1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: You know, I wanted to inspire other people that I 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 1: have gone through it. You know, specifically women of color 3 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,560 Speaker 1: are always have so much pressure. Black women in this 4 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: country have always the illness of taking care of people 5 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: and being of service. You know, if it's not an election, 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:21,119 Speaker 1: it's raising white people's babies. It's something that women of 7 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 1: color all have in common. They always being of surf, 8 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 1: taking care of others. And I just felt like, you know, 9 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,680 Speaker 1: I wanted to be a voice and say I see you, 10 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: I see you, girl, I know what it is, I 11 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: know the burden. 12 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 2: That's Ida Rodriguez. She is a comedian, she is an actress, 13 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:43,480 Speaker 2: and now she is an author. Her book is about 14 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 2: how she's been able to take all of her trauma 15 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 2: and turn it into comedy, a successful career by all accounts. 16 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 2: This is a really special pod, y'all lean in. 17 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 3: It's the greatest suspersion then the same in Connect You 18 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,360 Speaker 3: with Kry Chappie and the Carrie Chappy is to be 19 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 3: a champion of Champion the Carri Chappie and they complete 20 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 3: out a champion Andy Carri Shepion and Carrie Shepy Great 21 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 3: the greatest susporsion. 22 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 2: Then the tam Connect you wear Today on the podcast, 23 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: we have Ida Rodriguez. She's a comedian and actress and 24 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:24,039 Speaker 2: now an author. Her new book, Legitimate Kid is out. 25 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 2: I came out October seventeenth, twenty twenty three. That means 26 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 2: just a few days ago, and we need you to support. 27 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,319 Speaker 2: In this book, she talks about a very painful upbringing, 28 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 2: and she also talks about how she was able to 29 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 2: take her trauma and transform it into comedy. I had 30 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,039 Speaker 2: a friend tell me once black and brown people do 31 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 2: trauma so well, and I do know that's where a 32 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 2: lot of our comedic interests comes from, like celebrating things 33 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 2: and making fun of situations that were really really tragic 34 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 2: growing up, or probably the other things that are happening 35 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 2: in our lives right now. And for me, this podcast, 36 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 2: this particular episode, felt very cathartic in a few ways. 37 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 2: So I'm going to share something with you that seems 38 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 2: so off base, but when you listen to the podcast, 39 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 2: you'll get it. I've seen Ida around on the circuit 40 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 2: plenty of times. 41 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: I always thought, oh, she's beautiful, she's swore. 42 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 2: I don't think anything about it. Coming into today's podcast, 43 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 2: I was late. I was running behind by like fifteen minutes, 44 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 2: and I was really panicked about it, and I felt 45 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 2: like she might have bad energy towards me, because people 46 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 2: hate when people are late. 47 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: I know I do. 48 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 2: And she was so kind and so generous and even, 49 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 2: and I didn't think anything of it, and I was like, well, 50 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,959 Speaker 2: just thank you for your patience. 51 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: And throughout the podcast, she says something. 52 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 2: Which I thought was a joke about how she was 53 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:48,919 Speaker 2: in a relationship with a guy who had a crush 54 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,640 Speaker 2: on me, and she said, I used to hate on 55 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 2: you because he had a crush on you. 56 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: And I just laughed it off, right. 57 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 2: But as the podcast went on, she starts talking about 58 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 2: more and more things that really resonate with me. In 59 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:07,679 Speaker 2: a society where women sometimes hate women, in a society 60 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 2: where women are taught to hate women, in a society 61 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 2: where men also hate women, it's really painful to pretend 62 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,800 Speaker 2: like you don't feel it, notice it, or see it. 63 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 2: I think I've mastered that, and I know many of 64 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 2: you have. You have to, otherwise you would cry every day. 65 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 2: You have to make a joke out of it. So 66 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 2: when someone says something like that to me, I kind 67 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 2: of laugh. But towards the end of the podcast, it 68 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 2: was really a moment for both her and I in 69 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 2: the sense that she's very honest about working on her insecurities. 70 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 2: I also am doing the same. But she reminded me 71 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 2: throughout this podcast it's okay to be insecure. It's okay 72 00:03:55,960 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 2: to feel like you're mad at someone that's displayed anger, 73 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 2: but it's also okay to admit it, move on and 74 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 2: work on your healing. 75 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 1: And it was just a healing moment. 76 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 2: Here we are talking about her book, Legitimate Kid, and 77 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 2: I need you all to go out and support really special. 78 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 2: Hope you enjoy today's edition. 79 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,159 Speaker 1: Of Naked and Care with Shep Bean and Cared. 80 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 2: I'm curious as we began, and usually I just started 81 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 2: the genesis of the podcast where I ask how people 82 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 2: grew up, how they got their influence? Where life for 83 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 2: you in terms of waning that you would take this road? 84 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:44,080 Speaker 2: Where did that begin for you? And when I talk 85 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 2: to people who are comedians or actors, are a variation 86 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 2: of both, there is always usually an inevitable childhood story 87 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 2: or a moment when they knew. 88 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: Do you mind sharing that moment with me? When you 89 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: knew this is the world in which you wanted to 90 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: live in? Sure? I would love to share that with you. 91 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,359 Speaker 1: Don't one's asked me that question. They just always asked me, 92 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: how did you start doing stand up? But you know 93 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 1: I was. It's true. It's just this's always the same 94 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 1: the question. When I was a little girl, I was 95 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,840 Speaker 1: around my uncles a lot, my huncles. My mom was 96 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 1: really young, and my uncles were in the house because 97 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,839 Speaker 1: my mom was a teenager. And I had one uncle, 98 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: my youngest uncle, who exposed me to comedy and hip hop, 99 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: and so he used to listen to Richard Pryor all 100 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,479 Speaker 1: the time. And I remember hiding behind the door listening 101 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: because I wasn't supposed to be and Richard Pryor was 102 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: doing his joke about his dog being high, and I 103 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 1: just remember laughing so much and thinking to myself, like, 104 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: I want to do that. So I used to just 105 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: I used to pick up the broomstick on like it 106 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 1: was my microphone and entertained my mom And what would 107 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: be your joke or what would your mother laugh at? 108 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 1: Or would she not laugh? She did? I would girl 109 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 1: though it was funny because I would be I would 110 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: be like telling saying scriptures, but trying to be funny 111 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,400 Speaker 1: while doing that. It was a very interesting mix because 112 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: I guess I associated pastors were comedians because they both 113 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: were in front of people talking and entertaining in some way, 114 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 1: and I just I would I would take the Bible. 