Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 2: Hi guys, Hi coming in hat, hat, Hat, coming in hat.
Speaker 2: I wondered if you wanted to pull any pins. Kramer, Oh,
Speaker 2: I just got like nauseous.
Speaker 1: Did you? I don't know. Your husband, thanks told me
Speaker 1: to rub a coin on it, a silver coin.
Speaker 2: I go, could we use sorry silver drops and shit?
Speaker 2: That feels more sanitary. So Catherine has a you know
Speaker 2: what it looks like? Remember the girls in high school
Speaker 2: or dudes that would or actually this happened when I
Speaker 2: was pregnant, but when you puke pop.
Speaker 1: The Yeah, I think that's what it is. No, but
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I read after Emmy's friends like
Speaker 1: discovered it on my eye and he was like, stop
Speaker 1: doing drugs, mom, you know, being dramatic, But I like, literally, yeah,
Speaker 1: I looked it up and it could be like a
Speaker 1: I did have, Like I had like a sneeze attack
Speaker 1: the other day, and that can happen. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Otherwise I got nothing. I had no idea. It wasn't
Speaker 1: even bothering me. But now it is a.
Speaker 2: Little bit Welcome to the forty Sorry, did you put
Speaker 2: any little drops in?
Speaker 1: I've done nothing, but I might go try the silver
Speaker 1: coin that your husband suggested. I mean, I would wash
Speaker 1: it for that's what she said. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: not worried about it, being I could you just use
Speaker 1: the drops, like the silver drops.
Speaker 2: I think that's what Maybe we just americanized this strategy.
Speaker 1: You can send it to me, but I bet his
Speaker 1: works better, you know, stuff like that always works better.
Speaker 2: I do think it will just distract you with whatever
Speaker 2: it gives you next with the dirty money, but that's fine.
Speaker 1: I mean, okay, just send me the drops. We'll see
Speaker 1: how they.
Speaker 2: Okay, go make sure you get a tetanus shot after earth.
Speaker 2: I was like that was.
Speaker 1: You're like right away? Was like, or something clean? How
Speaker 1: are the.
Speaker 2: Shots going a great? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You feel good? Yeah, I mean I've had moments. I've
Speaker 1: definitely had some nauseous moments. And every day is a
Speaker 1: little bit different, more hungry some days not the other.
Speaker 1: But I'm down like ten pounds, oh my gosh, and
Speaker 1: like two and a half weeks, right, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: sure a lot of it inflammation, you know, I'm sure
Speaker 1: like water weight and inflammation and stuff that went away.
Speaker 1: But yeah, so I'm sticking to this one. For now.
Speaker 1: As long as it's working, I won't even up the dosage, right, like,
Speaker 1: as long as I'm losing weight. So and you feel good, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel great again. There have been some moments where
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I kind of feel nauseous, but nothing terrible.
Speaker 2: Is there anything that you're surprised? You feel like any
Speaker 2: fun benefits.
Speaker 1: It's just to actually feel so like full is actually
Speaker 1: a very weird. It's been a very weird feeling. I
Speaker 1: don't know that I've just always maybe stopped myself in
Speaker 1: time to feel that actual fullness. But like it's kind
Speaker 1: of bizarre in a way, you know, like it's like
Speaker 1: I have only eaten half of this now. It's definitely
Speaker 1: more full than you know, probably a lot of people.
Speaker 1: But I'm just like, how am I? Like this is
Speaker 1: just not like me to actually feel ful right now?
Speaker 1: But no, it's I mean it's been good. Yeah, there
Speaker 1: is happy.
Speaker 2: You know, there is like an actual that's a thing
Speaker 2: in people's bodies to not get full. Yeah, people that
Speaker 2: are missing I don't know if it's the chemical or
Speaker 2: the nerve or whatever it is that allows them to
Speaker 2: know that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just really it just last thing was it
Speaker 1: just really gets you to a point where it's like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm good, I don't want to keep eating because this
Speaker 1: tastes good, you know, which there's times you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: i'm full, I don't want to keep eating, but it
Speaker 1: tastes so good, I'm just going to keep eating that
Speaker 1: somehow goes away. I'm like, yeah, I had a piece
Speaker 1: of pizza last night and I was like that tastes
Speaker 1: really good and it was great. I'm good, I got it.
Speaker 2: I'm done.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm done, you know, and so great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Anyway, So you guys.
Speaker 2: I'm just avoiding.
Speaker 1: I know you are. So we've got to I just feel.
Speaker 2: Like last week, I well I just took over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but see, I've been waiting a whole week for
Speaker 1: you to take over again and tell me. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: had a.
Speaker 2: Couple of pins.
Speaker 3: We do okay, fine, all on pin both of them.
Speaker 2: Maybe I bet we can talk her into it.
Speaker 1: If it's a maybe. Usually Cat and I can get
Speaker 1: you in a day.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So one was there was an incident again at the
Speaker 3: baseball and so and I had to leave because Jolie
Speaker 3: had a game at the same time. So I and
Speaker 3: there were different fields. So I stayed for a few
Speaker 3: minutes of Jase's and then had to go and then
Speaker 3: and then went to Jolie's, and there was an incident
Speaker 3: with the same kid, and this time it was Mike
Speaker 3: who yelled. And what happened was is Jace got hit
Speaker 3: with the baseball bat inside the cage, which the boys
Speaker 3: the boys. I'm I'm not gonna call just one out,
Speaker 3: but like, boys shouldn't be swinging the clubs around or
Speaker 3: the bats around. And he ended up having a fair
Speaker 3: little large bruise on his arm. And so because this
Speaker 3: has happened a few times my and Mike, he's like, hey,
Speaker 3: I just said, need to tell you what happened, and
Speaker 3: and uh, I go straight to the ready to fire
Speaker 3: off a text message and just be like, this is
Speaker 3: unacceptable and he shouldn't he should be you know, he
Speaker 3: got a bruise to his face a couple weeks ago,
Speaker 3: that's because the ball hit him. That's fine for bruises
Speaker 3: to happen out in the field, it shouldn't be happening
Speaker 3: in the cage by his own teammates. And I obviously
Speaker 3: drafted a text message send it to both of you guys.
Speaker 3: You gave me your edits, and then I edited down
Speaker 3: because I'm like, I'm not going to be on the
Speaker 3: team anymore if you're like you know, because I just
Speaker 3: go I'm not going to.
Speaker 2: Take our ball and go home, but we are. We're
Speaker 2: going to get a little self control in the dugout.
Speaker 2: So I ended up not sending it just at all.
Speaker 2: I kind of wanted. I'm starting to I'm trying to
Speaker 2: not be reactive, and what I've done for the last
Speaker 2: few years is my unsent text messages. I have a
Speaker 2: lot of unsent text messages in my phone, but they're
Speaker 2: helpful for me to just write them out. Sure, so
Speaker 2: I did this with that, and I just didn't know
Speaker 2: if I wanted to say anything. It was also weird
Speaker 2: because she's a friend, like we hang out off the field,
Speaker 2: so I knew if I sent something like this, it's
Speaker 2: going to affect a friendship as well, and so.
Speaker 3: I ended up not sending it. But she mentioned something
Speaker 3: to me at the game. She goes, hey, so did
Speaker 3: you hear what happened? And I was like, I did,
Speaker 3: and if I'm honest, I'm really I was really disappointed
Speaker 3: I didn't hear from you, because if that would have happened,
Speaker 3: like other people reached out to me, and I was
Speaker 3: surprised not to hear from you, and that's what I
Speaker 3: was like, I gotta be honest. It did upset me,
Speaker 3: and she was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: And so then we had like a good conversation with it,
Speaker 3: and she kind of said, she's like, I didn't see it,
Speaker 3: and I didn't know the extent of it, and so
Speaker 3: in that moment, it really made me realize that, you know,
Speaker 3: and I thought maybe she was upset because of Mike's reaction,
Speaker 3: because I mean, it was a loud scream, like Alan
Speaker 3: was there watching it because he stayed and so that
Speaker 3: I could go to Jolie's, and so, you know, I
Speaker 3: thought maybe she was un upset about the reactions. And
Speaker 3: I think it's important. I'm glad I didn't send it
Speaker 3: because I made up that she witnessed the whole thing.
Speaker 3: And that's when it was a really good lesson for
Speaker 3: me because of my quick reaction to send something she
Speaker 3: didn't know the extent of it, you know. So I
Speaker 3: think I still could have sent it and she would
Speaker 3: have said like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, But
Speaker 3: I was holding on just making up a story that
Speaker 3: actually wasn't true. And I think that was just such
Speaker 3: a good lesson for me, not to realize that we
Speaker 3: do that a lot, where we'll make up what we
Speaker 3: think happened and then and then make assumptions about other
Speaker 3: people because they didn't reach out or because they didn't
Speaker 3: do X, Y and Z, and then we get even
Speaker 3: more upset when really that's not, like none of those
Speaker 3: stories end up being true.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm the worst at that. I always make up
Speaker 1: stories in my head. It's so hard. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't even know how to stop that a lot of
Speaker 1: the time. But that's awesome that you did and that
Speaker 1: you were able to then talk to her and find
Speaker 1: out what the truth is behind it.
