WEBVTT - LIA DIAS - Stirring Up Success 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:16.360 Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke. 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:18.800 I'm your host, Colleen Waitt, and today we have very 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:22.400 special guests. Entrepreneur in the building. Yes, and I'm very 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:24.760 excited about saying mompreneur because if your mom out there, 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:28.960 you know what's already that's already a full time self 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:34.239 employed type job. But to add more merit to the motherhood, 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:39.320 we added owner of Hype Hair magazine. Yes, Hype Hair Magazine, 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:41.280 and that's been around for over thirty years. 0:00:41.280 --> 0:00:44.319 Thirty we're celebrating our thirty fifth year anniversary. Thirty we're 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:46.560 going into our thirty fifth year anniversary right now. 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:49.320 And in publishing, that's like monumental because you had to 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:54.800 survive the facebooks, the mindspaces, the Twitter age. Print is out. 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:57.560 We don't advertise in print now. We only sell. We 0:00:57.640 --> 0:01:02.200 buy digital, I mean tweets and all my world. Yeah, 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:04.640 it's it's an I wasn't posting for ten years. Let 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:07.199 me tell you something that one wave where digital came 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:09.800 in and print was out, you had to change a 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:14.119 whole strategy on sales absolutely, and then and distribution. And 0:01:14.160 --> 0:01:16.720 now to add more to that, you bought the Savoy, 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:19.280 which is another which, by the way, if you think 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:22.240 owning a magazine is tough, I would imagine a restaurant is. 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:27.360 Much restaurant, nightclub. Yeah, it's a whole Yeah, it's a 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:27.800 whole thing. 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:31.119 I can only imagine that side. And then to add 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:33.560 even more to that, you got the Girl cave La. 0:01:33.720 --> 0:01:36.120 The Girl cave La is my beauty supply store chain. 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:39.360 We have franchises here in Los Angeles and in Texas, and. 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:43.480 Oh we're in Texas. Let me tell you something. You 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:45.880 are a definition. You're just on your own. It could 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:48.240 be just entrepreneur. I'll take it, you know. I mean 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:52.040 sometimes I hate when people separate it only because it's like, yo, 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:55.280 on its own, You're good, you know, because then it's like, 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:58.800 are you the top of the morepreneurs? Where do you fall? 0:01:58.960 --> 0:01:59.200 Yeah? 0:01:59.360 --> 0:02:04.040 Like, no, you you will be. She's a serial entrepreneur, entrepreneur. 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:07.120 I'm I'm a mother. Yes, I'm a mom, and I'm 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:08.160 just making it happen. Yes. 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:10.600 So on the regular day we were talking about this. 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:12.400 You don't look this stunning. 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:16.160 Time never ever I came like this to see you. 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.720 Okay, yeah, because you look great For all y'all listeners, 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:23.560 they can't see her. She looks ten out of ten phenomenal. 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:25.480 You would never think she was a mom because you 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:26.480 know how else mom's look. 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:28.920 You should have seen me yesterday at the same time, 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:30.000 totally different person. 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:32.760 I love that. I love that for you because I 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:34.639 have this new face where I gained a lot of weight. 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.560 So if it's not stretchy or loose, I don't want 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:37.920 to wear it. 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:38.680 But you look good. 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:41.400 I'm wearing jeans for you. This is my this is 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:42.960 me trying to look good for you. I put on 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:46.680 makeup before you came. But it's an honor to meet you. 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:49.000 I'm very excited. I was very excited when we got 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:49.800 the interview with you. 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:52.080 I was excited when I got the invitation. I'm happy 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:52.639 to be here. 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:55.560 Yes, girl, Yes. And then before we get into all 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:58.320 the tea of a day in the life of a 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:01.959 real serial entrepreneur that's struggling multiple businesses at the same time, 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:03.920 why don't you tell me what you're gonna be cooking 0:03:04.120 --> 0:03:05.000 for lunch today? 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:08.160 So my go to my go to meal is spaghetti. 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:11.400 It's meatless spaghetti though, so it's quick. My daughter probably 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:13.880 hates this. So a single mom for a long time 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:17.280 and my daughter's twenty one now, and she says it 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:19.320 all the time, like, I can't even stand spaghetti anymore 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:21.080 because I feel like I ate it four times a week. 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:25.280 But this was easy. A bell pepper, onion, some sauce. 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:26.360 This is like less than ten. 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:29.959 Dollars, yes, yes? And then now the bell pepper and onions. 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:32.560 Was that something because you wanted to add extra like 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:33.360 bite to it? 0:03:33.440 --> 0:03:35.720 Because I mean, I just felt like it was so 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:38.280 basic just to have salt, mean, just to have sauce 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:40.320 and pasta. So I was like, what can I do that? 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:43.200 And when you go to the produce aisle, it's bell 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:45.560 pepper and onion. That's something you can spice it up with. Yeh. 