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Speaker 1: Hi, it's Ashlyn Harris. This segment is sponsored by Vital Proteins.

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Speaker 1: So what I wear is never just about esthetics. It's

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Speaker 1: about armor Before competition, it's how I actually lock in

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Speaker 1: if I feel like myself, I actually feel ready. During competition,

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Speaker 1: it disappears in the best way. I'm not thinking about it,

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Speaker 1: I'm embodying it. And after it's a part of how

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Speaker 1: I process what I just gave. Style gives me agency.

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Speaker 1: It reminds me I'm not just performing for someone else.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually showing up for myself. So for me, it

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Speaker 1: was always about moments when I leaned into who I

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Speaker 1: was instead of trying to mute it. Right colors, bold choices,

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Speaker 1: a little edge hurt, never hurt anybody but goalkeeping. Goalkeepers

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Speaker 1: already live on an island, so owning that individuality felt

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Speaker 1: liberating for me. It was my way of saying, I

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Speaker 1: belong here exactly as I am, and I'm not shrinking

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Speaker 1: to make anyone feel more comfortable. There is absolutely a

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Speaker 1: double standard when it comes to what male and female

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Speaker 1: athletes wear, and truthfully, it is exhausting. Women are constantly

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Speaker 1: being told to be strong but not too strong, expressive

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Speaker 1: but not too distracting, confident but not defiant. When women

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Speaker 1: use style as self expression, it's policed. When men do it,

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Speaker 1: it's branding. That gap tells you everything you need to know.

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Speaker 1: The issue isn't the attire, it's actually the control. When

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Speaker 1: an item like personal style is banned or regulated by

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Speaker 1: an organization, it honestly feels like you're being told your

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Speaker 1: identity is a problem, like someone is saying we want

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Speaker 1: your performance, but not you. And that actually cuts deeper

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Speaker 1: than people realize. Style isn't frivolous. It's culture, personal and emotional,

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Speaker 1: and when it's taken away, it sends the message that

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Speaker 1: conforming matters more than humanity, and I don't like that.

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Speaker 1: How does taking care of myself off the field connect

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Speaker 1: to how I present myself on the field? While everything

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Speaker 1: is connected, How I nourish my body, how I recover

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Speaker 1: the rituals I keep, Those are acts of respect. One

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Speaker 1: of the many ways I take care of my body

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Speaker 1: off the field is with vital proteins, collagen, peptides. Vital

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Speaker 1: proteins gives my body the building blocks it needs to

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Speaker 1: support my joints, and it doesn't stop there. Vital proteins,

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Speaker 1: collagen peptides also help support healthy hair, skin, and nails.

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Speaker 1: When I take care of myself off the field, I

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Speaker 1: show up more grounded, more confident, more intentional. Presentation isn't vanity,

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Speaker 1: it's alignment. When your inside and outside are in sync,

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Speaker 1: you compete differently, you move differently, and you move with

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Speaker 1: more clarity. The most important thing you play free huge

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Speaker 1: things Again into our sponsor, Vital Proteins. These statements have

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Speaker 1: not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This

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Speaker 1: product is not intended to diagnose, tree, cure or prevent

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Speaker 1: any disease. Welcome back to another episode of Wide Open.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris, and today we have a

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Speaker 1: very special guest, Catherine McCafferty. Today's conversation is funny, vulnerable,

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Speaker 1: and deeply real, the kind that reminds us we're all

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Speaker 1: just trying to figure out love, identity, and where we belong.

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Speaker 1: The comedian, writer and creator of the hit show Pretty

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Speaker 1: Gay is what you expect, pretty charming, all the things.

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Speaker 1: I love sharing space with her. She's built such a

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Speaker 1: massive following for being honest, hilario, unfiltered, and to talk

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Speaker 1: about queer dating and modern relationships, which we all love

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Speaker 1: but beyond the humor, Catherine is someone who uses storytelling

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Speaker 1: to make people feel seen, especially in the messy, beautiful

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Speaker 1: in between spaces of figuring out who you are and

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Speaker 1: how you love. We talked about dating in today's world,

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Speaker 1: embracing queerness, finding safety, and why laughter can sometimes tell

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Speaker 1: the deepest truths. This is a conversation about belonging, self, acceptance,

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Speaker 1: and learning to live honestly even when it's uncomfortable. So

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Speaker 1: settle in, everyone, let's get into it. This is Wide Open.

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Speaker 1: All right, everyone, welcome back to another episode of Wide Open.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris, and today we have the

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Speaker 1: very special guest Katherine McCafferty. Welcome to our show.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me.

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Speaker 1: I love that. I said to our as like I

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Speaker 1: have a cohostand I'm talking to and I'm throwing them

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Speaker 1: to it, like, hey, so this is your time to

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Speaker 1: join in. Welcome to our show.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely. I use we all the time. And I had

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Speaker 2: a therapist once say okay, so what's that about, And

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Speaker 2: I was like, well, maybe it's about time that we

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Speaker 2: get a new therapist.

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Speaker 1: I am obsessed. I this is my first time meeting you,

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Speaker 1: which is very unfortunate because I feel like we'd be

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Speaker 1: really close homies. And I just flew home from LA

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Speaker 1: and now I'm like, well, damn, we should have done

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Speaker 1: this in pro.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, hold on, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: So cute.

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Speaker 2: We just moved and so we don't have curtains on

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Speaker 2: all the windows.

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Speaker 1: So your dog is just watching every single person walk by.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so she just like saw something that she didn't like, but.

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Speaker 1: Probably a man. Yeah oh wait, oh sorry.

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Speaker 2: No, one hundred percent. It is like we go to

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Speaker 2: the dog park and then she picks one man to

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Speaker 2: bark at, and it's like, oh, it is always men though.

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Speaker 2: It's all like I meet so many I meet so

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Speaker 2: many dogs and they all tell me that they just

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Speaker 2: bark it mad. Yep.

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Speaker 1: Shocking, shocking, but not shocking. First off, I'm just going

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Speaker 1: to call out all of my peeps who are behind

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Speaker 1: the camera right now. Everyone's obsessed with you, like we

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Speaker 1: could have anyone on and they're like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: Catherine's here. We're peeking out about it. Like my whole

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Speaker 1: team is queer, which I'm obsessed with and clearly wouldn't

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Speaker 1: have any other way. So I'm going to call them out.

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Speaker 1: They have been really looking forward to this and it's

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Speaker 1: gotten me super excited, and I started stalking you and

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Speaker 1: doing a deep dive and now I'm like obsessed with

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Speaker 1: you too. So it's really fun amazing.

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Speaker 2: That is my goal. When people come up to me

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Speaker 2: and they go like they're like, oh, I'm so sorry

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Speaker 2: to interrupt, I'm like, no, do you think that I

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Speaker 2: do this so that people don't interrupt me? And tell

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Speaker 2: me how how wonderful I am?

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Speaker 1: I know, seriously, I've been waiting my whole life for

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Speaker 1: someone just to say something nice about me things. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: especially nowadays on the internet, you can't catch a fucking

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Speaker 1: break truly, but I have.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I am so grateful because I have a

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Speaker 2: lot of friends who are women on the internet who

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Speaker 2: ask me like, oh, how do you deal with like

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Speaker 2: the hate or you know, just like the weird comments.