Speaker 3: And I'm glad I did say it bothered me because
Speaker 3: I'm like that no matter what, that was the truth,
Speaker 3: whether you know she did didn't text me or not, like,
Speaker 3: it was still something that I'm glad I was, I said,
Speaker 3: because I was holding onto it but then realizing everything
Speaker 3: I made up in my mind right was actually not true.
Speaker 1: Right, And it's okay to be honest and say, yes,
Speaker 1: this did upset me. Yeah, Like that's what we should
Speaker 1: do as adults. I think that that's you know, I'm
Speaker 1: glad it worked out that way. I had a feeling
Speaker 1: you didn't send it, and I'm proud of you. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been able to do it, so you sent
Speaker 1: it probably. Yeah, you know me, I'm bad at that
Speaker 1: stuff really. Oh yeah, I'm reactionary, but that kind of
Speaker 1: kid kids, Oh kids, Yeah.
Speaker 2: That's the kid thing. I don't know that I could especially, yeah, waited.
Speaker 2: I don't know that I could have waited, but I
Speaker 2: will say so. Amy and I have talked about this,
Speaker 2: the filling in the blanks therapist Amy, because she said
Speaker 2: creative people and especially interesting with your brain because you're
Speaker 2: like a producer movie person in your brain. You have
Speaker 2: a very production oriented mind, which is what I like
Speaker 2: about you and my lighting today. But she says that
Speaker 2: creative people can get more creative when they're filling in
Speaker 2: the blanks, and so sometimes the creativity works against us. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I do this in marriage. Fill in the blanks. Oh
Speaker 2: uh huh gets really creative. So like if I don't
Speaker 2: give any example, well like not so much anymore, mostly
Speaker 2: because I don't even know what day or time it is.
Speaker 2: But for a while there it was really important for
Speaker 2: me to hear from him pretty often. It's also connective,
Speaker 2: but there would be like these three hour four hour gaps,
Speaker 2: and you know, like we have a saine in our house,
Speaker 2: like days feel like hours to him and hours feel
Speaker 2: like days to me on my end, and so he
Speaker 2: I would be like it has been four hour, you know,
Speaker 2: like I make up a store. He must be having
Speaker 2: this lavish dinner or maybe he's you know, like whatever,
Speaker 2: it gets really creative, and that's just not true. Like
Speaker 2: he'll call and be like, hey, I was in you know,
Speaker 2: seventeen interviews and then I went to go use the
Speaker 2: bathroom for the first time today, like you know whatever,
Speaker 2: gracious assumption and what you filled in the blank was
Speaker 2: just dramatic. Or there's you know, a radio, like maybe
Speaker 2: there's somebody out there and he's in some in depth
Speaker 2: conversation and there's probably something, you know, like there's there
Speaker 2: a girl there I don't know, right, Or is X,
Speaker 2: Y and Z more important than me to be talking
Speaker 2: to me? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, Oh you couldn't. You didn't pee,
Speaker 2: You couldn't even just call me when you went to go,
Speaker 2: you know what I.
Speaker 1: Mean, Like like that you couldn't have your phone in
Speaker 1: pee at the same time. Come on, guys, post post
Speaker 1: do your.
Speaker 2: Especially if they're number two and then number one business?
Speaker 2: Yeah right, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So it's almost like we have to like ask ourselves,
Speaker 3: where do you fill in the blank?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can make a case for anything. That's
Speaker 2: I'm really a firm believer of that, specifically in my
Speaker 2: life lately, Like I can make a case one side
Speaker 2: or the other if I wanted to, you could find anything.
Speaker 3: So you have to make your case in the best way.
Speaker 3: What do you do with your reactions? And have you
Speaker 3: gotten better or no?
Speaker 1: I mean there's only certain people in certain things, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean I definitely if it was someone I didn't know,
Speaker 1: it would be harder for me to do it. If
Speaker 1: I feel comfortable with the person, or if I know them,
Speaker 1: I can jump too quick reactions and I regret it.
Speaker 1: I've gotten better with my words. I'm usually always I
Speaker 1: like to think kind but assertive, but there are times
Speaker 1: that I'm like, if I would have just waited and
Speaker 1: not said anything, it would have worked itself out. But
Speaker 1: it's generally usually just kid related and having issues with kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I just I don't. I think I'm so don't
Speaker 1: want to get walked on or don't want to feel
Speaker 1: like I'm being abused in some way that sometimes I
Speaker 1: just like over, I'm like, no, if I don't say anything,
Speaker 1: then they're just going to continue to do this if
Speaker 1: I don't. If I don't do this, then something you know,
Speaker 1: And so I just I make up those things in
Speaker 1: my mind when they probably didn't even realize something was
Speaker 1: going on or didn't know or there wasn't bad intent.
Speaker 1: In my mind, A lot of times there's bad intent,
Speaker 1: whether there is or isn't.
Speaker 2: Is that funny how we always go to the negative.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah with everything, Yeah, but also conditioned sometimes to
Speaker 2: feel that way. In our defense, I feel like if
Speaker 2: you put our three histories together, there's enough.
Speaker 1: There is therapist and the couples.
Speaker 2: There say there's enough data and less projection, So there's
Speaker 2: some there's a point where you start to be able
Speaker 2: to rely on what you know to be true about
Speaker 2: most because of things pan out. Yeah, that's me.
Speaker 1: And I would say to kind of defend your initial
Speaker 1: reaction with the baseball thing, and I understand the other friends,
Speaker 1: there has been prior behavior sure to this, So it
Speaker 1: wasn't just this out of nowhere, someone you don't know,
Speaker 1: someone you haven't seen, kind of maybe not behave in
Speaker 1: the best. They're kids, not coming down on this kid.
Speaker 1: But so there was a reason why it was, like, man,
Speaker 1: it happened again, and now it happened to my kid. Sure,
Speaker 1: So I will defend your initial reaction and you being
Speaker 1: upset to it a little bit too, because you've seen
Speaker 1: that behavior. Yeah, and now it's your kid. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: you didn't like it when it was someone else's kid either.
Speaker 1: We talked about it on here. Sure it bothered you
Speaker 1: when it was someone else's kid.
Speaker 2: I also think you're being polite when you say it
Speaker 2: was a pretty substantial Bruce, like I would have been living.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was pretty big.
Speaker 2: I'm really proud of you for being able to bad go.
Speaker 1: Yeah it was.
Speaker 3: Because in my mind, I'm like, it could have been
Speaker 3: a fracture. That's how bad it was.
Speaker 2: I thought it was not real, especially for how quick bruised.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So in my mind, I'm like, if I would
Speaker 3: have seen that, I would have been texting the person
Speaker 3: being like, I'm so sorry. Is it fractured? Can I
Speaker 3: like meet you up? You know, or like what can
Speaker 3: I help with or so?
Speaker 1: And then also to her defense, obviously she didn't see it.
Speaker 1: She heard about it though, Yeah, So to me, I
Speaker 1: still and I'm just gonna be the one to say it,
Speaker 1: I still think she should have reached out hearing about it.
Speaker 1: Having said that, maybe she is the kind of person
Speaker 1: that just avoids. And that's what I'm also learning. I'm
Speaker 1: the personality I want to talk about it. Come to me,
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. Let's not avoid But maybe she's
Speaker 1: avoidant behave you know, right personality And she was just
Speaker 1: scared too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And in her defense, she was even like, oh
Speaker 3: my gosh, you know what I should have you know,
Speaker 3: it's like it was one of those things where it's
Speaker 3: life and busy and shouldn't even like think about it
Speaker 3: that way from not seeing so.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all and all that went. Well, I'm glad that
Speaker 1: worked up, but I'm really more anxious about the other pets.
Speaker 1: So is this the thing that we talked about on
Speaker 1: the phone but you wouldn't tell me?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, So, oh, literally two days ago, we're talking about work.
Speaker 1: She's like, so, I've really got something I gotta tell you,
Speaker 1: but I can't tell you I'm like, you literally can't
Speaker 1: do that to me.
Speaker 2: Do I know about this?
Speaker 1: Does she know?
Speaker 2: Do I not know?
Speaker 1: She knows? Why am I the only one that doesn't know?
Speaker 2: So I'm being I didn't want it. I know this
Speaker 2: is the series, but this is how this is how
Speaker 2: I must feel often when the two let me tell you.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, I'm like, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: I was like I paused.
