WEBVTT - Kathy & Susan Break Down Dealing with Exes | Golden Hour

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back, and everybody the Golden Hour, Susan.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm Kathy, and we're so excited to be back.

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<v Speaker 2>But I got to tell you, Susan, you always look fabulous.

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<v Speaker 2>This is one of these days where I am so

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<v Speaker 2>glad that there's only going to be like a video

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<v Speaker 2>snippet of me, because you know this. I was in

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<v Speaker 2>bed so sick all weekend fever.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you look pretty damn good for being sick in

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<v Speaker 1>bed all weekend.

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<v Speaker 2>I literally got up today and washed my hair and

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<v Speaker 2>took a shower. But I have to tell you I panicked,

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<v Speaker 2>and you you who were at your friend's house at

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<v Speaker 2>the beach all weekend. I needed my friend because here's

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<v Speaker 2>what happened, Susan. I panicked because I started running a

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<v Speaker 2>fever and I thought, oh my god, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>end up back in.

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<v Speaker 3>The hospital with them. I couldn't breathe.

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<v Speaker 2>I had the pulsometer and a roxometer and whatever it's called,

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<v Speaker 2>and my oxygen level was I mean, it was like

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<v Speaker 2>living a nightmare all over again. But I'm better today,

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<v Speaker 2>and well.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry to hear that, but I have to

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<v Speaker 1>share your beach. But was in Sea Isle City there

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<v Speaker 1>were six of us. We had so much fun and

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<v Speaker 1>we did nothing. That was the best part. There was

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<v Speaker 1>no humidity, an ocean breeze, I mean the rough the

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<v Speaker 1>waves were rough. But other than that, can you say perfect?

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<v Speaker 3>Wait? Were there are there sharks there? Susan got these

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<v Speaker 3>their sharks everywhere, really, but I really don't think they're

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<v Speaker 3>right there in Sea Isle at the beach. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I listen, I grew up swimming in every beach

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<v Speaker 2>in Cape Cod Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard. Never I used to

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<v Speaker 2>swim out soars there. I know they weren't there when

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<v Speaker 2>I was a child. I think they've imported.

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<v Speaker 1>That's just what your daddy told you.

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<v Speaker 2>They're probably hoping. I got a bite out of my leg.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, Well, while you were sunny at the beach

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<v Speaker 2>and while I was dying in bed. There has been

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<v Speaker 2>a huge week in Bachelor news, so we're going to

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<v Speaker 2>get right into it. First of all, let's start with

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<v Speaker 2>our friend Teresa Ness. She admits that she held back

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<v Speaker 2>on Golden Bachelor and what she would have done differently.

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<v Speaker 2>She said, I would have been my more authentic self,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm saying to myself, I just I just want

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<v Speaker 2>to throw this at you before you give me your opinion.

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<v Speaker 2>So she was not her authentic self when all they

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<v Speaker 2>tell you on this show is to be your authentic self.

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<v Speaker 3>Am I right?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay?

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<v Speaker 2>She was not her authentic self and she got the guy.

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<v Speaker 2>You and I were exactly our authentic selves and here

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<v Speaker 2>we are basically single.

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<v Speaker 3>Would you like to so what's your take on all this?

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<v Speaker 1>She also says that she regrets nothing that she said

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<v Speaker 1>or did.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, Okay, you cannot regret it. But if you're not yourself,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, listen, Teresa's a very nice person. Gary's a

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<v Speaker 2>very nice person. They're both great people. And you know

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<v Speaker 2>Gary's happily.

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<v Speaker 3>With Lonnie Norried. Yeah, he's very happy guy. But here's

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<v Speaker 3>the thing.

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<v Speaker 2>How does anyone expect to find your mister right on

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<v Speaker 2>TV or in the garden or you know, at a swimming.

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<v Speaker 3>Pool if you're not being authentic? I don't get it.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, I think she was herself. She was just

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<v Speaker 1>like after spending time with her after the show, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>like she regretted causing that thing with you, She regretted

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<v Speaker 1>things that she said. And really I remember my statement

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<v Speaker 1>or your nine said sort of a dime. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>mean to insult her. But when she said to me,

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<v Speaker 1>did I offend you? I said, Teresa, you don't remember

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<v Speaker 1>what you said to me. I really, honest to God,

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<v Speaker 1>thought she was being herself and just didn't even think

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<v Speaker 1>twice about what she was saying. I don't think she

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<v Speaker 1>meant harm. Nonetheless, you said it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well, when she told me that, that's so funny

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<v Speaker 2>you said that because I remember when she said to me, Kathy,

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<v Speaker 2>you're going home because Gary likes petite brunette. Do you

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<v Speaker 2>remember I wanted to put down the fork and not

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<v Speaker 2>eat for a month same day.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I was. But you know what, we're friends now.

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<v Speaker 1>It's yes.

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<v Speaker 3>I think I think it all happened the way it

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<v Speaker 3>was supposed to happen, don't you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I did. Everything happens for a reason or a season, right,

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<v Speaker 1>People come into our lives for a reason.

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<v Speaker 3>No, I just read a thing that said that's not true.

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<v Speaker 3>I just read a thing that said that's not true.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I wouldn't believe everything you read, because think about

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<v Speaker 1>your life. It's true. People show up for different reasons,

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<v Speaker 1>and we learned something by it or we feel something

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<v Speaker 1>from it, like that's.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I can't remember, I'm gonna look it up and

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<v Speaker 2>I'll get back to what I read. But it said

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<v Speaker 2>something about it's our reactions. It's not a season reason,

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<v Speaker 2>it's it's what we learned from it.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know it was some esotericist. It was something esoteric.

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<v Speaker 1>Do what Sometimes it's only a season. Let's talk about

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<v Speaker 1>Courtney Robertson. She filed for divorce from her husband.

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<v Speaker 3>Huberto Mberto Umberto.

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<v Speaker 1>Umberto after six years, three kids. But what she said

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<v Speaker 1>made me think, like she said that now you can't trust.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think he cheated? Is that the issue?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, yeah, I think I think the quote was

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<v Speaker 2>after learning information that irreparably damaged the trust in our marriage,

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<v Speaker 2>I made the difficult decision to file for divorce. And

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<v Speaker 2>I think this season of her life, yeah, and I think,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, we could go a lot of places, but

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<v Speaker 2>when let's not, let's not try to reinvent the wheel hair.

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<v Speaker 3>When you talk.

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<v Speaker 2>About damage to a marriage, it usually means infidelity on

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<v Speaker 2>one of the other's part. And since she filed for

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<v Speaker 2>divorce and I passed first grade math, I'm going with

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<v Speaker 2>he cheated on her.

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<v Speaker 1>I just feel bad because she found him out of bachelor.

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<v Speaker 2>You know after why do you I don't care where

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<v Speaker 2>she found him, Susan, Let's just focus on the fact

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<v Speaker 2>she found a guy.

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<v Speaker 3>But yeah, it's very sad. And the children that there

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<v Speaker 3>are three young kids.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, well I'm living it right now because my daughter

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<v Speaker 1>is about to file for divorce.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know if you want

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<v Speaker 3>to talk about that.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh the heartache like you know that saying you're only

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<v Speaker 1>as happy as.

