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Speaker 1: Hello, good morning. I don't know why I say that.

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Speaker 2: Any time, Chelsea.

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Speaker 1: I had.

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Speaker 3: I got an epidural last night, last night, last afternoon.

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, what for my neck?

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Speaker 3: I have a dislocated uh or an impingement on my

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Speaker 3: spinal cord from an.

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Speaker 1: Cheap discs in my neck.

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Speaker 3: Possibly I had did a big, pretty big face plant

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Speaker 3: this winter, so that could have definitely been it. But anyway,

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Speaker 3: I was how experiencing shoulder pain and then I did

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Speaker 3: one of those body MRIs and then that told us

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Speaker 3: that I had to do a spinal leminari and then

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Speaker 3: we found it and then I was like, oh, now.

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Speaker 1: I'm really in pain and gosh. So then I got

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Speaker 1: my epidural.

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Speaker 3: And I was really excited about my epidural because I've

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Speaker 3: spoken about this ad nauseum about how much I enjoy

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Speaker 3: being put under, and my assistant had emailed me yesterday

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Speaker 3: the day before telling me that I couldn't eat all day,

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Speaker 3: which it was at like three p thirty. So I

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Speaker 3: was like, oh, that's hard, but of course doable. And

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Speaker 3: then I was excited about being put under, you know,

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Speaker 3: properly put Yeah, but it was just a twilight and

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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Speaker 2: So you didn't get that like real good.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 1: I felt them poke it in my neck.

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Speaker 3: I felt two injections, Like it wasn't the magic carpet, right,

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Speaker 3: I was excited about all day.

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Speaker 1: That got me through the day. I was excited about.

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Speaker 1: You know, I love a just like.

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Speaker 2: A body buzz.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And when they cut me on the table was funny

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Speaker 3: because they had to put me down face down, which

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Speaker 3: is really where I belong, but because they had to

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Speaker 3: have my neck exposed for the injection.

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Speaker 1: And I remember thinking like this is this is going to.

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Speaker 3: Be funny when I like I'm out of it, No,

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Speaker 3: when I like go under, because I'm going to be

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Speaker 3: doing a face plant anyway. So I got home at

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Speaker 3: like four point thirty and they'd given me some adavan,

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Speaker 3: So I took that the night away and had a

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Speaker 3: nice little good night party.

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Speaker 1: Well, Gop thought it was the morning.

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Speaker 3: And it was eleven pm. I got my hyperbaric chamber.

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Speaker 3: I slept in there for three.

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Speaker 2: Hours after eleven pm.

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Speaker 3: After eleven pm you're supposed to do two and a

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Speaker 3: half hours. So I don't know, I'll probably have to

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Speaker 3: drink some extra water this morning or something.

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Speaker 1: My girlfriend the other night was so funny. We were

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Speaker 1: at my friend's house. Somebody was like, you have to.

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Speaker 3: Drink water, drink more water, And my friend Wendy was like,

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Speaker 3: so sick of every She goes, Why is water so trendy?

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Speaker 3: She goes, When I grow up, nobody offered me water,

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Speaker 3: She goes, I would play all day at school and

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Speaker 3: I would come in and have a juice box.

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Speaker 1: No one said anything about water. And now everywhere you

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Speaker 1: go it's like they're fucking shoving it down your throat.

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Speaker 5: I mean, we are made what ninety seven percent of water,

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Speaker 5: so why do we need so much more of it?

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Speaker 1: Because it's there, like it's not going anywhere.

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Speaker 3: And I'm always I get an iv every week because

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Speaker 3: I'm always dehydrated. I never drink enough water, but I like,

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Speaker 3: in the last year two years, I've drank much more

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Speaker 3: than I used to.

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Speaker 1: But water is in everything else you're drinking too.

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Speaker 3: And then when they tell you that you're so dehydrated

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Speaker 3: that not even water will help.

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Speaker 1: You, I'm like, well then what will?

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Speaker 3: And they're like, oh, you need an IVY or you

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Speaker 3: need electrolytes, and I'm like, all I do is put

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Speaker 3: electrolytes in my doctor, doctor.

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Speaker 1: Doctors are telling me.

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Speaker 3: Every doctor is like, the reason you have this issue

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Speaker 3: with your neck is because you're too dehydrated.

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Speaker 5: But I do see that drinking water, I have a flavor,

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Speaker 5: but sure it's still water.

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Speaker 2: After that.

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Speaker 3: Enough, I mean, it's never enough, and it's like it

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Speaker 3: is being forced down our throats in a way that

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Speaker 3: it wasn't that would offer me water. The reason I

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Speaker 3: don't drink waters because no one gave me any when

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Speaker 3: I was growing up, either someone's mother gave us the water.

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Speaker 1: I was like, don't go back to that house, like,

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Speaker 1: where's my glass of milk?

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Speaker 5: When I was in high school, I started getting chronic

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Speaker 5: headaches and my mom was like, well, how how long

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Speaker 5: have you had these? I was like months, like every

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Speaker 5: single day a headache.

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Speaker 6: Me.

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Speaker 1: Guess they told you to drink water.

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Speaker 5: She shir did, And I had a little picture that

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Speaker 5: had on the counter every day and I would drink

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Speaker 5: the whole thing and then my headaches mysteriously disappear.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, then there you go. Water's great for you. Everybody,

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Speaker 1: we're back on track.

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Speaker 2: Drink more water.

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Speaker 5: Chelsea, do you have any sort of skills or talents

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Speaker 5: in your life that you have chosen not to pursue

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Speaker 5: since you had sort of other big talents.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I guess acting I never really seriously pursued

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Speaker 3: because I don't think I can pretend to be someone

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Speaker 3: completely different. Sure I don't have that skill, but like

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Speaker 3: I've been in movies, I'm doing a movie. Actually I'm

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Speaker 3: doing a cute little role in this movie in a

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Speaker 3: couple of weeks.

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Speaker 1: I'm filming that in Syracuse, New York.

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Speaker 3: And that worked out perfectly because when I'm on tour,

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Speaker 3: I can never do anything but right. And they were like, oh,

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Speaker 3: and it's right, I have a date in New York

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Speaker 3: and so I was like, yes, perfect, Like I would

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Speaker 3: love to, but you know, people don't think of me

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Speaker 3: as anything other than like a funny character or like,

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Speaker 3: you know, a big sister best friend type like that.

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Speaker 3: So I don't want to play that, you know, I

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Speaker 3: don't play j Lo's like sidekick or something.

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Speaker 1: But I like to change it up. But I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I don't love being in a trailer.

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Speaker 3: All day waiting, you know, it's a long process. I

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Speaker 3: like to use my own language, and so I like

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Speaker 3: to improvise on set too. So it's got to be

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Speaker 3: a place where I can have fun. Like this movie

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Speaker 3: I'm doing, They're like, we want you to come and

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Speaker 3: have fun, do your thing. This is the role, but

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Speaker 3: like do whatever you want with it.

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Speaker 1: So that's fun. So I'll do that.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I've never really pursued acting, just because I

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Speaker 3: never was really an actress.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, or is it something you're passionate about or like

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Speaker 5: not really, it was just a means to an end.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I feel like being a comedian and like kind of

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Speaker 3: creating my own Mariner is what I've done, you know,

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Speaker 3: with all my books and my stand up and my

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Speaker 3: talk shows and the podcast. Like I get to do

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Speaker 3: what I'm doing rather than having being placed in someone

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Speaker 3: else's project. I feel like I'm very autonomous that way,

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Speaker 3: and I don't particularly not that I don't play well

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Speaker 3: with others, but I like to be in charge of

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Speaker 3: my own stuff.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And there is something really wonderful that you get

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Speaker 5: to make these sort of creative decisions. You get to

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Speaker 5: be in a position of power rather than just sort

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Speaker 5: of going out and having to read the lines that

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Speaker 5: somebody else has written for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I can't sing or dance, so like

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Speaker 3: those are not options for me.

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Speaker 1: I can't really play a musical instrument. I don't have.

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Speaker 1: I mean, anything that I'm interested in.

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Speaker 3: Is athletic, Like, yeah, I love to ski, so that

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Speaker 3: I made sure. I said to myself when I was

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Speaker 3: like twenty five years old, when I rediscovered skiing, I

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Speaker 3: was like, I want to be successful.

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Speaker 1: Enough to pay someone to make me a great skier. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I did do that.

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Speaker 5: Are you someone when you're learning a new talent that

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Speaker 5: you are like, okay, being bad at it for a while,

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Speaker 5: or do you want to be great right away?

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Speaker 3: I want to be a good student, so I want

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Speaker 3: to I don't want you to have to tell me twice.

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Speaker 3: I like very specific instruction, like Spanish. I'm very passionate

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Speaker 3: about learning Spanish, but I'm not as diligent as one

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Speaker 3: would be if they really wanted to be able to

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Speaker 3: converse in the language. Like I'm always trying my Belle

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Speaker 3: and I are always working on my Spanish.

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Speaker 1: I'm on Lingo, dear.

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Speaker 3: I have my classes I take each day, I have

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Speaker 3: a tutor, but I'm still not fluent. So clearly something's amiss,

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Speaker 3: which it's practice. Yeah, but I've also learned when you're

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Speaker 3: learning new things as I've gotten older, stop being so

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Speaker 3: anal retentive about getting it right, like it absorbs, learning absorbs.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't always hit you in the moment, but once

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Speaker 3: you build a strong enough foundation, ye can stuff starts

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Speaker 3: to sink in without trying so hard.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I'm someone who's very I'm very fine with being bad

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Speaker 5: at something until i'm good at it and like sticking

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Speaker 5: with something. You know, one of my nieces she gets

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Speaker 5: so frustrated and angry when she's not like, just perfect

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Speaker 5: at it the first try.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no, it's okay.

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Speaker 5: You build skills, you build muscle memory, and then if

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Speaker 5: you keep doing it consistently, you'll be great eventually.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's consistency and not flogging yourself or not getting

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Speaker 3: it exactly right.

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Speaker 1: That's a young thing. Uh uh, that's you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.

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Speaker 1: So our next guest is a good friend of mine.

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Speaker 3: I love her so much. She is a ray of sunshine.

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Speaker 3: She has a lot of stuff going on, so let

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Speaker 3: me inform you and all of her stuff and products

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Speaker 3: that she is involved in I have tried because she

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Speaker 3: is a friend. She is the founder of in Bloom,

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Speaker 3: which is a supplement powder, and she has a vodka

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Speaker 3: brand called.

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Speaker 1: King Street vodka.

