Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you well. I'm in
Speaker 1: New York. I'm stopping down in New York. I have
Speaker 1: such a very, very hectic travel schedule this summer. I mean,
Speaker 1: I just can't keep up with myself. So I don't
Speaker 1: know which way is up or what time I'm sleeping,
Speaker 1: or I was in Martha's Vineyard for six days or
Speaker 1: five days with my annual family trip. I've had a
Speaker 1: lot of family time. You have everyone's been watching my Instagram,
Speaker 1: or if everybody hasn't been watching my Instagram, But I
Speaker 1: have been with my family and people NonStop. I don't
Speaker 1: think I've been alone in something like forty five days.
Speaker 1: So I flew in yesterday from the vineyard because I
Speaker 1: went to Dave Chappelle's birthday celebration, one of his birthday
Speaker 1: celebrations last night, and then tonight I'm going to perform
Speaker 1: at Madison Square Garden for his birthday. I'm going to
Speaker 1: go and do a guest set, a pop up set
Speaker 1: for his birthday. And so that was really fun. There
Speaker 1: were a lot of fun people there. Last night. I
Speaker 1: lasted till about I smoked a joy with this girl
Speaker 1: of Noelle. I haven't smoked weeds since I've been gone,
Speaker 1: because I don't travel with those kinds of drugs and
Speaker 1: that's illegal, by the way. And I smoked a joint
Speaker 1: with her and was out of my tree. So I
Speaker 1: lasted until about like nine to forty five, and then
Speaker 1: I got in the car and had my driver go
Speaker 1: get us a two pieces of pizza. Well, actually I
Speaker 1: went and got us two pieces of pizza. He stayed
Speaker 1: in the car and I got one for him and
Speaker 1: I got one for myself.
Speaker 2: You have full service.
Speaker 1: And then I seasoned his like I seasoned my own.
Speaker 1: And he's like, that's a lot of garlic. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm single, so tonight I have that. And then tomorrow
Speaker 1: night I have this little pop up show in East Hampton,
Speaker 1: and then I go to my worka for a month.
Speaker 3: Oh that's gonna be so nice. You're just having a
Speaker 3: get away from your getaway.
Speaker 1: I'm I have five days alone in my work up,
Speaker 1: five days before my guests start to arrive. Each week
Speaker 1: I have a different set of ten people coming, so
Speaker 1: I have five days to myself. I'm gonna be like,
Speaker 1: bang out some serious writing for my new book Good
Speaker 1: and Yeah. I'm just gonna keep the party going. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've just had so much action this summer and been
Speaker 1: around the world Africa. We went to three countries in Africa.
Speaker 1: We went to Zimbabwe, Kenya, and Tanzania, and then we
Speaker 1: went to Cape Town. My sister and I got rid
Speaker 1: of the kids, and I could not have been more
Speaker 1: excited to be alone with just my sister and adulthood
Speaker 1: and not dealing with any sort of teenage melodrama. I
Speaker 1: didn't sleep alone for the first six nights of Safari, oh,
Speaker 1: because someone was in my bed every night, not a man,
Speaker 1: a snuggle buddy, a child, and so yeah, so I
Speaker 1: am like ready every night. Then I get into bed alone, I'm.
Speaker 2: Like, you can starfish.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But I have had a lot of action this summer.
Speaker 1: I've had a lot of boys, a lot of fluttering around.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, that kind of action, a lot of Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm happy. It's exactly the kind of summer I
Speaker 1: was hoping for.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad just like getting out there, you know,
Speaker 3: find us something fresh.
Speaker 1: I've been seeing concerts. I saw two Bruce Springsteen concerts
Speaker 1: which were fucking incredible, incredible. I saw one in Oslo, Norway.
Speaker 1: We went for three days, which is I'm going to
Speaker 1: go buy a house in Oslo Decks. That's where the
Speaker 1: place I think to be is for climate change.
Speaker 3: Yeah, everyone's going to Osla or going to Norway this summer.
Speaker 3: I have like three friends going to Norway, Like.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's fucking gorgeous. The air is clean, the
Speaker 1: people are cool. It's like they get it. They had
Speaker 1: a huge gay Pride event. I loved it. I saw
Speaker 1: two Bruce Springsteen concerts. I saw the weekend last week
Speaker 1: in London. I swung through London again. Swang. Can you
Speaker 1: say swing? No? I like London. I swang. I think
Speaker 1: that refers to actual swinging. Swinging in London. I swang.
Speaker 1: So yeah, Chelsea, I have a question for you.
Speaker 4: How have you changed in the last year?
Speaker 1: Have I changed in the last year. My patience has
Speaker 1: definitely changed in the last year. My tolerance for undesirable
Speaker 1: circumstances has grown. I've found myself in a couple of
Speaker 1: situations or hotel rooms that normally I would just walk
Speaker 1: right out of, and I'm like, you know what, just
Speaker 1: suck it up, Just suck it up. You stay in
Speaker 1: enough nice places. And my reading has grown. I've been
Speaker 1: reading so much this year, so I've been using my
Speaker 1: time wisely instead of watching mindless TV and scrolling on
Speaker 1: my phone. I've made a real effort to read, pay attention,
Speaker 1: and spend less time on my phone. And it's not
Speaker 1: always a home run, but for the most part it is.
Speaker 1: It helps when I'm on when I'm on vacation, I'm
Speaker 1: not on my phone a lot. You know, there's a
Speaker 1: time like when we go to bed, I'm in bed
Speaker 1: with my sister, because I sleep with my sister everybody.
Speaker 1: Her name is Simone Handler Hutchinson. I don't know why
Speaker 1: she's supposed to be divorced so it should be Simone Handler.
Speaker 1: But anyway, she and I are always bunk mates when
Speaker 1: we travel, and we've been spending the entire summer together,
Speaker 1: so we've had a lot of one on one time,
Speaker 1: and I try I sexually harass her in the bed
Speaker 1: and before we're going to bed. She doesn't like that,
Speaker 1: she says, But like any sexual harasser, I can't control
Speaker 1: the I can't control myself. She yeah, she loves it.
Speaker 1: She loves it.
Speaker 4: That's good.
Speaker 2: Are you guys cuddlers?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, no, we don't do that. I mean, no,
Speaker 1: we don't cuddle the sister. No, no, my cousins do
Speaker 1: that though they're all gross. They all sleep in the
Speaker 1: same bed without underwear. I'm like, what wait wait, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: my cousins will sleep together with Gabby in the same
Speaker 1: bed and they all be topless or bottomless. I'm like, oh, guys,
Speaker 1: this is so disgusting. And my family would never do anything.
Speaker 1: I would never. I don't even think I've ever seen
Speaker 1: my sister's ever seen my Oh yeah she has. I'm
Speaker 1: in my family. I'm the freebird. Were you a naked
Speaker 1: family or not? No? No, no. I never saw my
Speaker 1: mother naked until she was dying, and like she was,
Speaker 1: you know, we needed to take her to the bathroom
Speaker 1: and stuff, but my mom was very shy and she didn't.
Speaker 1: And I'm not shy, but I don't walk around topless
Speaker 1: or naked in front of my brothers or sisters. But
Speaker 1: I also don't care, Like if they see me my
Speaker 1: sister's care, they don't want to, they don't want My sister,
Speaker 1: Shoshana won't even wear a bathing suit. She wears shorts
Speaker 1: over her bathing suit because she's so self conscious. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, who cares? Like we all have cellulate
Speaker 1: who gives a shit anymore?
Speaker 3: Just fatties. I was in a very naked family. We
Speaker 3: were just a very naked family.
Speaker 1: Yeah. That also doesn't appeal to me. Quite frankly, I
Speaker 1: don't because of the way I grew up. I'm just
Speaker 1: like like when I see people. My friend, I remember
Speaker 1: being at my friend's house and she just stripped right
Speaker 1: in front of me, went to the bathroom and then
Speaker 1: walked through her bedroom and her three boys were in
Speaker 1: the bed. And I was like, oh, what is this?
Speaker 1: And then I was like, actually, that's probably the way
Speaker 1: it should be, but it's not what I'm accustomed to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and now we have one of my most favorite people
Speaker 1: on the podcast today. She's I think, pretty much everyone's
Speaker 1: favorite person, one of everybody's She's in the top ten
Speaker 1: of everybody's favorite person list. She is an Emmy and
Speaker 1: Golden Globe winner, and her name is Sarah Paulson. Sarah
Speaker 1: Paulson is here everybody, and as usual, she's already pulling
Speaker 1: her Shenanigans.
Speaker 4: That's correct.
Speaker 1: She thinks we're in SeeMe Valley, which I've never been to. Actually, no,
Speaker 1: I did, I was. I was once there. Accidentally, and
Speaker 1: she's already had to go to the bathroom four times.
Speaker 1: She's been here for thirty seconds. Sarah, we have a
Speaker 1: lot to discuss. First of all, I have to ask
Speaker 1: you question.
Speaker 4: Hit me.
Speaker 1: You're in a very long term, successful relationship. Sure that
Speaker 1: I didn't realize you had met on Twitter? You two
Speaker 1: connected on Twitter.
Speaker 5: That's that's a little bit of a compressed Okay, can
Speaker 5: you I don't know that it's that interesting.