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Speaker 2: But my fans are so wonderful and I think that

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Speaker 2: the algorithm obviously everything is evil, but somehow my algorithm

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Speaker 2: is doing its work and just like serving my content

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Speaker 2: to like queer people who want to say nice things

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Speaker 2: to me.

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Speaker 1: Well, I love that at least there's one of us, honey.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know, I'm out here bragging a lot

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Speaker 2: of truly. I know, I know, but I was a

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Speaker 2: woman on the internet before when I was doing stand

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Speaker 2: up and releasing clicks, and anytime I released a stand

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Speaker 2: up clip, it was like, this is why women aren't funny,

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Speaker 2: and then just like a bunch of like terrible things,

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Speaker 2: and I'd be like, Okay, well fine, I'll do my

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Speaker 2: impression of my broad to myself in my mirror. Whatever.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well we have to get into this

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Speaker 1: because you have such an incredible story, and clearly our

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Speaker 1: audience is mostly queer, or they better be, because uh

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Speaker 1: that's what we're rolling with. I don't think many people

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty six. Hello, if this administration isn't turning you gay, honey,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck is. Surely I'm like

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Speaker 1: run from everyone, mostly men. Why rich just stay inside ladies.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately, God, it is.

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Speaker 1: Such a mess. I have read your story, and for

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Speaker 1: our audience who might not know you, we'll dive into

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Speaker 1: your show pretty gay here pretty soon. But you're like

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Speaker 1: late in life coming out, So tell me a.

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Speaker 3: Little bit about who you were before the show, before

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Speaker 3: all of this, because your story is so incredible, And

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Speaker 3: did you go to school for biology?

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, so I love science.

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Speaker 1: Not only are you insanely talented, you're insanely smart, you're

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Speaker 1: insanely pretty. Like, how does it feel to have everything?

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, thank you so much for asking this is

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Speaker 2: a question.

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Speaker 1: I get all of it all the time.

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Speaker 2: No, my eyelashes are not very long, so we always

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Speaker 2: so that's sort of a plight.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, every pretty girl has one flaw. It's either they

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Speaker 1: have a really long middle toe or along ear lobe.

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Speaker 1: It's something that I.

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Speaker 2: Do have a middle town that's really long.

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Speaker 1: I told you, it's always.

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Speaker 2: It's always something that's so wild. No, I did start

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Speaker 2: out straight. I do come from the straight community. Obviously

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Speaker 2: that's not true because you're born who you are. But

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Speaker 2: it just like never occurred to me that that was

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Speaker 2: kind of on the table. And it's not because of

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Speaker 2: how I grew up. I mean, my dad was religious,

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Speaker 2: so like I did go to Catholic church, and like

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Speaker 2: I know how to say a Rosary, but who doesn't.

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Speaker 2: But so there is obviously some religious trauma there. But uh,

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Speaker 2: but then my mom, my mom and my dad were

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Speaker 2: both very accepting and nobody was like you can't be

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Speaker 2: x y and z it. Just like I wasn't around

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Speaker 2: any lesbians. It wasn't portrayed on TV. Really, we didn't

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Speaker 2: have cable, so like, I was so many yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know, just like just channels.

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Speaker 1: I get. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So then I and I always was like, well, I

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Speaker 2: had a really nice boyfriend in high school. And then

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Speaker 2: I went to college and I met some like mean

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Speaker 2: boys that I dated.

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Speaker 1: But I was like, this is like.

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Speaker 2: Fine, I'm just like mildly unhappy. And it felt like everyone.

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Speaker 4: Was mildly yeah fair, you know, like and everything felt hard,

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Speaker 4: and I was unhappy for other reasons and so like

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Speaker 4: it just didn't occur to me to look at.

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Speaker 2: And then I moved to LA and I was still

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Speaker 2: so straight, but would talk about how I just wanted

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Speaker 2: to sleep with women.

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Speaker 1: There were signs, yeah, oh no, there were so many signs.

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Speaker 2: I mean I was obsessed with like I had you know,

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Speaker 2: those friendships where I was like obsessed with her and

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Speaker 2: we'd sleep in the same.

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Speaker 1: Bed and oh honey, we all had it.

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Speaker 2: Exactly well practice kissing who cares so blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: But then my dad was in the hospital and he

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Speaker 2: passed away, and I came out like almost immediately after

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Speaker 2: that because I was just like, oh, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I just didn't want to go through life like being

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Speaker 2: mildly unhappy forever. And I felt like he had a

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Speaker 2: lot of unhappiness that he didn't get to look at.

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Speaker 2: And then at the end of his life he was like,

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Speaker 2: Oh I wish I looked at this. Wow, that's powerful though.

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Speaker 2: It just kind of came out of my pores though,

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Speaker 2: like it was, I was unable to hide it anymore,

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Speaker 2: and that was like my it was like right before

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Speaker 2: I was twenty five. I think it's like twenty four,

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Speaker 2: I think, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, how does that feel to like reflect and be

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Speaker 1: such like an iconic person people tune into about queerness,

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Speaker 1: Like when you really think about that and you rewind,

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Speaker 1: like how does it feel to fully be home and

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Speaker 1: be like truly who you are? Because it's the truth.

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Speaker 1: It's never too late. My, the person I'm with right now,

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Speaker 1: you know, like was what forty one or forty two years? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: It's like she literally says all the time, like, how

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Speaker 1: did I not see all the signs I'm home? This is?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah, it is like wild when you finally like

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Speaker 2: find it and then you go like, oh, like I

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Speaker 2: was the biggest barrier to me, like getting here, but

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Speaker 2: I got to where I needed to be, Like at

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Speaker 2: the time I was meant to get there, there was

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Speaker 2: just a lot of noise in my life before that,

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Speaker 2: So I don't know that I would have been able

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Speaker 2: to to really like accept myself. But it feels amazing now.

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Speaker 2: I'll say that there was a lot of like, oh

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Speaker 2: am I making this up? Like maybe I am just

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Speaker 2: like pretending to seem cool. Uh, just like I don't know. Like, also,

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Speaker 2: you meet some people who will challenge your queerness, uh

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Speaker 2: from whatever bag of shit they're you know, pulling alongside. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and it's never about you, but but I thought it was.

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Speaker 2: You know when I'm in my early mid twenties and

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Speaker 2: people are like, well, you just like had a bad

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Speaker 2: boyfriend And I was like, yeah, I've had a bunch

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Speaker 2: of bad boyfriends, but for whatever, but they never made

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Speaker 2: me come out, you know, like this was it was

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Speaker 2: like a me thing. It was I wasn't like with

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Speaker 2: anybody at the time. Uh. So it feels really nice

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Speaker 2: now to be able to embrace it. Have this like

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Speaker 2: internet show where I get to like go on queer

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Speaker 2: dates and it it that show was born out of

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Speaker 2: me not really going on a lot of dates because

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Speaker 2: I came out and then I immediately got partnered and

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Speaker 2: then I got engaged to that person, so we're not married.

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Speaker 1: The bad guys.

