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Speaker 1: Welcome to How the Money. I'm Joel and I am

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Speaker 1: Matt and today we're talking cutting the financial m biblical

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Speaker 1: cord with Bobby Rebel. So I know that may have

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Speaker 1: been a graphic title for folks, it'll make a lot

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Speaker 1: of sense here in a minute. But Bobby Rebel, she

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Speaker 1: is joining us today on the podcast, and we're gonna

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Speaker 1: we're gonna be talking about how you can avoid screwing

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Speaker 1: up your kids relationship with money. And even if you

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Speaker 1: don't have kids, right, maybe you are younger yourself, maybe

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Speaker 1: your origin ze or younger millennial. I think today's conversation

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Speaker 1: will do a great job shooting some light on why

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Speaker 1: you think and why you feel the way you do

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Speaker 1: about your personal finances. Um. But Bobby Rebel, she's a

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Speaker 1: certified financial planner, she's host of Money Tips for Financial

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Speaker 1: grown Ups podcast, and she's also the author of Launching

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Speaker 1: Financial grown Ups. Uh you know. The book is a

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Speaker 1: call to action for parents who want the best for

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Speaker 1: their kids, that are beginning to realize that their own

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Speaker 1: pursuit of financial independence and financial separation from their children

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Speaker 1: it's got to become a priority as well. And so

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Speaker 1: we're excited to talk about all of that and more today. Bobby,

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Speaker 1: thank you for joining us today on the podcast. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here, Bobby.

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Speaker 1: We're glad to have you. Of course, we ask every

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Speaker 1: guest the same initial question about what their splurges. Matt

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Speaker 1: and I we spoorge on craft beer, but we want

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Speaker 1: to know what's your splurge, what's your craft beer equivalent? Well,

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Speaker 1: so this has changed a lot, and we talked about

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Speaker 1: this a little bit before we started recording, but it

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Speaker 1: changes as you get older. And I think that my

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Speaker 1: splurge when I was younger might have been a beverage.

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Speaker 1: But I am now full on middle aged. As everyone knows,

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Speaker 1: I have children that are young adults, and so you

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Speaker 1: start to have different priorities. And we we bought an apartment,

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Speaker 1: my husband and I about fifteen years ago, and it

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Speaker 1: was sort of an original condition situation because that's what

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Speaker 1: we could afford. And you say, you're going to get

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Speaker 1: to things, and then, as I said, it's been fifteen

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Speaker 1: years and so we are finally splurging on I hate

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Speaker 1: to say this, but it is true. The bathroom of

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Speaker 1: our dreams and it is coming together beautifully as we speak.

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Speaker 1: I am in an alternate location to record this, not

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Speaker 1: my home, but it has really exciting things, guys. It

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Speaker 1: has like a heated towel bar. Did you know this

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Speaker 1: is what you asked about splurge. I mean, this is

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Speaker 1: the middle aged splurge, guys. This is where it's headed.

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Speaker 1: When you get past the beer in the champagne and

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Speaker 1: the cosmos and all that stuff. Cosmos. I've dated myself

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Speaker 1: as a gen xer, but this is where it's headed. People.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean, so I've got the towel warmer,

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Speaker 1: and we've got a rain shower. I've got a little

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Speaker 1: built in makeup makeup area, and then my husband. This

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Speaker 1: is like the real dream. This is for you middle

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Speaker 1: aged men. This is what you're probably dreaming of. It's

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Speaker 1: a really fancy toilet. I don't know what it does,

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Speaker 1: but my husband's really excited about it. I'm gonna have

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Speaker 1: to watch some YouTube videos to learn how to work

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Speaker 1: because it's got like a remote control, it's got all

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Speaker 1: kinds of stuff. It's like bananas. It's I don't know

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Speaker 1: what it is, but he's really excited about it. And

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Speaker 1: so that is our splurge. It's on updating our home,

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Speaker 1: but very specifically the bathroom China, like ten years ago,

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Speaker 1: and I just remember the thing that sticks out of

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Speaker 1: my mind from that trip was all the fancy toilets this.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I've never seen toilets like these before.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, you don't realize like what's out there. Because

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Speaker 1: so the apartment we're in, the bathroom was built I

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Speaker 1: think forty two years ago. Is it's you know, original

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Speaker 1: to the building, and it's you know, they were literally

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Speaker 1: construction problems. I mean there was leaking and all kinds

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Speaker 1: that we had to do something, and I just said,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to cheap out on it. I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, it's been fifteen years, we are living here,

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Speaker 1: we're raising our family here, and I'm tired of having

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Speaker 1: this you know, crumbling, outdated mess. And so that's the splurge.

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Speaker 1: As we're talking about history, I'm thinking about forty two

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Speaker 1: years where the history you know of folks who use

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Speaker 1: your bathroom for you did. But I need to go

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Speaker 1: there also go down that graphic path as well. But

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Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about your personal history because your dad,

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Speaker 1: he worked on Law Street when you were growing up, right,

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Speaker 1: how did that specifically influence you and you know, like,

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Speaker 1: what were the conversations just around the dinner table like

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Speaker 1: with him as you were growing up. Well, thank you

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Speaker 1: for asking that. Yeah, And the book, by the way,

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Speaker 1: is dedicated to my dad. And it's been very interesting

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Speaker 1: seeing his reaction to the book and to sort of

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Speaker 1: what I took away from the lessons that he taught

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Speaker 1: me growing up that he wasn't as deliberate as I

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Speaker 1: think I am in terms of teaching my children. And

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Speaker 1: so he's like, yeah, I did do that. That was smart.

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Speaker 1: So that's always interesting. But he started out so he look,

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Speaker 1: it was a different era. My mother didn't really have

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Speaker 1: a career until she went back to law school when

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Speaker 1: I was in middle school. My thought so it was,

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Speaker 1: you know, she was a homemaker and my dad was

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Speaker 1: he had gone to school to be a lawyer. And

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Speaker 1: what's interesting is he figured out as a lawyer that

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Speaker 1: he was doing these deals and he kind of figured

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Speaker 1: out that he was being paid hourly and the bankers

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Speaker 1: on the other side of the deal, we're being paid

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Speaker 1: by the deal. And so he said, well, I want

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Speaker 1: to kind of do the same thing, but I want

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Speaker 1: to sit on the other side of the table. So

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Speaker 1: I can get paid by the deal, and that really

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Speaker 1: informed how he ended up being successful on Wall Street.

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Speaker 1: He was able to kind of make that switch from

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Speaker 1: being a lawyer to investment banking, and it taught me

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Speaker 1: that if you want to do something, find the area

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Speaker 1: of it that maybe is a little bit more lucrative.

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Speaker 1: So I am a journalist, and I originally thought I

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Speaker 1: would do local news. I wanted to do television, but

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Speaker 1: I realized and my father helped me realize this that's

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Speaker 1: in the book a little bit um that if I

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Speaker 1: did business news and financial news economic stories, that would

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Speaker 1: pay more and also it would give me the lifestyle

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Speaker 1: that I wanted because it was somewhat more regular hours.

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Speaker 1: I still I've worked quite a few overnights in my day,

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Speaker 1: but it would allow me to live in New York

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Speaker 1: City near my family. I grew up in suburb in

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Speaker 1: New Jersey, and it would give me a corporate job

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Speaker 1: with benefits, which was very important to me at the time.

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Speaker 1: So sort of looking at your goals, but finding the

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Speaker 1: niche that makes sense with where you want to be

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Speaker 1: in life is something really important that he taught me.

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Speaker 1: That's great. Yeah, it sounds like he was kind of

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Speaker 1: pushing you in a direction. Was there any resistance on

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Speaker 1: on your on your behalf or or were you kind

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Speaker 1: of like sure, Dad, that sounds great. Um, Like, what

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Speaker 1: were those conversations between the two of you. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: this is such a good question because my dad and

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Speaker 1: I are talking about this now because he remembers it

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Speaker 1: very differently. Um. He really wanted me to work on

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Speaker 1: Wall Street, and so the compromise when I was in

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Speaker 1: college was that I would instead of doing an internship

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Speaker 1: at in general news, I would work in financial news.

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Speaker 1: I actually had an internship at CNN where I did

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Speaker 1: volunteer to go in overnight because I was a little

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Speaker 1: nuts at the time. But um, well that's where I

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Speaker 1: could get a lot of experience because they needed people more. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, it made sense except to anyone except for me.