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Speaker 3: She's the cohos of the Sibling Revelry podcast with another

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Speaker 3: one of our favorite guests, Oliver Hudson. So please welcome

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Speaker 3: actress and entrepreneur Kate Hudson. Yay, Kate, Look who's here,

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Speaker 3: My buddy, my sister. Do you know that I grew

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Speaker 3: up pretending I in third grade, I lied to all

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Speaker 3: my schoolmates so that they would respect me more and

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Speaker 3: said that I was going to be in a reboot

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Speaker 3: of Private Benjamin and playing Goldie Home's daughter. I just

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Speaker 3: lied to the whole school and everyone believed me. So

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Speaker 3: when I grew up and I became friends and I

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Speaker 3: met Goldie and Kate for the first time, I was like, you, guys,

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Speaker 3: I'm part of this family, whether like you accept me

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Speaker 3: or not.

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Speaker 4: But it was really a fast acceptance.

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Speaker 2: Entry perfect.

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Speaker 4: It just felt right. It just felt right.

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Speaker 3: Speaking of fast entries, I just saw Kate last night. Actually,

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Speaker 3: we were celebrating one of her magazine launches.

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Speaker 4: We did.

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Speaker 3: She's on the cover of Want magazine and so she

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Speaker 3: had a party for that because it's her first magazine

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Speaker 3: cover ever, and so that's exciting.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was yeah, number one, number one, although it

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Speaker 4: was a king Street Vodka party too, so we did

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Speaker 4: celebrate with my vodka.

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Speaker 3: And I am a big ardent supporter of King Street

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Speaker 3: Vodka because of Kate's relationship with them. She introduced me

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Speaker 3: to King Street Vodka. And you know that I'm very

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Speaker 3: particular about my vodkas. It's either Belvidere or King Street

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Speaker 3: for me.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, exactly, I do get a little jealous when

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Speaker 4: I see Belvidere. I'm not gonna mine.

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Speaker 5: I know.

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Speaker 3: Well, that's because I don't have any King Street left

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Speaker 3: because I drank it all because it's so delicious, So

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Speaker 3: you have to send me another case.

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Speaker 1: I suppose I could order one myself.

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Speaker 5: What it is also like very beautiful, like the battle's gorgeous.

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Speaker 5: It's perfect for a gift.

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Speaker 3: Like, yeah, yeah, you're such a You're such an entrepreneur, Kate.

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Speaker 3: I mean, look at you blossoming into womanhood.

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Speaker 1: You know what.

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Speaker 4: I just have so many things I want to do.

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Speaker 4: There's this there's this really funny post online where this

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Speaker 4: girl's like fully ADHD, like my ADHD self, and.

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Speaker 7: She's like I want to do everything, Like I'm going

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Speaker 7: to do this and I'm going to like make wooden

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Speaker 7: spoons and then basically, it's like, I think that's who

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Speaker 7: I am. I think I'm just massively adhd have to

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Speaker 7: do a million different things and somehow I'm able to

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Speaker 7: like figure it out do it all.

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Speaker 1: Are we allowed to talk about what you and I

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Speaker 1: were talking about last night? Music?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's talk about that, because I think that's speaking

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Speaker 3: of doing a bunch of different things. So Kate is

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Speaker 3: musically gifted, and if you didn't know that, she has

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Speaker 3: a banging voice on her and she loves to fucking sing.

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Speaker 1: I love loves to do everything.

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Speaker 3: She loves to dance, she loves to sing, she loves

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Speaker 3: to meditate, she likes to have children.

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Speaker 4: With multiple men. I love to sing. I mean honestly,

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Speaker 4: when I was younger, I thought that's what I was

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Speaker 4: going to do, you know, I thought I was gonna

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Speaker 4: sing and dance and music theater was always my favorite

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Speaker 4: type of acting other than like improv. But really I

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Speaker 4: thought I was going to sing. And I never thought like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I can't do all of it until I started auditioningly

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Speaker 4: really young, got very famous, very fast, and then it

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Speaker 4: was like, you don't break what's not broken. You don't

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Speaker 4: go from being an actor to like now, I'm, you know,

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Speaker 4: a musician, so I just kind of kept it to

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Speaker 4: myself forever. I just I just wrote music my whole

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Speaker 4: life and I have never shared it. And then in

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Speaker 4: the lockdown, I was really writing music and then I

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Speaker 4: was like, what's I can't keep going and not put

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Speaker 4: this out there, I'd really regret it. So I started

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Speaker 4: writing and then started writing with Linda Perry. It was

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Speaker 4: amazing and we really hit it off, and then it's

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Speaker 4: just sort of unfolded from there with no expectation. It

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Speaker 4: just sort of was like, I'm just going to make

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Speaker 4: a record. I'm going to make a record, and here

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Speaker 4: I am, like two years later. It's been a great,

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Speaker 4: really great, massive creative experience for me. And I can't

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Speaker 4: wait for it to come out.

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Speaker 1: And when does it come out?

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Speaker 4: I can't say that, yeah, not yet, but it's coming,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 1: And did see it influenced this at all?

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Speaker 3: This decision because when you guys work together on your

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Speaker 3: project you did with her.

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Speaker 1: I felt like she had an impact on you musically.

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Speaker 1: Do you is that accurate?

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Speaker 4: You? Like? Sea gave me this like this huge like

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Speaker 4: hug of confidence. You know, she really was like, you're

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Speaker 4: a singer that's what you really are, and kind of

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Speaker 4: gave me these incredible songs to sing that were really

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Speaker 4: powerful and where my voice likes to sit, you know,

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Speaker 4: I like powerful songs, and and yeah, she really gave

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Speaker 4: me that like kiss of confidence. I had a hard

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Speaker 4: time really believing in myself as a singer for a

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Speaker 4: number of different reasons. But over the years, as I

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Speaker 4: got older, I got more and more kind of closed

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Speaker 4: off with my singing, and then Sea really opened it

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Speaker 4: back up for me for sure.

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Speaker 8: Wow, like feeling.

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Speaker 4: Confident actually just being able to share it.

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Speaker 6: You know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're going to go on tour when your

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Speaker 3: album comes out, which is something we were talking about

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Speaker 3: last we Well, she has experience being on tour because

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Speaker 3: she's been married or dated men that have toured the

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Speaker 3: whole life, so she knows what that's about.

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Speaker 1: Right at the.

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Speaker 4: Only way I'm going to get back on tours if

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Speaker 4: I do it myself.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I hear the hell her.

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Speaker 3: But another thing that I love about Kate, which I

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Speaker 3: want to talk to you about, Kate, is that you

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Speaker 3: do have three different children from three different men. And

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Speaker 3: I we were talking about that last night because you

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Speaker 3: said it's you, Oh, who else? Has that, Kate Winslet

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Speaker 3: has that. And then there was another third person who.

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Speaker 4: Was the third person Melanie Griffin.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, there's a couple of people.

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Speaker 3: Were you saying that you thought you'd take a lot

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Speaker 3: of shit for that, because I was saying, I don't

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Speaker 3: think you take any heat.

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Speaker 1: For that, not that you should in any way, I don't.

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Speaker 4: Take any kind of I would say respectable heat.

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Speaker 3: Right, it's probably the same heat I get for not

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Speaker 3: having children.

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Speaker 1: It's the kind of heat you're talking about.

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Speaker 4: That's right, that's right. But I do get like, I

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00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,360
Speaker 4: do get a lot of you know, the little peanut

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Speaker 4: galleries out in the world that like to kind of

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00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,920
Speaker 4: on certain days like Mother's Day. You know, you'll see

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Speaker 4: it in the comments, like you must be so proud

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Speaker 4: to have three kids with three dads, you know, little

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Speaker 4: little things like that, And I'm like, well, yeah, actually

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Speaker 4: I am, because it's it's great. But yeah, I don't

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Speaker 4: I don't catch like any big people don't shame me.

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Speaker 4: I don't feel like I get shamed very often about it.

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Speaker 3: Every once in a while, Yeah, well, talk to me

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Speaker 3: about a little bit what it's like having these kids

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Speaker 3: at such different stages in your life. Because last night

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Speaker 3: you were saying that Rider's going to be thirty two

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Speaker 3: years old when Ronnie gets her driver's license.

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Speaker 4: Right, that's right. I mean, well, honestly, it's like for

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Speaker 4: me having Rider. I was so young, but.

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Speaker 3: I remember, oh my god, I remember that pregnancy. I

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Speaker 3: didn't know you that, but I remember your pregnancy. I

353
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Speaker 3: was you, she's like a monster truck.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I pregnant, and I was like, I am.

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Speaker 4: All I wanted was was burgers, fried food, fried chicken,

356
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Speaker 4: and ice cream. And I would eat a pint of

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Speaker 4: ice cream my mom. I'd like sit at home, like eating,

358
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Speaker 4: and my mom would like come and I'd see her

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Speaker 4: hand just like the ice cream, and I kind of

360
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Speaker 4: pull it away. I gained almost eighty pounds. I was

361
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Speaker 4: so happy. I was just big and happy and and

362
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Speaker 4: I thought I knew what I was doing. You know,

363
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Speaker 4: I really wanted to have a baby. He's really a

364
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Speaker 4: nine to eleven baby, you know, nine to eleven happened.

365
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Speaker 4: I was married to Chris. We were so happy, and

366
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Speaker 4: I just wanted a family and I was ready. And

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Speaker 4: then and then you know, six years later, getting divorced,

368
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Speaker 4: going like wow, I'm a mom of a toddler. My

369
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 4: friends are still just like out and about and single,

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Speaker 4: and so I had to figure out how to manage

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Speaker 4: being a mom and actually enjoying being young and out

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Speaker 4: and single and having a good time. And so I

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00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,600
Speaker 4: never knew what life was without having that voice in

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Speaker 4: the back of my head going like you need to

375
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Speaker 4: go home and wake up at six in the morning

376
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,840
Speaker 4: and make pancakes. Like you should go home now, you know.

377
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:16,760
Speaker 4: So my first rider was like all trial and error.

378
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,480
Speaker 4: I wrote a song about it on my album. He

379
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,720
Speaker 4: was like my witness, you know, he was there my

380
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:27,480
Speaker 4: whole adult life. And then that relationship didn't work out.

381
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Speaker 4: I'm single and then I met a new guy.

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Speaker 1: Was that a difficult separation or divorce for you? I mean,

383
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:34,520
Speaker 1: obviously they're.

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00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,200
Speaker 3: All difficult, but oh yeah, oh yeah, on a scale

385
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Speaker 3: of one to ten.