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Speaker 2: It didn't work out, But I mean I learned a lot,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't know anything about dating because like that

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Speaker 2: was my first queer partner. So I was like, whoa,

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Speaker 2: I don't know anything. I'm now single after this five

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Speaker 2: year long relationship. And my friend Samurai Shineline Carroll, they

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Speaker 2: were like, well, we want to executive produce a project

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Speaker 2: for you, and we just like brainstormed and I was like, well,

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Speaker 2: what if we sort of took the fact that I

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Speaker 2: don't know how to like gay date and we just

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Speaker 2: mind that for material.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's brilliant.

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Speaker 2: And so it was just like a ploy for me

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Speaker 2: to get better at dating.

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Speaker 1: And I am what it really? Have you really learned

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Speaker 1: a lot from it? Are you dating right now? Are

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Speaker 1: you you're out? And about what's it like to be

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Speaker 1: out in in twenty twenty six being queer? It's what

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Speaker 1: are the streets like? Tell me everything? Let me live

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Speaker 1: through you.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's it's amazing. It's interesting going into queer spaces

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Speaker 2: now because uh, people will sort of know like my

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Speaker 2: the show, and so I'm like, oh, interesting, I can't

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Speaker 2: just like be a menace to society. I have to

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Speaker 2: show up and be like above board on everything. But

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Speaker 2: I mean, as you should always. But but it feels

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Speaker 2: like awkward sometimes to be like meeting new people when

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Speaker 2: they've binged, like you on a bunch of dates with

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Speaker 2: people you know, Like it's just I don't know, people

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Speaker 2: have that parasocial relationship as I'm sure you understand. Yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 2: But it's lovely being in Los Angeles. I lived in

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Speaker 2: New York for a little bit. I'm from Chicago, so

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Speaker 2: these are all major cities, and I'm extremely privileged that

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Speaker 2: there's like a vibrant queer community. The Patreon community that

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Speaker 2: I have also is like so nice and squishy and lovely,

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Speaker 2: and people will write in and like try to connect

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Speaker 2: with one another because not everybody lives in these major

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Speaker 2: cities and so so yeah, I don't know, I guess

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Speaker 2: I don't know if that answers a question, but it's

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Speaker 2: it's lovely because of where I'm at. Yeah, yeah, and

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Speaker 2: it's cool. It's cool to have learned from some really

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Speaker 2: hot comedians how to flirt.

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Speaker 1: I know, tell me about this because I have watched

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Speaker 1: a few episodes and some of my homies have been on,

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Speaker 1: and I like, I was crawling out of my skin

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Speaker 1: a little bit. I was like, oh my god, thank god,

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Speaker 1: this is not me. I watched Shannon Beverage episode Oh

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Speaker 1: my God, and I was like, oh my god, an

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Speaker 1: a guess, I don't know, yeah, for permission? Oh are

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Speaker 1: we serious?

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Speaker 2: I know? And poor Shannon also is like so uh

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Speaker 2: genuine and so I am a little bit of a

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Speaker 2: menace on the show, depending on depending on like the

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Speaker 2: vibe you are giving out, and she's playful, so go

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Speaker 2: with it. But I watched back that episode and I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh my god. I was so like not

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Speaker 2: giving her anything, especially during the kiss, just being like whatever,

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Speaker 2: if you want to go for it, and she's like, no,

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Speaker 2: you have to tell me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she was shitting herself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So sweet, but very very sweet.

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Speaker 1: Though.

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Speaker 2: I'll always try to make sure that I'm the person

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Speaker 2: who looks like more of the clown, more of the fool,

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Speaker 2: especially if a guest is like, oh, I don't know

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Speaker 2: if I want to do that, I'll be like I'll

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Speaker 2: do it. I'll do it instead, like I'll with you

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Speaker 2: first or whatever, because one of our segments is like

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Speaker 2: pretending to flirt with one another.

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Speaker 1: I love this part of the show. And do you

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Speaker 1: carry that really with you outside when you go to date,

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Speaker 1: Like are you that same type of like confident flirt

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Speaker 1: or is that just fuck it? You're just that's a

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Speaker 1: you're playing your part on the show.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm confident when I'm on stage or in front

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Speaker 2: of a camera, and sometimes at parties, I can like

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Speaker 2: kind of like turn it on. But uh, I'll say,

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Speaker 2: like I had like these two parties last week, one

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Speaker 2: where and I didn't know if I was going to

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Speaker 2: know anybody there. I knew I would kind of know

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Speaker 2: one person at both. So the first party I walked in,

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Speaker 2: I was like very social. I was introducing myself to people.

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Speaker 2: I felt really comfortable. And then for whatever reason, second party,

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Speaker 2: I walk in and I'm like, oh, I have to

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Speaker 2: go hide in the bathroom. Oh my god, I thought

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Speaker 2: I have to hide in the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I do the same thing.

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Speaker 2: It's like, so I don't know, it's dependent I guess

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Speaker 2: on like what kind of day I had, the atmosphere

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Speaker 2: of the party, Like if one person gives me one

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Speaker 2: kind of look that I perceive as like, oh no,

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Speaker 2: my hair's out of place or something like it's so

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Speaker 2: silly because nobody's actually paying attention to you at a party,

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Speaker 2: like and how freeing? What again?

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Speaker 1: Yeah exactly?

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Speaker 2: But yeah, so it's really like hit or mis son.

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Speaker 2: If I show up like with confidence or not, well.

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Speaker 1: That's that's fair. I mean I I because I would

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Speaker 1: not have guessed that. I gotta be honest. I thought

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Speaker 1: you were like that funny, you know, person working the

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Speaker 1: room and like just have like this little sass ablurt

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Speaker 1: to you that makes everyone laugh and it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: to warm a hug.

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Speaker 2: But sometimes and then sometimes I'm like reading a book,

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Speaker 2: pulling my hair. Literally, I'm list like, but I'll I'm

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Speaker 2: fine being silent in the corner observing the party. And

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Speaker 2: that's I think what makes people sort of be like, oh, like,

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Speaker 2: who really are you? Because I can really be both.

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Speaker 2: I can be sort of a social butterfly or I'm fine.

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Speaker 2: I'm fine showing up alone and like sitting in the

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Speaker 2: corner and then deciding, you know, who does look friendly?

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Speaker 2: But I'm going to be more reserved before I approach anybody.

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Speaker 1: Well, now that you have this show and it seems

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Speaker 1: like you're an expert at it, what what advice would

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Speaker 1: you give people who are coming out later in life, Like,

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Speaker 1: what would you what advice would you give them in

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Speaker 1: dating and flirting how to like approach the situation because

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of people out there still just like

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Speaker 1: in the closet, honey, especially lately, it's like fear fear, fear, fear, fear.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I think that it's so scary to maybe

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Speaker 2: even question your sexuality and then not explore it. It'd

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Speaker 2: be like, well, but that's not for me, you know,

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Speaker 2: until I know no, you're not gonna like yes. I

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Speaker 2: think some people are really self like assured, and those

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Speaker 2: people probably come out earlier. But you can just be out.

