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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you well. I'm in

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Speaker 1: New York. I'm stopping down in New York. I have

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Speaker 1: such a very, very hectic travel schedule this summer. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I just can't keep up with myself. So I don't

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Speaker 1: know which way is up or what time I'm sleeping,

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Speaker 1: or I was in Martha's Vineyard for six days or

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Speaker 1: five days with my annual family trip. I've had a

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Speaker 1: lot of family time. You have everyone's been watching my Instagram,

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Speaker 1: or if everybody hasn't been watching my Instagram, But I

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Speaker 1: have been with my family and people NonStop. I don't

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Speaker 1: think I've been alone in something like forty five days.

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Speaker 1: So I flew in yesterday from the vineyard because I

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Speaker 1: went to Dave Chappelle's birthday celebration, one of his birthday

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Speaker 1: celebrations last night, and then tonight I'm going to perform

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Speaker 1: at Madison Square Garden for his birthday. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: go and do a guest set, a pop up set

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Speaker 1: for his birthday. And so that was really fun. There

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Speaker 1: were a lot of fun people there. Last night. I

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Speaker 1: lasted till about I smoked a joy with this girl

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Speaker 1: of Noelle. I haven't smoked weeds since I've been gone,

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Speaker 1: because I don't travel with those kinds of drugs and

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Speaker 1: that's illegal, by the way. And I smoked a joint

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Speaker 1: with her and was out of my tree. So I

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Speaker 1: lasted until about like nine to forty five, and then

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Speaker 1: I got in the car and had my driver go

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Speaker 1: get us a two pieces of pizza. Well, actually I

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Speaker 1: went and got us two pieces of pizza. He stayed

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Speaker 1: in the car and I got one for him and

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Speaker 1: I got one for myself.

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Speaker 2: You have full service.

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Speaker 1: And then I seasoned his like I seasoned my own.

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Speaker 1: And he's like, that's a lot of garlic. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm single, so tonight I have that. And then tomorrow

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Speaker 1: night I have this little pop up show in East Hampton,

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Speaker 1: and then I go to my worka for a month.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's gonna be so nice. You're just having a

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Speaker 3: get away from your getaway.

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Speaker 1: I'm I have five days alone in my work up,

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Speaker 1: five days before my guests start to arrive. Each week

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Speaker 1: I have a different set of ten people coming, so

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Speaker 1: I have five days to myself. I'm gonna be like,

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Speaker 1: bang out some serious writing for my new book Good

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Speaker 1: and Yeah. I'm just gonna keep the party going. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I've just had so much action this summer and been

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Speaker 1: around the world Africa. We went to three countries in Africa.

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Speaker 1: We went to Zimbabwe, Kenya, and Tanzania, and then we

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Speaker 1: went to Cape Town. My sister and I got rid

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Speaker 1: of the kids, and I could not have been more

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Speaker 1: excited to be alone with just my sister and adulthood

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Speaker 1: and not dealing with any sort of teenage melodrama. I

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Speaker 1: didn't sleep alone for the first six nights of Safari, oh,

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Speaker 1: because someone was in my bed every night, not a man,

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Speaker 1: a snuggle buddy, a child, and so yeah, so I

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Speaker 1: am like ready every night. Then I get into bed alone, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Like, you can starfish.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. But I have had a lot of action this summer.

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Speaker 1: I've had a lot of boys, a lot of fluttering around.

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Speaker 2: Oh oh, that kind of action, a lot of Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I'm happy. It's exactly the kind of summer I

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Speaker 1: was hoping for.

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Speaker 3: I'm so glad just like getting out there, you know,

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Speaker 3: find us something fresh.

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Speaker 1: I've been seeing concerts. I saw two Bruce Springsteen concerts

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Speaker 1: which were fucking incredible, incredible. I saw one in Oslo, Norway.

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Speaker 1: We went for three days, which is I'm going to

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Speaker 1: go buy a house in Oslo Decks. That's where the

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Speaker 1: place I think to be is for climate change.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, everyone's going to Osla or going to Norway this summer.

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Speaker 3: I have like three friends going to Norway, Like.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's fucking gorgeous. The air is clean, the

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Speaker 1: people are cool. It's like they get it. They had

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Speaker 1: a huge gay Pride event. I loved it. I saw

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Speaker 1: two Bruce Springsteen concerts. I saw the weekend last week

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Speaker 1: in London. I swung through London again. Swang. Can you

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Speaker 1: say swing? No? I like London. I swang. I think

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Speaker 1: that refers to actual swinging. Swinging in London. I swang.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, Chelsea, I have a question for you.

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Speaker 4: How have you changed in the last year?

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Speaker 1: Have I changed in the last year. My patience has

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Speaker 1: definitely changed in the last year. My tolerance for undesirable

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Speaker 1: circumstances has grown. I've found myself in a couple of

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Speaker 1: situations or hotel rooms that normally I would just walk

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Speaker 1: right out of, and I'm like, you know what, just

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Speaker 1: suck it up, Just suck it up. You stay in

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Speaker 1: enough nice places. And my reading has grown. I've been

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Speaker 1: reading so much this year, so I've been using my

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Speaker 1: time wisely instead of watching mindless TV and scrolling on

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Speaker 1: my phone. I've made a real effort to read, pay attention,

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Speaker 1: and spend less time on my phone. And it's not

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Speaker 1: always a home run, but for the most part it is.

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Speaker 1: It helps when I'm on when I'm on vacation, I'm

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Speaker 1: not on my phone a lot. You know, there's a

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Speaker 1: time like when we go to bed, I'm in bed

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Speaker 1: with my sister, because I sleep with my sister everybody.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Simone Handler Hutchinson. I don't know why

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Speaker 1: she's supposed to be divorced so it should be Simone Handler.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, she and I are always bunk mates when

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Speaker 1: we travel, and we've been spending the entire summer together,

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Speaker 1: so we've had a lot of one on one time,

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Speaker 1: and I try I sexually harass her in the bed

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Speaker 1: and before we're going to bed. She doesn't like that,

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Speaker 1: she says, But like any sexual harasser, I can't control

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Speaker 1: the I can't control myself. She yeah, she loves it.

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Speaker 1: She loves it.

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Speaker 4: That's good.

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Speaker 2: Are you guys cuddlers?

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Speaker 1: No? No, no, no, we don't do that. I mean, no,

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Speaker 1: we don't cuddle the sister. No, no, my cousins do

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Speaker 1: that though they're all gross. They all sleep in the

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Speaker 1: same bed without underwear. I'm like, what wait wait, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: my cousins will sleep together with Gabby in the same

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Speaker 1: bed and they all be topless or bottomless. I'm like, oh, guys,

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Speaker 1: this is so disgusting. And my family would never do anything.

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Speaker 1: I would never. I don't even think I've ever seen

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Speaker 1: my sister's ever seen my Oh yeah she has. I'm

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Speaker 1: in my family. I'm the freebird. Were you a naked

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Speaker 1: family or not? No? No, no. I never saw my

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Speaker 1: mother naked until she was dying, and like she was,

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Speaker 1: you know, we needed to take her to the bathroom

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Speaker 1: and stuff, but my mom was very shy and she didn't.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not shy, but I don't walk around topless

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Speaker 1: or naked in front of my brothers or sisters. But

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Speaker 1: I also don't care, Like if they see me my

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Speaker 1: sister's care, they don't want to, they don't want My sister,

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Speaker 1: Shoshana won't even wear a bathing suit. She wears shorts

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Speaker 1: over her bathing suit because she's so self conscious. And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, who cares? Like we all have cellulate

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Speaker 1: who gives a shit anymore?

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Speaker 3: Just fatties. I was in a very naked family. We

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Speaker 3: were just a very naked family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. That also doesn't appeal to me. Quite frankly, I

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Speaker 1: don't because of the way I grew up. I'm just

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Speaker 1: like like when I see people. My friend, I remember

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Speaker 1: being at my friend's house and she just stripped right

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Speaker 1: in front of me, went to the bathroom and then

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Speaker 1: walked through her bedroom and her three boys were in

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Speaker 1: the bed. And I was like, oh, what is this?

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Speaker 1: And then I was like, actually, that's probably the way

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Speaker 1: it should be, but it's not what I'm accustomed to. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and now we have one of my most favorite people

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Speaker 1: on the podcast today. She's I think, pretty much everyone's

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Speaker 1: favorite person, one of everybody's She's in the top ten

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Speaker 1: of everybody's favorite person list. She is an Emmy and

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Speaker 1: Golden Globe winner, and her name is Sarah Paulson. Sarah

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Speaker 1: Paulson is here everybody, and as usual, she's already pulling

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Speaker 1: her Shenanigans.

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Speaker 4: That's correct.

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Speaker 1: She thinks we're in SeeMe Valley, which I've never been to. Actually, no,

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Speaker 1: I did, I was. I was once there. Accidentally, and

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Speaker 1: she's already had to go to the bathroom four times.

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Speaker 1: She's been here for thirty seconds. Sarah, we have a

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Speaker 1: lot to discuss. First of all, I have to ask

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Speaker 1: you question.

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Speaker 4: Hit me.

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Speaker 1: You're in a very long term, successful relationship. Sure that

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize you had met on Twitter? You two

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Speaker 1: connected on Twitter.

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Speaker 5: That's that's a little bit of a compressed Okay, can

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Speaker 5: you I don't know that it's that interesting.

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Speaker 1: Oh I bet it is. I think people are interested

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Speaker 1: in your relationship, yes, okay, why because it's people think

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Speaker 1: it's weird. Well people, it's it's not traditional, very to

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Speaker 1: be but I mean, I think people are into it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm I'm I think a lot of people. I

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Speaker 5: think all of our people are into which is all

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Speaker 5: we care about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, why we're in relationships.

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Speaker 4: Anyway, right, the public's approval?

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Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. I was on a date the other night

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Speaker 1: with a guy and all I could think to myself

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Speaker 1: was how will everyone react to this? And I was like,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing? And I was like, I wonder

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Speaker 1: how this will be seen? Because it was very it

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Speaker 1: was a non traditional date. I will say, well, you're

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Speaker 1: not going to say more about it. No, because I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to see that person again.

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Speaker 4: Oh that's okay.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't I wasn't interested, but I thought while we

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Speaker 1: were on the date, I was.