Speaker 1: Oh I bet it is. I think people are interested
Speaker 1: in your relationship, yes, okay, why because it's people think
Speaker 1: it's weird. Well people, it's it's not traditional, very to
Speaker 1: be but I mean, I think people are into it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm I'm I think a lot of people. I
Speaker 5: think all of our people are into which is all
Speaker 5: we care about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, why we're in relationships.
Speaker 4: Anyway, right, the public's approval?
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. I was on a date the other night
Speaker 1: with a guy and all I could think to myself
Speaker 1: was how will everyone react to this? And I was like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? And I was like, I wonder
Speaker 1: how this will be seen? Because it was very it
Speaker 1: was a non traditional date. I will say, well, you're
Speaker 1: not going to say more about it. No, because I'm
Speaker 1: not going to see that person again.
Speaker 4: Oh that's okay.
Speaker 1: It wasn't I wasn't interested, but I thought while we
Speaker 1: were on the date, I was.
Speaker 4: Like, oh, I know that feeling.
Speaker 1: What if this develops into something Cobby break you down?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm like, oh, will I have a private relationship
Speaker 1: or will it be a public relationship?
Speaker 5: So essentially, Holland Taylor and I met at a dinner
Speaker 5: party that was thrown by a friend that's for Holland
Speaker 5: that our friend Lee rose through for Buck Henry, the
Speaker 5: incredible screenwriter Buck Henry, who's no longer with us. And
Speaker 5: it was a huge dinner party that I was invited to.
Speaker 5: I was thirty years old, I guess dating someone else
Speaker 5: that was with Cherry Jones at the time. And there
Speaker 5: was one seat left at the table of this dinner party,
Speaker 5: and somebody arrived late and it was miss Holland Taylor,
Speaker 5: and she came in this sort of very what I
Speaker 5: now know, I'm very familiar with the coat she wears
Speaker 5: that she was wearing them that of course I didn't
Speaker 5: know then, but now to me is a very specific
Speaker 5: coat and this kind of drum like like hair muscled
Speaker 5: and late and like, I like this blue and she
Speaker 5: was like, oh god, the part, you know, it's this
Speaker 5: whole thing and wes yeah, a little bit just like that.
Speaker 4: Sure, yes, that was my.
Speaker 1: Last Yeah, so okay, not racist, Peppe.
Speaker 5: And there was one seat next to me and I thought,
Speaker 5: oh God, please don't let I found her to be
Speaker 5: very terrifying.
Speaker 1: Because you had admired her.
Speaker 4: I admired her before.
Speaker 5: I remembered sitting in the movie theater in New York
Speaker 5: City watching One Fine Day, and I remember her coming
Speaker 5: on screen. She played Michelle Feifer's mother. This says a
Speaker 5: joke we make whenever she feels unattractive. I'm like, you know,
Speaker 5: you have played some of the most beautiful women. It's
Speaker 5: not even up for debate. Michelle Fifer is one of
Speaker 5: the most beautiful women to ever walk the planet. You
Speaker 5: played her mother, like, we imagine that she we believe
Speaker 5: that she came out.
Speaker 4: Of your body, that you grew her, you know.
Speaker 5: And I was like, that's something you know that I
Speaker 5: think tells everybody you're beauty. She doesn't think that, but anyway,
Speaker 5: I turned and I looked up and I thought, that's
Speaker 5: the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 5: I hope she doesn't sit next to me. There's not
Speaker 5: a chair to be had for anywhere else, Like, there's
Speaker 5: nowhere else for her to go. And she sat next
Speaker 5: to me, proceeded to make fun of me all night long,
Speaker 5: thirty years old, and I was on Studio sixty and
Speaker 5: it was a show that she loved and wanted to
Speaker 5: be on, and of course nobody was watching it, and
Speaker 5: I just felt like a loser idiot, and you know,
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like she was making fun of you,
Speaker 1: but she was compliments looking.
Speaker 4: At me, like how old are you? She kept saying, yeah,
Speaker 4: oh I'm thirty, And she was like thirty. What kind
Speaker 4: of mora? You know, Like what kind of idiot is thirty?
Speaker 1: You know, she just like she.
Speaker 5: Just like, great, idiot is thirty. And then you know,
Speaker 5: and then the craziest part was at the end of
Speaker 5: the night we walked out of that restaurant, I think
Speaker 5: it's called Luke's on Beverly Boulevard.
Speaker 1: There was this I'm sure it's been shut down. No,
Speaker 1: it's there. It's still there. Oh well, shout out to everybody,
Speaker 1: go it's great.
Speaker 5: There was some kind of very very fancy sports car
Speaker 5: parked out in front of the restaurant, and Alison Janny,
Speaker 5: who's a good friend of mine, was at this dinner.
Speaker 1: Everyone loves Janny.
Speaker 4: And so it's me, Alison, Janny, and Holland.
Speaker 5: And when we were leaving the restaurant, Buck Henry was like,
Speaker 5: let me take this photo, and all three of us
Speaker 5: piled on top of this car that was not ours,
Speaker 5: and we like, you know, I was like, like.
Speaker 4: My picture, it's really I'm leaning all.
Speaker 2: The way back like such a thirty year old move.
Speaker 5: A thirty year old move like this, And Holland's doing
Speaker 5: something very respectful, and so is Alison, and I'm like,
Speaker 5: h hang ten or something like that I was doing.
Speaker 4: And Buck then sent us these pictures.
Speaker 5: And that picture was on my refrigerator for a decade
Speaker 5: before Holland and I got together, so her her picture
Speaker 5: was in my house on my refrigerator. I saw it
Speaker 5: every day. So this was the first time I met Holland.
Speaker 5: Ten years later we met again. Did you slide into
Speaker 5: There was that, but it was post doing a benefit
Speaker 5: for an organization called AS four that as FODS, an
Speaker 5: abortion rights organization that Martha Plimpton started, and we're both
Speaker 5: friends with her, and so she asked us to make
Speaker 5: these little, you know, ads or something to support the organization.
Speaker 4: And we were doing it.
Speaker 5: One after another, and we re met each other then
Speaker 5: and then followed each other on Twitter and that's when
Speaker 5: the DM slide happened. And then like a year later,
Speaker 5: we went to dinner. I thought it was a date.
Speaker 5: She did not think it was.
Speaker 1: A date, so wud she She thought she was just
Speaker 1: going to dinner with.
Speaker 4: Going to dinner with another human.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I was like, I had called my friends
Speaker 5: just being like can I you know, I was having
Speaker 5: that thing of like can I what will this look like?
Speaker 5: What will people say if I go out? At that point,
Speaker 5: Holland was I just turned forty. Holland was seventy two, And.
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't realize it was so thirty two years
Speaker 1: two years.
Speaker 4: Yeah, wow, Holland's eighty.
Speaker 1: Wow. It's fascinating.
Speaker 4: It is pretty fascinating.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it would you would it would? You know,
Speaker 1: I've always dated older people than myself typically in relationships,
Speaker 1: but I would think it would be hard to sustain
Speaker 1: over a long period of.
Speaker 4: Time to date with an older person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's always an attraction with somebody, but
Speaker 1: for it to make it last. And I guess that's
Speaker 1: applicable to anybody your own age. It's I guess what's sustainable,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 5: I think the truth of the matter is the things
Speaker 5: that are our troubles have less to do with age
Speaker 5: and more to do with just the things that bother
Speaker 5: you about another person when you're dating them, which are
Speaker 5: a myriad of things that it's actually not not the
Speaker 5: age stuff. Funnily enough, it's more like she's not a
Speaker 5: big communicator, and I'm a big communicator. I want to
Speaker 5: talk about everything, and she's like, I'm good, yeah, I mean,
Speaker 5: we don't need to talk about it.
Speaker 4: I'm like, well, I think we do. Yeah, right, Holland.
Speaker 1: And what do you attribute to having such a successful relationship, Like,
Speaker 1: what is it about this person with you that makes
Speaker 1: it so successful and keeps you happy, engaged and wanting
Speaker 1: to be there every day?
Speaker 5: I think she's the smartest, wisest, funniest, most extraordinary person
Speaker 5: I've ever met, So I can't imagine not being with her.
Speaker 4: I just can't.
Speaker 5: I just feel very, very lucky to be around someone
Speaker 5: so incredibly witty and funny and smart, and I think
Speaker 5: incredibly sexy. I find her to be the most beautiful woman.
Speaker 5: I tell her all the time, like she's the most
Speaker 5: beautiful woman I've ever seen, and she always will be.
Speaker 1: And what does she bring out in yourself?
Speaker 5: So I mean, this is a sort of anecdotal thing
Speaker 5: that is sort of meaningless to anyone who isn't me, probably,
Speaker 5: but I'm the kind of person when some thing, let's say,
Speaker 5: I set my alarm off accidentally, my house alarm, my
Speaker 5: first response is ago and I stay out loud. I
Speaker 5: don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
Speaker 5: I don't know what to do. I don't know what
Speaker 5: I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. And she's
Speaker 5: always like, you do you do know what you're doing?
Speaker 5: You do know what you're doing? That I'm like, I do,
Speaker 5: I do know what I'm doing? And then I remember
Speaker 5: my code and I'm able to So that's a sort.
Speaker 4: Of silly but a kind of.
Speaker 5: Very specific example of a way in which she sort
Speaker 5: of pulls me out of my tendency to be anxious
Speaker 5: or sort of hysterical in doubting my own capabilities. And
Speaker 5: she's sort of constantly reminding me about how capable I am.