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Speaker 2: You can just be out and about, like you don't

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Speaker 2: have to put a label on it if you don't

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Speaker 2: want to. And if that doesn't feel safe, you can

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Speaker 2: go to a queer event. You can hang out by

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Speaker 2: the bathroom and compliment one person's outfit and usually somebody's

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Speaker 2: gonna like take that compliment and start a conversation with you.

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Speaker 2: That's how I like would go to queer events when

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Speaker 2: I was going alone, Like when I wouldn't like invite

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Speaker 2: a friend or anything, I would just wear something that

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Speaker 2: made me feel really confident. I would hang out in

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Speaker 2: the bathroom. I would compliment one person and if that's

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Speaker 2: the only thing I did, great, I went home. I

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Speaker 2: was like, cool, I did it. But I do think

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Speaker 2: you have to make sure that you feel safe. You

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Speaker 2: should try to have a community, which could just be

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Speaker 2: one person, just to one person how you feel and

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Speaker 2: then just see what the reception is because more likely

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Speaker 2: than not, like it's so scary inside, but once you

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Speaker 2: say it out loud, it's like, oh, that's like not

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Speaker 2: gonna kill me.

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Speaker 1: Exactly. I mean, just watch Heated Rivalry. It'll really help

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Speaker 1: you get out of your shell. I mean exactly, just

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Speaker 1: do that. Just do you want to advice?

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Speaker 2: Watch Heated Rivalry? Watch Heated Rivalry. Become a hockey player.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, have an ass, juice, ass and abs. I

395
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Speaker 1: am not even kidding you. Do you want to hear?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't believe I'm telling you this.

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Speaker 1: That's okay. So my partner last night just finished finally

398
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,919
Speaker 1: Heated Rivalry. Like, hello, welcome to the party, Sophia. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: I was like, thinking hmm, because she's always like the

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00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,159
Speaker 1: spicy one in the relationship. Oh. I got online and

401
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: I was like, jockstrap. I got a chick jock strap, Like, oh.

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Speaker 3: Sexy ass out like the you know, like the old school.

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Speaker 2: Old hot jock hot. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So when she gets home, she's not going to listen

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Speaker 1: to this podcast. She gets home, she's gonna see me

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Speaker 1: in that hot assless jock strap, and she's going to

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Speaker 1: fucking lose her mind, or at least she better and

408
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Speaker 1: my ad, she's lousing it, but.

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Speaker 2: She's absolutly really going to lose her mind.

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Speaker 1: I saw those juicy booties and I was like, I

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Speaker 1: got one of those. I need to like.

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Speaker 2: Position Also, if you just like sort of highlight it,

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Speaker 2: like yeah, you know, if you're wearing sort of anything

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Speaker 2: like that, like even just a strap on, I feel

415
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 2: like usually highlights it. And I'm like totally okay, like

416
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Speaker 2: absolutely from the front, you're wearing something that we're gonna use.

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Speaker 2: But turn around, I love this.

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Speaker 1: This is so good. She's gonna be so pissed at me.

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Speaker 1: I can't stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment.

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Speaker 1: After this brief message from our sponsors, for someone who

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Speaker 1: has a lot of history with both men and women

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Speaker 1: like I, because like I have, I haven't been on

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Speaker 1: a date with a man in over twenty years. So

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, well, what do you think is the

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Speaker 1: biggest difference between queer dating and heteronormative like dating culture?

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Speaker 1: Like I need to know everything, So like if you

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Speaker 1: were to sit down and go on a date with

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Speaker 1: the chica, like what are we experiencing there? Because I

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Speaker 1: have thoughts compared to what we are if we're sitting

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Speaker 1: next to like a dingbat, yeah, I.

431
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 2: Mean a man, Oh totally me just immediately answering.

432
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 1: I.

433
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,840
Speaker 2: I just think we're speaking a different language. And some

434
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 2: people are down for that divide, and uh that's like

435
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 2: exciting for them. I'm talking about straight people and they liked,

436
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 2: you know, to I think that they know how to

437
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 2: connect to that different language, but I just never did.

438
00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 2: I just was like, oh, we just will never have

439
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 2: anything in common. And I guess we just like have

440
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 2: sex and I'll be there, like I don't know it.

441
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 2: It wasn't though, Like I probably had like a couple

442
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 2: experiences though with guys that I was like, oh, this

443
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:58,159
Speaker 2: is cool, but we were still weren't. We still just

444
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 2: weren't on the same page because as we were cultured differently.

445
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,640
Speaker 2: And I think that people can absolutely do the work

446
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 2: to like look at that. And I have a few

447
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 2: men in my life, uh believe it or not, they exist,

448
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 2: and they've done the work to.

449
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: Kind of.

450
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 2: Examine their own masculinity and the patriarchy and what their

451
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 2: part is and what their privilege is and all of that,

452
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 2: and then done the work to really try to understand

453
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 2: and hear where women or non binary or queer people

454
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 2: in general are coming from and like and then like

455
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 2: what that story is and what they those people deal

456
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 2: with on a daily basis. Like, if you really do

457
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 2: that work, I do think you have a more similar

458
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,880
Speaker 2: language across you know, across the way from somebody who's

459
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 2: a different gender than you. But I also do think

460
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 2: that in the queer community, we still have to look

461
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 2: at that we still are a part of the patriarchy.

462
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 2: So there. I have absolutely been on dates with gorgeous

463
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 2: women who say wild things like okay, but you don't

464
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:15,360
Speaker 2: look gay, and I'm like, know how offensive that is?

465
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 2: Like do you know that that actually is why I

466
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 2: didn't come out for so long? And the answer is like,

467
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,200
Speaker 2: ha ha ha, that was a joke, and it's like, no,

468
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 2: it actually wasn't a joke. You were hoping that I

469
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 2: would have a different reaction, but it wasn't a joke.

470
00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 2: You were hoping I would take it more lightly. And

471
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 2: I'm just not a light person. I really, I'm just.

472
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: Not well, I know, And I think you just nailed

473
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 1: on that, and I'd love to talk more about it,

474
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: because I do think it is. It is something unfortunately,

475
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: very beautiful queer women get faced with. Is like if

476
00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: you're feminine in your you know, you enjoy high heels

477
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: and beautiful you know, clothing and makeup and doing your

478
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 1: hair like as you should, it's somehow you're not gay

479
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: enough or not gay enough passing. And we're still being

480
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: faced with these type of like barriers that we have

481
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 1: to act or look, we have to be a little

482
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: more butchy, We've got to be this that, And it's

483
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 1: like everything is so critical when it comes to women.

484
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 1: This is designed for a reason. This is how we

485
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 1: place women in boxes, period. So I'm curious, like how

486
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: that was for you coming out being such a feminine,

487
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: beautiful woman and everyone being like, ah, you're not gay enough.

488
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it was. It was something that made

489
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 2: me question my own queerness. But at the same time,

490
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 2: I think that was also like an age thing because

491
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 2: I wasn't like I was still coming into like my

492
00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 2: body and my mind, and so I was very easy influenced,

493
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 2: especially by the older queer community, which is why like

494
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 2: now stepping into more of like I'm the older queer community.

