1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:00,720
Speaker 1: This is John.

2
00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,560
Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and we.

3
00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:06,840
Speaker 1: Have some rockin stories for you coming up.

4
00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,639
Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

5
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,360
Speaker 2: got a quick tuminute ad break from a sponsors, keeping

6
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,520
Speaker 2: the show rocking and rolling.

7
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,440
Speaker 1: I changed my mind about being a surrogate for my sister.

8
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:18,840
Speaker 1: She didn't take it.

9
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,680
Speaker 3: Well, Oh, what stage in the process did we change

10
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,400
Speaker 3: our minds here?

11
00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:23,800
Speaker 4: That's my question.

12
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,240
Speaker 1: That's a very good question. Years ago, my sister found

13
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,840
Speaker 1: out that she would not be able to carry children

14
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:32,920
Speaker 1: traditionally and that her eggs would likely not be viable.

15
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,440
Speaker 1: She had complications and everything had to be removed. This

16
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,720
Speaker 1: is when she was twenty two, and she was absolutely

17
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:39,960
Speaker 1: devastated by the way this comes from. I'm sorry, but

18
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,600
Speaker 1: I can't And if you want to submit your own stories,

19
00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,920
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay Storytime subbured. So, my

20
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,400
Speaker 1: sister has always been very nurturing and loves children. We

21
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,640
Speaker 1: were the best of friends growing up and we were

22
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:54,120
Speaker 1: still very close until this happened. At the time, and

23
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,760
Speaker 1: now I am child free. So I told my sister

24
00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,480
Speaker 1: that it was okay because I would definitely donate my

25
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,520
Speaker 1: eggs and if I could surrogate for her, I would,

26
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,959
Speaker 1: and I really did mean it. I wasn't just saying

27
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,920
Speaker 1: it to make her feel better. Because I love my

28
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,280
Speaker 1: sister and seeing her in such pain and thinking she

29
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,520
Speaker 1: was less of a person because of it devastated me too.

30
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,520
Speaker 1: I wanted to help her in any way I could.

31
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:15,800
Speaker 1: We pinky swore, a thing we did as kids when

32
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,559
Speaker 1: we really meant something op dropping pinky swear lore. Yeah,

33
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,560
Speaker 1: we pinky swore. And she felt a lot better knowing

34
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,440
Speaker 1: she could have a child that was genetically very similar

35
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,000
Speaker 1: to her, and we do look very much alike people

36
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,400
Speaker 1: cause twins all the time. She got married two years

37
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,800
Speaker 1: ago to a man who knew about her situation, but

38
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,119
Speaker 1: I guess also knew about the promise I had made.

39
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,520
Speaker 1: He very much wanted children to but they are both

40
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,800
Speaker 1: against adopting because they want a child as genetically close

41
00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,440
Speaker 1: to them and looking like them as possible. They are

42
00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,399
Speaker 1: afraid of hidden health issues in a child unrelated to them.

43
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,120
Speaker 1: I didn't know she told her husband about my promise,

44
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,160
Speaker 1: and though I hadn't forgotten about it, because she reminds

45
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 1: me every once in a while, it wasn't something I

46
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,360
Speaker 1: thought about often. Because I was living my own life. Well,

47
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,800
Speaker 1: about a month ago, she and her husband came to

48
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,240
Speaker 1: me and told me they're ready to have their baby

49
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,480
Speaker 1: and it's time for me to make good on my promise.

50
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:09,120
Speaker 3: Oh wow, Yeah, I feel like timing really should be

51
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,920
Speaker 3: something that ope should be consulted with about. You know,

52
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,880
Speaker 3: I feel like they can't just be like, at any second,

53
00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,440
Speaker 3: now you can be pregnant, right because I say so.

54
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,359
Speaker 1: Right where it's like remember your pinky swear, it's time

55
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,880
Speaker 1: for you to get pregnant. Right, It's like, all right,

56
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:26,040
Speaker 1: let's at least discuss timelines, discuss you know, which maybe

57
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:30,240
Speaker 1: they are I don't know, but that phrasing, it's time

58
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,279
Speaker 1: for me to make good on my promise. Yeah, you

59
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,000
Speaker 1: you have one part where it's like yeah, that's gross.

60
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,000
Speaker 1: But then also it's like making that commitment as op,

61
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,600
Speaker 1: like making that commitment to your sister being like, yeah,

62
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,000
Speaker 1: I will surrogate for you and you can use my eggs.

63
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:43,720
Speaker 4: Yeah.

64
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you might not have realized at the time necessarily

65
00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:51,000
Speaker 1: how big of a commitment that is true, you know, Yeah,

66
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,920
Speaker 1: and I know this shit she says, she meant it,

67
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,720
Speaker 1: but it's like still, well, yeah, now theoretically it's time

68
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,320
Speaker 1: to get pregnant.

69
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:57,200
Speaker 4: Hard to imagine.

70
00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:01,519
Speaker 1: So I reacted with utter surprise because I felt like

71
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,959
Speaker 1: they sort of ambushed me and gave me no notice

72
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,280
Speaker 1: to be okay with it. But she just said I've

73
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,480
Speaker 1: had more than five years to be okay with it.

74
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,600
Speaker 1: I guess because I was surprised, I didn't say I

75
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,640
Speaker 1: needed to think about it or anything. I just flat

76
00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:15,520
Speaker 1: out said, no, I don't think I can do that.

77
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,840
Speaker 1: I explained to her that now I am in graduate

78
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:20,280
Speaker 1: school and working at a job I really like that

79
00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,080
Speaker 1: I just started and will have a career. I can't

80
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,840
Speaker 1: be pregnant for the next nine months, and most places

81
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,240
Speaker 1: will not agree since I have no children. I'm also

82
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,360
Speaker 1: in a relationship with a man I really love. I've

83
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,560
Speaker 1: talked to him about this, and he feels a bit

84
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,920
Speaker 1: weird about it the way I do having a child

85
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,920
Speaker 1: that is biologically my child with my brother in law

86
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,320
Speaker 1: who we always have to see, and see the child

87
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,040
Speaker 1: very often too. Over the years, I've just decided don't

88
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,840
Speaker 1: feel right with the child that is biologically mine in

89
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,560
Speaker 1: the world. I guess it might be different if I

90
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,600
Speaker 1: never have to see the child, but it'll be my

91
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,440
Speaker 1: son or daughter running around, and my sister has already

92
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,280
Speaker 1: very adamantly said that she will tell the child about

93
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,440
Speaker 1: what I did for them and how they're lucky, when

94
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,120
Speaker 1: I do not want that at all. I don't know

95
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,600
Speaker 1: if it's gonna be hot day. I've been full of

96
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,800
Speaker 1: them today, Opie. The moment you started feeling this, you

97
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:08,320
Speaker 1: needed to bring it to your sister, the instant that

98
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,800
Speaker 1: you realized.

99
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would not do that, Yeah, that would be smart.

100
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:15,160
Speaker 1: You needed to bring it up. She also maybe wants

101
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,039
Speaker 1: more than one kid, and obviously I would have to

102
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,240
Speaker 1: be the surrogate for all of them because they will

103
00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,040
Speaker 1: not have children that have different mothers.

104
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:26,320
Speaker 3: What is this that's a lot to put on on.

105
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:27,120
Speaker 4: Ope.

106
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, she also maybe wants more than one kid, and

107
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,240
Speaker 1: obviously I would have to be the surrogate of all

108
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,080
Speaker 1: of them because they will not have children that have

109
00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,400
Speaker 1: different mothers. On top of that, I am sensitive to medication.

110
00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,839
Speaker 1: I don't want to be on fertility substances. And even

111
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,320
Speaker 1: without all these reasons, I just feel like this is

112
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:46,880
Speaker 1: not something I want. These are all very selfish reasons,

113
00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,839
Speaker 1: I know, especially considering the gift I would be giving

114
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,120
Speaker 1: my sister of a child, the thing she wants more

115
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,359
Speaker 1: than anything. She called me later in tears, yelling, saying

116
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,760
Speaker 1: that I'm a liar and that to go back on

117
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,040
Speaker 1: my word and leave her child list just because I

118
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,760
Speaker 1: want that life makes me the worst kind of person.

119
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:07,200
Speaker 3: That is so unfair. It's really, yeah, that is so unfair.

120
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,040
Speaker 3: This is not her fault at all, and.

121
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,320
Speaker 4: There are so many other options, Like come on, that

122
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:14,080
Speaker 4: is so unfair.

123
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,080
Speaker 1: You know, your sister's devastated. You're like, I'm let me

124
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,000
Speaker 1: help you. OP didn't realize the at the Maybe at

125
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,919
Speaker 1: the time, if OP had done it right, then maybe

126
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:25,280
Speaker 1: it works. Fast forward, you know, several years, have a decade. Now,

127
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,960
Speaker 1: she's starting a career, she's got a boyfriend. You know,

128
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,280
Speaker 1: it's like it's just not gonna's not feasible anymore, right.