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Speaker 4: Like, oh, I know that feeling.

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Speaker 1: What if this develops into something Cobby break you down?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Yes, I'm like, oh, will I have a private relationship

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Speaker 1: or will it be a public relationship?

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Speaker 5: So essentially, Holland Taylor and I met at a dinner

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Speaker 5: party that was thrown by a friend that's for Holland

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Speaker 5: that our friend Lee rose through for Buck Henry, the

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Speaker 5: incredible screenwriter Buck Henry, who's no longer with us. And

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Speaker 5: it was a huge dinner party that I was invited to.

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Speaker 5: I was thirty years old, I guess dating someone else

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Speaker 5: that was with Cherry Jones at the time. And there

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Speaker 5: was one seat left at the table of this dinner party,

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Speaker 5: and somebody arrived late and it was miss Holland Taylor,

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Speaker 5: and she came in this sort of very what I

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Speaker 5: now know, I'm very familiar with the coat she wears

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Speaker 5: that she was wearing them that of course I didn't

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Speaker 5: know then, but now to me is a very specific

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Speaker 5: coat and this kind of drum like like hair muscled

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Speaker 5: and late and like, I like this blue and she

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Speaker 5: was like, oh god, the part, you know, it's this

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Speaker 5: whole thing and wes yeah, a little bit just like that.

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Speaker 4: Sure, yes, that was my.

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Speaker 1: Last Yeah, so okay, not racist, Peppe.

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Speaker 5: And there was one seat next to me and I thought,

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Speaker 5: oh God, please don't let I found her to be

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Speaker 5: very terrifying.

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Speaker 1: Because you had admired her.

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Speaker 4: I admired her before.

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Speaker 5: I remembered sitting in the movie theater in New York

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Speaker 5: City watching One Fine Day, and I remember her coming

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Speaker 5: on screen. She played Michelle Feifer's mother. This says a

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Speaker 5: joke we make whenever she feels unattractive. I'm like, you know,

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Speaker 5: you have played some of the most beautiful women. It's

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Speaker 5: not even up for debate. Michelle Fifer is one of

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Speaker 5: the most beautiful women to ever walk the planet. You

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Speaker 5: played her mother, like, we imagine that she we believe

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Speaker 5: that she came out.

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Speaker 4: Of your body, that you grew her, you know.

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Speaker 5: And I was like, that's something you know that I

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Speaker 5: think tells everybody you're beauty. She doesn't think that, but anyway,

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Speaker 5: I turned and I looked up and I thought, that's

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Speaker 5: the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.

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Speaker 5: I hope she doesn't sit next to me. There's not

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Speaker 5: a chair to be had for anywhere else, Like, there's

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Speaker 5: nowhere else for her to go. And she sat next

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Speaker 5: to me, proceeded to make fun of me all night long,

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Speaker 5: thirty years old, and I was on Studio sixty and

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Speaker 5: it was a show that she loved and wanted to

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Speaker 5: be on, and of course nobody was watching it, and

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Speaker 5: I just felt like a loser idiot, and you know,

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Speaker 5: I was.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like she was making fun of you,

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Speaker 1: but she was compliments looking.

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Speaker 4: At me, like how old are you? She kept saying, yeah,

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Speaker 4: oh I'm thirty, And she was like thirty. What kind

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Speaker 4: of mora? You know, Like what kind of idiot is thirty?

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Speaker 1: You know, she just like she.

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Speaker 5: Just like, great, idiot is thirty. And then you know,

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Speaker 5: and then the craziest part was at the end of

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Speaker 5: the night we walked out of that restaurant, I think

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Speaker 5: it's called Luke's on Beverly Boulevard.

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Speaker 1: There was this I'm sure it's been shut down. No,

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Speaker 1: it's there. It's still there. Oh well, shout out to everybody,

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Speaker 1: go it's great.

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Speaker 5: There was some kind of very very fancy sports car

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Speaker 5: parked out in front of the restaurant, and Alison Janny,

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Speaker 5: who's a good friend of mine, was at this dinner.

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Speaker 1: Everyone loves Janny.

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Speaker 4: And so it's me, Alison, Janny, and Holland.

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Speaker 5: And when we were leaving the restaurant, Buck Henry was like,

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Speaker 5: let me take this photo, and all three of us

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Speaker 5: piled on top of this car that was not ours,

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Speaker 5: and we like, you know, I was like, like.

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Speaker 4: My picture, it's really I'm leaning all.

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Speaker 2: The way back like such a thirty year old move.

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Speaker 5: A thirty year old move like this, And Holland's doing

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Speaker 5: something very respectful, and so is Alison, and I'm like,

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Speaker 5: h hang ten or something like that I was doing.

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Speaker 4: And Buck then sent us these pictures.

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Speaker 5: And that picture was on my refrigerator for a decade

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Speaker 5: before Holland and I got together, so her her picture

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Speaker 5: was in my house on my refrigerator. I saw it

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Speaker 5: every day. So this was the first time I met Holland.

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Speaker 5: Ten years later we met again. Did you slide into

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Speaker 5: There was that, but it was post doing a benefit

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Speaker 5: for an organization called AS four that as FODS, an

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Speaker 5: abortion rights organization that Martha Plimpton started, and we're both

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Speaker 5: friends with her, and so she asked us to make

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Speaker 5: these little, you know, ads or something to support the organization.

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Speaker 4: And we were doing it.

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Speaker 5: One after another, and we re met each other then

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Speaker 5: and then followed each other on Twitter and that's when

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Speaker 5: the DM slide happened. And then like a year later,

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Speaker 5: we went to dinner. I thought it was a date.

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Speaker 5: She did not think it was.

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Speaker 1: A date, so wud she She thought she was just

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Speaker 1: going to dinner with.

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Speaker 4: Going to dinner with another human.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And I was like, I had called my friends

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Speaker 5: just being like can I you know, I was having

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Speaker 5: that thing of like can I what will this look like?

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Speaker 5: What will people say if I go out? At that point,

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Speaker 5: Holland was I just turned forty. Holland was seventy two, And.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't realize it was so thirty two years

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Speaker 1: two years.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, wow, Holland's eighty.

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Speaker 1: Wow. It's fascinating.

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Speaker 4: It is pretty fascinating.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because it would you would it would? You know,

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Speaker 1: I've always dated older people than myself typically in relationships,

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Speaker 1: but I would think it would be hard to sustain

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Speaker 1: over a long period of.

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Speaker 4: Time to date with an older person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's always an attraction with somebody, but

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Speaker 1: for it to make it last. And I guess that's

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Speaker 1: applicable to anybody your own age. It's I guess what's sustainable,

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Speaker 1: you know.

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Speaker 5: I think the truth of the matter is the things

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Speaker 5: that are our troubles have less to do with age

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Speaker 5: and more to do with just the things that bother

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Speaker 5: you about another person when you're dating them, which are

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Speaker 5: a myriad of things that it's actually not not the

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Speaker 5: age stuff. Funnily enough, it's more like she's not a

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Speaker 5: big communicator, and I'm a big communicator. I want to

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Speaker 5: talk about everything, and she's like, I'm good, yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 5: we don't need to talk about it.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, well, I think we do. Yeah, right, Holland.

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Speaker 1: And what do you attribute to having such a successful relationship, Like,

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Speaker 1: what is it about this person with you that makes

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Speaker 1: it so successful and keeps you happy, engaged and wanting

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Speaker 1: to be there every day?

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Speaker 5: I think she's the smartest, wisest, funniest, most extraordinary person

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Speaker 5: I've ever met, So I can't imagine not being with her.

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Speaker 4: I just can't.

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Speaker 5: I just feel very, very lucky to be around someone

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Speaker 5: so incredibly witty and funny and smart, and I think

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Speaker 5: incredibly sexy. I find her to be the most beautiful woman.

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Speaker 5: I tell her all the time, like she's the most

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Speaker 5: beautiful woman I've ever seen, and she always will be.

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Speaker 1: And what does she bring out in yourself?

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Speaker 5: So I mean, this is a sort of anecdotal thing

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Speaker 5: that is sort of meaningless to anyone who isn't me, probably,

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Speaker 5: but I'm the kind of person when some thing, let's say,

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Speaker 5: I set my alarm off accidentally, my house alarm, my

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Speaker 5: first response is ago and I stay out loud. I

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Speaker 5: don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 5: I don't know what to do. I don't know what

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Speaker 5: I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. And she's

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Speaker 5: always like, you do you do know what you're doing?

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Speaker 5: You do know what you're doing? That I'm like, I do,

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Speaker 5: I do know what I'm doing? And then I remember

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Speaker 5: my code and I'm able to So that's a sort.

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Speaker 4: Of silly but a kind of.

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Speaker 5: Very specific example of a way in which she sort

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Speaker 5: of pulls me out of my tendency to be anxious

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Speaker 5: or sort of hysterical in doubting my own capabilities. And

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Speaker 5: she's sort of constantly reminding me about how capable I am.

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Speaker 1: I love that. That is a really kind of because

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Speaker 1: a lot of times in dynamics and relationships that are

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Speaker 1: unhealthy is a person trying to remind you that you

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Speaker 1: need them no, and that you need.

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Speaker 4: She's constantly say to me, why are you with me?

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Speaker 5: Why are you with me? Why are you doing this?

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Speaker 5: What are you doing? You're very strange person, she says

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Speaker 5: to me all the time, very strange that you're doing this,

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Speaker 5: And I'm like, really is it?

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: My mom tells me a story sometimes about a psychic

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Speaker 5: that she saw when I was very young, who said,

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Speaker 5: you're l this daughter is going to live a wildly

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Speaker 5: unconventional life.

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Speaker 4: Wow, And I was like, do you have her number?

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Speaker 5: I got some new questions for her, this psychic, because

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Speaker 5: it's true.

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Speaker 4: I have lived a kind of unconventional life.

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Speaker 1: Are you into psychic readings? Have you ever?

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Speaker 5: I do liked them, but then I get really nervous

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Speaker 5: about what they're going to say, and then I try

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Speaker 5: to sort of like mentally will them to say what

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Speaker 5: I want them to say, as if I have that

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Speaker 5: kind of power.

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Speaker 1: I find this to be very common. People are scared

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Speaker 1: of psychics it's like, psychics don't tell you bad things,

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Speaker 1: like that's not their business.