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<v Speaker 2>Your least happy child, right, Yeah, it just stays with you.

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<v Speaker 1>And I talked to her in some days, some moments

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<v Speaker 1>she sounds okay, and then.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what it's it's you're You're a great mom.

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<v Speaker 2>You're going to be there for and she's going to

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<v Speaker 2>get through it. Because you know what, Susan, we all

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<v Speaker 2>get through tough times. And that's not me being Pollyanna.

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<v Speaker 2>That is you know, we are made of tough stuff,

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<v Speaker 2>and your daughter is and she's going to get through this.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what I worry about the most, my grandchildren.

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<v Speaker 3>Of course, It's always about the kids, isn't it. It's

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<v Speaker 3>that's why I just said about Courtney. They have three

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<v Speaker 3>young children. So but you know what, Susan, and I've

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<v Speaker 3>said this to you before.

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<v Speaker 2>It's in my opinion, my parents were divorced and it

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<v Speaker 2>was an ugly, ugly war of the roses divorce. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't think it's ever good, Not that anyone cares about

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<v Speaker 2>my opinion. It is never good to stay married for

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<v Speaker 2>the children. That is a lousy We have.

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<v Speaker 1>More children to save the marriage. That's not good either.

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<v Speaker 3>God.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, our favorite, my favorite, Hannah Brown, who is just

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<v Speaker 2>little perfection in a box to make, admits that she

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<v Speaker 2>has a lot of fear about starting a family. She said,

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<v Speaker 2>am I ready for this? I have a fear of commitment?

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<v Speaker 2>She and yet she said, he's now dreaming of having children.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know I'm right, don't I was?

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<v Speaker 3>I was. You're gonna laugh when I say this.

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<v Speaker 2>When I was little, and I mean young, I used

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<v Speaker 2>to say that life wasn't fair because little boys had

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<v Speaker 2>to grow up and go to war and little girls

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<v Speaker 2>had to grow up and have children.

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<v Speaker 3>And I'm gonna laugh, I swear to God.

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<v Speaker 2>I used to say that because it to me, it

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<v Speaker 2>was so scary, first of all, to have that thing

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<v Speaker 2>come out from you know, like to have to deliver

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<v Speaker 2>the baby, but also to be so responsible for a

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<v Speaker 2>child's life. They're no longer responsible for just you. You

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<v Speaker 2>have a husband and a child, or a partner and

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<v Speaker 2>a child, And I get it, Hannah, it's scary.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'm going to tell you, girlfriends.

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<v Speaker 1>I think fear is bearing the child or.

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<v Speaker 2>Just just what I was saying, raising a child, having

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<v Speaker 2>that responsibility. But Hannah, I'm going to tell you, when

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<v Speaker 2>you see that little munchkin and you put your arms

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<v Speaker 2>run him or her or them. If you get twins,

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<v Speaker 2>the love is going to explode in your heart and

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<v Speaker 2>it's all going to be fine.

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<v Speaker 3>And if it's not, you call me and I'll come.

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<v Speaker 1>Baby said, she's going to be a great mommy. Are

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<v Speaker 1>you kidding?

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<v Speaker 3>I know, I know love those babies.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, let's move along here. Guess what we're going

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<v Speaker 1>to be talking about.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh lord, I don't can't even imagine. O.

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<v Speaker 1>I love this because I am different than most can

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<v Speaker 1>X's truly be friends?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh Susan, hold on?

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<v Speaker 2>Wait you and okay, So, in fact, I've been thinking

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<v Speaker 2>about this with you, and I'm going to go down

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<v Speaker 2>a road with you that you're probably not gonna like.

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<v Speaker 2>But I'm in a mood today because I've been in battle.

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<v Speaker 1>Your consuming I might like it or might not.

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<v Speaker 3>You may not. But I'm feisty because I haven't. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>I haven't.

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<v Speaker 2>No one's talked to me all weekend. I've been getting

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going I love you. Okay, here's the thing. I

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<v Speaker 2>think some exes can be friends. I think some exes

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<v Speaker 2>are holding on to something hoping it comes back. I

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<v Speaker 2>think some exit they're just afraid. They don't want any animosity.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know where you fit in on that, in

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<v Speaker 2>that in that realm, but I'm going to But where

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<v Speaker 2>do you fit in?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I would say honestly, staying friends is a sign

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<v Speaker 1>of maturity.

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<v Speaker 3>So let's well, wait a minute. Staying friends? Do you

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<v Speaker 3>have coffee with your exes?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you meet for lunch? Do you follow them on Instagram?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you are you friends with them and go out

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<v Speaker 2>with them on double dates?

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<v Speaker 1>Like?

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<v Speaker 3>What does that mean?

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<v Speaker 1>That?

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<v Speaker 3>Hell, I don't know. I don't live your life.

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<v Speaker 1>And friends and holiday time we reach out with a

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<v Speaker 1>text message, WI should the other person a happy holiday?

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<v Speaker 1>Mostly all of them?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, But that I would say, I wouldn't call that

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<v Speaker 2>being friends with your ex. I don't think that's friend,

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<v Speaker 2>it's friendly. That's what that is and that and that's fine.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I don't have a problem with that either.

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<v Speaker 2>But I think that.

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<v Speaker 3>Uh, I think so.

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<v Speaker 2>I think some people, Susan, it depends who you know,

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<v Speaker 2>who's the break ye and who's the break o'er, because

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<v Speaker 2>I think sometimes people want that relationship back, they're unhappy

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<v Speaker 2>with the way it terminated, and they're hoping to rebuild something.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it runs the gamut. I can tell you for.

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<v Speaker 2>Me, Uh, I A couple of guys I've dated, I

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<v Speaker 2>remained friendly with for a period of time, but honestly,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, we've all moved on and I'm sure they're

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<v Speaker 2>having a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, and

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<v Speaker 2>you know, but I don't really care.

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<v Speaker 1>Also think it depends on how you broke up. Like

0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:54.359
<v Speaker 1>one of the things I read about, could you genuinely

0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.400
<v Speaker 1>stop being attracted to somebody that you want?

0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:00.240
<v Speaker 3>Oh? Are you asking me that? No?

0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:04.280
<v Speaker 1>I've read that, and I'm like, yeah, that happens all time.

0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:06.920
<v Speaker 3>Wait, wait, that you're still attracted or not attracted?

0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:11.920
<v Speaker 1>No, can you generally stop being attracted? Oh? Hell, yes,

0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:13.960
<v Speaker 1>that you once love of course?

0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:18.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, no, of course. But I just think this is

0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:22.000
<v Speaker 3>it's this is like the mad rushing river.

0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:24.400
<v Speaker 2>Where do you draw the line? When is it too

0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:29.800
<v Speaker 2>far over the dam? I don't want uh the one ax.

0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:32.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm still and you know this. I'm still friends a guy,

0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:34.880
<v Speaker 2>David for ten months. I'm still friends with his daughter.

0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:39.040
<v Speaker 2>We talk on the phone. She has a jewelry business.

0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:41.880
<v Speaker 2>I've helped her, you know, with shows and stuff. She's

0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:44.840
<v Speaker 2>a lovely person. I don't talk to her dad anymore.