Speaker 1: I love that. That is a really kind of because
Speaker 1: a lot of times in dynamics and relationships that are
Speaker 1: unhealthy is a person trying to remind you that you
Speaker 1: need them no, and that you need.
Speaker 4: She's constantly say to me, why are you with me?
Speaker 5: Why are you with me? Why are you doing this?
Speaker 5: What are you doing? You're very strange person, she says
Speaker 5: to me all the time, very strange that you're doing this,
Speaker 5: And I'm like, really is it?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 5: My mom tells me a story sometimes about a psychic
Speaker 5: that she saw when I was very young, who said,
Speaker 5: you're l this daughter is going to live a wildly
Speaker 5: unconventional life.
Speaker 4: Wow, And I was like, do you have her number?
Speaker 5: I got some new questions for her, this psychic, because
Speaker 5: it's true.
Speaker 4: I have lived a kind of unconventional life.
Speaker 1: Are you into psychic readings? Have you ever?
Speaker 5: I do liked them, but then I get really nervous
Speaker 5: about what they're going to say, and then I try
Speaker 5: to sort of like mentally will them to say what
Speaker 5: I want them to say, as if I have that
Speaker 5: kind of power.
Speaker 1: I find this to be very common. People are scared
Speaker 1: of psychics it's like, psychics don't tell you bad things,
Speaker 1: like that's not their business.
Speaker 5: I know if I have a friend who's psychic, told
Speaker 5: them something to tell me that was going on with
Speaker 5: me that.
Speaker 4: Was not great.
Speaker 1: What Yeah, it's true your name specifically, like well, like.
Speaker 5: She showed her my picture, this Russian psychic who like
Speaker 5: reads the bottom of coffee grounds and things, and she's
Speaker 5: this friend of mine has been going to her forever,
Speaker 5: and she's like, she's always right.
Speaker 4: She predicted all this stuff about the pandemic before it happened.
Speaker 5: She was in twenty twenty, it is going to be
Speaker 5: the year of mass death and it's going to be
Speaker 5: this wild thing.
Speaker 4: And we were all like, what what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: And I better keep smoking.
Speaker 4: Smoke whenever I am trying to communicate, Like.
Speaker 1: Or you're driving an eighteen wheeler like you did when
Speaker 1: you came in with your steering wheels.
Speaker 4: I was like, when I was driving here, so ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Now when you're on set, are you are you somebody
Speaker 1: who second guesses your performance? Because my god, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: because you see you strike me as someone who's constantly
Speaker 1: second guessing herself.
Speaker 6: I do.
Speaker 1: And you don't really understand your own gravitas.
Speaker 4: What is it that makes you think that, because I mean.
Speaker 1: I've just been around you and like like you're a
Speaker 1: little in a great way. I like it. I'm a
Speaker 1: little what you're just like a little bit wacky. I remember,
Speaker 1: this is the first time I met Sarah. This is
Speaker 1: that's the first time I met Sarah. I was doing
Speaker 1: my very first talk show, Chelsea Lately, and I got
Speaker 1: a letter, a note from Sarah saying who do I
Speaker 1: have to fuck to get on this show? And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh god, oh no, you sent me a
Speaker 1: video a video yes, and we played it on the show,
Speaker 1: and then of course we had you on the show.
Speaker 1: And that actually another very very moving thing you did.
Speaker 1: I thank goodness. I just remember this is. I was
Speaker 1: in the hospital for something a couple of years ago
Speaker 1: and you sent me the sweetest DM saying I had
Speaker 1: that heart thing that I've talked about. And she was like,
Speaker 1: you know, you sent me a very sweet DM and said,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm very concerned about you. Are you okay?
Speaker 1: I want to make sure you're okay because I don't
Speaker 1: talk to you that often. Even though I always admire
Speaker 1: you from Afar always, I adore you and everybody does,
Speaker 1: just so you know, in case you were wondering, everybody
Speaker 1: loves you. Well, that's nice, So take it on set.
Speaker 1: What is your story?
Speaker 5: I think I'm I'm very doubtful. I don't have a
Speaker 5: lot of confidence in my abilities. It's changing as I've
Speaker 5: gotten older.
Speaker 4: Do I have Chris Jenner here?
Speaker 1: Is it like? No?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 1: I actually yes, there's a striking similarity between you and
Speaker 1: Chris Jenner, and there always has been. That's exactly what
Speaker 1: I was thinking when you've.
Speaker 4: Walked sometimes I'm like, is it justin Bieber?
Speaker 1: It's more like justin Bieber? Yeah, more like Ellen. Actually
Speaker 1: you kind of has your giving off Ellen hare vibe.
Speaker 1: I mean it's a different color, but you know, I
Speaker 1: mean you're both lesbians. So there you go. All right,
Speaker 1: I guess that's all you need to have in comment. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry about our guests. I didn't know she was
Speaker 1: going to be such a live water two hot messes
Speaker 1: sitting right here.
Speaker 2: I was telling Chelsea.
Speaker 3: I was like, I just know you from your roles,
Speaker 3: which are all very serious, including by the way, Studio sixty.
Speaker 2: I was the person that watched it.
Speaker 1: You were the one person I watched Studio sixty, thank.
Speaker 4: You for watching.
Speaker 2: But I you know, and doing research for this episode,
Speaker 2: I was like, wow, you are like a tremendous, wonderful
Speaker 2: goofball and I was delighted and I'm so glad it's
Speaker 2: paying off.
Speaker 4: I guess I'm wacky.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you are wacky totally that like wacky, Like you're wacky.
Speaker 1: Onto're like, this is this shit? Wacky's great? Will you
Speaker 1: to be? You want to be nice? You know what
Speaker 1: I hate when people say, oh, she was really nice
Speaker 1: or he was nice? I go, what does that fucking mean?
Speaker 4: Doesn't mean an nice?
Speaker 1: This is not a descriptor. That just is saying that
Speaker 1: they're boring or that that's not being more compelling to say,
Speaker 1: you know, wacky's fun. That's positive. It's that beat. But
Speaker 1: back to your acting. Yes, I get with Ryan Murphy.
Speaker 1: You do tons of stuff with Ryan, right, So how
Speaker 1: does he deal with you? I guess is the question.
Speaker 5: I think he found a way to just throw shit
Speaker 5: at me that I was find challenging, just to kind
Speaker 5: of keep me from combusting. I guess the harder it
Speaker 5: is and the more I don't know how to do it,
Speaker 5: the more excited I get. Like the Linda Trip thing
Speaker 5: was the thing I'm the most proud of that I've
Speaker 5: ever done. Nobody really watched it, and nobody really cared,
Speaker 5: which was fine.
Speaker 4: But it's the greatest work I've ever done.
Speaker 1: Okay, I did not watch that one. What was the
Speaker 1: Linda Trip thing? I'll watch it now. I want to
Speaker 1: see you, but well, I know I don't have to, kid.
Speaker 1: I want to see you play Linda Trip. I want
Speaker 1: to see that physical transformation because you didn't go out
Speaker 1: there with your own face.
Speaker 4: It was so crazy. I did all this wild, wild wreck.
Speaker 1: Did you get to spend time with Monica Lewinsky?
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 1: She's a pleasure.
Speaker 4: She's a pleasure.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. People don't say that enough about Monica Lewinsky,
Speaker 1: so I'd like to make sure we're on record saying right,
Speaker 1: she's great, she's fucking cool, she's fun, and she's a
Speaker 1: great girl whose life could have been a disaster. That's right,
Speaker 1: and it was probably for a little bit of time.
Speaker 5: But now she's just as extraordinarily good hair you yeah, well,
Speaker 5: she's Jewish.
Speaker 1: A lot of Jewish girls have good hair. I'm only
Speaker 1: half Jewish, so that's why I'm constantly balding and I
Speaker 1: have no not anymore because I do this hair treatment
Speaker 1: called hark Lincoln. Have you heard of this no? So yeah,
Speaker 1: if you can see I have like it lowers your hairline.
Speaker 1: So now I have more hair than I know what
Speaker 1: to do with because I put this treatment in twice
Speaker 1: a night and it makes because I'm very fair. So
Speaker 1: you know, fair hair, I guess gets their Yeah, fair hair,
Speaker 1: fair hair, do care, But what do you lower?
Speaker 5: A lot of people have like trelesist to get that like,
Speaker 5: nobody wants it to start hair like it.
Speaker 1: Has new growth that comes in lower. I know that's
Speaker 1: new because women their hair. You because I'm fucking telling you.
Speaker 1: But I look at me, Are you look at me? Now?
Speaker 4: I'm Linda Tripp Manica Monica. This is I talked when
Speaker 4: I did it at this I talked about it. That's
Speaker 4: how I talked. I did a different voice and everything
Speaker 4: with Linda. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, you're very talented. I know that for sure.
Speaker 1: I was reading in your bio that you're scared of clowns, sharks, bees,
Speaker 1: and many holes in the same place.
Speaker 4: Tripeophobia or tripophobia.
Speaker 5: Like so for example, what's that game called where you
Speaker 5: throw those fucking way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the max into a hole. Yeah, like corn hole exactly.
Speaker 1: I knew it was a name I don't like.
Speaker 5: I don't enjoy corn hole either, But that doesn't bother
Speaker 5: me because there's space between the holes. I don't like
Speaker 5: when the holes are.
Speaker 1: Like what about connect for?
Speaker 4: Is that of that fine?
