WEBVTT - Fill in the Blanks 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:11.600 Hi guys, Hi coming in hat, hat, Hat, coming in hat. 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:16.040 I wondered if you wanted to pull any pins. Kramer, Oh, 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:17.279 I just got like nauseous. 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:25.200 Did you? I don't know. Your husband, thanks told me 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:27.400 to rub a coin on it, a silver coin. 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:30.000 I go, could we use sorry silver drops and shit? 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:34.400 That feels more sanitary. So Catherine has a you know 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:37.360 what it looks like? Remember the girls in high school 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:40.880 or dudes that would or actually this happened when I 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:44.160 was pregnant, but when you puke pop. 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:47.360 The Yeah, I think that's what it is. No, but 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:50.760 I don't know, Like I read after Emmy's friends like 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:52.600 discovered it on my eye and he was like, stop 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:56.360 doing drugs, mom, you know, being dramatic, But I like, literally, yeah, 0:00:56.440 --> 0:00:58.040 I looked it up and it could be like a 0:00:58.240 --> 0:00:59.920 I did have, Like I had like a sneeze attack 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:02.320 the other day, and that can happen. I don't know. 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:04.360 Otherwise I got nothing. I had no idea. It wasn't 0:01:04.360 --> 0:01:05.679 even bothering me. But now it is a. 0:01:05.640 --> 0:01:08.160 Little bit Welcome to the forty Sorry, did you put 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:08.880 any little drops in? 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:11.160 I've done nothing, but I might go try the silver 0:01:11.240 --> 0:01:14.240 coin that your husband suggested. I mean, I would wash 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:15.840 it for that's what she said. I was like, I'm 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:17.320 not worried about it, being I could you just use 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:18.800 the drops, like the silver drops. 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:21.679 I think that's what Maybe we just americanized this strategy. 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:23.240 You can send it to me, but I bet his 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:27.160 works better, you know, stuff like that always works better. 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:29.600 I do think it will just distract you with whatever 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:32.240 it gives you next with the dirty money, but that's fine. 0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:35.000 I mean, okay, just send me the drops. We'll see 0:01:35.000 --> 0:01:35.240 how they. 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:37.639 Okay, go make sure you get a tetanus shot after earth. 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:40.199 I was like that was. 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:44.400 You're like right away? Was like, or something clean? How 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:44.759 are the. 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:46.760 Shots going a great? Yeah? 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:49.240 You feel good? Yeah, I mean I've had moments. I've 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:51.200 definitely had some nauseous moments. And every day is a 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:53.840 little bit different, more hungry some days not the other. 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:56.600 But I'm down like ten pounds, oh my gosh, and 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:59.400 like two and a half weeks, right, I mean, I'm 0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:01.600 sure a lot of it inflammation, you know, I'm sure 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:03.840 like water weight and inflammation and stuff that went away. 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:06.920 But yeah, so I'm sticking to this one. For now. 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:10.880 As long as it's working, I won't even up the dosage, right, like, 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.840 as long as I'm losing weight. So and you feel good, Yeah, 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:15.680 I feel great again. There have been some moments where 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:18.160 I'm like, oh, I kind of feel nauseous, but nothing terrible. 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:22.880 Is there anything that you're surprised? You feel like any 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:23.800 fun benefits. 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:29.880 It's just to actually feel so like full is actually 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:32.679 a very weird. It's been a very weird feeling. I 0:02:32.720 --> 0:02:35.880 don't know that I've just always maybe stopped myself in 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:39.600 time to feel that actual fullness. But like it's kind 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:42.160 of bizarre in a way, you know, like it's like 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.240 I have only eaten half of this now. It's definitely 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:47.400 more full than you know, probably a lot of people. 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:49.160 But I'm just like, how am I? Like this is 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:52.280 just not like me to actually feel ful right now? 0:02:52.440 --> 0:02:54.560 But no, it's I mean it's been good. Yeah, there 0:02:54.600 --> 0:02:55.040 is happy. 0:02:55.120 --> 0:02:57.440 You know, there is like an actual that's a thing 0:02:57.680 --> 0:03:00.600 in people's bodies to not get full. Yeah, people that 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:02.679 are missing I don't know if it's the chemical or 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:04.640 the nerve or whatever it is that allows them to 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:04.960 know that. 