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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. Guys and if you

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Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more.

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Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Buggle up and

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Speaker 1: hold on tight. We got it for you here it

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Speaker 1: is Strawberry Letter. All right, Thank you enoughhew. Subject is

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Speaker 1: my wife an undercover gold Digger To Stephen Shirley. My

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Speaker 1: wife and I have been married for over fifteen years,

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Speaker 1: and we've come close to getting a divorce a few

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Speaker 1: times in the past few years over our finances. My

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Speaker 1: wife has had issues with managing money, so I don't

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Speaker 1: trust her when it comes to keeping up with our money.

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Speaker 1: We have always had separate accounts. I have a personal

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Speaker 1: savings account and I've been able to save a great

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Speaker 1: deal of money for our retirement. My wife does not

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Speaker 1: have access to this account. We have one shared account

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Speaker 1: that I put money into each month for household expenses.

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Speaker 1: I am able to track it, but I've never had

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Speaker 1: a problem with her using the money for personal needs.

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Speaker 1: We both work, but I am the main breadwinner, and

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Speaker 1: I pay all of the bills in the house. That's

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Speaker 1: the house note, both car notes, and all of the utilities.

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Speaker 1: She pays her cell phone and American Express bills. In

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Speaker 1: the past two years, she has constantly nagged me to

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Speaker 1: see bank statements and a breakdown of our finances. It

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Speaker 1: makes me uneasy and she gets upset when I tell

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Speaker 1: her is not necessary for me to share that with her.

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Speaker 1: She told me I'm too secretive and she loves to

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Speaker 1: threaten me with divorce. I'm not being secretive, It's a

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Speaker 1: trust thing, and why does she need to know all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden, I am planning to retire with her

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Speaker 1: and I want to keep her in the same lifestyle

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Speaker 1: she's used to, But I don't know if we're going

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Speaker 1: to make it. She has been sleeping in the guest

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Speaker 1: room and she refuses to have sex with me. I'm

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Speaker 1: a father, great provider, and god fearing man, but this

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Speaker 1: situation has me angry as heck. My wife won't sleep

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Speaker 1: with me unless I show her my bank statement. It

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Speaker 1: seems like, after fifteen years of marriage, my wife has

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Speaker 1: turned into a goal digger. Please help me figure this out.

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Speaker 1: Am I doing something wrong, what's up with her? Well,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I don't. I don't think you're doing

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Speaker 1: anything wrong necessarily because you got to save money. You

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Speaker 1: want to have money for your retirement, your money. Your

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Speaker 1: wife is reckless with her money and with the money,

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Speaker 1: so she is not a good person to entrust your

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Speaker 1: life savings and your retirement funds with. And if she

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Speaker 1: doesn't understand that, that's on her, not you. I think

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Speaker 1: that it's good that you guys have separate accounts. I

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Speaker 1: think it's good that you guys share an account where

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Speaker 1: and I think it's great that you put money in

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Speaker 1: it and pay all of the bills. All those are pluses.

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Speaker 1: What your wife is up to is anybody's guess. You know,

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Speaker 1: if she wants to see bank statements, because I don't know,

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Speaker 1: does she think or suspect that you're you're hiding money

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Speaker 1: from her or something? But I think, you know, in

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Speaker 1: this instance, it might be. I think it's okay for

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Speaker 1: you to sit her down and tell her this is

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Speaker 1: what's going on. You guys have been married for fifteen years.

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Speaker 1: That should garner some kind of trust in a relationship.

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Speaker 1: I mean, money is still like if not, that still

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Speaker 1: the number one is definitely in the top two of

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Speaker 1: why relationships and marriages break up because of finances, because

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Speaker 1: you know, people are reckless when it comes to money.

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Speaker 1: She has her own job. What does she need to

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Speaker 1: see it for? If you know, if you're saving and everything,

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Speaker 1: but if you guys are in a good marriage, I

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Speaker 1: think there does need to be some trust. Why don't

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Speaker 1: you want to show it to her? That that is

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Speaker 1: my question. I don't think it's necessarily because you're being

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Speaker 1: secretive or trying to hide something. You just don't want

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Speaker 1: her nagging you to get that money. You've got to

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Speaker 1: know that. You know, a lot of times wives do

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Speaker 1: go over spend. You know. That's why if you open

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Speaker 1: up the trunk right now, you'll probably find some shoeboxes

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Speaker 1: brand new shoes that she hasn't snuck in the house yet.

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Speaker 1: You know. It's kind of you know, it's kind of

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Speaker 1: just what we do, some of us. Some of us,

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Speaker 1: I mean, we do, you know. But as far as

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Speaker 1: he're not sleeping with you, that that's a bit far.