386
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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's really It was really interest when when you're

387
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:44,720
Speaker 4: going through relationships, especially when you're young in the public eye.

388
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,480
Speaker 4: I don't really get into all that stuff, but that

389
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 4: was hard for me. Like, I really really really loved Chris.

390
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,920
Speaker 4: We had a great relationship, and the things that got

391
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:59,800
Speaker 4: in the way for me of sort of growing together.

392
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,159
Speaker 4: I knew we could never grow together for the rest

393
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:09,120
Speaker 4: of our lives. Like he just fundamentally we saw our

394
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,080
Speaker 4: values were different in certain places that I would never

395
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:15,200
Speaker 4: have been able to stay on that train with him.

396
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Speaker 4: And he is exactly where he's supposed to be with

397
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Speaker 4: a beautiful wife, and I'm where I'm supposed to be.

398
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Speaker 4: But you know, even now when I look at Chris,

399
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,240
Speaker 4: I have so much deep love for him, Like he

400
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:29,520
Speaker 4: taught me everything about love. He loved me unconditionally, you know,

401
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:33,399
Speaker 4: and I think deep down still maybe does you know,

402
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,560
Speaker 4: but he really he taught me so much. But it

403
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:40,720
Speaker 4: just wasn't meant to be. We weren't meant to be together, right,

404
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,160
Speaker 4: I was through Type A for him.

405
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Speaker 1: I get it. And then you had Bang.

406
00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 4: Then I had Bang.

407
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:49,800
Speaker 1: So how old were you when you had.

408
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 4: Rider twenty three, twenty four With Rider.

409
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Speaker 1: I'm just so young, oh my god.

410
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:57,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

411
00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:01,720
Speaker 4: And then I was thirty one thirty with Bing, he

412
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,760
Speaker 4: was a happy oops. He was my little, my little

413
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:10,640
Speaker 4: like whoop, pregnant and he's just my little cuddly incredible. Oh,

414
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,920
Speaker 4: he's the best. Being is just I'm so proud of being.

415
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 4: He's so funny and so smart. He's like the kid

416
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,280
Speaker 4: that I had that I don't recognize, meaning like he's

417
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:24,280
Speaker 4: good at school, everything he does, he's he can sit

418
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,520
Speaker 4: and read for hours. He's almost twelve years old. No

419
00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:33,240
Speaker 4: learning disability. Everybody in my family is learning disability. Being

420
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,320
Speaker 4: just came out.

421
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Speaker 3: Well, but those are from Oliver, So I mean, that's

422
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 3: not anyone's fault about all these Really, I don't know.

423
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,920
Speaker 4: I don't know. It could be a Hudson hank real

424
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:48,320
Speaker 4: lineage thing. But you know, Ryder got all that I got,

425
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,119
Speaker 4: all that being being just came out like he is

426
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 4: just a rocket ship. He can do everything. And so

427
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,119
Speaker 4: I watch him and I see him he's all he

428
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,080
Speaker 4: already judges me. He already looks like she's really like

429
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:09,640
Speaker 4: underdeveloped mother. And then Ronnie, her little golden female that

430
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,000
Speaker 4: just balanced everything out in the house.

431
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,960
Speaker 3: And she's which I said to Kate last night, I'm like,

432
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,399
Speaker 3: what does it feel like to have a daughter that

433
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,119
Speaker 3: looks nothing like you?

434
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 6: My?

435
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,960
Speaker 4: And she just honestly like her. I stare at her

436
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,479
Speaker 4: sometimes and she's talking to me, and I'm just lost

437
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 4: in her, you know, mom, Mommy, And yes, I'm like

438
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,800
Speaker 4: looking at her just everything her and her nature is

439
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 4: so different than mine, you know, it's like I was like,

440
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,160
Speaker 4: so tough, she's very everything's about beauty, that she's all

441
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,120
Speaker 4: in the air. I mean sometimes she's so in this

442
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,720
Speaker 4: like beautiful world that she lives in that she runs.

443
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,920
Speaker 4: She literally runs right into things, you know, And I'm

444
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 4: like the person that like sees everything I could run

445
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,879
Speaker 4: into first, you know, is just all you know, soaks

446
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 4: everything in all about beauty. She even wakes up in

447
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 4: the morning. I mean, for when she was like could

448
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,239
Speaker 4: start talking, she'd wake up and like she'd look at

449
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 4: the sunset and go mine, so the sunset beautiful. I'd

450
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:16,359
Speaker 4: be like, yes, I have to slow everything down.

451
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 8: Run.

452
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:18,919
Speaker 1: Oh that's so sweet.

453
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's so fascinating to think about

454
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 3: all of the changes that you've gone through as a parent,

455
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,679
Speaker 3: right learning how to parent, and how your parenting has changed,

456
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 3: probably over all these years and the three children.

457
00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's weird because sometimes I when I'm really

458
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,120
Speaker 4: trying to be a witness, like I'm trying to figure

459
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,200
Speaker 4: out what I've done right, what I maybe could do better.

460
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,399
Speaker 4: I'm a much better parent now, like I have it down,

461
00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,120
Speaker 4: but I'm also a much more Sometimes I have these

462
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 4: anxieties that I didn't have when I was parenting writer.

463
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:56,359
Speaker 4: You know, I had this full, big, happy family, and

464
00:20:56,359 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 4: you're like, I just don't want anything to interrupt how

465
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,919
Speaker 4: good it is right now. So then you get all

466
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,919
Speaker 4: the anxiety. You get all the anxiety, whereas before I

467
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 4: never had those things. I just sort of was way

468
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 4: more spontaneous. So as I've gotten to become a better parent,

469
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 4: I've also kind of have different attachments that I'm also

470
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 4: now trying to like, you know, as I get older,

471
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 4: I want to, like, I kind of want to remember

472
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,680
Speaker 4: what it's like to have more freedom and more spontaneity,

473
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,800
Speaker 4: to let things be a little messy. It is interesting

474
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 4: how it changes, you know, and it does ebb and flow,

475
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,199
Speaker 4: and like, some things are better. And then as you

476
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 4: get older, I think you also can certain things become

477
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 4: a little too tight as a parent, you know.

478
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think the more aware we could become, it's

479
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,840
Speaker 3: like you get smarter and better at your job. But

480
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 3: then you also are you have are wise enough and

481
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 3: experienced enough to know that anything can change in a second,

482
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 3: so you want to protect what you have, Whereas I

483
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 3: think when we're younger, we're not as conscious about what

484
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,600
Speaker 3: we have in the first place, we kind of take

485
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 3: things for granted more, right, especially with your mom too,

486
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,560
Speaker 3: because obviously you guys have a very tight knit family,

487
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 3: and your relationship with her must have changed so much

488
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 3: when you had children.

489
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 4: I think so, I don't know, I mean, sometimes my mom,

490
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,879
Speaker 4: I'm like, I think you become more apologetic of your

491
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 4: own behaviors when you become a when you become a mother,

492
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,960
Speaker 4: to your parents, you're like, wow, like they didn't know

493
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 4: what they were doing either, you know, and I you

494
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 4: know must have been there have been times where I

495
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,919
Speaker 4: must have just drove them insane, especially all of her.

496
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 4: I mean I was actually good, you know, I wanted

497
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 4: them to be proud. All of her just wanted to

498
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 4: hide everything that he was up to. But now, yeah,

499
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,879
Speaker 4: I mean I think I think the relationship where it

500
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,919
Speaker 4: changes is that as you get older, you kind of

501
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 4: emulate the things that you really love about how you

502
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 4: grew up, and then you really want to walk away

503
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 4: from the things that you didn't. I think every parent

504
00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 4: has that moment when they're reflecting on there how they

505
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 4: were raised, you know.

506
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think whether you're a parent or not,

507
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 3: as you get older, you start to understand how you're

508
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 3: mimicking the very things that you couldn't stand growing up,

509
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 3: whether it's your mother's or father's behavior, because the mindset,

510
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 3: well this is a separate thought, but the mindset when

511
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 3: you're growing up is my parents are in charge, They're

512
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 3: in control, they know what's best, even though I disagree

513
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 3: with them most of the time in my case anyway.

514
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,960
Speaker 3: But then as you get older, and now that i'm

515
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,119
Speaker 3: my age, you know, older than my parents were when

516
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,719
Speaker 3: they had me, I'm like, they didn't know what the

517
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 3: fuck they were doing either, just like I barely knew

518
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 3: what I was doing. You know, you don't know what

519
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 3: you're doing until you're in your forties or fifties.

520
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 4: Sometimes I'm just not sure we really ever know what

521
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 4: we're doing, to be honest, because like the other day too,

522
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 4: it's like, now I'm in this place where I'm like,

523
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 4: you know what, I've got it figured out. And Writer,

524
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 4: now that writer is turning it as an adult. I mean,

525
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 4: he looks at me the way I looked at my parents, like,

526
00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,919
Speaker 4: you know what, this is my mom's issues. I'm not

527
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 4: going to feed into the Now I'm watching Writer do

528
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 4: that with me, and I'm like, whoa aren't I doing good?

529
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 4: How about it? He's like, Mom, this is I don't

530
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 4: think there's any parent in the world that's going to

531
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 4: get through raising their kids being anything but having that

532
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 4: thing where their kids goes. I don't want to be

533
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 4: anything like my parent. There's this, but I don't want

534
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,360
Speaker 4: any of that to be a part of what I'm

535
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 4: going to, like end up becoming as a parent. I

536
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 4: can see it and writer already He's like, yeah, I

537
00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 4: don't like that part of my mom, you know. And

538
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 4: You're like, oh god, I thought I was going to

539
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,400
Speaker 4: like win this one.

540
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that is true, right, just when you think

541
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 3: you have things sorted out. Even in relationships, you know,

542
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,119
Speaker 3: you're in a great relationship with your partner Danny for

543
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 3: and have been for many years now, and you were

544
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 3: also saying last night, you know how great this relationship

545
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 3: is for you, how you have space and he respects you,

546
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 3: and you guys have a great time together, and also

547
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 3: a healthy relationship when you're apart, and those things when

548
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:06,200
Speaker 3: they happen in our lives, there's just so much gratitude.

549
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 3: I feel like when I have somebody in my life

550
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 3: that I can be completely.

551
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: Myself with, I'm like, oh, this is such a nice gift.