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:08.760 Yeah, it just really it just last thing was it 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:10.720 just really gets you to a point where it's like, no, 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.280 I'm good, I don't want to keep eating because this 0:03:13.360 --> 0:03:15.240 tastes good, you know, which there's times you're like, yeah, 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:16.600 i'm full, I don't want to keep eating, but it 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:18.680 tastes so good, I'm just going to keep eating that 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:21.480 somehow goes away. I'm like, yeah, I had a piece 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:23.200 of pizza last night and I was like that tastes 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:25.840 really good and it was great. I'm good, I got it. 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:26.359 I'm done. 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:29.000 Yeah, and I'm done, you know, and so great. 0:03:28.840 --> 0:03:29.760 Yeah, it's awesome. 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:33.280 Yeah. Anyway, So you guys. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:34.079 I'm just avoiding. 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:37.320 I know you are. So we've got to I just feel. 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:40.560 Like last week, I well I just took over. 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:43.800 Yeah, but see, I've been waiting a whole week for 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:45.840 you to take over again and tell me. Yeah, we 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:46.160 had a. 0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:47.120 Couple of pins. 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:51.920 We do okay, fine, all on pin both of them. 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:54.360 Maybe I bet we can talk her into it. 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:56.720 If it's a maybe. Usually Cat and I can get 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:57.280 you in a day. 0:03:57.640 --> 0:03:58.880 Yeah. 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:04.040 So one was there was an incident again at the 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:12.320 baseball and so and I had to leave because Jolie 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.560 had a game at the same time. So I and 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:19.160 there were different fields. So I stayed for a few 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:22.160 minutes of Jase's and then had to go and then 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:26.200 and then went to Jolie's, and there was an incident 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:29.640 with the same kid, and this time it was Mike 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:35.320 who yelled. And what happened was is Jace got hit 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:38.719 with the baseball bat inside the cage, which the boys 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.479 the boys. I'm I'm not gonna call just one out, 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:45.039 but like, boys shouldn't be swinging the clubs around or 0:04:45.080 --> 0:04:49.960 the bats around. And he ended up having a fair 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:53.719 little large bruise on his arm. And so because this 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:57.039 has happened a few times my and Mike, he's like, hey, 0:04:57.080 --> 0:04:59.760 I just said, need to tell you what happened, and 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:04.320 and uh, I go straight to the ready to fire 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:07.040 off a text message and just be like, this is 0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:09.719 unacceptable and he shouldn't he should be you know, he 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:12.400 got a bruise to his face a couple weeks ago, 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.839 that's because the ball hit him. That's fine for bruises 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:17.320 to happen out in the field, it shouldn't be happening 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:19.560 in the cage by his own teammates. And I obviously 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:22.279 drafted a text message send it to both of you guys. 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:26.080 You gave me your edits, and then I edited down 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:27.240 because I'm like, I'm not going to be on the 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.480 team anymore if you're like you know, because I just 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:30.359 go I'm not going to. 0:05:30.360 --> 0:05:33.480 Take our ball and go home, but we are. We're 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:35.760 going to get a little self control in the dugout. 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:38.320 So I ended up not sending it just at all. 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:43.080 I kind of wanted. I'm starting to I'm trying to 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:47.120 not be reactive, and what I've done for the last 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:50.640 few years is my unsent text messages. I have a 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:54.599 lot of unsent text messages in my phone, but they're 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:57.080 helpful for me to just write them out. Sure, so 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:59.839 I did this with that, and I just didn't know 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:01.320 if I wanted to say anything. It was also weird 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:04.719 because she's a friend, like we hang out off the field, 0:06:05.279 --> 0:06:07.479 so I knew if I sent something like this, it's 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:11.240 going to affect a friendship as well, and so. 