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Speaker 1: Was on the morning show. I know what, I know

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Speaker 1: what that's like. Yeah, but that's where you get your start,

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Speaker 1: and that's where you can really make a lot of

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Speaker 1: headway very quickly. So his idea was that I would

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Speaker 1: learn about Wall Street and I would meet all of

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Speaker 1: these people that you know work on Wall Street in

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Speaker 1: actual Wall Street job, not journalism. Through all the guests

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Speaker 1: that would come through CNN, and then I would go

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Speaker 1: work on Wall Street in a job not not be

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Speaker 1: a journalist. And so that part didn't work out, and

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Speaker 1: he sort of denies that. He says, oh, I was

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Speaker 1: always supportive of journalism. I never said you should do that.

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Speaker 1: That's not true. Let me tell you, guys, I got

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Speaker 1: a CFP in and he even then said, oh, are

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Speaker 1: you making a career pivot? Are you going to go

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Speaker 1: work on Wall Street? And that was five years ago, guys.

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Speaker 1: So you know, it's a compromise. And and that that

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Speaker 1: goes to the point of the book that you can't

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Speaker 1: make your kids something they're not going to be. You

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Speaker 1: can guide them, you can tell them how it's going

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Speaker 1: to play out, but there's only so much you can do.

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Speaker 1: They are not you. They are your children, and so

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Speaker 1: they'll have a lot of your characteristics, but they're going

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Speaker 1: to live their own life, that's right. Yeah, Well, speaking

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Speaker 1: of kids raising financial grown ups, that doesn't happen all

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Speaker 1: at once. It doesn't happen like you can't just flip

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Speaker 1: a switch like uh in their senior year of high

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Speaker 1: school or something like that. Uh. And so as kids

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Speaker 1: are younger, like talked with something about the some of

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Speaker 1: the different tactics you took when your kids when they

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Speaker 1: were younger, maybe in hopes that some of those lessons

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Speaker 1: would actually stick. You know, you've got a history, you've

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Speaker 1: got a background covering finances. What did it look like

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Speaker 1: for you raising younger kids. I think it's important to

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Speaker 1: make it part of the everyday conversation and not separate

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Speaker 1: it as sort of a lesson per se. So, for example,

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Speaker 1: if you go to the doctor, depending on what age

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Speaker 1: they are, what's appropriate, you might start talking to them

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Speaker 1: about how health insurance works. When you hand over the card,

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Speaker 1: or even if it's a virtual card, you know, show

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Speaker 1: them on your phone what's going on. Well, I'm giving

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Speaker 1: them insurance information. They may not fully register what insurances,

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Speaker 1: but you can explain high concept that this is in

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Speaker 1: case something really bad happens, we only have to pay

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Speaker 1: part of it. You can, you know, sort of gradually

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Speaker 1: drip that in. And I tell the story of I

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Speaker 1: had to go to the doctor with my son and

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Speaker 1: it was December, and he was about ten years old,

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Speaker 1: and he could understand at that point, and he sort

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Speaker 1: of gave me the eye roll, which you get. You

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Speaker 1: will get that when I started telling him, well, I'm

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Speaker 1: not stressed out about how much this is going to

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Speaker 1: cost because we already met our deductible. It's December. Thank god,

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Speaker 1: this didn't happen in January, right, So you can sort

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Speaker 1: of say those things and they might not get a

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Speaker 1: percent of what you're talking about, but over time it

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Speaker 1: will start to sink in and they probably will know

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Speaker 1: more than you realize if you just take those moments.

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Speaker 1: What's your take on maybe some of some of the

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Speaker 1: other ways that a parent can kind of help their

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Speaker 1: kids understand the value of a dollar. It just makes

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Speaker 1: me think back to when I was a kid. My

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Speaker 1: parents would have like strict limits on certain items, like

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Speaker 1: what they would pay for. So, for instance, I always

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Speaker 1: wanted the hot new basketball shoes. I wanted the Scottie

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Speaker 1: Pippens or whatever, and they were really expensive. They're like

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Speaker 1: a hundred fifty bucks, and my parents like, listen, our

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Speaker 1: cap is forty bucks or fifty bucks today with the

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Speaker 1: place and those hues are like four times as much.

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Speaker 1: But but so yeah, my parents would always set a limit,

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Speaker 1: and then if I really wanted that thing, I would

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Speaker 1: have to save up my money and I would have

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Speaker 1: to have some skin in the game. Yeah, what do

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Speaker 1: you think about like those kinds of tactics or are

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Speaker 1: there things along those lines that you think can can

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Speaker 1: help kids understand the value of money as you know,

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Speaker 1: as they're growing up. I think that's the perfect way

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Speaker 1: to teach them. And what has happened in my own

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Speaker 1: experience is sometimes maybe when they have to save their

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Speaker 1: own money for it, they make adjustments in terms of

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Speaker 1: what they want. So even now, we're planning a family

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Speaker 1: vacation and my five year old said, oh, let's get

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Speaker 1: this upgraded package on the cruise ship we're going. We're

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Speaker 1: going to go to Alaska, and you know, and she's

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Speaker 1: a good little shopper, you know, she tried to talk

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Speaker 1: us into the trip. She's like, oh, dad, can get

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Speaker 1: the senior discount. Like, okay, hold up there. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if we want to tell them that one, but um,

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Speaker 1: you know, they're like, let's get the upgraded beverage you

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Speaker 1: know package, And I said, no, we're not doing that,

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Speaker 1: but you and your boyfriend, you guys can do that

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Speaker 1: if that's something important to you, and they haven't. So

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Speaker 1: it works at all ages. It works for anybody, no

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Speaker 1: matter what's going on. If you give them skin in

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Speaker 1: the game, they may they may still want it, and

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Speaker 1: that's fine, they're gonna work for it. But you know,

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Speaker 1: their perception may change when it's their own money. Even

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Speaker 1: if they do spend it, they'll appreciate it so much more.

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Speaker 1: And that's just human. If we're just you know, if

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Speaker 1: we have something you know, you talk about as you

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Speaker 1: go through life stages and maybe you can afford more,

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Speaker 1: and we have lifestyle creep, a purchase that would have

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Speaker 1: been devastating to you or really something you would have

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Speaker 1: really priced out now may not be so significant, and

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Speaker 1: so you take it for granted, you don't value it

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Speaker 1: as much as we go through life and we can

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Speaker 1: if we hopefully have more and more money, we can

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Speaker 1: afford it more. It doesn't pinch us as much. We

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Speaker 1: often don't even appreciate it as much as we might

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Speaker 1: have beforehand. Yeah, So those everyday sort of things like

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Speaker 1: it just makes me think. Recently, we're at a local

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Speaker 1: farmers market on a Saturday morning. There is a like

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Speaker 1: a rocks and gems vendor there. You know what I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about, Like the guys that selica, you know, the

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Speaker 1: polished rocks basically, and all of our girls, all three

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Speaker 1: of our girls, wanted to get something. And our oldest

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Speaker 1: daughter she dropped like seventeen bucks, which for some rocks.

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Speaker 1: To me, that seems like a lot of money. But

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Speaker 1: you know, we're like, you know what, you can totally

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Speaker 1: get this, but this is gonna come out of your money,

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Speaker 1: and you know we we covered it there on the

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Speaker 1: spot because we weren't expecting them to buy anything at

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Speaker 1: the farmers market. But when we got home, she went

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Speaker 1: ahead and you know we we exchanged the money and

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Speaker 1: those small little touch points along the way, just like

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Speaker 1: you said, kind of like those everyday conversations I think

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Speaker 1: can go a long way, even if they don't completely

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Speaker 1: stick in the moment. We're kind of like building up

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Speaker 1: a repository of experiences and information in them. So as

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Speaker 1: we're talking about just how we parent. Like we've all

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Speaker 1: heard of the term helicopter parenting. I feel like that's

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Speaker 1: been going on for like a decade or two. You

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Speaker 1: guys helicopter parents. Oh, I'm like the opposite. I don't

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Speaker 1: even talk to my kids, so it's yeah, I tend

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Speaker 1: to be more on the like the other, like the

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Speaker 1: free range kind of spectrum, but like you've also heard

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Speaker 1: about like the snowplow parenting style as well, all of

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Speaker 1: these are kind of a little more in vogue. But

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Speaker 1: what is your take? Is there a better approach when

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Speaker 1: it comes to how it is that we teach our kids,

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Speaker 1: you know, not just life lessons, but specifically money lessons.