Speaker 3: Because I was like because she was like, I can't
Speaker 3: tell y'all. So here's and I did it well, So
Speaker 3: I made sure I didn't. Yesterday, the day that it
Speaker 3: was happening, I said, I texted her. I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm struggling and I want to tell you, but I
Speaker 3: do want to save it for the podcast because I
Speaker 3: don't even know if I want to talk about it
Speaker 3: and so and she had texted back, and you said
Speaker 3: podcasts aside, like if this is something, yeah, I was like,
Speaker 3: if you need like a real friendship moment, this doesn't
Speaker 3: need to be for air, like I want to be there.
Speaker 2: And I also know you don't love talking on the
Speaker 2: phone too, And I.
Speaker 1: Know I feel bad. No I should have reacted that way.
Speaker 2: Well, No, she doesn't usually text me that though, like
Speaker 2: if you're texting me that it is something that's pretty
Speaker 2: like it's not like detrimental, but like, just I can
Speaker 2: tell that it matters a lot because she won't say
Speaker 2: that to me after. That's why I was like, I
Speaker 2: want to just check in.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then even when we got on the phone,
Speaker 3: I was still just like, no, I don't think I
Speaker 3: want to talk about it.
Speaker 2: But I was.
Speaker 3: I actually think I might have called you and you
Speaker 3: didn't answer. Did I FaceTime you and you didn't answer?
Speaker 3: Was there face time? I was like, a FaceTime?
Speaker 1: Do you That happens a lot. Yeah, Well, I don't
Speaker 1: like face times. I'm sorry, love the face and I
Speaker 1: don't look at my missed facetimes like if I haven't
Speaker 1: missed when, I don't like go and look at him.
Speaker 1: So I'm so sorry. Having said that, I'm really anxious
Speaker 1: to find out. So what's going on?
Speaker 3: So I I met Mike's girlfriend?
Speaker 1: Oh wait, is this a new one? I love the cricket?
Speaker 1: Is this a new one?
Speaker 2: This is a new one?
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, I know any one. Well, I guess that's
Speaker 1: the part of.
Speaker 2: So.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I when we had the talk in the office,
Speaker 3: So I knew he had a girlfriend, and and what
Speaker 3: I basically said was, you know, before she meets the kids,
Speaker 3: I'd like to because obviously I know this one's a
Speaker 3: serious one, so I'd like to I'd like to meet
Speaker 3: her before.
Speaker 2: The kids do. Uh.
Speaker 3: And just as I did respect for Mike and Allen,
Speaker 3: so uh. And I was leading up to it, so
Speaker 3: she had come into town because she doesn't live here yet,
Speaker 3: and I we were, you know, going to meet and
Speaker 3: I was so nervous, which I didn't know how to
Speaker 3: like work through my feelings of it because it's such
Speaker 3: a weird thing, like I am and this is like
Speaker 3: the wildest part of it all is like I am
Speaker 3: married with a new baby, and yet it's still hard.
Speaker 3: And I was trying to like understand what piece of
Speaker 3: it is hard because it's just like not a natural
Speaker 3: thing to be going to go meet someone that is
Speaker 3: about to be around my kids a lot, and I
Speaker 3: haven't had experience with.
Speaker 1: That sure at all. Right, were you going, let me
Speaker 1: just set the stage. Were you going to meet just her?
Speaker 3: So that was what was important to me, was for
Speaker 3: it to just be her and I yeah, okay, And
Speaker 3: so yeah, so that that happened and you know, just
Speaker 3: out of respect and privacy, I'm not gonna kind of
Speaker 3: I'm not going to explain all of it, but it
Speaker 3: did strike a because at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: you know, it doesn't matter if because it doesn't it
Speaker 3: doesn't really matter truly what I think, as long as
Speaker 3: she is good around the kids, and.
Speaker 2: That's that's that's the most important thing.
Speaker 3: I just wanted to kind of get to know her
Speaker 3: and be comfortable and knowing that she's, you know, going
Speaker 3: to be around the kids and stuff. So the end
Speaker 3: of the day, you know, I look forward to having
Speaker 3: more conversations with her in time. But it did make
Speaker 3: me think of so aside from that, so that conversation
Speaker 3: is now, you know, that's I don't want to go.
Speaker 3: I don't want to dive more into that because you know,
Speaker 3: I want to keep that thing private. Sure, but it
Speaker 3: made me think of a really interesting post chat idea.
Speaker 3: Would you want a Kristen or a Catherine around your kids?
Speaker 3: Oh so if you are divorced.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is going to be this is
Speaker 1: why three way friendships don't work, because.
Speaker 3: I think it's so interesting because it's like for me,
Speaker 3: I and this is like, oh, the most wild thing ever.
Speaker 3: But you know, we can't pick our dream person for
Speaker 3: other partner, right right, so like we have to accept
Speaker 3: who they bring into our kids. But it just kind
Speaker 3: of made me think because I'm like, man, what a
Speaker 3: what a dream world to be able to like I
Speaker 3: wish there was a show where you could like hand
Speaker 3: select you know, the person for your for for your
Speaker 3: ex husband.
Speaker 2: Trying with the kids.
Speaker 3: But I just was like, man, this is a good
Speaker 3: a good question for the key question for It's like,
Speaker 3: you know, because there's all types of different people, you know,
Speaker 3: and it's like, so would you want a Christian or
Speaker 3: would you want a cat? Because like you know, you're
Speaker 3: I think you were like, how do I say this?
Speaker 1: Like I would want to Kristen, I'll just say that
Speaker 1: you would want I would want you absolutely, But I
Speaker 1: can't think I would want to.
Speaker 2: But I think I would want to Catherine.
Speaker 1: Okay, I appreciate that, but we couldn't have two of me.
Speaker 1: So I pick a Christian. So I picked me because
Speaker 1: of default?
Speaker 2: Why would you pick Kristin?
Speaker 3: Now? I would?
Speaker 1: I mean I think I feel sweaty. I don't know
Speaker 1: why for asking me and you this question is very
Speaker 1: different than asking someone completely like for me, like you're
Speaker 1: always going to want something that you're not.
Speaker 2: I feel like a little bit you know, that's interesting.
Speaker 2: I think that might be the question for her. I
Speaker 2: think this is why it's coming up for her because
Speaker 2: she doesn't know if she wants someone that's like her
Speaker 2: or not like her? Is that true? I'm talking about
Speaker 2: her like she's not right right?
Speaker 1: Maybe I feel like for me, I would like them
Speaker 1: to have like a more Yes. I think me and
Speaker 1: you have enough in common that it would be great
Speaker 1: because we still have our foundation, we still have like
Speaker 1: our belief system, we still have all that. But you
Speaker 1: might react differently to things, and those are the things
Speaker 1: that could help you know them having a different like
Speaker 1: viewpoint of that as kids, like not just seeing me
Speaker 1: as a mom and how I react to different things,
Speaker 1: but how you react to different things, Like I think
Speaker 1: that could be cool.
Speaker 2: I would marry you, Kat, you're just a cat. I
Speaker 2: won't want to well, because I just always wonder it's
Speaker 2: like if do you want someone that I mean is
Speaker 2: And this isn't like trying to personalities here, but like
Speaker 2: you know, you're more touchy and like huggy, and it's
Speaker 2: like I don't know if I you know, if I'm
Speaker 2: threatened by that, you know what I mean? So true,
Speaker 2: it's like what I feel threatened if the if the
Speaker 2: other person was. And again this all goes back to
Speaker 2: I just want the kids to feel loved, right, But
Speaker 2: I'm also speaking from it is going to be hard
Speaker 2: to have another woman around my kids because I'm not
Speaker 2: used to that. So and that's something where I didn't
Speaker 2: I stayed so long. Like now I'm at a place
Speaker 2: and you know, Kat, you've been on this journey with
Speaker 2: me longer. But why I want I told you one
Speaker 2: of the main reasons when it happened. And she's like,
Speaker 2: you're gonna leave right, And I'm like, my daughter is
Speaker 2: four months old, like no, like, and I was like
Speaker 2: she is because I'm like, if he was to be
Speaker 2: with someone then there she might call them mom, and
Speaker 2: she like it is like this is my daughter, my child.
Speaker 2: But now it's like they're going.
Speaker 3: To get the emotion, what those emotions and that like
Speaker 3: I'm mom. If anything, this person is going to be
Speaker 3: just an added awesome bonus of love and fun and whatever.
Speaker 3: But I do think there's different personality types that I'm
Speaker 3: just kind of it started to make me think like, huh,
Speaker 3: like what would I what would I have wanted or
Speaker 3: what what?
Speaker 1: Or what?
Speaker 3: You know, what what would be good or what would
Speaker 3: make me feel? I don't know, it's just something interesting.