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:16.840 I ended up not sending it. But she mentioned something 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:18.920 to me at the game. She goes, hey, so did 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.560 you hear what happened? And I was like, I did, 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:24.039 and if I'm honest, I'm really I was really disappointed 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:26.400 I didn't hear from you, because if that would have happened, 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:30.800 like other people reached out to me, and I was 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:33.000 surprised not to hear from you, and that's what I 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:35.200 was like, I gotta be honest. It did upset me, 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:38.840 and she was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:41.000 And so then we had like a good conversation with it, 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:42.760 and she kind of said, she's like, I didn't see it, 0:06:42.800 --> 0:06:44.800 and I didn't know the extent of it, and so 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.760 in that moment, it really made me realize that, you know, 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:51.400 and I thought maybe she was upset because of Mike's reaction, 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:53.359 because I mean, it was a loud scream, like Alan 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:56.000 was there watching it because he stayed and so that 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.359 I could go to Jolie's, and so, you know, I 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:01.599 thought maybe she was un upset about the reactions. And 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:04.360 I think it's important. I'm glad I didn't send it 0:07:04.400 --> 0:07:08.240 because I made up that she witnessed the whole thing. 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:11.640 And that's when it was a really good lesson for 0:07:11.800 --> 0:07:16.680 me because of my quick reaction to send something she 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:18.760 didn't know the extent of it, you know. So I 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:20.280 think I still could have sent it and she would 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:22.160 have said like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, But 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:24.880 I was holding on just making up a story that 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:27.360 actually wasn't true. And I think that was just such 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:30.280 a good lesson for me, not to realize that we 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:32.080 do that a lot, where we'll make up what we 0:07:32.200 --> 0:07:36.520 think happened and then and then make assumptions about other 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:39.440 people because they didn't reach out or because they didn't 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:42.000 do X, Y and Z, and then we get even 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:44.840 more upset when really that's not, like none of those 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:46.760 stories end up being true. 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:49.400 Oh, I'm the worst at that. I always make up 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:51.360 stories in my head. It's so hard. I mean, I 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:52.680 don't even know how to stop that a lot of 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.440 the time. But that's awesome that you did and that 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:58.040 you were able to then talk to her and find 0:07:58.040 --> 0:07:59.240 out what the truth is behind it. 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:01.560 And I'm glad I did say it bothered me because 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:03.880 I'm like that no matter what, that was the truth, 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:07.960 whether you know she did didn't text me or not, like, 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:11.040 it was still something that I'm glad I was, I said, 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:13.920 because I was holding onto it but then realizing everything 0:08:13.960 --> 0:08:17.320 I made up in my mind right was actually not true. 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.120 Right, And it's okay to be honest and say, yes, 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:22.320 this did upset me. Yeah, Like that's what we should 0:08:22.320 --> 0:08:24.760 do as adults. I think that that's you know, I'm 0:08:24.760 --> 0:08:26.160 glad it worked out that way. I had a feeling 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:28.960 you didn't send it, and I'm proud of you. I 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:31.200 wouldn't have been able to do it, so you sent 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.320 it probably. Yeah, you know me, I'm bad at that 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:35.720 stuff really. Oh yeah, I'm reactionary, but that kind of 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.120 kid kids, Oh kids, Yeah. 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:41.640 That's the kid thing. I don't know that I could especially, yeah, waited. 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:43.680 I don't know that I could have waited, but I 0:08:43.720 --> 0:08:45.480 will say so. Amy and I have talked about this, 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:48.920 the filling in the blanks therapist Amy, because she said 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:54.240 creative people and especially interesting with your brain because you're 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:58.160 like a producer movie person in your brain. You have 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.120 a very production oriented mind, which is what I like 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:06.320 about you and my lighting today. But she says that 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:09.520 creative people can get more creative when they're filling in 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:14.880 the blanks, and so sometimes the creativity works against us. Yeah, 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:18.040 I do this in marriage. Fill in the blanks. Oh 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:21.120 uh huh gets really creative. So like if I don't 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:25.000 give any example, well like not so much anymore, mostly 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:26.760 because I don't even know what day or time it is. 