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:47.600 If I'm feeling really fancy, I'll add mushroom. 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:52.040 Yes, yes, oh mushroom. Now do you saw tea it? 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.720 I sautea it first. Oh, God, sutea it first. And 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:57.280 that's kind of like your replacement for meat. Yeah, you 0:03:57.280 --> 0:03:59.119 can kind of call it like spaghetti. 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:01.520 I didn't like that. I never really cooked mushrooms, but 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:04.280 I one day in my life I will venture off 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:09.560 into mushroom land. I'm not there yet. My husband hates mushrooms, so. 0:04:09.520 --> 0:04:11.160 I'm there in a lot of ways. 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:15.840 But go ahead, start our lunch through the pasta in 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:19.320 the pad and take me back to what was going on, 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:21.760 and you can start. You can start since this is 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:24.479 your stable go to you can start as far back 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:27.400 as you want, which is good for me because I 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:29.640 want to be really inspired today. 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:32.039 Okay, I'm trying to think the first time this became 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:33.560 a thing in my life. I think it was when 0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:37.240 I became a single. I was a teenage single mom. 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:41.159 Oh yeah, I got pregnant with Kayla, my oldest daughter, 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:43.679 when I was eighteen. I had it when I was nineteen. 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:46.520 I was in college and I was just trying to 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:49.840 figure it out, and I gotta get to work, get 0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:52.239 to school, get her to school, gets everything together. 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:55.400 And you said your parents were strict, super strict. Sorry, guys, 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:57.000 I talked before we got on camera. 0:04:57.120 --> 0:04:59.760 You know what, But I feel like that is the rebellion, right. 0:04:59.800 --> 0:05:02.240 So I grew up very sheltered, went to private Christian 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:04.920 school my whole life, went to church every Sunday, and 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.160 nothing's wrong with that. But I never got a taste 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:09.120 of the outside world. So when I got a little 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:11.760 taste of it, oh, I tasted it. I was outside 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:15.039 was outside outside? 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:17.839 What was that discussion like with your parents? Like, hey, guys, 0:05:17.880 --> 0:05:20.560 I'm in college and surprise, you know what. 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:25.480 My mom is deceased now. But she was very intuitive. 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:27.719 She knew the guy was dating and she was like, 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:29.840 don't get pregnant. And I was like, why would I 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:32.599 get pregnant? She was like, don't get pregnant. And I 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:35.039 felt like she knew before I told her. Yeah, I 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:38.839 didn't hide my pregnancy, but I knew something was different. 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:40.680 And because I wasn't I didn't have a wear. I 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:42.640 was a kid. I didn't know what that meant. My 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:44.440 mom knew. She was a registered nurse. So when we 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:47.480 would come home from school and the stomach churts, are 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:49.800 you pregnant? No, I'm not pregnant, And one day I 0:05:49.880 --> 0:05:52.920 was just like, I think I'm pregnant. So yeah, it 0:05:52.960 --> 0:05:56.919 was a eacy. Yeah, she already had the foresight. I 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.359 think had she been blindsided, it would have been worse. 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:02.160 But she kind of had some intuition and was she 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:04.400 so she was kind of supportive or. 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:09.480 You know what I will say, they became supportive. Okay, 0:06:09.480 --> 0:06:11.880 I think they were disappointed. Obviously they were disappointed. 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:15.440 And how did that make you feel like knowing that 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:17.960 that was because that's that's got also. 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:20.520 Like you know, I mean my parents invested a lot 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:23.080 into me as a child. Like like I said, I 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.120 went to private Christian school, I had a lot of 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:28.120 access to a lot of things. I had a nuclear family, 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:30.520 So some of the things that I did in early 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:34.080 adulthood weren't really representative of how I felt like my 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:37.560 parents raised me to be. But they never did not 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.840 support me. They could have been upset with me or disappointed, 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:43.800 but I never felt like I was on my Yeah. 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:46.160 They never like turned their back on you. Yeah, like 0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:46.799 I was great. 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:48.840 Yeah, I was a single parent and things were hard, 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:52.039 but I never was like I was down but never 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:53.200 out If that makes sense. 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:54.960 Good, Yeah, well that's good. 0:06:55.320 --> 0:06:56.320 Yeah, it's good. 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:59.680 So what the father did he poof. 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:03.960 Vanished pool Spanish? Poof Spanish? Where is he? Like? No 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:05.360 poof Banish? 0:07:04.960 --> 0:07:06.760 Oh oh you no relationship right now? 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:07.560 No relationship? 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:11.000 You are a real, real real though you didn't even 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.080 get to argue with the other parents. 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:16.280 Like I think he was involved often on during the pregnancy, 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.480 but I think when Kayla got here and it was 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:21.800 a realization that, like we have this responsibility it was 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:25.360 not something he was ready for, not at all all. 