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Speaker 1: So this is so much the inspiration of the book,

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Speaker 1: So I'm glad that you brought it up. And and

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Speaker 1: when the kids get older, you know, you can move

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Speaker 1: into what I like to refer to as concierge parenting,

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Speaker 1: where you're sort of available at all times to solve

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Speaker 1: their problems, often with money. So it's something that can

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Speaker 1: really get expensive as the kids get older. So it's

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Speaker 1: important to just have that sort of give yourself a

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Speaker 1: little check in and and say does my kid really

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Speaker 1: need me to do this? What would happen if I

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Speaker 1: just let it play out and I observed rather than

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Speaker 1: get involved. And it's really hard because sometimes it won't

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Speaker 1: go well. I try to have I have a fourteen

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Speaker 1: year old and I'll say to him, well, I want

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Speaker 1: you to schedule a once a week um check in

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Speaker 1: extra help with your math teacher, and I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to schedule it. I want you to schedule it and

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Speaker 1: you to see see me on the email, and it

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Speaker 1: doesn't happen so fast, and I have to kind of

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Speaker 1: ask him three or four times, but I do that

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Speaker 1: rather than setting it up myself. UM, so it's sort

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Speaker 1: of you're you're there and supporting them, but you're still

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Speaker 1: you know, I joke about that, make them press the

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Speaker 1: keys on the keyboard. You know that that really matters

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Speaker 1: because it would be much easier if I sent it

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Speaker 1: and secd him. But it's really important that he learned

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Speaker 1: to engage directly with his teachers at this age. He's

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Speaker 1: in eighth grade, so at this age, it's age appropriate

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Speaker 1: for him to set up the appointment directly with his

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Speaker 1: teachers and to have that ownership and to show up

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Speaker 1: and to not be waiting for me to remind him.

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Speaker 1: It depends on not only the age, but where your

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Speaker 1: child is in terms of their emotional maturity and where

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Speaker 1: they're at in their growth cycle. And that's also really important,

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Speaker 1: is that every kid is different at different ages and

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Speaker 1: will be a very different person, even if you have

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Speaker 1: multiple children, trust me, totally different personalities in almost every case. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean it makes me think, like I have a

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Speaker 1: two and a half year old right now, and it's

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Speaker 1: like a terrible parent here, but he has fallen off

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Speaker 1: the trampoline twice. Uh and and so yeah, he's he's

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Speaker 1: been fine and and I think he's learned a lesson

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Speaker 1: from it. But it's one of those things where where um,

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Speaker 1: when he's younger, let's say, even if he was a

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Speaker 1: little bit younger than that, like I would have to

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Speaker 1: be right there the whole time to make sure that

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Speaker 1: didn't happen. And then it was like, okay, he's with

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Speaker 1: the sisters on there, he's two and a half. I

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Speaker 1: think I can I can go sit on the porch

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Speaker 1: and watch. And then it was like wait, maybe I

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Speaker 1: maybe I can't yet. But you're kind of there's that

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Speaker 1: delving into birth order territory. It's like that would have

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Speaker 1: never have happened to your first that's true, But there's

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Speaker 1: a learning experience too as you get to see, like

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Speaker 1: you you get a little bit further away and you're like,

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Speaker 1: can they handle this? And then maybe you gotta jemp

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Speaker 1: back in for a little bit, But then yeah, you

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Speaker 1: can push back out because now they've learned their lesson.

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Speaker 1: But I want to move beyond parenting styles too. Probably

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Speaker 1: I want to ask you, um, how do you handle

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Speaker 1: discussing generational differences? Because you know gen z Ear's young millennials,

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Speaker 1: they have different wants and desires than they're then they're

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Speaker 1: typically gen X parents, and so how do you help

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Speaker 1: without trying to necessarily get them to adopt all of

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Speaker 1: your personal values or the completely buy into the way

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Speaker 1: you view everything? So full disclosure say something I have

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Speaker 1: way too much experience with as an example, and I

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Speaker 1: talk about this in the book. My stepdaughter, who's twenty five,

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Speaker 1: during the pandemic, she decided that even though she was

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Speaker 1: living at home saving for an apartment, that was something

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Speaker 1: she wanted to do since she was thirteen years old.

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Speaker 1: She and her boyfriend were going to get season passes

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Speaker 1: for Disney World. We live in New York City, Disney

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Speaker 1: World in Florida. There's a pandemic, and this is where

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Speaker 1: my financially responsible child right is spending. I'm like, you

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Speaker 1: gotta be kidding me, so that all that? Now, would

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Speaker 1: I have understood if she said I need a work wardrobe.

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Speaker 1: You know, let's say we weren't all home whatever, I

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Speaker 1: would have totally understood that right. She didn't care about

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Speaker 1: that stuff. So she basically took my old clothes. I

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Speaker 1: used to be a TV anchor. She just took that clothing.

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Speaker 1: She's like, I'm good to go. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: buy I don't want to spend my money on clothing.

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Speaker 1: I'm not interested. I'll take your old purses. Good to

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Speaker 1: go doesn't care. But she really cares about those experiences

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Speaker 1: and having those season passes, and that was really hard.

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Speaker 1: And actually the epilogue of the book is actually defending

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Speaker 1: the season passes to Disney World because it became I

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Speaker 1: was mortified. I mean, I'm like, You've got to be

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Speaker 1: kidding me. I would never do that ever, ever, Forget

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Speaker 1: about the pandemic, forget about having other financial priorities. I

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Speaker 1: just wouldn't do that. We don't live in Florida. But

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Speaker 1: for her it made total sense because a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: you know, she's sort of on the borderline millennial um

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Speaker 1: gen z. A lot of people you know, that's that's

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Speaker 1: what they value in the generation, is that that's where

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Speaker 1: she's going to be vacationing and having that experience. That's

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Speaker 1: what she loves to do. So that's her financial priority,

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Speaker 1: and I've had a really hard time accepting it. So

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Speaker 1: it's important to just listen to them and let it be.

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Speaker 1: Don't get in there and mix in. It's their money,

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Speaker 1: it's their money, and you have to let them do stuff,

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Speaker 1: even if you just don't understand. I don't understand to

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Speaker 1: this day. I read the epilogue, I get it sort of,

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Speaker 1: but I would never do that. It still feels like

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Speaker 1: a foreign concept to you. And how she's spending her money, right,

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Speaker 1: and so so obviously that's one as like, that's one

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Speaker 1: aspect of money is is how you spend it. Do

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Speaker 1: you see a difference in how she approaches other aspects

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Speaker 1: of personal finances, like whether that's in how she earns

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Speaker 1: her money, how she just her attitude towards it in general,

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Speaker 1: or maybe even how she invests her money. Absolutely, um, now,

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Speaker 1: I think she has been influenced by me to some degree.

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Speaker 1: When you have a mom that's doing this or a stepmom,

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Speaker 1: but she is. You know, she's very focused on her

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Speaker 1: career first before getting married and having kids. She's really

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Speaker 1: made financial stability and security a priority for her, and

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Speaker 1: she's very intentional in her career. She originally wanted to

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Speaker 1: be a teacher. And when she looked at the upside economics,

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Speaker 1: which some teachers are actually paid pretty well. You can

403
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Speaker 1: make a very solid living as a teacher in many

404
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Speaker 1: areas these days, but the upside is generally limited. And

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Speaker 1: she looked at her other skill set, and she's very good.

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Speaker 1: I hate to say this, but she can really had

407
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Speaker 1: computers pretty well. She's dat um. But what's the upside

408
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Speaker 1: of that, right, Let's use that skill for good. So

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Speaker 1: she works as a cybersecurity consultant and her yeah, I

410
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Speaker 1: mean she's already been. She's been at her at a

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Speaker 1: consulting firm for a few years. She gets recruited by

412
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Speaker 1: other companies. We'll see how it evolves, but I think

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Speaker 1: she'll be out earning all of us very soon the

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Speaker 1: way things are going. So she really thought about doing

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Speaker 1: something that she was good at and passionate about, but

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Speaker 1: also really thinking about the ability for her to fund

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Speaker 1: the lifestyle she wants that. She really is very interested

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Speaker 1: in travel and experiences, and that is something very native

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Speaker 1: to her generation. So I think that approach is unique.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I gave my career as much thought

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Speaker 1: in terms of the finances, despite my father's frustrations. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think that's good. I think to a way to

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Speaker 1: approach that conversation is to not maybe shut down their

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Speaker 1: idea of what they want to do, but to say, well, like,

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Speaker 1: here's the way, here's the here are the gifts you

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00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,359
Speaker 1: use in that profession, and here are other professions that

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00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,320
Speaker 1: might interest you, And that kind of spurs a conversation

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Speaker 1: as opposed to be like no, no, no, I want

429
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 1: you to do what I want you to do, and

430
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,600
Speaker 1: that shuts everything down. Um, But Bobby, we've got some

431
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 1: more questions we want to get to, including just some

432
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,640
Speaker 1: milestone shifts that have really taken place and how it's

433
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,399
Speaker 1: understandable maybe that folks in the younger generation think about

434
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 1: money and responsibility a little bit differently. We'll get to