129
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,479
Speaker 3: I mean the timing I feel like comes into play

130
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,440
Speaker 3: a lot because again, like you said, like she's got

131
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,640
Speaker 3: this job going for her, she's like in school or

132
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:40,880
Speaker 3: graduating or something like that.

133
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:41,919
Speaker 1: She's in graduate school.

134
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so so it's like now school starting a career, gotcha. Yeah,

135
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,320
Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, well maybe someday I would love to

136
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,240
Speaker 3: or maybe, like you know, when I learn more about it,

137
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:53,960
Speaker 3: or when I'm mentally ready then like maybe maybe then

138
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,560
Speaker 3: I could still do it eventually, but right now now

139
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,800
Speaker 3: had a great time for me and my.

140
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,839
Speaker 4: Body, you know, external organs.

141
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,640
Speaker 1: It's a hard spot. I'm rock in a hard place

142
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,680
Speaker 1: type situation. I cried too and told her that's not

143
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,320
Speaker 1: why at all, and try to explain my reasons again,

144
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,840
Speaker 1: but she just said her husband will divorce her over this,

145
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,560
Speaker 1: and could I live with that?

146
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,520
Speaker 4: Oh, that's crazy tripping.

147
00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,719
Speaker 1: Her husband's a nice guy, but he's always wanted kids

148
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,000
Speaker 1: and this has always been in their relationship, so I

149
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,320
Speaker 1: can see how he would divorce over this. She's not

150
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,640
Speaker 1: just making threats. Honestly, I can't live with that, and

151
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,080
Speaker 1: she knows that. I know how badly this hurts her,

152
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,040
Speaker 1: and it hurts me too, but I just don't think

153
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,880
Speaker 1: I can do it. Later that week, my mother called

154
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,279
Speaker 1: to yell at me too. My cousins and aunts have

155
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,640
Speaker 1: said on Facebook that it's my body, but making these

156
00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,720
Speaker 1: choices is selfish and I'm really hurting my sister. They

157
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,040
Speaker 1: don't want to be involved, but they do not agree

158
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,559
Speaker 1: with me. My mother said I am not her daughter

159
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,520
Speaker 1: if I continue to behave this way and hurt my sister.

160
00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,159
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, that's crazy.

161
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,960
Speaker 1: You're literally like your whole life would go on pause

162
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,880
Speaker 1: for a year. You're starting a career, you're trying to

163
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,880
Speaker 1: finish grad school, you're in your own relationship.

164
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, come on, man.

165
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,520
Speaker 1: My dad has been understanding of my points, but he

166
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,839
Speaker 1: doesn't want to live in a family divided, so he

167
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,360
Speaker 1: tells people to leave me alone, but will also not

168
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,040
Speaker 1: fight with my mom, who is way more aggressive than

169
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:14,960
Speaker 1: he is. It's been this way for the whole month,

170
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:18,040
Speaker 1: with my sister ignoring me, except sometimes when she messages

171
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,480
Speaker 1: me or calls me to be angry. My brother in

172
00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:22,880
Speaker 1: law has messaged me, and my mom calls me daily

173
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,000
Speaker 1: to tell me that she did not raise me like this,

174
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,200
Speaker 1: and that her children know that giving your word is

175
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,400
Speaker 1: the most important thing, and that following through on your

176
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,320
Speaker 1: promise is the biggest deal then, bigger than everything else,

177
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,440
Speaker 1: and that it is a comparatively small sacrifice for what

178
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:36,880
Speaker 1: I would be giving to my sister.

179
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:37,440
Speaker 3: Girl.

180
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,720
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's toxic. Not I mean, keeping your

181
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,320
Speaker 1: word is one thing, but I think we're talking about

182
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,080
Speaker 1: this like it's like, you know, you said you'd go

183
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,880
Speaker 1: with her to the East Coast. Yeah, it's like this

184
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:53,080
Speaker 1: is being pregnant for nine months, yes, and then having

185
00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,000
Speaker 1: to see the kid all the time and feeling weird,

186
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,080
Speaker 1: like now you didn't.

187
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,280
Speaker 3: Know if your postpartument, not even being able to have

188
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:02,480
Speaker 3: your child. Some people we pass away during pregnancy, Like

189
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,320
Speaker 3: that is not a small sacrifice. Yeah.

190
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,200
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people will say it's your body,

191
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,960
Speaker 1: so do whatever, But it's not that simple to my family,

192
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,320
Speaker 1: and I don't want to lose all of them. Well,

193
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,400
Speaker 1: they're all going to lose you, not the other way around.

194
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,120
Speaker 1: I love them and my sister, and I know it's

195
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,360
Speaker 1: crappy to be mean to me, but it's also kind

196
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,800
Speaker 1: of crappy of me to go break my promise her true.

197
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,840
Speaker 1: Thank god, OPM so glad that you just own that. Yeah,

198
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,920
Speaker 1: how do I help them understand? Or should I just

199
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,320
Speaker 1: do it? I'm really confused and unsure right now? And

200
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,160
Speaker 1: there's an edit to add. This is not the first

201
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:35,360
Speaker 1: time I've mentioned to my sister my reservations or told her.

202
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,239
Speaker 1: As my life changes, this becomes more and more impossible

203
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:38,480
Speaker 1: to do.

204
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:39,839
Speaker 4: Wait a second.

205
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,640
Speaker 1: She has also changed her mind many times about whether

206
00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,079
Speaker 1: she could love a child that isn't hers. She has

207
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:48,480
Speaker 1: decided that she is happy being without a child. She

208
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,480
Speaker 1: has talked about how painful it would be seeing a

209
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,600
Speaker 1: child that isn't hers with her husband, and not only

210
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,680
Speaker 1: isn't hers, but is her sister's. I have okay, I

211
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,720
Speaker 1: have been very open about how I feel along the way,

212
00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,199
Speaker 1: and nothing in my post was there's new information to her.

213
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,760
Speaker 1: Jes it probably has never happened all at once in

214
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,319
Speaker 1: that explosion before. I feel like she is somewhat ignoring

215
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,959
Speaker 1: a lot of our conversations over the past several years

216
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,960
Speaker 1: and just fixating on what I said when we were

217
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,400
Speaker 1: going through this when we were twenty and twenty two

218
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,440
Speaker 1: years old. But I also understand that because I know

219
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,080
Speaker 1: she's in so much pain, and she is right. I

220
00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:23,360
Speaker 1: did make that promise, and I made that promised in earnest.

221
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,040
Speaker 1: I meant it. People should keep their word when they promise.

222
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,920
Speaker 1: But for people who are saying that I was not

223
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:30,000
Speaker 1: honest and never told her how I felt, that is

224
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,160
Speaker 1: just not true. I've told her how I feel every

225
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,080
Speaker 1: time she's asked me, and every time I've told the truth.

226
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:38,240
Speaker 1: There's an update. Okay, Now I'm fully firmly in the camp,

227
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,160
Speaker 1: if you do not need to do this, Okay, not

228
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:40,600
Speaker 1: at all.

229
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,920
Speaker 4: Big info revealed there.

230
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,600
Speaker 1: I've been in that camp this whole time, but I

231
00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:46,800
Speaker 1: was just yeah, in the degree of like, what you

232
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,560
Speaker 1: could have done to prevent this, it's like nothing.

233
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, you were twenty and you did it.

234
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,400
Speaker 3: She said multiple times that she wasn't so sure, like

235
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:56,199
Speaker 3: as she kind of gets closer, she feels like it's

236
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,960
Speaker 3: a little more impossible, which is like, what you were

237
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,160
Speaker 3: saying is to say it ear looks like she did,

238
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:01,800
Speaker 3: and she just.

239
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:06,000
Speaker 1: Ignored Your sister, just your sister completely ignored it. Yeah, okay,

240
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,920
Speaker 1: let's sit this update. Because of everything I read, I

241
00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,520
Speaker 1: realized I needed to do my best to hear her

242
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,640
Speaker 1: and to also be heard. I sent my sister a

243
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,440
Speaker 1: text begging her to see me, to talk to me

244
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,640
Speaker 1: as we did in the past, and not like enemies.

245
00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:19,679
Speaker 1: I wanted us to be a team again, working towards

246
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,520
Speaker 1: her being happy. My sister finally called me and decided

247
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,280
Speaker 1: to come over. Almost as soon as she was in

248
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,080
Speaker 1: the door, she was in tears, hugging me and crying.

249
00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,560
Speaker 1: I cried with her before she was ready to talk,

250
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,960
Speaker 1: and when she did talk, I was completely unsure of

251
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,280
Speaker 1: what to say. She told me that she was becoming

252
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,600
Speaker 1: okay with the idea of being childless for her life,

253
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,719
Speaker 1: and she knew that asking me at this time was

254
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,560
Speaker 1: literally the worst time she could have chosen. She told

255
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,400
Speaker 1: me that though the promise meant worlds to her back then,

256
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,480
Speaker 1: I was still a girl in her mind, and she

257
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,280
Speaker 1: used it only to feel better and relied on it

258
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,000
Speaker 1: too much to feel better even through the years. I've

259
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,440
Speaker 1: always been her little sister that she protects and watches

260
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,520
Speaker 1: out for, and she wasn't even sure if she could

261
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,280
Speaker 1: accept such a thing from me. She never really expected

262
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,480
Speaker 1: me to do that without actually talking to me about it,

263
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,240
Speaker 1: and that is partially why we have only had half

264
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,240
Speaker 1: conversations about it. It was a great source of comfort

265
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,240
Speaker 1: for her, but not something she felt like she could

266
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:15,640
Speaker 1: make real. Her husband though, are we discovering Are we

267
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,559
Speaker 1: uncovering the real villain of this story?