Speaker 5: That's fine because they're all the same shape. So think
Speaker 5: about like.
Speaker 4: A natural coral reef makes me want to vomit.
Speaker 1: Oh, I see what you're saying, all of them together
Speaker 1: Like wow, that is a weird thing to be or.
Speaker 5: Like like if I think about it gives me the heat.
Speaker 1: What about snakes?
Speaker 4: I don't mind them.
Speaker 1: I like them really.
Speaker 4: Oh, I've done a lot of snake work.
Speaker 5: I have a picture of me with an albino Boa
Speaker 5: constrictor around my neck.
Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, yeah, I don't I'm really I
Speaker 1: have a phobia.
Speaker 4: Really you don't like this.
Speaker 1: I don't like the flither, the movement there. I don't
Speaker 1: like that they're jumping now.
Speaker 4: Oh I don't know about the jumping.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they're jumping. Jump. Oh there was a snake
Speaker 1: that's that slid across a lake and then jumped onto
Speaker 1: someone's paddle board from Nope, yeah, that jump and they
Speaker 1: climb up things that you don't think that they can climb.
Speaker 4: I don't like that, tr but I have done some
Speaker 4: acting with some snakes and I liked it.
Speaker 1: But you're scared of clowns.
Speaker 4: I don't like a clown.
Speaker 5: You don't meaning like a Poultergeist cloud with Poltergeist, the
Speaker 5: one where there was a clown under the bed? Where
Speaker 5: was the one where there was a clown in the corner?
Speaker 5: It was like under the bed.
Speaker 1: I don't have a bad clown or like a bad clown.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 5: I think they're creepy. I understand the clown thing. I
Speaker 5: don't like it.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you playing a clown you feel Do you
Speaker 1: feel like that's something that could happen?
Speaker 5: I do, actually, but I just don't know why. That
Speaker 5: really makes me laugh. I could see you, like the
Speaker 5: great compliment of the day. I could see you playing
Speaker 5: a clown.
Speaker 1: What are you working on now? By the way, you're
Speaker 1: not doing anything right now.
Speaker 5: I've taken it. I took a break after the Linda
Speaker 5: Tripp thing. It was when the hardest things I've ever
Speaker 5: done was it. Yeah, I gained a lot of weight
Speaker 5: and that was an interesting experience. My body didn't respond
Speaker 5: well to that hormonally. Really, yeah, sort of put me
Speaker 5: into prepair. Its just while from gaining the weight, from
Speaker 5: gaining and losing.
Speaker 4: So who's calling? Who cares?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I hate this fucking Apple Watch, you
Speaker 1: know why? Because I don't need these alerts. All it
Speaker 1: has is I can't figure out how to put it
Speaker 1: on a regular there we go, can't. I can't figure
Speaker 1: out how to put it on a regular time frame either,
Speaker 1: so that I can just see the time. All it
Speaker 1: shows me is in the middle of a workout that
Speaker 1: I haven't been in for like three days, and then
Speaker 1: it has a compass.
Speaker 4: Somebody's got to figure this out for you. Well I wait.
Speaker 1: I mean, of course somebody does, and I just haven't
Speaker 1: gotten around to it yet. But I'm walking around Manhattan yesterday,
Speaker 1: walking along, walking along, and it just tells me north
Speaker 1: by northeast. I'm like, you think I give a shit
Speaker 1: about my directionals. I don't know what fucking time it is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, what were you doing in New York?
Speaker 1: I was on tour. So, yeah, you guys have to
Speaker 1: go to my show in October. I'm doing two nights
Speaker 1: at the Pantages. All of it.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 1: Okay, back to you. I'm interested in what happens to
Speaker 1: the body. I find that interesting on the exterior and interior.
Speaker 1: So how much weight did you put on and how
Speaker 1: did you do that?
Speaker 5: I just ate a shit on a food, bad food,
Speaker 5: bad food. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, And then I had
Speaker 5: gained it all. And then the pen were supposed to
Speaker 5: start shooting March of twenty twenty. Then the pandemic happened.
Speaker 5: We didn't shoot for eight months, and then I lost
Speaker 5: some of it, and then we didn't know when we
Speaker 5: were shooting, and they were like, now we're going you
Speaker 5: need to gain it back. And so it was a
Speaker 5: little bit of that, and then we shot for almost
Speaker 5: eleven months, so it was like I had to maintain
Speaker 5: that for a long.
Speaker 4: So it was almost two years. My body was like,
Speaker 4: what are we doing? The new normal?
Speaker 1: Cool?
Speaker 5: But then it wasn't, and you know, it just it
Speaker 5: was I think very hard on your on my hormone story.
Speaker 3: I do want to jump in really quick. We have
Speaker 3: a caller who is on your weight to therapy in
Speaker 3: a few minutes.
Speaker 5: So okay, oh oh oh, all right, forget about get
Speaker 5: about my perimenopausal.
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to that, or we won't.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that we're going to take a quick
Speaker 1: break and we'll be right back to get to our
Speaker 1: first caller. I'm very I'm very sorry. Why about this
Speaker 1: interview so far? Yeah, me too, Okay, and we're back.
Speaker 2: We are back.
Speaker 3: We're pausing prymnopause and we're going to talk really quickly
Speaker 3: to And she's thirty eight.
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 3: I'm living a successful, fulfilling and happy life except for
Speaker 3: the fact that I'm single and haven't been in a
Speaker 3: long term relationship for over ten years for a plethora
Speaker 3: of reasons. Last year, I moved to a small town
Speaker 3: in the Midwest to be close to my family and
Speaker 3: got an epic job as an executive chef at a nonprofit.
Speaker 2: I love my job.
Speaker 3: I just bought a place in the city that I
Speaker 3: absolutely adore, and I'm making wonderful friends here. Of course,
Speaker 3: I'm on the apps and I swipe daily. I flirt
Speaker 3: with guys in public and have told all my people
Speaker 3: here that I'm in search of a man who will
Speaker 3: exceed my expectations. But I've been told that I have
Speaker 3: high standards and am very picky by my friends. However,
Speaker 3: I just think I deserve the best and won't settle
Speaker 3: for someone who does not fit my life. I need
Speaker 3: advice from too strong in dependant women help. Cheers and
Speaker 3: Hi ed Hi Anne, Hi.
Speaker 1: This is our special guest, Sarah.
Speaker 6: Hi, Hi Sarah. How are you.
Speaker 4: I'm very well, thank you?
Speaker 1: How are you?
Speaker 6: Very nice to meet you.
Speaker 4: Nice to meet you as well.
Speaker 1: Well. First of all, I love having high standards. I
Speaker 1: think that is a good thing to have in life.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you can have high standards that preclude you
Speaker 1: from being open minded and enough to let the right
Speaker 1: people in.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 7: Yes, I've been on the apps forever and those are
Speaker 7: just not a fun experience. They're good for one night ers,
Speaker 7: you know, like when you want to get something fun.
Speaker 4: But I like that and you want to get something fun.
Speaker 7: And dating here in the area is it's pretty conservative
Speaker 7: and I am not. There's not very many people like
Speaker 7: me here. I mean, I've traveled the world. I've been
Speaker 7: a seven continents, thirty countries. I've seen the world, and
Speaker 7: I'm looking for someone that has the same quality of
Speaker 7: life is me.
Speaker 4: Are you at all willing to open up beyond the
Speaker 4: area where you're living?
Speaker 7: So I have thought about that. But I recently took
Speaker 7: a job about a year ago and bought a condo,
Speaker 7: so I'd like to stay here for a little bit longer.
Speaker 7: I'm happy to look outside, even out of the country,
Speaker 7: but I need to stay here for at least five
Speaker 7: more years.
Speaker 1: But you can still date somebody long distance, I think,
Speaker 1: is what Sarah said.
Speaker 4: What I'm wondering is.
Speaker 5: Like if you widen the pool, if you know that
Speaker 5: where you live there's a sort of contained, like a
Speaker 5: limited in terms of the possibility of meeting someone that
Speaker 5: shares your values or is interested in the things that
Speaker 5: you're interested in. I wonder if like widening the pool
Speaker 5: a little bit, it doesn't. I mean, I know many
Speaker 5: people who have started relationships long distance that then you
Speaker 5: make a change later when the time when it becomes
Speaker 5: clear that you don't want to live without one another,
Speaker 5: you become more willing to do that. But I think
Speaker 5: sometimes you might have to, You might have to expand
Speaker 5: a little beyond what's what's right in a little radius
Speaker 5: for you there.
Speaker 7: Okay, Yeah, because I've looked into Chicago, which has much
Speaker 7: more of my stuff.
Speaker 4: Gentlemen, Yeah, a nice style of gentlemen.
Speaker 7: Where do you live in the Quad Cities, so Illinois,
Speaker 7: Iowa near Davenport.
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. I know, quad cities.
Speaker 1: I've never heard that expression, but.
Speaker 5: Heard the Twin Cities Illinois and Iowa, about two hours
Speaker 5: west of Chicago.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, So listen, you definitely need to open up
Speaker 1: your pool because two hours is not even long distance.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's like many distance I've dated guys overseas.
Speaker 1: That's kind of the relationship I prefer, quite frankly, I.