435
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 1: some some topics on that right after this. All right,

436
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,639
Speaker 1: we're back from the break and we're talking with Bobby

437
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:28,240
Speaker 1: Rebel Joel. You just teased about like the milestone shifts, right,

438
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 1: and so we're gonna kind of talk about teens here

439
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 1: in general. But but Bobby, you know, you say that

440
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:36,399
Speaker 1: things like that they really are different for the upcoming generations,

441
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,159
Speaker 1: things like being able to stay on their parents health

442
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: insurance until the age of twenty six. Like that's the

443
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 1: an example, But how should parents think about what feels

444
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,520
Speaker 1: like a slower transition into adulthood. That seems to be

445
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:52,200
Speaker 1: happening more these days. So I'd really like to look

446
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,400
Speaker 1: at the positive of this, and there is so much

447
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 1: positive happening. So for example, the a c A, the

448
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 1: Affordable Care Act, as you mentioned, it allows kids to

449
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,959
Speaker 1: stay on our insurance until twenty six. Although I want

450
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 1: to say the caveat because it's a money show. That's

451
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 1: not always true for I and dental, so please check

452
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 1: your plan um. But it gives them the freedom to

453
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,480
Speaker 1: explore without that pressure. I mean, I remember, you know

454
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 1: in theory I look back, I wish I had taken

455
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,879
Speaker 1: a year off, a gap year after graduating from college,

456
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 1: but I felt pressure to get a job right away.

457
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 1: And one of those pressures is that you want those

458
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 1: corporate benefits. So it's really wonderful that this generation doesn't

459
00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,399
Speaker 1: have that kind of pressure. The downside, of course, is

460
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 1: that a lot of companies don't then feel their pressure

461
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,600
Speaker 1: to provide that as a priority for young people when

462
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 1: they're recruiting them. They can keep people on as contractors,

463
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,040
Speaker 1: they can you know they can put kids in sort

464
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 1: of a gig economy situation when that's not their choice.

465
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 1: But the upside also is, for example, if you have

466
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 1: a kid that wants to start their own business, they

467
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 1: can stay on your health insurance. That's a huge benefit

468
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: to give them some breathing room to do that. We

469
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: also don't have the stigma that we had for Gen xers,

470
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,399
Speaker 1: where if we lived at home after graduation, we were

471
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: kind of labeled as slackers. That's no longer the case now.

472
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 1: I think it's perceived as being smart. We have much

473
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 1: closer relationships with our kids, in large part because of technology.

474
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,240
Speaker 1: When I was dropped up of college, I had a computer,

475
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: but that was sort of a new thing to have

476
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,399
Speaker 1: my own computer, and I certainly wasn't emailing. We didn't

477
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,959
Speaker 1: have email to our parents, and we did not have

478
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,199
Speaker 1: texting or face time or any of that. So you

479
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:24,719
Speaker 1: kind of had to figure it out when you were

480
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,000
Speaker 1: at college on your own or with your roommates and

481
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 1: bond with them and really be immersed in that experience.

482
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,120
Speaker 1: Now the ties to your parents are much stronger. There's

483
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 1: a lot of good that comes from that. But you

484
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:39,120
Speaker 1: also have a lot of kids in college, asking their

485
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 1: parents constantly for help and things that maybe they would

486
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 1: just figure out on their own if they didn't have

487
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 1: that option. So there's a delicate balance there. I would

488
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,400
Speaker 1: like to think of it as more positive than negative.

489
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: But we also have to be aware that it allows

490
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 1: for this extended period of adolescence which can really go

491
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,640
Speaker 1: well passed college in many cases. So basically they're they're

492
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 1: like too, so that you can use to can continue

493
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 1: to build a healthy relationship with your kid as they

494
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,160
Speaker 1: as they leave the nest, as they grow into young adulthood.

495
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: But it can also maybe be some sort of it

496
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: can be a crutch that you lean on in your

497
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,239
Speaker 1: relationship or that your child maybe it's too dependent on you,

498
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 1: So you probably have to create good boundaries and rules

499
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: surrounding how you interact. Um. You know, when you're apart,

500
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 1: what is that? What what you'd say? You're correct? And

501
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,719
Speaker 1: also what's happened is a lot of gen xers are

502
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,719
Speaker 1: reactive to the fact that when we grew up we

503
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 1: did not have a lot of supervision at home. We

504
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 1: joked that we were the latch key kids. We were

505
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: just sort of sent out to play outside, and we

506
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:44,360
Speaker 1: were and I said, to my little brother the other day,

507
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 1: I said, you know, my you know, the youngest of

508
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,919
Speaker 1: our children is going to be in in college in

509
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 1: five years. So I feel like in five years we

510
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 1: can take sort of you know, a loan trips with

511
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 1: just my husband and I, you know, without having to

512
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,479
Speaker 1: worry about you know, really it's tough to have someone

513
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 1: watch him for an ace in a period of time

514
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: because you want someone who's sort of involved because it's

515
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 1: high school coming up and all that. And I said, well,

516
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: how did our mom and dad do that? Because I

517
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 1: remember them doing that at much younger age. Is my

518
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: mom passed away at sixty two, so this was happening

519
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 1: in her you know, fourties and fifties that they were doing.

520
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 1: They did epic trips and travel. And my brother said,

521
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 1: they just left us alone. And I'm like, what do

522
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: you mean. He's like, we were alone. We didn't our

523
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 1: aunt lived down the block like students are right. But

524
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: but but the reaction is that we overparent our kids

525
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 1: because we feel that we don't want that for them.

526
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: So we you know, even the dad's and again, so

527
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,439
Speaker 1: much good, overall, good, good, good dads are so much

528
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 1: more involved. I mean, think how many parents. Let's be honest,

529
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,120
Speaker 1: your guys, how many parents do you know not by

530
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 1: their full name or you don't even know their profession,

531
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 1: You just know they're Johnny's dad, right, literally could not

532
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: help you couldn't say three sentences about them about like

533
00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 1: anything beyond their kid. Right. Identities are so tied to

534
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: our children, and so it's really hard for us to

535
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 1: let go in the same way. And we have a

536
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 1: much more informal relationship with our children. Again, so good,

537
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: great stuff. They feel so much more comfortable coming to

538
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: us with problems. They're including us in finding solutions. But

539
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: we just have to make sure that we let them

540
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 1: know that we believe in them, that they can also

541
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 1: solve them themselves. Were there for them, We're there, We'll

542
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 1: chat it out with them. Well, well, you know, go

543
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,800
Speaker 1: through different ideas, but we can't, especially with money. We

544
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 1: have to stop writing checks to solve the problem. We

545
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 1: can contribute, we can help, we can present ideas, but

546
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: we can't just you know, like I said with the

547
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 1: concierge parenting, we can't just whip about the checkbook. And

548
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: you know, it's like if you have a kid doing

549
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: Girl Scouts, you can't you don't just buy all the

550
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,919
Speaker 1: cookies while they're off at college. Is like, can I

551
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: can I get you some new towels? I can just

552
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: show up and drop those off at your apartment door.

553
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: That is not what you're looking to do. Yeah, all

554
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: kidding aside, Yes, you could just go on Amazon and

555
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 1: have towels delivered. You could do that, But at what

556
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 1: caused that? You know, what kind of damage might you

557
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 1: be be causing? Uh, and you know kind of stuff.

558
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: That's right, right, right, The towels won't kill them. But

559
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: but it's the idea, that's all the little things that

560
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: I gotta think, right. It's it's not that like, oh,

561
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: is there anything wrong with the towels, or oh is

562
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 1: there anything wrong with a certain amount of money trickling

563
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: in every week or something like that. But like you said,

564
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 1: I think it truly is going back to what you

565
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: said before the break, I think it is sort of

566
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 1: those everyday conversations that that have a big impact on

567
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 1: them over time. And you know, you're kind of talking

568
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: about kids off that college. I wanted to get your

569
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,360
Speaker 1: your thoughts on five twenty nine plans because obviously there's

570
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 1: a lot of positive things that can be said about them.

571
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:43,199
Speaker 1: But are many parents prioritizing the ability to help their

572
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 1: kids pay for college to the detriment of their own retirement.

573
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,359
Speaker 1: I feel like that's something that we've seen and I'd

574
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 1: like to hear you talk about that, yes, not only

575
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: prioritizing college, but just prioritizing subsidizing their kids life and

576
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: what they need at ages that it's not really as

577
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: necessary as they take it upon themselves. In other words,

578
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,360
Speaker 1: that will often subsidize their child without the child asking.

579
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 1: And this is, you know, going beyond just funding college.