268
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:18,480
Speaker 4: Perhaps we are.

269
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,640
Speaker 1: I don't forget the mom too great snakes. Mom was, oh, yeah,

270
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,480
Speaker 1: the whole family, being like, I raised you better than this,

271
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,040
Speaker 1: I raised you to make babies.

272
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like okay, Grandma, calm down, mom as mom, yeah,

273
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,319
Speaker 3: it's crazy crazy.

274
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,079
Speaker 1: Her husband though, has been insisting that they have a

275
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,680
Speaker 1: child now and that it has to be that way,

276
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,160
Speaker 1: even though she has told him many times that it

277
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,679
Speaker 1: was okay if I couldn't do it, and that they

278
00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:46,560
Speaker 1: could be happy without a child or a child that

279
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,640
Speaker 1: was genetically only related to his family. He disagreed with her,

280
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,200
Speaker 1: got in her head and convinced her to ask me.

281
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,720
Speaker 1: My mom had also begun to ask her when she

282
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,319
Speaker 1: would start this process, as it's often long and involved,

283
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,800
Speaker 1: so she felt pressured by all of her support systems

284
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,640
Speaker 1: to do this, so she did it in that way

285
00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:05,280
Speaker 1: because of the pressure and because she knew I'd have

286
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,400
Speaker 1: to refuse. She apologized very much over this to me

287
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,600
Speaker 1: and wanted to sooner, but hearing ME really say no

288
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,360
Speaker 1: reminded her of the hurt she went through back when

289
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,240
Speaker 1: she first found out. Since I was her rock. Then,

290
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,800
Speaker 1: she realized that she never had her own place to

291
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,920
Speaker 1: anchor her pain inside of her because it was anchored

292
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:23,400
Speaker 1: to me.

293
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:28,880
Speaker 3: Whoa big therapy moments happening right now? That's crazy, she said.

294
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,320
Speaker 1: It felt like going through all of that again, but

295
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,360
Speaker 1: alone with her angry husband insisting that she find a

296
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,640
Speaker 1: way to make this work. She said she felt comforted

297
00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:39,359
Speaker 1: by my family and mother's siding with her, but realized

298
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,480
Speaker 1: it was still a way of not dealing with things

299
00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:44,800
Speaker 1: by herself. She wasn't even fully aware of what was

300
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,200
Speaker 1: happening with them until she got back on Facebook and

301
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,000
Speaker 1: talked to our mom and was really upset by that.

302
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:53,000
Speaker 1: I was just as surprised as before, not sure what

303
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,079
Speaker 1: to tell her. I told her that if she had

304
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,640
Speaker 1: to go through a divorce or being childless, I would

305
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,679
Speaker 1: of course support her through that. She said she was

306
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,800
Speaker 1: not sure her at all what she wanted and that

307
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,679
Speaker 1: it would be easy to stay with her husband and

308
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:08,320
Speaker 1: just let him hate me. That didn't feel right what

309
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:12,480
Speaker 1: we could in contact or what. I told her that

310
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:15,000
Speaker 1: it would be fine to me if I didn't lose

311
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,880
Speaker 1: her and if at the end of it he could

312
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,480
Speaker 1: be okay with other options, But she said this wasn't

313
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:22,920
Speaker 1: fair and she wasn't even sure what other options she wanted.

314
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,320
Speaker 3: So now maybe she's thinking like, Okay, this is a

315
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,240
Speaker 3: lot to put on opee, But at the same time,

316
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,200
Speaker 3: I don't really know if I would want other options well,

317
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,200
Speaker 3: because I mean, like she said before, if it's not

318
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,560
Speaker 3: her kid, she doesn't know how she would love it.

319
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is true. I don't know. What I'm not

320
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,680
Speaker 1: getting is that she said this wasn't fair. I'm like,

321
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,240
Speaker 1: that sounded perfectly fair to me.

322
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,080
Speaker 4: I mean, maybe not fair to ope with being like,

323
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,280
Speaker 4: well you I know, but I.

324
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:49,360
Speaker 1: Mean it's still just about the husband hate her exactly.

325
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,079
Speaker 4: That would be fair.

326
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,199
Speaker 1: I don't know. I would feel weird living with my

327
00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,800
Speaker 1: husband that hates my sister. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, that's

328
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,760
Speaker 1: maybe hopefully that's what that makes. That makes a lot

329
00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:58,000
Speaker 1: of sense.

330
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:58,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

331
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,360
Speaker 1: What else makes a lot of sense is you can

332
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,760
Speaker 1: listen to full episodes with stories like this on Spotify

333
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,640
Speaker 1: and iHeartRadio and Apple podcasts wherever you listen to podcasts,

334
00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:11,400
Speaker 1: just search okay story time, and you're gonna your mind's

335
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:15,360
Speaker 1: gonna be blown at what you find. Did absolutely okay,

336
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,880
Speaker 1: we have a little bit more story left, and do

337
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,240
Speaker 1: you have any finishing thoughts here?

338
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,760
Speaker 3: This is It's just I'm glad that they can have

339
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,960
Speaker 3: this conversation now because before it was getting scary.

340
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:23,880
Speaker 4: It was getting scared.

341
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,480
Speaker 3: I was thinking that the piggy promise was gonna be

342
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,280
Speaker 3: held over her head for.

343
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:29,160
Speaker 4: The rest of her life.

344
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,560
Speaker 3: But it looks like things are starting to calm down,

345
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,440
Speaker 3: and that the solution is more on the actual couple

346
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,400
Speaker 3: having the child and not on op a little.

347
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,640
Speaker 1: Bit more at least, I'm glad they were really helpful

348
00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,200
Speaker 1: the revelation that the sister literally never even wanted to.

349
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,920
Speaker 1: The sister was like, this is not gonna really happen, right,

350
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,040
Speaker 1: it's crazy. Yeah, and her husband's like, you gotta make

351
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:49,560
Speaker 1: it happen.

352
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, So my husband's wild.

353
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,600
Speaker 1: Thankes allows this. Yeah, husband sounds pretty detoxic. Yeah, but

354
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,600
Speaker 1: I digress. I'm not sure what to tell her now either,

355
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:02,200
Speaker 1: or how to help her. Husband loves her very deeply,

356
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,560
Speaker 1: I know, and this hurts him. We're all just people

357
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,160
Speaker 1: trying to cope with something that is terrible and painful.

358
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if they will stay together or not,

359
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:11,760
Speaker 1: or if my sister is right and that they just

360
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:15,400
Speaker 1: needed something concrete to snap them out of the fantasy

361
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,440
Speaker 1: so that they could deal with this in their life

362
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:21,240
Speaker 1: and marriage realistically. I'm hoping that he is okay and

363
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,000
Speaker 1: that she is okay, and that they can move away

364
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,080
Speaker 1: from this stronger. But whatever happens, I will support my

365
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,760
Speaker 1: sister and that oh good is the end of that story.

366
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:30,320
Speaker 4: Wow?

367
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:34,720
Speaker 1: Wow, Okay, yeah, Sissy, stick together. I honestly I like that.

368
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,040
Speaker 1: That's I feel like that's probably the best way that

369
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:37,640
Speaker 1: could have gone.

370
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:42,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel good about that. Husband to figure out.

371
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,000
Speaker 1: Like I get it, Like you have a right as

372
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,440
Speaker 1: like a person. You're like, this is what I want.

373
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,680
Speaker 1: I want my kid to be like as genetically similar

374
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,560
Speaker 1: to me as possible. Sure, but like not considering the

375
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 1: fact that op is also a human being who will

376
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:59,200
Speaker 1: be carrying the child instead of just a machine like

377
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,800
Speaker 1: a test tobe of some kind.

378
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:04,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, he needs to learn more about pregnancies and the horrors.

379
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:10,280
Speaker 4: So I think to really understand this. Joy because I'm scared.

380
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,680
Speaker 4: My father crashed my car and left me to deal

381
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaker 4: with it.

382
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,640
Speaker 1: He's just like, I'm gonna go to the hospital. You

383
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,960
Speaker 1: go ahead and just take cars. He just disappears, just

384
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,000
Speaker 1: walking off to find him in Tijuana.

385
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,080
Speaker 3: I twenty one male, have been living at my parents'

386
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,680
Speaker 3: house due to recent life events. We have a pretty

387
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,120
Speaker 3: good relationship, but of course we have our moments. Well,

388
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 3: about a week ago, my mom was at work and

389
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,240
Speaker 3: my dad needed to run by the store. He couldn't

390
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,600
Speaker 3: wait until my mom got back, so he asked to

391
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,440
Speaker 3: borrow my car. I agreed to let him have it

392
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,880
Speaker 3: as I didn't have anything I needed to do right then.