Speaker 6: Think I'm will too.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also when you are dating somebody, I think
Speaker 1: you need to if you have very high standards. I
Speaker 1: have very high standards for myself as well, and sometimes
Speaker 1: our standards not that they shouldn't be high, they absolutely should.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you have judgments about people that you need
Speaker 1: to pare down because it limits who you're allowing yourself
Speaker 1: to let in. And sometimes being on one date or
Speaker 1: one interaction with a person is not enough.
Speaker 4: I agree with this completely.
Speaker 5: And I also wonder is there's some part of you
Speaker 5: that is keeping it narrow in terms of what you're
Speaker 5: willing or interested in because you're scared to maybe have
Speaker 5: the relationship in the first place.
Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: Sometimes we create these stories of like it has to
Speaker 5: look like this, and this is what I mean. You
Speaker 5: just said I have to be here for the next
Speaker 5: five years, and it's like you've got all this stuff
Speaker 5: kind of planned and figured out, which doesn't leave a
Speaker 5: lot of elasticity or room for anyone to sort of
Speaker 5: come inside that. Even mentally for yourself. It seems like
Speaker 5: you've got a plan about how you want it to be,
Speaker 5: and that means somebody, anyone's got to come into it
Speaker 5: in an exact right way or you're not interested. And
Speaker 5: I feel like sometimes taking you know, it's like a
Speaker 5: horse with blinders on. You got to kind of take
Speaker 5: them off and just you might notice somebody near you,
Speaker 5: closer to you than you may imagine, or even further away,
Speaker 5: but that you kind of need to sometimes question why
Speaker 5: you're making it so rigid in the first place, because
Speaker 5: there may be a deeper reason why doing that. Abbit
Speaker 5: that might make it a little clearer to you, you know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's super helpful.
Speaker 7: Yeah. I have always had very limited standards, like oh
Speaker 7: I can't do that, I can't date because of.
Speaker 1: X y Z, I can't do like give us some
Speaker 1: examples what are the things that are deal breakers in
Speaker 1: your mind?
Speaker 6: A Republican, I support.
Speaker 4: I support.
Speaker 1: I'm with you on that one.
Speaker 6: So I really like a foodie.
Speaker 7: I'm a chef, so having to explain what different ingredients
Speaker 7: or cuisines are it's very frustrating. But I guess I
Speaker 7: could open myself up to that. So, like, I get
Speaker 7: a foodie would be nice, but I don't have many
Speaker 7: deal breakers.
Speaker 1: That's okay, fine, Then let's go in the opposite direction.
Speaker 1: What are the things that you're looking for?
Speaker 7: Trustworthy kind a foodie, someone who's traveled the world and
Speaker 7: seen not maybe as many countries as me, but like
Speaker 7: it's curious and open to new cultural experiences. I prefer
Speaker 7: a person of color, and that's hard to find here
Speaker 7: in porn Iowa.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like it's going to be
Speaker 1: a tall order for Iowa.
Speaker 7: So that's why I'm like, I have looked out in Chicago,
Speaker 7: but yeah, it's just.
Speaker 1: Not What can I ask you? What's your work schedule? Like,
Speaker 1: do you work during the week or do you work
Speaker 1: on the weekends. What's your situation?
Speaker 7: So I work during the week and I have Sunday
Speaker 7: Mondays off.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a tricky night to go out to bars.
Speaker 1: I guess on a Sunday night in Chicago. I was
Speaker 1: going to say to a lot some of your time
Speaker 1: to like commit to spending a certain amount of time
Speaker 1: in a city where you're going to meet someone of
Speaker 1: color that meets these requirements. I have no doubt there's
Speaker 1: somebody for you in Chicago, correct, Like that is a
Speaker 1: huge city filled with tons of different types of people.
Speaker 1: So I think that if there's a way you could
Speaker 1: kind of commit your time to actually actively going to
Speaker 1: these cities and on apps are good. You know, you
Speaker 1: can definitely cast a wider net in terms of like
Speaker 1: your geographical location, but you should also spend more time
Speaker 1: in these play two hours is not a big deal.
Speaker 1: You can go spend the night there, get a cheap
Speaker 1: hotel room, you know, and like go out and experience
Speaker 1: the night life there and like go out to different restaurants,
Speaker 1: go to the places that you would be attracted to,
Speaker 1: or sign up for some sort of like group activity,
Speaker 1: like make it a two day adventure that you have
Speaker 1: Sunday and Mondays off, so you're doing like something outdoorsy.
Speaker 1: You're going to a nice restaurant, you know, just start
Speaker 1: cultivating different things that that aren't available in your city,
Speaker 1: because you have a huge advantage that a big city
Speaker 1: like that is so close to you.
Speaker 6: Right.
Speaker 5: And also, maybe instead of a person who has done
Speaker 5: all the traveling, what about a person who's just incredibly
Speaker 5: interested in doing it, a person that you could actually
Speaker 5: show some of, you know, the things you've learned and
Speaker 5: you know, discovered and places that are your favorite places
Speaker 5: in the world, people that might be really interested in
Speaker 5: doing it who don't necessarily have to meet. You know,
Speaker 5: it's a pretty rare, wonderful thing to be able to
Speaker 5: have traveled as much as you have, and maybe taking
Speaker 5: a little bit of the curiosity component and the willingness
Speaker 5: and desire to do it or willingness desire to learn
Speaker 5: about food, and you know, it seems to me like
Speaker 5: it could be more about a desire to do so
Speaker 5: rather than a person who already checks all of the boxes.
Speaker 6: That's super helpful.
Speaker 1: What about anyone in your restaurant. Do you work in
Speaker 1: a restaurant?
Speaker 6: I do?
Speaker 1: What about any of the people you work with.
Speaker 6: So there's a.
Speaker 7: Team of four of us and we're all women.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, listen, baby, let me tell you something man, we.
Speaker 1: Have a lesbian here, and we have probably a potential
Speaker 1: lesbian here.
Speaker 5: Everybody's a lesbian. I hate to break it too, all
Speaker 5: of you.
Speaker 7: I mean, if I could, I absolutely would like my
Speaker 7: front of house manager.
Speaker 6: She's sexy as hell. But we both like the D, so.
Speaker 1: Well, why but if you both like the D, hey
Speaker 1: get it, get a D.
Speaker 4: You can share?
Speaker 1: Why not? Why not? Why not experiment with her? If
Speaker 1: you're both like, if that that's it? You never know?
Speaker 1: You could?
Speaker 5: You doesn't want it, but you know, and doesn't look
Speaker 5: that interested. She says no with a little stinky face.
Speaker 1: You can get the D. By the way, without the woman.
Speaker 6: You know, that's right weight of a ban on you.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: But that's like a fissure for it. Have you been
Speaker 1: with men?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, no wonder all lesbians have been with men?
Speaker 1: And then they come they're like, forget get married.
Speaker 4: You're a great man. Yeah yeah, yeah, great man.
Speaker 1: Anyway, cast a wider net. Are there any other big
Speaker 1: cities within two hours of you?
Speaker 5: Besides Chicago's the US map look like it's so fun
Speaker 5: to like move What happens.
Speaker 1: If you go left? Left?
Speaker 4: Or right or down or up.
Speaker 6: I can't cast a wider net. That is absolutely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And also give people the benefit of a doubt
Speaker 1: if you like, if you go on a date and
Speaker 1: somebody's really gross and they turn you off, fine, But
Speaker 1: if you go on a date and it was just
Speaker 1: eh and there's really nothing there that repulsed you or
Speaker 1: you just found it kind of boring, I think you
Speaker 1: should give those dates a second chance. Because a lot
Speaker 1: of people are very nervous on their first interaction with somebody,
Speaker 1: you know, So I think like you should really just
Speaker 1: also give yourself a break, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I think you should think about all of this moving
Speaker 1: forward as expansion. Don't say no, open.
Speaker 2: Up, Yes, wider net.
Speaker 4: It goes with everything, the.
Speaker 1: Widening of the legs, all of it, it comes together.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry to be so crass, but you know,
Speaker 1: we're all friends here, so yeah, but I mean, just
Speaker 1: do that, practice it and make an event out of it.
Speaker 1: Like seriously, go to Chicago on your day's off for
Speaker 1: like a couple times a month. Go get a hotel room,
Speaker 1: go there and spend time there so that you can
Speaker 1: actually get FaceTime with people. You never know what the
Speaker 1: fuck's gonna happen? Or how you're going to meet somebody?
Speaker 6: Got it?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 1: Okay, report back when you do get penetration.
Speaker 2: We go to therapy, go go.
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, tell your therapist. I said, what up? Okay,
Speaker 1: So nice to meet you too. My friend once said
Speaker 1: to me, she's like, your standards are so high, and
Speaker 1: I go, I think they can be I said, why
Speaker 1: would they be low? And she was like, well, I
Speaker 1: just thank you your expectations. I'm like, but I'm I'm
Speaker 1: not desperate, So if I don't have someone to meet
Speaker 1: my expectations, then myself. Yeah to me, Now, I have
Speaker 1: a question about being with a woman.
Speaker 5: Do you You're like, that's fascinating, Well, no, it's about
Speaker 5: about vagina.
Speaker 1: I feel like being with a woman. I'm reading this
Speaker 1: book and there's this big lesbian hot scene in this book,
Speaker 1: right and they're describing this their love making, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is totally hot. Like you know, it wasn't like
Speaker 1: I wasn't a gay person, you know, Like I remember
Speaker 1: being younger and reading about things that I wasn't comfortable
Speaker 1: with and almost kind of like rebuffing it, being like ooh,
Speaker 1: and I realized my own reaction. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is hot, and I go I think I understand.
