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Speaker 1: I let my dad back into my life, but he

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Speaker 1: keeps letting me down. The last straw was missing my wedding.

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Speaker 1: Kick him out of your life.

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Speaker 2: I think we already done. Ye a here.

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Speaker 1: I was very low contact with my father for many years.

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Speaker 1: He and my mother had a bitter divorce when I

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Speaker 1: was eighteen, and he found his current girlfriend, Debbie, when

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Speaker 1: I was twenty. Without going to in depth, he was

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Speaker 1: abusive my whole life until I moved out when I

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Speaker 1: was twenty. By the way, this comes from avelin on

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Speaker 1: the r slash Okay storytime. Suepared it. So when the

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Speaker 1: pandemic hit, he started calling more at the state of

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Speaker 1: the world and me not me. Being now in my thirties,

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Speaker 1: I was more open to communicating with him. We were

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Speaker 1: very slowly communicating with me, setting very firm boundaries with

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Speaker 1: conversation topics. He would occasionally violate them, scream at me.

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Speaker 1: He'd go in time out.

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Speaker 2: And then he'd be good for sounds bipolar, but sound good. Yeah, No,

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Speaker 2: that's not.

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Speaker 1: That't sounds like there might be some other mental health

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Speaker 1: things going on.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot going on with that.

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Speaker 1: Umm yikes. Also, I don't know, Yeah, I don't know

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Speaker 1: if you need to give your parent a second or

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Speaker 1: a third chance. Any chances, Yeah, any chances when they've

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Speaker 1: been abusive to you and are continuing to do that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: into your thirties. When I met my husband, Victor, my

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Speaker 1: father was actually excited for me, spent time trying to

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Speaker 1: get to know him over the phone, was happy for me.

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Speaker 1: When I moved in with Victor, my father actually apologized

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Speaker 1: to me for everything he'd done. For the first time

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Speaker 1: in my life, I felt heard and validated by my father.

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Speaker 1: He apologized for treating me, treating me like trash in

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Speaker 1: favor of my siblings. He apologized for all the horrible

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Speaker 1: things he did to me, and I cried. I felt

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Speaker 1: validation and relief like I had never had before, and

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Speaker 1: I was then completely open to a relationship with him Again.

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Speaker 1: This feels like love bombing. This feels like he abuses

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Speaker 1: her and you know, blashes out and then says, I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry I should never have done that.

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Speaker 2: I love you, And then let's do this cycle, cycle.

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Speaker 1: Over and over.

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Speaker 2: We love that cycle.

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Speaker 1: Pretty darn Yarn says, when they show you who they are,

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Speaker 1: believe them the first time. Yeah, when I got engaged,

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Speaker 1: he was thrilled. He asked if he was walking me

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Speaker 1: down the aisle, and I had to tell him, oh.

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Speaker 2: Good, Oh that's definitely why yeah, because it was like,

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Speaker 2: it's all about him.

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Speaker 1: It's everything's about him. He went, He got himself back

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Speaker 1: into real life. He apologized because he wanted attention.

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Speaker 2: There's going to be a party. No, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: be I'm the I'm the father of the bride, walk.

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Speaker 1: You down the aisle. Of course I'll come back into

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Speaker 1: your life. It didn't really feel right to me, and

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Speaker 1: I wasn't having bridesmaids or groomsmen, so it made sense

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Speaker 1: to walk by myself. No one in my family was

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Speaker 1: ever there for me, so why wouldn't I walk towards

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Speaker 1: my next chapter alone like I did my adult life? Bad?

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Speaker 2: Oh my worzad.

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Speaker 1: He was disappointed, but was okay with it. I told

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Speaker 1: him we can have a dance if that was good

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Speaker 1: with him, and he agreed. I told him everyone on

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Speaker 1: my mom's side was excited to be able to see

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Speaker 1: him again after so many years. Wow. Him and my

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Speaker 1: mother have been cordial for years at this point, so

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Speaker 1: there was no animosity. He set up a dinner and

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Speaker 1: had me and Victor over. It went very well. I

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Speaker 1: was actually feeling positive about everything. We made plans for

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Speaker 1: him to meet Victor's parents. It was a big deal

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Speaker 1: because we had to travel to a different state to

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Speaker 1: bring them. We made plans to make the trip and

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Speaker 1: coordinated everything. The week before the meeting, my father wanted

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Speaker 1: to cancel. He said Debbie was having an exploratory surgery

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Speaker 1: and she wouldn't be recovered in time. I said, we

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Speaker 1: had already made these plans, but that's okay, and asked

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Speaker 1: if we could just drive by and he could just

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Speaker 1: step outside his home and say hi. Victor's father, who

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Speaker 1: was in his seventies, was having an extensive surgery himself,

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Speaker 1: so it was important to meet him now before he

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Speaker 1: had it. He'd be grudgingly agreed, I don't think you

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Speaker 1: should have a relationship person. When we pulled up, I

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Speaker 1: was surprised. She came out with him and looked completely fine.

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Speaker 1: Debbie's a freaking liar.

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Speaker 2: No, Bad's a liar.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're both liars. A house full of lies, no bandages,

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Speaker 1: walking fine, no indication of anything. I thought that was odd,

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Speaker 1: but who am I to judge. They both came out

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Speaker 1: stead high and we moved on. He made plans over

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Speaker 1: the course of the next few months. Every time the

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Speaker 1: week of he would can't. The excuses started pouring out.

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Speaker 1: His friend's car broke down and he needed to lend

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Speaker 1: him money. We offered to pay for dinner, but they declined.

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Speaker 1: Debbie was having an exploratory surgery again. How many can

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Speaker 1: one person have? What is an exploratory surgery?

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Speaker 2: Can we can? We?

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Speaker 1: Can we google? Can we whoa Mariah from Alaska? Thank

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Speaker 1: you for the fifty buck tip?

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Speaker 2: WHOA thank you from Alaska?

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Speaker 1: From Mariah from Alaska.

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Speaker 2: Get all that sun?

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Speaker 1: Yeah there's no park there. Yeah, yeah, it's just light

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Speaker 1: all the time. What is an exploratory surgery?

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Speaker 3: Exploratory surgery? Everyone?

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Speaker 1: Is it? Like when you have a you know, maybe cancer.

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Speaker 4: Exploratory surgery a procedure that allows a doctor to look

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Speaker 4: inside the body and help diagnose illness, Like open up

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Speaker 4: and you're like, oh, the camera doesn't look right. O,

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Speaker 4: heart looks broken.

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Speaker 1: Something's wrong?

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Speaker 2: Are you looking at me like that? Huh? I'm singing general,

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Speaker 2: look at me like that.

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Speaker 1: Debbie had a doctor's appointment that he just found out about.

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Speaker 1: They had to take the car to the shop. Et cetera.

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Speaker 1: Lies he had told over and over again. Some he

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Speaker 1: reused from when I was growing up with them, and

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Speaker 1: I knew he was lying. His favorite lies were always

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Speaker 1: the calm.

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Speaker 2: It.

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Speaker 1: You know, if someone wants to hang out with you,

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Speaker 1: they will make that time. And it shouldn't be you

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Speaker 1: what it shouldn't be.

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Speaker 3: Rightly too, there's people that are making time to see you.