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Speaker 5: I know if I have a friend who's psychic, told

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Speaker 5: them something to tell me that was going on with

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Speaker 5: me that.

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Speaker 4: Was not great.

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Speaker 1: What Yeah, it's true your name specifically, like well, like.

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Speaker 5: She showed her my picture, this Russian psychic who like

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Speaker 5: reads the bottom of coffee grounds and things, and she's

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Speaker 5: this friend of mine has been going to her forever,

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Speaker 5: and she's like, she's always right.

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Speaker 4: She predicted all this stuff about the pandemic before it happened.

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Speaker 5: She was in twenty twenty, it is going to be

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Speaker 5: the year of mass death and it's going to be

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Speaker 5: this wild thing.

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Speaker 4: And we were all like, what what are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: And I better keep smoking.

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Speaker 4: Smoke whenever I am trying to communicate, Like.

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Speaker 1: Or you're driving an eighteen wheeler like you did when

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Speaker 1: you came in with your steering wheels.

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Speaker 4: I was like, when I was driving here, so ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: Now when you're on set, are you are you somebody

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Speaker 1: who second guesses your performance? Because my god, yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: because you see you strike me as someone who's constantly

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Speaker 1: second guessing herself.

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Speaker 6: I do.

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Speaker 1: And you don't really understand your own gravitas.

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Speaker 4: What is it that makes you think that, because I mean.

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Speaker 1: I've just been around you and like like you're a

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Speaker 1: little in a great way. I like it. I'm a

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Speaker 1: little what you're just like a little bit wacky. I remember,

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Speaker 1: this is the first time I met Sarah. This is

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Speaker 1: that's the first time I met Sarah. I was doing

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Speaker 1: my very first talk show, Chelsea Lately, and I got

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Speaker 1: a letter, a note from Sarah saying who do I

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Speaker 1: have to fuck to get on this show? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh god, oh no, you sent me a

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Speaker 1: video a video yes, and we played it on the show,

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Speaker 1: and then of course we had you on the show.

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Speaker 1: And that actually another very very moving thing you did.

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00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,119
Speaker 1: I thank goodness. I just remember this is. I was

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Speaker 1: in the hospital for something a couple of years ago

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00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:09,200
Speaker 1: and you sent me the sweetest DM saying I had

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Speaker 1: that heart thing that I've talked about. And she was like,

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00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,399
Speaker 1: you know, you sent me a very sweet DM and said,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm very concerned about you. Are you okay?

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00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,440
Speaker 1: I want to make sure you're okay because I don't

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Speaker 1: talk to you that often. Even though I always admire

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Speaker 1: you from Afar always, I adore you and everybody does,

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00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:29,520
Speaker 1: just so you know, in case you were wondering, everybody

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Speaker 1: loves you. Well, that's nice, So take it on set.

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Speaker 1: What is your story?

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Speaker 5: I think I'm I'm very doubtful. I don't have a

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Speaker 5: lot of confidence in my abilities. It's changing as I've

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Speaker 5: gotten older.

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Speaker 4: Do I have Chris Jenner here?

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Speaker 1: Is it like? No?

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Speaker 7: No?

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Speaker 1: I actually yes, there's a striking similarity between you and

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Speaker 1: Chris Jenner, and there always has been. That's exactly what

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Speaker 1: I was thinking when you've.

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Speaker 4: Walked sometimes I'm like, is it justin Bieber?

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Speaker 1: It's more like justin Bieber? Yeah, more like Ellen. Actually

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Speaker 1: you kind of has your giving off Ellen hare vibe.

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00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,879
Speaker 1: I mean it's a different color, but you know, I

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00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,639
Speaker 1: mean you're both lesbians. So there you go. All right,

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00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,280
Speaker 1: I guess that's all you need to have in comment. Sorry,

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00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,000
Speaker 1: I'm sorry about our guests. I didn't know she was

430
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Speaker 1: going to be such a live water two hot messes

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Speaker 1: sitting right here.

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Speaker 2: I was telling Chelsea.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I just know you from your roles,

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Speaker 3: which are all very serious, including by the way, Studio sixty.

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Speaker 2: I was the person that watched it.

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Speaker 1: You were the one person I watched Studio sixty, thank.

437
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:25,719
Speaker 4: You for watching.

438
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 2: But I you know, and doing research for this episode,

439
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,440
Speaker 2: I was like, wow, you are like a tremendous, wonderful

440
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,479
Speaker 2: goofball and I was delighted and I'm so glad it's

441
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,000
Speaker 2: paying off.

442
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,280
Speaker 4: I guess I'm wacky.

443
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 5: Yeah, you are wacky totally that like wacky, Like you're wacky.

444
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,840
Speaker 1: Onto're like, this is this shit? Wacky's great? Will you

445
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 1: to be? You want to be nice? You know what

446
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,200
Speaker 1: I hate when people say, oh, she was really nice

447
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 1: or he was nice? I go, what does that fucking mean?

448
00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:49,160
Speaker 4: Doesn't mean an nice?

449
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,439
Speaker 1: This is not a descriptor. That just is saying that

450
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 1: they're boring or that that's not being more compelling to say,

451
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,200
Speaker 1: you know, wacky's fun. That's positive. It's that beat. But

452
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,200
Speaker 1: back to your acting. Yes, I get with Ryan Murphy.

453
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 1: You do tons of stuff with Ryan, right, So how

454
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,119
Speaker 1: does he deal with you? I guess is the question.

455
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,320
Speaker 5: I think he found a way to just throw shit

456
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 5: at me that I was find challenging, just to kind

457
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 5: of keep me from combusting. I guess the harder it

458
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 5: is and the more I don't know how to do it,

459
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 5: the more excited I get. Like the Linda Trip thing

460
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,840
Speaker 5: was the thing I'm the most proud of that I've

461
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,720
Speaker 5: ever done. Nobody really watched it, and nobody really cared,

462
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:24,399
Speaker 5: which was fine.

463
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 4: But it's the greatest work I've ever done.

464
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 1: Okay, I did not watch that one. What was the

465
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 1: Linda Trip thing? I'll watch it now. I want to

466
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 1: see you, but well, I know I don't have to, kid.

467
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,120
Speaker 1: I want to see you play Linda Trip. I want

468
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: to see that physical transformation because you didn't go out

469
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 1: there with your own face.

470
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 4: It was so crazy. I did all this wild, wild wreck.

471
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,160
Speaker 1: Did you get to spend time with Monica Lewinsky?

472
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:46,640
Speaker 4: I did.

473
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 1: She's a pleasure.

474
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,240
Speaker 4: She's a pleasure.

475
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,160
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. People don't say that enough about Monica Lewinsky,

476
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 1: so I'd like to make sure we're on record saying right,

477
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,040
Speaker 1: she's great, she's fucking cool, she's fun, and she's a

478
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 1: great girl whose life could have been a disaster. That's right,

479
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 1: and it was probably for a little bit of time.

480
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 5: But now she's just as extraordinarily good hair you yeah, well,

481
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:07,120
Speaker 5: she's Jewish.

482
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 1: A lot of Jewish girls have good hair. I'm only

483
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 1: half Jewish, so that's why I'm constantly balding and I

484
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,479
Speaker 1: have no not anymore because I do this hair treatment

485
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,720
Speaker 1: called hark Lincoln. Have you heard of this no? So yeah,

486
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 1: if you can see I have like it lowers your hairline.

487
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 1: So now I have more hair than I know what

488
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: to do with because I put this treatment in twice

489
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 1: a night and it makes because I'm very fair. So

490
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 1: you know, fair hair, I guess gets their Yeah, fair hair,

491
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 1: fair hair, do care, But what do you lower?

492
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 5: A lot of people have like trelesist to get that like,

493
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 5: nobody wants it to start hair like it.

494
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 1: Has new growth that comes in lower. I know that's

495
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 1: new because women their hair. You because I'm fucking telling you.

496
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,760
Speaker 1: But I look at me, Are you look at me? Now?

497
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 4: I'm Linda Tripp Manica Monica. This is I talked when

498
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 4: I did it at this I talked about it. That's

499
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 4: how I talked. I did a different voice and everything

500
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,359
Speaker 4: with Linda. Yeah.

501
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, you're very talented. I know that for sure.

502
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 1: I was reading in your bio that you're scared of clowns, sharks, bees,

503
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 1: and many holes in the same place.

504
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 4: Tripeophobia or tripophobia.

505
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,399
Speaker 5: Like so for example, what's that game called where you

506
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 5: throw those fucking way.

507
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, the max into a hole. Yeah, like corn hole exactly.

508
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 1: I knew it was a name I don't like.

509
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 5: I don't enjoy corn hole either, But that doesn't bother

510
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 5: me because there's space between the holes. I don't like

511
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:26,399
Speaker 5: when the holes are.

512
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 1: Like what about connect for?

513
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 4: Is that of that fine?

514
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 5: That's fine because they're all the same shape. So think

515
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:32,200
Speaker 5: about like.

516
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,439
Speaker 4: A natural coral reef makes me want to vomit.

517
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 1: Oh, I see what you're saying, all of them together

518
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 1: Like wow, that is a weird thing to be or.

519
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 5: Like like if I think about it gives me the heat.

520
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: What about snakes?

521
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 4: I don't mind them.

522
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,160
Speaker 1: I like them really.

523
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 4: Oh, I've done a lot of snake work.

524
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 5: I have a picture of me with an albino Boa

525
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 5: constrictor around my neck.

526
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, yeah, I don't I'm really I

527
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 1: have a phobia.

528
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 4: Really you don't like this.

529
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 1: I don't like the flither, the movement there. I don't

530
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 1: like that they're jumping now.

531
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 4: Oh I don't know about the jumping.

532
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they're jumping. Jump. Oh there was a snake

533
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,800
Speaker 1: that's that slid across a lake and then jumped onto

534
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:12,120
Speaker 1: someone's paddle board from Nope, yeah, that jump and they

535
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 1: climb up things that you don't think that they can climb.

536
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,719
Speaker 4: I don't like that, tr but I have done some

537
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 4: acting with some snakes and I liked it.

538
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:19,640
Speaker 1: But you're scared of clowns.

539
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 4: I don't like a clown.

540
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 5: You don't meaning like a Poultergeist cloud with Poltergeist, the

541
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 5: one where there was a clown under the bed? Where

542
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,120
Speaker 5: was the one where there was a clown in the corner?