115 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,840 Speaker 1: I was seeing hymns. I'll have my own little variety show. 116 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 1: But it was very church. It's very different than what 117 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 1: I do now. Okay, so it's very church driven. There 118 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: is a connection if I if I had to suggest 119 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:43,039 Speaker 1: between a pastor uh, because it's theater, it's theater and 120 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,120 Speaker 1: they stand up in front of people and they are entertaining. Right, 121 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,160 Speaker 1: I see the see the connection. So are you are 122 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 1: you doing Bible versus uh? Or are you saying you know? 123 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 2: Are you being funny? We're paraty, we're reciting stories from 124 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,159 Speaker 2: the Bible. I don't what exactly what that sound like. 125 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: If you remember for your mother girl emulating the pastor, 126 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 1: it was imitating the pastor and giving it a comedic spin. 127 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: You know that exaggerating and the load and you know 128 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. 129 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I love that because that's what we do. 130 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 2: And the Lord said, bless him and bless her, and 131 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 2: but I get it. Yes, if if you heard your 132 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 2: uncle as a little kid, listening to Richard Pryor, which 133 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 2: I'm sure had lots and lots of cursing in it, 134 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 2: and I'm sure had a lot of deaths, probably inappropriate 135 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 2: things Like you said you were listening behind closed doors, 136 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 2: did you ever feel and then you would do scripture, 137 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 2: which is so funny because they are two different worlds. 138 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 2: When you started to come into your own and you 139 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 2: knew that you wanted to do this, how did you 140 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 2: vocalize that to your family and your friends? 141 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: So I told my I told my children first. First 142 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,320 Speaker 1: it was my girlfriends, because my girlfriends and I would 143 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 1: go to this comedy club in La the Laugh Factory. 144 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: We would go to Chocolate Sundays every Sunday and there 145 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: we got to see some, you know, the best comedians 146 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: in the land. And I kept saying I want to 147 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,960 Speaker 1: do it. I had started writing jokes and then one 148 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: of my friends threw me on the stage for first impressions, 149 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: which is how this whole thing started. But I just 150 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 1: told everybody I want to do it. But what I kept, 151 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: what I made sure that I did was apology, not apologized, 152 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,680 Speaker 1: but it was but I'm not really going to do 153 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: it for real. I'm just doing it as a hobby 154 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: because I was afraid to fail in front of them, 155 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 1: and so it was safer to just say I'm just 156 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: doing that as a hobby as opposed to saying I'm 157 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: really committed to this, this is what I'm going to do. 158 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 2: That came later when you told them it was a 159 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 2: hobby but you knew ultimately you wanted to do it. 160 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 2: Did they encourage you to do it and they were like, 161 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 2: you're funny, you have something here, or did they let 162 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 2: you continue to say it was a hobby now they 163 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 2: told me you to do this for real. I did 164 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 2: a I roasted my girlfriend for her birthday brunch and 165 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 2: Chris Spencer was there and Chris, Yeah, we did a roast. 166 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 2: It was she asked us to roast and. 167 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: He was like, you are a stand up and he 168 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: was like, you need to go do stand up, like 169 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 1: stop playing. He sent me to my first open mic, 170 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: and I'll trusted Chris because Chris was working with Jamie Fox, 171 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 1: he was working with Keba Hart. He knew he's a 172 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: stand up comedian in his own right, so I was like, 173 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,240 Speaker 1: he knows what he's talking about. But I was still 174 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 1: doing it as a hobby. 175 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 2: I too, remember chocolate Sundays, A really really my close friend. 176 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 2: Her name is Kendricarter. She worked at NBC and she 177 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:45,840 Speaker 2: was in charge of are using milliary Kindricarter Wow, And 178 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 2: so I would go with her. She would take me 179 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,679 Speaker 2: to comedy clubs with her all the time. I wouldn't 180 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 2: remember because she was really there working and I was 181 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 2: just like keeking and sipping drinks. But I remember to 182 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 2: your point, there'd be so many amazing commedi with so 183 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 2: much talent, including yourself. And you wonder what a tough 184 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 2: gig it is to choose to do this, especially someone 185 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 2: such as yourself, you know, who has an acumen where 186 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 2: someone probably thinks you should do something else when to college. 187 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 2: You're going to college, you should do something else. 188 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:18,720 Speaker 1: Yep. 189 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,319 Speaker 2: When in Chris is buddy, and he's a fool in 190 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 2: his own right. I love him very much. I wonder 191 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 2: when you started to make a living at this so 192 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 2: that came? How long did it take? 193 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 1: It was funny because my very first gig I got 194 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: paid for right the very first time I was on stage, 195 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 1: they paid five hundred dollars. Good for you. Then I 196 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 1: never got paid again for a file like I would 197 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 1: give you what for like maybe about five years, like 198 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: I when I started really making me as an owner. 199 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,079 Speaker 2: Wait, so your first gig you got paid five hundred 200 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 2: dollars and then you need to get paid for five 201 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 2: for five years and you were just getting up, just 202 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,559 Speaker 2: getting like perfecting your craft, but not getting paid for it. 203 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 1: Absolutely, you don't start making money till you hit the road. 204 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 1: When you start, when you become like an opener, you 205 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: become a regular at the club, when the club passes 206 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 1: you and they start paying you for your spots. Up 207 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:18,960 Speaker 1: until then, you're just going up trying to create the 208 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: name for yourself. You're trying to build your set, you know, 209 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,640 Speaker 1: and and honing the craft. So it takes a minute. 210 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,079 Speaker 1: And so yeah, I got paid. So I didn't start 211 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: getting paid until Russell Peters is a very successful famous 212 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: Indian comedian who saw me perform at a place called 213 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 1: Sinnis Space in Hollywood and he invited me to come 214 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 1: open for him. And that's when that's what kicked the 215 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: door open for me featuring as a comic and starting 216 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:49,959 Speaker 1: to make money as a comedian. How does okay? 217 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 2: So I'm gonna get in the weeds. I know, I 218 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 2: know of Russell, I don't know him. I know of Russell. 219 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,319 Speaker 2: I'm a huge like you know, I think I don't. 220 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,600 Speaker 2: I'm not a comedian expert, but I am a huge 221 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 2: fan of what you all do. Because it's extremely difficult 222 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 2: to stand up there and make people laugh. So Tony 223 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 2: Baker would have this show where he'd be like, you 224 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 2: guys are stingy with your laughs. I can't stand this audience. 