0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:47.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't wish him any ill. But I broke up

0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:49.640
<v Speaker 2>with him. And you know, mozl, go live your life.

0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:53.000
<v Speaker 2>What you wait a minute, But I do not want

0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:56.720
<v Speaker 2>Here's what I'm saying. But if she said to me, Hey, Kathy,

0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:00.800
<v Speaker 2>let's all get together for lunch, I'd rather scrape my

0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:02.000
<v Speaker 2>nails on a chalkboard.

0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:05.679
<v Speaker 1>I just don't see him and her, his daughter and him.

0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:07.559
<v Speaker 3>Oh I love his daughter. I'm saying.

0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:09.960
<v Speaker 2>It's like I I'd rather watch dust grow. I have

0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.800
<v Speaker 2>no interest in seeing him. It's and I broke it off.

0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:18.000
<v Speaker 2>It's like, go live your life. There's just it's why

0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:19.160
<v Speaker 2>would I want to have lunch with him?

0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:21.160
<v Speaker 3>There would be no no.

0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:23.640
<v Speaker 1>But how about if you met somebody and your new

0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:26.600
<v Speaker 1>partner said that he was best friends with his ex

0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:31.679
<v Speaker 1>because best friends with Dicky my ex. We're very good friends.

0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:35.920
<v Speaker 2>But that's so different. But I so that brings up

0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:41.400
<v Speaker 2>another question. You guys have stayed friends for many reasons. One,

0:13:42.080 --> 0:13:45.240
<v Speaker 2>I think Dicky's a very kind guy who helps you.

0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean you guys who are out there. Susan is

0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.520
<v Speaker 2>telling the truth. Dicky comes over, helps her with yardwork,

0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:54.560
<v Speaker 2>the swimming pool. They work together now with her daughter

0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:57.000
<v Speaker 2>going through this divorce. They're pulling in this boat together

0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:00.760
<v Speaker 2>to you know, help their daughter. Like you guys are

0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:05.040
<v Speaker 2>tight when it comes to your children. I think you

0:14:05.040 --> 0:14:09.280
<v Speaker 2>guys have a very good relationship. But I think that's rare, Susan.

0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:14.000
<v Speaker 1>I believe it is from hearing from most of the world. Yeah,

0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:19.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean, and do you follow somebody if you're following

0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:20.720
<v Speaker 1>them after a breakup?

0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:25.680
<v Speaker 2>Well, most of the men I date are on you know,

0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:28.160
<v Speaker 2>they don't know how to use Instagram or god forbid TikTok.

0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:32.800
<v Speaker 2>They just they may be on Facebook. And frankly, you know,

0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:35.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't unfollow anybody. It takes too much effort and

0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:40.280
<v Speaker 2>I don't care, and I don't curious doing well. I never,

0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:44.440
<v Speaker 2>oh no, I never, I could see I think I lack.

0:14:44.840 --> 0:14:48.200
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm as we know, I'm a very different person.

0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:52.680
<v Speaker 2>If if if I've broken up with you or well

0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:55.320
<v Speaker 2>i've only had one guy ever breakup with me. If

0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:58.160
<v Speaker 2>I've broken up with you, I don't wish you any will.

0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 2>But I broke up with you because I didn't want

0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:02.920
<v Speaker 2>to spend any more time with you. So why would

0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:05.120
<v Speaker 2>I want to be your friend? Why would I want.

0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:06.400
<v Speaker 3>To follow you on instant?

0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.880
<v Speaker 2>It's like I just said again, I'd rather watch dusk grow.

0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:14.680
<v Speaker 3>So you know, I don't know. Wait a minute, Wait a minute.

0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:15.480
<v Speaker 3>So I don't think.

0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:19.240
<v Speaker 2>I don't think that for me that it's a matter

0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:22.120
<v Speaker 2>of you know, just time heal, because I'm healed the

0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:24.120
<v Speaker 2>day I leave the relationship, I'm done.

0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.000
<v Speaker 3>But for you, that's.

0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:31.240
<v Speaker 1>Right the other way around. I didn't think lingering and

0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:35.200
<v Speaker 1>hanging on. Let's just be friends with the hopes that

0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:36.760
<v Speaker 1>you're going to be attracted again.

0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.000
<v Speaker 2>So the guy, and you know, we're not going to

0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:40.480
<v Speaker 2>use this name, but you know, the guy that I'm

0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:43.320
<v Speaker 2>friends with, who I dated, who didn't want to date me.

0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:46.000
<v Speaker 2>I was a very different person when we dated and

0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:48.720
<v Speaker 2>wasn't ready to date. He's a great guy. We're really

0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:52.080
<v Speaker 2>good friends. But I remember I couldn't talk to him

0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:55.120
<v Speaker 2>for I don't know, a couple of months, and then

0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:56.920
<v Speaker 2>one day I reached out and I said I missed

0:15:57.080 --> 0:16:00.640
<v Speaker 2>talking with him, and you know, we've been friends ever since.

0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:04.120
<v Speaker 3>But I don't.

0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:08.760
<v Speaker 2>I could never imagine. And I know you keep saying

0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:10.920
<v Speaker 2>I should date him. I could never imagine going back

0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:13.800
<v Speaker 2>and dating him. Now, could you date.

0:16:13.680 --> 0:16:17.960
<v Speaker 1>It at that point? How about should your partner's X

0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:21.680
<v Speaker 1>ever be a part of your social circle? Would you

0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:22.720
<v Speaker 1>be comfortable with that?

0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:29.200
<v Speaker 2>I can't imagine, I said, I can't imagine. First of all,

0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:36.720
<v Speaker 2>my social circles pretty small. Uh yeah, some of the guys, yeah,

0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.560
<v Speaker 2>but I don't find them. I mean, I just don't.

0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:42.240
<v Speaker 2>I know, I'm gonna take heat again. It's it's not

0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:46.760
<v Speaker 2>that I'm a mean person. It's just it's it's like, okay.

0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:49.440
<v Speaker 3>You're gonna laugh. This week just came to my mind.

0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:53.480
<v Speaker 2>You buy this really beautiful dress, Susan, and you wear it,

0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:56.440
<v Speaker 2>and then you know what, you drop it off at

0:16:56.440 --> 0:17:00.000
<v Speaker 2>the resale shop because you've worn it twice? Do you

0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:01.960
<v Speaker 2>do you really want to have an air tag on

0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:04.640
<v Speaker 2>that dress and see who's wearing it next and wear

0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:07.359
<v Speaker 2>that It's just that's how I feel about men, like

0:17:08.240 --> 0:17:11.800
<v Speaker 2>go live your life, go dance with whoever, Go follow

0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:13.560
<v Speaker 2>your moon, go follow your heart.

0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:15.159
<v Speaker 3>But I don't care.

0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:17.359
<v Speaker 2>I don't want any harm to come to an ex.

0:17:17.480 --> 0:17:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Hear me, I don't want any harm. But in terms

0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:23.520
<v Speaker 2>of you know, my life is full, Your life is full.

0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:29.119
<v Speaker 2>I only have so much space in this brain for men, children, grandchildren,

0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:31.960
<v Speaker 2>and so when I'm done, I'm done.