580
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: But they're often tempted to just pay for things because

581
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 1: they want to be there for their kid and they

582
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 1: love them so much. It's all coming from a good place,

583
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 1: and they want to know that they want their kids

584
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: to feel secure and taking care of. And again, it's

585
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,400
Speaker 1: tough to cut that tie when you're so your identity

586
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 1: is so tied to your child, but it absolutely can

587
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: come at the detriment of our own retirement. And that's

588
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 1: a lot of what prompted me to write this book,

589
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 1: because ultimately, if you are so busy subsidizing your child's life,

590
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,840
Speaker 1: especially when they can or should be doing it themselves

591
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 1: funding their own life, it is a real specific danger

592
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 1: and their statistics in the book. I don't want to

593
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,880
Speaker 1: misquote it, but I think it's about sevent parents according

594
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 1: to bank Rada. I don't I don't want to misquote it.

595
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,199
Speaker 1: You know, we'll we'll take money from their own personal

596
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: savings to help their adult child. It's just too much

597
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: and and and when you get to that point, what

598
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,479
Speaker 1: I would urge parents to do is think carefully. How

599
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 1: would you feel if your child had to support you

600
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: in your retirement if you had to ask your kid

601
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,679
Speaker 1: for money? Number One, if you haven't set them up

602
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 1: to be financial grown ups, they might not be able to.

603
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 1: But let's pretend that they are. Okay. You just don't

604
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: want to do that, especially when you're in retirement and

605
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 1: they're probably in the clutch years where they've got little

606
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 1: kids running around and they want to say for college

607
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: for their kids. Right, you don't want to be asking

608
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: your kids that. So it's important to prioritize your own

609
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: you know, it's sort of like the airline with put

610
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,640
Speaker 1: your oxygen mask on first. If you don't take care

611
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 1: of your retirement first, how are you going to be

612
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: there for your kids? And how are you going to

613
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: not ask them for money later on. So it's really

614
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 1: important to be tuned into what you can afford and

615
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 1: making sure that if you weren't there, they can take

616
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 1: care of at the very least themselves, and if something

617
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 1: tragic and unexpected happened, that they could take care of you.

618
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: And that's something that happened in COVID, some kids had

619
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: to take care of their parents. So it's really just

620
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: smart money management to make sure your kids can step up.

621
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: You hope they never have to, but in a pinch,

622
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,520
Speaker 1: make sure they have the financial education and the you know,

623
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 1: the security, the foundation to to be there for you.

624
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: But we hope that never happens, right, I mean yeah,

625
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 1: because in the moment, it seems like a noble cause

626
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 1: right to say that, Like, of course I would draw

627
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 1: from my own retirement. Of course we would tap into

628
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 1: our own nest egg in order to support to support

629
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 1: our kids. But what you're saying is to kind of

630
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 1: look down the road and look at what the natural

631
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 1: outcome of that might be. And just like you said,

632
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: that might mean you not having enough for yourself, and

633
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: then the tables are turned and there's a longer term

634
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 1: burden that's placed on your kids if you if if

635
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: you put the priority in the wrong place, and if

636
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: you put the priority more on helping them in the

637
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 1: here and now then on making sure you're doing the

638
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,080
Speaker 1: right thing for yourself by putting continue to stock money

639
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,000
Speaker 1: away inside of those retirement accounts um and if you're

640
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 1: instead syphoning some of that away to support your your

641
00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: your young adult child, then that could essentially put them

642
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: um in a in a difficult spot later on in

643
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: their life when they're you know, in their career, having

644
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: young kids, all that kind of stuff, and give them

645
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: credit for being able to take care of themselves at

646
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 1: you know, whatever age is appropriate for them. I had

647
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: a friend that shared with me that she found out

648
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 1: in her forties that her father, who was like, I

649
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 1: think in his seventies by then, had finally finished paying

650
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 1: off her student loans. Now she didn't even know that

651
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: he was still paying them. She had paid off her

652
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: portion and he never said a word, and somehow it

653
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,959
Speaker 1: came out that he had made the last payment. And

654
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 1: she was mortified because all these years she was kind

655
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: of galvanting around living her life, not not ridiculously, but

656
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: she you know, she had no stress about student loan debt,

657
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 1: and she could have paid that, and she had no idea.

658
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: And she was so sad that he had spent so

659
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 1: much of his life paying off her student debt and

660
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 1: she had no idea. So be transparent with your kids

661
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: and let them know if you have financial stress that

662
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 1: maybe is not appropriate. Keep those communication lines open, especially

663
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 1: if you have a very successful kid. Don't be subsidizing

664
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: them and they don't need it. You know, how do

665
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 1: you think we should view boomerang kids? Because COVID obviously

666
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,440
Speaker 1: has has kind of had an impact on this more

667
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 1: more young adults who are in college coming back to

668
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 1: the house had to come back to the house to

669
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: like they couldn't stay in our college dorm anymore, right,

670
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 1: and so that even you know, we talked about the

671
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,120
Speaker 1: health insurance, the Affordable Care Act and how that's impacted things,

672
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 1: but but even just the pandemic has impacted how we

673
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: view young adults moving back into the house. So how

674
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 1: do you think parents should view that? Should they let

675
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: their kids move back in after they graduate before they

676
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 1: launch all the way? Like, what do you think about

677
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 1: a soft landing spot for a period of time versus

678
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 1: enabling your kid and letting them live in the basement

679
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 1: for the next decade, Okay, removed the for the next

680
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: decade part. And other than that, I love it. I

681
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,719
Speaker 1: think it's I think it's it's wonderful. I really do.

682
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,000
Speaker 1: I think it's wonderful that we have these evolved relationships

683
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 1: with our children in our generation for the most part,

684
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,920
Speaker 1: and that we can be a resource, especially when you know,

685
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: having a kid live at home often doesn't really cost

686
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 1: anything out of pocket. Mean, we we had that with Ashley,

687
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 1: and we're going to have that. My stepson's graduating UM

688
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 1: in a couple of months, and we we are insisting

689
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,560
Speaker 1: that you move home and stock away a lot of

690
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 1: money for I hope at least a year, because I

691
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: think that's a wonderful gift to give to your child

692
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: if that's something they also want. I don't know that

693
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 1: you want to force them if they want to go

694
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 1: work in a different city, if they have a different opportunity,

695
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 1: of course that is fine. But I love that the

696
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 1: stigma has gone away. I love that this whole idea

697
00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 1: of being perceived as a slacker is no longer the

698
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 1: norm because we can give our kids a head start

699
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 1: in that way, and life is hard enough. I talked

700
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 1: on the book about you know, if you have people

701
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: you can introduce your kids to do it, make sure

702
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,720
Speaker 1: they're ready and they're going to follow up, but make

703
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 1: connections help them out. There's an example of the guy

704
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,840
Speaker 1: who's he's now His name is Jason Fiffer, he's um.

705
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 1: He runs Entrepreneur magazine, and he talks about the fact

706
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 1: that when he got this opportunity to move from they

707
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: believe they were in Florida to move for a new

708
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: job to New York City, and he really didn't have

709
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: the resources to pay for the move and initially for

710
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: the partment. His parents helped him because it helped him

711
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 1: take that better job right, and they gradually pulled away

712
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 1: the support as he was able to stand more and

713
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 1: more on his own. But we should absolutely help tee

714
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 1: up our kids for success if we have the resources,

715
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 1: and generally letting them live at home for a defined

716
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: period of time with a specifical and a specific exit

717
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,080
Speaker 1: strategy can be a wonderful gift to give to our kids.

718
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 1: I like that. And then when when you're getting towards

719
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: that the end of that period of time, it's the

720
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 1: key word to make it a little a little more prickly.

721
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 1: So comfortable. Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah, don't don't don't make

722
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 1: it too comportable. Don't like, you know, give them TV

723
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 1: dinners every night or whatever. But as you know, could

724
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:41,280
Speaker 1: it could be a lovely situation. My parents laundry. My

725
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: parents let me move back in for like five or

726
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 1: six months. At this one point, I was I was

727
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 1: already in my career and um, you know, my my

728
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: roommate was leaving and it was a great place to

729
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: land until I bought my first house. And so I

730
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: really appreciate the fact that I was back for for

731
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: those for that time, we had a nice time together,

732
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 1: but it was also like all right, how long are

733
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 1: you here? And are you when are you going? And

734
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: I appreciate that they kind of had that attitude too,

735
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 1: But I think it's good to talk about it. Let's

736
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 1: sort of like, I mean, hopefully that's the natural conversation

737
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 1: they had, as opposed to just making it undesirable to

738
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 1: live there, right, like just glaring at least, not like

739
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: passive aggressive. And it's just like, all right, hey, kids,

740
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 1: There's a part of me that pushes back a little

741
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 1: because I'm like, well, I think I totally am going

742
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,359
Speaker 1: to enjoy it. And I would enjoy having kids come

743
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 1: back because I'm like, oh man, this is this, this

744
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 1: was time I wasn't necessarily expecting, and this is awesome,

745
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: and we can kind of be adults together as opposed

746
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 1: to me feeling like I'm your telling you exactly what

747
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: to do, or in older later years, you know their

748
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 1: teams kind of like you know, acting as like a coach.