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Speaker 1: Because you won't show her the bank statements and all

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Speaker 1: of that unless she has something else planned. I think

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Speaker 1: it's really really immature of her to threaten you with

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Speaker 1: divorce because of this situation. That's not cool. I don't

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Speaker 1: think that's something you should play with. But I think

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Speaker 1: there is a communication situation going on here too. You

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Speaker 1: may not want to do it, but just show her,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe that'll calm her down and settle her

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Speaker 1: down and tell her the reasons you're doing this. You

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Speaker 1: know you want to continue her lifestyleing you're really doing

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Speaker 1: it out of love and stuff. But she's selfish more

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Speaker 1: than being a gold digger, Steve, it's my wife an

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Speaker 1: undercover gold digger. Well, y'all been married fifteen years, y'all

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Speaker 1: and came close to divorce in a couple of times.

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Speaker 1: Then you say that your wife got issues with managing money,

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Speaker 1: so I don't trust her when it comes to keeping

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Speaker 1: up with our money. There's a little confusion here. We've

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Speaker 1: always had separate account, so there were the fifteen years

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Speaker 1: you've had that. I have a personal savings account and

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Speaker 1: you've said you've been able to save a great deal

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Speaker 1: of money for our retirement and your wife ain't got

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Speaker 1: access to it. Y'all. Gotta shared the account that I

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Speaker 1: put money into for households that I'm able to track,

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Speaker 1: but I've never had And then you said, but I've

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Speaker 1: never had a problem with her using the money for

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Speaker 1: her personal needs. Well, if you've never had a problem

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Speaker 1: with her using the money for your person needs, what

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Speaker 1: was the several divorces about them? See there's a little

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Speaker 1: confusion going on here, brother, you all have come closer

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Speaker 1: getting a divorce over finances. You don't have a problem

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Speaker 1: with her using the money for personal needs? Did you say?

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Speaker 1: Ten seconds? Then we both work. I'm the main brandwinner,

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Speaker 1: and I pay all the bills in the house house

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Speaker 1: called all issuetilities, and all she paying her cell phone manage. Well,

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Speaker 1: when you make a lot of money, though, if you're

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Speaker 1: paying all that and still saved a lot of money

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Speaker 1: for y'all's retirement, and you don't have a problem with

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Speaker 1: her spending for her personal needs, I'm trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out what the damn problem is. I love him all right,

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Speaker 1: and hold that thought, Steve. We'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after be

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Speaker 1: our subject is my wife an undercovered gold digger? We'll

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Speaker 1: be back to find out right after this. You're listening,

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Speaker 1: all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry letters.

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Speaker 1: Subject is my wife an undercover gold digger? This is

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Speaker 1: kind of a confusing letter, y'all. Couse, you've been closer

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Speaker 1: getting divorce a couple of times because you don't trust

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Speaker 1: it with the money. Y'all in had separate accounts, but

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Speaker 1: you got this one account where you saved a great

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Speaker 1: deal of money for y'all's retirement. Your wife don't have

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Speaker 1: access to it. Y'all got to share the account y'all

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Speaker 1: put money into and you ain't never had a problem

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Speaker 1: with her using the money for her personal needs. If

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Speaker 1: you've never had a problem with that, why have you

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Speaker 1: all been getting a divorce? I'm confused. We both work.

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Speaker 1: You the main breadwinner. You pay all the bills in

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Speaker 1: the house. She paying her cell phone in Americans Press. Now.

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Speaker 1: In the past two years, here we go, she has

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Speaker 1: constantly nagged me to see bank statements and a breakdown

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Speaker 1: of our finances. Okay, most women want to know what's

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Speaker 1: going on in their life. Since you have this separate account,

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Speaker 1: she's asked you to see it. Now, then you are

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Speaker 1: uneasy with it, and she get upset because this is

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Speaker 1: what you told a grown woman. Now, it's not necessary

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Speaker 1: for me to share that with you. Wow, waymant doc

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Speaker 1: hold a partner. I gotta tell you something real, honest man.

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Speaker 1: You talking to a grown woman who's married to you,

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Speaker 1: and you have a separate account that she has found

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Speaker 1: out about, and you've saved a great deal of money

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Speaker 1: for retirement for you all. And she asked to see

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Speaker 1: the bank statement of the finances of y'all's life, of

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Speaker 1: which you all contribute y'all's money into this account, but

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Speaker 1: you pay the bills and then you tell her it

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Speaker 1: ain't necessary for you to share that with her. Dog

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Speaker 1: reverse this for a second. This is what This is

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Speaker 1: how Margie wins all arguments with us. She says, reverse this.

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Speaker 1: D Suppose I said that to you and then I

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Speaker 1: that's how she went all our arguments. Yeah, that's whenever.