552
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 4: It's the best. It's all about safety, isn't it. I mean,

553
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, like if you feel

554
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 4: that real, like yummy sense of safety, you feel so

555
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 4: much more freedom. Danny's the first relationship I've had where

556
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 4: I really feel free. Even though we're in a monogamous

557
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 4: intimate relationship, I don't feel any part of me that

558
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,679
Speaker 4: feels like I need to break out or feel like,

559
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,439
Speaker 4: you know, he gives me so much freedom and my

560
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 4: life and in the kind of world that we travel in,

561
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,200
Speaker 4: and we travel all over the world and we're meeting

562
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 4: incredibly interesting people and beautiful people. When you have someone

563
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 4: who has such a deep trust in you and gives

564
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 4: you so much freedom, it's just like it feels so nice.

565
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 4: It's like you never want to do anything to hurt it.

566
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 4: You know. He really is the first time I felt

567
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 4: that kind of safety. And I also think with Danny,

568
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 4: and I don't know if you felt this before in

569
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 4: any kind of relationship, but Danny has no interest in

570
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 4: being the center of attention of anything, Like he never

571
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,719
Speaker 4: wanted to be you know, a rock star or a

572
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:28,119
Speaker 4: famous painter or a famous writer or you know, an

573
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 4: actor like he never wanted to be in that spotlight.

574
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:36,199
Speaker 4: So when we're doing things together, like I could be

575
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 4: on a red carpet and I've never felt that thing

576
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 4: where I never had to worry about someone else or

577
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 4: feel like I was making sure that we were doing

578
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 4: something together, or that that it wasn't going to cause

579
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 4: any kind of friction or insecurity, Like I'll look around

580
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 4: for Danny, and Danny would be like talking to anybody,

581
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 4: and he's so happy, and I just there's something so

582
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 4: lovely about not having to be with anyone who feels

583
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 4: a sense of insecurity when you're the center. Even though

584
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 4: it's all bells and whistles and doesn't mean anything anyway,

585
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 4: it still can create I think a lot of insecurity

586
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 4: and men sometimes or women.

587
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 3: Well, especially in this industry, because you're coming up against

588
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,040
Speaker 3: the same thing. You know, if people are involved in

589
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,240
Speaker 3: the same business, it's like, obviously there's going to be

590
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 3: a little bit of conflict.

591
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 1: No matter how evolved you are. You can pretend, but

592
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:26,760
Speaker 1: it comes up.

593
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 3: I mean I've had to come up other you know,

594
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 3: all of my friends who have been dating other celebrities.

595
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 3: It comes up all the time. Whether you think you're

596
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 3: above it or beneath it or whatever.

597
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:37,720
Speaker 4: There are moments where it's like, when is it my

598
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 4: turn to be at the center of what's happening for

599
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 4: my partner right now? You can't Sometimes you just can't

600
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 4: help but feel like, wow, it's happening to them, like

601
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,440
Speaker 4: how do I always just it becomes a sensitive insecurity,

602
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 4: It becomes a conversation piece. It becomes like I'm trying

603
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 4: so hard to make this happen, and it can just

604
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 4: like eat away at any relationship where you're in the

605
00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 4: same field. I think it can be challenging.

606
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, on that note, we're gonna take a couple

607
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 3: of calls. Okay, we're gonna give people advice. That's what

608
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 3: we do on this podcast. So put your therapy hat on.

609
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,119
Speaker 1: I know you have it. We're gonna take a quick break.

610
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 1: I will be right back, and we're back.

611
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 5: We are well. Our first email comes from Betts. She writes,

612
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 5: Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty two year old woman with

613
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,480
Speaker 5: a thirteen year old daughter who's in the seventh grade.

614
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,640
Speaker 5: I've always given my daughter a ton of credit because

615
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,120
Speaker 5: I was, in fact a teen mom and I never

616
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 5: really had my shit together up until the past handful

617
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 5: of years. Recently, we've started a new school at a

618
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 5: new district while making a move to live back with

619
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 5: my parents, and my job requires so much of my

620
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 5: time that my parents do all the running for my kids,

621
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 5: thus making this most logical decision for my family.

622
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 2: Since moving, my daughter has basically spiraled.

623
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 5: I allowed her to get Snapchat after waiting for so long,

624
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 5: and she ruined it within a week as I caught

625
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 5: her having sexually charged conversations with strangers. This past weekend,

626
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 5: she had a school dance, and after doing some very

627
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 5: light monitoring, I noticed she had been having a conversation

628
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 5: with a classmate about weed. I decided to drug test her,

629
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 5: and sure enough, she was positive for THHC. And although

630
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 5: I'm not anti marijuana, I feel like she's way too young.

631
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 5: Sometimes when I find myself up in her business, I

632
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 5: hear your voice, Chelsea in the back of my head,

633
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 5: reminding me I don't own her and that she's her

634
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 5: own individual self. But I still feel like she's too young.

635
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 5: My biggest fear is that she'll get caught up with

636
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 5: the wrong crowd. And eventually moved to taking pills. Hell

637
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 5: I didn't wind up pregnant in high school because I

638
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,959
Speaker 5: was a good kid. But the amount of fentanel related

639
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 5: deaths in our stupid ass midwestern city is astronomical. What

640
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 5: are your thoughts on keeping herself aware and safe while

641
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 5: becoming her individual self? Side note she started therapy literally

642
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 5: two days before the discovery of this newest incident.

643
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: Bets Kate, I'm gonna let you take this as a parent.

644
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 4: Well, I'm just really impressed that she's she hears you.

645
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 4: When it comes to her parents, I'm no shit. WHOA Okay, Well,

646
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 4: there's a lot to say. One, I didn't hear anything

647
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 4: about dad, so I'm.

648
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 2: Not exactly sure what the deal is with dad.

649
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 5: She says that they split when her daughter was one,

650
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 5: but they get along great. I'm just not sure if

651
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 5: he lives nearby or any of that stuff.

652
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 4: Okay, So I think I can really relate to this

653
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 4: because that's a really really challenging thing when you are

654
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 4: going through when you start to go through puberty as

655
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 4: a girl. Who who It doesn't even it doesn't even

656
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 4: matter if you have a stepfather, because I had a

657
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 4: great stepdad. Kurt's the best. When you have dealt with

658
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 4: that kind of abandonment and what really feels like a rejection.

659
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:56,920
Speaker 4: The individuation from mom becomes pretty intense during puberty. Well said,

660
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 4: and so I I think she's going through probably massive

661
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 4: hormonal time, you know, And I'm glad she's going to therapy.

662
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 4: Number one, I would be like, there has to be

663
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 4: open conversations about dad, and she needs to start feeling

664
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 4: like she is worthy of being a great, healthy, beautiful

665
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 4: young girl who doesn't need to appease boys or party

666
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 4: to like seeing cool or any of those things. And

667
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,840
Speaker 4: then she just needs the information, you know. I think

668
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 4: like kids in weed is not great, Like you got

669
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 4: to grow your brain. There's so much research on this,

670
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 4: Like you start smoking weed too young, too much, it's

671
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 4: gonna fuck your brain up and it just ages your brain,

672
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 4: doesn't allow it to develop properly if you're too young

673
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:53,240
Speaker 4: and you don't give it the right development time, especially

674
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,959
Speaker 4: during puberty. And then there's the other thing, which is

675
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 4: to say to mom, like we all were there. So

676
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 4: we were all at that time. I'm in middle school

677
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 4: where people were experimenting and looking at you know. Now

678
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 4: we have the snapchat and we have the thing, like

679
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 4: we were all flirting and we were like trying to

680
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 4: be sexy and girls were trying to figure out what

681
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 4: that looked like on them. And it is the time

682
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 4: where you experiment with those things, so you want to

683
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 4: remember what it was like for you, which I feel

684
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 4: like she does, and then take that fucking Snapchat off

685
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 4: of their phone. I just think that social media for

686
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 4: kids that aren't wait till they're in ninth grade, like,

687
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 4: wait till they're a little bit older, like they just

688
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 4: the research is so heavy on this now. It's terrible

689
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 4: for kids. It's terrible. So I'm not, like, I will

690
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 4: not allow my son to get Snapchat when he gets

691
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 4: his phone. I won't allow him to get Instagram. I

692
00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 4: won't allow him to get TikTok until he's fifty team.

693
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 4: You can fuck around with it with someone else's phone, fine,

694
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 4: but not he won't have it on his phone. And

695
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 4: I'm really strict about that.

696
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're strict.

697
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 2: I like that.

698
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 3: And I also think all you can do as a

699
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 3: parent is a set boundaries and over communicate. The best

700
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 3: parents I see are the people who actually have open

701
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 3: dialogues with their children. And I know your daughter probably

702
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 3: sounds like she's in a place that she doesn't want

703
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 3: to hear you talking to her about it because she

704
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 3: probably thinks she knows better.

705
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 1: But everything Kay said is perfect.

706
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 3: She's hormonal, she's growing, she's experimenting, she's looking around like ooh,

707
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 3: am I interested in that. It's all fucking completely normal.

708
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,920
Speaker 3: The only things that you can control are like the

709
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 3: guardrails that you put up and getting rid of Snapchat.

710
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 3: She'll probably try and start a fake account, but it's

711
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 3: worth getting rid of and making sure that she understands

712
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 3: that if she does have a fake account, there are

713
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 3: going to be repercussions for that. And being in therapy

714
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 3: is great, thank god, because all she needs is the

715
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 3: information about what this is going to do.

716
00:33:57,640 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: What you can't smoke pot when you're thirteen years old.

717
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: It doesn't work that way.

718
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 3: Your brain has to develop and otherwise you're going to

719
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 3: pay the price for a really long time. And you

720
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 3: should put that information in front of her, you know,

721
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 3: and not necessarily. I don't know, Kate, what do you

722
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 3: think about, you know, being a parent versus being a friend,

723
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 3: Like I think that's a very gray area with a

724
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 3: lot of parents, where people try to be their kids' friends,

725
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 3: and I think it's important during these kinds of times

726
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 3: to really be a parent.

727
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I really try to talk to my

728
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 4: kids when it comes to drugs and it comes to sex,

729
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 4: Like I really get very clinical, and I come from

730
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 4: a place of like what for me is a parent

731
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 4: and what I wish for them in their life, the

732
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 4: seriousness of it, and that it might seem now that

733
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 4: it's like fine, but what I've experienced and my friends

734
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 4: of mine that have gone down certain paths and being

735
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 4: really really brutal and open with them about it. You know,

736
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 4: I've lost friends to drugs. It's been terrible and I've

737
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,879
Speaker 4: it and you watch it happen. And also like how

738
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 4: much you love your kids. I remember when I was

739
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 4: a teenager, like I love my mom so much. My

740
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 4: hormones and where I was at I had moments where

741
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 4: I just couldn't stand her. And it's not it wasn't personal.