225 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 2: You guys are stingy with your laughs like you would 226 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 2: say it. And people, and especially a room full of 227 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 2: black and brown people, it's something either they're. 228 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,080 Speaker 1: Really in the move for it, or we're just not 229 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 1: in the move for we like, make me laugh? Like 230 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: why I find that. That's why I said, it's so 231 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: difficult to do what you do. So you do five years, 232 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: don't make any money. Russell Peters is a big deal, 233 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: comes in, says open for me. How nervous are you 234 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 1: when you start? When you open for him? Specifically, Oh, 235 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:42,240 Speaker 1: very nervous because he was selling out all of his show. 236 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: So Russell sells out all of his show. So we're 237 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,880 Speaker 1: doing we're in West Palm Beach doing the West Palm 238 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 1: Beach Improv. He has seven shows. They got to add 239 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 1: another one because he's just selling so many tickets and 240 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: the room is filled with everybody but mainly Indian people, 241 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 1: which I'm nervous because I'm like, is my sensibility different? 242 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: Are they gonna get me? I'm a little bit edging. 243 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 1: I'm in a different you know, I do different type, 244 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 1: a different type of stand up. And it was great. 245 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 1: It was a very very big learning experience because what 246 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,600 Speaker 1: happens when you open you do less time, and you 247 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 1: do really well. The audiences can be very generous to 248 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: the openers. You start to think do it. I can 249 00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 1: be like, they love me. They didn't think I'm so 250 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: funny now really good at it? Yeah? Yeah, but you 251 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 1: learn that valuable lesson that you got to do that 252 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,960 Speaker 1: three times over. It's not just that twenty minute said 253 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,440 Speaker 1: is the sweet spot? You got to You gotta keep 254 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: those people engaged for an hour and so it was 255 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 1: cool for me. I was just learning over and over, 256 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:51,680 Speaker 1: just watching him every show and learning something different every time. 257 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 1: It was very intimidating to go up from going to 258 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,160 Speaker 1: an open mic, just standing in front of an audience 259 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:05,040 Speaker 1: that's completely sold out. Oh so it's my my research, 260 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 1: and you correct me if I'm wrong, said, you had 261 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 1: a bit of a turbulent childhood and you moved to 262 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:08,839 Speaker 1: the d R. 263 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 2: Do you find that and I say this, I just 264 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:16,600 Speaker 2: feel like sometimes a splack and around folks can really 265 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 2: do trauma well, like we really embrace it well and 266 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 2: we make it really funny. Do you find that that 267 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 2: you're is that where you give a lot of your 268 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 2: humor from thinking of things that are just like you know, 269 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 2: that was really that when I grew up that, you know, 270 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 2: or when that happened to me? 271 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: Can you can you make yourself laugh otherwise you cry? 272 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:36,920 Speaker 2: Yeah? 273 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 1: You know, we learn it in the hood playing the Dozens. 274 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 1: We learned you know, they call it roasting now that 275 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 1: it's mainstream, but we called it jone in practice snapping 276 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: like it depends on where you were. But yeah, we 277 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: grew up, you know, a weaponizing each other's like poverty 278 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 1: as a way of making ourselves feel better because we 279 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: want to keep the eat off of us and wearing 280 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: pants too show. I'm a tall girl, so you know, 281 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,960 Speaker 1: wearing pats too short for me and they call on 282 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: high water and cloud me. So yeah, we learned to 283 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: turn our trauma into comedy. It's it's a coping mechanism. Okay, 284 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 1: you know what time it is. 285 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 2: We have to pay bills, so just press fast forward, 286 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 2: fast forward, fast forward, and we'll be right back. 287 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 1: Otherwise, listen to the commercials. Those are pleasant as well. 288 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 3: Every champion and carry champion is to be a champion, 289 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,440 Speaker 3: out a champion and carry chappion and carry chat be 290 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 3: out a champion and carry chappion and carry chaffy afraid 291 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 3: is the sports and entertainment Getting Naked Word. Every champion 292 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 3: and carry champion is to be a CHAMPIONTA champion and 293 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,800 Speaker 3: carry champion niggers shot a champion and carry chappion and 294 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 3: carry she. 295 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 1: Entertainment Getting Naked Word. 296 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 2: Hey everyone, welcome back to Naked and here is my girl, 297 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 2: my new girl. Were best friends down Fredriguez. I saw 298 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 2: you as I'm sitting here talking to you. I remember 299 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 2: there was Okay, correct me if I'm wrong. It was 300 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:12,400 Speaker 2: a music an honoring of music greats, maybe during like 301 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 2: Grammy weekend, and I believe Bus Rhymes was being honored. 302 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 2: And I also think Missy Elliott got on stage. It 303 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 2: might have been the Academy. I don't know the name 304 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 2: of said event. Do you know what I'm talking about? 305 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 2: And you came out and you hosted and opened it. 306 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 2: It could have been two Grammys ago, you don't remember, 307 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,240 Speaker 2: and you were with I know for a fact you 308 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 2: got on stage and you talked about being tall and 309 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,920 Speaker 2: having a bit of a stint as a model and everyone. 310 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 2: And I know what I thought when I was listening 311 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 2: to you, watching you, I was like, it's so pretty. 312 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,880 Speaker 1: I was distracted. Do you find that what you look 313 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 1: like is distracting sometimes? Well? I was told by Keenan 314 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: Ivry Williams, I was distracting when I did last comic Standing, 315 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: and he told me to stop being so distracting on 316 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 1: national television while my knees were buckling because they kept 317 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:05,159 Speaker 1: telling me that people were watching. But you know what 318 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,160 Speaker 1: it's like, I get. I have a confession for you. 319 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:11,800 Speaker 1: Thank you for that. You are also a very beautiful woman. 