495
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 2: I do think it's important that we don't perpetuate that

496
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: language and that everyone has the room to explore as

497
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:20,680
Speaker 2: long as they're doing it in a way where they

498
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 2: understand like how much space they're taking up and how

499
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 2: much they're giving back to the community. I still think

500
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 2: that's important. I've never not known like what my privilege

501
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 2: is walking into a room. I do have the privilege

502
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 2: of walking into a room and having people assume something

503
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 2: about me and then treat me differently based on that assumption.

504
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 2: And then the darker side of that is that a

505
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,640
Speaker 2: man could ask me out and has before, and then

506
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 2: when I say that I don't date men, they become violent,

507
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:57,080
Speaker 2: and it's because I look like a pretty thing that

508
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 2: should want to be with him. So oh wow, I

509
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 2: think that's like a double edged sword and we're all

510
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 2: like carrying a bag of shit, and it's like just

511
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:11,360
Speaker 2: so uncomfortable when you're like looking at your queer sibling

512
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,840
Speaker 2: and you're both carrying a bag of shit and they're like, well,

513
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 2: your shit isn't heavy enough, and you're like, Okay, I

514
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 2: don't want to win the Trauma Olympics.

515
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: No, and how about you shouldn't want to win either,

516
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: exactly like the scars are the badge of honor. No,

517
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 1: thank you.

518
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 2: Let me know, just both we could just both like

519
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 2: help each other. And it is also obviously a tool

520
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 2: of mainstream society to keep us fighting each other so

521
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 2: that we don't fight, you know, the powers that be.

522
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 2: So I think once we realized that and we're more

523
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 2: settled in the community. But I did have to prove

524
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,680
Speaker 2: myself and and that was fine because I had the

525
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 2: time and I had the energy.

526
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: I love this. You're literally preparing for battle earning your stripes.

527
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 1: Yeah are you? Are you on the dating apps?

528
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 2: No? No, no, I wouldn't do that.

529
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: We're not a dating app kind of goal.

530
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 2: I will say that when I have been on the

531
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 2: dating apps, my friends have looked at the way that

532
00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 2: I have a conversation and they're like, have you ever

533
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 2: had sex before? And the answer is.

534
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, okay, so thank you.

535
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, just to dispell those rumors.

536
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 1: You heard it here first, everyone does hut the record straight.

537
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:45,720
Speaker 2: I have had sex, but I just like don't even

538
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 2: though I'm somebody who like came up through stand up

539
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 2: and like is somebody who talks for a living trying

540
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 2: to connect with like a joke that maybe you need

541
00:32:56,000 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 2: to say with your mouth via word like it gets

542
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 2: lost in translation, and like trying to do like a

543
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 2: weird obscure bit with somebody, it just doesn't really translate.

544
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 1: I just don't want to be like abducted, Like I'm okay,

545
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: I watch too many murder shows, oh for sure.

546
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 2: But if you don't date men, you are less likely

547
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 2: to be murdered.

548
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,239
Speaker 1: Well that's always a good we'll keep that in our

549
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 1: back pocket. Being queer, I'm into that. We'll take the

550
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 1: wins when we can.

551
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 2: You're more likely, like if you go back to somebody's place,

552
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 2: you should go back to their place versus your place,

553
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 2: because you're more likely to get killed at your place

554
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 2: because it's clean up reasons.

555
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 1: Isn't it scary that we know these statistics and staff

556
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:49,960
Speaker 1: it's wild up. Men will never understand.

557
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 2: Now a lot of them truly won't. But I don't

558
00:33:55,320 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 2: know whatever, I don't it's I don't talk to them.

559
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 1: No exactly. I've that was a twenty year old dated

560
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 1: buried six feet under. What do you consider is like

561
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 1: an absolute red flag and dating? Like I'll share. I

562
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 1: am like anytime I see someone in flip flops, I'm like,

563
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 1: they're serial killer.

564
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 2: So are you not into toes in general? Like?

565
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 1: Why because I've said two toe comments so.

566
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 2: Far are just like, you know, a lot of people

567
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: have feet stuff, but some people just like really don't

568
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 2: want to see like bear toes unless they're like in love.

569
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: I shower three times a day. I wash my hands excessively.

570
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 1: Oh I'm nuts. Like my partner is always like like,

571
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 1: you can't be that dirty like you. It's just something

572
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,919
Speaker 1: I like to clean. I'm I'm like, you can't even

573
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,800
Speaker 1: be comfortable at my house the second like an empty

574
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:02,320
Speaker 1: cup like or half a little halfway full, like it's gone.

575
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: She already cleaned it. It's gone wiped. See if someone

576
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 1: goes back to their it's gone. I just like to clean.

577
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 1: It's like something about my anxiety that like keeps me

578
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 1: distracted from like maybe social settings. I don't know what

579
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 1: it is, but.

580
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 2: I mean having a task at a party. Oh my god,

581
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 2: assign me something I don't have to.

582
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: Be at my I don't even have to be at

583
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,880
Speaker 1: my own house. I'm taking out the trash, I'm cleaning up,

584
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 1: unloading the dishwasher, I'm doing it all. Bye.

585
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think that that is the biggest gift that

586
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 2: you give somebody. Though at a party is a job,

587
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 2: so I don't know. And listen, people come to my parties,

588
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,720
Speaker 2: they love it. I put them immediately to work.

589
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,520
Speaker 1: I would be such a good friend. You need me, Okay,

590
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 1: But back to what I was asking, what is your

591
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,840
Speaker 1: red flag? Toes are not? I will say I have

592
00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 1: never put feet in my mouth, so it's definitely not

593
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 1: my kink.

594
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 2: Okay, totally. I mean I've had I've had a foot

595
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: in my mouth before, but that's was more for the

596
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 2: other person. And I was like, oh, this isn't for me,

597
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 2: But if this is for you, I'll try. Honestly, your

598
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 2: face and it's hilarious, but I'll try anything once, I

599
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:14,399
Speaker 2: truly will.

600
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 1: I just wonder if people actually wash their feet.

601
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: Well, that's a whole thing about like white people don't

602
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 2: wash their legs or their feet.

603
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:27,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am like on one foot scrubbing between the

604
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:31,359
Speaker 1: toesies like I don't know. I've showered with a few

605
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 1: peeps and some don't wash their feet.

606
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 2: I know.

607
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,359
Speaker 1: And I've been in the locker room for a long

608
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 1: time and I'm I'm judging, I'm staring, and I'm judging.

609
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, as you should. I think everyone needs to be

610
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 2: judged just a little bit. But what's a red flag

611
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 2: for me? I think I think that I have a couple.

612
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 2: If somebody makes future plans with me, like in a

613
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 2: sort of a long term but abstract way, on the

614
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 2: first date, it's a big red flag. It feels too intimate.

615
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 1: No you, Hauleen for you.

616
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:10,000
Speaker 2: No, no, no, And I don't want somebody to be like.

617
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: This is so it's so specific.

618
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 2: But and I'm sure it comes from like me just

619
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 2: being like a little bit more reserved then I come

620
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 2: off on the internet. But people will say like, oh,

621
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 2: my aunt has like a boat, and if we go

622
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:29,479
Speaker 2: out like now in February, my aunt has a boat,

623
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 2: I would love to take you on it. In June

624
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:35,640
Speaker 2: she does this like big sort of party to me,

625
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 2: I have to leave.