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Speaker 1: Yes, anyway, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be you constantly

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Speaker 1: asking and them like pushing you and pushing you.

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Speaker 2: Off, especially since he wanted to. He tried.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he said that he wanted to and is not

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Speaker 1: is making no attempts to cop Also, Robin Stokes, thank

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Speaker 1: you for the one gifted membership. Thank you, Robin m

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Speaker 1: He wanted to treat me for my birthday in the summer,

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Speaker 1: but that never happened. After we had to be scheduled

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Speaker 1: three times, I said, just forget it. We'll see you

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Speaker 1: at the wedding.

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Speaker 2: It's like the boy who cried wolf.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you just like the boy who cried exploratory surgery.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, you only get one exploratory surgery before any time,

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Speaker 1: maybe two. Maybe we had to explore a little bit deeper,

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Speaker 1: explore the explore the other side. But oh, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: eighty one thirty six tip even gang thirty more minutes.

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Speaker 2: I didn't see them. I thought, I said thirty four minutes.

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Speaker 2: Thirty four minutes.

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Speaker 1: I need thirty minutes, and that is another thirty more minutes.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, you're amazing.

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Speaker 1: Well f geez.

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Speaker 2: In the chat, the boy who cried loopus.

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Speaker 1: Oh, that's funny, loopus. Uh, you wanted to treat you

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Speaker 1: for the first Uh. After we had to rescheduled three times,

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Speaker 1: I said, just forget it, forget about it. We'll see

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Speaker 1: you at the wedding. He started to be drunk on

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Speaker 1: his phone calls again, started being argumentative again. But he

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Speaker 1: was excited for the wedding. He was going to make

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Speaker 1: a nice trip out of it with Debbie and stay

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Speaker 1: a few days. Wells Debbie as an exploratory surgery boy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, isn't that crazy? How he has so many things

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Speaker 2: come up when he wants to do when she wants

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Speaker 2: to do stuff. But when it's the wedding's like, all right,

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Speaker 2: that's sick.

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Speaker 1: I can be there three weeks before my wedding.

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Speaker 2: We're back difficulty, no idea, what happened?

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Speaker 1: You were just two, dang.

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Speaker 2: We were overwhelmed.

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Speaker 1: Overwhelmed. Uh, Tony kuses where it froze looks like a thumbtail,

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Speaker 1: we should use that.

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Speaker 2: Oh what's the thumbnail look like? Does it look good?

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Speaker 1: Does it look good? But what are you saying?

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Speaker 4: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but we're back, So let's get back into this story.

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Speaker 1: I'll give you a little TLDR case.

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Speaker 2: You're like, whoa, where did we leave off?

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Speaker 1: Where do we leave off?

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Speaker 2: Where do we lose you guys?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So, basically Opie has a pretty horrible dad and

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Speaker 1: he recently came back into her life and said he would,

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Speaker 1: you know, do better, and is saying, oh, like, I

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Speaker 1: want to be there for your wedding that's coming up,

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Speaker 1: but keeps kind of going back and forth, canceling every

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Speaker 1: time they're supposed to hang out, saying that his wife

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Speaker 1: Debbie or girlfriend Debbie I don't know, has an exploratory

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Speaker 1: surgery to get out of all of his excu just

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Speaker 1: excuses after.

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Speaker 2: Really lame excuses.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and so op said, fine for sure, and he's like,

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Speaker 1: but I'm gonna be there for the wedding, And now

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Speaker 1: Debbie has just called. And that's where we were at

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Speaker 1: three weeks before my wedding, I got a phone call

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Speaker 1: from Debbie. They share a phone. As soon as I

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Speaker 1: picked up, she demanded to know why I didn't tell

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Speaker 1: anyone that the parking garage next to the hotel we

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Speaker 1: had a room block in charged twenty five dollars a

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Speaker 1: day to park. That is pretty crazy. But maybe I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know. I don't know if op kniel.

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Speaker 1: I was dumb struck because firstly, I had no idea

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Speaker 1: that the hotel didn't comp that we live local to

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Speaker 1: the venue, so we were just going home after the wedding. Second,

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Speaker 1: it's a major city, of course they're going to charge,

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Speaker 1: and honestly, twenty five dollars isn't that bad for the city. Thirdly,

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Speaker 1: why are you calling me to complain about this no

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Speaker 1: one else had I can't exactly change it. I told

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Speaker 1: her I had no idea that no one else who

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00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,160
Speaker 1: booked at the hotels had told me, and that twenty

201
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Speaker 1: five dollars was actually a pretty good deal. I told

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Speaker 1: her that. I told her that if they couldn't afford it,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't that big of a deal. Maybe they only

204
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Speaker 1: stay one day, or because they only live an hour

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Speaker 1: from the venue, they didn't have to stay at the hotel.

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Speaker 1: They only live an hour away drive in for the dad.

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Speaker 2: That seems like he's got explored choice er.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a big commitment.

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Speaker 2: That's ten hours away for him.

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Speaker 1: The venue itself has free parking. She hung up on me.

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Speaker 1: We were getting married on Sunday in early November. The

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Speaker 1: Tuesday before the wedding, I got a phone call from

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Speaker 1: my father that I missed because I was having an

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Speaker 1: emergency doctor's appointment due to having been in the hospital

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Speaker 1: the day before stress from everything's exacerbated a prior medical issue,

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Speaker 1: and instead received a text. The text said he wasn't

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Speaker 1: coming to my wedding. Oh my that Debbie was having

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Speaker 1: an explore tory surgery.

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00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,400
Speaker 2: Wow, look at that, Debbie, Look at that.

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Speaker 1: If Debbie's not freaking dying, I don't want to hear

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Speaker 1: about it. I don't want to hear about her exploratory surgeries.

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00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,560
Speaker 1: Maybe you should explore other wives.

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00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, exploring someone else not Debbie.

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00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, explore someone who's not Debbie, because Debbie's not gonna

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Speaker 1: make it.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god. Wow, all right, just try to get

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00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,000
Speaker 3: that out real quick.

228
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Speaker 1: Sorry, Sorry, guys, I don't know what that was I

229
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,920
Speaker 1: know then, oh, that he would send a card. I

230
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,640
Speaker 1: knew then that he was lying. What do you mean

231
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,560
Speaker 1: you knew then? I knew he was lying for the gag,

232
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:41,880
Speaker 1: as he had lied the whole year.

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Speaker 2: He was wishful thinking.

234
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:43,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

235
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:44,839
Speaker 2: She was like, I have I.

236
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Speaker 1: Want to believe the best.

237
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,680
Speaker 2: I want to Yeah, and it's it's she's like.

238
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Speaker 1: A third time hard time in this time frame, get

239
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:59,360
Speaker 1: one explored or two surgeries. I texted back begging him

240
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,000
Speaker 1: to come. I wanted him to come. It wasn't about money.

241
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,160
Speaker 1: That I'm his daughter and this was the biggest day

242
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,320
Speaker 1: of my life to come for even an hour. Debbie

243
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,520
Speaker 1: would be fine for a short time. She has a

244
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:13,160
Speaker 1: family that could watch her for a couple hours. He

245
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,960
Speaker 1: didn't have to stay. He replied that it's not a

246
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:19,040
Speaker 1: contest of who's more important, and he was surprised at me.