393
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:44,880
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Oh Okas Katie.

394
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,120
Speaker 3: If you want to submit your own stories, go to

395
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,040
Speaker 3: the ARS Sugar start time some reading.

396
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:49,840
Speaker 5: Well.

397
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,480
Speaker 3: About forty minutes later, I get a call from him

398
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,640
Speaker 3: saying that he had been in an accident. Of course,

399
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,720
Speaker 3: that scared the crap out of me, and I made

400
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,880
Speaker 3: sure that he was okay. First he said that he was,

401
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 3: come on and explained the accident. Long story short, he

402
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:07,560
Speaker 3: ran a stop sign and smacked straight ahead into another vehicle. Luckily,

403
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,480
Speaker 3: no one got seriously injured except my car. It's busted

404
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:15,399
Speaker 3: up pretty bad. Without going into much detail, the bumper, headlights, hood,

405
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,560
Speaker 3: and parts of the engine are all messed up.

406
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 1: Ooh, that's really bad.

407
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,160
Speaker 4: It sounds like it's total to.

408
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:24,760
Speaker 1: Me, engine damage from a like a bump. Of yeah,

409
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,520
Speaker 1: that wasn't a bump. That was a smash.

410
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:27,520
Speaker 4: That's a smash.

411
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,200
Speaker 3: I got my car in the shop and I'm still

412
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,159
Speaker 3: waiting on the estimated time it will take for me

413
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,280
Speaker 3: to get it back. Until then, though, I need a

414
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,680
Speaker 3: car to get to and from work, and that's where

415
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 3: the problem is. See me and my mom have different

416
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,040
Speaker 3: work schedules, but similar enough to where I could see

417
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 3: us working something out. She usually goes in an hour

418
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,119
Speaker 3: earlier than me and gets off about thirty minutes before me.

419
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,520
Speaker 3: I figured I could drop her off, go to work,

420
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 3: and then.

421
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 4: Pick her up. Well, my mom hates the idea.

422
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,200
Speaker 3: She says that she doesn't want to have to rely

423
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 3: on me to pick her up or get her to

424
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,240
Speaker 3: work on time. She said that since she wasn't involved

425
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:02,840
Speaker 3: in the accident, she shouldn't be affected by the consequences. Well, unfortunately,

426
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,000
Speaker 3: you do live in the same household as these people.

427
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,960
Speaker 1: So I just if you live in a place with

428
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,359
Speaker 1: public transportation, which is not everyone does, that is the

429
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:11,880
Speaker 1: solution to this problem.

430
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:12,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

431
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,280
Speaker 1: A lot of you am astounded at the amount of

432
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,439
Speaker 1: people who are like, just refuse to take the bus

433
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,520
Speaker 1: with no other options.

434
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:18,200
Speaker 4: Yeah.

435
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, if I took the bus in my hometown, it'd

436
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 1: be weird.

437
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,399
Speaker 4: I was just thinking about that. Did they even have

438
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:23,320
Speaker 4: bus again too?

439
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 1: But you have to walk to town to get to it.

440
00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 1: A lot of places don't want to have very good

441
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:31,560
Speaker 1: accessible public transportation. But if you have it, that's your solution,

442
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,280
Speaker 1: right yeaw, yeah, I.

443
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,199
Speaker 3: Told her it would just be until I got my

444
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 3: car back, but she didn't care. I was expecting Dad

445
00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:40,399
Speaker 3: to back me up, seeing as he's the reason I

446
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 3: got into this mess, but instead he just agreed with

447
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,880
Speaker 3: her and so that I should find a different way.

448
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 3: The problem is there is no different way. There's no

449
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,520
Speaker 3: good public transportation system in our town.

450
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,439
Speaker 4: We live about forty five minutes away from where I work. Gotcha,

451
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 4: there's your end.

452
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:56,439
Speaker 1: It's like you read my mind.

453
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, you like heard him talk to you or something

454
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 3: like that. My dad and then suggested I bike to work,

455
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,000
Speaker 3: which I quickly shut down. I'd rather not have to

456
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 3: bike all the way to and from work every day

457
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 3: when we could literally just share a car.

458
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, but think of how pumped up your calves would be, dude.

459
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,080
Speaker 4: You're gonna be so strong. Cavs would be yoked, dude.

460
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,639
Speaker 3: I told them it was unfair for them not to

461
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:20,400
Speaker 3: let me use their car since Dad crashed mine. Then

462
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,960
Speaker 3: they said that I was just being ungrateful, as they

463
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,159
Speaker 3: were already putting a roof over my head and I

464
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 3: shouldn't expect much more from them. I have no idea

465
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:31,440
Speaker 3: where they even thought I was being ungrateful. All I'm

466
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 3: saying is, why would I choose a harder, more time

467
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,199
Speaker 3: consuming way to work when there is an easier option?

468
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,840
Speaker 4: Am I being unreasonable?

469
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 3: I feel like at the least Dad could convince mom

470
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 3: to let me use their car since this is his faults,

471
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:47,359
Speaker 3: But instead he's just sitting there agreeing with everything she says.

472
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 3: I would ask my siblings to chime in on this,

473
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 3: but knowing them, they'll just agree with my parents.

474
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,960
Speaker 4: So am I the a hole? We have some comments,

475
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,040
Speaker 4: But what do you think?

476
00:19:55,119 --> 00:19:57,200
Speaker 1: I don't think you're the a hole? But I think,

477
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 1: you know, if depending on what the financial situation, if

478
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,920
Speaker 1: your mom's going to work and that money that she's

479
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 1: making it work like contributes to keeping the house like

480
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,719
Speaker 1: your house, I think that you need to prioritize her

481
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,800
Speaker 1: getting to work. I guess, so you know, but there's

482
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 1: there's also like a situation where she could probably make

483
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,119
Speaker 1: it work, where it's like we can both share the car,

484
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 1: So her being unreasonable after the dad literally like not

485
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 1: who knows if it's totaled, but the dad crashed the

486
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 1: car and then you know, to pull like the well

487
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 1: we put a roof over your head and you're asking

488
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 1: too much. It's like yeah, I'm pretty sure that one

489
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,400
Speaker 1: of the bare minimums for having children is we shouldn't

490
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:32,920
Speaker 1: be homeless.

491
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 3: Right. Yeah, that's like legally what you have to provide, right,

492
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure.

493
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 1: Pretty sure, whether we were here or not, you'd have

494
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 1: a roof, right yeah. Here, you'd want one.

495
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 4: So it could fit more than two people in there,

496
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 4: right Yeah. Yeah, So that's what I think. It's crazy.

497
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,880
Speaker 3: It's like, like it's really not much that she's asking because,

498
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 3: on the one hand, op has to walk or bike

499
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 3: over an hour at this point, becau if it's forty

500
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 3: five minutes in a car, it's going to be so

501
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 3: much longer walking and biking. Yeah, or the mom just

502
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,360
Speaker 3: like has to maybe risk being late sometimes. But that's

503
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 3: not even like guaranteed at all. Right, But there are

504
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 3: some comments coming. Number one says, info, do you pay

505
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 3: for your own car insurance and upkeep on the car? Also,

506
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 3: did you buy your car or did your parents? Opie says,

507
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,680
Speaker 3: I bought the car and I pay for the insurance

508
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,320
Speaker 3: and any maintenance it needs. Comment Number two says, not

509
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 3: the a hole. Your mom's objection is that she doesn't

510
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,560
Speaker 3: want to rely on you to get.

511
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 1: Her to work on time.

512
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 3: Ask her to take you to work and pick you up. Yes,

513
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:30,639
Speaker 3: you'll be inconvenience by the earlier arrival time, but you

514
00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:33,119
Speaker 3: will have arrived at work without having to take public

515
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 3: transportation or ride a bike.

516
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 1: Boom.

517
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 3: Maybe you can start earlier and finish later, at least

518
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 3: for the short term.

519
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 4: Failing that, honestly, your father needs to own his errors here.

520
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:43,360
Speaker 4: He wrecked your car.

521
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 3: He needs to get you to work while your car

522
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 3: is being repaired. Maybe he's got a friend who owes

523
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,040
Speaker 3: him a big favor. Maybe one of your siblings can

524
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 3: do him the favor of loaning you a car. Maybe

525
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 3: he can come out of his pocket to pay for

526
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,880
Speaker 3: ubers or a rental. Yeah, you have grounds to sue

527
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,320
Speaker 3: him as he created a problem that is impact your

528
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 3: ability to work.

529
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,240
Speaker 4: Your court case is.

530
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 3: The nuclear option though, And I wouldn't drop that bomb

531
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 3: until I was already out of their house.

532
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a big thing to go to, huge bomb.

533
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,359
Speaker 1: And I again, I think this ignores that like a

534
00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 1: lot of too man these situations just like it's the finances.

535
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 1: It's like, it's not feasible for me to go to

536
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 1: court against my own father.