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:29.440 I wasn't either, Yeah, no one's I went through a 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:31.040 phase of being a single parent. Let me just tell 0:07:31.080 --> 0:07:32.960 you something. And people are like, I wasn't ready, Like 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:33.720 do you. 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:37.720 Think no one's ever ready to be a parent? You 0:07:37.840 --> 0:07:39.840 kind of just it's on the job training. 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:42.240 It's on the job training and young and you're young. 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:46.200 So what are you doing to support yourself during this time? 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:48.000 And do you move in with your parents? 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:50.480 Yes? So at this point, I'm living in a dorm 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:54.160 with my best friend. I'm living my best life. And no, 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:56.640 this is when I find out I'm pregnant, and so 0:07:57.400 --> 0:07:59.800 I have my baby shower. Well, actually I take that back. 0:07:59.880 --> 0:08:03.120 I have like a small baby shower. And then the 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:06.000 reality of all the things that I need and I 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:08.840 don't have kind of sets in. And so I asked 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:11.280 my parents to come back home. Of course they immediately 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:15.119 were like yes. But my mom made me pay rent 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:17.200 and she made me have like a plan of action 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:18.840 to get out. She would always tell me there cannot 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:22.239 be two queens in this castle. So you're the queen 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:24.760 now of your house. So you got to figure this out. 0:08:24.800 --> 0:08:27.960 And so there was support but there was a very 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:30.320 big push to get me out. And when I oversaved 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:32.120 my welcome, my mom put me out for sure. 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:34.600 Oh damn. 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:35.080 Yeah. 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:36.920 Yeah, you're saying that she never turned her back, but 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:37.400 she had this. 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:39.560 It was her, it was her rule. 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:41.280 It was did you understand it at the time. 0:08:41.400 --> 0:08:44.160 I didn't understand it at the time. We fall you know, 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.600 had a big falling out. I felt like she didn't 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:48.400 have my back. But really what it was is that 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:50.560 I made my bed. I had to lie in it. 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:52.920 It was my responsibility, it was my daughter, was not 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:55.680 her responsibility. And she saw me not doing the things 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.480 that I needed to do to prepare for my life 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:01.640 as a single parent, and she just said, you got 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:03.520 to learn. So damn. 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:05.880 But you want to know something, I know for a 0:09:05.920 --> 0:09:08.079 fact that this is why you are as strong and 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:09.440 powerful as you are today. 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:12.480 I say all the time that that those moments are 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:14.920 the moments that like cultivate, like there's nothing that I 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:17.120 feel like I can't do. You know what I mean, 0:09:17.160 --> 0:09:20.280 Like if you can be nineteen years old trying to 0:09:20.280 --> 0:09:21.840 figure out how you're going to pay rent and feed 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.040 a kid, and you could do anything. 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:27.199 Yeah, that's when my homeboy told me once, me and 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.640 my husband severay I became a single mom, and he 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:33.360 told me, if I can survive this chapter, absolutely, he 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:36.040 was like, you will be invincible. Do you know that? 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:39.840 I feel even remember what we're talking about before, part 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:43.440 of me feels like I've seen I've seen the worst. 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:45.720 I feel like I've seen the worst. I'm just saying, like, 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:48.760 if I survived that shit and things is cool. 0:09:49.040 --> 0:09:52.240 I'm just saying. I'm just saying, so I feel that experience. 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:54.000 You know what that feels like, right, Like when you 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:56.559 get through like the trenches, you're like, oh, there a 0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:57.160 walking apart. 0:09:57.520 --> 0:10:00.000 And I think it's a balance of Also, i'd imagine, 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:02.079 and I want to talk about the emotional sign is 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:04.920 like you're going through the motions of heartbreak and oh 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:07.600 my god, what did I do? And also survival where 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:10.800 you got to almost bench press or you know, shove 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:13.199 your feelings yeah, and be like Okay, I'm gonna have 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:15.880 to deal with you at a way later date and 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:17.240 put on my survival skills. 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:19.280 Yeah. I don't have time to be emotional. The rents, 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:23.200 do the baby school, tuition, is do all the things, oh, 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:26.360 the daycare. I gotta be at work, so I feel 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.240 like I didn't even really feel it, you know what 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:31.360 I'm saying, because I was just in survival mode. It 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:33.800 took me years and years to kind of like understand, 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:36.920 Like I'm not even gonna say trauma because that's so dramatic, 0:10:37.320 --> 0:10:39.960 but like the weight of it, yeah, like it's heavy. 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:42.040 Yeah, you don't think there's a little bit of trauma 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:42.320 in there? 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:45.760 Is it trauma? 