543
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 5: It was like under the bed.

544
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 1: I don't have a bad clown or like a bad clown.

545
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 4: I don't.

546
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 5: I think they're creepy. I understand the clown thing. I

547
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 5: don't like it.

548
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 1: I'm sure you playing a clown you feel Do you

549
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 1: feel like that's something that could happen?

550
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 5: I do, actually, but I just don't know why. That

551
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,679
Speaker 5: really makes me laugh. I could see you, like the

552
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,160
Speaker 5: great compliment of the day. I could see you playing

553
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:52,679
Speaker 5: a clown.

554
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,360
Speaker 1: What are you working on now? By the way, you're

555
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,440
Speaker 1: not doing anything right now.

556
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 5: I've taken it. I took a break after the Linda

557
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,880
Speaker 5: Tripp thing. It was when the hardest things I've ever

558
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 5: done was it. Yeah, I gained a lot of weight

559
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 5: and that was an interesting experience. My body didn't respond

560
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 5: well to that hormonally. Really, yeah, sort of put me

561
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 5: into prepair. Its just while from gaining the weight, from

562
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,359
Speaker 5: gaining and losing.

563
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:15,960
Speaker 4: So who's calling? Who cares?

564
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. I hate this fucking Apple Watch, you

565
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: know why? Because I don't need these alerts. All it

566
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 1: has is I can't figure out how to put it

567
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 1: on a regular there we go, can't. I can't figure

568
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 1: out how to put it on a regular time frame either,

569
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,679
Speaker 1: so that I can just see the time. All it

570
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 1: shows me is in the middle of a workout that

571
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 1: I haven't been in for like three days, and then

572
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 1: it has a compass.

573
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 4: Somebody's got to figure this out for you. Well I wait.

574
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:40,359
Speaker 1: I mean, of course somebody does, and I just haven't

575
00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 1: gotten around to it yet. But I'm walking around Manhattan yesterday,

576
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: walking along, walking along, and it just tells me north

577
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 1: by northeast. I'm like, you think I give a shit

578
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 1: about my directionals. I don't know what fucking time it is.

579
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, what were you doing in New York?

580
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 1: I was on tour. So, yeah, you guys have to

581
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 1: go to my show in October. I'm doing two nights

582
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 1: at the Pantages. All of it.

583
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:58,920
Speaker 4: I love that.

584
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 1: Okay, back to you. I'm interested in what happens to

585
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 1: the body. I find that interesting on the exterior and interior.

586
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,159
Speaker 1: So how much weight did you put on and how

587
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: did you do that?

588
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 5: I just ate a shit on a food, bad food,

589
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 5: bad food. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, And then I had

590
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 5: gained it all. And then the pen were supposed to

591
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 5: start shooting March of twenty twenty. Then the pandemic happened.

592
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 5: We didn't shoot for eight months, and then I lost

593
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 5: some of it, and then we didn't know when we

594
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 5: were shooting, and they were like, now we're going you

595
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,960
Speaker 5: need to gain it back. And so it was a

596
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 5: little bit of that, and then we shot for almost

597
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 5: eleven months, so it was like I had to maintain

598
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 5: that for a long.

599
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,439
Speaker 4: So it was almost two years. My body was like,

600
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 4: what are we doing? The new normal?

601
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: Cool?

602
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 5: But then it wasn't, and you know, it just it

603
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 5: was I think very hard on your on my hormone story.

604
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 3: I do want to jump in really quick. We have

605
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 3: a caller who is on your weight to therapy in

606
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 3: a few minutes.

607
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 5: So okay, oh oh oh, all right, forget about get

608
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 5: about my perimenopausal.

609
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to that, or we won't.

610
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that we're going to take a quick

611
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 1: break and we'll be right back to get to our

612
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,439
Speaker 1: first caller. I'm very I'm very sorry. Why about this

613
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 1: interview so far? Yeah, me too, Okay, and we're back.

614
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 2: We are back.

615
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,400
Speaker 3: We're pausing prymnopause and we're going to talk really quickly

616
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 3: to And she's thirty eight.

617
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:16,479
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea.

618
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 3: I'm living a successful, fulfilling and happy life except for

619
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 3: the fact that I'm single and haven't been in a

620
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,880
Speaker 3: long term relationship for over ten years for a plethora

621
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 3: of reasons. Last year, I moved to a small town

622
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,159
Speaker 3: in the Midwest to be close to my family and

623
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,400
Speaker 3: got an epic job as an executive chef at a nonprofit.

624
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 2: I love my job.

625
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,439
Speaker 3: I just bought a place in the city that I

626
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 3: absolutely adore, and I'm making wonderful friends here. Of course,

627
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,679
Speaker 3: I'm on the apps and I swipe daily. I flirt

628
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 3: with guys in public and have told all my people

629
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,680
Speaker 3: here that I'm in search of a man who will

630
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 3: exceed my expectations. But I've been told that I have

631
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:54,360
Speaker 3: high standards and am very picky by my friends. However,

632
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,480
Speaker 3: I just think I deserve the best and won't settle

633
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 3: for someone who does not fit my life. I need

634
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 3: advice from too strong in dependant women help. Cheers and

635
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 3: Hi ed Hi Anne, Hi.

636
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,520
Speaker 1: This is our special guest, Sarah.

637
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 6: Hi, Hi Sarah. How are you.

638
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 4: I'm very well, thank you?

639
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:10,439
Speaker 1: How are you?

640
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 6: Very nice to meet you.

641
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 4: Nice to meet you as well.

642
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 1: Well. First of all, I love having high standards. I

643
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: think that is a good thing to have in life.

644
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: But sometimes you can have high standards that preclude you

645
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 1: from being open minded and enough to let the right

646
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 1: people in.

647
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 6: Right.

648
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 7: Yes, I've been on the apps forever and those are

649
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:34,200
Speaker 7: just not a fun experience. They're good for one night ers,

650
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 7: you know, like when you want to get something fun.

651
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 4: But I like that and you want to get something fun.

652
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 7: And dating here in the area is it's pretty conservative

653
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 7: and I am not. There's not very many people like

654
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 7: me here. I mean, I've traveled the world. I've been

655
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 7: a seven continents, thirty countries. I've seen the world, and

656
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 7: I'm looking for someone that has the same quality of

657
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 7: life is me.

658
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 4: Are you at all willing to open up beyond the

659
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 4: area where you're living?

660
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 7: So I have thought about that. But I recently took

661
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 7: a job about a year ago and bought a condo,

662
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 7: so I'd like to stay here for a little bit longer.

663
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 7: I'm happy to look outside, even out of the country,

664
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 7: but I need to stay here for at least five

665
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 7: more years.

666
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 1: But you can still date somebody long distance, I think,

667
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 1: is what Sarah said.

668
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 4: What I'm wondering is.

669
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 5: Like if you widen the pool, if you know that

670
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,639
Speaker 5: where you live there's a sort of contained, like a

671
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 5: limited in terms of the possibility of meeting someone that

672
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,919
Speaker 5: shares your values or is interested in the things that

673
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 5: you're interested in. I wonder if like widening the pool

674
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 5: a little bit, it doesn't. I mean, I know many

675
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 5: people who have started relationships long distance that then you

676
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 5: make a change later when the time when it becomes

677
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 5: clear that you don't want to live without one another,

678
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 5: you become more willing to do that. But I think

679
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 5: sometimes you might have to, You might have to expand

680
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,719
Speaker 5: a little beyond what's what's right in a little radius

681
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 5: for you there.

682
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 7: Okay, Yeah, because I've looked into Chicago, which has much

683
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:05,119
Speaker 7: more of my stuff.

684
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 4: Gentlemen, Yeah, a nice style of gentlemen.

685
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 7: Where do you live in the Quad Cities, so Illinois,

686
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,199
Speaker 7: Iowa near Davenport.

687
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. I know, quad cities.

688
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 1: I've never heard that expression, but.

689
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 5: Heard the Twin Cities Illinois and Iowa, about two hours

690
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 5: west of Chicago.

691
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, So listen, you definitely need to open up

692
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,600
Speaker 1: your pool because two hours is not even long distance.

693
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,400
Speaker 1: I mean, that's like many distance I've dated guys overseas.

694
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 1: That's kind of the relationship I prefer, quite frankly, I.

695
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 6: Think I'm will too.

696
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also when you are dating somebody, I think

697
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: you need to if you have very high standards. I

698
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,719
Speaker 1: have very high standards for myself as well, and sometimes

699
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: our standards not that they shouldn't be high, they absolutely should.

700
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: But sometimes you have judgments about people that you need

701
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 1: to pare down because it limits who you're allowing yourself

702
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: to let in. And sometimes being on one date or

703
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 1: one interaction with a person is not enough.

704
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 4: I agree with this completely.

705
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 5: And I also wonder is there's some part of you

706
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 5: that is keeping it narrow in terms of what you're

707
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 5: willing or interested in because you're scared to maybe have

708
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 5: the relationship in the first place.

709
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean.

710
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 5: Sometimes we create these stories of like it has to

711
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 5: look like this, and this is what I mean. You

712
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 5: just said I have to be here for the next

713
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 5: five years, and it's like you've got all this stuff

714
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 5: kind of planned and figured out, which doesn't leave a

715
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 5: lot of elasticity or room for anyone to sort of

716
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 5: come inside that. Even mentally for yourself. It seems like

717
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 5: you've got a plan about how you want it to be,

718
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,479
Speaker 5: and that means somebody, anyone's got to come into it

719
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 5: in an exact right way or you're not interested. And

720
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 5: I feel like sometimes taking you know, it's like a

721
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 5: horse with blinders on. You got to kind of take

722
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 5: them off and just you might notice somebody near you,

723
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 5: closer to you than you may imagine, or even further away,

724
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 5: but that you kind of need to sometimes question why

725
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 5: you're making it so rigid in the first place, because

726
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 5: there may be a deeper reason why doing that. Abbit

727
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 5: that might make it a little clearer to you, you know.

728
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's super helpful.

729
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,479
Speaker 7: Yeah. I have always had very limited standards, like oh

730
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 7: I can't do that, I can't date because of.

731
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 1: X y Z, I can't do like give us some

732
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 1: examples what are the things that are deal breakers in

733
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: your mind?