537
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 3: I feel like if you're like if you're willing to

538
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 3: go to court because of this whole thing.

539
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 4: It's like, just don't go.

540
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 3: To work for the time that you don't have the car.

541
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,440
Speaker 3: That's the amount of money that you'll be spending.

542
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: You're gonna lose more money suing your dad.

543
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.

544
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 1: Ope.

545
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,679
Speaker 3: He does respond to that comment, saying I brought up

546
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 3: the idea of her dropping me off and picking me up.

547
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,200
Speaker 3: She says it will mess up her schedule and that

548
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 3: she doesn't want to wake up any earlier than she

549
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 3: has to.

550
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 4: I feel like she's just unwilling to try to share

551
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 4: the car.

552
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 1: It's true. Yeah.

553
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:48,400
Speaker 4: Commentary number three says this is insane.

554
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,360
Speaker 3: I hope your car at least is in your name

555
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,479
Speaker 3: so you have no trouble after getting it back. If not,

556
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 3: make sure that he transfers the title and then take them.

557
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,120
Speaker 4: Off the insurance.

558
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 3: It's not going to work, but I would first put

559
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,679
Speaker 3: it to them in terms of liability and use your

560
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 3: mom's argument to justify your demands. If your mom's argument

561
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 3: of not having been involved and therefore not needing to

562
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,880
Speaker 3: contribute anything is going to hold, then faris fare. At minimum,

563
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 3: you should be compensated use of a car to get

564
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 3: to and from work, or the cost of a rental,

565
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 3: and some form of monetary compensation for the increased premiums

566
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,399
Speaker 3: that will result from an at fault moving violation and

567
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 3: collision that was not your responsibility.

568
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 4: We've got a lawyer on our hands. Everyone.

569
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,440
Speaker 3: Even with the worst insurance, I have to expect that

570
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 3: there's an increase of at least fifty dollars a month

571
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 3: on top of what you were paying previously.

572
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 4: That's a good point.

573
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,440
Speaker 3: Insurance will go up from being in a crash like that,

574
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,679
Speaker 3: possibly more given your age. Insurance is very high for

575
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 3: your age bracket. And then when that fails, I would

576
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 3: remove the spark plugs from both of their cars and

577
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 3: make them miss a day of work and see how

578
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 3: they effing like it. How do they expect you to

579
00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 3: get money to move out if you lose your job?

580
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 3: Soft brain narks, is the distance really accurate? Forty five

581
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 3: minutes by car is like four hours by bike. That's

582
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 3: an insane thing to say, unless there's a mistake there. Oh,

583
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 3: you responded, I didn't even realize that the bike ride

584
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,879
Speaker 3: would be four hours long. In my mind when he

585
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 3: said it, I thought it would take somewhere around one

586
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:08,919
Speaker 3: hour thirty minutes to two hours, which is still just

587
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 3: an outrageous suggestion, But four hours is insane. I'm going

588
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 3: to bring that up if he mentions that again, because

589
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,120
Speaker 3: there's no way he expects me to do eight hours

590
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 3: back and forth.

591
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:18,679
Speaker 1: It's a full shift.

592
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 4: That's that's a full shift.

593
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 3: Toma Chin number four says, this is a tough one

594
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 3: that should obviously step up and take care of this.

595
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 3: Why isn't the insurance covering a rental while yours is

596
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 3: in the shop? But I didn't know that was not

597
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,640
Speaker 3: every insurance policy has that. Yeah, are you living rent

598
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,120
Speaker 3: free at your parents? Not the ale ope, he responds,

599
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 3: I'm allowed to live with them rent free as long

600
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,880
Speaker 3: as I'm saving money in order to move out again.

601
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,160
Speaker 3: I do buy my own groceries and help with the bills, though,

602
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 3: so it's not like I'm totally living off of them

603
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 3: as far as the rental car goes. Apparently that's not

604
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 3: something I chose to add to my plan. So something

605
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 3: stupid on my part. But we do have an update.

606
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,919
Speaker 3: Let's just jump right in, shall.

607
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,160
Speaker 1: We even just wan dive right into that For a.

608
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,199
Speaker 3: Little backstory, I've twenty one mail had been living with

609
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,920
Speaker 3: my parents some recent life events. About a month ago,

610
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 3: I made a post here talking about how my dad

611
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,119
Speaker 3: crashed my car and my mom refused to let me

612
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 3: use theirs for my commute to work. Long story short,

613
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 3: my parents ended up paying for the expenses to have

614
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 3: my car fixed. We did also end up sharing a

615
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 3: car until I had mine back. Good thank you for

616
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 3: finally being smart. After that, I thought it was done

617
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 3: and over. My mom made a comment about it here

618
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 3: and there, but it didn't seem to seriously bother her

619
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 3: until about a week and a half ago. She demanded

620
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 3: that I pay them all the money from my car

621
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 3: expenses back. She said that it wasn't fair that she

622
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 3: lost money due to an accident that she didn't cause,

623
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,119
Speaker 3: and I think that's fair. But I reminded her that

624
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 3: I didn't cause it either. Dad caused the accident, and

625
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 3: I told her I'm sorry that it ended up affecting

626
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,919
Speaker 3: her as well, but that didn't change the fact that

627
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 3: my car had to be fixed and it was Dad's responsibility.

628
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he ran the stop sign. Yeah, absolutely ran

629
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,280
Speaker 1: the stop sign. Absolutely ran the stop sign. Say his fault.

630
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 3: She got really mad at that and started on a

631
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,280
Speaker 3: rant about how it was unfair and I was using

632
00:25:58,320 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 3: them for money.

633
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 4: And what was my dad's response to all of this?

634
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 4: He just agreed with her.

635
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,200
Speaker 3: I ended up just telling her what I've already said

636
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 3: because there was honestly nothing else to say. She's been

637
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 3: very upset with me since then, but she never mentioned

638
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 3: any possibility of punting me out. So imagine my surprise

639
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 3: a couple days ago when I came home to all

640
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 3: of my stuff being outside of the house in boxes,

641
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 3: literally on the curb.

642
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: Dang, that's wow, next level buffoonery.

643
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,119
Speaker 4: Yes, parents, they gosh.

644
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 1: They got your in an accident in your car. Yeah,

645
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 1: for no reason other than the dad was impatient. Yes,

646
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 1: And now all of a sudden, yeah, you're they're kicking

647
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 1: you out because what yeh? Because you were like, hey,

648
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 1: that was your fault.

649
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 4: You didn't do anything at all at all.

650
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 1: You just want us to pay for the damages we caused,

651
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:45,399
Speaker 1: don't you.

652
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,719
Speaker 4: That is mind blowing? Oh my gosh.

653
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 3: I was honestly shocked and mad about this, and I

654
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,879
Speaker 3: immediately went in the house to question my parents about this.

655
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 3: My mom said that she was tired of letting someone

656
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 3: so ungrateful live in her house. My dad just repeated

657
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 3: what my mom said, but in a kinder way, because

658
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 3: I guess he thought she was being harsh.

659
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 4: I couldn't believe it.

660
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 3: I asked her to explain how I have being ungrateful,

661
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,399
Speaker 3: and she responded by basically saying, we raised you, And

662
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 3: how does that mean you're on grave fault for being raised?

663
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 1: Yeah? You raised me to be someone who keeps others accountable.

664
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

665
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 3: We went back and forth for a bit and we

666
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,120
Speaker 3: were both pretty mad at each other.

667
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,399
Speaker 4: Then my mom told me to leave the house or

668
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 4: else she would call the police on me. What is

669
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 4: going on? This is crazy?

670
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: Where's dad for like any of this? Like, come on,

671
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 1: he's there.

672
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 4: He's just like like the mom is just like I've

673
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 4: gotta got the police on you, And then the Dad's like,

674
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:37,359
Speaker 4: I'm gonna call the police on you.

675
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,199
Speaker 1: It's like, I know that's what's going on. I know

676
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: I'm the one who caused all of this. Yeah, but

677
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say anything because I'm also scared

678
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: of your mother. Right.

679
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,120
Speaker 3: I have no idea if anything actually would have came

680
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 3: to that situation, But at that point I was so

681
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 3: confused and angry that I just went outside and called

682
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 3: around to find someone I was able to stay with.

683
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,199
Speaker 3: I ended up sleeping at a friend's house. It's been

684
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,360
Speaker 3: a couple of days now, and siblings have I've both

685
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,440
Speaker 3: been calling me. I guess my parents must have told

686
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 3: them what happened. I'm assuming it was specifically my mom

687
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,560
Speaker 3: bad talking me to them. My sister agrees with my

688
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 3: mom and says I should have paid them back the money.

689
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 3: My brother agrees that it was unfair for them to

690
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 3: punt me out, but also says that I should have

691
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 3: just paid the money back. My dad has also been

692
00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,400
Speaker 3: trying to reach me, but honestly, I've just been too

693
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 3: mad to pick up the phone for him. I'm just

694
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 3: so shocked by this whole situation. I wouldn't say me

695
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,679
Speaker 3: and my parents' relationship has always been easy street, but

696
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 3: it's never.