Speaker 3: You a question, Cramer, go for it.
Speaker 2: What is something she would do that would make you
Speaker 2: maybe feel insecure? Oh? Nothing, nothing? Okay, if I'm being
Speaker 2: totally honest, Yeah, yeah, Like I know now I think
Speaker 2: I might be insecure if someone was way over the
Speaker 2: top fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I think it would be fun insecure for sure.
Speaker 2: Like I would when you said a fun whatever, I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, oh well, they better not be having
Speaker 2: too much on because.
Speaker 3: Because I know now I'm secure enough in my Like
Speaker 3: I know I'm secure enough in the mom like I
Speaker 3: mom that, Like I would make forward to him having
Speaker 3: someone around the kids because I there's a piece of
Speaker 3: me that's like, great, she's going to help cook awesome
Speaker 3: meals for them, and great she's going to have help
Speaker 3: them you know, maybe not be on the video games
Speaker 3: all the time. Like I make up that like having
Speaker 3: a woman presence around the kids more at Mike's house
Speaker 3: will help with getting them out more and being more active,
Speaker 3: you know. So I like I I welcome and that's
Speaker 3: why I told her. I was like, I welcome having
Speaker 3: you know, a female presence around my kids there, you know. Uh,
Speaker 3: and we are so different that I think it works
Speaker 3: where they're going to get things from, you know. Like again,
Speaker 3: I'm always mom, so it's sure sure, like well, nobody
Speaker 3: can do. I hope she has fun. I hope she's
Speaker 3: fun with you know what I mean, Like, I hope
Speaker 3: for that that would be great.
Speaker 2: But I don't think.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm I'm older obviously, and you know, so
Speaker 3: I'm very secure and are you older than her? Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: but like and I'm like not insecure about that, like
Speaker 3: I I love being my age and yeah, yeah, the
Speaker 3: steadiness of my age. I think I even sometimes get
Speaker 3: this feeling. I don't know if it's maybe it is insecurity,
Speaker 3: but I get it in my own marriage because my
Speaker 3: husband's the fun one, right because I'm there all the
Speaker 3: time and I'm legend will say Mama is the say
Speaker 3: your prayers and your thank yous and whatever, and so
Speaker 3: I'm like sometimes I do get that feeling, like but
Speaker 3: I'm fun too, Like someone has to be the structure,
Speaker 3: you know, well, and I think that's the piece where like, yeah,
Speaker 3: because the end of the day, right, if I'm not
Speaker 3: on something or filming, it's only seven to eight days there.
Speaker 2: So it's like let them.
Speaker 3: Let them, let that be the house where they have
Speaker 3: you know, the fun too, because it's like there is
Speaker 3: fun here.
Speaker 2: But yeah, they're going to get more of the or
Speaker 2: the harder you know, responsibilities and day to day here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what would make me so insecure? I already know
Speaker 1: would be.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I mean think about like you and Nick
Speaker 3: were heading towards divorce, so like what would what kind
Speaker 3: of woman?
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, what would make me so insecure? Because this
Speaker 1: already makes me insecure with some of my kids friends
Speaker 1: parents giving like them giving advice because we talk about everything, right,
Speaker 1: we talk about all the things, you know, I give
Speaker 1: them the advice that they ask it. But if they
Speaker 1: were to listen to that other mother stepmother for advice,
Speaker 1: and I didn't agree with it, but they went with
Speaker 1: that advice, that would kill me, That would just destroy me.
Speaker 1: But I said, but why don't you listen to me?
Speaker 1: Like what you know? That would tap into some kind
Speaker 1: of insecurity that I would not Like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely have these little pieces of me like
Speaker 2: even as you're talking and thinking about things that like
Speaker 2: are like triggering if you will, where I'm just like.
Speaker 1: Well, I would love to do that if I didn't
Speaker 1: have to.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was so easy for her to say it
Speaker 1: could be it could be great, could be bad. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I know I.
Speaker 2: Don't speak too highly often of Michael, but I actually
Speaker 2: feel I do feel excited for him to have this
Speaker 2: in his life. Yeah, because I think he'll I think
Speaker 2: it'll be good for him and for your kids. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I think it's going to be good.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: you know again, I know, having the kids here and
Speaker 3: primarily having them and I just any addition, I mean,
Speaker 3: just like look what Alan's done. I mean, granted he's
Speaker 3: with them more than their dad, but Alan has brought
Speaker 3: so much, like he's the way that he is helping
Speaker 3: raise Jase to be such a manner's kid. I mean,
Speaker 3: you know, he's teaching him to hold the doors open.
Speaker 3: I mean there's there's aspects that you know that so
Speaker 3: many beautiful things that Alan has helped helping ingrain in
Speaker 3: the kids. And you know they'll and I look forward to,
Speaker 3: you know, having again the woman presence over there, you know,
Speaker 3: if they continued on and as long as the kids
Speaker 3: are happy, that's literally it. I can get along with anyone.
Speaker 3: And I want that relationship to be great, you know.
Speaker 3: Uh so I do look forward to to, you know,
Speaker 3: to having more conversations and stuff like that for the
Speaker 3: sake of everybody.
Speaker 1: So, were you like struggling with it, nervous about it
Speaker 1: just before meeting her or after?
Speaker 3: It was definitely before, just because again and thats like,
Speaker 3: why am I upset? You know, I'm like, I'm married
Speaker 3: with a child, Like I shouldn't be upset about this.
Speaker 3: I think it's just it's still it's my kids, you know,
Speaker 3: And it's yeah, and what if I don't like her
Speaker 3: and what if you know, just all the things it's
Speaker 3: like to have another woman around. And again, I feel
Speaker 3: it sounds so hypocritical of me to say that because
Speaker 3: I'm married with.
Speaker 1: Another but you hadn't gone through it yet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it is to have another woman around your
Speaker 3: kids is is a very hard pill to swallow, Like
Speaker 3: she will have memories with my kids at the beach
Speaker 3: that I don't to have and that I was stolen
Speaker 3: and that it's that's that's there's a sting of that.
Speaker 2: Again.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be on that want the beach
Speaker 3: shrip with him, of course, but it's memories that like
Speaker 3: I I have no like I'm not getting and then
Speaker 3: she's going to get some. But again I have to
Speaker 3: Then I keep going back to my kids and what
Speaker 3: is best for the kids. What's best for the kids
Speaker 3: is to have a female presence at Mike's house that
Speaker 3: will keep a clean house, that will feed them helpful
Speaker 3: like nice, good foods, you know, So I welcome that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it don't be too hard on yourself, like attaching
Speaker 2: a judgment to a feeling either, because it's I think
Speaker 2: it's all very fair and normal.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And so did you felt better after you
Speaker 1: met with her? Did you seem very like good? Right now?
Speaker 1: So as I'm trying to figure out where the shifts.
Speaker 2: I have, there's I have.
Speaker 3: Working throughout Again, I am doing my part to make
Speaker 3: it be a good relationship. And it's sweet. Mike sees
Speaker 3: it too. He text me is like, thank you for
Speaker 3: the effort you're putting in, and I just I hope
Speaker 3: that is reciprocated. So yeah, well good, yeah, So again,
Speaker 3: well you know we'll see about that. And but yeah,
Speaker 3: that so that that that band aid's been pulled off
Speaker 3: because it's been it's been a couple of years now
Speaker 3: that I mean, I've I've kind of met a girlfriend
Speaker 3: through FaceTime, but nothing like this. So but it's just
Speaker 3: it's hard, you know. And and but now I'm I'm
Speaker 3: good because I I just want what's best for the kids. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I have to think of what the positives are
Speaker 3: with that.
Speaker 1: Sure, well good, I'm proud of you.
Speaker 3: I'd love any advice though from anybody out there. Ladies,
Speaker 3: let's whine about it. Who's got one.
Speaker 1: Kind of thought? Your pins were going to be the
Speaker 1: wine about it?
Speaker 2: No, I have no wine with meeting girlfriends and bruised arms. No,
Speaker 2: it's all less it's all lesson and growth. So that
Speaker 2: I actually have one. Oh, there we go, and she goes,
Speaker 2: I am going to go thirty thousand feet as not
Speaker 2: to throw anyone under the bus. Oh don't we love those?
Speaker 2: But people that don't sustain a real relationship but love
Speaker 2: to hijack social media.
Speaker 3: People that don't sustain a real relationship but love to
Speaker 3: hijack social media. So are we talking about a.
Speaker 2: I won't get specific. I realize that, but are we
Speaker 2: talking about a like a married couple that actually isn't
Speaker 2: in love but yet? So what are we talking about
Speaker 2: like a friend of yours? Come down to fifteen thousand? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I fifteen Friday thousand. I don't understand.