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:48.520 I mean, you remarried, so maybe, but if you hadn't, 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:50.440 you'd have to wonder if there was a little bit 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:51.160 of trauma there. 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:58.200 I actually remarried twice, so sorry, okay, okay, but yes, 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:01.360 all of it. Yeah, but I don't know, girl. 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:05.760 Okay, So I'm glad you're not laboring it labeling it 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.720 as trauma. That's I'll attribute that to your strength. 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:11.160 Okay, Yeah, but you're right, it is a little bit 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:14.000 of trauma. I'm maybe never pictured it as that it is, 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:16.760 to be honest with you, though, because it's something you 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:17.760 do have to heal from. 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:20.760 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's trauma. Yeah, because eventually you had 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:21.640 to revisit. 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:24.240 It, right for sure, and it comes up in the 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:27.120 moments and the seasons that you're not expecting. Yeah, right, 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:30.280 like even now, when I feel pressure, I'm like, oh 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:33.600 my god, like I'm reminded of those times, even at 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:36.040 forty one years old, and that was when I was eighteen. 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:39.520 Ye so yeah, it's real. Dang, it's real. 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.360 Okay. So how long were you at Mama's house before 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:44.679 the queen had the little mini queen had lived. 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:48.520 I know, my dad is probably gonna say it wasn't 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:50.760 we let you know, dad, y'all put me out. 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:51.960 It was as good though. 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:53.800 Yeah, no, it's good. I tell them all the time. 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:55.679 I had the best parents in the world because they 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:57.880 taught me to have to be self sufficient. 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:02.280 It was maybe about ye okay, Oh yeah, that's brutal. 0:12:02.800 --> 0:12:07.280 That's brutal, okay, but that okay. So you move out, 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:08.600 you get like a little. 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:13.920 Bent, a little like I'm like, I don't even want 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:16.600 to call it a one bedroom. It might have been 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:20.360 a studio. I don't even I remember looking at all 0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:22.480 areas of the house for one space. It was a 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:24.840 little small space and Kaylyn and I made it work. 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:28.280 I remember she painted like the walls pink, black and white. 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:31.360 And she was one or two or something. No, no, no, 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:32.760 whoa as you got as we. 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:35.080 Got older, but yeah, that was like kind of like 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:37.320 our hug. That was our place for a while until 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:38.080 I figured it out. 0:12:38.120 --> 0:12:39.280 And what were you doing for work? 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.440 Let's see, I was working at Burlington Coke Factory as 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:47.360 a lost prevention agent. Yeah, yeah, what was I doing? 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.480 I was working just like for a temp agencies. Like 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:52.520 because I was in school too, so I was going. 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:54.480 To You were still going to school too, jesus. 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:56.440 So no, this is a good thing that my parents did. 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:59.080 So they would not watch Kayla for me if I 0:12:59.080 --> 0:13:00.720 had to go out or hang out with friends, but 0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:03.040 if I had school or work, they always helped. So 0:13:03.080 --> 0:13:04.920 even if I was living on my own, So the 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.720 routine was I would go to work at night. I'm sorry, 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:10.600 we go to school at night, get off obviously, do 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:12.080 my mom thing, wake up in the morning and take 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.199 her to school and just start all over again and 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:15.439 go to work. And I was kind of like my 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:17.560 routine to help me with her in the evening. 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:19.719 Well that's that's a blessing exactly. And let me tell 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:22.720 you something, no disrespect to having children, shout outs. I 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:24.640 love my child. But like if I had to choose 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:27.080 between school and like an additional three hours with my 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:30.360 kid every day, I'll choose school. Yeah, I'm glad I 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:31.200 would take this guy. 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:36.120 The moms understand what that mean, like you, it's inaction. 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:38.959 I will gladly take school. 0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:41.240 Look at this, I'm about to burn over three hours. 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.160 I don't think you could burn it overcook it, that's 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:48.720 what Okay, okay, so already fascinated by this, this chapter 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:52.719 of Brokeness, so super brokeness. So your daughter and was 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:53.719 living off spaghetti. 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:56.520 You were living off spaghetti. We were living off a 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:57.959 poyo loco. 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:02.720 Like, okay, in school? So you graduate school for what. 0:14:02.760 --> 0:14:05.040 I graduated with my degree in social work. 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:09.320 Social work? Isn't that an industry that doesn't really pay. 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.520 Not at all? But I just wanted to fix the world, 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:13.880 I said. I wanted to tell pregnant and parenting teens. 