Speaker 1: I feel like being with another woman would make you
Speaker 1: a lot less self conscious about your body issues.
Speaker 4: For me, not so much.
Speaker 5: Still, I still because at the end of the day,
Speaker 5: it's still the fundamental truth is that you're still attracted
Speaker 5: to the person. You still have this normal, you know,
Speaker 5: human desire to be wanted and to have everybody find
Speaker 5: you appealing in those moments. And just because they have
Speaker 5: what you have doesn't mean that they're not or that
Speaker 5: you're you know what I mean, that you're not Like.
Speaker 4: Is mine weird? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: I always wonder if mine is weird?
Speaker 1: Right, I think everyone wonders if there's is weird. But
Speaker 1: I'm thinking in terms of like oh cellulate and like
Speaker 1: r flab and stuff like that. Like with a man,
Speaker 1: I do find myself making sure my body's in check
Speaker 1: like I want. And I was thinking about that when
Speaker 1: I was reading this book. I was thinking, Oh, I
Speaker 1: wonder if that is like something that I would feel
Speaker 1: with another woman, because I've been with women sexually and
Speaker 1: I've never felt self conscious. Yeah, but in like you know,
Speaker 1: manajo TOOI or something not like one on one right.
Speaker 4: And you didn't feel self conscious.
Speaker 1: No. I liked the liberation of it because it was
Speaker 1: another woman's body. It's like you have this, I have this.
Speaker 1: There was something very liberating about it.
Speaker 4: I understand that it's just for me.
Speaker 5: I think psychologically it was my body issues were just
Speaker 5: bigger than that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think your issues are bigger, right in general?
Speaker 1: In generally, in.
Speaker 4: General issues, it's true.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, moving on from that topic, Catherine, what do
Speaker 1: we have next?
Speaker 3: Well, next we're going to talk to Alyssa, and Alessa
Speaker 3: has a pretty tough question.
Speaker 1: Try and act serious, okay for this focus hy.
Speaker 2: Subject line is my best friend died?
Speaker 3: Bummer? I know, Alyssa says, Dear Chelsea. I'm thirty one
Speaker 3: and I live in Little Rock, Arkansas. I'm a hairstylist
Speaker 3: and spent the last seven years working in a salon
Speaker 3: with my best friend, my hetero life partner, my soulmate. However,
Speaker 3: almost a year ago, she died tragically in a car accident.
Speaker 2: I'm not someone who.
Speaker 3: Makes friends easily or keeps friends for very long, but
Speaker 3: Ali was the exception to that. She was truly my person.
Speaker 3: I'm struggling not only with just missing her, but miss
Speaker 3: having that female friendship. I don't have any friends, and
Speaker 3: I'm terrified to try and make new ones. Any advice
Speaker 3: on how to make new friends and maybe some advice
Speaker 3: on dealing with the loss of your very favorite person
Speaker 3: on Earth, Thanks so much, Alyssa.
Speaker 1: Hi, Lissa, Lissa, Hi.
Speaker 4: Hi.
Speaker 1: We have Sarah Paulson today as you're our special guest.
Speaker 6: Oh my god, Hi Sarah, Hi, how are you. I'm
Speaker 6: doing good.
Speaker 5: I'm so so sorry to hear about what you're struggling with.
Speaker 5: That sounds really hard you Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6: It sucks.
Speaker 1: When did this happen?
Speaker 8: So? Ali died in November twenty twenty one, so it'll
Speaker 8: be two years in November.
Speaker 1: Okay, And what's your situation like with your work, your life? Like,
Speaker 1: break it down for us, tell us a little bit
Speaker 1: about yourself.
Speaker 8: So I work in a private studio now, so it's
Speaker 8: just me by myself. I just didn't really feel like
Speaker 8: I could go back to working in a salon again
Speaker 8: with other stylists, And work has been really crazy hard,
Speaker 8: just because so much of our friendship was like intertwined
Speaker 8: in doing hair, because we were both hair stylists and
Speaker 8: so like I'm doing okay, but it's just I literally thought, oh,
Speaker 8: we're going to like grow old together, like oh, we're
Speaker 8: going to outlive our spouses and be golden girls, you know,
Speaker 8: retired and lived together one day. And now I'm like, oh,
Speaker 8: that's not happening, Like none of that that I had
Speaker 8: in my head is happening. And then I'm like, oh,
Speaker 8: I have to find a new friend, Like I have
Speaker 8: to find a new best friend.
Speaker 6: I don't want to do that.
Speaker 8: So it's just a lot like literally my entire trajectory
Speaker 8: of my life has changed. Yeah, do you have a
Speaker 8: spouse longtime boyfriend?
Speaker 6: We're not married.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that's good. You have somebody, right, yes, Yeah.
Speaker 8: He's super super wonderful and supportive and great, and I
Speaker 8: have like a really good support system. It's just I've
Speaker 8: just never been good at making friends and keeping friends,
Speaker 8: and I just felt like with Ali, it was like, oh,
Speaker 8: this is my person, Like I found my person. This
Speaker 8: is like the one person I can say the gnarliest
Speaker 8: craziest shit too, and her not I think it's like
Speaker 8: weird or crazy or anything. And it's just really difficult
Speaker 8: to imagine my life without that. And then also I'm
Speaker 8: so terrified to try to find another best friend like that.
Speaker 8: And I know, like no one's ever going to replace Ali.
Speaker 4: But I don't know when you say it's hard for
Speaker 4: you to keep friends, how so meaning.
Speaker 6: You know, I don't know if it's my I don't
Speaker 6: know if my pickers broken.
Speaker 8: You know, some people pick really bad partners, and I
Speaker 8: think that I don't know if I just picked really
Speaker 8: shitty friends in the past, or if it's just life circumstances.
Speaker 8: I just feel like every like really good close friend
Speaker 8: that I've ever had has like moved away, you know,
Speaker 8: in childhood or something like that, or I just never
Speaker 8: got those core friendships that a lot of my friends have,
Speaker 8: you know, like not close with anyone that I grew
Speaker 8: up with or anything like that anymore. So I think
Speaker 8: I just have a lot of anxiety about forming new friendships,
Speaker 8: and so that kind of keeps me from reaching out
Speaker 8: to people. And I'm like the most joke with everyone
Speaker 8: all the time that I'm the most like introverted stylist, honar.
Speaker 8: I'm so good at work, you know, I can talk
Speaker 8: all day, and then if I see my clients at
Speaker 8: the grocery store, I'm like, uh.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of people. A lot of people feel
Speaker 1: that way, even extroverted people feel that way.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's just I don't know.
Speaker 8: When you're out of that like controlled environment, it's like,
Speaker 8: wait what, I don't know how to do this, So
Speaker 8: I've just never been very.
Speaker 6: Good at it.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, let me say one thing. You have a
Speaker 1: long term, successful romantic relationship, so you are good at relationships.
Speaker 1: You had a best friend forever that passed away unfortunately,
Speaker 1: which is horrifying and terrible and you will feel that
Speaker 1: grief for a very long time. But that is representative
Speaker 1: of another successful relationship that you have. So this narrative
Speaker 1: that you have in your head about not being good
Speaker 1: at making friends isn't true. It's your past and it's
Speaker 1: your childhood. Like it's not even true.
Speaker 4: You weren't even who you are today then, so it's
Speaker 4: actually not applicable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like you have this the story that you're telling yourself,
Speaker 1: and it's like, you have a long term romantic relationship
Speaker 1: who's a wonderful guy. Like that says it right there
Speaker 1: that you're good at relationships. You're probably a one on
Speaker 1: one person, You're not a group friend group person, right,
Speaker 1: Is that how you would describe yourself. So I think
Speaker 1: you have to really you have a lot of work
Speaker 1: to do about changing that narrative for yourself, because the
Speaker 1: whole world is filled with possibilities. You sequestering yourself and
Speaker 1: working alone it's not necessarily the right move, because how
Speaker 1: did you meet your old best friend?
Speaker 6: I've got a job a hair salon, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: So I really think it's important to get yourself back
Speaker 1: in an environment that at least is bringing new people
Speaker 1: in and out of your life, you know, on a
Speaker 1: professional level. I think it is important to be in
Speaker 1: a hair salon with other stylists, with people, customers coming
Speaker 1: in and out all day, and setting yourself up for
Speaker 1: success in that way. For sure. I think work alone
Speaker 1: isn't going to be the answer. That's not how you're
Speaker 1: going to meet somebody, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: And it was happenstance that you walked into that salon anyway,
Speaker 5: and that that person happened to be your person, So
Speaker 5: the odds of something like that happening again are are
Speaker 5: significantly higher if you're allowing those things to happen, you know.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, And also being in an environment like a
Speaker 3: salon where you are sort of forced to be around
Speaker 3: the same people every day. You can form relationships that
Speaker 3: are more casual and you might find someone who you
Speaker 3: have obviously maybe not the same bond that you had
Speaker 3: with Ali, but a different and you know, successful bond
Speaker 3: with right.
Speaker 1: And there's ways to honor your like are you in therapy?