626
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:40,399
Speaker 1: It's a nut.

627
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 2: Well, it's just like if if this is our first date,

628
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 2: you're making plans in June, I feel like you don't

629
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 2: know me, and so to me that means that this

630
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 2: is like how you are on dates. You've made this

631
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 2: plan with many girls. It's just too familiar. I don't

632
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 2: want somebody act like they know me or what my

633
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 2: plans are in June.

634
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:10,919
Speaker 1: That's I honestly totally fair. And yeah, I like when

635
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: you go on dates, are you usually the one asking

636
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 1: people out or people asking you out? Like what is

637
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 1: your vibe? Or you just kind of like split in

638
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,760
Speaker 1: the middle. Yeah, I think it's.

639
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 2: A little fifty to fifty. I mean to be honest, like,

640
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 2: I get I've gotten asked out through Instagram by people

641
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 2: who I'm like, oh interesting, like ooh who I sort

642
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 2: of know but don't like have never met met. Yeah,

643
00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:43,919
Speaker 2: uh so I've gone out with those people. I have

644
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:48,479
Speaker 2: absolutely made moves as well, like yeah, some of these

645
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 2: really cute and we're like out, I'll I'll like buy

646
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 2: them a drink and then see if they want to kiss.

647
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,520
Speaker 1: Okay, so we move quick. It's like here's a drink,

648
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: now put your lips on mine. Thank you.

649
00:39:01,239 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 2: I'll absolutely kiss anybody.

650
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,320
Speaker 1: We've watched your show. We know, honey.

651
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm like, don't pretend like you know who

652
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 2: I am. But I will make out with you.

653
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 1: But that is true, Like, don't tip me with a

654
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 1: good time, like.

655
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 2: We can kiss, but don't like, don't act familiar.

656
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't ask me for plans outside of this night.

657
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it. I just want your

658
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: lips on mine, thank you, and your feet in my mouth. Okay, No,

659
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 1: we cannot start that.

660
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 2: It was one time.

661
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 1: Okay, fine, Okay, listen, listen. Okay, ideally, are you a

662
00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 1: girl that likes to have coffee for the first date

663
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,399
Speaker 1: because you want to figure out, like if they're worth

664
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 1: your time to be at a dinner because like there's

665
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: no escaping that. Are you a drinks? Are you a dinner?

666
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:56,560
Speaker 1: Are you a long walk?

667
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 2: Where I say there is escaping everything you can always leave,

668
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:06,719
Speaker 2: I mean even a dinner, Like I don't know, Oh, I.

669
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 1: Break the storm, I break the storm. I will stay.

670
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:14,160
Speaker 2: I will have a truly eight hour date with somebody

671
00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,240
Speaker 2: that I despise, But that's because I like that story.

672
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 2: But if you really want to leave a place and

673
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:26,239
Speaker 2: you are at dinner for yourself by giving them a

674
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 2: story like say, oh, you know what, I really have

675
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 2: to go. I'm so sorry I have to go and

676
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 2: then leave, and then they have a gorgeous story to

677
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 2: tell their friends. And yes, you are the villain, but

678
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,279
Speaker 2: you should be the villain in some people's narratives.

679
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 1: Oh have to be Yeah, not always yeah, but also not.

680
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 1: Everyone deserves the best of you. You get what you like.

681
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 1: Are putting out too, Like I'm meeting you where your

682
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 1: energy is, like lying right now?

683
00:40:57,480 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's where we're at. Yeah, well so I will.

684
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:08,240
Speaker 2: I'll do drinks. I guess I'll do coffee, but typically

685
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 2: during the day. I The thing is, I don't want

686
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 2: to go get coffee on a weekend because I want

687
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:19,839
Speaker 2: to hang out with my friends and I don't want

688
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 2: to get coffee super early in the morning with somebody.

689
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 2: I guess I'll do like an I would. I've done

690
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 2: afternoon coffee before. But I'm totally fine with grabbing like

691
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 2: a cocktail.

692
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 1: Mmmm, okay, what's your Tell me what your cocktail is?

693
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 1: What's your cocktail? What should drink? A choice? I love

694
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 1: a wine bar, me too. I'm a wine gurly.

695
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 2: I like a wine. I also I'll do a dirty martini.

696
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 2: I'll do a margarita. Those are my two go tos.

697
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, okay, we're more similar.

698
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:55,360
Speaker 2: You know.

699
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: If I'm really vibing, I'll, you know, I'll like, like

700
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 1: in a little espresso martini if you all like proper

701
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,120
Speaker 1: gives me a little kickstart.

702
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 2: I drink around six shots of espresso a day, So

703
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 2: if I have an Espresso Martinia in the evening, like,

704
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 2: something is gonna go wrong.

705
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 1: Like it's what, what do you mean something's gonna go wrong?

706
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:23,760
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's either that I am gonna act

707
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 2: like I am on some kind of controlled substance or

708
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 2: and I do feel like doing six shots of espress

709
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 2: when people are like, this is why you have stomach problems,

710
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,160
Speaker 2: but shut up, it's not. It isn't and I won't

711
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 2: hear it. I have I have a autoimmune disease, so

712
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 2: it's not because of the coffee. But going on that,

713
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 2: like if I drink more coffee at night, like I'm

714
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 2: gonna have to leave the party and use the bathroom.

715
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: Oh god, that's what we're talking about. Okay, Well, at

716
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,800
Speaker 1: least things are moving.

717
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, We're never not talking about that with me. I'm

718
00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 2: so sorry.

719
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:11,319
Speaker 1: No, same. I am like, I there, listen, this is

720
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 1: wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris. Thanks for listening.

721
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. You can talk about anything with me.

722
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:26,680
Speaker 1: Nothing is disturbing at all. I am like, you know,

723
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 1: I have my ag ones in the morning, my bone broth,

724
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 1: and my coffee, and I'm a regular gal. She just

725
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 1: has to have her routine.

726
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:36,240
Speaker 2: That's great. I am not regular, but it is because

727
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 2: I have colitis. So like that's where the autum immune

728
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 2: disease comes down.

729
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 1: So is do we when we date and we go

730
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 1: on dates, do we have to be really mindful of

731
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 1: what we're ordering?

732
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:49,160
Speaker 2: So I'm silliac as well.

733
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, so so no one's ordering for you, like, let

734
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: me order for the dayable. That's not you. You're not

735
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 1: doing that. You're like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm particular.

736
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 2: Also again, that to me is somebody who's being very familiar.

737
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: Ooh, I hate it. I gotta be honest. I didn't

738
00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:08,799
Speaker 1: even think of it till it came out of my mouth.

739
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 1: It could be a red flag for me.

740
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just like, don't assume what I want to eat?

741
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 1: Thank you.

742
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,400
Speaker 2: I don't even know what I want to eat. Yeah, exactly,

743
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:21,600
Speaker 2: Let's call my mom.

744
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 1: I have a voice, let me use it. Thank you.

745
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 1: I don't need anyone ordering for me.

746
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just I don't know. Somebody on a second

747
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:34,800
Speaker 2: date told me that they don't want to be fed,

748
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,920
Speaker 2: like they were like, Hey, I just want to get

749
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 2: ahead of this. My big red flag is somebody feeding me.