0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:34.760
<v Speaker 1>No, no, I feel scotty. As you know. I just

0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:38.600
<v Speaker 1>posted a person's place I stopped at a couple of

0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:42.080
<v Speaker 1>weeks back. They were having this big annual summer party.

0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:44.080
<v Speaker 1>They have it every year, and it's so nice to

0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.240
<v Speaker 1>see all the people there. And my ex was there,

0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:48.959
<v Speaker 1>my ex boyfriend that I dated for about a year

0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:54.760
<v Speaker 1>or so, and I was totally fine. How was he weird?

0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:56.919
<v Speaker 1>At first? I go, what is your problem? Aren't you

0:17:57.000 --> 0:17:59.520
<v Speaker 1>over this yet? Come on? You know, because I did

0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:02.080
<v Speaker 1>the breaking up. Of course, of course he needs me

0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:04.560
<v Speaker 1>to go somewhere with get over it.

0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:09.400
<v Speaker 2>So see that's the problem you. By the way, Bator Nation,

0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:11.240
<v Speaker 2>this is the first time you hear of this little outing.

0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:13.400
<v Speaker 2>And you can be sure when this podcast is over,

0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:15.879
<v Speaker 2>I'll be calling Susan to get all the details and

0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:17.040
<v Speaker 2>I will report back.

0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:19.960
<v Speaker 3>No, you did not tell me about this. I don't know.

0:18:20.280 --> 0:18:24.960
<v Speaker 2>I I I think that it really does depend but

0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:28.440
<v Speaker 2>and I think at our age maybe it's different. We

0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:32.440
<v Speaker 2>can be, you know, the we don't have those wild,

0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:36.040
<v Speaker 2>crazy hormones and anger that we had when we were younger.

0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:37.600
<v Speaker 1>And maybe weakly.

0:18:37.960 --> 0:18:43.560
<v Speaker 3>Oh, Susan, maybe what are you're going to give them up?

0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:48.040
<v Speaker 1>I just heard from another gentleman that I dated for

0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:51.400
<v Speaker 1>a very short time, but nice, nice guy just wasn't

0:18:51.480 --> 0:18:54.400
<v Speaker 1>my guy. And he just reached out to me recently.

0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:57.239
<v Speaker 1>His daughter's getting married and he wants me to do

0:18:57.280 --> 0:18:59.160
<v Speaker 1>the wedding. And I'm like, oh my god, John, I'm

0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:01.800
<v Speaker 1>so happy to hear from you. I'd love to blah

0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:04.159
<v Speaker 1>blah blah, like it's nice to stay.

0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:07.600
<v Speaker 2>I think if you want to. I don't think there's

0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:09.720
<v Speaker 2>a right or wrong. It's what I'm saying, if you

0:19:09.880 --> 0:19:12.720
<v Speaker 2>want to be friends with ther exes. A guy that

0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.080
<v Speaker 2>I broke up with recently, I didn't tell you this either,

0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.719
<v Speaker 2>sooner you're getting this firsthand now too. A guy that

0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.600
<v Speaker 2>I broke up with, super nice guy, just again not

0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:23.359
<v Speaker 2>my guy. We only had I don't know, three or

0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:28.800
<v Speaker 2>four or five dates, maybe five, and he sent me

0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:30.200
<v Speaker 2>a picture of his new girlfriend.

0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:31.520
<v Speaker 3>He said, I'm so happy.

0:19:31.520 --> 0:19:34.680
<v Speaker 2>You need to meet her, and I said wait he said,

0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:38.399
<v Speaker 2>I said, oh, whatever your name is, congratulations And I

0:19:38.440 --> 0:19:42.680
<v Speaker 2>am genuinely happy for him. And I thought, I said, oh,

0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:46.320
<v Speaker 2>that'd be lovely someday. It's never happening. Number One, I

0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:49.880
<v Speaker 2>would never do that to another woman because I don't

0:19:49.880 --> 0:19:52.159
<v Speaker 2>know what he told about me, but I'm here to

0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:54.680
<v Speaker 2>tell you he was not happy when I broke up,

0:19:54.840 --> 0:19:57.520
<v Speaker 2>So you know, no, I don't do that.

0:19:57.640 --> 0:19:59.320
<v Speaker 3>I don't do that. I don't do that to other woman.

0:19:59.480 --> 0:20:00.840
<v Speaker 3>Here I go, we're moving on.

0:20:01.840 --> 0:20:06.520
<v Speaker 1>Would he send you a picture of his new girlfriend

0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:09.320
<v Speaker 1>after you broke up with him, just to be like, no, no, no.

0:20:10.320 --> 0:20:15.200
<v Speaker 2>I guess she's an attractive woman. But again, I'm weird. Good

0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:15.680
<v Speaker 2>for them.

0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:18.000
<v Speaker 3>I don't know, like you didn't want me, but I

0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:20.840
<v Speaker 3>found this hot woman. Great. I'm happy for him. That's

0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:21.280
<v Speaker 3>the whole thing.

0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:25.080
<v Speaker 2>It's like, mazzlv, I'm so happy you found your woman.

0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:27.679
<v Speaker 2>May may you live a long and prosperous life together

0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:28.800
<v Speaker 2>just without me.

0:20:29.200 --> 0:20:31.719
<v Speaker 1>We are like this is a true statement or not?

0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:36.000
<v Speaker 1>Is friendship? After a breakup more common than it used

0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:39.639
<v Speaker 1>to be because every time back growing up, if people

0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:42.600
<v Speaker 1>got a divorce, they were taboo like, they were worried

0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:45.119
<v Speaker 1>when they had to do something that the child was

0:20:45.160 --> 0:20:47.439
<v Speaker 1>graduating to both be in the same room at the

0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:51.400
<v Speaker 1>same time. I know there's still people out there like this. However,

0:20:51.560 --> 0:20:57.680
<v Speaker 1>I think it's not as bad. I think because I'm

0:20:57.680 --> 0:20:58.320
<v Speaker 1>not as bad.

0:20:58.640 --> 0:21:01.640
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think people try. I think it will listen.

0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:04.160
<v Speaker 2>When my parents got divorced, I was the only kid

0:21:04.200 --> 0:21:07.879
<v Speaker 2>in my school, literally in my grade. I think divorce

0:21:07.960 --> 0:21:11.480
<v Speaker 2>now is more normalized people. You know, they get to

0:21:11.520 --> 0:21:15.960
<v Speaker 2>know the new girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, whatever. My thing

0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:19.040
<v Speaker 2>always is when it comes to kids, you have to

0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:21.800
<v Speaker 2>think about the kids and what will work best for them.

0:21:22.480 --> 0:21:27.760
<v Speaker 2>And so for that reason, exes, I don't care what

0:21:27.800 --> 0:21:30.240
<v Speaker 2>you do with your exes, but please pay mine to

0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:32.720
<v Speaker 2>your children, because they're the ones that pay the price

0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:34.360
<v Speaker 2>for your divorce.

0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:38.240
<v Speaker 1>And you can't just skip and straight to friendship right

0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:40.960
<v Speaker 1>after a breakup. You need some time to heal well.

0:21:41.040 --> 0:21:42.480
<v Speaker 1>Some do, some do, some do.

0:21:42.800 --> 0:21:45.280
<v Speaker 3>But you know we're going I want to skip. We're done,

0:21:45.359 --> 0:21:47.760
<v Speaker 3>We're done with this conversation. I don't want to talk about.