247
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,200
Speaker 1: You freaking gas lighter.

248
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:28,160
Speaker 2: Whoa wedding, dude? It's this guy, this father father? Dare

249
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,880
Speaker 2: I say father father? You don't even deserve the title

250
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 2: of father. Yeah, this a.

251
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Speaker 1: Whole, a whole, a a ashol change your initials because

252
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:41,560
Speaker 1: you're a freaking a whole.

253
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,200
Speaker 2: Do they call it? Do Canadians call him.

254
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,000
Speaker 1: A whole Eh.

255
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:51,560
Speaker 2: Hey look at this, Eh.

256
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,880
Speaker 1: Sorry Canadians. I gave my wonderful Victor my phone while

257
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:57,120
Speaker 1: I was sobbing. I couldn't respond. I was hurting and devastated.

258
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,520
Speaker 1: He articulated a text, noted it to me for approval,

259
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:06,280
Speaker 1: than sent it. Honestly w for Victor. It said, basically,

260
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:08,920
Speaker 1: very politely but firmly, that if he couldn't spend a

261
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,120
Speaker 1: couple of hours of his time to see me on

262
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,920
Speaker 1: the biggest day of my life, then we will go

263
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,559
Speaker 1: back to no contact and I will never again speak

264
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,600
Speaker 1: to him. My mother, who's her own story for another day,

265
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,080
Speaker 1: even called him to scream at him for what he

266
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,800
Speaker 1: was doing. She knew his lies too and called him

267
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,320
Speaker 1: out on them. He said, don't worry, she'll.

268
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:33,120
Speaker 2: Still get a call away. No way, this Dad's sucks.

269
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 1: I kept him unblocked up until mid morning the day

270
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:43,080
Speaker 1: at my wedding. Not one message, not one call. I

271
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,880
Speaker 1: was so upset and angry. He had raised my hopes

272
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,320
Speaker 1: of having my father be there for me, then killed

273
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:51,320
Speaker 1: those hopes. Got a thought, I blocked him the day

274
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:56,360
Speaker 1: at my wedding. My wedding day was absolutely perfect. Let's

275
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:59,960
Speaker 1: go when you don't have your sucky dad. There it goes.

276
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,760
Speaker 1: It was a lot better.

277
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,080
Speaker 2: You're liar of a dad.

278
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,760
Speaker 1: Liar in your dirty, dirty cheat of a dad, and

279
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:11,160
Speaker 1: Debbie and Debbie freakin' downer have someone in the chest.

280
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,960
Speaker 1: I can't claim. I can't claim. I was like, look

281
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:19,360
Speaker 1: at you you on thank you guys. My wedding day

282
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:23,000
Speaker 1: was absolutely perfect. It was everything we wanted. I felt

283
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,480
Speaker 1: a little sad right before walking down the aisle, and

284
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,800
Speaker 1: some friends who didn't know about my father asked me

285
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,600
Speaker 1: where he was. But other than that, I didn't even

286
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:31,080
Speaker 1: think of him.

287
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:31,720
Speaker 2: What father?

288
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:32,760
Speaker 1: What father?

289
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:33,440
Speaker 5: I was?

290
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:33,880
Speaker 6: Father?

291
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,240
Speaker 2: What father that?

292
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,920
Speaker 1: I have no father? He has a father and all

293
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,640
Speaker 1: but name. No wait, no other way around. He's a

294
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,880
Speaker 1: father only in name.

295
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,120
Speaker 3: Nice, Okay, we'll take it.

296
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,160
Speaker 1: It wasn't until after Thanksgiving that I thought to check

297
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:55,120
Speaker 1: my blocked messages. He hasn't sent me one message the

298
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,760
Speaker 1: day of my wedding wishing me luck, nothing, didn't even

299
00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:00,920
Speaker 1: thin the freaking card. But he did send one message

300
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:05,560
Speaker 1: on Thanksgiving to summarize it, said, Debbie will always come first.

301
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,960
Speaker 1: You should understand that what whoa what? Dude? You don't

302
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,480
Speaker 1: need to tell us about your bedroom life.

303
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,600
Speaker 3: That's good, that's good. You did you get a keon?

304
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:19,080
Speaker 2: Sure?

305
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:26,640
Speaker 1: Uh no, he secks, Yeah, yeah, but there's a little

306
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:30,080
Speaker 1: bit more to this story, or there shouldn't be any more.

307
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:32,720
Speaker 2: Done.

308
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,640
Speaker 1: I don't understand it. I told my brother, who still

309
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 1: talks to him, that he is dead to me, and

310
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 1: if he asks to tell him that my brother thinks

311
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,280
Speaker 1: that Debbie is the one preventing my father from being

312
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,400
Speaker 1: with his family. I quite frankly don't care. He made

313
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,400
Speaker 1: that decision and these are the consequences. He asked my

314
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,880
Speaker 1: brother how much of a wave he made not come in,

315
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,000
Speaker 1: and my brother told him a big wave. But I'm

316
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 1: not talking about it.

317
00:16:58,240 --> 00:16:58,400
Speaker 2: Hm.

318
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,800
Speaker 1: It's not Debbie that is preventing him from being with

319
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,000
Speaker 1: the family. It is him.

320
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,400
Speaker 2: It's don't use Debbie as an excuse.

321
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:12,480
Speaker 1: Debbie and your exploratory surgeries aside. It's his choice to

322
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,400
Speaker 1: stay away from his family and to choose Debbie over

323
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,080
Speaker 1: everyone else.

324
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,520
Speaker 2: What what what makes you think he got to this

325
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 2: position in his life? Oh, Debbie, Debbie was like Debbie

326
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,720
Speaker 2: was there for like the divorce and everything.

327
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but.

328
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,480
Speaker 2: No, it's on him. It's all on him.

329
00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 1: No, scapegoating, No scapegoating, But you can join us live

330
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,240
Speaker 1: on YouTube every weekday at three pm just tap our profile.

331
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 1: But let's finish the story. So I made the decision

332
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,080
Speaker 1: my father will no longer be in my life, and

333
00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:51,199
Speaker 1: I have so many emotions about it, but it's mostly relief, badness,

334
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,159
Speaker 1: and anger. But I can't help but occasionally check my

335
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,240
Speaker 1: block messages now because some part of me just wants

336
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 1: to know if he knows how badly he hurt me,

337
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,919
Speaker 1: or if he even cares. And some days I just

338
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,159
Speaker 1: want my dad. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the

339
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 1: right thing by cutting him out of my life. Am

340
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,679
Speaker 1: I the a hole for erasing him completely forever going forward?

341
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 1: Am I doing the right thing? And know we still

342
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:20,400
Speaker 1: haven't gotten that card? Got a happy Easter text though, ouch.

343
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:26,280
Speaker 2: Wow you are no. It was again she was doing

344
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 2: wishful thinking and she's like, he's back, He's going to

345
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 2: try and.

346
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,359
Speaker 1: He has proven time and time again to you that

347
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,920
Speaker 1: he has no plans to try and be a better father,

348
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:40,280
Speaker 1: a better person, and that he doesn't want to. And

349
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,480
Speaker 1: I don't think that you have to keep giving chances

350
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 1: to someone who's not going to use.

351
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,680
Speaker 2: Them, especially if they keep letting you down.