320 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,320 Speaker 1: My ex boyfriend had a really big crush on you, 321 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: and I used to hate on you a question time girl. 322 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,399 Speaker 1: I was like, she ain't all that because he had 323 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: a really big crush on you, and I can't stand her. 324 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:34,439 Speaker 1: She ugly. You know, you deal with your own insecurities 325 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 1: and you're especially if you're in a relationship with somebody 326 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 1: who makes who doesn't help the insecurity, and well, shots 327 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,359 Speaker 1: fired to him because he's a great human being. But 328 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 1: we had our celebrity crush and you were his celebrity 329 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: crush and I was like, oh god, what small crazy 330 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:56,679 Speaker 1: she and she late on top of that. No, but 331 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 1: it's funny because it's it's so interesting that we would 332 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:03,280 Speaker 1: end of doing your podcast. And I just chuckled to 333 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,120 Speaker 1: myself because I was like, he you know, he had 334 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: this thing for you, and I thought it was cute. 335 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 1: I was like, you know, he's safe enough to tell me, 336 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 1: so you got a fan out. 337 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,520 Speaker 2: And it's listen. It's only because I can tell you 338 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,800 Speaker 2: who winning the game. It really has I think it's 339 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 2: so funny. We always make these jokes about it girls, 340 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 2: ladies in sports. Rather, we make these jokes about it 341 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 2: because we just a painted the ass and they don't 342 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:29,639 Speaker 2: want to bother with us. 343 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 1: What they really mean it, Yes, tell me about your 344 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:39,359 Speaker 1: book congratulations as we make our trans what a great confession. Like, 345 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, she's just so sweet, thank you, 346 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,440 Speaker 1: And you don't remember this event and it's bugging. I'm 347 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 1: going to google it's bugging, but you were yeah, no, 348 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 1: I remember, you remember, you remember I always shut out 349 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 1: the big events with because they make you nervous, especially 350 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 1: when you're the comedian and you're doing shows with people 351 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 1: who have super big names and they just brush off 352 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: the comics. So thank you for remembering me. Well you're 353 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 1: no but you stand out too. But you did a 354 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,640 Speaker 1: great job. So I was like, she's so pretty, I am. 355 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 1: I'm the opposite. I'm just like, oh, I like pretty 356 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:18,239 Speaker 1: tall people, like it's so vain, make me too, Just 357 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 1: not when my my boyfriend is not, like ugly, I 358 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,199 Speaker 1: was mean. I mean, I love doing this because I 359 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 1: can be transparent. I was in a very dark space. 360 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 1: I felt very insecure about myself, and so to hear 361 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 1: the man that I was with telling me, you know, 362 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,600 Speaker 1: gush over another woman was so threatening to me at 363 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 1: the time. And then to have a conversation for you 364 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:45,639 Speaker 1: to see you here and be like, oh, she's the 365 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:49,520 Speaker 1: dope ast person, like you know, It's just I just 366 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 1: want women to who are listening to hear and know 367 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,880 Speaker 1: that sometimes when we do that like it. It has 368 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: nothing to do with the other person. It just has 369 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,359 Speaker 1: to do with how you're feeling about yourself. I'm in 370 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,200 Speaker 1: a good place now, dread that book and I'm back cool. 371 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,959 Speaker 2: I can tell you true we having confessions, I can 372 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,120 Speaker 2: tell you everything. I that is what you just said 373 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 2: since we're being naked is so true. I think if, 374 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,280 Speaker 2: especially if it's somebody you care about who doesn't make 375 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,879 Speaker 2: you feel good about who you are, and he just 376 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:21,600 Speaker 2: says something about some other woman, it to be honest. 377 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,439 Speaker 2: In the world that I live in, that happens a 378 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 2: lot to me, Like people are mean to me in general, 379 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 2: Like wives will be mad at me, and I'll. 380 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 1: Be like, I didn't do nothing wrong. What I did? 381 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,439 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Yeah, And I get it. 382 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: I get it. I've been there. I've been to hayt 383 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: Enna's girlfriend. I understand, like she's not cute. 384 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,959 Speaker 2: She looked like a housewife, she's not really that pretty, 385 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,359 Speaker 2: you know, or whatever it is that makes me feel. 386 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,800 Speaker 1: You know. It's funny is when you're where you're looking 387 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: at a woman and you know she's cute, she's also intelligence, 388 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: she's articulate, she's tall, she's fine, and then you look 389 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,440 Speaker 1: you look like the crazy one. Well you like all that. 390 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,119 Speaker 1: I don't like. 391 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,399 Speaker 2: I don't like that particular type of girl or me 392 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 2: with or with a dude, like when I'm with a guy. 393 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 1: This is so random. 394 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,760 Speaker 2: I'd be like, I don't like I'm that tall and 395 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,400 Speaker 2: rich and dark and handsome. 396 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,879 Speaker 1: I don't you know what, I don't even want that, 397 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,240 Speaker 1: Like that's what it was, because that means, you know, 398 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,400 Speaker 1: you is somebody who's insecure and you're just appeasing them. 399 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,719 Speaker 1: You're like, that's why anytime a man this is a 400 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: woman to me, I'm all, I look at the sideways 401 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,679 Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, you don't think I feel good 402 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:34,160 Speaker 1: about myself that you can't celebrate another woman, you know, like, yeah, 403 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 1: that's right, that's where the shauha worked. That's great. 404 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,200 Speaker 2: Oh that's Oh, let's talk about the therapy. I didn't 405 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 2: know we want to have therapy. I agree, and I 406 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,200 Speaker 2: and I don't want to do I don't want to 407 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 2: be that. As I'm going through, I'm like, I'm without. 408 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:48,359 Speaker 2: Are you dating right now? 409 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 1: No? You know, I'm doing this trauma therapy that I've 410 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,280 Speaker 1: been doing for the last couple of months, and my 411 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 1: therapist has asked me to be relationship free for six months, 412 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,440 Speaker 1: so I'm two months. But I've been single for over 413 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,159 Speaker 1: a year and I started dating somebody and I realized 414 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,120 Speaker 1: that I had embraced another person who've had a lot 415 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 1: of issues, and I was like, I stopped myself and 416 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,680 Speaker 1: I removed myself, and I'm just I'm in a relationship 417 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,720 Speaker 1: with myself right now. And I got about four months. 418 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:24,880 Speaker 1: Oh good, how do you talk about that? I feel great. 419 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 1: I got tired. You know, I've been in very long 420 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:31,320 Speaker 1: term relationships. I dated a professional I was married to 421 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:36,239 Speaker 1: a professional athlete. We have two children. And then I 422 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 1: was married to then I was dating somebody else for 423 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,320 Speaker 1: a very long time, and I just I became like 424 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:45,879 Speaker 1: a specialist in being of service to the people that 425 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,640 Speaker 1: I was in with. And I had to break from 426 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:53,479 Speaker 1: that because I kept forsaking myself. And in this last breakup, 427 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:59,320 Speaker 1: which was very painful, you're humble, stand, I decided that 428 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 1: when I walked away from it, that I was gonna 429 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,800 Speaker 1: embrace me and be a better me next time. I 430 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,159 Speaker 1: got in another relationship. And I'm in this program with 431 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,959 Speaker 1: this woman who works with a lot of amazing women, 432 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,159 Speaker 1: and it's a therapy program that only last twelve sessions, 433 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: and she's like, can you give me the twelve sessions? 434 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,560 Speaker 1: And I was like, I can give me the twelve sessions. 435 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,200 Speaker 1: Absolutely so I feel good about it. 436 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,439 Speaker 2: Oh, this sounds amazing. How don'd you hear about it? 437 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 2: Because I is it something that everybody's available? Is it 438 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 2: just for celebrities time? Is it available to all of them? 439 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,640 Speaker 1: Yeah? No, I'll connect you if you'd like. She's amazing. 