0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:51.560
<v Speaker 1>People, especially in the younger crowd, because there's big crowds

0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:54.760
<v Speaker 1>of friends and this one and this one we're dating.

0:21:54.760 --> 0:21:57.439
<v Speaker 1>Well they're not dating anymore, but they're all still in

0:21:57.520 --> 0:22:01.040
<v Speaker 1>the same group of friends. I think that's be okay

0:22:01.080 --> 0:22:01.320
<v Speaker 1>with that.

0:22:01.520 --> 0:22:05.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but I have again, I think that is different

0:22:05.119 --> 0:22:09.600
<v Speaker 2>a young couple dating versus someone who was married. And

0:22:09.680 --> 0:22:11.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, now we're at the couple's dinner that meets

0:22:12.000 --> 0:22:14.680
<v Speaker 2>once a month, and you know, Johnny's bringing his new

0:22:14.720 --> 0:22:18.040
<v Speaker 2>wife Louise, and Louis. I mean, no, then I think

0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:21.200
<v Speaker 2>it's a bit much. So I think it depends on circumstances.

0:22:21.280 --> 0:22:22.960
<v Speaker 2>But I want to get into our advice.

0:22:23.119 --> 0:22:24.800
<v Speaker 3>I want to get last one.

0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:29.879
<v Speaker 1>Have you ever reconnected with an X years later?

0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:37.720
<v Speaker 2>Well, I again, I was married, So no, the guy

0:22:38.320 --> 0:22:44.400
<v Speaker 2>with the guy Wait, the guy, I can the guy

0:22:44.680 --> 0:22:46.520
<v Speaker 2>he doesn't listen to this podcast, but I'm going to

0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:49.720
<v Speaker 2>tell me should the guy that I loved in high

0:22:49.760 --> 0:22:52.240
<v Speaker 2>school and you know, he had my heart in just

0:22:52.320 --> 0:22:54.400
<v Speaker 2>forever in a day until I met my husband.

0:22:54.880 --> 0:22:56.840
<v Speaker 3>He lives on Cape Cott.

0:22:56.840 --> 0:22:59.800
<v Speaker 2>He's a journalist and and he writes and I follow

0:22:59.840 --> 0:23:03.040
<v Speaker 2>his writings and stuff. And you know, we talked a little.

0:23:04.480 --> 0:23:06.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't remember how we reached out. He'd written an article.

0:23:06.800 --> 0:23:09.760
<v Speaker 2>He's a very, very smart guy and a very he's

0:23:09.800 --> 0:23:10.560
<v Speaker 2>a published author.

0:23:10.600 --> 0:23:12.120
<v Speaker 3>He's done a lot of cool stuff in his life.

0:23:12.560 --> 0:23:17.000
<v Speaker 3>And he wrote an article and and somebody sent it

0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:19.119
<v Speaker 3>to me, and I just wrote him and said, what

0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:22.639
<v Speaker 3>a great article. And I don't remember what it was about,

0:23:22.680 --> 0:23:25.080
<v Speaker 3>but it really was well written. And we talked just

0:23:25.119 --> 0:23:25.960
<v Speaker 3>a couple of times.

0:23:25.760 --> 0:23:28.879
<v Speaker 2>He's he's with a woman, he's happy, looked at her.

0:23:29.600 --> 0:23:31.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't need the backstory.

0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:32.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I would love to see if you.

0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:35.679
<v Speaker 1>Read something it was well written by him and you

0:23:35.800 --> 0:23:36.840
<v Speaker 1>reached out.

0:23:37.160 --> 0:23:40.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, or I guess I did well not and not

0:23:40.480 --> 0:23:42.800
<v Speaker 2>do him directly, just through the publication and then he

0:23:42.880 --> 0:23:47.600
<v Speaker 2>reached back out to me anyway, But you know what, yeah, whatever,

0:23:48.040 --> 0:23:49.440
<v Speaker 2>I mean again, I don't have it.

0:23:49.440 --> 0:23:50.040
<v Speaker 3>It is nice.

0:23:50.080 --> 0:23:52.160
<v Speaker 2>He was a great he is and was a great guy.

0:23:52.400 --> 0:23:55.160
<v Speaker 2>Can we please move on to our eye.

0:23:54.920 --> 0:23:57.160
<v Speaker 1>The next podcast, we're going to get her some boyfriend

0:23:57.200 --> 0:23:59.200
<v Speaker 1>so she has something to talk about over here?

0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:01.199
<v Speaker 3>Hey, could you know what could we do?

0:24:01.280 --> 0:24:03.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm working on it, Susan, as you know, I'm working

0:24:03.800 --> 0:24:06.160
<v Speaker 2>on it as we speak. People, as we speak, I'm

0:24:06.160 --> 0:24:14.920
<v Speaker 2>working on it. We answer questions every week, as y'all

0:24:14.920 --> 0:24:18.200
<v Speaker 2>know from our listeners, and we give our expert advice.

0:24:18.240 --> 0:24:20.600
<v Speaker 2>So Susan take off the first one. I can hardly wait.

0:24:20.400 --> 0:24:24.800
<v Speaker 1>For these, certainly do. Okay, who is this from? Let

0:24:24.800 --> 0:24:31.360
<v Speaker 1>me see this? Ah from Melissa and guess where she's from? Kathy, Philadelphia?

0:24:31.680 --> 0:24:33.520
<v Speaker 3>Oh your girl? All right? My home?

0:24:33.600 --> 0:24:38.880
<v Speaker 1>Dan? Okay. I love my boyfriend, but every disagreement somehow

0:24:39.119 --> 0:24:42.919
<v Speaker 1>ends up with him saying, well, my ex never had

0:24:42.960 --> 0:24:47.880
<v Speaker 1>a problem with that. He says, he's just giving me context.

0:24:48.080 --> 0:24:54.119
<v Speaker 1>But hearing about his ex during every argument makes me

0:24:54.240 --> 0:24:58.560
<v Speaker 1>feel like I'm constantly being compared. You know what's the

0:24:58.560 --> 0:25:02.160
<v Speaker 1>best way to tell him? Enough is enough? Well, first

0:25:02.200 --> 0:25:06.440
<v Speaker 1>of all, if anybody ever compare me to his ex, well,

0:25:06.520 --> 0:25:08.960
<v Speaker 1>I guess I'm student going to be your ex too,

0:25:09.000 --> 0:25:11.160
<v Speaker 1>because you don't get to say that.

0:25:12.160 --> 0:25:14.000
<v Speaker 2>Well, it's funny you said, because what I would have

0:25:14.000 --> 0:25:16.000
<v Speaker 2>said to him when she said.

0:25:17.359 --> 0:25:20.159
<v Speaker 1>He's just giving me contact.

0:25:19.760 --> 0:25:23.520
<v Speaker 2>No, well my ex, well my ex and never had

0:25:23.520 --> 0:25:25.000
<v Speaker 2>a problem with that. I would say, you know what,

0:25:25.600 --> 0:25:27.200
<v Speaker 2>I think you needed to go back with your ex,

0:25:27.240 --> 0:25:30.080
<v Speaker 2>because now we have a problem, like I just I mean,

0:25:30.119 --> 0:25:31.320
<v Speaker 2>And then I wonder why I'm single.