697
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,160
Speaker 4: Been this bad.

698
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 3: I honestly thought we were good until all this. The

699
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 3: worst part is I was planning to move out and

700
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 3: rent an apartment with a friend once their lease was

701
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 3: up in two months. My parents knew that and still

702
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,960
Speaker 3: decided to do this. I'm just so confused, and I

703
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 3: don't understand where they're coming from. I get that they

704
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 3: raised me and took care of me and all that,

705
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 3: but I just feel like that doesn't give them the

706
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 3: right to do this all of a sudden. I don't

707
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 3: think I did anything wrong, So honestly, am I the

708
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,960
Speaker 3: a hole in this situation? We have an updates, but

709
00:28:55,040 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 3: what's our answer? No, not the answer, and we do

710
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,280
Speaker 3: have a Sunday. We're just going to roll into a

711
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 3: really really fast camp out.

712
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 4: Update number two. Some things have happened since my last punts.

713
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 1: Huzza.

714
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 3: I calmed down a bit and decided to finally answer

715
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 3: one of my dad's calls.

716
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 4: He started talking about how afraid.

717
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 3: He was that I was never going to talk to

718
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 3: him again. Then he said that things weren't supposed to

719
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 3: go that way and the other day and apologize for

720
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 3: Mom putting my stuff outside. Apparently the plan was to

721
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 3: talk to me about it first, but he said that

722
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 3: Mom got caught up in her emotions. When I asked

723
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 3: why he didn't step in, he said that it was

724
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 3: because he didn't want to upset her anymore. I didn't

725
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 3: really want to accept that excuse, but I took it

726
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 3: so we can move forward.

727
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: It really was literally like I'm sorry, I'm just really scared.

728
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,239
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and I was amazed. I was getting I

729
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 1: was getting out of it, like I had my get

730
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,479
Speaker 1: out of jail free card. She was just focused on you.

731
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: I was wanting to crash that car. I was astounded. Yeah,

732
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: I just decided to play my cards right.

733
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,479
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, dude.

734
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,200
Speaker 3: That was until I got another call from my brother.

735
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 3: Mom's been absolutely rap talking me to him and my sister. Apparently,

736
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: she kept comparing me to them and how good they're doing.

737
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 3: Mind you, they're both older than me by several years.

738
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 3: Then she went on a rant about how much harder

739
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 3: it's been to raise me compared to them. At one point,

740
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 3: he says that she even insinuated that I was a mistake,

741
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 3: though he says to take that with a grain of salt,

742
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 3: as she didn't outright say it. My brother was uncomfortable

743
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 3: with listening to her talk about me so harshly, and

744
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 3: he decided to call and tell me.

745
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 1: Uh.

746
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 3: By the way, I want to tell you that you

747
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 3: can find full episodes with more stories just like this

748
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 3: one on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, I Heart Radio, whatever your

749
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 3: favorite podcast app is, and in search Okay, story Time

750
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 3: that will always be there for us. There's a little

751
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 3: bit more into the stories we keep going.

752
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 4: Stowey, do you have anything to say?

753
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 2: Right?

754
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm feeling a mix of emotions about this right now.

755
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 3: Part of me is still mad about the suddenly punting

756
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 3: me out thing, but I'm mostly just sad about it all.

757
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 3: Knowing that my mom is saying all this stuff behind

758
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 3: my back only makes me think that she really means it.

759
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 3: And whether she outrights said it or not, hearing that

760
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 3: she thinks I'm a mistake honestly crushed my soul. I

761
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 3: don't understand why still, but I guess she has her reasons.

762
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 3: I don't really want to talk to her again, but

763
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 3: I do really want to know the truth of why

764
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 3: she feels this way about me. I'm not sure about

765
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 3: Dad yet. I'm not the type to cut people off,

766
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 3: and having to do it to one person is already

767
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 3: too much for me. I'm still staying with my friend

768
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 3: as of now until I figure out what I'm doing.

769
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,239
Speaker 3: I guess I'll see how it goes from here, and

770
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 3: that is the end of that story.

771
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 1: Oh. I don't know if my mom has like a

772
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: emotional regulation disorder of some kind, Perhaps if it's maybe

773
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 1: like misplaced, like maybe Mom can't give Dad the consequences

774
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 1: of this because of I don't know. Maybe it's like

775
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to admit that there's problems in my marriage,

776
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 1: so instead I'm gonna make it problem with my kids.

777
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: I don't know.

778
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 3: It's not a very mature thing to do in all

779
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 3: friends except for Ope's like, really, Op didn't do anything

780
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 3: at all?

781
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: No, nothing, And it's you know, the human brain is

782
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 1: a mysterious monster. And you're so right. There's so many

783
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: different reasons that the mom could have been acting like that.

784
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: However there's yeah, none of it was all right. Yeah,

785
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: we raised you pretty sure. That's what you're supposed to

786
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: do when you have a kid.

787
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

788
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: Hey it's John here.

789
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

790
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 2: three minute break with the Aswermur sponsors.

791
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 1: I lost my best friend and my family just because

792
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:16,800
Speaker 1: I got married.

793
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 4: The person who married sounds like they sucks.

794
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: This is going to be a two in one kind

795
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 1: of story. One part is about my family and the

796
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 1: other about my ex best friend. Both stories interlock and

797
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 1: it all revolves around my wedding. For context, my husband

798
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 1: twenty nine Mail Thomas, and I twenty nine Female, decided

799
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,560
Speaker 1: to pay for our own wedding. Not only did we

800
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: want to have a simple, low cost wedding, but we

801
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 1: also didn't want anyone feeling that they had to say

802
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: over the event because they contributed financially. By the way,

803
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: this comes from user the Unsocial Panda, and if you

804
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

805
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: slash Showcase Storytime subreddit. So we did as much as

806
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 1: we could ourselves and di wide a bunch of things.

807
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 1: We still continue to diiy a lot of things ourselves

808
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: to this day, and it's something we both love. I

809
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,480
Speaker 1: met Thomas in high school at about age fifteen. I'd

810
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: meet my ex best friend Stacy when we were five.

811
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 1: I'd have a crush on Thomas as soon as he

812
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 1: started going to my school, and we'd both secretly crushed

813
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: on each other until our mutual friends got sick of

814
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: it and made us confess. At the end of the year,

815
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 1: he asked me to be his girlfriend, and we've been

816
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: together since. Stacy didn't go through the same high school

817
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 1: as Thomas and me, so I introduced them outside of school.

818
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 1: At first, she would really like him, but as Thomas

819
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 1: and I spent more time together, I barely heard from Stacy.

820
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 1: I wasn't even invited to her sixteenth birthday party, which

821
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 1: really hurt. I'd noticed this and would call her and

822
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: ask if something was wrong, and she'd tell me everything

823
00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 1: was fine. I brushed past this because I thought that

824
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: maybe she was hurt because I was spending time with

825
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: Thomas and less than usual with her. Fast forward to

826
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: when we were nineteen and Thomas proposed we'd talked about

827
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 1: getting married. Since we'd gotten together, we've had the kind

828
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: of relationship where everything just clicked, and so I was

829
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,280
Speaker 1: really excited that this was finally happening and we would

830
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 1: soon wake up next to each other every day. I

831
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 1: messaged Stacy that night and asked her to be my

832
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 1: maid of honor, and she said yes. That's when things

833
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 1: started going downhill. My in laws planned an engagement party

834
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 1: for us. One day, Stacy and I were texting about

835
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 1: nothing in particular before I started work, and I then

836
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 1: asked if she'd like to be a photographer for the party,

837
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 1: as she was interested in being a photographer someday. Suddenly,

838
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,720
Speaker 1: she went silent until I got a call from her sister,

839
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: who began yelling at me about how I was a

840
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 1: selfish friend and wouldn't talk about anything but the wedding.

841
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: This was maybe the second time in months that I'd

842
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:56,200
Speaker 1: mentioned it, and that Stacy was bawling her eyes out

843
00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 1: because I hadn't wished her a happy birthday. It was

844
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,919
Speaker 1: eight am, and I would drive at least an hour

845
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: and a half to work. I was shocked, because of

846
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 1: course I hadn't forgotten her birthday. In fact, i'd bought

847
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,800
Speaker 1: her a gift over a week ago, and I didn't

848
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: understand why she didn't tell me herself that I'd upset her.

849
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 1: I profusely apologized and felt horrible the whole work day

850
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 1: next with the bride'smaid dresses. I'd originally thought Stacy and

851
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,280
Speaker 1: I would plan the wedding together. My husband was studying

852
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 1: at university at the time, and I'd wanted to keep

853
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 1: stress off of him. But Thomas and I just decided

854
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: on things so easily that there wasn't much to discuss

855
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 1: with Stacy. We were paying for the wedding ourselves and

856
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,720
Speaker 1: didn't have much money, so we kept things pretty cheap

857
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 1: and asked the bridal party if they could pay for

858
00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 1: their outfits. Everyone was fine with that, and I reassured

859
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: my bride'smaids that I wouldn't pick a dress they didn't want.