352
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,760
Speaker 1: Yes, it only is going to hurt you.

353
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just there's only so much hope you can

354
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,240
Speaker 2: have until you it's just like it's hopeless.

355
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,600
Speaker 1: Before before you have to let that person go and

356
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 1: understand that they're not adding anything to your life.

357
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 2: You have Victor's father as your your.

358
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,719
Speaker 1: Father, and you got Victor in Victor's family.

359
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:07,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

360
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:12,400
Speaker 1: The thing is that op wants a father, but your death,

361
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 1: like Opie's dad, cannot provide that you are wishing for,

362
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 1: not your father, but we could have been, and he

363
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,720
Speaker 1: can never give you that. Yeah, the thought of what

364
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,400
Speaker 1: a father could be. Yeah, but that is the end

365
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 1: of that story. But there are some donations before we

366
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 1: get into this next one. Lady of the oah uh,

367
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:37,120
Speaker 1: Nicole Mistassa Mesatasta. I think Nicole and Meza Tasta, thank

368
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 1: you for becoming a new or celebrating one month of membership.

369
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 1: Tomorrow is my birthday, Happy birthday, I turned the Big four. Oh.

370
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,719
Speaker 1: I think that means I finally made it to real adulthood.

371
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: Adulthood Lol. Welcome happy birthday, but welcome or almost anyone's birthday.

372
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 1: Who else is in the adulthood group?

373
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 2: I'm not in the adulthood. I'll tell you there's a

374
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 2: hood for it.

375
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,879
Speaker 1: It's an adulthood. Lady of the Elephants, thank you for

376
00:20:05,119 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 1: the two gifted memberships. And Tony C thank you for

377
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 1: the five buck tip. Sophia, we all know where it

378
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 1: came from. It was Debbie.

379
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 2: Debbie.

380
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 1: Debbie all comes from Debbie ra ra King. Thank you

381
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 1: for the five bucks. I'm late, but I do wonder

382
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 1: if Debbie could be messaging OP as her dad. I

383
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,600
Speaker 1: didn't think about that because they share a phone. Oh

384
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:35,919
Speaker 1: oh oh, she's like Debbie always comes first, because.

385
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,960
Speaker 3: Shut up, dude.

386
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 5: Sophia never makes sex jokes, and this is the best

387
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 5: one she's made all.

388
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:42,720
Speaker 1: Day, all day.

389
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 2: That's your best one all day.

390
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 1: Let's not saying much. I didn't make any.

391
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 5: Well, this is your first one and I love it. Also, wait,

392
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 5: did we read an update of this?

393
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:52,879
Speaker 1: There's no update.

394
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:53,639
Speaker 3: Guess what?

395
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 2: Guess what? I just found.

396
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,360
Speaker 3: An update? I found I have an estimated guest here

397
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,480
Speaker 3: on update. Maybe I did.

398
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 2: Why are you guys sharing a phone?

399
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:15,320
Speaker 1: What? Yeah, maybe that's why they were the.

400
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 2: Parking I mean, I get it, But if it's that,

401
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 2: if if my dad was really like but he seems

402
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 2: like he didn't even want the help.

403
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 1: Didn't even want to help. He didn't want the help

404
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: he didn't say. Also, he could have just driven to that.

405
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 1: There were so many other solutions. Oh dutchess. Casana says

406
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 1: the dad left a voice message, so it's not all Debbie.

407
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:37,920
Speaker 1: They're in koots.

408
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:38,919
Speaker 2: Mmmm.

409
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 3: But there's more updates see the update.

410
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,479
Speaker 1: First, I want to thank you all for your comments

411
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 1: and advice. The fact that any of the Waffle Game

412
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 1: took the time to write me a comment meant the

413
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 1: world to me. You all truly encouraged me and strengthened

414
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 1: my resolve. Right after my post, I had a good

415
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 1: talk with Victor and he echoed everything you all said.

416
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,640
Speaker 1: I even looked into deleting my father's number permanently from

417
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 1: my phone, but apparently that would unblock him. Really, that's interesting.

418
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 1: After a lot of reading through the comments and reflecting

419
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,679
Speaker 1: on what everyone said, I really started to think why

420
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,920
Speaker 1: I ever thought I was the a hole for cutting

421
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,080
Speaker 1: him off because he gassled you. Well, I guess I

422
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 1: have my answer. My brother, Devin thirty, is really impressionable.

423
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: He lives with my mother, and while living with my

424
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 1: mother can be a nightmare. They were doing well. My

425
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 1: brother means a lot to me. I gave up school,

426
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 1: a career, and took on three jobs to be able

427
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 1: to be able to help raise him for a few

428
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:43,359
Speaker 1: years with my dad after my parents divorced. He has

429
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:47,159
Speaker 1: always struggled to be truly independent, mostly due to my

430
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 1: father's coddling. Most of his life, he was the golden child,

431
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 1: the only boy. In an attempt to help him seed,

432
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: some family member's mom's side decided to step up and

433
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: get him out of my mother's house and support him

434
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: to move to a warmer state to rent with some cousins.

435
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 1: They even paid for him to fly out to the

436
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,680
Speaker 1: new state and see if he wanted to move. Wow,

437
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,679
Speaker 1: everyone's really helping this guy. When he got home, he

438
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,240
Speaker 1: apparently went straight to my father's and spent four days there.

439
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: I have no idea why. I called up my brother

440
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 1: a few days after he returned back to my mother's.

441
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 1: He said he was really looking forward to moving to

442
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 1: the new state. After talking to him a bit, I

443
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: mentioned that I was happy for him, but really sad

444
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 1: I'd be losing one of my close family members. I

445
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: talked to His response, well, I'm the only family member

446
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: who still talks to dad, So imagine how he feels.

447
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:49,119
Speaker 1: Why when did you say that? I was stunned. I said,

448
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, what did you say? He got angry and

449
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 1: just said, well, when I move, Dad will really have

450
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 1: no one because you refuse to talk to him, even

451
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,359
Speaker 1: though it's been months. You really should feel bad for him.

452
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:04,320
Speaker 1: He doesn't understand how you can still be mad at him. Dude,

453
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:10,880
Speaker 1: you're being manipulated by your dad. You're being manipulated by your.

454
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 2: D Dude, that that's hard to hear.

455
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 1: Oh so hard to be talking to your sibling and say, oh,

456
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 1: I'm going to really miss you, and then for them

457
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:27,159
Speaker 1: to bring this other thing up, this complicated relationship you

458
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: have with your other parent, not okay. All those feelings

459
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: came flooding back, the doubt, the guilt, the am I

460
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 1: doing the right thing? And then the anger came. In

461
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,159
Speaker 1: that moment, I realized that this is what my family

462
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 1: normally does to me, and what my father normally does.

463
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: He plays the victim, makes everyone feel bad for him.

464
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 1: Even though I am in the right, I am made

465
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 1: to feel like a pos for having boundaries. I took

466
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 1: a breath and explained to my brother Devin, dad made

467
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 1: his choice. Each hose this. I was open to him

468
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 1: being a dad. He declined that he didn't want to

469
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 1: be in my life. He has no right to complain.

470
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 1: He did this to himself. I don't care if Debby

471
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,240
Speaker 1: made him not go or not. He's a grown but man.