0:25:31.520 --> 0:25:33.159
<v Speaker 3>I just would not put up with that, would you?

0:25:33.320 --> 0:25:36.480
<v Speaker 1>I am not your ex? Hello? Meet me, I'm Susan,

0:25:37.320 --> 0:25:39.119
<v Speaker 1>and this I don't like?

0:25:40.840 --> 0:25:44.280
<v Speaker 3>You know, I wait, Susan. Why are women? I just

0:25:44.280 --> 0:25:46.840
<v Speaker 3>had this conversation with another woman the other day.

0:25:47.240 --> 0:25:50.760
<v Speaker 2>Why are women? This is getting off course a little bit,

0:25:50.800 --> 0:25:55.399
<v Speaker 2>but work with me. Why are women so afraid to

0:25:56.040 --> 0:25:58.879
<v Speaker 2>say what they want, what they need, whether it's in

0:25:58.920 --> 0:26:03.000
<v Speaker 2>the bedroom or the barroom. Why are women so afraid?

0:26:03.480 --> 0:26:05.320
<v Speaker 2>You and I would have no problem saying I'm not

0:26:05.400 --> 0:26:07.440
<v Speaker 2>your ex and if you want me to be your ex,

0:26:07.520 --> 0:26:08.600
<v Speaker 2>keep this up right.

0:26:08.720 --> 0:26:09.760
<v Speaker 3>That's why we would see.

0:26:09.600 --> 0:26:13.120
<v Speaker 1>It that I could say that statement now. But when

0:26:13.160 --> 0:26:17.879
<v Speaker 1>I'm in it and it's early and these things are happening,

0:26:19.080 --> 0:26:22.600
<v Speaker 1>if I was really really crushing on this person bed,

0:26:22.680 --> 0:26:24.720
<v Speaker 1>I don't know that I would say that right away.

0:26:24.760 --> 0:26:26.520
<v Speaker 1>I'd come home and call you and say, you're not

0:26:26.560 --> 0:26:30.480
<v Speaker 1>going to believe this. But to say it straight to

0:26:30.600 --> 0:26:35.000
<v Speaker 1>him now and I'm older, I think I could in

0:26:35.040 --> 0:26:39.840
<v Speaker 1>a very diplomatic, nice way. Don't ever say that again, asshole.

0:26:40.119 --> 0:26:44.399
<v Speaker 2>I mean, oh, that's very diplomatic. Season love, That's about it.

0:26:44.600 --> 0:26:47.800
<v Speaker 2>Just making sure that's right out of cell side Philly there.

0:26:48.640 --> 0:26:51.920
<v Speaker 3>Jeez. Wait, I just want to say.

0:26:52.040 --> 0:26:54.720
<v Speaker 2>I just want to say when it's very simple, Melissa,

0:26:55.119 --> 0:26:59.880
<v Speaker 2>when you ask, what is the best way to tell

0:26:59.920 --> 0:27:03.200
<v Speaker 2>me enough is enough? Melissa, listen to me right into

0:27:03.240 --> 0:27:07.240
<v Speaker 2>the camera. I am telling you enough is enough. There

0:27:07.240 --> 0:27:08.080
<v Speaker 2>you go, Justina.

0:27:08.320 --> 0:27:10.840
<v Speaker 1>That's what we would call a red flag. And he's

0:27:10.880 --> 0:27:14.600
<v Speaker 1>gonna constantly do this and I are going to resent

0:27:14.720 --> 0:27:15.280
<v Speaker 1>him for it.

0:27:15.520 --> 0:27:17.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So enough for that. Okay.

0:27:17.480 --> 0:27:19.159
<v Speaker 1>If he really loves you, he'll stop.

0:27:20.840 --> 0:27:21.159
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:27:21.200 --> 0:27:23.479
<v Speaker 2>And if he doesn't, there's more fish in the sea.

0:27:23.680 --> 0:27:28.040
<v Speaker 2>We've had this conversation for too Okay. The next question

0:27:28.280 --> 0:27:31.399
<v Speaker 2>is from Amanda, and she's from Nashville. You know how

0:27:31.400 --> 0:27:37.200
<v Speaker 2>I said that Nashville like Louisville. Okay, move on, I'm

0:27:37.280 --> 0:27:40.360
<v Speaker 2>naming cities, all right. My husband and I have been

0:27:40.359 --> 0:27:42.239
<v Speaker 2>married for nine Wait. I just want to say, this

0:27:42.280 --> 0:27:45.320
<v Speaker 2>is what happens when I'm in bed for two days.

0:27:45.640 --> 0:27:49.080
<v Speaker 3>My god, it's like I can't get talk.

0:27:50.440 --> 0:27:52.879
<v Speaker 2>There we go, Amanda says, my husband and I have

0:27:52.960 --> 0:27:55.720
<v Speaker 2>been married for nine years, and lately I feel like

0:27:55.800 --> 0:27:59.800
<v Speaker 2>we've become really good business partners instead of romantic partners.

0:28:00.160 --> 0:28:04.440
<v Speaker 2>Here we go, bedroom boardroom, Susan, we talk about bills,

0:28:04.800 --> 0:28:09.040
<v Speaker 2>work and the kids, but we rarely talk about us anymore.

0:28:09.240 --> 0:28:12.440
<v Speaker 2>We love each other, but the romance feels like it's disappeared.

0:28:12.840 --> 0:28:15.399
<v Speaker 2>Is this just a normal season of marriage or is

0:28:15.400 --> 0:28:17.879
<v Speaker 2>it something we should be actively trying to fix before

0:28:17.880 --> 0:28:20.960
<v Speaker 2>it gets worse. I'm going to say, Amanda, you're right

0:28:21.000 --> 0:28:24.960
<v Speaker 2>on both counts. There are normal seasons of marriage when

0:28:25.119 --> 0:28:28.560
<v Speaker 2>kids in Little league and bake sales and Girl Scouts

0:28:28.560 --> 0:28:32.320
<v Speaker 2>and Brownies and Boy Scouts and all that stuff takes precedence.

0:28:32.640 --> 0:28:35.600
<v Speaker 2>But so yes, there are some of those seasons.

0:28:36.000 --> 0:28:41.320
<v Speaker 3>But you have to actively work together to build back

0:28:41.400 --> 0:28:43.560
<v Speaker 3>up the romance and have date nights and do all

0:28:43.600 --> 0:28:45.800
<v Speaker 3>those things. It's both both are true.

0:28:45.920 --> 0:28:47.520
<v Speaker 1>What do you think is very very true? And I

0:28:47.560 --> 0:28:50.640
<v Speaker 1>think women notice it a lot more than men. Men.

0:28:50.720 --> 0:28:53.640
<v Speaker 1>It just goes by their head, but you need to

0:28:53.680 --> 0:28:54.840
<v Speaker 1>spice it up a little bit.

0:28:54.920 --> 0:28:57.640
<v Speaker 3>Wait a minute, what goes by their head?

0:28:57.720 --> 0:29:01.560
<v Speaker 1>We're perfect that everything else, what happens to the romance, no.

0:29:03.640 --> 0:29:04.040
<v Speaker 3>Air.