Speaker 1: Have you been to a therapist?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 1: Okay, there are ways to honor that friendship too, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like, you can kind of use
Speaker 1: that friendship as a motivating factor. You can have her up,
Speaker 1: you know, a picture of her up at your what's
Speaker 1: it called your little station, right? Is that what it's
Speaker 1: called a station at a slant right, Like, as a
Speaker 1: motivating factor to remind you what a beautiful friendship that
Speaker 1: was and what you were capable of having. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: what you're looking for again, Yeah, you don't have to
Speaker 1: replicate that friendship. There are so many people in this
Speaker 1: world that have value and lend value to our lives.
Speaker 1: And when we kind of get narrow because of something
Speaker 1: that's happened to us, we don't expand we just start
Speaker 1: to shut down and we're like, oh, I trust this
Speaker 1: person and that person and I'm not good at this
Speaker 1: I'm not good at that, And the reality is you
Speaker 1: could be great at all of these things. It's just
Speaker 1: your mindset. And I think you have to get into
Speaker 1: a different headspace, you know, like there's a time for grieving,
Speaker 1: there's a time for reaping and sewing, like there's a
Speaker 1: time for you to start investing in yourself again, because
Speaker 1: that's what your best friend would want for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I think you have to make a new relationship with
Speaker 5: yourself too, in terms of being a friend to yourself
Speaker 5: and doing some of this work that Chelsea's talking about,
Speaker 5: in terms of like recalibrating that narrative and don't feed
Speaker 5: that story anymore because it's actually not true. You have
Speaker 5: real proof in your life of being capable of having deep, rich,
Speaker 5: fulfilling relationships, both romantic and otherwise.
Speaker 4: So that is out there for you again too.
Speaker 5: I just but I don't think it can happen in
Speaker 5: a little sliver of your society.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 1: Does it sound like something that you can do is
Speaker 1: go and you know, seek out a job at a salon.
Speaker 6: Honestly, I don't know.
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just.
Speaker 7: Hairstylists.
Speaker 8: I'm going to be brutally honest, most hairstylists are like
Speaker 8: my least favorite type of people.
Speaker 1: I know. But think about what you're saying. You met
Speaker 1: your best friend as a hairstylist, and you're judging the
Speaker 1: rest of them like they're not gonna I know it's
Speaker 1: so stupid, But they're not all like that. They're not
Speaker 1: all that.
Speaker 8: But I think a lot of it also has to
Speaker 8: do with you know, I live in a predominantly conservative state.
Speaker 8: Lots of conservative hairstylist. Girl, he's out there, and so
Speaker 8: I love my little space and my vibe of my
Speaker 8: studio because I have my own little studio and it's
Speaker 8: like perfectly representative of me and I love it there.
Speaker 8: So it'd be really hard for me to step away
Speaker 8: from that into a salon. But I do think what
Speaker 8: you're saying is absolutely the thing that I need to do.
Speaker 8: I just don't know if I need to do it
Speaker 8: like in a work setting.
Speaker 1: Okay, well go great. Then think of other ways that
Speaker 1: you can get out there. There's other like minded people
Speaker 1: in Little Rock, Arkansas. I know it's a conservative place,
Speaker 1: but you will find your people. You can find your people.
Speaker 1: What about couple relationships? Do you guys have couples? You
Speaker 1: hang out with at all.
Speaker 4: Not really.
Speaker 6: My boyfriend is a thirty five year old skateboarder.
Speaker 4: So forgot.
Speaker 1: I mean he has a job. He has Okay, what
Speaker 1: about in your space, in your salon space, do you
Speaker 1: have room to hire another stylist or anything like that,
Speaker 1: or do you have any employee?
Speaker 8: Probably I have been doing here for like ten years,
Speaker 8: so I have thought about taking on like an assistant
Speaker 8: or something like that to try to teach someone else
Speaker 8: kind of just the things that I've learned, So that
Speaker 8: could be an option.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or hiring another stylist, And that way you get
Speaker 1: to choose, Like if there is some conservative person you
Speaker 1: don't want around, then you can choose who's come in.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a nice way to meet somebody. But
Speaker 1: there are millions of other ways. You can join a
Speaker 1: rock climbing group, you can like, what are you into?
Speaker 1: What do you do? Do you go hiking? Do you
Speaker 1: like to what else happens in little Rock? Is there
Speaker 1: a body of water there?
Speaker 6: There is? There are lots of bodies of water, Okay, great?
Speaker 1: Do you like to sail? Do you like to go
Speaker 1: river rafting?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 1: There's plenty of shit where you can join clubs and
Speaker 1: I know it sounds like, oh, well, I don't need
Speaker 1: to join a club to meet people. Yeah, you fucking do?
Speaker 5: You?
Speaker 6: Literally you do.
Speaker 1: You're calling us figuring out how to get a friend?
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? And you have to
Speaker 1: put yourself out there in ways that don't seem natural
Speaker 1: to you in order to attract something different and attract
Speaker 1: something new. Because you're capable of having a great friend,
Speaker 1: you're just grieving the one that you lost and you
Speaker 1: think she's irreplaceable, which she probably is, but that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean there's not another great friend out there, or even
Speaker 1: more than one great friend out there. How great would
Speaker 1: it be to find a group of girls that you
Speaker 1: actually vibe with, that believe in the same stuff you know,
Speaker 1: and it's two or three girls like, that's a possibility too.
Speaker 5: I had a therapist one time say to me when
Speaker 5: I was thinking about dating and I wasn't sure if
Speaker 5: I wanted to dat a man, I wasn't sure if
Speaker 5: I wanted to date a woman. I wasn't sure what
Speaker 5: I wanted to do. And she said to me, you know,
Speaker 5: you can't figure this out hypothetically. You can't figure it
Speaker 5: out in your living room. You have to go out
Speaker 5: into the world and have some experiences, and those experiences
Speaker 5: are going to like direct you, you know, and you're
Speaker 5: going to get more information that's going to concretize something
Speaker 5: that you may be feeling.
Speaker 1: You know, you needize, you need to Finally, finally the
Speaker 1: clown comes up with a good word or like a
Speaker 1: book club. Are you in reading? Make it book club?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Book clubs are cool. At least they're going to be
Speaker 1: smart and fucking reading.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's a good thought.
Speaker 5: Should think about things that move you, that you get
Speaker 5: excited by and seeing seeing if there's something.
Speaker 1: Or you can drive. You know, if you're into like
Speaker 1: are you you said you don't like to be around
Speaker 1: conservative people. Are you into politics? You could join like
Speaker 1: a political group that like gets out the vote or
Speaker 1: something like that, and.
Speaker 5: You'll automatically meet people who have more of a sensibility.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, I can do these things.
Speaker 5: I can do that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 3: Bottom line, you gotta treat friendship when you're looking for
Speaker 3: a friend a little bit like dating.
Speaker 2: It's a numbers game.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 2: The more you put yourself out.
Speaker 3: There, the more individual situations you put yourself in, the
Speaker 3: more people you meet, the more likely you are to
Speaker 3: find sort of the one or the two or three.
Speaker 1: Right, there's a way for you to localize people on
Speaker 1: your Instagram. Don't ask me how because I don't know,
Speaker 1: but it's it's a possibility to localize people, to find
Speaker 1: people in Little Rock and that way, Like when you're
Speaker 1: looking at people's Instagram profiles, I think that's a great
Speaker 1: way to reach out to somebody or to date somebody
Speaker 1: because you're getting a kind of a full spectrum of
Speaker 1: what they're into and what they're not. And that's a
Speaker 1: totally normal thing to reach out via Instagram. I have
Speaker 1: tons of friends that reach out to me via Instagram,
Speaker 1: strangers and friends.
Speaker 4: You know that.
Speaker 1: I yeah, we did. I mean that's how I booked
Speaker 1: Sarah on the podcast. So, like, just think outside of
Speaker 1: your comfort zone and make some actionable like take some
Speaker 1: actionable steps where you're actually doing things that you wouldn't
Speaker 1: normally do to meet some friends that are like minded.
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, you gotta do things and talk to people.
Speaker 4: You got a great voice and a great accent.
Speaker 1: Well, and also listen, I want you to just get
Speaker 1: up every day for the next like twenty one days
Speaker 1: and write down. I'm good at making friends. I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful to have found new friends. Write it down like
Speaker 1: it's already happened. I'm so grateful for these new relationships
Speaker 1: in my life. I'm grateful for this new relationship. I'm
Speaker 1: grateful to have met this new these all these new people.
Speaker 1: Just write that down for twenty one days and there
Speaker 1: will be a shift within you and you will be
Speaker 1: more open. So will it into your life?
Speaker 4: Very good?
Speaker 1: Very good? Yeah, your sister just kidding.
Speaker 4: You seem like you change mid way through. I was like,
Speaker 4: what's happening?
Speaker 1: Sorry that you have to witness arch A canery, but
Speaker 1: we're both key.
Speaker 6: I'm thoroughly doing it.
Speaker 1: But anyway, Lissa, you're gonna be fine. And I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry about your friend. I know that's devastating and grief
Speaker 1: is you know. I'm so glad you're seeing somebody to
Speaker 1: talk to about that. But just remember your bestie would
Speaker 1: want you to be happy in making friends, you know.
Speaker 6: Yeah, for sure, you're right.
Speaker 1: Just like anyone who loves you, they want to see
Speaker 1: you succeed.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, I can do that.
Speaker 1: Okay, let us know when you make some friends.
Speaker 3: Okay, Alissa, thanks.