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:29.680 But for a while there it was really important for 0:09:29.720 --> 0:09:33.000 me to hear from him pretty often. It's also connective, 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:35.440 but there would be like these three hour four hour gaps, 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.439 and you know, like we have a saine in our house, 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:41.720 like days feel like hours to him and hours feel 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:44.719 like days to me on my end, and so he 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:47.320 I would be like it has been four hour, you know, 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:49.200 like I make up a store. He must be having 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:51.640 this lavish dinner or maybe he's you know, like whatever, 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:54.920 it gets really creative, and that's just not true. Like 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:56.920 he'll call and be like, hey, I was in you know, 0:09:57.000 --> 0:09:59.520 seventeen interviews and then I went to go use the 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:01.880 bathroom for the first time today, like you know whatever, 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:04.720 gracious assumption and what you filled in the blank was 0:10:05.120 --> 0:10:08.800 just dramatic. Or there's you know, a radio, like maybe 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:10.960 there's somebody out there and he's in some in depth 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:13.719 conversation and there's probably something, you know, like there's there 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:17.040 a girl there I don't know, right, Or is X, 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:19.560 Y and Z more important than me to be talking 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:22.360 to me? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, Oh you couldn't. You didn't pee, 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:23.840 You couldn't even just call me when you went to go, 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:24.440 you know what I. 0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:26.160 Mean, Like like that you couldn't have your phone in 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:28.319 pee at the same time. Come on, guys, post post 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:29.520 do your. 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:34.079 Especially if they're number two and then number one business? 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:36.440 Yeah right, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:38.880 So it's almost like we have to like ask ourselves, 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:40.280 where do you fill in the blank? 0:10:40.440 --> 0:10:43.880 Yeah, and you can make a case for anything. That's 0:10:44.200 --> 0:10:46.880 I'm really a firm believer of that, specifically in my 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:49.120 life lately, Like I can make a case one side 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:52.520 or the other if I wanted to, you could find anything. 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:55.360 So you have to make your case in the best way. 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:58.040 What do you do with your reactions? And have you 0:10:58.040 --> 0:10:58.960 gotten better or no? 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:05.840 I mean there's only certain people in certain things, you know. 0:11:05.920 --> 0:11:08.560 I mean I definitely if it was someone I didn't know, 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:11.360 it would be harder for me to do it. If 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:13.760 I feel comfortable with the person, or if I know them, 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:19.160 I can jump too quick reactions and I regret it. 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:22.960 I've gotten better with my words. I'm usually always I 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:27.240 like to think kind but assertive, but there are times 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:28.600 that I'm like, if I would have just waited and 0:11:28.640 --> 0:11:30.760 not said anything, it would have worked itself out. But 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:36.680 it's generally usually just kid related and having issues with kids. Yeah, 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:40.920 but I just I don't. I think I'm so don't 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:43.400 want to get walked on or don't want to feel 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:46.280 like I'm being abused in some way that sometimes I 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:48.640 just like over, I'm like, no, if I don't say anything, 0:11:48.679 --> 0:11:50.120 then they're just going to continue to do this if 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:52.160 I don't. If I don't do this, then something you know, 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:53.800 And so I just I make up those things in 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:57.200 my mind when they probably didn't even realize something was 0:11:57.240 --> 0:11:59.800 going on or didn't know or there wasn't bad intent. 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:01.960 In my mind, A lot of times there's bad intent, 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:03.679 whether there is or isn't. 0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:05.760 Is that funny how we always go to the negative. 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:11.199 Oh yeah with everything, Yeah, but also conditioned sometimes to 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:13.520 feel that way. In our defense, I feel like if 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:15.640 you put our three histories together, there's enough. 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:18.959 There is therapist and the couples. 