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Speaker 1: But she only do that when I'm dead wrong. She

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Speaker 1: don't do that when she wrong. When I reverse it,

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Speaker 1: she reverse it back. She real tricky do She told

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Speaker 1: me that I'm too secretive and she loves to threaten

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Speaker 1: me with divorce. Well, dog, see you say that there's

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Speaker 1: all this money over here, but the money ain't in

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Speaker 1: her house. She trying to figure out what is it

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Speaker 1: going somewhere else and you telling hers in an account.

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Speaker 1: She says, show me the account, and you tell her

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Speaker 1: she don't need to know. And then she say you

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Speaker 1: being secret and you say, I'm not being secretive. Okay, dog,

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Speaker 1: what you want to call he said, it's a trust thing.

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Speaker 1: But dog, you're keeping a secret from your wife. So

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Speaker 1: she is right about that. You are being so secretive.

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Speaker 1: But I know when you're saying, because you don't trust

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Speaker 1: to win the money. And why does she need to

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Speaker 1: know all of a sudden, Wait a minute, hold up, dog,

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Speaker 1: what woman don't have a right to know what's going

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Speaker 1: in her life? You think if she finds out the money,

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Speaker 1: that's she gonna spend it. But you already got it

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Speaker 1: protected because she don't have access to it. So now

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Speaker 1: the fact that you won't show it to her ever,

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Speaker 1: has created a huge problem. I'm planning to retire with her.

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Speaker 1: She don't know that. See, now we got an insecurity

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Speaker 1: issue going on because you got all his money stacked

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Speaker 1: off to the side. She don't know about if she

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Speaker 1: don't know if you're gonna take it off with another woman.

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Speaker 1: She don't know if you're gonna keep it for yourself.

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Speaker 1: She don't know what it is. I'm planning to retire

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Speaker 1: with her, and I want to keep her in the

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Speaker 1: same lifestyle she's used to. Damn bro, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: hear what you're saying. You got a good heart. I

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Speaker 1: think you're phrasing it wrong to the woman, though, but

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Speaker 1: I don't know if we're gonna make it. Hold up,

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Speaker 1: So you're gonna risch your marriage of a person you

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Speaker 1: want to retire with because she think you got a secret.

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Speaker 1: You don't trust her spending. You ain't gonna show her

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Speaker 1: that account. And now she threatened you with divorce, and

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Speaker 1: now she'd have moved into the guest room. And we

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Speaker 1: ain't having sex. We're not having sex. You can read

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Speaker 1: all these papers, I wonder, hold on, hold on, We're

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Speaker 1: not having sex. Don't you know what I mean? You

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Speaker 1: know what I mean received you from the sea. This statements. Dog,

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Speaker 1: I'm a father, great profather and a god fearing man.

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Speaker 1: Stop stop bringing the Lord in this. This ain't got

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Speaker 1: nothing through the Lord. Doc. Why did the Lord tell

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Speaker 1: you to keep the secret? So that's not dragging Lord

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Speaker 1: into this. But this situation makes me angry as heck.

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Speaker 1: My wife won't sleep with me unless how I show

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Speaker 1: her my bank statements. It seems like I got it

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Speaker 1: fifteen years of manage when my wife has turned into

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Speaker 1: a gold digger doc. See you're you're attaching terms to

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Speaker 1: this woman. I understand the problem you have it. You're

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Speaker 1: saying you can't trust her with money, but you gotta

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Speaker 1: fix where she can't move the money. But now you

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Speaker 1: don't want to show his that because what's she gonna do?

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Speaker 1: You think she's gonna spend more? Who and you think

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Speaker 1: she could turn into a gold digger dog? That's been

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Speaker 1: the same woman for fifteen years. That's why y'all didn't

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Speaker 1: had a several divorces, but her threatening you with divorces

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Speaker 1: because you won't show her the paperwork, which makes her

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Speaker 1: think as a woman, something else is happening. Please help

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Speaker 1: me figure this out. Am I doing something wrong? Yes?

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Speaker 1: What's up with her? The question is who's up with y'all?

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Speaker 1: You don't trust her and she don't trust you. What

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Speaker 1: y'all man? When we are and this ain't gonna work,

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Speaker 1: partner and this really ain't got a damn thing to

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Speaker 1: do with money? Fifteen years? You don't trust her, You

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Speaker 1: can't count on her, and she thinks she won't trust you,

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Speaker 1: and she can't count on you unless y'all get real transparent,

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Speaker 1: real quick. Y'all ain't gonna make it, homie. Yeah all right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: thank you all this paperwork this evening at Steve har

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Speaker 1: over here this evening in this bed. Also l out

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast demand coming up to forty six

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Speaker 1: after the hour. Sarah, I'm going to be looking forward

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Speaker 1: to post you're listening to this Dave Harvey Morning Show