440 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,159 Speaker 1: She's worked with you know, see, you know some of 441 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,960 Speaker 1: the actresses, you know, some of the executives. She works 442 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,800 Speaker 1: with women, and she specifically she doesn't believe you should 443 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,639 Speaker 1: be in therapy for the rest of your life. She's like, 444 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 1: you don't when you when you have physical therapy for 445 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,399 Speaker 1: an injury, you don't vote forever. So she's like, you 446 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 1: should be able to graduate from a program. And so 447 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 1: she works with professional women. She's a dope ast woman 448 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 1: and I I'm so glad that I met her. I've 449 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,879 Speaker 1: done some work with her and that has been just 450 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: life changing from me. So yeah, I'm happy. I have 451 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,520 Speaker 1: a question. And now that we're down this path, when 452 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 1: I look at you and I think of the things 453 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 1: that you've accomplished, does that not make you feel more 454 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:25,640 Speaker 1: confident in who you are? I wonder because when I uh. 455 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,000 Speaker 2: Date and I've been married a divorce, but I'm currently dating, 456 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:33,320 Speaker 2: I always if there was any sense of insecurity for me. 457 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,960 Speaker 2: I just look at the totality of who I am, 458 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 2: and I'm all like you saw you if you you know, 459 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:45,480 Speaker 2: I wonder, but that's also a crutch leaning on career, 460 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 2: like you can't just do that. But I wonder how 461 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 2: you see yourself in terms of do you see yourself 462 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,160 Speaker 2: the way I see you? And I'm sure you don't. 463 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 2: But like tall, smart, beautiful, attract as successful, do you 464 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,919 Speaker 2: see that star to? You know? 465 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,719 Speaker 1: My manager tells me all the time, He's like, I 466 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,720 Speaker 1: need you to fuck with you, like I fucking shit. 467 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 1: My manager says that some pretty amazing people. You know, 468 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 1: I'm starting to see it now. I had to get 469 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 1: out of the ring. I had to get out of, 470 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 1: you know. I was in a relationship, I was in 471 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:23,200 Speaker 1: another relationship, I was dating. I was I was around 472 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 1: friends that were not the best friends for me, good people, 473 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,880 Speaker 1: just not good for me. I was just in these 474 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:34,480 Speaker 1: circles and cycles of people of ongoing stuff that I remember. 475 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,639 Speaker 1: I just realized one day that I felt like I 476 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,159 Speaker 1: wasn't enough and I was unworthy of anything great. So 477 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,800 Speaker 1: no matter what I did, it was I was never 478 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:44,959 Speaker 1: enough and I would just continue. I got to do more. 479 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 1: I got to wearing myself out and so baking. And 480 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: I believe in the laws of attraction. I am a 481 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:56,160 Speaker 1: reflection of you. So I just feel like now I'm 482 00:25:56,200 --> 00:26:00,560 Speaker 1: starting to catch up, you know, and know that I'm 483 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 1: doing it. You know I'm doing it. I do stuff. 484 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 1: It's not too light. Yeah, no, and that's with women. 485 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:11,639 Speaker 1: Women are always given these expiration dates, and I know 486 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:16,439 Speaker 1: I rebuke it. I would you even listen to it? 487 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, you start when I'm around a bunch of 488 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,560 Speaker 2: women talking about how they are what happens when they 489 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:20,679 Speaker 2: get I was like, I don't believe in it. 490 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,119 Speaker 1: I don't know what you're saying. I don't hear it. 491 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,360 Speaker 1: I just refuse. 492 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 2: I also think it's interesting that you were married to 493 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,159 Speaker 2: I know, I believe it was an NFL player from 494 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,720 Speaker 2: my understanding, Yeah. 495 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 1: Did you meet him in school? Yeah? I met him. 496 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,880 Speaker 1: I met him and my youth my we were kids. 497 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,760 Speaker 1: You know. I was in a summer pub when you were, 498 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,880 Speaker 1: so I was with him before he became a professional athlete. 499 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,359 Speaker 1: You watched the build, you watch the gun. I believe 500 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 1: I believe I willed him into the NFL. I believed 501 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,359 Speaker 1: he could do it, even though he did sometimes he 502 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,919 Speaker 1: was you know, he was my childhood best friend. We 503 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,679 Speaker 1: didn't our relationship didn't work out. We were both broken 504 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 1: when we were together. But I have nothing but love 505 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,879 Speaker 1: for him. He gave me the two great assets of 506 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 1: my life, and he was He may not have made 507 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,320 Speaker 1: it the way he wanted to, but he is undoubtedly 508 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 1: one of the best nfls that ever played wide receivers 509 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 1: that ever played in the NFL. 510 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,359 Speaker 2: I love that doing you in your book. Now look here, 511 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,960 Speaker 2: I am late, now a comedian, actress, now author. 512 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:18,400 Speaker 1: I'm late. 513 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:19,880 Speaker 2: We finally get to the book. I know you got 514 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 2: to go soon. What made you write a book? Memoirs 515 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,880 Speaker 2: are so difficult. I've had so many of my really 516 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,800 Speaker 2: good friends, right, I have it, But when my friends 517 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,880 Speaker 2: write it, like Jammeelle Hill wrote one in Bosemus, Saint 518 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 2: John really wonderfully successful girlfriends in Brittenham, and they said, 519 00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:41,680 Speaker 2: when it's all said and done, it's hard because your 520 00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 2: truth is your truth, and if you're writing about other people, 521 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,440 Speaker 2: they don't necessarily. 522 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 1: Agree with your truth. 523 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 2: How was this process when you wrote your book? 524 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:55,280 Speaker 1: You know, I think specifically when it comes to black 525 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 1: and brown people, we are accustomed to not telling what 526 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,679 Speaker 1: happens at home. We have always been and trained to 527 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 1: what happens at home stay them, which I have a 528 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:07,120 Speaker 1: lot of respect for. But it's also it's it's almost 529 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: like we're not a crime syndicate family, like the things 530 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 1: that happen at home, so can't stay at home. You 531 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,320 Speaker 1: guys saw scar Face while our father and you've taken 532 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 1: us a bit far. A lot of times we can talk. Yeah, yeah, 533 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,919 Speaker 1: because a lot of times when we keep the secrets 534 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 1: we are keep, we enable abusers for generations upon generations 535 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: because we're not telling that, hum well, so and so 536 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 1: likes to touch on us. So we're not saying that 537 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 1: such and such beats to match, and we just keep 538 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 1: the cycles of abuse going because we've been indoctrinated to 539 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,719 Speaker 1: question our integrity when we speak up for ourselves. And 540 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,880 Speaker 1: so I had to let it out, you know, I 541 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,160 Speaker 1: had to sit down and write about my journey with 542 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,480 Speaker 1: feeling illegitimate because I didn't have my father's last name 543 00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 1: some of the things that happened to me. And I 544 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,600 Speaker 1: just have to be okay with people being upset about 545 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:06,680 Speaker 1: me telling because if I'm telling a lie, there will 546 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 1: be consequences for that. But if I'm telling my truth 547 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,479 Speaker 1: and it's freeing me and you're bothered by it, then 548 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,480 Speaker 1: you're part of the problem. And that's how I just 549 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 1: had to be okay with that. 550 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 2: When you talk about trauma and growing up and all 551 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,400 Speaker 2: the things that hurt you, did this book feel cathartic 552 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:26,760 Speaker 2: by putting pen to paper? 