749
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: But even still, I feel like I would want to say,

750
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 1: all right, hey, just so you know, rents a few

751
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: hundred bucks, like like a very small amount, but just

752
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 1: so that there's, like you said earlier, that there so

753
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,080
Speaker 1: that they have some skin in the game. Because in

754
00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: the same way, if if I would have bought my

755
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 1: daughter those polished rocks and just be like, hey that

756
00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 1: you know that that's on us she she doesn't have

757
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: any skin in the game. Yeah, And and this can

758
00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,799
Speaker 1: work even in the sort of the middle of life

759
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: was I got divorced at thirty years old, and I

760
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,760
Speaker 1: moved home, not for even economic reasons, I just needed

761
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: to be with my parents, and I ended up I

762
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 1: thought i'd be there a couple of months. I ended

763
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 1: up being there for a year while I was sort

764
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 1: of figuring out where I wanted to be, and it

765
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 1: was a really special time because I got to know

766
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 1: my parents as an adult in a very different way.

767
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,320
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people had that experience

768
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 1: during the pandemic, where they were moving home just because

769
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 1: they wanted to be with their parents. It was a

770
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 1: universal thing. It wasn't like they had a personal career,

771
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 1: you know, fail out or something or something bad had happened.

772
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 1: It will something bad happened, but to all of us,

773
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 1: and so it can be a really wonderful way to

774
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,760
Speaker 1: create a different kind of relationship that evolves on a

775
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: different level because you're both adults, still a parent child,

776
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 1: but you can see them very differently, and you can

777
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 1: also by the way, it's a great opportunity, and many

778
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 1: people had this during the pandemic, to have more candid

779
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 1: and specific conversations about estate planning if that's something relevant

780
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: to your family, and sort of their wishes, and understanding

781
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: your parents goal u and seeing them as humans because

782
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,560
Speaker 1: we don't always see our parents as actual humans. We

783
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:07,000
Speaker 1: just see them in the context of relating to us.

784
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: We don't always understand their life. And I think that's

785
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,919
Speaker 1: always interesting to hear too. Yeah, let's talk more about

786
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:16,959
Speaker 1: that relational dynamic and kind of how you have these

787
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 1: money conversations as your kids do leave, leave the nest,

788
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:22,719
Speaker 1: fly the coop, and and kind of you know, have

789
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: their own place and begin to build their own lives.

790
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: We'll talk more about that with you, Bobby when we

791
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 1: get back from this break. All right, we're back from

792
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 1: the break talking with Bobby about kids, kids and money

793
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:42,879
Speaker 1: and Bobby, you know, I'm still thinking about sort of

794
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 1: there's there's a part of me that feels that where

795
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out if the responsibility like lies

796
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,759
Speaker 1: with the parents or if it lies with the kids

797
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,520
Speaker 1: when it comes to maybe like an inability to launch

798
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 1: and and so like I mean, like, why is it

799
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 1: that you might think that it's more difficult these days

800
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: for kids growing up to experience some sort of financial

801
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 1: separate ration like from their parents. Is it Is it

802
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:06,399
Speaker 1: because that we're being maybe too proactive in their lives, because,

803
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: like you said, if it's mutual, then it can work out, right, Like,

804
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,279
Speaker 1: as a parent, you think you've got some more time

805
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 1: with the kids, the kids are like, sweet, don't have

806
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 1: to pay for housing. I can say about that down payment.

807
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,360
Speaker 1: But obviously, if if the parents were maybe being too forward,

808
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: or if they're leaning into it too much. I feel

809
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 1: like that that could be the problem. That in fact,

810
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 1: the problem lies with us as parents more than maybe

811
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: it does with the kids. I think there's a lot

812
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 1: to be said for that. I think we really should

813
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: be examining the way that we're parenting. Because we're parenting,

814
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 1: you know, we're leading with love, which is great, but

815
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: we also have to make sure that we you know,

816
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: we're in the business of creating grown ups. As Ron

817
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 1: Lieber says in my book he wrote it. He wrote

818
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 1: a book called The Opposite of Spoiled, and he's like,

819
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, parents are in the

820
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 1: business of creating grown ups, and so we have to

821
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 1: kind of keep that top of mind all the time.

822
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 1: Is what I'm doing, creating a grown up that can

823
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: live a life independent of me, because ultimately we probably

824
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,319
Speaker 1: won't be there at some point in the future. And

825
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: we also want to evolve our relationship with them to

826
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 1: be a different kind of relationship where they are not

827
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: dependent on us. And I joke in the book that

828
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 1: it's perfectly fine to pay for dinner for your kids.

829
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 1: It's perfectly fine to you know, if you have a

830
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 1: daughter and you want to get well mint and we

831
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: can do this to you want to go to Spot,

832
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: Blurge or whatever all that stuff. You know, this is

833
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 1: the opposite of the you know, the needs versus wants.

834
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: Buy your kid the wants, but avoid the needs for

835
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: your adult kid. Don't pay their rent, right, but you know,

836
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 1: if they're moving in. I mean, sure, we bought Ashley

837
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 1: some furniture when she moved in. It's a one time purchase.

838
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: It's going to make her life more comfortable. We're happy

839
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 1: to do that. But we don't pay her mortgage. We

840
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: don't pay her ongoing maintenance. She takes care of those

841
00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,879
Speaker 1: things and we're not getting involved. And she's now buying

842
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 1: a puppy and it took a year and a half

843
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,959
Speaker 1: for her to get to the point where she could

844
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: afford it. And we just observed, you know, And we

845
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: are obsessed with dogs. If anyone sees my instagram, my

846
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: social media, I am an obsessed with my dog Waffles.

847
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 1: There's nothing I wanted more than a little playmate for Waffles.

848
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,720
Speaker 1: But we resisted and we let her take her time,

849
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 1: and she didn't ask for money, and I think that's

850
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,399
Speaker 1: really an important thing. To remember that very often our

851
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: children are not asking, we are giving, and there's a

852
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:10,840
Speaker 1: big difference. So wait for the ask, and if you

853
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 1: get an ask, consider it and think carefully. I am

854
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,040
Speaker 1: in the business of raising a grown up. Should I

855
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 1: just give them the money? Or should I let them

856
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,240
Speaker 1: know that I believe in them and then I'm confident

857
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,720
Speaker 1: that they can figure out how to solve the problem

858
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,040
Speaker 1: themselves without my money. Maybe you make some contribution. It's

859
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: not that you're going to cut them off. I don't

860
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: think that's realistic. Um, we choke. We joke about my

861
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,919
Speaker 1: my former podcast host Joe Saucihi, who has stacking benae,

862
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 1: but his parents cut him off completely at eighteen and

863
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 1: the results were not good. Guys. We ran its whole

864
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:45,359
Speaker 1: kinds of credit card debt. It was not good. So

865
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 1: I don't think that people are still not that great.

866
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: It is not good. So I don't believe in cutting

867
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: kids off. But I do think that you want to

868
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 1: get them to a place where they're going to sort

869
00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:00,799
Speaker 1: of exit themselves from dependence on you. And again, that

870
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:04,760
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you can't subsidize them temporarily or create

871
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: systems where if you are in a situation where they

872
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,719
Speaker 1: might one day inherit money. You want to teach them

873
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 1: how to manage that money. Well, you don't want a

874
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 1: kid to blow an inheritance that might involve, you know,

875
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,719
Speaker 1: involving third party people that maybe can be a little

876
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 1: bit tougher. If you don't feel you can be the

877
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 1: tough one and say this is money that it's only

878
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: for an emergency that you're going to inherit and you're

879
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 1: never you're not supposed to live on that money, maybe

880
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 1: you get a third party involved if you don't feel

881
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 1: that you want your relationship to go that way. So

882
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:30,480
Speaker 1: it's important to think about that. If you have a

883
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 1: kid that you know not every kid is going to

884
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:34,880
Speaker 1: embrace this, So you might want to put up guardrails

885
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,239
Speaker 1: to know that they're going to have financial security in

886
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: the future if you can set something up so that

887
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 1: they have other people looking out for them if you're

888
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:45,399
Speaker 1: not there. Because I'd like to believe that every kid