472
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 1: He's a grown button man. He's a whole grown man

473
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 1: but man. And he didn't go to his own daughter's

474
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: wedding so he can stay dead. To me, it was

475
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 1: his choice. Talk your truth, tie that talk.

476
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 2: There's no reason to sugarcoat anything.

477
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,200
Speaker 1: No, your brother's trying to start push your buttons.

478
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 2: You're an adulthood.

479
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: You're an adult, and you don't have to deal with this. Yeah,

480
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 1: my brother didn't have anything to say to that, just

481
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,719
Speaker 1: rush me off the phone with barelya goodbye, hung up

482
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:51,160
Speaker 1: after I barely got the words love you. I told

483
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: Victor what Devin said, and he was appalled. He wished

484
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: I had taken the call near him so he could

485
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: speak to my brother himself. I told him that my

486
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 1: father brainwashed him, that he's not normally like this. He

487
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,199
Speaker 1: reminded me that Devin is a grown man. He's a

488
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: grown buttman. He's not a child anymore, and that I

489
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 1: shouldn't excuse what he said. I became so upset my

490
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 1: resolve shook Jake, and again I felt awkward about the

491
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,760
Speaker 1: phone calls, so I followed up the next day. He

492
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,920
Speaker 1: wanted to move the beginning of June. I asked him

493
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,119
Speaker 1: to visit before he goes from a car ride away

494
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 1: distance from a car ride away distance to a plane

495
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 1: ride away, and he said he would see me mid

496
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: May for his yearly visit to me, like always. Then

497
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,399
Speaker 1: a week before a normal visit date, I found it

498
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 1: from my mother. My brother texted her and told her

499
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,159
Speaker 1: he plans to move in four days and make the

500
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: multi day long drive to the new state. So he

501
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 1: lied to me just like her dad. He's just following

502
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,360
Speaker 1: in his footsteps.

503
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 2: Something in the with the men in this family not good.

504
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 1: Something in the water that these are but men, Victor Oh,

505
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,640
Speaker 1: and didn't even plan on seeing me to say goodbye.

506
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 1: Victor had no words, just that he's incredibly disappointed in

507
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: my brother. My brother called me the day before he left.

508
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 1: He sounded so happy, saying, Hey, what's up. I told him, well, honestly,

509
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: I'm a little hurt and disappointed in you. Right now,

510
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: because I'm assuming you're calling me to tell me you're

511
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 1: leaving tomorrow and you're not even bothering to say goodbye

512
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: to me. He then was adamant that he told me. Then,

513
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,679
Speaker 1: when I pointed out that he didn't, he irrupted in

514
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 1: anger at me, saying I was always playing the victim,

515
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,719
Speaker 1: and why was that? I happy for him leaving, and

516
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: how dare I make him feel guilty? Almost word for

517
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: word what my father would say. I told him, I

518
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: am thrilled he's moving and having a new opportunity. I'm

519
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: upset he's telling me twelve hours before leaving and not

520
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 1: saying goodbye when he literally has to pass within twenty

521
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 1: minutes of where I live. When he leaves, I started crying.

522
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: My brother apologized for not telling me. I offered to

523
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 1: be up at whatever time he needed. I just wanted

524
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 1: to hug him goodbye, he declined, said he'd be back eventually.

525
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,000
Speaker 2: I don't like this update.

526
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 1: Update a dog or to my heart and now this

527
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 1: and now all my family sucks. That's what this update was,

528
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: and I'm sad. Uh sorry, Pistacio says Apple rotten straight

529
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 1: to the core. No x X Victor was listening and

530
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: was getting angry at my brother and how he was

531
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: speaking to me. He's so agitated with him and is

532
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: hoping he starts acting like an adult in the new state. Yeah,

533
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: hopefully if he's away from his dad, he.

534
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 2: Realizes his brain right, Yeah, gets.

535
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 1: An exploratory surgery on his brain. That's the only joke

536
00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be. It's been months now since he moved.

537
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: I've heard nothing from my father. My brother and I

538
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 1: talk occasionally on the phone, with me checking in, especially

539
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: the first month. He's struggling where he is to get

540
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 1: a full time job, but he's doing everything he can

541
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: to at least pay rent. He became busy in the

542
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 1: last month, so I hadn't heard from him in a while.

543
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 1: My birthday came, he sent me a happy Birthday text

544
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 1: and said he'd call later. At eleven forty five, I

545
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: finally got a call from him. I was in the

546
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 1: middle of a video game match with friends. After a

547
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: brief chat, I asked if he was free the next night.

548
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: He said yes, so I told him I would call

549
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: him the next day for a proper catch up. Because

550
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 1: he caught me in the middle of something, he hung

551
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 1: up on me and didn't answer my call the next day.

552
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: I haven't tried to call since I did check for

553
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: this post, and I did not receive any messages for

554
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: from my father, not since his Happy Easter. Ever since

555
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 1: him and my mother separated, he has always forgotten my

556
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: birin they and I'm at a loss. I don't know

557
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,479
Speaker 1: what I did wrong or what I did to deserve

558
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: this treatment from him? Is this all because I won't

559
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 1: forget my father? And I'm just sitting here just sad.

560
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 1: All I've ever wanted is my family to love me,

561
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: And I don't know what to do next. If you

562
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,959
Speaker 1: have advice for me, I just ask you say it kindly.

563
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: My heart is rather full of emotions at this point.

564
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: And that is the end of this story. Give this

565
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: is so sad that a hug a family.

566
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 2: Get like some snacks. Maybe we can play some video

567
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 2: games too, Get Victor in there.

568
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 1: Give Victor in there, we play some that's play some

569
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 1: Breath of the Wild.

570
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, but happy something happy, happy and lighthearted.

571
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 1: That's so sad. OPI does not like Op. You're not

572
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 1: the able.

573
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 2: You didn't deserve.

574
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 1: You didn't deserve any of this. Sometimes your family can

575
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 1: be really sucky and it seems like you're is learning

576
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: from his dad, which really sucks.

577
00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: But their father'splating your your brother.

578
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's not really anything that you can do.

579
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: That is something that he needs to realize and he

580
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 1: needs to snap out of.

581
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 2: You've said your piece, you have your reasons, and they're

582
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 2: not validating them, nor nor just there. They just like, oh, no,

583
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: you are the victim. You're always playing the victim card.

584
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 1: Because they're the bad guys.

585
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 2: Yeah that sucks.

586
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:44,160
Speaker 1: Oh boy, yeah, that ouch ouch ouch. But that is

587
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 1: the end of that story. And there is another story.

588
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 2: That's I don't know where to go from that.

589
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna get into the next one.

590
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: Keep going. That's what we.

591
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 2: Read one. What's pretty happy. Let me get some water,

592
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 2: Oka say, hydrated, guys, wipe those eyes, wipe your tears away,

593
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 2: those tears away. Let's see if we have any.

594
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: Dragon Maiden says, hugs for op. I hope she appreciates her. Well,

595
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: it's a burden, says, It's sucks when family proves they

596
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 1: don't care as much as you. I had something similar

597
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 1: and had to decide to put it in this to

598
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 1: only put in the same effort took ages to get

599
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: through my head. The phone works two ways, and obviously

600
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 1: if no contact, they don't care. Yep, yep, yeah, or did.

601
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 2: You kind of?