734
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 6: A Republican, I support.

735
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 4: I support.

736
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:19,040
Speaker 1: I'm with you on that one.

737
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 6: So I really like a foodie.

738
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 7: I'm a chef, so having to explain what different ingredients

739
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 7: or cuisines are it's very frustrating. But I guess I

740
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 7: could open myself up to that. So, like, I get

741
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 7: a foodie would be nice, but I don't have many

742
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 7: deal breakers.

743
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,840
Speaker 1: That's okay, fine, Then let's go in the opposite direction.

744
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 1: What are the things that you're looking for?

745
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,880
Speaker 7: Trustworthy kind a foodie, someone who's traveled the world and

746
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 7: seen not maybe as many countries as me, but like

747
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 7: it's curious and open to new cultural experiences. I prefer

748
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 7: a person of color, and that's hard to find here

749
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 7: in porn Iowa.

750
00:30:56,560 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like it's going to be

751
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: a tall order for Iowa.

752
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 7: So that's why I'm like, I have looked out in Chicago,

753
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 7: but yeah, it's just.

754
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 1: Not What can I ask you? What's your work schedule? Like,

755
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: do you work during the week or do you work

756
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 1: on the weekends. What's your situation?

757
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 7: So I work during the week and I have Sunday

758
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 7: Mondays off.

759
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 1: Okay, that's a tricky night to go out to bars.

760
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 1: I guess on a Sunday night in Chicago. I was

761
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,280
Speaker 1: going to say to a lot some of your time

762
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 1: to like commit to spending a certain amount of time

763
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,239
Speaker 1: in a city where you're going to meet someone of

764
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 1: color that meets these requirements. I have no doubt there's

765
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: somebody for you in Chicago, correct, Like that is a

766
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 1: huge city filled with tons of different types of people.

767
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: So I think that if there's a way you could

768
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 1: kind of commit your time to actually actively going to

769
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: these cities and on apps are good. You know, you

770
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 1: can definitely cast a wider net in terms of like

771
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: your geographical location, but you should also spend more time

772
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: in these play two hours is not a big deal.

773
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 1: You can go spend the night there, get a cheap

774
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 1: hotel room, you know, and like go out and experience

775
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: the night life there and like go out to different restaurants,

776
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 1: go to the places that you would be attracted to,

777
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 1: or sign up for some sort of like group activity,

778
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,959
Speaker 1: like make it a two day adventure that you have

779
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 1: Sunday and Mondays off, so you're doing like something outdoorsy.

780
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: You're going to a nice restaurant, you know, just start

781
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 1: cultivating different things that that aren't available in your city,

782
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: because you have a huge advantage that a big city

783
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: like that is so close to you.

784
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 6: Right.

785
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 5: And also, maybe instead of a person who has done

786
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 5: all the traveling, what about a person who's just incredibly

787
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 5: interested in doing it, a person that you could actually

788
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 5: show some of, you know, the things you've learned and

789
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 5: you know, discovered and places that are your favorite places

790
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 5: in the world, people that might be really interested in

791
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 5: doing it who don't necessarily have to meet. You know,

792
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 5: it's a pretty rare, wonderful thing to be able to

793
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 5: have traveled as much as you have, and maybe taking

794
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:48,760
Speaker 5: a little bit of the curiosity component and the willingness

795
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 5: and desire to do it or willingness desire to learn

796
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 5: about food, and you know, it seems to me like

797
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 5: it could be more about a desire to do so

798
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,440
Speaker 5: rather than a person who already checks all of the boxes.

799
00:32:58,960 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 6: That's super helpful.

800
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,800
Speaker 1: What about anyone in your restaurant. Do you work in

801
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 1: a restaurant?

802
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 6: I do?

803
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,960
Speaker 1: What about any of the people you work with.

804
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 6: So there's a.

805
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 7: Team of four of us and we're all women.

806
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 4: Oh okay, listen, baby, let me tell you something man, we.

807
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 1: Have a lesbian here, and we have probably a potential

808
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 1: lesbian here.

809
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 5: Everybody's a lesbian. I hate to break it too, all

810
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:17,959
Speaker 5: of you.

811
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 7: I mean, if I could, I absolutely would like my

812
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:22,600
Speaker 7: front of house manager.

813
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 6: She's sexy as hell. But we both like the D, so.

814
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 1: Well, why but if you both like the D, hey

815
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: get it, get a D.

816
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 4: You can share?

817
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,479
Speaker 1: Why not? Why not? Why not experiment with her? If

818
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 1: you're both like, if that that's it? You never know?

819
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: You could?

820
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 5: You doesn't want it, but you know, and doesn't look

821
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 5: that interested. She says no with a little stinky face.

822
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 1: You can get the D. By the way, without the woman.

823
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 6: You know, that's right weight of a ban on you.

824
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know what you're talking about.

825
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 1: But that's like a fissure for it. Have you been

826
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: with men?

827
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 4: Yes?

828
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, no wonder all lesbians have been with men?

829
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: And then they come they're like, forget get married.

830
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 4: You're a great man. Yeah yeah, yeah, great man.

831
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,720
Speaker 1: Anyway, cast a wider net. Are there any other big

832
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: cities within two hours of you?

833
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 5: Besides Chicago's the US map look like it's so fun

834
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 5: to like move What happens.

835
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,320
Speaker 1: If you go left? Left?

836
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 4: Or right or down or up.

837
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 6: I can't cast a wider net. That is absolutely.

838
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, And also give people the benefit of a doubt

839
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 1: if you like, if you go on a date and

840
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,440
Speaker 1: somebody's really gross and they turn you off, fine, But

841
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: if you go on a date and it was just

842
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 1: eh and there's really nothing there that repulsed you or

843
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 1: you just found it kind of boring, I think you

844
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 1: should give those dates a second chance. Because a lot

845
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 1: of people are very nervous on their first interaction with somebody,

846
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 1: you know, So I think like you should really just

847
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,439
Speaker 1: also give yourself a break, you know what I mean.

848
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,360
Speaker 1: I think you should think about all of this moving

849
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: forward as expansion. Don't say no, open.

850
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 2: Up, Yes, wider net.

851
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 4: It goes with everything, the.

852
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 1: Widening of the legs, all of it, it comes together.

853
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry to be so crass, but you know,

854
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 1: we're all friends here, so yeah, but I mean, just

855
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,359
Speaker 1: do that, practice it and make an event out of it.

856
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: Like seriously, go to Chicago on your day's off for

857
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: like a couple times a month. Go get a hotel room,

858
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 1: go there and spend time there so that you can

859
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,920
Speaker 1: actually get FaceTime with people. You never know what the

860
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 1: fuck's gonna happen? Or how you're going to meet somebody?

861
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 6: Got it?

862
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 4: Okay?

863
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 1: Okay, report back when you do get penetration.

864
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 2: We go to therapy, go go.

865
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 1: Okay, sorry, tell your therapist. I said, what up? Okay,

866
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 1: So nice to meet you too. My friend once said

867
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: to me, she's like, your standards are so high, and

868
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 1: I go, I think they can be I said, why

869
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 1: would they be low? And she was like, well, I

870
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 1: just thank you your expectations. I'm like, but I'm I'm

871
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 1: not desperate, So if I don't have someone to meet

872
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 1: my expectations, then myself. Yeah to me, Now, I have

873
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 1: a question about being with a woman.

874
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 5: Do you You're like, that's fascinating, Well, no, it's about

875
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 5: about vagina.

876
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 1: I feel like being with a woman. I'm reading this

877
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 1: book and there's this big lesbian hot scene in this book,

878
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 1: right and they're describing this their love making, and I'm like, oh,

879
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 1: this is totally hot. Like you know, it wasn't like

880
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: I wasn't a gay person, you know, Like I remember

881
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 1: being younger and reading about things that I wasn't comfortable

882
00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: with and almost kind of like rebuffing it, being like ooh,

883
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 1: and I realized my own reaction. I was like, oh,

884
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: this is hot, and I go I think I understand.

885
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: I feel like being with another woman would make you

886
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 1: a lot less self conscious about your body issues.

887
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 4: For me, not so much.

888
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,879
Speaker 5: Still, I still because at the end of the day,

889
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 5: it's still the fundamental truth is that you're still attracted

890
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 5: to the person. You still have this normal, you know,

891
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 5: human desire to be wanted and to have everybody find

892
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,440
Speaker 5: you appealing in those moments. And just because they have

893
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 5: what you have doesn't mean that they're not or that

894
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 5: you're you know what I mean, that you're not Like.

895
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 4: Is mine weird? You know what I mean?

896
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 1: Right?

897
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 4: I always wonder if mine is weird?

898
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 1: Right, I think everyone wonders if there's is weird. But

899
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 1: I'm thinking in terms of like oh cellulate and like

900
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 1: r flab and stuff like that. Like with a man,

901
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,959
Speaker 1: I do find myself making sure my body's in check

902
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 1: like I want. And I was thinking about that when

903
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 1: I was reading this book. I was thinking, Oh, I

904
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,760
Speaker 1: wonder if that is like something that I would feel

905
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 1: with another woman, because I've been with women sexually and

906
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: I've never felt self conscious. Yeah, but in like you know,

907
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,240
Speaker 1: manajo TOOI or something not like one on one right.

908
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:27,640
Speaker 4: And you didn't feel self conscious.

909
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 1: No. I liked the liberation of it because it was

910
00:37:30,120 --> 00:37:32,799
Speaker 1: another woman's body. It's like you have this, I have this.

911
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 1: There was something very liberating about it.

912
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 4: I understand that it's just for me.

913
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 5: I think psychologically it was my body issues were just

914
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 5: bigger than that.

915
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think your issues are bigger, right in general?

916
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 1: In generally, in.

917
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 4: General issues, it's true.

918
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, moving on from that topic, Catherine, what do

919
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 1: we have next?

920
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:58,120
Speaker 3: Well, next we're going to talk to Alyssa, and Alessa

921
00:37:58,239 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 3: has a pretty tough question.

922
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 1: Try and act serious, okay for this focus hy.

923
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 2: Subject line is my best friend died?

924
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:16,520
Speaker 3: Bummer? I know, Alyssa says, Dear Chelsea. I'm thirty one

925
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 3: and I live in Little Rock, Arkansas. I'm a hairstylist

926
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,960
Speaker 3: and spent the last seven years working in a salon

927
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 3: with my best friend, my hetero life partner, my soulmate. However,

928
00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:29,320
Speaker 3: almost a year ago, she died tragically in a car accident.