553 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,800 Speaker 1: Yeh? Or what did you hope would be the end 554 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,040 Speaker 1: goal for the with the book? You know, I wanted 555 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 1: to inspire other people that I've gone through it. You know, 556 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,800 Speaker 1: specifically women of color are always have so much pressure. 557 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 1: Black women in this country have always the illness of 558 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:47,040 Speaker 1: taking care of people and being of service. You know, 559 00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 1: if it's not an election, it's raising white people's babies. 560 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 1: It's something that women of color all have in common, 561 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 1: always being of serf, taking care of others. And I 562 00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 1: just felt like, you know, I wanted to be a 563 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 1: void and say I see you, I see you, girl. 564 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,040 Speaker 1: I know what it is. I know the burden, you know. 565 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,239 Speaker 1: And I also it's not just traumal port It's not 566 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: just me crying and whining about all the stuff that 567 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,720 Speaker 1: happened to me. It's me taking accountability for what I 568 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 1: what I participated in, what I chose, you know, me 569 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 1: forgiving people so that I could be free from it, 570 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,480 Speaker 1: not walking around being there all the time talking about 571 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 1: all the stuff that happened to me, you know, me 572 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 1: saying I may not had my father, but all these 573 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,080 Speaker 1: women showed up for me. Tiffany had its showed up 574 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,760 Speaker 1: for me, you know, on the sites, showed up for me. 575 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 1: They created opportunities for me so that I could be 576 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 1: and I wanted to just I wanted to talk. I 577 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,760 Speaker 1: wanted to process my pain and be on the other 578 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 1: side of it so that maybe you can help somebody 579 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 1: else do that too, because you know, it ain't cool 580 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,160 Speaker 1: to just stay in victim hurd as well. At some 581 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 1: point you got to make a decision about what you 582 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 1: want to do int your life. What was the biggest 583 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,960 Speaker 1: secret or what the what was the biggest set of 584 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,520 Speaker 1: secrets you reveal in this book. I talked without giving 585 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,360 Speaker 1: away the in terms of no I feel you, but 586 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 1: I mean I talked about being sexually abused, you know. 587 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,160 Speaker 1: I talked about being on the run with my mother 588 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 1: who was involved with a man who was wanted murder. 589 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 1: You know, I talk about how how my meeting with 590 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 1: my father and how it went terribly awrhyme when I 591 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,800 Speaker 1: first met her first time. We love to romanticize these things. 592 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,480 Speaker 1: You know, you think, you know, you watch these reality shows. 593 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: You see people crying, Danny, That's not how it is, 594 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:33,040 Speaker 1: you know. I want to I talk about how my 595 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 1: my raw and real feelings about meeting my father and 596 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,880 Speaker 1: was thinking to myself, Wow, my mom send me a faith. 597 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 1: You know, I was like she really, you know, all 598 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 1: money ain't good, buddy, but it was so it was 599 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 1: I talk about I give it, I give away some 600 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,880 Speaker 1: of the stuff. I talk about losing my opprginity and 601 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:55,440 Speaker 1: how I felt like I my value immediately dropped because 602 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:59,240 Speaker 1: I was always how and blown that that was the 603 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: greatest hard is me was the fact that I was 604 00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:02,440 Speaker 1: still a virgin. 605 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:07,360 Speaker 2: You know, you said for probably three or four things 606 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,640 Speaker 2: that all that have all happened to me and not 607 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 2: I like. Meeting my father is disappointing in knowing who 608 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 2: he really is. It's disappointing because we were meanticized. And 609 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,600 Speaker 2: then you talk about the shame associated with something someone 610 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,400 Speaker 2: else did to you, and it may not even be 611 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:27,080 Speaker 2: sexual assault or molestation, but just the shame that that 612 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 2: women carried when they are attacked, and it's this it's 613 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:36,480 Speaker 2: a society problem because we feel like it's we should 614 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 2: be more responsible. 615 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,960 Speaker 1: What did I wear? Can I cover up in a 616 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 1: world where women hate women and men hate women? You know? Yes? 617 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 2: And so it's interesting to me that the story is 618 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 2: so universal and although people share that story, we still 619 00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 2: find ourselves trapped by that that secret. 620 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:57,200 Speaker 1: It has so much power. 621 00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:01,240 Speaker 2: So I am so grateful for you being so honest 622 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 2: and bold and sharing your story because it's most definitely well, 623 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 2: it's going to help, it's going to free someone. 624 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 1: I'll watched these young women that are being driven by 625 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 1: all the stuff that they see on social media. There's 626 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 1: so much real, so much mixed messages, and unfortunately, unfortunately 627 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 1: now when you speak out or you speak up about 628 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: certain things, they get conflated. Right if you say, you 629 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,880 Speaker 1: know there's a direct correlation with women online telling young 630 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,680 Speaker 1: women that you got to get your money. If you 631 00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:32,760 Speaker 1: don't think that affects the way human trafficking happens, you 632 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 1: are out of your mind. If you are continuously telling 633 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 1: young women that the way to get the way to 634 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:42,400 Speaker 1: get things is by your sexual behaviors with men, which 635 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,400 Speaker 1: you should be owning. It shouldn't be about men. Of course, 636 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,440 Speaker 1: it's going to affect some women who are young women 637 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:52,760 Speaker 1: who are being trafficked. My friend works with human trafficking victims, 638 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,800 Speaker 1: and she said, now young women are volunteering to go 639 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 1: to go become sex workers with the cartels because they 640 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,920 Speaker 1: want Gucci and they want nice sneakers, and they have 641 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,840 Speaker 1: people telling them that that's the way to do it. So, 642 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,320 Speaker 1: you know, I feel like if we have so many 643 00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:12,560 Speaker 1: voices pouring into young people saying this is the way 644 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:14,959 Speaker 1: it is, if the least I can do is write 645 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 1: a book and saying, let me tell you it happened 646 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: to me too, girl, I want you to know there's 647 00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:21,880 Speaker 1: the other side of it, and you two have an 648 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,920 Speaker 1: opportunity to heal. Then then I get to heal a 649 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,600 Speaker 1: little bit because of that as well. And I thank 650 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 1: you for that. Thank you for that. 651 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,480 Speaker 2: It took me up a bit, like one third tier 652 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:36,520 Speaker 2: is coming out of my that's up my concealer for 653 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:40,239 Speaker 2: the day. I really appreciate your honesty. It's it's a 654 00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 2: crazy world, right, Like we know of each other. I've 655 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 2: seen you in different rooms and I always just admired 656 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,400 Speaker 2: you from a f arc because I know it's what 657 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:48,879 Speaker 2: you do. 658 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:51,360 Speaker 1: It's too I can do it. You're better than me. 659 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,560 Speaker 3: To me, every champion and car every champions. To be 660 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,719 Speaker 3: a champion, a champion and carry champion and carry chat, 661 00:34:57,760 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 3: be out a champion and carry chapion and. 662 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:09,279 Speaker 1: Care chat entertainment. Get naked, weird, Harry, champion and. 663 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,960 Speaker 3: Carry champion is to be a champion, a champion and 664 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:20,480 Speaker 3: carry champion, champion and carry champion and carry chatiment. 