Speaker 1: It is true though, sometimes you have really good advice.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, Sonny. Isn't it true? Though? Sometimes you get
Speaker 1: such a narrative in your head about your things you've
Speaker 1: done in the past, which who hasn't done things that
Speaker 1: they've regretted, and you define the future by that or
Speaker 1: your present moment by the past behavior, And it's like
Speaker 1: everyone is capable of change and shifting.
Speaker 5: I also think the thing that sometimes helped you survive
Speaker 5: as a young person, they become the real thing that's
Speaker 5: the hindrance to you as a grown up. It's like
Speaker 5: a little and you hold on to it because you're afraid.
Speaker 5: You only know how to function with these sort of
Speaker 5: things in order, and sort of holding on really tightly
Speaker 5: to the way things used to work for yourself that
Speaker 5: when new things start happy opening, you either dig a
Speaker 5: little bit deeper and you refuse to let it go,
Speaker 5: or you find a way to trust that you can
Speaker 5: make different choices that. I do think the very thing
Speaker 5: that kept you safe for made you know how to
Speaker 5: function in the world, ends up being something that can
Speaker 5: be constraining.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Brenane Brown says that like it's your teflon, it's
Speaker 1: like your cover. That's why It's called midlife crisis because
Speaker 1: at a certain age it stops working for you, and
Speaker 1: usually around forty you're like, wait, the very thing that
Speaker 1: made me so successful is the thing that's now making
Speaker 1: me back. Yeah, tactly. So that is I think a
Speaker 1: salient piece of advice as well. But I also think
Speaker 1: when we lose someone, there's a guilt in letting go
Speaker 1: of totally and moving on, Like people get so guilty,
Speaker 1: like God, if I fall in love or if I'm
Speaker 1: happy again, this is what does this mean to her? Like, well,
Speaker 1: I was reading this book yesterday about PTSD and you know,
Speaker 1: Vietnam vets and how they can wake up with terrible nightmares,
Speaker 1: and it was in that body keeps the Score, Catherine, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and patient was saying, oh, I can't be present for
Speaker 1: my family and children because that means I've deserted all
Speaker 1: of my that I was in war with and all
Speaker 1: the soldiers who fell, like I can't disappoint them and
Speaker 1: they're gone. So instead of valuing the people who are
Speaker 1: in front of you, they're still hooked on that. And
Speaker 1: so I think that's also something to remember, to know
Speaker 1: that people want you to move on with your life.
Speaker 3: I know I when I was rereading that email after
Speaker 3: the first time I read it, I realized is Ali
Speaker 3: and Alyssa. And I'm like, I'm sure they were just
Speaker 3: like two peas in a pod. But yeah, I think
Speaker 3: that was very good advice for her. Should we take
Speaker 3: a little break and wrap up?
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll take a break and then I'm gonna kick
Speaker 1: Sarah Paulson out of here?
Speaker 4: Do you keep going? Do you do like others?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: No, I'm wrapped for the day. This is it?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 1: Okay, Like I said, we're gonna take a break, Okay,
Speaker 1: and we're back. We're back. We're back with Chelsea and
Speaker 1: saying it's already over. I don't want it to be over.
Speaker 1: Do you have one more? Do you have one more
Speaker 1: question to throw at us? I actually do?
Speaker 2: I actually have a pretty juicy one?
Speaker 1: Oh well, why didn't you say that?
Speaker 4: How about how you were gonna let us go with
Speaker 4: a juicy one on the line?
Speaker 1: How dare you well, we'd like to wrap things up
Speaker 1: in an hour to be respectful.
Speaker 3: Well, this question comes from Ashley's.
Speaker 4: That's a lot of alliteration today, it's a lot of alliteration.
Speaker 4: They're all A's and Alyssa and Ashley.
Speaker 1: Ashley spelled with an L E I g H. So
Speaker 1: you know that's the other ones we take it from.
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, love your podcast, and boy do I have
Speaker 3: a doozy of a problem for you. I work in
Speaker 3: entertainment and run my own company. I'm forty years old
Speaker 3: and over the years have built a niche but profitable
Speaker 3: client list for myself. Fifteen years ago, when I was
Speaker 3: still very young and starting out, I had a flirtation
Speaker 3: with one of my first clients, which turned into a
Speaker 3: full fledged affair that went on for years. He was
Speaker 3: and still is married, and so was I at the time.
Speaker 3: This went on for so long that we both had
Speaker 3: children with our respective partners, all while carrying on this affair.
Speaker 3: A few years ago, I left my husband. There was
Speaker 3: no love there for a long time, no surprise given
Speaker 3: what I was doing, and I just couldn't do it anymore.
Speaker 3: But after that situation resolved, I realized I no longer
Speaker 3: wanted or needed the affair.
Speaker 4: I was having.
Speaker 3: It's as if the cloud of my toxic marriage was
Speaker 3: obscuring the fact that I had long ago fallen out
Speaker 3: of love with this other man as well, and just
Speaker 3: hadn't realized it, so I broke it off.
Speaker 2: Here's the problem.
Speaker 3: He's still my biggest client, and for obvious reasons, it's
Speaker 3: gotten weird professionally. He swore he would never fire me
Speaker 3: or go to another company because of our situation, but
Speaker 3: over the months he's become colder, unresponsive to calls, and
Speaker 3: very critical of my work. I'm almost certain he's meeting
Speaker 3: with other companies while I have other clients. The loss
Speaker 3: of this revenue were he to fire me, would impact
Speaker 3: my future. I'm fully aware that I've gotten myself into
Speaker 3: this situation and this is the definition of don't shit
Speaker 3: where you eat. But now I'm in it and I'm
Speaker 3: losing sleep. Help thanks, Ashley, m hmmm.
Speaker 4: Trying.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think. I think if your motivation
Speaker 1: is listen. I understand it's financial and it's your career
Speaker 1: and your job, But I think him leaving wouldn't be
Speaker 1: the worst thing in the world. I think that is
Speaker 1: a bigger burden to Carrie than replacing him financially, which
Speaker 1: will happen. You will get other clients and if if
Speaker 1: the writing's on the wall, I would probably get ahead
Speaker 1: of it. If you can, if you want to, I
Speaker 1: mean get ahead of it. But it's not a bad thing,
Speaker 1: Like it's kind of a toxic thing in your life.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it sounds like adding so much complication to your
Speaker 5: daily life and not sleeping and all that over something
Speaker 5: like this. It's like, I don't know, waiting.
Speaker 1: To be fired, waiting to be the worst feeling in
Speaker 1: the world.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and not only that, it feels like closing the
Speaker 5: door on a chapter in a real complete way to
Speaker 5: maybe end anything where there's still a tie that is
Speaker 5: sort of connected to how you're making a living that's
Speaker 5: got so much sort of toxic I don't know.
Speaker 1: Did they say they're still sleeping together? Okay, yeah for sure, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think. I mean, I don't know what the ins
Speaker 1: and outs of are like for references and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't rely on him for any of that anyway,
Speaker 1: because you already have such a history. The healthiest thing
Speaker 1: for you would definitely would be to cut ties, whatever
Speaker 1: that means financially. I think you have to have faith
Speaker 1: in the fact that you will get other clients that
Speaker 1: will supplement that, you know, and replace his whatever income
Speaker 1: he's bringing into your company. But yeah, it's bad juju.
Speaker 4: I think it's bad juju.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think sometimes when you get rid of
Speaker 3: that bad juju, you make space for the good things
Speaker 3: to come in, and it gets.
Speaker 4: Craze for good clients.
Speaker 5: Yeah, absolutely, because also it's a fear based response to
Speaker 5: want to hold on to it anyway, because she's afraid
Speaker 5: that nothing's going to come forward.
Speaker 4: But I think cutting that you'd be surprised to see
Speaker 4: what what what? Lands?
Speaker 1: You smell like baby powder? Do you know that? Yeah,
Speaker 1: like a little baby, like a little bit. And I
Speaker 1: usually don't like to smell babies, to be honest with you,
Speaker 1: because yeah, I understand any but you smell like an
Speaker 1: adult baby.
Speaker 5: I do.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's fresh clean, Yeah, my bathe, it's my perfume.
Speaker 4: Don't ask me what it is.
Speaker 1: Sarah Catherine Paulson, we were so blastes were we were
Speaker 1: we she was late. No, we were happy to have
Speaker 1: you today and we love you. Thank you right back.
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1: Okay, shall them shall em shot bout shalom? Okay, guys,
Speaker 1: we have added more shows to my Little Big Bitch tour.
Speaker 1: I added another second show in Toronto, so I have
Speaker 1: two shows in Toronto now to December seventh, December eighth,
Speaker 1: December ninth, I'm in Ottawa and two new shows at
Speaker 1: December fifteenth. On a Friday, we're doing a seventh thirty
Speaker 1: and ten pm show with Kevin Hart and Friends that's
Speaker 1: in Thackerville, Oklahoma. And all my other shows you can
Speaker 1: buy tickets for at Chelseahandler dot com. I'm starting my
Speaker 1: tour backup on September twenty ninth in New York City
Speaker 1: at the Beacon, which is sold out, but the next
Speaker 1: night there are tickets available in September thirtieth at the Beacon,
Speaker 1: So for all fall dates, you can go to Chelseamler
Speaker 1: dot com for tickets and you'll see me.
Speaker 4: If you'd like.
Speaker 3: Advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at Dear Chelsea
Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com and be sure to include
Speaker 3: your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by
Speaker 3: Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure to
Speaker 3: check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com