Speaker 1: Well, you can make up all these things in our brain.
Speaker 2: I am not filling in so many things. Okay, So
Speaker 2: I think what's tricky is like we'll say friends, Okay,
Speaker 2: we had in a two week number one?
Speaker 3: Yes, huge, gosh amazing. I don't know in two weeks congrats.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I just sorry, I've kind of been heading
Speaker 2: so secret.
Speaker 1: This is about you just kidding.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, we have all Like that's the thing, Like
Speaker 2: I just don't take offense to anything because like life
Speaker 2: is so crazy and wild for all of us that
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's great. In our family. We haven't even
Speaker 2: celebrated that. I don't get to see my husband. So
Speaker 2: maybe that's why I didn't know. It was because I
Speaker 2: didn't see it on your socials. And for me, it's
Speaker 2: like I go off of yeah I didn't. I don't
Speaker 2: read media base anymore. My days of reading media base
Speaker 2: are long gone. Yeah, so we Okay, So I did
Speaker 2: post a social I means it's not about anyone in
Speaker 2: this room. It's not about okay, so this is okay,
Speaker 2: So it's a friend right, so I post we are
Speaker 2: you guys would also agree. You ladies will agree with
Speaker 2: me that people do come out of the woodwork during
Speaker 2: these celebratory times, and rightfully so right like, people are
Speaker 2: like this is incredible and I'm so happy for you,
Speaker 2: Like it's so great to see people say, yeah.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: There's people I don't do well with personality types that
Speaker 2: try to hijack things and make it about them. I'm
Speaker 2: not even making the number one about me, and I'm
Speaker 2: actually on the label this time. I'm just really proud
Speaker 2: of my husband. Yeah, but I have really witnessed it.
Speaker 2: There's a few different ones and not even just my people,
Speaker 2: but I've witnessed how they've tried to tie themselves in
Speaker 2: on social media.
Speaker 1: And you're like, we're not friends and not even texting
Speaker 1: to say right, they're just ben on social media, wild
Speaker 1: and very like big.
Speaker 2: And grandstandy on social media, and I'm like, where is
Speaker 2: this coming from?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Really not my favorite thing. And I and I also
Speaker 2: try really hard to go like, what is it about
Speaker 2: that that makes me like what's triggering? You know? Well,
Speaker 2: don't you think it's the person's wanting attention? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I would say it's like when someone dies and they're
Speaker 3: like they were my best friend and I'm like, you
Speaker 3: didn't even talk to them in school, you know, right,
Speaker 3: they want that piece of attention. Yeah, Or the people
Speaker 3: that like announce the death before the family members even do.
Speaker 3: It's like that kind of huh yeah, Like it's not
Speaker 3: it's I don't know. I just I will say though,
Speaker 3: I grew up with a dad who made a lot
Speaker 3: about him all the time, and so I think that
Speaker 3: is part of my like allergy to it.
Speaker 2: Like give me an EpiPen. This is like disgusting to me,
Speaker 2: and I so I have to go like is that me?
Speaker 2: Or is that this situation? And I just don't love it?
Speaker 2: So that's my whine about it. I just get really annoyed.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you haven't even texted me to say the
Speaker 2: things that you're now just making such a public declaration
Speaker 2: and trying to tie in and like there was this
Speaker 2: pretending to know everything about our daily life and I'm like, hello, like.
Speaker 1: Like you just want to post like something in return,
Speaker 1: so everybody knows, like.
Speaker 2: Right that you're associated with this, Okay, we got it.
Speaker 2: I think people want to be associated with fame of
Speaker 2: things or uh yeah, acknowledge.
Speaker 1: That with them, right, you know.
Speaker 2: And it's honestly, I mean, it's been like five years
Speaker 2: since we've had one, so I'm like, where has everybody
Speaker 2: been out?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, let's say I get that. I wouldn't like
Speaker 1: that either. Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's really quite frustrating and it just feels disingenuous. And
Speaker 2: I'm so that is just so like hurts my whole
Speaker 2: being that I'm like, and then I'm the one who
Speaker 2: would normally say something, yeah, did you I didn't. I'm
Speaker 2: working on being slow to speak, work on that too.
Speaker 2: Sacred pauses as I've heard, Oh I just gowing, do
Speaker 2: we need to pause? Just asking for a friend?
Speaker 1: I will say, A lot does sort itself out.
Speaker 2: A lot does sort it A lot does yeah, and
Speaker 2: also light Cramer. A lot of times I write what
Speaker 2: I'd want to write, but there is something like, Okay,
Speaker 2: if I did post that, what good does.
Speaker 1: That do well in that situation?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: But does it y'all have really friends anyway? And it's
Speaker 1: not going to do any good that makes sense, So
Speaker 1: I'll make my wine about it. Do y'all watch that
Speaker 1: video that I sent. Y'all, you were probably already podcasting earlier.
Speaker 2: Oh, I haven't looked at my text. You're fine. I
Speaker 2: came across this video apparently this is Yeah, guys, I'm
Speaker 2: really not offended.
Speaker 1: I want you to so you know, we've been dealing
Speaker 1: with like middle school drama, like friend drama or whatever.
Speaker 1: But side note, this video popped up on my thing
Speaker 1: today and I'll just explain it. It basically is this
Speaker 1: teacher in this high school classroom and she is losing
Speaker 1: her mind at her students, like literally hitting her hand
Speaker 1: against the thing because these students have bullied another kid, okay,
Speaker 1: and she is literally yelling at them. She was like,
Speaker 1: you know, in their face, like this is what is
Speaker 1: wrong with Like if you do not treat people like this,
Speaker 1: if you do not apologize, get the fuck out of
Speaker 1: my classroom. I mean, losing her mind. The teacher yes,
Speaker 1: because croom, because because they bullied this boy. And it's
Speaker 1: this big boy too. He has his head down, he's
Speaker 1: crying and she is literally no he was already I'm
Speaker 1: assuming he was already just because they were I don't
Speaker 1: know exactly what they did. She literally says, she goes,
Speaker 1: there are people out there killing themselves because the thing
Speaker 1: that you just did to him or whatever. At the end,
Speaker 1: I didn't even realize this because I saw it two
Speaker 1: different places. But at the very end, you realize that
Speaker 1: he had had a maga hat on and they were
Speaker 1: bullying him for political reasons. I didn't even know that though,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that until. My whole point for this
Speaker 1: is too, my whole point, My whole point. My whole
Speaker 1: point is a lot of things. First of all, bullying
Speaker 1: is very much on my mind. I'm not saying my
Speaker 1: daughter's being bullied, but it's very much on my mind
Speaker 1: now age yeah, and which yeah, and it's you know,
Speaker 1: and I got a lot of responses from people I
Speaker 1: know who are like, I've gotten my kids out of
Speaker 1: the high school year kids are at because of bullying
Speaker 1: and nobody taking care of it, and so it just
Speaker 1: but my thing is is it's a controversial video. And
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask y'all because it's like she was
Speaker 1: not sugarcoating it.
Speaker 2: Can I ask what grade?
Speaker 1: I mean? They looked like they were probably tenth eleventh.
Speaker 2: Grade, then old because I'm sorry for me. I'm just
Speaker 2: if this was like an elementary class, okay, oh well yeah,
Speaker 2: like dropping even though I'm sure their parents have dropped
Speaker 2: an F bomb or time or two. Maybe maybe not,
Speaker 2: but in eleventh grade, absolutely, I would say, as long
Speaker 2: as any physical stuff, it's absolutely not. But like if
Speaker 2: she is saying get the fuck absolutely, if you're bullying,
Speaker 2: someone's like, I can so on hundred percent, and you're
Speaker 2: in that grade, because I think that's the only way
Speaker 2: those kids may be able to hear it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. If not, yeah, because one girl, actually you can
Speaker 1: hear from the back says, well, he shouldn't have worn
Speaker 1: the hat. And she goes get out of my classroom
Speaker 1: because she had just said, y'all all apologize. I guess
Speaker 1: the whole class did something to this kid, y'all all
Speaker 1: apologize right now, or get the f out of my classroom.
Speaker 1: And then this kid from the back was like, well
Speaker 1: you shouldn't have worn the hat, and he was like,
Speaker 1: she was like, get out of my classroom right now.
Speaker 1: But I mean she is like hitting this, she's ash.
Speaker 1: I mean, she is passionate. You know. It's just been
Speaker 1: very interesting to see a lot of controversy around it,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people who were like, absolutely, that's
Speaker 1: what we need. We need people standing up. It does
Speaker 1: not matter what hat he was wearing, does not matter.
Speaker 1: If it was political, it doesn't matter. If it was racial,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter whatever it was. It was bullying.
Speaker 2: And that's the thing.