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:15.400 I wanted to I. 0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:17.000 Feel you, though, because I always tell myself, if I 0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:19.840 became rich, smart, like my whole life's work would be 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:22.000 dedicated to single moms, like I would be like, yo, 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:27.960 I'm totally we're gonna help you all out. And okay, okay, 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:30.160 so you're don't burn itself. 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:30.680 I don't. 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:35.080 I got the fake insurance here. I try to y'all all, 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:37.880 y'all successful people will be relying solely on your insurance. 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:42.120 I think I got this. I've done it too many times. Yes, yes, 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:47.160 oh that's up. Oh we we got it. 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:48.040 You got it? 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:48.480 I do. 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:52.320 Okay. So at what point after this degree comes in, 0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:55.600 do you say, hmmm, I think I want to venture 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:57.600 off into crazy, crazy entrepreneur lands. 0:14:57.600 --> 0:15:00.280 It was a long time, so the degree was life 0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:02.160 changing for me because I was able to go get 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:06.360 a job where I had a regular paycheck benefits because 0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:10.600 I worked for La County DCFS. Okay, like eight years. 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:12.320 Okay, do you get pensions and all that? 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.200 All of that. I didn't stay long enough to get it. 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:15.680 I think you have to stay like ten years to 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:18.680 get vested. I left right before that point. But the 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:23.160 benefits are amazing, health insurance, paid time off, vacation, all 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:24.760 the stuff that you don't get at the kind of 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.680 jobs I was working before. So that's kind of like 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:32.400 when my life got easier. Okay, Yeah, I think Kayla 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:33.440 would say the same thing. 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:36.920 God and she and then were you vocal about what 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:38.600 you guys were going through because it was the two 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:38.880 of you? 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.320 Yeah, I feel like maybe a little too vocal, right. 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:45.080 She knew a lot of things she knew. You know 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:48.800 that sometimes I didn't have it and sometimes but what 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:50.760 I never tried to do was make her feel it 0:15:50.800 --> 0:15:52.520 too much, you know what I mean? Like I never 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:55.560 had her excluded from anything at school, you know, the 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:57.960 field trip or something like that. I always tried to 0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:00.280 send her with the best. Yeah, because I never her 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:02.160 to feel what I was going through. Yeah. Yeah. So 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:04.720 even now, like we've had conversations she's twenty one now, 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:07.600 thank god, and she'll say, you know, I remember having 0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:09.120 this and that and I don't know how you did it. 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:10.720 And I'm like, I don't know how I did it either, 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:13.840 but we made it happen. So I made it happen. 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.280 But now, are you guys because you went through that, 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:19.520 are you guys like more like best friends ish parents type? 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:22.240 I feel like even though her mom, we more have 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:26.000 like a big sister little sister type relationship. She still 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:28.120 very much relies on me and listens to me. But 0:16:28.840 --> 0:16:29.800 we're just so close. 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.680 Okay. I love that close. I love that so close, 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:36.000 so close. Okay, So okay, you're doing the social work, 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:36.920 you're working for eight years. 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.480 You say, mm hmm dcfs yep. 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:41.880 Where does the bugs start to pivot. 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:45.320 So I got married, Okay, Yeah, I got married and 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:49.720 my ex husband was a business owner and a physician, okay, 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.080 and he kind of put in my ear so you 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:54.320 know you. I helped him with his business while I 0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:56.200 was working at DCFS, and he said, you you can, 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.560 you figure the things out, like you could do this. So, 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:02.080 even though we're not on good terms now, in those moments, 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:03.880 he did inspire me to let me know that if 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:06.040 he could, you know, have a full time job as 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:07.680 a physician and run a business like I could do 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:09.920 it too. Like I have that insight, I have that instinct, 0:17:10.440 --> 0:17:11.919 and I came from a family. 0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.119 Of business owners. He was he was a physician and 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:17.240 running a business, yes, and then he realized you could 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:17.680 do the same. 0:17:17.760 --> 0:17:18.040 Yep. 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:20.199 I was helping him a lot, okay right with his 0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:22.040 business and what business was he in. 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:24.440 He had a juice bar. He had a franchise juice bar, 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:26.439 so I helped run that, and then he had a 0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:29.680 practice as a position he practice, so there were a 0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:31.280 lot of things that we did together to put in 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:35.000 place to get his business off the ground. And being 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:38.040 successful in his space empowered me to say, if I 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:40.439 can help this man make. 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:41.360