889
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,399
Speaker 1: is going to step up and be able to take

890
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 1: care of themselves and be financially responsible and be interested

891
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 1: enough to learn to manage their money. But if we're

892
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 1: being honest, not every kid will. Yeah, so I gets

893
00:40:56,600 --> 00:41:00,360
Speaker 1: it makes me think, especially as so your daughter. She

894
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 1: she's like really, she's out on her own in so

895
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 1: many ways. Now, how do you how do you continue

896
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 1: to and I know, right, yeah, I'm sure you're you're

897
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: still very vigilant, but how how do you continue to

898
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: enter into money conversations with her? And how do you

899
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:17,799
Speaker 1: recommend people who have now grown kids, uh to to

900
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 1: kind of continue talking about money together? Are you are

901
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,840
Speaker 1: you proactively asking questions about their levels of debt, savings

902
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:26,520
Speaker 1: or or how they're investing journey is going? Or do

903
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 1: you more like let them come to you? How do

904
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 1: you act as a coach still in that way or

905
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 1: at least like an interested observer without being overbearing as

906
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 1: they are like listen, mom, I've got this. I'm doing

907
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:39,479
Speaker 1: my own thing, Like you don't need to worry. How

908
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 1: how do you like, I don't know, worry well, maybe worry? Well,

909
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 1: I think it's a good way of saying it. Yeah again, Well,

910
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: first of all, again, I know I probably have said

911
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 1: this many times. Every kid is different, every circumstances different,

912
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: and you as a parent are going to be different

913
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 1: from me as a parent. So with all that said, specifically,

914
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 1: because you asked about Ashley. What's fascinating is now she

915
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 1: comes to me, And that's also partially because you know her.

916
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 1: Her stepmom wrote this book, and she's in the book

917
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 1: a lot, and she wrote the epilog, so she feels

918
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:09,919
Speaker 1: very attached and she comes to me proudly and will

919
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: tell me things. You know, she's been very involved with

920
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: the research for this puppy um. You know, understanding I

921
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: think she's paying a lot of money for it, but

922
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 1: she did a lot of research about what is the

923
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:22,880
Speaker 1: appropriate amount to pay for this kind of dog and

924
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:25,440
Speaker 1: this setting and pricing the airline flights to get out

925
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: there and transport that, all the stuff down to the

926
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 1: vet bills and the vet the insurance. So she's proactively

927
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 1: telling me because she knows I'm gonna be proud of her.

928
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 1: You know that she shopped around for the vet, and

929
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,919
Speaker 1: she shopped around for this and and so on. So

930
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 1: in that when you get a kid who's motivated and

931
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,720
Speaker 1: interested and feel successful, they will likely start telling you

932
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: what's going on. And she she even sends me like

933
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 1: um screen grabs of texts from her friends, some of

934
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: whom are not feeling successful financially, sort of asking her

935
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 1: for advice. Or lamenting that they'll never be able to

936
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 1: move out of their parents house. And it's like, well,

937
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,320
Speaker 1: you know, you've been living at home for two en

938
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 1: fo years, but you haven't saved anything. And if you're

939
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,800
Speaker 1: making a reasonable salary and you have literally no overhead,

940
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 1: you know, when you've got stimulus checks and all the

941
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,840
Speaker 1: stuff that's been going on in the pandemic, like, come on, guys,

942
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: like you should have a nest egg. Right. So she

943
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 1: sort of gets I don't want to say annoyed her friends,

944
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,799
Speaker 1: but she sort of feels like they need to get

945
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: it together. So she's she she's very appreciative. I think

946
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 1: of the fact that we pushed her and it wasn't

947
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 1: always easy. So I want people to know that it's

948
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 1: not always easy. There were a lot of fights about

949
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 1: that Disney thing because I did disagree with it, but

950
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:37,359
Speaker 1: then again, we've done stuff. Look, I I bought an

951
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 1: apartment at twenty three, and I promptly took out a

952
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 1: home equity alone to pay for Hampton's share. If that's

953
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,560
Speaker 1: worse than the Disney thing, let's right. I went into

954
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: debt to go to the Hampton's stuff the course, correct,

955
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the thing the course correct. And you know,

956
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 1: if a kid isn't bringing stuff up to you, there's

957
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:58,280
Speaker 1: nothing wrong. There's always something happening in life. You know. Look, people,

958
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: you can talk to your kid about crypto and NF

959
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,320
Speaker 1: tease because that's something that they might be hearing about.

960
00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 1: You know that your kid is on you know, whatever

961
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 1: social media channels and I'm drawing a blank now about

962
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 1: my fourteen year old. Um, he's on what's it called.

963
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 1: But anyway, you know, go on the accounts even you

964
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 1: don't have to even follow them, but just understand what

965
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 1: they're doing. But he he has a whole understanding of

966
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:23,200
Speaker 1: different meme stocks and things like that because that's something

967
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:27,240
Speaker 1: that's talked about Reddit. Um. You know, they're on those things,

968
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:30,399
Speaker 1: so you can start conversations about what's going to be

969
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:33,239
Speaker 1: of interest to them. Like, I love what you said specifically,

970
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 1: he's still at home and so there's a runway still

971
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: ahead of you with your daughter, Ashley. I love that

972
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: you said that she she comes back to you and

973
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 1: she talks about this, and what that points to is

974
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: the fact that you have a healthy relationship with her

975
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:48,760
Speaker 1: and had you not been working towards this from maybe

976
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:51,719
Speaker 1: a fairly early age that this is not something that

977
00:44:51,760 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 1: you would have been able to achieve, right like like

978
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 1: sort of like we're saying earlier on, you can't just

979
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 1: flip a switch. It's not like all of a sudden

980
00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 1: they're going to open up to you about their finances

981
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 1: if that's not a part of your language, if that's

982
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 1: not a part of your family culture. And so I

983
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 1: think so much of this also just depends on you

984
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 1: starting it early. Not being a massive deal. This this

985
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:11,640
Speaker 1: big in the hard work over years. Yeah. It also

986
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 1: making a kid know that you're proud of them, that

987
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: you know, she feels successful, she is successful, and she's

988
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:21,279
Speaker 1: proud of it, and so she's coming to me for

989
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 1: that approval because she's successful. And I think the biggest

990
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 1: thing that parents need to do is let your kids

991
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,399
Speaker 1: know that you believe in them, that you know they

992
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: can solve their problems. You're there for them, But give

993
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:35,600
Speaker 1: them that confidence. In addition to the actual information, which

994
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 1: is super important of course, and making sure that they

995
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 1: are listening to the right information sources. So when I

996
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 1: talk about Reddit, be careful there, you know, be careful

997
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 1: where they're getting their information and ask them questions about that,

998
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:51,239
Speaker 1: but make sure that they know that you they got this,

999
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 1: they can do it. No, I love it. The encouragement,

1000
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 1: the belief in your kids goes so far, It goes

1001
00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: further than then you even realize. And so every time

1002
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:03,280
Speaker 1: my mom or dad says they're proud of me, even

1003
00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 1: still at the ripe old age of thirty eight, it

1004
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: goes a long stinking way in motivating me and in

1005
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 1: making me feel like you're right, I can do it.

1006
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:12,719
Speaker 1: So you know, when your parents believe in you, this

1007
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 1: guy's the limit. Bobby, thank you so much for coming

1008
00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 1: on the show today talking to us about raising financial

1009
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 1: grown ups. And yeah, can you tell our audience more

1010
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 1: about where they can find out what you're up to

1011
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 1: and they can find out about your new book. Yeah,

1012
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 1: so you can learn about launching Financial grown Ups on

1013
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 1: my website which is just my name Bobby Rebel dot com.

1014
00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:34,720
Speaker 1: It's available all over the place, but you know, certainly

1015
00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: you can pick it up on Amazon or or support

1016
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 1: your local bookstore. That's always a good thing to say, right,

1017
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:42,320
Speaker 1: guys and um, please check out my podcast which is

1018
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,319
Speaker 1: Money Tips for Financial grown Ups. And if you want

1019
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 1: gifts for the different adultsing milestones in life, please check

1020
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:50,839
Speaker 1: out grown up gear dot com. How's that for a plug? Right?

1021
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:53,200
Speaker 1: Grown up here is It's all kinds of cute stuff.