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:24.520 There say there's enough data and less projection, So there's 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:26.720 some there's a point where you start to be able 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:28.920 to rely on what you know to be true about 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:33.439 most because of things pan out. Yeah, that's me. 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.680 And I would say to kind of defend your initial 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:39.400 reaction with the baseball thing, and I understand the other friends, 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:44.360 there has been prior behavior sure to this, So it 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:46.560 wasn't just this out of nowhere, someone you don't know, 0:12:46.679 --> 0:12:50.199 someone you haven't seen, kind of maybe not behave in 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:53.160 the best. They're kids, not coming down on this kid. 0:12:53.679 --> 0:12:56.160 But so there was a reason why it was, like, man, 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:58.600 it happened again, and now it happened to my kid. Sure, 0:12:58.679 --> 0:13:01.319 So I will defend your initial reaction and you being 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:03.640 upset to it a little bit too, because you've seen 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.160 that behavior. Yeah, and now it's your kid. Yeah, but 0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.080 you didn't like it when it was someone else's kid either. 0:13:08.240 --> 0:13:10.360 We talked about it on here. Sure it bothered you 0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:11.559 when it was someone else's kid. 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:13.800 I also think you're being polite when you say it 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:17.240 was a pretty substantial Bruce, like I would have been living. 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:18.120 Yeah, it was pretty big. 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:21.319 I'm really proud of you for being able to bad go. 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:21.920 Yeah it was. 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:24.440 Because in my mind, I'm like, it could have been 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:26.040 a fracture. That's how bad it was. 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:32.160 I thought it was not real, especially for how quick bruised. 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:36.280 Yeah, So in my mind, I'm like, if I would 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.679 have seen that, I would have been texting the person 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:41.000 being like, I'm so sorry. Is it fractured? Can I 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:43.040 like meet you up? You know, or like what can 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:44.360 I help with or so? 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:49.120 And then also to her defense, obviously she didn't see it. 0:13:49.760 --> 0:13:52.400 She heard about it though, Yeah, So to me, I 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:54.080 still and I'm just gonna be the one to say it, 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:56.920 I still think she should have reached out hearing about it. 0:13:57.440 --> 0:13:59.959 Having said that, maybe she is the kind of person 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:03.440 that just avoids. And that's what I'm also learning. I'm 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:05.680 the personality I want to talk about it. Come to me, 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:08.160 let's talk about it. Let's not avoid But maybe she's 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:11.920 avoidant behave you know, right personality And she was just 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:12.600 scared too. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.920 Yeah, And in her defense, she was even like, oh 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:17.760 my gosh, you know what I should have you know, 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:19.360 it's like it was one of those things where it's 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:22.880 life and busy and shouldn't even like think about it 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:24.720 that way from not seeing so. 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:26.800 Yeah, all and all that went. Well, I'm glad that 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:42.680 worked up, but I'm really more anxious about the other pets. 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:44.960 So is this the thing that we talked about on 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:46.080 the phone but you wouldn't tell me? 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:46.520 Yes? 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:49.960 Okay, So, oh, literally two days ago, we're talking about work. 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:51.480 She's like, so, I've really got something I gotta tell you, 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:53.000 but I can't tell you I'm like, you literally can't 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:53.560 do that to me. 0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:54.560 Do I know about this? 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:56.840 Does she know? 0:14:57.320 --> 0:14:57.920 Do I not know? 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:02.760 She knows? Why am I the only one that doesn't know? 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.840 So I'm being I didn't want it. I know this 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:09.480 is the series, but this is how this is how 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:12.760 I must feel often when the two let me tell you. 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:15.440 So I'm like, I'm like, I'm not gonna lie. 0:15:14.720 --> 0:15:18.320 I was like I paused. 