to me, that
Speaker 2: makes perfect sense. Let it cook, let it go.
Speaker 3: Let it slide, let it were making a meal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, Susan's like, cook, what are we cooking here?
Speaker 2: So here's an example. Somebody predicts who's getting the final
Speaker 2: rowse after episode one. Okay, let her cook, meaning let's
Speaker 2: see where it goes.
Speaker 3: Is she gonna get it?
Speaker 2: Or she has a color coded spreadsheet ranking all her
Speaker 2: hinge matches. Yes, let her cover like, let it go,
Speaker 2: let it run, Let's see where this goes. Okay, she
Speaker 2: puts together an outfit that looks completely random, then it
Speaker 2: somehow looks incredible. Let her cook like it might pay
Speaker 2: off for wearing this. You know, it's just like it's
Speaker 2: let's see where this thing goes.
Speaker 3: That's that's how I would how I would if I
Speaker 3: had to summarize it. Let's see where this thing goes.
Speaker 1: I try to use them too, so I don't forget them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so my day tomorrow night, we're gonna let them cook,
Speaker 2: or I'm gonna cook.
Speaker 3: Somebody's gonna cook.
Speaker 1: Okay. The next one is girl math, a tongue in
Speaker 1: cheek internet trend where people jokingly justify spending money this
Speaker 1: instantly illogical logic that they they put my name next
Speaker 1: to this on purpose. It means it's men as humor,
Speaker 1: not actual financial advice.
Speaker 2: I've heard this and say these things, and so this
Speaker 2: is perfect, isn't for you?
Speaker 1: Example? If I paid with cash it was basically free,
Speaker 1: that means you still don't know. Returning a one hundred
Speaker 1: and twenty dollars dress means I made one hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty dollars.
Speaker 3: I've heard you say those things. Well keep it.
Speaker 1: I forgot I ordered it. It's a surprise gift coming
Speaker 1: from my past self. Well that you've heard me say, yes,
Speaker 1: anything under ten dollars doesn't count.
Speaker 3: I love girl math. Yeah, I mean Susan. I'm We're
Speaker 3: just going to call Susan girl math from now on.
Speaker 1: It's like Kathy one Kathy's biggest things. When I say,
Speaker 1: but I don't have to pay for that airline take it.
Speaker 1: I'm using my mile.
Speaker 3: Well, you spent money to get those miles.
Speaker 1: You're paying for the ticket. I said, no, I'm not
Speaker 1: reaching in my pocket and paying for the.
Speaker 2: South And so, Susan, that is a perfect example of
Speaker 2: girl math. You see, you had to spend one hundred
Speaker 2: dollars on that dress, You had to spend five hundred
Speaker 2: dollars on that trip to the beach.
Speaker 3: So now you have six hundred and twenty dollars. Said,
Speaker 3: you've spent out of your wallet and now you got.
Speaker 1: Six and twenty miles.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you did buy those smiles. It is not free.
Speaker 3: This was girl mouth was made for you, Susan. I
Speaker 3: can't even let.
Speaker 1: It I'm understanding that I was going to spend that
Speaker 1: six hundred regardless my life. You spend money, then you
Speaker 1: get a free airline ticket when you have enough miles,
Speaker 1: but or purposely go out and pay for the ticket.
Speaker 1: I know where the miles came from. I know I
Speaker 1: had to spend then.
Speaker 3: No, here's what's Here's Susan's girl mauth, girl mouth. Here's
Speaker 3: Susan's girl mouth, Kathy, I got two for one. I
Speaker 3: spent six hundred and twenty dollars on a pair of
Speaker 3: shoes in and I got a free airline ticket. We
Speaker 3: gotta go. Thanks for joining us on Bachelor Golden Hour.
Speaker 3: Absolutely we have a ball.
Speaker 1: Make sure to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your podcast, and.
Speaker 2: You can follow Golden Hour on social media at Bachelor
Speaker 2: Happy Hour and at Bachelor Nation. Until next week, do
Speaker 2: some girl math and have a great week.
Speaker 1: Have a great time.