929
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 2: I'm not someone who.

930
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 3: Makes friends easily or keeps friends for very long, but

931
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,480
Speaker 3: Ali was the exception to that. She was truly my person.

932
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 3: I'm struggling not only with just missing her, but miss

933
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 3: having that female friendship. I don't have any friends, and

934
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 3: I'm terrified to try and make new ones. Any advice

935
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 3: on how to make new friends and maybe some advice

936
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 3: on dealing with the loss of your very favorite person

937
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 3: on Earth, Thanks so much, Alyssa.

938
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 1: Hi, Lissa, Lissa, Hi.

939
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 4: Hi.

940
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,720
Speaker 1: We have Sarah Paulson today as you're our special guest.

941
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,879
Speaker 6: Oh my god, Hi Sarah, Hi, how are you. I'm

942
00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:04,439
Speaker 6: doing good.

943
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 5: I'm so so sorry to hear about what you're struggling with.

944
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 5: That sounds really hard you Yeah, yeah.

945
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 6: It sucks.

946
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:13,799
Speaker 1: When did this happen?

947
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 8: So? Ali died in November twenty twenty one, so it'll

948
00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:19,320
Speaker 8: be two years in November.

949
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 1: Okay, And what's your situation like with your work, your life? Like,

950
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 1: break it down for us, tell us a little bit

951
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 1: about yourself.

952
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:31,200
Speaker 8: So I work in a private studio now, so it's

953
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 8: just me by myself. I just didn't really feel like

954
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 8: I could go back to working in a salon again

955
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:40,959
Speaker 8: with other stylists, And work has been really crazy hard,

956
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 8: just because so much of our friendship was like intertwined

957
00:39:45,239 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 8: in doing hair, because we were both hair stylists and

958
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:53,759
Speaker 8: so like I'm doing okay, but it's just I literally thought, oh,

959
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 8: we're going to like grow old together, like oh, we're

960
00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 8: going to outlive our spouses and be golden girls, you know,

961
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 8: retired and lived together one day. And now I'm like, oh,

962
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 8: that's not happening, Like none of that that I had

963
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 8: in my head is happening. And then I'm like, oh,

964
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 8: I have to find a new friend, Like I have

965
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 8: to find a new best friend.

966
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 6: I don't want to do that.

967
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 8: So it's just a lot like literally my entire trajectory

968
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 8: of my life has changed. Yeah, do you have a

969
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 8: spouse longtime boyfriend?

970
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:21,760
Speaker 6: We're not married.

971
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 1: Okay, Well that's good. You have somebody, right, yes, Yeah.

972
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 8: He's super super wonderful and supportive and great, and I

973
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 8: have like a really good support system. It's just I've

974
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 8: just never been good at making friends and keeping friends,

975
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:41,560
Speaker 8: and I just felt like with Ali, it was like, oh,

976
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 8: this is my person, Like I found my person. This

977
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,680
Speaker 8: is like the one person I can say the gnarliest

978
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 8: craziest shit too, and her not I think it's like

979
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:57,280
Speaker 8: weird or crazy or anything. And it's just really difficult

980
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,399
Speaker 8: to imagine my life without that. And then also I'm

981
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 8: so terrified to try to find another best friend like that.

982
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 8: And I know, like no one's ever going to replace Ali.

983
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 4: But I don't know when you say it's hard for

984
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 4: you to keep friends, how so meaning.

985
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 6: You know, I don't know if it's my I don't

986
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 6: know if my pickers broken.

987
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 8: You know, some people pick really bad partners, and I

988
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 8: think that I don't know if I just picked really

989
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 8: shitty friends in the past, or if it's just life circumstances.

990
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 8: I just feel like every like really good close friend

991
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 8: that I've ever had has like moved away, you know,

992
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,359
Speaker 8: in childhood or something like that, or I just never

993
00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 8: got those core friendships that a lot of my friends have,

994
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 8: you know, like not close with anyone that I grew

995
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 8: up with or anything like that anymore. So I think

996
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 8: I just have a lot of anxiety about forming new friendships,

997
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 8: and so that kind of keeps me from reaching out

998
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 8: to people. And I'm like the most joke with everyone

999
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 8: all the time that I'm the most like introverted stylist, honar.

1000
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 8: I'm so good at work, you know, I can talk

1001
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 8: all day, and then if I see my clients at

1002
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 8: the grocery store, I'm like, uh.

1003
00:42:13,920 --> 00:42:15,839
Speaker 1: That's a lot of people. A lot of people feel

1004
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 1: that way, even extroverted people feel that way.

1005
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's just I don't know.

1006
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,320
Speaker 8: When you're out of that like controlled environment, it's like,

1007
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:25,840
Speaker 8: wait what, I don't know how to do this, So

1008
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 8: I've just never been very.

1009
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 6: Good at it.

1010
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, let me say one thing. You have a

1011
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 1: long term, successful romantic relationship, so you are good at relationships.

1012
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: You had a best friend forever that passed away unfortunately,

1013
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 1: which is horrifying and terrible and you will feel that

1014
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: grief for a very long time. But that is representative

1015
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:49,320
Speaker 1: of another successful relationship that you have. So this narrative

1016
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 1: that you have in your head about not being good

1017
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 1: at making friends isn't true. It's your past and it's

1018
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 1: your childhood. Like it's not even true.

1019
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 4: You weren't even who you are today then, so it's

1020
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 4: actually not applicable.

1021
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:06,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like you have this the story that you're telling yourself,

1022
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 1: and it's like, you have a long term romantic relationship

1023
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 1: who's a wonderful guy. Like that says it right there

1024
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 1: that you're good at relationships. You're probably a one on

1025
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 1: one person, You're not a group friend group person, right,

1026
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 1: Is that how you would describe yourself. So I think

1027
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:21,799
Speaker 1: you have to really you have a lot of work

1028
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 1: to do about changing that narrative for yourself, because the

1029
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,719
Speaker 1: whole world is filled with possibilities. You sequestering yourself and

1030
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:34,440
Speaker 1: working alone it's not necessarily the right move, because how

1031
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:35,879
Speaker 1: did you meet your old best friend?

1032
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 6: I've got a job a hair salon, yeah, yeah.

1033
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,680
Speaker 1: So I really think it's important to get yourself back

1034
00:43:42,719 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 1: in an environment that at least is bringing new people

1035
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:47,719
Speaker 1: in and out of your life, you know, on a

1036
00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 1: professional level. I think it is important to be in

1037
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 1: a hair salon with other stylists, with people, customers coming

1038
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: in and out all day, and setting yourself up for

1039
00:43:56,600 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: success in that way. For sure. I think work alone

1040
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 1: isn't going to be the answer. That's not how you're

1041
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:03,839
Speaker 1: going to meet somebody, you know what I mean.

1042
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 5: And it was happenstance that you walked into that salon anyway,

1043
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 5: and that that person happened to be your person, So

1044
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 5: the odds of something like that happening again are are

1045
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 5: significantly higher if you're allowing those things to happen, you know.

1046
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, And also being in an environment like a

1047
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 3: salon where you are sort of forced to be around

1048
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 3: the same people every day. You can form relationships that

1049
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:27,279
Speaker 3: are more casual and you might find someone who you

1050
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:29,359
Speaker 3: have obviously maybe not the same bond that you had

1051
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 3: with Ali, but a different and you know, successful bond

1052
00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 3: with right.

1053
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 1: And there's ways to honor your like are you in therapy?

1054
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 1: Have you been to a therapist?

1055
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 5: Yes?

1056
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 1: Okay, there are ways to honor that friendship too, you

1057
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like, you can kind of use

1058
00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 1: that friendship as a motivating factor. You can have her up,

1059
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 1: you know, a picture of her up at your what's

1060
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 1: it called your little station, right? Is that what it's

1061
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: called a station at a slant right, Like, as a

1062
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: motivating factor to remind you what a beautiful friendship that

1063
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 1: was and what you were capable of having. Yeah, and

1064
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:00,480
Speaker 1: what you're looking for again, Yeah, you don't have to

1065
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:03,640
Speaker 1: replicate that friendship. There are so many people in this

1066
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:06,800
Speaker 1: world that have value and lend value to our lives.

1067
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,760
Speaker 1: And when we kind of get narrow because of something

1068
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: that's happened to us, we don't expand we just start

1069
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 1: to shut down and we're like, oh, I trust this

1070
00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 1: person and that person and I'm not good at this

1071
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 1: I'm not good at that, And the reality is you

1072
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,360
Speaker 1: could be great at all of these things. It's just

1073
00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 1: your mindset. And I think you have to get into

1074
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:26,760
Speaker 1: a different headspace, you know, like there's a time for grieving,

1075
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 1: there's a time for reaping and sewing, like there's a

1076
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: time for you to start investing in yourself again, because

1077
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,800
Speaker 1: that's what your best friend would want for you.

1078
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1079
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 5: I think you have to make a new relationship with

1080
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 5: yourself too, in terms of being a friend to yourself

1081
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,359
Speaker 5: and doing some of this work that Chelsea's talking about,

1082
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 5: in terms of like recalibrating that narrative and don't feed

1083
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 5: that story anymore because it's actually not true. You have

1084
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 5: real proof in your life of being capable of having deep, rich,

1085
00:45:54,239 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 5: fulfilling relationships, both romantic and otherwise.

1086
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 4: So that is out there for you again too.

1087
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,120
Speaker 5: I just but I don't think it can happen in

1088
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 5: a little sliver of your society.

1089
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 7: You know.

1090
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: Does it sound like something that you can do is

1091
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:09,320
Speaker 1: go and you know, seek out a job at a salon.

1092
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 6: Honestly, I don't know.

1093
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 8: I don't know.

1094
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: I just.

1095
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 7: Hairstylists.

1096
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 8: I'm going to be brutally honest, most hairstylists are like

1097
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:22,320
Speaker 8: my least favorite type of people.

1098
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 1: I know. But think about what you're saying. You met

1099
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 1: your best friend as a hairstylist, and you're judging the

1100
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 1: rest of them like they're not gonna I know it's

1101
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 1: so stupid, But they're not all like that. They're not

1102
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 1: all that.