665 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:19,120 Speaker 1: Get naked work. 666 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,320 Speaker 2: We didn't get into acting because obviously it was showing strike. 667 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,480 Speaker 2: But I know I would love to know that you 668 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,480 Speaker 2: have projects. Perhaps when the when the strike is over, 669 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,480 Speaker 2: there are more projects for you coming. 670 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,080 Speaker 1: No, well, you know, first of all, I just say 671 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,040 Speaker 1: something about what you said. You and I both do 672 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:40,239 Speaker 1: stuff that's been dominated by men and been given an 673 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,520 Speaker 1: idea about what we what we are supposed to be 674 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 1: when we do it. And then when you show up 675 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:51,440 Speaker 1: looking cute, pate up, nice dress, you know, looking like 676 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:55,680 Speaker 1: it looks like you belong on the runway with some people. 677 00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:59,080 Speaker 1: Because you can also you speak that too. You're smart, 678 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,799 Speaker 1: you can hang on all levels, and so I thank 679 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,560 Speaker 1: you for giving it to me. I just want to 680 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,720 Speaker 1: give it back to you because I know it's not easy. 681 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,640 Speaker 2: I receive it. It has not been easy. They always 682 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 2: want you to play their way, you know, for better 683 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,640 Speaker 2: or for worse. At the end of the day, I 684 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,880 Speaker 2: just and no one figured this out for me. I'm 685 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,759 Speaker 2: figuring out as I go along, and I look at 686 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,440 Speaker 2: people who like you and other people in my world, 687 00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:25,799 Speaker 2: and I try to surround myself with strong women who 688 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,799 Speaker 2: not by like strongest, like beat everybody up, but women 689 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,839 Speaker 2: who have a constitution. I mean, we all have our 690 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:35,120 Speaker 2: own insecurities, but a constitution to be better and want 691 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:35,800 Speaker 2: to be better. 692 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:38,720 Speaker 1: This is why I try to do this podcast. I'm naked, 693 00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,319 Speaker 1: I ain't perfect. I take my hair off and i'm 694 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:45,360 Speaker 1: malashes too, and I sometimes get mad and I figure 695 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:50,879 Speaker 1: it out. But I think it's important that you use 696 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:52,960 Speaker 1: your talent and your platform the way in which you're 697 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,759 Speaker 1: using it, because you've been chosen, and I hope you 698 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:59,960 Speaker 1: embrace that and receive that and own that same same 699 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:01,640 Speaker 1: And you know what's funny, I want to make sure 700 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,160 Speaker 1: that I stay here too, that I also am going 701 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,080 Speaker 1: to take these lashes off tonight. I'm not going to 702 00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 1: take the hair a little bit longer but it's it's 703 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,800 Speaker 1: funny because we we have to deal with this stuff. 704 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,600 Speaker 1: And I always believe that those of us who are 705 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:20,279 Speaker 1: lighter always have to use our privilege to make create awareness, 706 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,680 Speaker 1: you know, being Latina and we have colorism in our community. 707 00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,359 Speaker 1: But I was mall with my son and this white 708 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 1: lady walked up to me and she was like, that's 709 00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:34,680 Speaker 1: not your hair, is it? He was feel me he was, 710 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,200 Speaker 1: so he was like, do not answer her. And Auntie 711 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,919 Speaker 1: slipped my grades off and I said, as a matter 712 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,520 Speaker 1: of fact, it is good for you. Oh my god, 713 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:50,640 Speaker 1: the audacity, it's all sound. I was like, bitch, it's 714 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:54,400 Speaker 1: my hair, whether I bought it or not, this is 715 00:37:54,480 --> 00:38:00,600 Speaker 1: mine money. It is my hair. But I was like, 716 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:04,040 Speaker 1: it's real. It's on me. Ain't a bus I turned 717 00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:07,200 Speaker 1: into a pair real quick. Yeah, yeah, don't come with me. 718 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:07,799 Speaker 1: I want to have. 719 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:09,399 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm going to take your phone number 720 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:11,120 Speaker 2: or I'm definitely jumping in your DMS as for your 721 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,880 Speaker 2: phone number, because you bring that up. I posted a 722 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:16,120 Speaker 2: picture yesterday and I thought I was real cute, and 723 00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 2: some man jumped on their or probably whomever and was 724 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,840 Speaker 2: like for somebody's girlfriend mad at me and said we 725 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 2: don't like your fake hair. 726 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,400 Speaker 1: And I was just like, and I replied, because I 727 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:26,000 Speaker 1: had like one. 728 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,399 Speaker 2: Hundred somehow comments to write to male cute, I am one, 729 00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:30,960 Speaker 2: of course the one gets to you. And I replied, 730 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,560 Speaker 2: I was like, why is this an issue for you? 731 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,799 Speaker 2: Why does my hair in this photo bother you on 732 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,480 Speaker 2: this day with all that is going on in the world. 733 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:40,960 Speaker 2: And I and I put a laughing face, and my 734 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,680 Speaker 2: girlfriends called me, and they like, because of course they're 735 00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:44,959 Speaker 2: so silly. They love when I give it back, because 736 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:46,040 Speaker 2: normally I just see great. 737 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,640 Speaker 1: But in my mind, I'm only what is this world 738 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:52,080 Speaker 1: we live in where we have to find something wrong 739 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,080 Speaker 1: with everyone or try to stop someone shine you walking 740 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,800 Speaker 1: with your son in the mall, mind your business? Pretty? 741 00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,880 Speaker 1: The lady wants to just be like, that's not yours? Why? 742 00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:05,719 Speaker 1: But how? What? What are you doing? But now we 743 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,799 Speaker 1: know melanin is divine and it is also threatening and 744 00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:14,040 Speaker 1: people who are not it's it's a you know, just 745 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 1: to imagine being part of a group of people that 746 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:20,040 Speaker 1: have worked entire long time. And I'm not talking about 747 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,840 Speaker 1: all white people, but the fact that the white supremacy 748 00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:24,560 Speaker 1: has worked so hard to get rid of black and 749 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:30,759 Speaker 1: brown people. They've tried everything and really remain and thriving, 750 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,080 Speaker 1: and so of course somebody's going to try to. They 751 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,239 Speaker 1: probably read every single one of the good comments that 752 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:41,400 Speaker 1: felt like were like, let me, it's just me. 753 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,000 Speaker 2: I appreciate you. Wait, so where can people get legitimate 754 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:48,160 Speaker 2: It's available wherever. 