1022
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 1: It's aprons, hats, t shirts. I even have baby gifts

1023
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 1: on there, so it's super cute, fun stuff that I'm

1024
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,920
Speaker 1: have a lot of fun with. And yeah, grown up

1025
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:07,239
Speaker 1: gear dot com is super fun. One get born. Yeah. Oh,

1026
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: and I have ventured onto TikTok. So I'm on all

1027
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 1: the social channels basically under my name Instagram. There's a

1028
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 1: one after Bobby Rebel, but I'm on TikTok now. And

1029
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: so if you want to really see some cringe e

1030
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: middle aged content, go follow me on right by the way, Bobby,

1031
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 1: when you get beer muggs, let us know too, because

1032
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: that's what Okay, definitely absolut all right, Bobby, thanks again

1033
00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: for joining us. We really appreciate it. Thanks for having

1034
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 1: me awesome, Bobby, Thank you so much. Joel, what ay,

1035
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 1: that was a fun conversation, you know, like when you

1036
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 1: start on the topic of talking about your kids, that's

1037
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 1: something I think that we could easily continue for a while.

1038
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 1: We've got plenty of kids, but a gaggle I believe

1039
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,760
Speaker 1: to discuss. But yeah, what were your big takeaways from

1040
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,439
Speaker 1: this episode here with Bobby Rebel. Okay, so I think

1041
00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 1: my big takeaway was, and I love the way she

1042
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 1: put this was that you should buy your kid the wants,

1043
00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 1: not the needs. Okay, I'm gonna have to switch it up.

1044
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 1: How is thinking to go? That was? That was such

1045
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 1: a good one because it was it was a good

1046
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 1: rule of thumb that pointed out how we can find

1047
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 1: ways just you know, not necessarily to support our kids,

1048
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:11,840
Speaker 1: because support sounds like a need, but to kind of

1049
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 1: treat them or to kind of like lavish you know,

1050
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:17,600
Speaker 1: like gifts up on them, because like that is how

1051
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 1: you show love. You don't necessarily pay for rent. Like

1052
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 1: that isn't a gift. What is a gift? A gift

1053
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,879
Speaker 1: is a once it's something that you don't necessarily need,

1054
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:28,319
Speaker 1: but it's something that you might enjoy. Yeah, exactly. And

1055
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 1: I think like when my parents will occasionally take me

1056
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,120
Speaker 1: out to dinner or or Emily's mom will come in

1057
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 1: town and she'll take us out or something like that,

1058
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 1: and and to me that means so much. It's just

1059
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:38,279
Speaker 1: it's this way that they are taking care of us

1060
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,560
Speaker 1: when they really don't have to, and it's super sweet,

1061
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,120
Speaker 1: but it would feel very different if they were taking

1062
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:46,000
Speaker 1: care of some of those basic monthly expenses, or we

1063
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 1: were on their cell phone play and we didn't pay

1064
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 1: our own way, or those are those are things that

1065
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 1: would make me feel dependent as opposed to loved. And

1066
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 1: so I think that's a really really good way to

1067
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 1: put it. If you can buy your kids some some

1068
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: of their wants on occasion, give them something show that's

1069
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,919
Speaker 1: that they didn't even ask for. But when it comes

1070
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 1: to the needs, when it comes to those month month obligations,

1071
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:06,879
Speaker 1: that's where you want to kind of draw the line

1072
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 1: and you want to let them be in control as

1073
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 1: they get older. Awesome, I love that, dude. Okay, so mine,

1074
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,359
Speaker 1: uh that I am now switching here at the last

1075
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 1: minute was sort of came at the beginning of our

1076
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 1: conversation with Bobby and she was talking about her dad

1077
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 1: and how she kind of recounted a lot of these

1078
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 1: things that he did when she was growing up that

1079
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 1: he doesn't even remember. Uh. And I don't necessarily think

1080
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:31,359
Speaker 1: it's because of old age. I think it's oftentimes there

1081
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 1: are things that we aren't very deliberate about. And I

1082
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: think it's safe to say that Bobby turned out pretty well. Uh,

1083
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 1: and so I think that as a lot of encouragement,

1084
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 1: right like, like we can oftentimes I think a lot

1085
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 1: of us can look back at our childhoods as we

1086
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,839
Speaker 1: were raised and how we were taught or in this case,

1087
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 1: you know, in a lot of cases not taught about money.

1088
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 1: We turned osmosis factor. Yeah, we re turned out fine.

1089
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 1: And so I want this to be encouragement for a

1090
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 1: lot of folks because bottom line, if you are even

1091
00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 1: thinking about it right now at all, I feel like

1092
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,080
Speaker 1: that you are a head of the game and that

1093
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 1: you're going to be able to impart a lot of

1094
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,800
Speaker 1: wisdom to your kid. Uh. And just don't forget that

1095
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 1: encouragement part, right like that. That's that's one of the

1096
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 1: things that that Bobby touched on there at the end,

1097
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:12,319
Speaker 1: just that encouragement, finding that way to build some of

1098
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 1: that confidence in your kid. Obviously they can't do whatever

1099
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 1: they want they you know, they can't conquer the world.

1100
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 1: We don't want to plant these lofty ideas that truly

1101
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 1: are never going to happen, but to instill actual confidence

1102
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 1: within them, because you have talked about some of these

1103
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 1: things over time, sometimes all they need is just like

1104
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:29,799
Speaker 1: a little pep talk, uh, so that they know that

1105
00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 1: they've that they can handle it on their own. It

1106
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 1: goes a long way believing your kids and to be

1107
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 1: that little boost kind of pushing them from behind, you know,

1108
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 1: it means, it means a lot, and it helps them

1109
00:50:38,480 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: go further. But all right, Matt, well, what was your

1110
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:42,880
Speaker 1: what your thoughts on this beer? Today? On the episode

1111
00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 1: we have a beer called farm Friends. It was a

1112
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,360
Speaker 1: collaboration by Jester King and New Image. It's like a

1113
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,399
Speaker 1: peach wild ale. What are your thoughts on this one? Yeah,

1114
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 1: I might characterize it less as like a wild ale

1115
00:50:52,520 --> 00:50:54,520
Speaker 1: and and and definitely more as as a sour like

1116
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 1: it definitely has that kind of tartness going on in

1117
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 1: my mind, it has a little bit less of the funkiness,

1118
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 1: which oftentimes is how you know, what I associate with

1119
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: wild ailes. But I want to read some of the

1120
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 1: ingredients on here because what stood out to me is

1121
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,759
Speaker 1: the fact that it says barn age tops on here.

1122
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 1: And I don't know if that's just for the brand,

1123
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 1: you know, like this beer is called farm Friends, and

1124
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,360
Speaker 1: were they thinking, all right, it's not just age tops.

1125
00:51:16,360 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 1: We gotta say that you are getting the actual barn hops,

1126
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 1: the hops slept with the sheep and the cows. They're

1127
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:25,239
Speaker 1: gonna smell like horse blink. But I know this is

1128
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 1: a nice sour beer, nice hartness with I would say,

1129
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:32,879
Speaker 1: as a couple of guys from Georgia, as a nice

1130
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: amount of peachness going on, not too much because you

1131
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 1: don't want like over the top fruit sweetness going on,

1132
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:39,240
Speaker 1: but just the right amount to lend it that flavor.

1133
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed it. What were your thoughts? So, yeah,

1134
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,759
Speaker 1: I would say light, peachy, refreshing and have this kind

1135
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 1: of dry finish to it as well. So I really

1136
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:50,399
Speaker 1: enjoyed it because it did have the peaches going on,

1137
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 1: and like you said, we're from Georgia, we like peaches.

1138
00:51:53,120 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 1: Of course the peach date baby he got to. But yeah,

1139
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 1: I thought this beer kind of had a lot of

1140
00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:00,120
Speaker 1: different things going for it, and it wasn't quite as

1141
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,320
Speaker 1: intense as a lot of sour ales. It had just

1142
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,920
Speaker 1: kind of a lightness to it, a freshness to it

1143
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 1: that I appreciate it. It's probably probably the barney tops

1144
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 1: is what that is. But no, it was really tasty.

1145
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:12,120
Speaker 1: I enjoyed it. It's those those cold Nights with the Sheep.

1146
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:15,680
Speaker 1: That's right, but we will make sure to link to

1147
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:19,719
Speaker 1: the different resources and sites that Bobby mentioned during our

1148
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 1: interview with her, and you can find all of those

1149
00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,359
Speaker 1: up on our website at how the Money dot com.

1150
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 1: There within our show notes. That's right. And if you're

1151
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: still lagging the competition, you still haven't signed up for

1152
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 1: our how do Money email newsletter. Make sure you got

1153
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 1: to how the Money DITM slash newsletter. Signed up for

1154
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,760
Speaker 1: that junk and get it in your inbox every Tuesday.

1155
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 1: You'll be glad you did. All right, that's gonna do

1156
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:40,359
Speaker 1: it for this episode, Matt. Until next time, Best Friends Out,

1157
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 1: Best Friends Out,