1103
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 8: But I think a lot of it also has to

1104
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 8: do with you know, I live in a predominantly conservative state.

1105
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 8: Lots of conservative hairstylist. Girl, he's out there, and so

1106
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 8: I love my little space and my vibe of my

1107
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,880
Speaker 8: studio because I have my own little studio and it's

1108
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:56,279
Speaker 8: like perfectly representative of me and I love it there.

1109
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,600
Speaker 8: So it'd be really hard for me to step away

1110
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:00,920
Speaker 8: from that into a salon. But I do think what

1111
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 8: you're saying is absolutely the thing that I need to do.

1112
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 8: I just don't know if I need to do it

1113
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 8: like in a work setting.

1114
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:09,400
Speaker 1: Okay, well go great. Then think of other ways that

1115
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 1: you can get out there. There's other like minded people

1116
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,360
Speaker 1: in Little Rock, Arkansas. I know it's a conservative place,

1117
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,879
Speaker 1: but you will find your people. You can find your people.

1118
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,680
Speaker 1: What about couple relationships? Do you guys have couples? You

1119
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 1: hang out with at all.

1120
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 4: Not really.

1121
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 6: My boyfriend is a thirty five year old skateboarder.

1122
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 4: So forgot.

1123
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:28,320
Speaker 1: I mean he has a job. He has Okay, what

1124
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: about in your space, in your salon space, do you

1125
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 1: have room to hire another stylist or anything like that,

1126
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 1: or do you have any employee?

1127
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 8: Probably I have been doing here for like ten years,

1128
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 8: so I have thought about taking on like an assistant

1129
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 8: or something like that to try to teach someone else

1130
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:45,800
Speaker 8: kind of just the things that I've learned, So that

1131
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 8: could be an option.

1132
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, or hiring another stylist, And that way you get

1133
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 1: to choose, Like if there is some conservative person you

1134
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 1: don't want around, then you can choose who's come in.

1135
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a nice way to meet somebody. But

1136
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 1: there are millions of other ways. You can join a

1137
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,400
Speaker 1: rock climbing group, you can like, what are you into?

1138
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 1: What do you do? Do you go hiking? Do you

1139
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 1: like to what else happens in little Rock? Is there

1140
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 1: a body of water there?

1141
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 6: There is? There are lots of bodies of water, Okay, great?

1142
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:14,400
Speaker 1: Do you like to sail? Do you like to go

1143
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 1: river rafting?

1144
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:15,800
Speaker 5: Like?

1145
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 1: There's plenty of shit where you can join clubs and

1146
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 1: I know it sounds like, oh, well, I don't need

1147
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,680
Speaker 1: to join a club to meet people. Yeah, you fucking do?

1148
00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 5: You?

1149
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 6: Literally you do.

1150
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,320
Speaker 1: You're calling us figuring out how to get a friend?

1151
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? And you have to

1152
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,280
Speaker 1: put yourself out there in ways that don't seem natural

1153
00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 1: to you in order to attract something different and attract

1154
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,800
Speaker 1: something new. Because you're capable of having a great friend,

1155
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: you're just grieving the one that you lost and you

1156
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:43,240
Speaker 1: think she's irreplaceable, which she probably is, but that doesn't

1157
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: mean there's not another great friend out there, or even

1158
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:47,799
Speaker 1: more than one great friend out there. How great would

1159
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 1: it be to find a group of girls that you

1160
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 1: actually vibe with, that believe in the same stuff you know,

1161
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:56,279
Speaker 1: and it's two or three girls like, that's a possibility too.

1162
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,359
Speaker 5: I had a therapist one time say to me when

1163
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 5: I was thinking about dating and I wasn't sure if

1164
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 5: I wanted to dat a man, I wasn't sure if

1165
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 5: I wanted to date a woman. I wasn't sure what

1166
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 5: I wanted to do. And she said to me, you know,

1167
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 5: you can't figure this out hypothetically. You can't figure it

1168
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 5: out in your living room. You have to go out

1169
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 5: into the world and have some experiences, and those experiences

1170
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:16,319
Speaker 5: are going to like direct you, you know, and you're

1171
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 5: going to get more information that's going to concretize something

1172
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 5: that you may be feeling.

1173
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 1: You know, you needize, you need to Finally, finally the

1174
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 1: clown comes up with a good word or like a

1175
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 1: book club. Are you in reading? Make it book club?

1176
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:32,879
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1177
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:34,759
Speaker 1: Book clubs are cool. At least they're going to be

1178
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:36,319
Speaker 1: smart and fucking reading.

1179
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:36,320
Speaker 5: You know.

1180
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's a good thought.

1181
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,160
Speaker 5: Should think about things that move you, that you get

1182
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:43,840
Speaker 5: excited by and seeing seeing if there's something.

1183
00:49:43,719 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 1: Or you can drive. You know, if you're into like

1184
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:47,359
Speaker 1: are you you said you don't like to be around

1185
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,800
Speaker 1: conservative people. Are you into politics? You could join like

1186
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,360
Speaker 1: a political group that like gets out the vote or

1187
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:53,239
Speaker 1: something like that, and.

1188
00:49:53,239 --> 00:49:56,400
Speaker 5: You'll automatically meet people who have more of a sensibility.

1189
00:49:56,719 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, I can do these things.

1190
00:49:58,840 --> 00:49:59,279
Speaker 5: I can do that.

1191
00:49:59,440 --> 00:49:59,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.

1192
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 3: Bottom line, you gotta treat friendship when you're looking for

1193
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 3: a friend a little bit like dating.

1194
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:07,480
Speaker 2: It's a numbers game.

1195
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 7: You know.

1196
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:08,919
Speaker 2: The more you put yourself out.

1197
00:50:08,840 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 3: There, the more individual situations you put yourself in, the

1198
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 3: more people you meet, the more likely you are to

1199
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 3: find sort of the one or the two or three.

1200
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 1: Right, there's a way for you to localize people on

1201
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,279
Speaker 1: your Instagram. Don't ask me how because I don't know,

1202
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: but it's it's a possibility to localize people, to find

1203
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 1: people in Little Rock and that way, Like when you're

1204
00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: looking at people's Instagram profiles, I think that's a great

1205
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 1: way to reach out to somebody or to date somebody

1206
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 1: because you're getting a kind of a full spectrum of

1207
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:36,840
Speaker 1: what they're into and what they're not. And that's a

1208
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 1: totally normal thing to reach out via Instagram. I have

1209
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 1: tons of friends that reach out to me via Instagram,

1210
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 1: strangers and friends.

1211
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:44,320
Speaker 4: You know that.

1212
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 1: I yeah, we did. I mean that's how I booked

1213
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: Sarah on the podcast. So, like, just think outside of

1214
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 1: your comfort zone and make some actionable like take some

1215
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 1: actionable steps where you're actually doing things that you wouldn't

1216
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 1: normally do to meet some friends that are like minded.

1217
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:05,360
Speaker 6: Okay, okay, you gotta do things and talk to people.

1218
00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:08,400
Speaker 4: You got a great voice and a great accent.

1219
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:12,239
Speaker 1: Well, and also listen, I want you to just get

1220
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:14,479
Speaker 1: up every day for the next like twenty one days

1221
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 1: and write down. I'm good at making friends. I'm so

1222
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,239
Speaker 1: grateful to have found new friends. Write it down like

1223
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 1: it's already happened. I'm so grateful for these new relationships

1224
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,040
Speaker 1: in my life. I'm grateful for this new relationship. I'm

1225
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 1: grateful to have met this new these all these new people.

1226
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 1: Just write that down for twenty one days and there

1227
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 1: will be a shift within you and you will be

1228
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:39,319
Speaker 1: more open. So will it into your life?

1229
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 4: Very good?

1230
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 1: Very good? Yeah, your sister just kidding.

1231
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 4: You seem like you change mid way through. I was like,

1232
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:47,320
Speaker 4: what's happening?

1233
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 1: Sorry that you have to witness arch A canery, but

1234
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:50,879
Speaker 1: we're both key.

1235
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 6: I'm thoroughly doing it.

1236
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:55,239
Speaker 1: But anyway, Lissa, you're gonna be fine. And I'm so

1237
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 1: sorry about your friend. I know that's devastating and grief

1238
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 1: is you know. I'm so glad you're seeing somebody to

1239
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 1: talk to about that. But just remember your bestie would

1240
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 1: want you to be happy in making friends, you know.

1241
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:08,239
Speaker 6: Yeah, for sure, you're right.

1242
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:10,359
Speaker 1: Just like anyone who loves you, they want to see

1243
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 1: you succeed.

1244
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, I can do that.

1245
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,360
Speaker 1: Okay, let us know when you make some friends.

1246
00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 3: Okay, Alissa, thanks.

1247
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,760
Speaker 1: It is true though, sometimes you have really good advice.

1248
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:28,399
Speaker 1: Oh thanks, Sonny. Isn't it true? Though? Sometimes you get

1249
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 1: such a narrative in your head about your things you've

1250
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,440
Speaker 1: done in the past, which who hasn't done things that

1251
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:36,719
Speaker 1: they've regretted, and you define the future by that or

1252
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 1: your present moment by the past behavior, And it's like

1253
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 1: everyone is capable of change and shifting.

1254
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 5: I also think the thing that sometimes helped you survive

1255
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 5: as a young person, they become the real thing that's

1256
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:50,400
Speaker 5: the hindrance to you as a grown up. It's like

1257
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 5: a little and you hold on to it because you're afraid.

1258
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 5: You only know how to function with these sort of

1259
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:57,280
Speaker 5: things in order, and sort of holding on really tightly

1260
00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:59,000
Speaker 5: to the way things used to work for yourself that

1261
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 5: when new things start happy opening, you either dig a

1262
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,320
Speaker 5: little bit deeper and you refuse to let it go,

1263
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 5: or you find a way to trust that you can

1264
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 5: make different choices that. I do think the very thing

1265
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,719
Speaker 5: that kept you safe for made you know how to

1266
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 5: function in the world, ends up being something that can

1267
00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:14,920
Speaker 5: be constraining.