742
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:23,440
Speaker 4: It literally was my hormones, a function of me wanting

743
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 4: to be my own person and my psychology and all

744
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 4: the things that were happening at that moment, and my

745
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 4: mom's love and consistency in being there talking to me,

746
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 4: communicating is what ends up showing actively what that love

747
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 4: looks like. You know.

748
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I also think you should also treat this

749
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 3: what's her name again, bet sets like this is a

750
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 3: time in your life, like it's not the rest of

751
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 3: your life. She's just going through a time in her

752
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 3: life right now, and so you have to parent differently

753
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 3: during this time in order just to help guide her,

754
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,240
Speaker 3: you know. And you can also set up like stepping

755
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 3: stones for her to earn your trust, you know, so

756
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 3: that she's to act responsibly. So when she acts responsibly,

757
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:04,839
Speaker 3: then she can be on social media when you can

758
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,080
Speaker 3: monitor her account and see that she's not talking about

759
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 3: drugs or sex or things that you're not comfortable with

760
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 3: yet as a parent of a thirteen year old girl,

761
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,719
Speaker 3: which is totally acceptable. You can't control a thirteen year old.

762
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 3: I mean, you're her parent at thirteen years old. That's

763
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 3: still your role. And when I say like you don't

764
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 3: own your children, I mean that in a larger sense.

765
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 3: I think as a thirteen year old girl, you are

766
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 3: in charge of her. You don't own her, no, but

767
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,400
Speaker 3: you are in control of the way she's going to

768
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 3: be directed. And so you just take that part really

769
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 3: seriously in this sensitive time which is puberty, and you're

770
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 3: not alone everyone is dealing with the same thing with

771
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 3: a thirteen year old girl, you know, if not exactly

772
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:42,399
Speaker 3: the same thing.

773
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: I heard a.

774
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,919
Speaker 4: Great piece of advice where someone said, like, we don't

775
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,800
Speaker 4: need tough love, like the world presents us with tough

776
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:52,479
Speaker 4: and I was raised with a lot of tough love.

777
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 4: When I heard that, I was like, that's a really

778
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 4: interesting approach when you say boundaries, Like there's a way

779
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 4: to set boundaries that don't feel like you're coming down

780
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 4: on your kids, but really feel like we need to

781
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 4: meet each other as our kids get older. I remember

782
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 4: saying a rider our relationship will change. My love for

783
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 4: you never change is but our relationship and the mutual

784
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 4: respect that needs to start happening changes as you become

785
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 4: as you get older. And if we can't meet each other,

786
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 4: there's we're going to have a complicated relationship. And I

787
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 4: have boundaries, and if this is going to be smooth,

788
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 4: then we got to be able to talk these things out,

789
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 4: and that I think is the best, the only thing

790
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 4: you can do. You know.

791
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like the idea of not looking at boundaries

792
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 3: as a punishment, but actually as like an encouragement, like, Okay,

793
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 3: you know, if you meet all of these criteria. Then

794
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 3: you're going to have more freedom to make your own

795
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,000
Speaker 3: decisions once you prove to me that you're making sound

796
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 3: decisions and responsible decisions for your health and your safety,

797
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:53,040
Speaker 3: et cetera.

798
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 2: It's a reward system.

799
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, like a reward system. It doesn't have to be like, no,

800
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 3: you're a bad girl. It's like, look, if you do this,

801
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 3: you can get this, you know, and after time of

802
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 3: watching her mature, which you will, like, don't worry, you're

803
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 3: gonna be fine. You've got her in therapy. You've done

804
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 3: all the right things. So just be very you know,

805
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 3: conscious of making sure you're over communicating all the time,

806
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 3: whether she wants to or not, you're available for it

807
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 3: if she ever needs you. So that's the message you

808
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 3: get across when you're always showing up for someone, is

809
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 3: that when they do need you, you'll be there.

810
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 4: So parenting is hard.

811
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: And that's why I've chosen not to do it and

812
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 1: participate in that.

813
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 4: It's not an easy job. Our kids challenge us so

814
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 4: deeply and profoundly. They also know how to pick and

815
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 4: poke at all your weak spots. They see it, even

816
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 4: if they don't even know that they're seeing it. They know.

817
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 4: I think the other thing is that our kids are

818
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 4: our teachers. When we see our kids going through something,

819
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 4: we also need to reflect back on ourselves. You know,

820
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 4: they've moved, she's moved. She must feel destabilizing for her.

821
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 4: She's acting out, and so I think mom too has

822
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 4: to look and go like, what am I doing that's

823
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 4: contributing to that.

824
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I wanted to touch on the fentanyl concern. You know,

825
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 5: there are those fentanyl test strips that are out there,

826
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 5: and you know, on the one hand, it feels like

827
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 5: providing your child with that could be sort of seen

828
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 5: as you're saying, like, go ahead, do whatever you want

829
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 5: with pills whatever. On the other hand, like it's a

830
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 5: real concern. What are your thoughts about about fentyl and safety?

831
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: Oh god, I don't know, okay about that.

832
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,400
Speaker 4: I a part of me just feels bad that kids

833
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 4: can't live in the world that we did when we experimented,

834
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 4: you know, you know, where we didn't have this issue.

835
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,400
Speaker 4: You were like, oh, well, I guess we'll try it.

836
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,319
Speaker 4: You know, I was like, you weren't afraid that like

837
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 4: that you could die and had to carry around like

838
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 4: narcam and have fentanyl strips. I mean, I've heard crazy

839
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 4: story Like the other day is my son. We're talking

840
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 4: about these kids that had fentanyl strips and they thought

841
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 4: that it was fine and they one of them ended

842
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 4: up Odin's fentanyl in it, and oh, really terrible. Yeah,

843
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 4: and you're like, this is at the end of the day,

844
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,160
Speaker 4: we're just living. I I just say to my kids,

845
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 4: just don't do it. Just don't fucking do it.

846
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not it doesn't seem worth it anymore. I

847
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,359
Speaker 3: feel badly like I grew up in a time where

848
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,120
Speaker 3: you could try anything and it was pretty much going

849
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 3: to be fine.

850
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: But it's not like that anymore.

851
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 3: And you know, it's a bummer because you do want

852
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 3: to experiment and have a little fun, but you can't

853
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 3: do that.

854
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,360
Speaker 1: It's just not worth the risk at this point.

855
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how I see it now.

856
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 3: It's like I do feel like giving somebody a fence

857
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:27,319
Speaker 3: and all strip is permissive, it's right saying okay, well

858
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,400
Speaker 3: if you do it, then yeah, I don't know.

859
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: I would feel weird about that as a parrot.

860
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially that young that's young kid.

861
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 5: Well that's all from bets, but let's jump to our

862
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 5: first collar. Monica Rights, Dear Chelsea. I'm thirty six years

863
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 5: old and have been with my partner for two and

864
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 5: a half years. When we decided to become exclusive, I

865
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 5: asked him where he stood on having kids. He said

866
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,840
Speaker 5: he was indifferent. He'd be happy with or without kids.

867
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 2: I was clear with.

868
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,360
Speaker 5: Him that I want children. All was good on that front,

869
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,399
Speaker 5: so we moved ahead. About a year in, he told

870
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 5: me he actually wasn't so sure about having kids. He

871
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 5: realized he hadn't really thought about it that much when

872
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,480
Speaker 5: I first asked him, and now he's having second thoughts.

873
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 5: I was devastated. Our relationship has been amazing so far,

874
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 5: and we decided to move in together. Per my request,

875
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 5: we started couples counseling to help with that transition. In

876
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,560
Speaker 5: counseling and with his own counselor, he came to the

877
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 5: conclusion that his doubts about kids were rooted in fears

878
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 5: he had from his prayer marriage and conservative Christian upbringing.

879
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,560
Speaker 5: Thank Jesus, he's no longer religious or married. I'm delighted

880
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 5: that he is back on board with having kids now.

881
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 5: The problem is adoption has long been a dream of mine.

882
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 5: He knows this, but it's not a deal breaker. For me,

883
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 5: not wanting kids at all is a deal breaker. Over

884
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 5: the last year or so, I began to realize how

885
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,920
Speaker 5: important adopting is to me for so many reasons. My

886
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 5: partner does not want to adopt, and he's adamant. When

887
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:53,919
Speaker 5: I've asked why, he just says he's not interested. I've

888
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 5: tried to respect his wishes, but I'm not ready to

889
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 5: let it rest. Where do I go from here? I'm

890
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 5: afraid to keep probing the top back as I don't

891
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:02,760
Speaker 5: feel like I have a good idea of other questions

892
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 5: to ask or what to say to convey how important

893
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 5: this is to me. Please help Monica.

894
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 1: Hi Monica, Hello, Hi Monica, Hi Monica. This is our

895
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:19,399
Speaker 1: special guest, Kate Hudson today. Hello, Hi Kate, Hi Chelsea, Hi, Kutie, Okay, Kate, Kate.

896
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 1: It's passionate. So I'm gonna let Kate go first.

897
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:23,839
Speaker 4: Well, first of all, there's a lot unpacked here, because

898
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:25,879
Speaker 4: it sounds like there's like you, you know, you guys

899
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 4: haven't been on the same page for meant for a

900
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,160
Speaker 4: lot of years. It's like goes back and forth with

901
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 4: the whole kid thing. But there's also I mean, just

902
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 4: simply you can also have babies on your own. Yeah,

903
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 4: if adoption is your life's purpose and you want to

904
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 4: do that as much as you love him, you need

905
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 4: to go adopt a child and have and you'll never

906
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 4: regret it, I'll tell you that.

907
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 8: Yeah, but you will.

908
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 4: Regret being with someone where you to feel like you're

909
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:54,760
Speaker 4: not doing something that you're meant to be doing. Yeah,

910
00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 4: that's how I feel about it. I mean, you know,

911
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 4: really simply like if someone loves you and you're in

912
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 4: it together, like then you figure out how to do

913
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 4: it together. And if you're not on the same page,

914
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 4: you're never going to be on the same page about that.

915
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, those are great points. It's interesting you brought up,

916
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 6: you know, being able to do it on my own

917
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,880
Speaker 6: before this relationship. You know, many years ago, I was

918
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 6: very concerned about finding a partner at all, and I

919
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 6: was like, I'm getting too old to start a family.