755 00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:52,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, so legitimate kid is available everywhere books are sold. 756 00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,799 Speaker 1: Please go and support your local bookstores, like the independent 757 00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,279 Speaker 1: bookstores that are hauled by black and brow people who 758 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:05,480 Speaker 1: suffered greatly during COVID. So please go and support those bookstores. 759 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,480 Speaker 1: That's how they stay alive. And they supply you with 760 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:12,680 Speaker 1: the books that we write that other places down't. And 761 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,360 Speaker 1: so if you need to go to Funny Ada funny 762 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,520 Speaker 1: ai d a dot com and took the link in 763 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,279 Speaker 1: the bio and and I'll let you know. 764 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,279 Speaker 2: Where you can get the book. I'm gonna buy some 765 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 2: from my foundation. When you see the random lady who 766 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:28,040 Speaker 2: bout fifty is for her foundation, I thank you, old money. 767 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:30,640 Speaker 2: It's for little brown girls who need who need to 768 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,319 Speaker 2: hear your story. Thank you so much. 769 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,960 Speaker 1: You're so kind to you because I was like, you know, 770 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 1: I followed you because I was hating'll make me laugh 771 00:40:42,280 --> 00:40:47,040 Speaker 1: my stomach. Honest, I'm honest. I'm following you now and 772 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,920 Speaker 1: I'll DM you my number and I'll see this picture. 773 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,640 Speaker 1: You look super cute and whoever for. 774 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:56,479 Speaker 2: That Ida, I'm I want you to understand I'm calling 775 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,200 Speaker 2: Kindred after this and tell her this. This is the 776 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,759 Speaker 2: this is really funny and I don't I totally this 777 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:02,800 Speaker 2: is a full circle moment right here. 778 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,719 Speaker 1: And so frendo tell her. I said, Kendrew worked very 779 00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,400 Speaker 1: hard to put me on television. She loved you. She 780 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,200 Speaker 1: tried to get me on a show on Spike TV. 781 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:14,600 Speaker 1: She's always tried to help me and I love her. 782 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,879 Speaker 1: And she she was working under a woman as Spike TV, 783 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,799 Speaker 1: and I was like she should be the lead. Like 784 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:21,719 Speaker 1: she won so. 785 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,799 Speaker 2: Notting me now. So she's doing really well over there 786 00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:25,920 Speaker 2: in that diversity program. 787 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,440 Speaker 1: She loved you. Yeah, I'll tell her that you're the 788 00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:30,040 Speaker 1: I've had. 789 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:34,200 Speaker 2: I had Amanda on I had Hasan Minhaj on my 790 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,759 Speaker 2: TV show. He was saying, and it's so funny, I said, 791 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,160 Speaker 2: I don't think she and another person who doesn't. 792 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:43,040 Speaker 1: Know her effect of how she worked, You never know, 793 00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 1: But you know what, I always feel like me telling 794 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,239 Speaker 1: you this. I know we're laughing about it, but it's 795 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 1: so healing for me to be able to sit here 796 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,759 Speaker 1: and just face you and be like, man, this is 797 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,439 Speaker 1: this is one of those life lessons for me where 798 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:59,160 Speaker 1: I came to myself and I was like, two of 799 00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:02,560 Speaker 1: us can be pretty. Yeah, three million of us can 800 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,200 Speaker 1: be pretty. It has nothing, It doesn't take anything away 801 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,120 Speaker 1: from me. It just I just feel so good to 802 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:09,839 Speaker 1: be able to tell you that because I was so 803 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,600 Speaker 1: broken at that time and it was such a hard 804 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,000 Speaker 1: time for me in my life that I feel so 805 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,920 Speaker 1: good now and I could be like, oh, follows you. 806 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:25,399 Speaker 1: I you know what I you saying that. I Oh wow, 807 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,120 Speaker 1: I received it. I just I kind of learned to 808 00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,600 Speaker 1: just dismiss it because I will probably in my mind, 809 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,400 Speaker 1: as you said it the first time, I'm like, oh, well. 810 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,880 Speaker 2: No, that's normal. I would probably feel away if my 811 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:40,120 Speaker 2: man was giving a sigar th for you to say 812 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,920 Speaker 2: and be so kind and so generous about it and 813 00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:46,719 Speaker 2: honest that has to be like, like you have to know, 814 00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,480 Speaker 2: I too would have probably thought to myself, how she's 815 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:53,319 Speaker 2: so pretty own a like say, I'm so vain. 816 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:56,680 Speaker 1: I feel like the goal of my relationship for a mile. 817 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,719 Speaker 1: I want to be with a man who who can 818 00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:02,000 Speaker 1: tell me, hey, she so fine. I'll be like she 819 00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:06,920 Speaker 1: begs correct me too. That's what That's what I want. Okay, 820 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,240 Speaker 1: So can we meet up in six months and decide 821 00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:10,840 Speaker 1: that that's what we're gonna do from now on. I 822 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,239 Speaker 1: want to do that with you. I want to do 823 00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:13,839 Speaker 1: that with my man. I'm like girl, me and my man. 824 00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:16,279 Speaker 1: It's all you. We thought you was fine, he said this, 825 00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,160 Speaker 1: that and the third. I would love to doing That's 826 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:20,160 Speaker 1: like that's always been the goal for me. And I 827 00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:24,239 Speaker 1: want to be so secure about myself, yeah, threatened by 828 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,400 Speaker 1: other women who are also winny. And so I believe 829 00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,959 Speaker 1: this is divine and God brought me here right after 830 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,040 Speaker 1: my book came out because it is a full circle 831 00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:37,279 Speaker 1: moment for me because you are beautiful, you are talented, 832 00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:40,960 Speaker 1: you are amazing, and you are great and that taketh 833 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:44,480 Speaker 1: nothing away from me. And so you're gonna make me cry. 834 00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:49,400 Speaker 1: I just have a church because me doing this with 835 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,160 Speaker 1: no women. That are these young girls who are listening 836 00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:56,920 Speaker 1: and admiring you for learning a lesson as well, you know, 837 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 1: because we socialize our girls that ate each other. So 838 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,040 Speaker 1: thank you, we do. 839 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,359 Speaker 2: Thank you for that that made me cry because I'm 840 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:06,359 Speaker 2: sure I relate to that and I laugh it off 841 00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,239 Speaker 2: and I ignore it, but it does hurt me when 842 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,680 Speaker 2: people don't like me my first and I know it 843 00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:11,960 Speaker 2: has something to do when I do. 844 00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,439 Speaker 1: So that was a healing moment for me. Something gallin 845 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:16,239 Speaker 1: it Gallin Doll. 846 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:20,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm snotting in Karen on full snot, full snot 847 00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:24,000 Speaker 2: and more than some thug tears being dropped. You guys, 848 00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,920 Speaker 2: check out her website Funnyida dot com. There you can 849 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,640 Speaker 2: go and purchase her book or wherever you get your books. 850 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,320 Speaker 2: But make sure you go out and support her because 851 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,920 Speaker 2: I think it's special. It's always nice to see people 852 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,360 Speaker 2: on their journey of evolution, and I think that she 853 00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,880 Speaker 2: deserves all of the support that she can get. We 854 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,680 Speaker 2: all do, right, Thank you so much for tuning in 855 00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,799 Speaker 2: this week. I will talk to you all next week. 856 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:56,960 Speaker 2: Have a good one, everyone,