Speaker 3: If it involves bullying, I think a reaction like that
Speaker 3: at that age with those kids is fine. Obviously no
Speaker 3: physicality attached to it. Yeah, if there is. If it
Speaker 3: wasn't a bullying situation and someone just did you know,
Speaker 3: then then I'd be like, no, that's a little.
Speaker 1: Too right, right for sure. But and I sent it
Speaker 1: to some of my friends.
Speaker 2: And I was, what is Yeah, what is everyone saying?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, you know, everyone I've been getting so
Speaker 1: far has just been like yes, absolutely, like we need
Speaker 1: more of this, you know. But it just really had
Speaker 1: me thinking because I had a very a smaller scale
Speaker 1: situation where I'll just tell the story. There was a
Speaker 1: friend in Emmy's friend group, not one of her great friends,
Speaker 1: but a guy friend in her friend group who I
Speaker 1: had seen on social media, actually through Emmy's phone that
Speaker 1: he had said to another person but on social media,
Speaker 1: basically telling them he needed to go kill himself. He's
Speaker 1: you know, called him gay, called him all these just
Speaker 1: a lot of things, right, And I was like, this
Speaker 1: behavior is absolutely unacceptable. Now it wasn't towards emmy, it
Speaker 1: wasn't you know, whatever. But I told her how I
Speaker 1: felt about it and how I didn't want her spending
Speaker 1: time with him, but to see the parents that I know,
Speaker 1: well that kid told him to go kill himself. The
Speaker 1: way people defend the behavior has my mind blown.
Speaker 2: Okay, right, like the hat, like like yeah, like them saying, well,
Speaker 2: he wore the hat.
Speaker 1: He wore the hat, So at what point do we
Speaker 1: just go, Okay, we're gonna let him get away with
Speaker 1: it because that kid told him to do it. First.
Speaker 1: Now that kid needs consequences, but so does that kid.
Speaker 1: They all have to be reinforced and as adults as
Speaker 1: a whole. I'm saying, people are making excuses for them.
Speaker 1: I mean, good friends of mine are making excuses for
Speaker 1: this kid. And I'm like, I'm my mind is blown,
Speaker 1: Like in what world is that ever? Okay?
Speaker 2: Well I even mentioned and this is not we don't
Speaker 2: want to go backwards, but like part of my reaction
Speaker 2: to the story that Janna shared earlier about the kid
Speaker 2: hitting the other kid, I said, what happens is these
Speaker 2: are just all muscles in their learning. So at a
Speaker 2: little age, if no one's correcting that and we're tiptoeing
Speaker 2: and maybe that's how this person is, yes, then they
Speaker 2: are just reinforcing and building muscle or behavior that's not
Speaker 2: acceptable and not safe more than anything, and then they
Speaker 2: never learn. And if parents aren't going to do that,
Speaker 2: like I do, think that's why they say it takes
Speaker 2: a village to raise a child, and not that we
Speaker 2: need to be parenting everyone's but like, at some point
Speaker 2: this is not except the behavior.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're raising a society of you know, and like
Speaker 1: in my what this mom friend group, it's you know
Speaker 1: that I sent it to. One person was like, kids
Speaker 1: can be assholes, but bullying is another thing. And I said, yeah,
Speaker 1: but assholes unchecked become bullies. That's right, And that's my problem.
Speaker 2: And so I have gotten flack for this before for
Speaker 2: saying that I'm not a super super into like gentle parenting,
Speaker 2: because I feel like we create a society of kids
Speaker 2: that are able to talk their way out of things
Speaker 2: and their own behaviors. And I'm not saying spank your child.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, like consequences. This isn't like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: let's have a tea party, because I want to talk
Speaker 2: about like at some point that's just unacceptable. Yeah, And
Speaker 2: we have a responsibility to raise people for society and
Speaker 2: honestly people.
Speaker 1: I want that for that kid.
Speaker 2: Same.
Speaker 1: I want that mom to say you cannot do this
Speaker 1: and there is a consequence for it. And I don't
Speaker 1: think that kid wants to be that kid.
Speaker 2: I have a really I defend kids in like the
Speaker 2: opposite inside outweigh where I'm like, there's something else going
Speaker 2: on there, like what is here to talk about? Yeah,
Speaker 2: because a kid that wants to say that, there's something
Speaker 2: deeper there.
Speaker 1: Anyways, Well, and I tried talking to the other kid
Speaker 1: that was accused, who it was said to, who was
Speaker 1: accused of saying it. First, I actually sat down with
Speaker 1: him in my home and I had a conversation with
Speaker 1: him and I talked to him. He said he couldn't
Speaker 1: talk to his parents. He couldn't, you know. And I
Speaker 1: tried to give him advice. Well, he's hurting, and he
Speaker 1: took that a lot. He said things that I said
Speaker 1: and twisted and all that and said, I need we
Speaker 1: need to distance ourselves from this situation because I was
Speaker 1: trying to help and he kind of twisted it because
Speaker 1: there's just you know, drama. But again, it just it
Speaker 1: makes me sad for all of them because it's not
Speaker 1: that I'm saying that this kid is a bad kid.
Speaker 1: It just the behavior has to be checked or it's
Speaker 1: going to get worse. And then what's going to happen
Speaker 1: to this kid when he does it to Because I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what, had he posted that towards my child,
Speaker 1: there wouldn't have been forgiveness, let me be very clear,
Speaker 1: and that that I you know, and he doesn't speak
Speaker 1: to my child anymore, like at all. He doesn't speak
Speaker 1: to her. She's afraid that he you know, she's afraid
Speaker 1: to leave the group. She's afraid him and others will
Speaker 1: bully her. But I dare him to post something like
Speaker 1: that to my own kid, because there's no way I
Speaker 1: would not be aware that that was happening, and then
Speaker 1: I would not take do something to take care of it.
Speaker 1: And that's he Eventually he's going to do it to
Speaker 1: the wrong person and he is going to have constant quinces,
Speaker 1: and it's going to be much bigger than it would
Speaker 1: be if somebody would just handle it. Now, I just.
Speaker 3: Don't understand how we got here. I mean, think the
Speaker 3: same thing. Just think back. I really truly didn't know
Speaker 3: what suicide was until I couldn't even tell you. But like,
Speaker 3: and I couldn't imagine telling another human to kill themselves.
Speaker 3: And these middle schoolers are telling other kids to do that.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I just like, I don't think they realize
Speaker 3: the words and the weight that they're actually I don't
Speaker 3: think they understand it. And the problem is is now
Speaker 3: these kids are actually doing it, and like, can you
Speaker 3: imagine having that ripple effect on your life that you
Speaker 3: were the one to say that to someone, Because again,
Speaker 3: like you said, I don't think they mean to say this,
Speaker 3: and I don't know if they know the weight that
Speaker 3: goes on too.
Speaker 1: That exactly that is what I talked to that boy about.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you don't understand what you're saying, what that
Speaker 1: does to people, And it's it's I don't I mean,
Speaker 1: I think social media is a lot of it, but
Speaker 1: I don't even know how we got to this point.
Speaker 3: It was so interesting, This is like not, this is
Speaker 3: on the smallest smallest, smallest, smallest tenius of scales. But
Speaker 3: I something we had. I had a a night just
Speaker 3: with Jolie, and Mike wanted to do a night just
Speaker 3: with Jace, so we like to just kind of trade
Speaker 3: off sometimes and like have our own private time or whatever.
Speaker 3: And in the morning, yes, it was a lot quieter
Speaker 3: because Jace's you know, he's loud or whatever. And when
Speaker 3: we were all together back this morning, Jolie is like, Jace,
Speaker 3: it was so much quieter when you weren't here, and
Speaker 3: I go, hey, babe, Like I was like stop. I
Speaker 3: pulled her aside and she's like what it wasn't me
Speaker 3: And I go, but what you're telling him, He's now
Speaker 3: going to believe that he's loud.
Speaker 2: And Jace isn't loud. It's just a fun, loving boy.
Speaker 2: But I think these kids start telling these kids, and
Speaker 2: then they start believing what these other kids are and like,
Speaker 2: that's okay, that's not you're not the like.
Speaker 1: But it's so true. It starts off so small, yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's so innocent. It truly is. But again, that's
Speaker 1: why I say unchecked behavior.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean an assholes, unchecked become bullies, like what,
Speaker 2: yeah a quote from Kat Yeah, and that's that's so true.
Speaker 1: It's just so y'all need to go watch that video.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna post it again when this podcast airs, because
Speaker 1: it is like I'm getting so many responsible I mean,
Speaker 1: I think she's been I mean, it's it's wonder fire.
Speaker 2: I know it's just for the language.
Speaker 1: You so not.