920
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 6: And I finally came to the point where I accepted

921
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 6: and was okay with and happy with the reality that

922
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,239
Speaker 6: I could go out and adopt children on my own

923
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:35,040
Speaker 6: and still live a full and happy life. So yeah,

924
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 6: it's interesting you bring up that point.

925
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 3: Which is a very salient point because instinctively, I was thinking, like, oh,

926
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 3: he was already on the fence about having kids. You

927
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 3: convinced him to do that through therapy, and now you're

928
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 3: throwing another wrench at him.

929
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 1: It feels slightly unfair for you to be putting that.

930
00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 3: You know, you're kind of moving the goal posts for him,

931
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,839
Speaker 3: even though they've been your goalposts. It feels like it's

932
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 3: unfair to him for that. So I but I think

933
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 3: Katie's right, like, you're never going to regret a child.

934
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 3: Nobody regrets having children, you know what I mean. But

935
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 3: you will resent to somebody for stopping your dreams to

936
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 3: come into full bloom.

937
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 1: And that's very valid.

938
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 3: And if you think that's something that you can't live

939
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 3: without doing without adoption, then you absolutely need to let

940
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:22,880
Speaker 3: him know that and and prepare to leave the relationship

941
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 3: if he doesn't change his mind.

942
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:28,799
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, that's that's a great point. It's it's you know,

943
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:31,839
Speaker 6: everything is really great aside from this one thing that's

944
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 6: kind of unresolved, and the idea of leaving him is

945
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 6: really hard because I love him so much. Do you

946
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,560
Speaker 6: think you know the idea of the moving goalpost? Do

947
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 6: you feel like this is a conversation that's fair to

948
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 6: have with him to like hope that he gets there,

949
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 6: Like if i'm you know.

950
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 3: Well, you have to have the conversation because this is

951
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 3: what you want. But did you convey this early on

952
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 3: in your relationship that you were into adoption or is

953
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:55,439
Speaker 3: this a newer feeling that you've had.

954
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,720
Speaker 6: I definitely conveyed it within the first year. I don't

955
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 6: recall that I brought it up when I first told

956
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 6: him that I definitely want kids. That was very very

957
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 6: early on when I said that. In hindsight, I wish

958
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 6: I would have brought up adoption then as well. But yeah,

959
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 6: he's known about it for a while, and it's only

960
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 6: been more recently, like in the last I don't know,

961
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 6: maybe six months or so that he has said, you

962
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 6: know where I've kind of asked him again. I brought

963
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 6: it up at least a second time, and he's like, yeah,

964
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:30,439
Speaker 6: I don't think that's something I want to do, And yeah,

965
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,359
Speaker 6: I guess I'm not sure how to bring this up

966
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:35,879
Speaker 6: again when all he's given me is I don't want

967
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,760
Speaker 6: to do that. I'm just not interested. Yeah, I'm curious

968
00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 6: like how to get like to what's underneath that my.

969
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 4: Therapist always says, you know, when you change, then everything

970
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 4: starts changing around you, you know, because at the end

971
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,359
Speaker 4: of the day, this is really more about you than

972
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 4: it is about him. I think you need to be

973
00:45:56,600 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 4: really clear about what you want first. It's not that

974
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 4: you know, if you really want to have an adopt

975
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 4: if you have the means obviously really important to bring

976
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 4: and to pay for a child on your own, and

977
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 4: that something that is really important to you is adoption,

978
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,839
Speaker 4: then you need to like really lean into that as

979
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 4: something that you need to do in your life. And

980
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 4: the more sure you are, then you'll see it will

981
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 4: reveal itself.

982
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, and people do warm up to ideas, you know.

983
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 5: I don't think it's like, Okay, we have to talk

984
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 5: about this once and decide, Like if you're bringing it

985
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 5: up on occasion and talking to him about how important

986
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,399
Speaker 5: it is to you, how much you love the idea,

987
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,400
Speaker 5: like he may warm to the idea.

988
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 1: Well, let me ask you a question, Monica, is it

989
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:47,120
Speaker 1: a deal breaker?

990
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 3: Like if you want adoption is more important than your relationship,

991
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:52,440
Speaker 3: I mean, sorry to put it that way, but that's

992
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 3: pretty much what it comes down to.

993
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:57,919
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, and that's kind of something I'm trying

994
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 6: to decide where I do think I need to figure

995
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,840
Speaker 6: out where I stand on this issue, whether it's a

996
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:06,319
Speaker 6: deal breaker or not. I previously thought just you know,

997
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 6: not wanting kids was a deal breaker and that I

998
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 6: could compromise on the adoption thing. But the more that

999
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 6: I've thought about it in the last year or so,

1000
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 6: I'm realizing that it I don't know. I'm not to

1001
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 6: the point yet where I want to call it a

1002
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 6: deal breaker, but it is very important to me, and

1003
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 6: I would be sad to give up that dream.

1004
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 4: Right.

1005
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:26,480
Speaker 1: Well, I think what you can do is, do you

1006
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 1: guys go to a couples counseling at all?

1007
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 6: We have we're not currently, but we were earlier this year.

1008
00:47:32,560 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 3: Well, you might want to enlist a counselor to kind

1009
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 3: of talk about it with you, because it's always better

1010
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 3: to have a third party, I think. But I think

1011
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 3: there's a very natural, sweet way you can bring it

1012
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 3: up without putting It's not like you're ending the relationship,

1013
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:45,279
Speaker 3: but you're introducing the idea that this is something that's

1014
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,480
Speaker 3: really become more and more important to you. Maybe you

1015
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 3: didn't even realize how important it was, the adoption and

1016
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,200
Speaker 3: you're at a time in your life where you're really thinking, like,

1017
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,240
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm going to be complete without

1018
00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 3: doing this, And I just need you to know that

1019
00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 3: this is how I'm feeling, and I would love for

1020
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 3: you to change your mind, but I'm also not here

1021
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 3: to make you change your mind.

1022
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: Like if you're not on board, and I have to

1023
00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:06,839
Speaker 1: respect that.

1024
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:08,799
Speaker 3: You have to respect his decision as well as you

1025
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 3: have as you're respecting your own decision, you know, whatever

1026
00:48:11,640 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 3: that ends up being, and give him the room to

1027
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 3: think about it and like soak in the idea of

1028
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 3: what might that look like as your future. And that

1029
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 3: way you're giving each other room in space to breathe

1030
00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 3: and contemplate a decision and a new life and all

1031
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:30,280
Speaker 3: of that of those things without saying this, you better

1032
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 3: do this or I'm leaving you know what I mean.

1033
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be like that.

1034
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 4: Do you guys live together? You live together?

1035
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 6: Yeah, we do.

1036
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 4: I mean that there's also like you could just be like,

1037
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 4: I really love you, I want to keep seeing you.

1038
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,839
Speaker 4: I'm going to adopt I'm a baby. I'm gonna get

1039
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 4: in my own house, and you don't have to raise

1040
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 4: this baby with me, but you know, I don't want

1041
00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 4: to end it. Yeah, yeah, see what happened, you know.

1042
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:52,839
Speaker 3: What I mean?

1043
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:56,320
Speaker 1: I like that option. That's a great option. Yeah.

1044
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 6: When he was uncertain about kids, my counselor suggested something

1045
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 6: I thought, you know, just you know, you can live separately,

1046
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 6: raise a child and still be together, which is something

1047
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 6: that I still I don't know. I haven't been able

1048
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 6: to fully wrap my head around, because I do want to,

1049
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:11,800
Speaker 6: you know, have a partner in a you know, a

1050
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 6: more traditional family. Yeah, but yeah, I mean that is

1051
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:15,879
Speaker 6: that is an.

1052
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 4: Option that I should give some more thought. Truth is

1053
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 4: the second, the second it starts happening. You know, if

1054
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,400
Speaker 4: you guys really love each other, he's probably just going

1055
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 4: to be all over that child.

1056
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 3: And you know, I'm thinking the same thing. I think

1057
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,480
Speaker 3: that that that. I think that's a good move. That's

1058
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 3: a good sideways move.

1059
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:35,520
Speaker 1: I like that. We don't usually give sideways advice, or

1060
00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:37,640
Speaker 1: actually we probably do unknowingly.

1061
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 4: I've ever done is sideways.

1062
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 3: So yeah, think about think outside the box, you know

1063
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 3: what I mean. You're thinking about everything has to be

1064
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 3: in this perfect little unit. It doesn't necessarily have to.

1065
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 1: Be that way.

1066
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 3: We live in modern times in some states, so you can,

1067
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 3: you know, chart your own course.

1068
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 1: And you should definitely be a mother.

1069
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 3: I can tell by your whole aura and energy that

1070
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:01,480
Speaker 3: you're a maternal and you should live that dream out,

1071
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:01,839
Speaker 3: you know.

1072
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:02,680
Speaker 6: Thank you.

1073
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:04,279
Speaker 1: You're very motherly. I can see it.

1074
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 8: Thank you.

1075
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:08,960
Speaker 4: I just think that that's so amazing because there's so

1076
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 4: there's so many kids that need homes, and I have

1077
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,319
Speaker 4: so many friends who've adopted, and it's just it's just

1078
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:18,280
Speaker 4: the best, and it's just you know everything.

1079
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 5: So yeah, and of course having your own kid doesn't

1080
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 5: preclude you from adopting Monica. You know, you might have

1081
00:50:24,640 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 5: a kid together, adopt and have another kid later.

1082
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:29,320
Speaker 3: That's a great way to trap him, have the baby together,

1083
00:50:29,520 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 3: and then adopt the baby.

1084
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:31,720
Speaker 6: Perfect.

1085
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 1: You will know what the fuck hit him. He'll be like,

1086
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 1: whoa whoopsie doodle.

1087
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 8: How'd I end up here?

1088
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 2: Thank you so much?

1089
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 1: Good luck with everything you post it?

1090
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 6: Okay, we'll do bye bye.

1091
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: Okay bye. You just reminded me to drink my water.

1092
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:52,120
Speaker 8: Yeah, so fun.

1093
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 1: I know, it's so fun.

1094
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 4: Through this on my podcast is Oliver. I'm gonna steal this.

1095
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,799
Speaker 1: K Kate's podcast is called Sibling Revelry. If you guys

1096
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:00,400
Speaker 1: have heard it.

1097
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,360
Speaker 3: I was on there with my sister as her the

1098
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,719
Speaker 3: first episode of her first episode.

1099
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 4: I loved it. Oh my god, your sister's.

1100
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 1: The Okay, we have one more state. We have time

1101
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:10,719
Speaker 1: for the last one.