750
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 2: And I started laughing because I was like, Oh, are

751
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 2: you under the impression that I'm going to try to

752
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:54,680
Speaker 2: feed you on this second date? And they were like, yeah,

753
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 2: I just didn't want to, Like, I just don't. It's

754
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,720
Speaker 2: just a huge ick for me. I was like, oh, totally,

755
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 2: I would never do that.

756
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love this.

757
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 2: But obviously that had happened to them on like an

758
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:11,799
Speaker 2: early date, like otherwise, why bring it up? It was

759
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 2: so funny.

760
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: Do you have when you talk about like all of

761
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 1: these different funny like situations. Do you have a fun

762
00:45:22,040 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 1: like girls group chat? Because I just feel like I

763
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 1: need to know someone. The only way I can know

764
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,840
Speaker 1: someone is have an eye in their group chat.

765
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so I am especially when I have a crush,

766
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:35,880
Speaker 2: which currently.

767
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 1: Tell spill the beans spilling.

768
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:42,359
Speaker 2: I don't talk publicly really on it. I don't talk

769
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:45,720
Speaker 2: publicly in real time about who I'm dating.

770
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,960
Speaker 1: Well, we don't have to talk about who you're dating.

771
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,280
Speaker 1: But are we crushing?

772
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:55,320
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, yeah yeah, so just sort of the

773
00:45:55,360 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 2: prettiest princess in the world. But uh, I will I'll

774
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:05,439
Speaker 2: send text messages that are like, Okay, well, she said

775
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:08,240
Speaker 2: she wants to see me again, smiley face?

776
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 1: What do you think that's about? What is that?

777
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,359
Speaker 2: Most people are like, well, it sounds like she wants

778
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 2: to see you again, But then other mentally unwell people

779
00:46:18,600 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 2: who are also in my group chat will be like, Okay,

780
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 2: does she normally use a smiley face or does she

781
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 2: use a heart? Because those two things are different, And

782
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 2: I'm like and thank you. So that's sort of what

783
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 2: I'm doing in the group chat. I'm like taking screenshots,

784
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:38,359
Speaker 2: but for the purposes of sort of trying to understand

785
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:42,440
Speaker 2: like the social context of texting and to get people's

786
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 2: opinion on like, hey, should I spin out about the

787
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,440
Speaker 2: fact that she put a period here? And then people

788
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 2: are like, oh, probably not, no, does she usually use punctuation?

789
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,880
Speaker 2: And I'm like yeah, but it's not an exclamation point,

790
00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 2: and it's like, okay, so those types of things are

791
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 2: going on in the group chat, along with just sort

792
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,919
Speaker 2: of like random facts that I've learned during the day.

793
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 1: I love this for you. I'm I'm knee deep in conspiracy,

794
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 1: so I'm like the opposite, okay, and there's so much

795
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,800
Speaker 1: going on in the world, and there's so many conspiracies.

796
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: It's it's wild, and it's all day. I have like

797
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 1: literally I'm on this podcast for an hour, and I

798
00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 1: guarantee you my Nancy Conspiracy Theory group chat or my

799
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 1: Epstein Files one is popping the fuck off. I probably

800
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 1: have one hundred and fifty. I mean, I just I'm

801
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:43,640
Speaker 1: trying to we are trying to solve these crimes. Yes,

802
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 1: because women. If women aren't going to do it, who

803
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: the fuck is? It's nobody, true, nobody.

804
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:55,279
Speaker 2: But but does that make you feel more grounded and

805
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 2: like because it sounds like like then you feel more

806
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,800
Speaker 2: in control if you're like trying to solve something.

807
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, does that make.

808
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 2: You feel safer? I guess like with these crazy things

809
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 2: happening in the world, I don't know.

810
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 1: That's a great question. I should probably reflect about it

811
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 1: because this could be why I'm not sleeping. Last night,

812
00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 1: I was up till three o'clock and I'm like, why

813
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 1: am I not sleeping? Well, it could be the group chats.

814
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: It's the conspiracies that I'm trying to solve in my head.

815
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:27,320
Speaker 1: I can't sleep.

816
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,760
Speaker 2: I know. I was all start very late, like trying,

817
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 2: like looking at the news. But then I was like,

818
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 2: I'll soothe myself and I'll watch a show about murder.

819
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 1: Same, same, same. I was on Deep in Hulu. The

820
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:43,799
Speaker 1: Girl on the Run was for me last night.

821
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I turned on I think it was something

822
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:51,000
Speaker 2: on Netflix about serial killers that were like out like

823
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 2: that were somehow like loose in the world.

824
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:54,720
Speaker 1: Great.

825
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:57,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then I was like, why am I doing this?

826
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 2: I don't have any.

827
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 1: Curtains, literally sleeping with one eye open.

828
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, stop this.

829
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I agree with you.

830
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 2: I don't have a lot of group chats that are

831
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 2: like that. But my mom will send me like random

832
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 2: terrible things that are happening in the news, along with

833
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:21,360
Speaker 2: just because she's so distraught, along with her plans to

834
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 2: buy like a French villa and like live abroad.

835
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 1: I love this. I love this. I mean, I will

836
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 1: say I haven't searched Zillow like I have in the

837
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 1: last probably year now to find homes abroad. I'm like,

838
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 1: someone take me, yeah, anyone, I'll go anywhere, just like

839
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:50,840
Speaker 1: like literally my algorithm is like people are willing to

840
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: pay for you to come live in their village, like

841
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:57,120
Speaker 1: twist my arm. At this point, I'm not ready to.

842
00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 2: Get out those programs, but I'm sure having sort of

843
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 2: a stable family is keeping you here.

844
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, seriously, that too, thank thank goodness. And my family

845
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 1: checks every box. So I'm like every day I'm like,

846
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:16,640
Speaker 1: what's now? So here we are? I do have like

847
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:20,040
Speaker 1: now that we're finally we have the you know, the

848
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 1: Chinese New Year. We ended the Year of the Snake.

849
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 1: We're riding into the Year of the Horse. Like what

850
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 1: are you calling in? Like so much is going on

851
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 1: in your life, Like we have this new little battie

852
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 1: cutie crush, don't know who, uh, but what are you

853
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:40,360
Speaker 1: calling in for yourself right now?

854
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,879
Speaker 2: Well, I will say that I've always been like very

855
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 2: career focused, so I like with pretty gay kind of

856
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:57,280
Speaker 2: like getting this recognition and this like pop or whatever

857
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 2: it was. It was definitely not the past that I

858
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 2: thought I would be on. I mean, I moved to

859
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:07,800
Speaker 2: Los Angeles to pursue acting, and then I started doing

860
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 2: stand up because I love attention, and and then obviously

861
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 2: like Pretty Gay came about and that's now been my career,

862
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 2: which has been amazing. But I have really been looking

863
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:27,359
Speaker 2: at like the next thing, and like what is the

864
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:31,720
Speaker 2: next thing? And like what's the next thing? And building

865
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 2: like the Pretty Gay empire in the Pretty Gay universe,

866
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 2: but also like who's Catherine outside of that? And how

867
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:42,879
Speaker 2: do I show people who I am? So I've been

868
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 2: trying to call in just like the answer to I

869
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 2: think that question because as people maybe this is how

870
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 2: you feel, but as people who talk and put a

871
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 2: lot of content online or just like out there, and

872
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:02,399
Speaker 2: people think that they know you, and people think they

873
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:06,000
Speaker 2: know me through Pretty Gay. But I'm or my stand

874
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 2: up but I'm very controlled in what I.