Speaker 3: I know, the all female Blue Origin flight is getting
Speaker 3: a lot of heat and reaction. Slubs are speaking out
Speaker 3: questioning what the point of the flight to space was
Speaker 3: and how is this billion dollar spend justified? So Olivia
Speaker 3: Wilde slams it. You know who else? I mean, there
Speaker 3: was there was a few people that I saw. Amy
Speaker 3: Schumer had said a comment about it, Olivia Munn had
Speaker 3: made a comment about how you know, and I don't
Speaker 3: know one of one of those three people were basically
Speaker 3: or also Emily Redaitowski she also said it. One of
Speaker 3: those girls had mentioned too, like you know, people can't
Speaker 3: even buy eggs yet were doing this. I don't I
Speaker 3: gotta say, I don't have a real thought to it.
Speaker 3: I just know there's no way in hell I hate flying,
Speaker 3: so there's no way my ass has ever gone to
Speaker 3: space like ever, like, I don't want to see it.
Speaker 3: I don't want to sky. I don't want to jump
Speaker 3: out of a plane.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't want to see the world from up there.
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't want to have that feeling. I know we're
Speaker 3: I know we're on a very we're small in such
Speaker 3: a big world. I do that piece I felt when
Speaker 3: I went to Ireland and stood by the cliffs of Moware,
Speaker 3: you know, like I've had those moments and for me,
Speaker 3: like you're not gonna I would never, But I don't
Speaker 3: really have much of a thought. So I'm curious what
Speaker 3: you girls think about it.
Speaker 2: Kabi, I don't when you go to space, Okay, no,
Speaker 2: not going to space.
Speaker 1: My husband would love to go to space. So this
Speaker 1: is actually.
Speaker 2: I saw this headline and I was like, how do
Speaker 2: I So I'm just going to be honest because there's
Speaker 2: no way for me to frame it that would probably
Speaker 2: be pleasing to everyone. So Preston was all in watching
Speaker 2: this footage, all in. I mean, this is his dream.
Speaker 3: I mean I watched it too because I thought it
Speaker 3: was kind of cool to see the rockets go up.
Speaker 3: I made him shut it off October Skygirl.
Speaker 2: I made him shut it off really yep, talk to me,
Speaker 2: because I said, these are not women that went to
Speaker 2: school for this. These are not people that have degrees
Speaker 2: and have spent their whole lives careers and financial stability
Speaker 2: learning about space. They are just women that are privileged
Speaker 2: enough to go up, tap space and come down. I
Speaker 2: think that's lovely for them that they get to live
Speaker 2: their dream, if that is their dream. I know Gail
Speaker 2: is very passionate about space. It seems this is her dream.
Speaker 2: Oprah was even quoted to say she didn't want to
Speaker 2: hear about Gail not going, and so that's why Gail went.
Speaker 2: Sounds like a quote that we would say that one
Speaker 2: about Yeah, Like I just don't even want to hear
Speaker 2: about it to just go. Yeah. I just struggle with
Speaker 2: how much publicity it gets because there's actual astronauts, women
Speaker 2: astronauts like I struggle, and so I'm trying to be
Speaker 2: not as like feisty about it, but for it just
Speaker 2: rubbed me the wrong way, like I was like, got it?
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I'm trying to like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Why I got passionate.
Speaker 2: Very rarely do I get passionate about like a current
Speaker 2: event made him turn it off. I'd made him turn
Speaker 2: I said, I don't want to listen to that anymore.
Speaker 2: Like this is ridiculous. Rich people just went to space
Speaker 2: and tapped them, do you know? Like they were there
Speaker 2: for ten seconds, they floated and they came back down.
Speaker 2: An experience of a lifetime. I'm certain for people that
Speaker 2: that matters to of course, But like all the publicity,
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: Even know what was happening. If it tells you anything.
Speaker 2: Do follow the Wendy's account, Wendy's Twitter account. It's really fun.
Speaker 2: Katie Barry went to space and then Wendy said, can
Speaker 2: they keep her?
Speaker 1: There's been a lot around Katie because.
Speaker 2: I'm curious because I know you go more political on things, so.
Speaker 1: I don't have a strong I agree with everything you said,
Speaker 1: though I'm like, wait, why are we doing this? I
Speaker 1: immediately start to think about and I don't know her name.
Speaker 1: I apologize. I don't really pay attention to a lot
Speaker 1: of space stuff. Space is not interesting to me. I
Speaker 1: don't know what I believe. I just I don't really
Speaker 1: touch a lot of space stuff. I'll be honest. You could, though,
Speaker 1: for the right amount of money, that does bother me.
Speaker 1: What is the woman's name who was just stuck in
Speaker 1: space for ten months?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that was a whole thing.
Speaker 1: My mind just goes to her. Yeah, I'm sure this
Speaker 1: woman is like, is this a joke? I just got
Speaker 1: stuck in space for ten months? And like, but this
Speaker 1: is the publicity off of this, and like, I don't know. Again,
Speaker 1: I don't have a strong opinion.
Speaker 2: I did see the creams Sunita, Sunny Williams.
Speaker 1: Thank you, yes, yes, yes, So my mind kind of
Speaker 1: went to her, like she's probably like, oh man, so
Speaker 1: easy for them to go up and touch it. And
Speaker 1: I get stuck there for ten months. And I'm an astronaut,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: When I just started a Devil's advocate a little bit, please,
Speaker 3: I think, And again I am. I don't know much
Speaker 3: about space. Nasah what Elon Musk. I think he's involved
Speaker 3: in some of this. I'm not really sure, but I
Speaker 3: always okay, I obey, okay, Besis one of the rich dudes.
Speaker 1: It all comes to the body.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do believe there's a piece of it that
Speaker 3: might be bringing some kind of awareness because I think
Speaker 3: there should be a presence in space. I want to
Speaker 3: think that that's there's a reason that we should have
Speaker 3: some seeing what's out there and resources.
Speaker 2: And I don't know, like.
Speaker 3: I think two have like, yes, it seems a little
Speaker 3: wild and out there, and like why and yes to
Speaker 3: your point, this poor sunny woman, So I hear all that,
Speaker 3: But I'm also like, is the is the development of
Speaker 3: doing something like this? Yes, doing the rides up to
Speaker 3: space seems a little bit out there, but maybe there's
Speaker 3: a piece in there that they'll use it for good
Speaker 3: reason and for good purposes, for the use of maybe
Speaker 3: finding other resources out there.
Speaker 1: So it sounds like I will agree with you. It
Speaker 1: sounds like whatever the company was or whatever they're trying
Speaker 1: to raise, correct me, I'm wrong, awareness for making Earth
Speaker 1: a better place and taking our waste to space. Did
Speaker 1: y'all read this? There's something about that, But I just.
Speaker 3: That's maybe the positive spin on it, right, which is
Speaker 3: why they're needing this money of these rich people to
Speaker 3: go up there to maybe go do something.
Speaker 1: So I do think that that is some of the intent.
Speaker 1: For sure. I think it became, for whatever reason, a
Speaker 1: huge publicity, not stunt, but a huge pr thing that
Speaker 1: just didn't sit well with a lot of people, and
Speaker 1: I think that that's fair. I think both things can
Speaker 1: be fair. Do I think that we need to be
Speaker 1: spending all the money to do like a quick No,
Speaker 1: but di Bezos pay for all of it. I don't
Speaker 1: even know, like who paid for it, I don't I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 3: I want to believe there was a good reason for
Speaker 3: what they're doing and why they're doing things, like, for example,
Speaker 3: people hate on zoos. This is a terrible example, but.
Speaker 2: I get.
Speaker 3: But there's a lot of conservation things. There's a lot
Speaker 3: of rescue people that the certain animals that would have
Speaker 3: been far gone extinct at this moment, but they're you know,
Speaker 3: creating in breeding and all those things to then put
Speaker 3: back out into the wild. So I do think for
Speaker 3: those types of reasons, I always kind of go, Okay,
Speaker 3: what is the full circle? I'll support this, Yeah, And
Speaker 3: then because there is a full circle, they're not just
Speaker 3: ringling brothers, you know, some elephants. So I just wish
Speaker 3: maybe I was trying to have this moment like although
Speaker 3: I missed the elephants and I went to the Ring
Speaker 3: of the Brothers, I'm just saying, no.
Speaker 2: Way, that's just got I do. And I'm trying to
Speaker 2: be like, I don't know why it fired me up.
Speaker 2: I think I just was like, this doesn't like you know,
Speaker 2: like present was like these women went to space and
Speaker 2: I so we quickly went on like a tur day
Speaker 2: female astronaut at our house, and I was like, these
Speaker 2: are women that have spent like you know, I think
Speaker 2: maybe if they had integrated some of those female astronauts
Speaker 2: and like you know, maybe and maybe they did on
Speaker 2: the backs. I don't know. I honestly didn't watch enough
Speaker 2: of it to you can probably speak about it. But
Speaker 2: I just thought, man, this is it's not showing. It's
Speaker 2: you know, like somebody was like, oh, if we went
Speaker 2: to space and we dream you can go to space,
Speaker 2: you can go to space, and I'm like, well, you
Speaker 2: sure can, but let's use you. We're saying.