602
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: Yeah?

603
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 5: Also, guys like the stream, like it right now, like

604
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 5: it go and like its doing this.

605
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 3: But guys like it.

606
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 5: Yes, I know we have seven minutes left, but if

607
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 5: we like the stream, we could go a longer.

608
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, we could. This is a possibility.

609
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 2: Okay, so start from Okay, I was like, what line

610
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 2: are you talking about? What line? Sorry, guys, I'm so new.

611
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 1: At this, so new. Please don't be mean.

612
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 2: Give me, give me a little just flat.

613
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:13,640
Speaker 1: I'm a little love, just a little never not nothing

614
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 1: too crazy.

615
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 2: It always use a little bit more after that story,

616
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 2: especially all right, are you ready?

617
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: Yeah? We're freaking ready?

618
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 2: Man. All right, guys, my husband and I want to

619
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: change our last name. His family refuses to accept this.

620
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 2: The should I go ahead?

621
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 3: And just oh do we hit the we hit the

622
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:36,720
Speaker 3: spin the wheel? Should we just do that real quick.

623
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: Before we start? It's been that wheel? Okay, So when we're.

624
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 3: What two truths and one lie.

625
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 5: Or that jeopardy or or or this one?

626
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: Do it? All right?

627
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 3: We got five memberships? Guys?

628
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 2: Why not both.

629
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 3: Too bad?

630
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 1: Five gifted memberships five lucky okay, fams and the memberships

631
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:14,800
Speaker 1: can't really find they give it the ten bucks. Opie

632
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,439
Speaker 1: didn't do a damn thing. Eastern birthdays go to narc

633
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,439
Speaker 1: move to hijack big days, to pretention. You deserve better

634
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 1: and he deserves to be out of sight, out of mind.

635
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,760
Speaker 1: That's such a good point, which I didn't really think about.

636
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 1: Of of waiting for big days where someone is supposed

637
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 1: to be feeling happy, to eat your way back in. Yeah,

638
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:41,919
Speaker 1: and make them feel worse about it. And oh that's

639
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: from us. Okay, sorry, time five gifted memberships.

640
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 2: Let's go TAZ, Thank you us, thanks us, thanks, everyone.

641
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:55,800
Speaker 1: Said, thank you us. But should we get into this

642
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:56,160
Speaker 1: next door?

643
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:57,359
Speaker 3: Just keep reading?

644
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 2: Oh don't that's your two truths to the life. I mean,

645
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 2: we don't. Four minutes, well we might something. Just read

646
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,879
Speaker 2: it all right, fine, just read.

647
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get out of it.

648
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 2: Some really good lie guys, really good. Okay, So I'm

649
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 2: gonna go ahead and read again. My husband and I

650
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 2: want to change our last name. His family refuses to

651
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:18,399
Speaker 2: accept this.

652
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 1: Rop them.

653
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 2: Go ahead and read that little This happened months ago,

654
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:27,320
Speaker 2: but it's still bothering my husband and myself. Some background context,

655
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 2: I twenty four female and my husband, twenty four male,

656
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 2: grew up in very different family environments. By the way,

657
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 2: this comes from Moss underscore lover underscore four twenty on

658
00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:39,920
Speaker 2: the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

659
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 1: If that is boss, what are you talking about?

660
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 2: What's moss? I don't know what are you inciting here?

661
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 1: So I don't know if moss is like another meaning

662
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: it is, but it's okay.

663
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,720
Speaker 2: I knew it all right. I have a big, close

664
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 2: knit family with a bunch of step and half siblings.

665
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,480
Speaker 2: All right, Getting used to it, guys. My husband is

666
00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,320
Speaker 2: an only child who had to deal with his divorced

667
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,800
Speaker 2: parents hating each other and putting him in the middle

668
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 2: of a lot of adult drama his whole life. Wow,

669
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 2: this sounds this sounds close to home.

670
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 1: Like the other story.

671
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 2: One notable issue was his mom wanting him to change

672
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 2: his last name to Hers out of hatred for his dad. Whoa,

673
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 2: Why are you putting your kid again? Don't don't whoa? Okay,

674
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 2: this is a big battle during his upbringing, but they

675
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 2: ended up letting him keep his dad's last name. There

676
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 2: are a lot of other issues from his difficult upbringing

677
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,680
Speaker 2: that are personal, but it wasn't easy for him. Through

678
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:42,640
Speaker 2: it all, he was all He has always been super

679
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 2: kind and has never rocked the boat or created any

680
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 2: family drama. He self admitted to being a people pleaser

681
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 2: with his family before. This sounds really close to home, guys,

682
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 2: you yeah, no, not?

683
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 3: Did I do this people pleaser?

684
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:00,839
Speaker 1: I remember on.

685
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 2: Our second eight years ago, he mentioned that he got married,

686
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 2: he'd wants to pick a new last name for himself

687
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 2: because his name carries a lot of baggage for him

688
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 2: as a big feminist. I thought this was what. I

689
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 2: thought that was really cool and loved the idea. More context,

690
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 2: my dad, who I was very close with and his

691
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,320
Speaker 2: biological daughter, died in a freak accident two years before

692
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:27,399
Speaker 2: my wedding. Oh, this is the beginning of the story. Guys,

693
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 2: this is a lot. This is this is a lot.

694
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 2: My dad was truly everything I looked up to, an

695
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:37,840
Speaker 2: extremely moral, kind, hard working man. We had a special

696
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,919
Speaker 2: bond and I still mourned him to this day. As

697
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 2: his only biological daughter, I'm the only one left with

698
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 2: his name. My husband and I thought of the beautiful

699
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 2: idea to combine our last names into a new name

700
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 2: for the both of us. That's very sweet. It aws

701
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,359
Speaker 2: him to get a new last name, be to keep

702
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,799
Speaker 2: a part of my dad's legacy in him, to keep

703
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 2: a part of his family's name. It also felt like

704
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 2: a cool equality thing to a quality thing too, And

705
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 2: best of all, the new name is coincidentally a real

706
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 2: last name, though a little uncommon. I want to know

707
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 2: what the last name us, your last name?

708
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 1: I was.

709
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 2: So he sat his dad down a few months before

710
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 2: the wedding and told them his intention to change his

711
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,880
Speaker 2: last name to the combined one with me. His dad

712
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:28,800
Speaker 2: didn't take it well at all and was extremely upset.

713
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,960
Speaker 2: His relatives are very conservative and traditional. But in our eyes,

714
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 2: no matter what we're called, we're all family regardless what.

715
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: This is so sweet.

716
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,719
Speaker 2: We just flipped it. We flipped this to like really like,

717
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 2: oh man, this is rough to this is very endearing.

718
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 1: This is endearing, and the family is being a stinker.

719
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, families, I'm wait, a name is just a label,

720
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 2: and when women get married they give up their last

721
00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 2: name anyway, So on our eyes, it wasn't a huge deal.

722
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,319
Speaker 2: I told my family and he told his mom, and

723
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 2: everyone was cool with it and loved the idea. Here's

724
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 2: where the conflict comes in.

725
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 1: That was just that was just backstory's backstory though, now

726
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: we're into the conflicts.

727
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, Bruce Wayne had to become Batman somehow exactly.