0:29:04.200 --> 0:29:05.720
<v Speaker 1>I think she needs to go out and buy a

0:29:05.720 --> 0:29:09.680
<v Speaker 1>cute little outfit and get somebody to watch the kids,

0:29:09.720 --> 0:29:12.040
<v Speaker 1>and you know, spice it up, shock them a little bit.

0:29:12.120 --> 0:29:15.680
<v Speaker 1>That's very playful. Yeah, I mean they recommend things like that. Yeah,

0:29:16.440 --> 0:29:20.760
<v Speaker 1>and I does get stale, and you're great at working

0:29:20.840 --> 0:29:23.960
<v Speaker 1>together and you're still in love with each other, as

0:29:24.000 --> 0:29:27.239
<v Speaker 1>you said, then I think this would be fun and

0:29:27.280 --> 0:29:28.560
<v Speaker 1>it would spark it back up.

0:29:29.040 --> 0:29:31.840
<v Speaker 3>And I do think man, you said men don't care.

0:29:32.400 --> 0:29:33.600
<v Speaker 3>I think men don't care.

0:29:33.680 --> 0:29:37.440
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes they don't even notice. I think women's intuition is

0:29:37.560 --> 0:29:42.160
<v Speaker 1>so spot on. As you know, we feel these things first,

0:29:42.200 --> 0:29:45.040
<v Speaker 1>we notice them first. We want to talk about it first.

0:29:45.960 --> 0:29:46.520
<v Speaker 3>So tell me.

0:29:46.720 --> 0:29:49.360
<v Speaker 2>In the guys several of the guys I've dated, when

0:29:49.400 --> 0:29:52.360
<v Speaker 2>I ask them what happened in their marriages, I would

0:29:52.440 --> 0:29:55.479
<v Speaker 2>say seventy five percent of them say there was no

0:29:55.520 --> 0:29:57.840
<v Speaker 2>more intimacy and they just so.

0:29:58.320 --> 0:29:59.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think men do notice it. I think they

0:30:00.000 --> 0:30:02.920
<v Speaker 3>either they get they get divorced.

0:30:03.160 --> 0:30:06.959
<v Speaker 1>Fags, I mean, and that comes a whole nother conversation.

0:30:07.160 --> 0:30:11.239
<v Speaker 1>Menopause destroys women without help. You might not want it.

0:30:11.280 --> 0:30:16.080
<v Speaker 1>I get it. I get it. But Amanda, it sounds

0:30:16.120 --> 0:30:19.080
<v Speaker 1>like you two love each other a lot just to

0:30:19.320 --> 0:30:20.960
<v Speaker 1>do something sporadic. You know.

0:30:21.120 --> 0:30:24.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Susan's right to do something fun and playful, but

0:30:25.040 --> 0:30:28.480
<v Speaker 2>understand it's not going to be when you've got a kid.

0:30:28.600 --> 0:30:31.640
<v Speaker 2>Throwing up in the bed next year, it's not going

0:30:31.680 --> 0:30:33.840
<v Speaker 2>to be a passionate night. Okay, it's a little bit

0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:36.680
<v Speaker 2>of both, But wish you could look and understand that

0:30:37.320 --> 0:30:39.600
<v Speaker 2>loving each other and talking it through.

0:30:40.200 --> 0:30:43.239
<v Speaker 3>Don't just sweep it under the rug. Talk about it

0:30:43.280 --> 0:30:43.720
<v Speaker 3>with him.

0:30:44.040 --> 0:30:46.440
<v Speaker 2>Ask you know, there's nothing wrong with talking about fantasies,

0:30:46.480 --> 0:30:49.360
<v Speaker 2>doing some like Susan said something just that would blow

0:30:49.400 --> 0:30:51.600
<v Speaker 2>his mind and bring back a little romance.

0:30:52.400 --> 0:30:55.640
<v Speaker 1>I think that Kathy said it is a season of marriage.

0:30:55.840 --> 0:30:58.680
<v Speaker 1>We do go through dry spells if you will.

0:30:59.520 --> 0:31:02.800
<v Speaker 3>And when you're over menopause, it's a longer. That's something different.

0:31:03.000 --> 0:31:05.840
<v Speaker 1>You know. Buy a little outfit and make a reservation

0:31:06.160 --> 0:31:09.760
<v Speaker 1>like he's gonna be like, whoa, what's this? Sha, Go

0:31:09.880 --> 0:31:11.000
<v Speaker 1>for it, you deserve.

0:31:10.720 --> 0:31:13.200
<v Speaker 3>It, and then Susan can come and do a recommitment ceremony.

0:31:13.280 --> 0:31:13.840
<v Speaker 3>Ye all right.

0:31:15.160 --> 0:31:18.320
<v Speaker 2>We love answering your questions. Clearly, we always have an opinion.

0:31:18.720 --> 0:31:22.480
<v Speaker 2>You can submit all of your questions, burning or otherwise

0:31:22.520 --> 0:31:22.920
<v Speaker 2>to us.

0:31:23.000 --> 0:31:23.920
<v Speaker 3>It's very easy.

0:31:24.000 --> 0:31:25.800
<v Speaker 2>All you have to do is go to Bachelor Nation

0:31:26.320 --> 0:31:30.200
<v Speaker 2>dot com slash Golden Hour, come back each week. We

0:31:30.280 --> 0:31:32.840
<v Speaker 2>love answering your questions. You know, we also want to

0:31:32.920 --> 0:31:36.040
<v Speaker 2>hear what's going on, Like when we've answered your question

0:31:36.280 --> 0:31:39.120
<v Speaker 2>right back in and say, hey, here's what happened or

0:31:39.120 --> 0:31:43.160
<v Speaker 2>here's what didn't I yeah, let us know, all right?

0:31:43.240 --> 0:31:48.040
<v Speaker 1>Moving on, Okay, Kathy, here comes your favorite part about

0:31:48.040 --> 0:31:51.480
<v Speaker 1>the gals googling it and our slang Words of the week,

0:31:51.840 --> 0:31:55.320
<v Speaker 1>where we break down the slang words that people are

0:31:55.480 --> 0:31:59.440
<v Speaker 1>using in dating and pop culture. Now, I have to

0:31:59.520 --> 0:32:04.440
<v Speaker 1>admit he has recognized quite a few of these words.

0:32:04.880 --> 0:32:06.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't know about today. Let's see.

0:32:07.160 --> 0:32:12.560
<v Speaker 3>I mean this one the first one. Let her or

0:32:12.680 --> 0:32:13.360
<v Speaker 3>him cook.

0:32:14.000 --> 0:32:18.400
<v Speaker 2>It means let her keep going, trust the process, don't

0:32:18.440 --> 0:32:20.280
<v Speaker 2>interrupt because she's onto something.

0:32:20.960 --> 0:32:21.160
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:32:21.240 --> 0:32:24.160
<v Speaker 2>It's often used when someone is making a point, telling

0:32:24.200 --> 0:32:27.880
<v Speaker 2>the story, flirting, plotting, or doing something that looks questionable

0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:30.240
<v Speaker 2>at first but might pay off. And to me, that

0:32:30.240 --> 0:32:32.160
<v Speaker 2>makes perfect sense. Let it cook, let it go.