Speaker 3: And one of the questions was for the amount of
Speaker 3: money it costs in the time, like you know, basically,
Speaker 3: how much would you go to space?
Speaker 2: How much would you pay? I wouldn't pay. I would pay.
Speaker 3: Your would never like if some almost like here's a
Speaker 3: free trip to space. My anxiety, Oh my god, I
Speaker 3: can't handle.
Speaker 1: After they just got stuck in space.
Speaker 2: Guys, I can't even stand on a chair without getting
Speaker 2: sweaty hands. There's no way I'm going to space.
Speaker 1: I don't I feel white.
Speaker 3: Lotus lou Would Amy lou Would says recent crying photos
Speaker 3: were unrelated to esen all controversy.
Speaker 2: Did you guys see the skit?
Speaker 3: I didn't, Oh, I watched it on me, but I
Speaker 3: will say, you know, they were making fun of it
Speaker 3: was a very political sketch.
Speaker 2: It was hilarious.
Speaker 3: I thought it was so funny, and I agree with
Speaker 3: her up until they made fun of her appearance. The
Speaker 3: one of the actors as it had a fake set
Speaker 3: of teeth and it was obviously showing she's got a
Speaker 3: bit of an overbite and fake teeth. And so what
Speaker 3: she said was I did find the SNL thing mean
Speaker 3: and unfunny. You know, She's like, there must be a clever,
Speaker 3: more nuanced, less cheap way, and I agree with that.
Speaker 3: With that beat, it's like there could have been a
Speaker 3: way that you could They could have done that with
Speaker 3: so much more class, Like okay, yeah, poke fund at
Speaker 3: a girl's appearance.
Speaker 1: Real clever guys, Yeah, no, back to bullying. This is RCT,
Speaker 1: that's what this is. Yeah, we are making it too like, yes,
Speaker 1: people are sensitive now it's like both like we are
Speaker 1: very sensitive to things, but also so not sensitive and
Speaker 1: just attacking people's looks is bullying. That's not nice.
Speaker 3: Like it's like, you know, I go back to a
Speaker 3: Kardashian episode, but she's like when she got called essentially
Speaker 3: a whoror on the Tom Bradie Race roast, She's like, guys,
Speaker 3: be more creative, Like why are I now just saying like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I think they're just people are just becoming cheap with
Speaker 3: their yeah low shot, Yeah sure, or like that's not funny,
Speaker 3: None of that's funny. Hi, I would love if you
Speaker 3: could talk about how you got your pink back after babies?
Speaker 2: Guys, what's your bink? Oh?
Speaker 1: That's something.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, let's keep reading it. Unfortunately it took me getting
Speaker 2: divorced to do so, and I now have some friends
Speaker 2: going through right now. They have tiny babies and are
Speaker 2: feeling the mental pressure that comes with it. I want
Speaker 2: them to know they aren't alone, but my example isn't
Speaker 2: very helpful. When did you start feeling like yourself again?
Speaker 2: Did you mourn the old jew? How did you get
Speaker 2: your pink back? That's cute, and I'm really cute. I
Speaker 2: feel like that should be. I was thinking like on
Speaker 2: my like boobs or something like. I went. I was like,
Speaker 2: why don't know that it turned anything on bank? But
Speaker 2: I didn't chicken.
Speaker 1: So what's the question? I think it's O.
Speaker 2: My dearest reader, great question.
Speaker 3: But did you mourn the old? So when did you
Speaker 3: start feeling it yourself again? Did you more in the
Speaker 3: old old you? How did you get your pink back?
Speaker 3: I would say it took me about a year. It
Speaker 3: took me about a year to get my hormones. I
Speaker 3: feel leveled ish out. I ah, I gos, that's really
Speaker 3: hard because I don't think I'll ever get back what
Speaker 3: I was then.
Speaker 2: Like I'm on year nine.
Speaker 1: I'll let you know when it comes out.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So I'm just kind of embracing the changing of me now.
Speaker 3: So it's like I even look at, you know, my
Speaker 3: non botox face, that's been a year. Uh you know,
Speaker 3: I've looked in the mirror. I'm like, goh, these wrinkles
Speaker 3: and my my smile lines, and I really definitely notice it.
Speaker 3: But I'm really just trying to embrace this. I am
Speaker 3: forty one, and I want to age gracefully, and I
Speaker 3: know my hormones are changing and I am a young
Speaker 3: mom or I'm an older mom. I mean, and I
Speaker 3: have got young kids, and I'm doing the best that
Speaker 3: I can with doing my blood work and taking the
Speaker 3: supplements and taking care of myself and using the sauna
Speaker 3: and going for runs and walks and all those things.
Speaker 3: And I'm just embracing because I don't want the old
Speaker 3: me back. I didn't like old me. I like new
Speaker 3: me because I'm evolving. So I think if you change
Speaker 3: the mindset to that, it's like I will never get
Speaker 3: her back. I don't know if I'll ever get her
Speaker 3: energy back, but I can try with new things and
Speaker 3: like the saunas and runnings and working, you know, and
Speaker 3: having a positive attitude of mind blah blah. But like,
Speaker 3: I think it's reframing because I don't think I'm ever
Speaker 3: going to get the old face back. I'm not going
Speaker 3: to get the old body, and I don't want to
Speaker 3: chase something that I don't really want back anyways, because
Speaker 3: I like, I'm embracing the newness even though I pick
Speaker 3: it sometimes apart, but I'm trying not to.
Speaker 2: Does that make sense you guys? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Okay.
Speaker 2: I also think it's good to maybe know what you
Speaker 2: need as a new mom. Like I think sometimes just
Speaker 2: getting dressed is so good for us that we forget.
Speaker 2: I know I didn't want to do that, but it
Speaker 2: so like there's that overview, which is the best version
Speaker 2: of you is now. It's incredible and deeper and richer
Speaker 2: than anything you could ever imagine. And it's okay if
Speaker 2: you miss hot food, So maybe whatever you need. Like
Speaker 2: I know, there was even a time in this postpartum
Speaker 2: where I thought, I just want dinner. I want hot
Speaker 2: dinner and a server and even just that. And then
Speaker 2: there was other days where I didn't want to go
Speaker 2: out past six. I wanted to hold them and be
Speaker 2: with them, and like that's okay too. And so it's
Speaker 2: just like kind of going like really asking yourself, maybe
Speaker 2: what you need, because sometimes I need to feel like
Speaker 2: a girlfriend, So getting dressed and going to dinner and
Speaker 2: having just a minute to not have to share your
Speaker 2: food or you know, there's just so much any little
Speaker 2: daily things too that I think we don't check in
Speaker 2: with on ourselves.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I don't even think it has to be
Speaker 3: about a new mom. I think it's just as we
Speaker 3: everybody as we age, as we go through different phases
Speaker 3: of maybe PERI metabause or this, that and the other.
Speaker 2: It's just not chasing a version that we should embrace
Speaker 2: the version we are now.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well we're always evolving, yeah, or we should be yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, honestly, so, I don't even know if that
Speaker 1: applies to the getting your pink back, you know whatever, pink, But.
Speaker 3: Your pink didn't really leave you. It's just you know,
Speaker 3: changes a little. It just yeah, the colors change. Eat
Speaker 3: a carrot and you'll turn orange.
Speaker 1: And sorry, we're not helping's you never get it back,
Speaker 1: is what she's read. No, but she's heard throughout it's not.
Speaker 3: It's not that you don't get it back, but do
Speaker 3: you want, like, get the pieces that you want back.
Speaker 3: So the pieces that you want back maybe is your
Speaker 3: energy or it's some of your time. Prioritize, like you said,
Speaker 3: those pieces that you want, and then take the new
Speaker 3: and go forward with it, you know. So it's like,
Speaker 3: grab the things that you miss, bring it to your
Speaker 3: now pink self, you know, and then and then embrace
Speaker 3: what is you know, what is new, what is healed,
Speaker 3: what has evolved?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well and it does say, as I looked it
Speaker 1: up a little bit more finding your identity. So that
Speaker 1: is finding what that new identity is. I did struggle,
Speaker 1: and that can be hard for moms for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I think, like you said, the little things get
Speaker 1: yourself dressed at first, Yeah, get up and go out
Speaker 1: figure out this new you and what makes you happy
Speaker 1: and you know. So, I think that just the baby.
Speaker 2: Steps up unintended, but yeah, tiny, All right, ladies, See
Speaker 2: you next week. By