728
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 1: Oh my god. We read another story the other day

729
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 1: about this woman whose parents died, like got mugged and

730
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: killed in an alleyway, and then she was.

731
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 2: Said, oh that was and they became Batman.

732
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 3: All right.

733
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,279
Speaker 2: He is semi close with his aunt's family on his

734
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 2: dad's side. Before our wedding, he check in with them

735
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 2: maybe twice a month. He has lived in a different

736
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 2: state from them ninety percent of his life, but as

737
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 2: a little yeah, parently for a good reason, but as

738
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 2: a little kid would see them a good amount. He

739
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 2: has lots of friends that he is way closer with,

740
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,320
Speaker 2: but he decided he wanted to have a family member

741
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 2: as his best man. Okay, he chose his cousin on

742
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 2: his dad's side, who's who is around the same age.

743
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 2: The aunt on his dad's side, in particular, has a

744
00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 2: history of getting into massive fights with people in the family,

745
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 2: which intimidated me a lot before I met her. But

746
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 2: when I met her and the family a couple of

747
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 2: years ago, I really liked them nice. They were super chatty, generous,

748
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 2: and overall fun. I did see the aunt briefly have

749
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 2: a fit and yell at a church staff member for

750
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 2: not letting us peak into an old, famous church while

751
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 2: a service was going on.

752
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 1: See the point, Sometimes you have to realize and remember

753
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: that churches have a point, churches their several purpose.

754
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 2: Yeah. Interesting overall, I got the vibe that if you're

755
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 2: on their good side, you'll be smothered in gifts and love.

756
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,799
Speaker 2: But if you're on their bad side, all hell will

757
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:00,760
Speaker 2: ache loose.

758
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: That's super Healthyikes.

759
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 2: Yes's not a it's a toxic relationship.

760
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: That's not good. I don't like that.

761
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 2: Run away as fast as he could run, run run.

762
00:41:13,040 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 2: Months before the wedding, I asked my husband if he

763
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 2: was going to tell his aunt's family. He said no,

764
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 2: he said no, end a story.

765
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, wait until I wait until you've done it.

766
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, he said no, as he was sure his dad

767
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:31,959
Speaker 2: would disseminate the information. His dad talks with them a lot,

768
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 2: and he didn't feel like he needed to go out

769
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 2: of his way to tell his extended family anyway. I

770
00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,400
Speaker 2: trusted him and assumed his best man and all of

771
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:44,360
Speaker 2: them knew. The day before our wedding at the rehearsal,

772
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:47,759
Speaker 2: our minister went through the ceremony script a little and

773
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 2: obviously used our combined last name a lot in the

774
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:53,240
Speaker 2: practice run. I guess the best man and the aunt's

775
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 2: family didn't know.

776
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 1: That's on the husband. That is on the husband. He

777
00:41:58,440 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: should have made sure.

778
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 2: I talked. I feel like this husband just want to

779
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 2: be confronted.

780
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 1: And yeah, he probably didn't want to have that, you know,

781
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 1: because he said he was a people pleaser. Probably didn't

782
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: want to have a whole confrontation thing. Yeah, but that

783
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 1: now it's on op and that's not fair to your partner.

784
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:23,239
Speaker 2: The day before the wedding, and where were we in

785
00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 2: a few hours after the rehearsal. Right before our rehearsal dinner,

786
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,760
Speaker 2: my husband's phone blew up with texts and calls demanding

787
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 2: he'd go to their airbnb immediately to talk. He knew

788
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,280
Speaker 2: it was going to be something bad by their tone. Really,

789
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 2: I wonder what. And I offered to go with him,

790
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 2: but he said he wanted to talk to them by himself.

791
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 2: I got to our rehearsal dinner and he texted me

792
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,479
Speaker 2: that he was going to be an hour late, which

793
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 2: is a big chunk of the party, the.

794
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 1: Rehearsal dinner to the wedding.

795
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 2: Just oh no, yeah, this was supposed to This is

796
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 2: why you should have.

797
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 1: Done this earlier. Dude, Like, obviously your family sucks.

798
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 2: But if this is how your wedding and it is

799
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 2: not even knowing, this is how your marriage is going

800
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 2: to start, not great, right, ro Regge. When he got there,

801
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 2: what okay, they're all laughing at me, ragged Uh. When

802
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:26,120
Speaker 2: he got there, we talked outside and he was clearly upset.

803
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 2: He said. All of his aunt's family plus his dad,

804
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,720
Speaker 2: maybe six people ganged up on him and were furious

805
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 2: at him, yelling and crying and demanding to know why

806
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 2: he would decide to change his last name and not

807
00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 2: tell them. I mean, that's not saying that's fair, but

808
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 2: it's the thing.

809
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 1: Is that obviously this family sucks. Yeah, but he still

810
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: hot to tell them.

811
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, let me make it very clear that they themselves

812
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,760
Speaker 2: do not have the same last name as his dad.

813
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 2: His aunt, who remarried, gave up the dad's side dad's

814
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 2: side's last name and took a new last name for

815
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 2: herself and all of her children. As per tradition, She

816
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 2: was the one leading the charge in the yelling, saying

817
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 2: he needed to have told them months earlier and they

818
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 2: would have flown across the country to talk him out

819
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:20,400
Speaker 2: of it that were the case.

820
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 6: What Oh my god, that doesn't even make sense because

821
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 6: what he has his dad's name, and everyone before was like, oh,

822
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 6: you need to have your mom's name, and now they're saying, no,

823
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,479
Speaker 6: you have to keep your dad's name.

824
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,280
Speaker 1: This doesn't make any sense. This is Yeah.

825
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 2: I think they just want to get upset about something.

826
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also if they say that he just said,

827
00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously they're probably going to make a huge

828
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,320
Speaker 1: deal out of it. But oh yeah, he just the

829
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 1: police foot down say no, we've already decided.

830
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: Don't come, don't come tomorrow, don't come. My last name's

831
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:54,959
Speaker 2: going to be yeah, Wayne.

832
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:58,240
Speaker 1: Kay Kennedy says, it's not the faans biz and Piggy

833
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:01,320
Speaker 1: Slayer says, but they're still wrong. I absolutely agree.

834
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, why are they complaining?

835
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't understand. They don't make any sense.

836
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 2: Okay. They continued to argue with him and berate him

837
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 2: for over an hour about the last name. Then they

838
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:14,839
Speaker 2: were unsure if they would come to our wedding, come

839
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 2: don't come. And when considering having this cousin drop out

840
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 2: of as the best man and all of them flying

841
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:25,960
Speaker 2: home the next day, y'all are oh my god, 'all

842
00:45:25,960 --> 00:45:27,120
Speaker 2: are really tom Petties.

843
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 1: You're too much, too much.

844
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 2: They even had the audacity to say that they expected

845
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 2: him to go to wait, expected him to go to

846
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 2: still go to our rehearsal dinner and make a speech

847
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,880
Speaker 2: to everyone there saying he heard his aunt's family so

848
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,800
Speaker 2: badly by not telling them in advance about changing the

849
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 2: last name, and they were publicly making a stand of

850
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:50,760
Speaker 2: not coming to our rehearsal dinner as a consequence. Also,

851
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 2: there needs to be a comment on here, and we're

852
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 2: considering not coming to our wedding because of what he did.