1102
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:12,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. Should we take a quick break and we'll come

1103
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:13,160
Speaker 2: back for our last college.

1104
00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 1: Sure, we'll take a quick break. We're back.

1105
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:19,760
Speaker 2: We're back.

1106
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:26,839
Speaker 5: Julia is calling in from the woods somewhere, so I'll

1107
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 5: give you the quick and dirty. She really needs some

1108
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 5: unbiased advice.

1109
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 2: She's got a couple of kids, I believe.

1110
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:35,720
Speaker 5: Around seven and nine, and they live near a city

1111
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:40,440
Speaker 5: in Canada, but they're really thinking about moving up north,

1112
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 5: kind of in the middle of nowhere, get out in

1113
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 5: the country.

1114
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,319
Speaker 2: Raise their kids, be a little more rural.

1115
00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 5: Yeah so, but she's truly torn because her mom and

1116
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 5: other family and friends are in the area that she

1117
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 5: currently lives in, and she thinks her mom is going

1118
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 5: to be really totally devastated if they were to move.

1119
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 5: She says, please, Chelsea, don't say if you're asking you

1120
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 5: already the answer like you do a lot, because I

1121
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 5: truly don't know what to do and feel split down

1122
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 5: the middle. So she's calling us from a cabin in

1123
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 5: the woods, but not the one they may be moving to.

1124
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 1: Hi Hi Jilli, Hi, Hi are you inca?

1125
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 8: Oh my god, I'm so close.

1126
00:52:16,840 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 9: Yes, I'm not right there, but we passed through it

1127
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 9: actually to go where we are.

1128
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:24,280
Speaker 4: I grew up in Muskoke. I grew up going every summer.

1129
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 8: Oh my god, your parents still go there.

1130
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 4: No, No, we sold the house and everything.

1131
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 9: But yeah, you guys are like the talk of the

1132
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:33,520
Speaker 9: town up here.

1133
00:52:33,719 --> 00:52:39,000
Speaker 4: It's the most beautiful country. Honestly, it's just the best.

1134
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 4: I miss it so much, so I know why you

1135
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:41,759
Speaker 4: want to move.

1136
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 8: Yeah.

1137
00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's tricky because it is so beautiful and you

1138
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:49,640
Speaker 9: see the value of living like that and raising kids

1139
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:51,880
Speaker 9: in that environment, right, Yeah, Like I get that, but

1140
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 9: there's so many other factors that it makes it hurt.

1141
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:55,760
Speaker 8: It's harder than it seems.

1142
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:58,880
Speaker 4: How long is the drive? Are you like two hours

1143
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 4: or you long? It would be No.

1144
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 9: We are just north of Toronto, so we are about

1145
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 9: four We're past from Scoco. We're actually on Manitulin Island,

1146
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 9: so it's like four or five hours.

1147
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 4: Okay, So it's a long it's a long drive, yeah.

1148
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 3: But it's not yeah, like it's not like undoable. I

1149
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 3: mean four or five hours. People do that on the

1150
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 3: weekends all the time.

1151
00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:19,080
Speaker 1: I mean, I know.

1152
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 9: I think that's the thing is I'm so conflicted with like,

1153
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:23,839
Speaker 9: it's not a big deal. It's not like we're moving

1154
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,040
Speaker 9: to the other side of the world. But some people

1155
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:28,439
Speaker 9: will respond in that way as if we are moving

1156
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 9: to the other side of it.

1157
00:53:29,239 --> 00:53:31,280
Speaker 3: But this is your fucking life. What are you doing.

1158
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 3: You can't let other people direct what you're gonna do.

1159
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 3: You're not moving to another country, You're moving five hours away.

1160
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 3: And while that might be a hard pill to swallow

1161
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,840
Speaker 3: in the beginning, everyone will adjust that this is not

1162
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 3: a breakup.

1163
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,759
Speaker 4: And you know, but I have the same issue. Can

1164
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 4: I just like totally relate to this because I live

1165
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 4: seven blocks from my mom, My brother is two minutes

1166
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:57,000
Speaker 4: literally literally two minutes down the street. My other brother

1167
00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:59,520
Speaker 4: is eight, and I'm always like, I don't want to

1168
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 4: live in Last Angelus. I don't LA doesn't move me,

1169
00:54:03,719 --> 00:54:07,719
Speaker 4: and I can't move. I'm like, I would be it

1170
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,560
Speaker 4: would be devastating to all of us if want, like

1171
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 4: we have to move as this pack and if I don't,

1172
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:17,319
Speaker 4: then like you're like something's wrong with you.

1173
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 9: Yeah, oh, my god, you are literally describing the dynamic

1174
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 9: of the whole situation because while like I understand it,

1175
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 9: and I could see it, and I probably like we

1176
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:28,960
Speaker 9: could find somewhere that's like comfortable with both of us,

1177
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:30,360
Speaker 9: Like I don't want to be too rural out in

1178
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,840
Speaker 9: the hicks, but like somewhere kind of middle ground that

1179
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 9: we're all happy with, and it's like good for our

1180
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 9: kids and stuff. But my mom will lose her mind

1181
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 9: because these are her only grandkids and that's her livelihood.

1182
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:44,400
Speaker 9: Her whole life revolves around my kids.

1183
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 1: And so with you, yeah, she.

1184
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 8: Will never move up here. No, she will never move

1185
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:49,839
Speaker 8: up here.

1186
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:52,320
Speaker 9: And like she hates driving, like if it's like literally

1187
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 9: like if there's a if it snows, she won't drive.

1188
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 9: If it rains, she won't drive. If it's nighttime, she

1189
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,920
Speaker 9: won't drive, Like she so it's so hard for her

1190
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:01,440
Speaker 9: to like for appl well, I'm four.

1191
00:55:01,239 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 4: And a half hours in northern Toronto in the winter is.

1192
00:55:04,840 --> 00:55:06,360
Speaker 8: Brutal, it's brutal.

1193
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 9: So it's like I'd have to like go and pick

1194
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:09,840
Speaker 9: her up and bring her back, like she's retired, so

1195
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:11,840
Speaker 9: she could stay with us for a long periods of

1196
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 9: time and have nice visits and stuff, but I just

1197
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,840
Speaker 9: know that, like having that conversation will be a disaster.

1198
00:55:16,960 --> 00:55:21,279
Speaker 9: It'll be like devastating her and you're leaving me and

1199
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:21,719
Speaker 9: all this.

1200
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 8: Stuff, and she's sixty seven, like she's still young.

1201
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:27,200
Speaker 4: Well why don't you do it for a couple of

1202
00:55:27,239 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 4: years and see what happens?

1203
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,439
Speaker 9: I guess yeah, because my husband's I feel like once

1204
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:33,319
Speaker 9: we go, we're never going to come back though, because

1205
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 9: my husband loves it up here and he's like, I'm

1206
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:36,520
Speaker 9: sick of overliving.

1207
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,239
Speaker 8: I hate it. I've sacrificed and lived there for you.

1208
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:42,719
Speaker 9: Like we've done this, now, let's have another chapter, let's

1209
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 9: try something new. And part of me is like, am

1210
00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:47,359
Speaker 9: I making a big deal my being a spoiled brat

1211
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:48,640
Speaker 9: and just like not want to do it because I

1212
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 9: don't like change? Or should I just suck it up

1213
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:52,360
Speaker 9: and do it? Or is it my gut telling me

1214
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:54,000
Speaker 9: not to do it? Like I have so many and

1215
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,319
Speaker 9: like friends are like you can't leave your mother, and like, yes,

1216
00:55:56,360 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 9: you should move, Like I'm so conflicted that I literally

1217
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 9: don't got a standstill because I don't know what to do.

1218
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 3: I honestly, I really think you have to just go

1219
00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:07,920
Speaker 3: do what's right for you and your family, And I

1220
00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,120
Speaker 3: think your mother will adjust and the conversation will be

1221
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,799
Speaker 3: very difficult initially, but I think you'll be surprised by

1222
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 3: how quickly she turns around and starts driving long distances

1223
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:19,279
Speaker 3: and starts spending more time with you and contemplates even

1224
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:21,799
Speaker 3: you know, spending maybe months at a time with you.

1225
00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:25,560
Speaker 3: Like it's just the conversation that's scaring the shit out

1226
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,239
Speaker 3: of you because you know what her reaction is going

1227
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 3: to be. But the sooner you have that conversation, the

1228
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 3: sooner she's gonna get used to the idea.

1229
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:35,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's exactly right.

1230
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 5: Like floating the idea out before you're like, this is

1231
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:40,840
Speaker 5: what we're doing and when it's happening could be really helpful.

1232
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:41,279
Speaker 1: Right.

1233
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:44,880
Speaker 9: Yeah, Yeah, we like we've sort of like danced around it,

1234
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 9: but I can tell it's like not gonna go smoothly,

1235
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:47,920
Speaker 9: so we just like leave it.

1236
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,360
Speaker 3: But that's not a reason to not do it. And

1237
00:56:50,440 --> 00:56:53,200
Speaker 3: also you can set up like, hey, this is this

1238
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 3: is our plan. We're going to come back every whatever

1239
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 3: once a month and spend the weekend with you.

1240
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:01,040
Speaker 1: You're gonna come, We're gonna come get you. For a week,

1241
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:02,040
Speaker 1: a month or whatever.

1242
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 3: The schedule is, Like lay that out so that you

1243
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:07,960
Speaker 3: know there's comfort in that and there's like some consistency

1244
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,080
Speaker 3: and a schedule that's being set.

1245
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:12,759
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think that's the thing, is

1246
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:13,920
Speaker 9: just giving her that comfort.

1247
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 1: But and frame it that it is temporary.

1248
00:57:16,720 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 3: Just say that for everyone's sake, Just say we're just

1249
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 3: gonna try this for a couple of years so that

1250
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:23,120
Speaker 3: everyone can warm up to the idea. Because that way,

1251
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 3: if you do end up staying by that time, everyone's

1252
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 3: going to be over it.

1253
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 1: Anyway.

1254
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:30,640
Speaker 3: Families are resilient and they rebound from the trauma and

1255
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 3: they come back to you. You know, if you're a

1256
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:34,560
Speaker 3: close knit family, no one's going anywhere anyway.

1257
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:38,920
Speaker 4: It's kind of true. My brother moved to Colorado for

1258
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 4: two years and we were all like, are you serious,

1259
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 4: Like this is It was devastating to all of us,

1260
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 4: and before we knew it, he was back and everything

1261
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 4: was It's fine.