875
00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:09,839
Speaker 1: Share, so.

876
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:15,279
Speaker 2: I don't want to lose that, but I do want

877
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:18,840
Speaker 2: people to know like a little bit more of like

878
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:24,640
Speaker 2: who I am and my dreams and aspirations outside of Yeah.

879
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 2: So I think I'm just finding the next chapter of

880
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 2: storytelling well can while continuing to build Pretty Gay.

881
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 1: That's amazing, And I like to always kind of ask this,

882
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:41,200
Speaker 1: especially someone who's lived so many transformations at this point

883
00:52:41,280 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 1: in your life, Like, what does living wide open mean

884
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:45,320
Speaker 1: to you right now?

885
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 2: I think it means, uh, doing hard work, but following

886
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 2: the path of least resistance in my own like personal life.

887
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 2: I think like being very like specific about like what

888
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 2: you want can be beautiful, but it can also be limiting.

889
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 2: So trying to like sort of let go of that

890
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:18,799
Speaker 2: narrative of like it has to go this way has

891
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:23,920
Speaker 2: been more freeing. It's opened up more brain space for

892
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 2: me to be involved in, like my community more so

893
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:30,760
Speaker 2: to me, that's living wide open is just like investing

894
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:34,279
Speaker 2: in my community and letting go of like the specific

895
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 2: way that I want things to go.

896
00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 1: I love that. That's so beautiful. And thank you for sharing,

897
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:44,400
Speaker 1: and thank you for being on Wide Open. And for

898
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 1: all of our listeners out there or anyone watching, go

899
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:52,400
Speaker 1: check out Catherine show Pretty Gay. It is so good.

900
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 1: You said it's on Patreon, yes, and you have and

901
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,720
Speaker 1: you have such a great queer community, So for everyone

902
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 1: out there, please go check it out. And is there

903
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 1: anything else you would like to say to our guest

904
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 1: anything you're working on, go follow you like here, oh here,

905
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:10,320
Speaker 1: is the moment.

906
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think absolutely follow me online you can. I mean,

907
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 2: I'm not a good business woman, so my socials are

908
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 2: just Catherine underscore Macalfe, which is like so silly. But

909
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:27,680
Speaker 2: then also I just like do think that it is

910
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 2: a time where people feel very overwhelmed with like what

911
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:34,239
Speaker 2: to do and maybe even paralyzed by the news. But

912
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 2: if you don't know like what to do, but you

913
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:41,200
Speaker 2: do have time, a great website to go to is

914
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 2: five Calls, and that's an organization that will list like

915
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 2: the issues that are of the day that we need

916
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 2: to be calling our reps about. And if you sort

917
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:54,279
Speaker 2: of roll your eyes and you go like, well, they're

918
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 2: not going to do anything because historically, like they're they're

919
00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:00,560
Speaker 2: not fighting for us really, but it is an a year,

920
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 2: so they want to keep their jobs, so calling does matter.

921
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:08,200
Speaker 2: And then if you have money, if you want to

922
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:13,440
Speaker 2: give money to somewhere, the National Immigration Law Center helps

923
00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 2: with legal defense funds for immigrants and then reuniting families

924
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,040
Speaker 2: that have been separated by the unethical practices of ICE.

925
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:25,240
Speaker 2: And then the Transgender Law Center is a great way

926
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 2: to support our queer siblings.

927
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:30,880
Speaker 1: I love that and our voice matters so much, and

928
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 1: I appreciate you doing the show and doing the things

929
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:38,879
Speaker 1: that you do to celebrate queer joy like that's truly it.

930
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 1: And at the beginning of the show, you spoke about

931
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:45,400
Speaker 1: coming out later in life because you didn't get to

932
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:49,040
Speaker 1: see people like you, and I think you're changing that

933
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 1: landscape and the diversity of the people you choose to

934
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 1: be on that show matters, and the things that you

935
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 1: talk about really really matters, and having microphones and platforms

936
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 1: is to speak on the right side of change matters.

937
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:05,840
Speaker 1: So thank you for doing that and showing up the

938
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:11,319
Speaker 1: way you do and giving this younger generation perspective of

939
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 1: what possibility like it's just endless. We can be anyone,

940
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 1: we can be anyone, and we can be celebrated for

941
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: that and we don't have to be scared. So lean in,

942
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 1: my little gay babies. We are here for you, Yes,

943
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:32,840
Speaker 1: for here. There's a warm hug. But thank you so much, Catherine.

944
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 1: You are such a dream, and.

945
00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me.

946
00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:39,520
Speaker 1: This is of course, of course, and I hope we

947
00:56:39,560 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 1: get to hang out soon.

948
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:41,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, now we know.

949
00:56:41,719 --> 00:56:45,239
Speaker 1: Each other exactly. Now our next date, I'm gonna know

950
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,000
Speaker 1: the douth and they don't.

951
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 2: Exactly okay, yeah, okay, no flip flops, and don't make

952
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:51,799
Speaker 2: future plans.

953
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 1: With me exactly, and don't put your feet on the table,

954
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,960
Speaker 1: no feet, no feat play, no never. Well, you're such

955
00:56:58,960 --> 00:57:01,719
Speaker 1: a sweetheart. Thank you so much. Everyone goes check out

956
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 1: pretty gay and that's wide open. And thank you for

957
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:09,560
Speaker 1: being so vulnerable and authentic. You're the best. Thank you,

958
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 1: and you make me laugh. I need fucksay, I talk

959
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 1: so much. No, you don't. You're perfect just the way

960
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 1: you are. I mean, you're perfect, all right, everyone. I

961
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 1: hope you enjoyed today's show as much as I did.

962
00:57:24,080 --> 00:57:27,400
Speaker 1: I laughed my little tushy off, and I learned a

963
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 1: little bit about queer dating. Catherine really reminds us that

964
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 1: authenticity isn't always easy, but it is so freeing, whether

965
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 1: you're navigating dating identity or simply learning how to show

966
00:57:41,640 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 1: up as ourselves. Her honesty and humor makes space for

967
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 1: all of us to feel a little more seen and

968
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: a little more less alone. Let's just say, if this

969
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 1: episode resonated with you, share it with someone who might

970
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:58,160
Speaker 1: be needing it today. As always, thank you for being here,

971
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:00,440
Speaker 1: thank you for being wide open, and I'll see you

972
00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 1: next week. Wide Open with Ashland Harris is an iHeart

973
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:20,920
Speaker 1: women's sports production. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app,

974
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Our producers

975
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:31,200
Speaker 1: are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff, and Lucy Jones. Production

976
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 1: assistants from Malia Aguidello. Our executive producers are Jesse Katz,

977
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:41,520
Speaker 1: Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan

978
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:46,880
Speaker 1: and Emily Rudder and I'm your host Ashlyn Harris