853
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 1: The aunt is telling Ope her evil or Opie's husband

854
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 1: her evil. He's like, and we're gonna send your cousin

855
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 1: to call.

856
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 2: You out to ask aban. Yeah no, that's I don't know.

857
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,400
Speaker 1: This is whack.

858
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:11,880
Speaker 2: This is really weird.

859
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 1: Whack.

860
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 2: Let's keep going. I don't know, I don't know if

861
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 2: I want to keep going. This is just getting too much.

862
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 1: I just want to be happy.

863
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 2: Do we have really like you have a happy story.

864
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 2: Am I the am I the nice person, am I

865
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 2: the Angel? Am I the Angel. When he came to

866
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 2: our rehearsal dinner, being the super sweet guy he is,

867
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,600
Speaker 2: he made a classy and kind announcement that they were

868
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 2: a little surprised by our choice of last name and

869
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 2: just needed some time to sit with it, which is

870
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:43,239
Speaker 2: why they weren't there. The whole rehearsal dinner. People were

871
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 2: wanting to talk about the aunt's family not coming, and

872
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 2: people pulled us aside the rest of the time asking

873
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 2: about it.

874
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 1: Oh my god, stop, oh god.

875
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 2: It wasn't a special moment celebrating us that night anymore.

876
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 2: It was a tainted by all the talk of this drama. Yeah,

877
00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 2: it makes sense, ruined the wedding, or at least didn't

878
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 2: ruin the wedding, But it ruined.

879
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: It's probably gonna kind of taint the next day.

880
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 2: It's definitely gonna hat the next day, especially if they

881
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 2: don't show up. Let's find out my husband was upset

882
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 2: and out of sorts. My husband out of sorts. Sorry, guys,

883
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,399
Speaker 2: I'm really bad at reading today. The entire night before

884
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,799
Speaker 2: our wedding, after that, which broke my heart and in

885
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 2: turn made me pissed that they did that. Yeah, that's reasonable.

886
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:26,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

887
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 2: They did end up coming the next day, but most

888
00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:31,359
Speaker 2: of the guests avoided them as the drama had been

889
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,920
Speaker 2: spread among the gifts. They didn't stay until the end either,

890
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 2: and left after the speeches Forriahs. Since then, I've received

891
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 2: mail from their side of the family addressing us both

892
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 2: with my husband's original last name lad I, refusing to

893
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:46,480
Speaker 2: use our real last name.

894
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, they should just return like return to

895
00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 1: sender every time it comes to them with the wrong

896
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:58,359
Speaker 1: last name, like sorry, that's actually not us, my bad,

897
00:47:59,440 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 1: wrong person.

898
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,360
Speaker 2: They also have a family group chat for wishing happy

899
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 2: birthdays and holidays for everyone in the family. It's kind

900
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 2: of a big deal for them, and they skipped my

901
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 2: birthday wishes the previous years. They sent me big gifts

902
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 2: in cards and saw my birthday stories on Instagram. By

903
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:18,479
Speaker 2: the way, you can join us live on YouTube every

904
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 2: weekday at three pm PSD. Just tap our profile. What

905
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 2: are your thoughts right now before I.

906
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 1: Before we end it, I think that maybe going no

907
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 1: contact with this side of the family until they are

908
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: going to be adults, put their put their big boy

909
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:39,040
Speaker 1: pants on and get over it because it's not It

910
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 1: really doesn't affect them at all. No, though I do,

911
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 1: I do think that it could have been somewhat avoided

912
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:49,720
Speaker 1: if the husband had.

913
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,879
Speaker 2: If the husband had brought it up. But I feel

914
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 2: like the husband just yeah, I think he defined.

915
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 1: Absolutely, it still would have had this kind of blow up,

916
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:02,120
Speaker 1: but it probably it wouldn't have hopefully been as much

917
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 1: of a problem.

918
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:06,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, the blow up would have been way earlier. It

919
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 2: wouldn't have to worry about the guess.

920
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,319
Speaker 1: Yeah learning about uh.

921
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and now it kind of embarrasses that side of

922
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 2: the family too. Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. It's a

923
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,839
Speaker 2: little embarrassing, not necessarily for you guys, but a little bit.

924
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:24,240
Speaker 1: Well, you get that kind of embarrassment of the people

925
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 1: around you, know when you have a friend or something

926
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 1: that does something bad and you're like embarrassed, even though

927
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,760
Speaker 1: it's not you, but it reflects poorly, It can reflect

928
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 1: poorly on.

929
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 2: It comes back to you, and I don't like that.

930
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 1: I don't like it.

931
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 2: Sorry, all right, let's let's go and finish it here.

932
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:45,040
Speaker 2: It was a purple purposeful snub, in my opinion. Recently,

933
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 2: they were asking his dad why my husband wasn't calling

934
00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:50,280
Speaker 2: or texting them like he used to, and my husband

935
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,760
Speaker 2: straight up told his dad that he was still upset

936
00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:57,360
Speaker 2: by the berating and how it impacted us. None of

937
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 2: them have reached out, and I honestly wouldn't want to

938
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,320
Speaker 2: talk with them again unless we get an acknowledgement of

939
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 2: wrongdoing and an apology. In my opinion, our beautiful wedding

940
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 2: and meaningful last name will forever be attached to the

941
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 2: drama of that night, and it makes me sad and mad.

942
00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:14,799
Speaker 2: So am I the a hole for wanting to keep

943
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:17,800
Speaker 2: distance Slash not talk to my in laws after this incident.

944
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:22,480
Speaker 1: No, you're not the a hole. Get that drama out

945
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:24,760
Speaker 1: of there, take up the trash.

946
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:25,799
Speaker 2: You're not the A hole.

947
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,720
Speaker 3: I just that sucks, sucks.

948
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:31,720
Speaker 1: It really sucks that this affected your wedding.

949
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:35,799
Speaker 2: Really sad, and I feel bad because now it's just

950
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 2: gonna be a thing, a thing. I don't think it

951
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 2: could have been avoided.

952
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 1: No, I think it always had to happen, and it's

953
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:44,240
Speaker 1: always probably gonna happen.

954
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 2: But the time frame, the timing could have been a

955
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 2: lot better.

956
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:51,920
Speaker 1: Indeed, indeed, a lot of not the a whole Audrey

957
00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 1: Rash says not the a hole, go in no contact

958
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 1: with them, and a lot of other people are saying

959
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: not a whole. But that is the end of this stream.

960
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:06,479
Speaker 1: But we have some donuts to read before we leave.

961
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,720
Speaker 1: For every girl Lalla flame, they give you the ten bucks.

962
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:12,120
Speaker 1: I'm the daughter of the black sheep of the family.

963
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 1: My grandmother's only favors the light skin family members, and

964
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,200
Speaker 1: my mother and I don't measure up. It sucks. It

965
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 1: really sucks when your family members suck. And there's kind

966
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,239
Speaker 1: of that like because I feel like people have this

967
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:29,400
Speaker 1: outside expectation that you have to, you know, forgive and

968
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 1: be there for your family, But sometimes your family members

969
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 1: suck and you can go no contact.

970
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,800
Speaker 2: I'm kinda in that position. That's why is it beginning,

971
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 2: I was like, this is kind of hitting home.

972
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:39,160
Speaker 1: Oh, that's tough.