860
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 1: No one was expected to fork out hundreds of dollars

861
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: just for our wedding, so they had the power to

862
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 1: veto anything they weren't comfortable with. Well, on the day

863
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 1: we went dress shopping, Stacy, my other childhood best friend, sister,

864
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 1: and mom. Stacy ended up spending almost the whole time

865
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,719
Speaker 1: talking about what she would do for her wedding. She

866
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 1: was talking about what colors she'd want, the style of dresses,

867
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,920
Speaker 1: her wedding dress, and a wedding theme. Mind you, she

868
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:17,960
Speaker 1: didn't even have a partner.

869
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, says the single person.

870
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,839
Speaker 1: I let it go as I just read it as

871
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: her being excited for my wedding, but it really bothered

872
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: everyone else. My mom and another bestie even asked her

873
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 1: to stop multiple times. Then comes my bachelorette party. I

874
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 1: had left all planning of that up to Stacy. She

875
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: wanted that, and I honestly didn't care what she did.

876
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: I just wanted to have some fun with my girls

877
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 1: and didn't care for any big expense I would even

878
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 1: have paid for myself. We ended up doing bowling laser

879
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 1: tag Laser's laser skirmish, laser skirmish, laser laser skirmish, pan

880
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: cake manner.

881
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:02,799
Speaker 5: What what is this?

882
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:04,880
Speaker 4: Where are you?

883
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 1: I want to go? And then going to some bars

884
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: afterwards normal The legal drinking where age rhy'me at is

885
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 1: eighteen So it was so much fun, except for the

886
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,279
Speaker 1: bars as it was a Sunday night so they were

887
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: completely empty. I thought that part of the planning was weird,

888
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: but we tried to make something of it. Turns out

889
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 1: my mom had actually planned the bowling, laser skirmish and

890
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,680
Speaker 1: pancake manner because Stacey hadn't planned a thing. My mom

891
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 1: had been asking Stacy for weeks what was happening with

892
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 1: the bachelorette party, and Stacy just kept saying she hadn't

893
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:39,200
Speaker 1: planned anything but was going to. So with the wedding

894
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 1: day looming close, my mom ended up planning it herself.

895
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,799
Speaker 1: The bars were a last minute planned from Stacy so

896
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,399
Speaker 1: she could claim something for the night. My mom told

897
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 1: me this I'd figured it out as she just wanted

898
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 1: me to have a fun night and was fine with

899
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:56,840
Speaker 1: Stacy getting all the credit. Next comes the big day itself.

900
00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: The weather was a bit dramatic and we almost had

901
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 1: to change our plans. We di wied so much of

902
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 1: the wedding to keep costs low, including the invitations to

903
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 1: flower arrangements, and even strung up two hundred meters of

904
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,279
Speaker 1: fairy lights at the venue our cells. We'd arranged with

905
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:14,279
Speaker 1: the venue to go the day before the wedding to

906
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: set everything up. However, it had been raining a lot

907
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: and it had flooded around our venue. Not only was

908
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: there only one road accessible to the venue, but all

909
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: the staff were flooded in and couldn't get there to

910
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: let us in. Eventually, after about three hours, the manager

911
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 1: was able to make it out to let Thomas and

912
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,680
Speaker 1: my brothers in to start setting up. I'd laughed it

913
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 1: all off because Thomas and I didn't want to be

914
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: stressing about the wedding. The important part for us was

915
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 1: our life together afterwards, not the wedding. On the day

916
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 1: of the wedding, the weather was cold. It was the

917
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 1: first week of winter, and there were bits of rain

918
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 1: here and there. Our ceremony was to be outside. It

919
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,439
Speaker 1: was so cold that my makeup, which I'd planned on using,

920
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,320
Speaker 1: was frozen. Whoa, and so I'd had to completely change

921
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 1: what I'd planned on doing. Not only that, but the

922
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 1: hairdresser I'd hired didn't do the hairstyle I'd wanted. She

923
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 1: didn't even know how to put in clip in hair extensions.

924
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 4: Wait, so she had like talked to her about them.

925
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:13,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I shouldn't that have been like a range.

926
00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 5: Okay, this is what I'm thinking about for my wedding day.

927
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 4: Can you do this?

928
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 1: No? I can't, so she would have to redo my

929
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 1: hair and rush it, which resulted in a hairstyle that

930
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: looked nothing like what I wanted and we didn't even

931
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,800
Speaker 1: end up using the hair extensions. While I was stressing

932
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 1: about all of this, Stacy was just blabbing my ear

933
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: off and I don't even remember about what. And my

934
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,359
Speaker 1: other bestie saw this and ended up shutting her out

935
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 1: of the room to give me a break. She was

936
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 1: my hero on that day. Finally I was ready and

937
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 1: we headed off to the venue. Thankfully, it wasn't raining,

938
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 1: so we were able to have the ceremony where we

939
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: had planned. It was, however, windy, and my dress had

940
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: capped sleeves and a keyhole back, so I was absolut

941
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 1: lutely freezing. That'll happen in the winter.

942
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 4: Yep, sorry, that's outdoor winter wedding.

943
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,360
Speaker 1: I didn't notice that in the middle of the ceremony

944
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: a branch had fallen off the tree above me and

945
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 1: hit my face on its way down.

946
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 4: Why are we outdoor in the winter.

947
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 1: Everyone gasped, Oh no, and my husband almost almost leapt

948
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 1: toward me and asked if I was okay. I was fine,

949
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: And it's now just a funny story we tell of

950
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 1: that day.

951
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:34,799
Speaker 5: So it was like, it was like a small branch, Yeah,

952
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 5: just like a stick.

953
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 1: I thought you just got like whacked. A bird was

954
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 1: playing a prank on you.

955
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, like, and everyone's like, You're like, it's this guy's fine.

956
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 1: Now comes the worst part. They always say, you don't

957
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: remember much of your own weddings, so take moments where

958
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 1: you stop and look around you to take in the event.

959
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: These are the moments you'll remember. So here is what

960
00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 1: I remember. I remember my first dance with Thomas, Thomas's

961
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:03,800
Speaker 1: uncle laughing at the best man's speech, and a crowd

962
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:07,280
Speaker 1: of my guests surrounding Stacy as she had a sob

963
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 1: session about how she's worried she'll never get married, Like.

964
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 5: Is this really a time girl? Go home and cry

965
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 5: about it? After the wedding, you can call I don't know,

966
00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 5: call some call your mom up or whatever. Go cry

967
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 5: in your room and get an ice cream, some ice

968
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 5: cream and a hot chocolate and you can watch freaking

969
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:33,719
Speaker 5: uh morom coms in your pjs.

970
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 1: She's never done that. I haven't, but you had no

971
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 1: not ones.

972
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,279
Speaker 4: Never with ice cream.

973
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 1: Got him on the technicality boom, never with ice cream.

974
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 1: She went on and on and on and on about

975
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 1: how she doesn't have a boyfriend and that she needs

976
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 1: a backup husband, build the best man, that he was

977
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,240
Speaker 1: her back up, and again told everyone all the details

978
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,720
Speaker 1: of her hypothetical wedding that she was worried she wouldn't

979
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:08,280
Speaker 1: have to reiterate. She was nineteen at the time, which

980
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: is the same age as op in the story. Not

981
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 1: only that, but she refused to give a maid of

982
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,879
Speaker 1: honor speech and pulled her skirt up so high while

983
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 1: dancing she flashed my stepdad or underwear, who was sitting

984
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:22,440
Speaker 1: about one point five meters behind her. She also decided

985
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 1: that my wedding day was the time to tell me

986
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,399
Speaker 1: she no longer wanted me as her maid of honor

987
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 1: like we'd always planned, but that she wanted her sister

988
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: to be her maid of honor instead. So yeah, that's

989
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,160
Speaker 1: what I remember about my wedding day, my supposed best

990
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 1: friend making a day that was supposed to be about

991
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,520
Speaker 1: celebrating Thomas and I t into being all about her

992
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,720
Speaker 1: and the wedding she wasn't even having. So how you asked,

993
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,319
Speaker 1: does this have to do with my family? Well, let's

994
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 1: go back in time a bit. Around the time Thomas

995
00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: and I got together, I started realizing how harmful my father,

996
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:55,400
Speaker 1: Richard was. I won't go into too much detail, but

997
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,919
Speaker 1: here's just some for context. I was told by him

998
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: many times I wasn't worth his time, that I couldn't

999
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: achieve much because I'm a girl, and that I'd never

1000
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 1: be good enough for him. He would compare me to

1001
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 1: one of my brothers and even Stacy and say I

1002
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:14,080
Speaker 1: should be more like them, and even threw things at

1003
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 1: me in anger. My parents split when I was at

1004
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: the beginning of grade twelve, and so I didn't do

1005
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: very well that year. Oh and they'd split because he'd

1006
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:28,280
Speaker 1: been having an affair with his boss's secretary and Richard

1007
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 1: decided he wanted to be with her instead of my mom.

1008
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 4: Dude, Richer, we have drama in your family.