1262
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:49,920
Speaker 8: Yeah.

1263
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:52,120
Speaker 9: I think it's almost just like the anxiety is like

1264
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 9: before it even happens, you have more anxiety than you

1265
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 9: even need to do.

1266
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 1: That's what you're doing.

1267
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:58,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, do you.

1268
00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:00,160
Speaker 4: Want to move? Do you want to move? Or that

1269
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 4: more your husband.

1270
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 9: It's like if he said tomorrow, like no, never mind,

1271
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 9: let's just cancel everything and stay. I'd be happy where

1272
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,800
Speaker 9: we are, Like it's a lovely community. It's a beautiful,

1273
00:58:09,800 --> 00:58:12,400
Speaker 9: small little communit Like it's a beautiful area where we

1274
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 9: live now. So I'm we're happy there. But he's like,

1275
00:58:15,440 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 9: I think we can do more. We can like his

1276
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 9: business could do well here. I can work remote, I

1277
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:24,000
Speaker 9: work from wherever, so we have that like flexibility and

1278
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:26,280
Speaker 9: it's just like it's beautiful up here. So he's just like,

1279
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:29,640
Speaker 9: this is why what are we doing? Like what we're

1280
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 9: we're in the early forties, Let's do something else that'll

1281
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:32,800
Speaker 9: be what the hell?

1282
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:33,680
Speaker 4: Right?

1283
00:58:33,760 --> 00:58:34,920
Speaker 8: So and I totally see it.

1284
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 9: It's like more, more money, more opportunities, better lifestyle.

1285
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:41,200
Speaker 8: I see all the pros.

1286
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,600
Speaker 9: But then I'm just like I just keep pulling myself

1287
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 9: back to like I hate change, and like part of

1288
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 9: me is like can I mentally go through a big

1289
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 9: move and like rerip my kids out of the school

1290
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 9: and like start over and leave all our friends, And

1291
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:54,000
Speaker 9: part of me is like can I even handle that?

1292
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:54,920
Speaker 8: Because that scares me.

1293
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:56,800
Speaker 9: It's not even just like my mom and stuff it's

1294
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:59,040
Speaker 9: like the scary I don't like change.

1295
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you can handle it and you will handle

1296
00:59:01,840 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 3: it if that's what you choose to do, and you

1297
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 3: can handle it. And this is a difficult conversation, and

1298
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 3: this is what adulthood is about, is about having difficult

1299
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:10,960
Speaker 3: moments with people we love when sometimes you have to

1300
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 3: like give somebody bad news.

1301
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:14,240
Speaker 1: So it's like a testament.

1302
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 3: To your like, you know, enduring strength as a woman,

1303
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:18,440
Speaker 3: and it's empowering. So I think you should look at

1304
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 3: it from that, like you're taking a stance for your

1305
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 3: family and you're doing what's right for your family for

1306
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 3: this period of time. And that doesn't mean anyone's going

1307
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 3: to be excommunicated. You're all just going to adjust to

1308
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 3: it together. And if that's you know, if you really

1309
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:32,920
Speaker 3: feel this way, and I think you should go. I

1310
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:35,440
Speaker 3: think the way Kate described it, the way you're describing it,

1311
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:37,840
Speaker 3: it just sounds beautiful and why not have an adventure?

1312
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 8: Yeah, no, it is. And I think that's the thing.

1313
00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 9: It's like, deep down, I have that little voice like

1314
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 9: when we come up here, it's like, oh, it is

1315
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:46,840
Speaker 9: so gorgeous, and it's like, but I'm so scared, right,

1316
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:47,919
Speaker 9: Like I just don't like change.

1317
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:51,720
Speaker 4: They also say that when you do things like that,

1318
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:56,320
Speaker 4: you just you live longer. Yeah, they say when you change,

1319
00:59:56,360 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 4: when you go into new environments and you have these

1320
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 4: like different experiences, and it's actually like it literally rejuvenates yourselves.

1321
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:07,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, I could see that.

1322
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 9: Yeah, it makes Yeah, I think I just don't like

1323
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:12,160
Speaker 9: being out of my comfort zone. And I just I

1324
01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 9: think it'd be good though, It'll be a growth experience

1325
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 9: for everything.

1326
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:16,720
Speaker 8: Right, So, just well you're.

1327
01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:19,560
Speaker 4: Saying it, if you're if this is about you and anxiety,

1328
01:00:19,640 --> 01:00:22,880
Speaker 4: then you need to go Yeah you know what I mean,

1329
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 4: You need to like be more fearless.

1330
01:00:24,920 --> 01:00:26,880
Speaker 8: And just yeah, I know, I think that's what it is.

1331
01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 9: It's just like you're in your comfort zone with like

1332
01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:31,360
Speaker 9: your family and your kids in schools and everything, and

1333
01:00:31,400 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 9: it's just scary to like start over and just move

1334
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 9: somewhere where it's brand new. Everything's brand new and scary.

1335
01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:37,560
Speaker 8: Right.

1336
01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:41,120
Speaker 9: So but anyways, now everything you're saying, it's like I think,

1337
01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 9: deep down I know all that, and it's just hard

1338
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:45,280
Speaker 9: to like come to terms with it.

1339
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,560
Speaker 1: Well, this is the kick in your ass that you're

1340
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:48,080
Speaker 1: looking for.

1341
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 8: Okay, Yeah, Chelsey and I.

1342
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 4: We're really like the wrong people to say, because we

1343
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,120
Speaker 4: literally live on the road all we do. It's we're

1344
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 4: like circus, folks.

1345
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:57,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to live.

1346
01:00:57,600 --> 01:00:59,400
Speaker 3: I'm going to live till one hundred and fifty for

1347
01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:04,800
Speaker 3: all the new ironments I'm exposed to. Yeah, yeah, good

1348
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 3: luck to you and let us know what happens.

1349
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 1: Okay, keep in touch with us.

1350
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 2: Send us a postcard from up north.

1351
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, bias to meet you.

1352
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 8: Thanks so much meeting you. This was awesome. Thank you

1353
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:16,000
Speaker 8: so much.

1354
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:18,800
Speaker 1: Bye Julia, Bye, Hey, how did you know?

1355
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:20,080
Speaker 2: Exactly where did you go?

1356
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 1: That was so funny.

1357
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 2: They even say Canada like.

1358
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 4: Scoca, Well, the Lake Country when she said up north,

1359
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:33,560
Speaker 4: like that's what we call from Toronto. All Lake Country

1360
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:38,080
Speaker 4: and Muskoka is like kind of the biggest sort of Algonquin.

1361
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:43,200
Speaker 4: It's honestly, guys, it's like heaven up there. It's the

1362
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 4: most beautiful place in the world to me.

1363
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 3: That's where I'm going to buy a bunch of acres

1364
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:49,760
Speaker 3: for global warming is Northern Canada.

1365
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:51,720
Speaker 1: That seems to be the safest place to do it.

1366
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:53,600
Speaker 3: I'm gonna buy one hundred acres and then tell anybody

1367
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:55,919
Speaker 3: that they want that they can just come build and.

1368
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,280
Speaker 1: Keep about fifty feet in between dwellings.

1369
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:00,720
Speaker 4: Okay, I'll show you where to go.

1370
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:03,920
Speaker 1: Yeah you will. You're a climatologist, you'll know where to go.

1371
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:05,680
Speaker 4: Uh huh, that's right, Kate.

1372
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 3: This was so much fun. Thank you so much for

1373
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 3: being with us today. I love you. You know how

1374
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 3: much I love you.

1375
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,360
Speaker 4: I love you so much, and you.

1376
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,439
Speaker 1: Gave great fucking advice on top of it.

1377
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 8: I did you did?

1378
01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:20,400
Speaker 4: I could talk to it. I could talk forever on

1379
01:02:20,440 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 4: this stub.

1380
01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:22,440
Speaker 8: Do you how do you even think goodbye?

1381
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:24,600
Speaker 4: I could like literally talk to you for an hour.

1382
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:26,240
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1383
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:29,960
Speaker 3: Well, you contributed so thank you and I will see

1384
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:30,400
Speaker 3: you soon.

1385
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me, Love you.

1386
01:02:32,120 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 1: Thanks, love you, Thanks Kate, Bye bye. Okay, guys.

1387
01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 3: Also, I have added more second shows to my Little

1388
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 3: Big Bitch tour. I added second shows in Hollywood at

1389
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:44,440
Speaker 3: the Pantages.

1390
01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 1: I am going to be there two.

1391
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:50,720
Speaker 3: Nights October twelfth and thirteenth. I added another show at

1392
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:54,960
Speaker 3: the Chicago Theater October twenty seventh and October twenty eighth,

1393
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,640
Speaker 3: one of my favorite places to perform. I added another

1394
01:02:57,640 --> 01:03:00,320
Speaker 3: show in Portland, so I'll be there November se second

1395
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:04,080
Speaker 3: and third. And I added a second show in Boston

1396
01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:06,640
Speaker 3: at the Weighing Center, so I will be their November

1397
01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:09,920
Speaker 3: sixteenth and seventeenth. I also have two shows in Seattle,

1398
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 3: San Francisco, New York at the Beacon and Washington, d C.

1399
01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:18,040
Speaker 3: I will be there October fifth and sixth, and a

1400
01:03:18,040 --> 01:03:22,320
Speaker 3: special shout out to Phoenix, Arizona, where I'm coming Saturday,

1401
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:27,240
Speaker 3: October fourteenth, and then I'm coming to Cleveland Columbus in Pittsburgh,

1402
01:03:27,640 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 3: so suck on that, you guys. I can't wait to

1403
01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:33,120
Speaker 3: see everybody. Oh and I'm coming to Eugene, Oregon too, everybody.

1404
01:03:33,200 --> 01:03:37,280
Speaker 3: That's November ninth, twenty twenty three, and I will be

1405
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:40,600
Speaker 3: at the Clubhouse in East Hampton, which is going to

1406
01:03:40,600 --> 01:03:44,080
Speaker 3: be a very intimate show on Saturday, August twenty sixth,

1407
01:03:44,080 --> 01:03:47,040
Speaker 3: So if you are in the Long Island area, that's

1408
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:48,920
Speaker 3: where I'll be the Clubhouse.

1409
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:51,960
Speaker 5: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1410
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:55,080
Speaker 5: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1411
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:58,120
Speaker 5: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1412
01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 5: and engineered by Brad Dickert secutive producer Katherine Locke, and

1413
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,280
Speaker 5: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1414
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:08,560
Speaker 5: com