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:19.280 Because I was like because she was like, I can't 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:22.760 tell y'all. So here's and I did it well, So 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:26.000 I made sure I didn't. Yesterday, the day that it 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:28.120 was happening, I said, I texted her. I was like, 0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:31.040 I'm struggling and I want to tell you, but I 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:32.920 do want to save it for the podcast because I 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:34.360 don't even know if I want to talk about it 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:38.040 and so and she had texted back, and you said 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:42.080 podcasts aside, like if this is something, yeah, I was like, 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:44.400 if you need like a real friendship moment, this doesn't 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:46.880 need to be for air, like I want to be there. 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:48.600 And I also know you don't love talking on the 0:15:48.600 --> 0:15:50.320 phone too, And I. 0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:52.280 Know I feel bad. No I should have reacted that way. 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:55.920 Well, No, she doesn't usually text me that though, like 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.920 if you're texting me that it is something that's pretty 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:01.880 like it's not like detrimental, but like, just I can 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:04.040 tell that it matters a lot because she won't say 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:05.400 that to me after. That's why I was like, I 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:06.240 want to just check in. 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:06.600 Yeah. 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:08.480 Yeah, And then even when we got on the phone, 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:11.280 I was still just like, no, I don't think I 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:12.160 want to talk about it. 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:12.880 But I was. 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:15.720 I actually think I might have called you and you 0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:18.360 didn't answer. Did I FaceTime you and you didn't answer? 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:19.800 Was there face time? I was like, a FaceTime? 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.480 Do you That happens a lot. Yeah, Well, I don't 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:25.200 like face times. I'm sorry, love the face and I 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:27.880 don't look at my missed facetimes like if I haven't 0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:29.360 missed when, I don't like go and look at him. 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:32.200 So I'm so sorry. Having said that, I'm really anxious 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:33.720 to find out. So what's going on? 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:38.440 So I I met Mike's girlfriend? 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:43.320 Oh wait, is this a new one? I love the cricket? 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:44.880 Is this a new one? 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:45.960 This is a new one? 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.160 Yes, okay, I know any one. Well, I guess that's 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:48.480 the part of. 0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:51.280 So. 0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:56.320 Yeah, So I when we had the talk in the office, 0:16:56.640 --> 0:17:02.280 So I knew he had a girlfriend, and and what 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:05.040 I basically said was, you know, before she meets the kids, 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:06.840 I'd like to because obviously I know this one's a 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.159 serious one, so I'd like to I'd like to meet 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:10.560 her before. 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.320 The kids do. Uh. 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:16.200 And just as I did respect for Mike and Allen, 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:23.080 so uh. And I was leading up to it, so 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:25.160 she had come into town because she doesn't live here yet, 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:32.320 and I we were, you know, going to meet and 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:38.719 I was so nervous, which I didn't know how to 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:41.320 like work through my feelings of it because it's such 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:45.320 a weird thing, like I am and this is like 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:47.880 the wildest part of it all is like I am 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:50.680 married with a new baby, and yet it's still hard. 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:53.560 And I was trying to like understand what piece of 0:17:53.600 --> 0:17:58.320 it is hard because it's just like not a natural 0:17:58.320 --> 0:18:01.080 thing to be going to go meet someone that is 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:04.239 about to be around my kids a lot, and I 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:05.640 haven't had experience with. 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:09.399 That sure at all. Right, were you going, let me 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:11.840 just set the stage. Were you going to meet just her? 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:14.639 So that was what was important to me, was for 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:18.639 it to just be her and I yeah, okay, And 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:24.359 so yeah, so that that happened and you know, just 0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:27.560 out of respect and privacy, I'm not gonna kind of 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:33.400 I'm not going to explain all of it, but it 0:18:33.480 --> 0:18:36.800 did strike a because at the end of the day, 0:18:38.000 --> 0:18:42.000 you know, it doesn't matter if because it doesn't it 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:44.080