1268
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Brenane Brown says that like it's your teflon, it's

1269
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 1: like your cover. That's why It's called midlife crisis because

1270
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 1: at a certain age it stops working for you, and

1271
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 1: usually around forty you're like, wait, the very thing that

1272
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:29,360
Speaker 1: made me so successful is the thing that's now making

1273
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:32,759
Speaker 1: me back. Yeah, tactly. So that is I think a

1274
00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 1: salient piece of advice as well. But I also think

1275
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 1: when we lose someone, there's a guilt in letting go

1276
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:43,320
Speaker 1: of totally and moving on, Like people get so guilty,

1277
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 1: like God, if I fall in love or if I'm

1278
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 1: happy again, this is what does this mean to her? Like, well,

1279
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 1: I was reading this book yesterday about PTSD and you know,

1280
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 1: Vietnam vets and how they can wake up with terrible nightmares,

1281
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: and it was in that body keeps the Score, Catherine, Yeah,

1282
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:03,239
Speaker 1: and patient was saying, oh, I can't be present for

1283
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 1: my family and children because that means I've deserted all

1284
00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:10,000
Speaker 1: of my that I was in war with and all

1285
00:54:10,080 --> 00:54:13,880
Speaker 1: the soldiers who fell, like I can't disappoint them and

1286
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:16,799
Speaker 1: they're gone. So instead of valuing the people who are

1287
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,360
Speaker 1: in front of you, they're still hooked on that. And

1288
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:22,320
Speaker 1: so I think that's also something to remember, to know

1289
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,399
Speaker 1: that people want you to move on with your life.

1290
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:28,279
Speaker 3: I know I when I was rereading that email after

1291
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:30,160
Speaker 3: the first time I read it, I realized is Ali

1292
00:54:30,239 --> 00:54:32,279
Speaker 3: and Alyssa. And I'm like, I'm sure they were just

1293
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 3: like two peas in a pod. But yeah, I think

1294
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:37,759
Speaker 3: that was very good advice for her. Should we take

1295
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,400
Speaker 3: a little break and wrap up?

1296
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll take a break and then I'm gonna kick

1297
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:42,880
Speaker 1: Sarah Paulson out of here?

1298
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:44,680
Speaker 4: Do you keep going? Do you do like others?

1299
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:44,920
Speaker 5: No?

1300
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 1: No, I'm wrapped for the day. This is it?

1301
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:46,919
Speaker 4: Wow?

1302
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 1: Okay, Like I said, we're gonna take a break, Okay,

1303
00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:59,759
Speaker 1: and we're back. We're back. We're back with Chelsea and

1304
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 1: saying it's already over. I don't want it to be over.

1305
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 1: Do you have one more? Do you have one more

1306
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:07,239
Speaker 1: question to throw at us? I actually do?

1307
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 2: I actually have a pretty juicy one?

1308
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 1: Oh well, why didn't you say that?

1309
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 4: How about how you were gonna let us go with

1310
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,439
Speaker 4: a juicy one on the line?

1311
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:16,319
Speaker 1: How dare you well, we'd like to wrap things up

1312
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 1: in an hour to be respectful.

1313
00:55:20,520 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 3: Well, this question comes from Ashley's.

1314
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:27,239
Speaker 4: That's a lot of alliteration today, it's a lot of alliteration.

1315
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 4: They're all A's and Alyssa and Ashley.

1316
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 1: Ashley spelled with an L E I g H. So

1317
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,799
Speaker 1: you know that's the other ones we take it from.

1318
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,400
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea, love your podcast, and boy do I have

1319
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 3: a doozy of a problem for you. I work in

1320
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 3: entertainment and run my own company. I'm forty years old

1321
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:50,040
Speaker 3: and over the years have built a niche but profitable

1322
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:53,080
Speaker 3: client list for myself. Fifteen years ago, when I was

1323
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 3: still very young and starting out, I had a flirtation

1324
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:57,880
Speaker 3: with one of my first clients, which turned into a

1325
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:02,000
Speaker 3: full fledged affair that went on for years. He was

1326
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 3: and still is married, and so was I at the time.

1327
00:56:05,719 --> 00:56:07,400
Speaker 3: This went on for so long that we both had

1328
00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 3: children with our respective partners, all while carrying on this affair.

1329
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:14,800
Speaker 3: A few years ago, I left my husband. There was

1330
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 3: no love there for a long time, no surprise given

1331
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,160
Speaker 3: what I was doing, and I just couldn't do it anymore.

1332
00:56:20,520 --> 00:56:23,839
Speaker 3: But after that situation resolved, I realized I no longer

1333
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:25,680
Speaker 3: wanted or needed the affair.

1334
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:25,879
Speaker 4: I was having.

1335
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:28,800
Speaker 3: It's as if the cloud of my toxic marriage was

1336
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 3: obscuring the fact that I had long ago fallen out

1337
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 3: of love with this other man as well, and just

1338
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:35,560
Speaker 3: hadn't realized it, so I broke it off.

1339
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:37,040
Speaker 2: Here's the problem.

1340
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:41,279
Speaker 3: He's still my biggest client, and for obvious reasons, it's

1341
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 3: gotten weird professionally. He swore he would never fire me

1342
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:47,320
Speaker 3: or go to another company because of our situation, but

1343
00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:50,880
Speaker 3: over the months he's become colder, unresponsive to calls, and

1344
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:54,200
Speaker 3: very critical of my work. I'm almost certain he's meeting

1345
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 3: with other companies while I have other clients. The loss

1346
00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:59,800
Speaker 3: of this revenue were he to fire me, would impact

1347
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:03,160
Speaker 3: my future. I'm fully aware that I've gotten myself into

1348
00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 3: this situation and this is the definition of don't shit

1349
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:08,399
Speaker 3: where you eat. But now I'm in it and I'm

1350
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:12,000
Speaker 3: losing sleep. Help thanks, Ashley, m hmmm.

1351
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 4: Trying.

1352
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:17,880
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think. I think if your motivation

1353
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 1: is listen. I understand it's financial and it's your career

1354
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 1: and your job, But I think him leaving wouldn't be

1355
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:28,160
Speaker 1: the worst thing in the world. I think that is

1356
00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 1: a bigger burden to Carrie than replacing him financially, which

1357
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 1: will happen. You will get other clients and if if

1358
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 1: the writing's on the wall, I would probably get ahead

1359
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 1: of it. If you can, if you want to, I

1360
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: mean get ahead of it. But it's not a bad thing,

1361
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 1: Like it's kind of a toxic thing in your life.

1362
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, it sounds like adding so much complication to your

1363
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 5: daily life and not sleeping and all that over something

1364
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:55,200
Speaker 5: like this. It's like, I don't know, waiting.

1365
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,160
Speaker 1: To be fired, waiting to be the worst feeling in

1366
00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 1: the world.

1367
00:57:57,720 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, and not only that, it feels like closing the

1368
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 5: door on a chapter in a real complete way to

1369
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:09,640
Speaker 5: maybe end anything where there's still a tie that is

1370
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:13,000
Speaker 5: sort of connected to how you're making a living that's

1371
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 5: got so much sort of toxic I don't know.

1372
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:20,560
Speaker 1: Did they say they're still sleeping together? Okay, yeah for sure, Yeah,

1373
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 1: I think. I mean, I don't know what the ins

1374
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 1: and outs of are like for references and stuff like that,

1375
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't rely on him for any of that anyway,

1376
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: because you already have such a history. The healthiest thing

1377
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 1: for you would definitely would be to cut ties, whatever

1378
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 1: that means financially. I think you have to have faith

1379
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 1: in the fact that you will get other clients that

1380
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:42,400
Speaker 1: will supplement that, you know, and replace his whatever income

1381
00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:45,800
Speaker 1: he's bringing into your company. But yeah, it's bad juju.

1382
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 4: I think it's bad juju.

1383
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think sometimes when you get rid of

1384
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,160
Speaker 3: that bad juju, you make space for the good things

1385
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 3: to come in, and it gets.

1386
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 4: Craze for good clients.

1387
00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, absolutely, because also it's a fear based response to

1388
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 5: want to hold on to it anyway, because she's afraid

1389
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:00,400
Speaker 5: that nothing's going to come forward.

1390
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:03,400
Speaker 4: But I think cutting that you'd be surprised to see

1391
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 4: what what what? Lands?

1392
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:08,120
Speaker 1: You smell like baby powder? Do you know that? Yeah,

1393
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 1: like a little baby, like a little bit. And I

1394
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:11,840
Speaker 1: usually don't like to smell babies, to be honest with you,

1395
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:15,680
Speaker 1: because yeah, I understand any but you smell like an

1396
00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: adult baby.

1397
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 5: I do.

1398
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's fresh clean, Yeah, my bathe, it's my perfume.

1399
00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 4: Don't ask me what it is.

1400
00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:28,400
Speaker 1: Sarah Catherine Paulson, we were so blastes were we were

1401
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:34,080
Speaker 1: we she was late. No, we were happy to have

1402
00:59:34,280 --> 00:59:37,720
Speaker 1: you today and we love you. Thank you right back.

1403
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me.

1404
00:59:39,040 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 1: Okay, shall them shall em shot bout shalom? Okay, guys,

1405
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,880
Speaker 1: we have added more shows to my Little Big Bitch tour.

1406
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 1: I added another second show in Toronto, so I have

1407
00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:52,520
Speaker 1: two shows in Toronto now to December seventh, December eighth,

1408
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 1: December ninth, I'm in Ottawa and two new shows at

1409
00:59:56,840 --> 01:00:00,320
Speaker 1: December fifteenth. On a Friday, we're doing a seventh thirty

1410
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: and ten pm show with Kevin Hart and Friends that's

1411
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 1: in Thackerville, Oklahoma. And all my other shows you can

1412
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:10,200
Speaker 1: buy tickets for at Chelseahandler dot com. I'm starting my

1413
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:14,760
Speaker 1: tour backup on September twenty ninth in New York City

1414
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:16,919
Speaker 1: at the Beacon, which is sold out, but the next

1415
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:19,520
Speaker 1: night there are tickets available in September thirtieth at the Beacon,

1416
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 1: So for all fall dates, you can go to Chelseamler

1417
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 1: dot com for tickets and you'll see me.

1418
01:00:24,400 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 4: If you'd like.

1419
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,680
Speaker 3: Advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at Dear Chelsea

1420
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com and be sure to include

1421
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 3: your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by

1422
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 3: Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure to

1423
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:39,320
Speaker 3: check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com