0:32:32.200 --> 0:32:34.120
<v Speaker 3>Let it slide, let it were making a meal.

0:32:34.600 --> 0:32:37.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, of course, Susan's like, cook, what are we cooking here?

0:32:37.960 --> 0:32:41.760
<v Speaker 2>So here's an example. Somebody predicts who's getting the final

0:32:41.840 --> 0:32:45.640
<v Speaker 2>rowse after episode one. Okay, let her cook, meaning let's

0:32:45.640 --> 0:32:46.320
<v Speaker 2>see where it goes.

0:32:46.400 --> 0:32:47.200
<v Speaker 3>Is she gonna get it?

0:32:47.360 --> 0:32:52.160
<v Speaker 2>Or she has a color coded spreadsheet ranking all her

0:32:52.280 --> 0:32:57.080
<v Speaker 2>hinge matches. Yes, let her cover like, let it go,

0:32:57.240 --> 0:33:00.240
<v Speaker 2>let it run, Let's see where this goes. Okay, she

0:33:00.320 --> 0:33:04.200
<v Speaker 2>puts together an outfit that looks completely random, then it

0:33:04.360 --> 0:33:09.280
<v Speaker 2>somehow looks incredible. Let her cook like it might pay

0:33:09.320 --> 0:33:12.680
<v Speaker 2>off for wearing this. You know, it's just like it's

0:33:12.760 --> 0:33:14.000
<v Speaker 2>let's see where this thing goes.

0:33:14.040 --> 0:33:16.920
<v Speaker 3>That's that's how I would how I would if I

0:33:16.960 --> 0:33:19.200
<v Speaker 3>had to summarize it. Let's see where this thing goes.

0:33:19.320 --> 0:33:21.920
<v Speaker 1>I try to use them too, so I don't forget them.

0:33:22.080 --> 0:33:26.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so my day tomorrow night, we're gonna let them cook,

0:33:26.680 --> 0:33:27.480
<v Speaker 2>or I'm gonna cook.

0:33:27.560 --> 0:33:28.480
<v Speaker 3>Somebody's gonna cook.

0:33:29.000 --> 0:33:33.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay. The next one is girl math, a tongue in

0:33:33.480 --> 0:33:42.280
<v Speaker 1>cheek internet trend where people jokingly justify spending money this

0:33:42.600 --> 0:33:46.840
<v Speaker 1>instantly illogical logic that they they put my name next

0:33:46.840 --> 0:33:49.960
<v Speaker 1>to this on purpose. It means it's men as humor,

0:33:50.480 --> 0:33:52.840
<v Speaker 1>not actual financial advice.

0:33:53.120 --> 0:33:55.640
<v Speaker 2>I've heard this and say these things, and so this

0:33:55.840 --> 0:33:57.280
<v Speaker 2>is perfect, isn't for you?

0:33:57.360 --> 0:34:01.200
<v Speaker 1>Example? If I paid with cash it was basically free,

0:34:02.680 --> 0:34:06.160
<v Speaker 1>that means you still don't know. Returning a one hundred

0:34:06.200 --> 0:34:09.239
<v Speaker 1>and twenty dollars dress means I made one hundred and

0:34:09.320 --> 0:34:10.080
<v Speaker 1>twenty dollars.

0:34:10.120 --> 0:34:13.840
<v Speaker 3>I've heard you say those things. Well keep it.

0:34:14.160 --> 0:34:17.760
<v Speaker 1>I forgot I ordered it. It's a surprise gift coming

0:34:17.800 --> 0:34:20.319
<v Speaker 1>from my past self. Well that you've heard me say, yes,

0:34:21.840 --> 0:34:24.440
<v Speaker 1>anything under ten dollars doesn't count.

0:34:24.480 --> 0:34:28.839
<v Speaker 3>I love girl math. Yeah, I mean Susan. I'm We're

0:34:28.840 --> 0:34:30.920
<v Speaker 3>just going to call Susan girl math from now on.

0:34:31.040 --> 0:34:34.480
<v Speaker 1>It's like Kathy one Kathy's biggest things. When I say,

0:34:34.840 --> 0:34:36.799
<v Speaker 1>but I don't have to pay for that airline take it.

0:34:36.800 --> 0:34:37.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm using my mile.

0:34:37.840 --> 0:34:40.000
<v Speaker 3>Well, you spent money to get those miles.

0:34:40.000 --> 0:34:42.080
<v Speaker 1>You're paying for the ticket. I said, no, I'm not

0:34:42.239 --> 0:34:44.319
<v Speaker 1>reaching in my pocket and paying for the.

0:34:44.320 --> 0:34:48.040
<v Speaker 2>South And so, Susan, that is a perfect example of

0:34:48.120 --> 0:34:52.400
<v Speaker 2>girl math. You see, you had to spend one hundred

0:34:52.840 --> 0:34:56.080
<v Speaker 2>dollars on that dress, You had to spend five hundred

0:34:56.160 --> 0:34:57.920
<v Speaker 2>dollars on that trip to the beach.

0:34:58.200 --> 0:35:00.239
<v Speaker 3>So now you have six hundred and twenty dollars. Said,

0:35:00.320 --> 0:35:04.240
<v Speaker 3>you've spent out of your wallet and now you got.

0:35:04.200 --> 0:35:05.920
<v Speaker 1>Six and twenty miles.

0:35:06.239 --> 0:35:09.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so you did buy those smiles. It is not free.

0:35:09.600 --> 0:35:12.480
<v Speaker 3>This was girl mouth was made for you, Susan. I

0:35:12.560 --> 0:35:13.200
<v Speaker 3>can't even let.

0:35:13.200 --> 0:35:16.319
<v Speaker 1>It I'm understanding that I was going to spend that

0:35:16.440 --> 0:35:19.839
<v Speaker 1>six hundred regardless my life. You spend money, then you

0:35:19.880 --> 0:35:23.280
<v Speaker 1>get a free airline ticket when you have enough miles,

0:35:23.360 --> 0:35:27.440
<v Speaker 1>but or purposely go out and pay for the ticket.

0:35:27.600 --> 0:35:30.600
<v Speaker 1>I know where the miles came from. I know I

0:35:30.640 --> 0:35:31.479
<v Speaker 1>had to spend then.

0:35:31.760 --> 0:35:34.359
<v Speaker 3>No, here's what's Here's Susan's girl mauth, girl mouth. Here's

0:35:34.360 --> 0:35:37.600
<v Speaker 3>Susan's girl mouth, Kathy, I got two for one. I

0:35:37.719 --> 0:35:39.719
<v Speaker 3>spent six hundred and twenty dollars on a pair of

0:35:39.719 --> 0:35:43.960
<v Speaker 3>shoes in and I got a free airline ticket. We

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<v Speaker 3>gotta go. Thanks for joining us on Bachelor Golden Hour.

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<v Speaker 3>Absolutely we have a ball.

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<v Speaker 1>Make sure to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen

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<v Speaker 1>to your podcast, and.

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<v Speaker 2>You can follow Golden Hour on social media at Bachelor

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<v Speaker 2>Happy Hour and at Bachelor Nation. Until next week, do

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<v Speaker 2>some girl math and have a great week.

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<v Speaker 1>Have a great time.