1009
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: Manh, this guy's really putting the the rich and Richard dude.

1010
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,960
Speaker 1: I agree. He rented a house near our home so

1011
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,719
Speaker 1: we me and my siblings could stay with him every

1012
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: other weekend, but despite earning a six figure income, we

1013
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: were made to sleep on the floor and sit on

1014
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: camping chairs with a cardboard box for a table. I

1015
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 1: was also expected to make everyone dinner, as he never

1016
00:43:55,840 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 1: planned food for us. Yo, Daddy, dadda sucks, No Dad,

1017
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 1: He's bad, big bad. It didn't take long for me

1018
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 1: to get to the point of yelling at him about

1019
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: why he couldn't even provide the bear basics for his

1020
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 1: children to stay with him for a weekend and why

1021
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 1: so much was left up to me. He called me

1022
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: ungrateful and many other names. So I called my mom

1023
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: to pick me up and I never went back. This

1024
00:44:18,600 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: began years of harmful and manipulative messages from him. Richard

1025
00:44:23,719 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 1: wasn't invited to my high school graduation and even tried

1026
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,759
Speaker 1: manipulating me to see him by saying he wouldn't give

1027
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 1: me my eighteenth birthday money unless I saw him. Money

1028
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 1: has never been more important than it has to be

1029
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 1: for me, so I didn't care that he withheld it.

1030
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,320
Speaker 1: When it came to my wedding, he was of course

1031
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 1: not invited, nor was one of his brothers who had

1032
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 1: been cheating on and manipulating his partner, who became one

1033
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:49,359
Speaker 1: of my mom's best friends and I still consider an

1034
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: aunt to this day. I cautiously ended up inviting Richard's

1035
00:44:53,200 --> 00:45:00,839
Speaker 1: parents to other brothers and sister. Big mistake. Huge. One day,

1036
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 1: my uncle Justin, who was invited, called me out of

1037
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,760
Speaker 1: the blue to ask for a plus one to the wedding. Now,

1038
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 1: we didn't do plus ones because not only were we

1039
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 1: paying for the wedding ourselves as to nineteen slash twenty

1040
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:15,800
Speaker 1: year olds, which.

1041
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:17,759
Speaker 5: Is impressive and it makes sense that you're doing all

1042
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:19,240
Speaker 5: that DIY.

1043
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 1: With one of us being a UNI student, but we

1044
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 1: also only wanted to celebrate our relationship with people we

1045
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 1: knew and cared about. He said he wanted to bring

1046
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 1: his new girlfriend to my wedding to celebrate because she

1047
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: was important to him, and so was our wedding. That's weird.

1048
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:39,240
Speaker 1: I would be like no. He said he'd be happy

1049
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: to pay for her to go if money was an issue,

1050
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 1: but he understood if we decided not to invite her.

1051
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 1: I told him I talked to Thomas about it and

1052
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: get back to him. I was so uncomfortable by this request,

1053
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 1: as not only had I never met this woman, but

1054
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 1: he'd also just separated from his wife with many years

1055
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 1: that he also shared two children that I had invited

1056
00:45:57,719 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 1: to the wedding.

1057
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I would go back and be like, hey,

1058
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 5: I talked to him my hubby, and uh, I think.

1059
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 4: We just want to keep it to people we know

1060
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 4: really well. No thanks, no, no, no.

1061
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 1: I'm hitting you with a no so quick no, and

1062
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 1: be like, especially after I explained once, can I can

1063
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 1: I get a plus one from my new girlfriend? I'd

1064
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,360
Speaker 1: be like, well, we're really only having people who are

1065
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:25,320
Speaker 1: like super close to us and like know our relationship

1066
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,800
Speaker 1: and know us. Yeah, but it's like she's really important

1067
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:33,879
Speaker 1: to me and it's important. No, no, no, next moving on,

1068
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 1: Thomas agreed to not invite Justin's new girlfriend. So I

1069
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 1: messaged Justin saying we're sorry, but we just weren't comfortable

1070
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 1: with it, and hoped he could still come. He was

1071
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,919
Speaker 1: not happy, and that's what he hit him with another no.

1072
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,120
Speaker 1: He caught me one night to yell at me and

1073
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: tell me it was unacceptable to not invite his girlfriend

1074
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 1: because she was so important to him, and he'd even

1075
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 1: offered to pay for I told him, it was my

1076
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:03,040
Speaker 1: wedding and I got to invite who I wanted there.

1077
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 1: You yeah, and that if he wasn't happy with that,

1078
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 1: he could just not come.

1079
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 4: Whoa, oh my godliant. Yeah, he could be all as

1080
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 4: unhappy as he wants to do.

1081
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 1: I told him it was my wedding and I got

1082
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,319
Speaker 1: to invite who I wanted there, and that if he

1083
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 1: wasn't happy with that, he could just not come. He

1084
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 1: continued to be rate me, even saying how rude it

1085
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 1: was that I didn't even call him to tell him this,

1086
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 1: and just sent him a text until I just hung

1087
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,280
Speaker 1: up on him. The next morning, I received a message

1088
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 1: from my grandma, Richard's and Justin's mom Richard is the dead,

1089
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:38,839
Speaker 1: who told me how disrespectful it was to tell Justin

1090
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,440
Speaker 1: that and how dare I hang up on him? I

1091
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 1: ignored this message, but it didn't end there. I told

1092
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 1: my mom everything that was happening, and she decided to

1093
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:50,360
Speaker 1: send an email to Justin, his parents, sister, and other brother,

1094
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 1: all members of that side of the family who were invited,

1095
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 1: reminding them to be civil, and that the wedding was

1096
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 1: about celebrating Thomas and I. If they couldn't do that

1097
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 1: and they shouldn't come, well, the family came at her. They

1098
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 1: berated her on how she had raised such a disrespectful

1099
00:48:08,360 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: daughter who wouldn't even invite her own father to her wedding.

1100
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 1: See there it is.

1101
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,320
Speaker 4: Ah, and that was the real stories.

1102
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,239
Speaker 1: Why aren't we talking about Why aren't we talking about

1103
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:21,320
Speaker 1: Unk's girlfriend?

1104
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 4: Yeah? Why is she not the disrespectful one?

1105
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 1: Uh? Huh, what's going on? Even the uncle that wasn't

1106
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,160
Speaker 1: invited to the wedding emailed her asking why he wasn't

1107
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 1: included in the email. My goodness, From then on I

1108
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 1: received RSVPs of no from every single member of that family.

1109
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:42,399
Speaker 1: Oh and the way my grandparents RSVP'd no was by

1110
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: tearing up our handmaid invitation and sending it back to

1111
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 1: us in the.

1112
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 4: Mid so petty.

1113
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 1: That honestly made me laugh, because I couldn't believe something

1114
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: so immature had come from someone in their fifties. Not

1115
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 1: only that, but Thomas and I had found out later

1116
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 1: that they had also sought out the pastor who was

1117
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 1: marrying us and contacted him to convince us to invite Richard,

1118
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:06,359
Speaker 1: teach us respect and tell us how sinful our actions were.

1119
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 1: He obviously did not and ignored them.

1120
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 4: You get a it's got a bill you for that.

1121
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 1: Things got so crazy that we weren't sure if they

1122
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 1: would try to show up on the day, so we'd

1123
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: ask Thomas's sword fighting friends, who were invited, if they

1124
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,800
Speaker 1: could be on the lookout. Whaw was. Thankfully, the family

1125
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 1: didn't even show up to this wedding, much to our

1126
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:34,760
Speaker 1: sword fighting friends disappointment and Sophia's. However, the drama didn't

1127
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 1: end there. This whole time, Richard was consistently emailing me,

1128
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 1: trying to make amends to our relationship so he could

1129
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 1: come to the wedding. He was, of course, never going

1130
00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,120
Speaker 1: to be invited, even if somehow we did make amends,

1131
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 1: and I told him this. He denied trying to even

1132
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 1: come to the wedding, but that was clearly a lie.

1133
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,200
Speaker 1: After the wedding happened while I was on my honeymoon,

1134
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:56,960
Speaker 1: he continued to email me and started sending me hurtful

1135
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 1: and manipulative emails. Again. I told him to stop contacting me,

1136
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: and even Thomas had sent him an email under his

1137
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:07,400
Speaker 1: lawyer father's guidance and advice to stop contacting me or

1138
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 1: we would be taking him to court. Richard then sent

1139
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 1: a threatening email to Thomas and we decided to go

1140
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 1: get a DVO against him. When we got home. Upon

1141
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:22,640
Speaker 1: receiving the documents, Richard went into full blown person freak out.

1142
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,120
Speaker 1: He called and emailed my mom, berating her and telling

1143
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:29,320
Speaker 1: her to make me cancel the DVO, which she refused

1144
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 1: and told him that she supported me in making whatever

1145
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,040
Speaker 1: decision I felt was best. He even got one of

1146
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 1: my brothers to try and tell me to drop it.

1147
00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 1: This brother is one of the most thoughtful people I

1148
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 1: know and hates conflict, which Richard knew and used to

1149
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 1: manipulate him into doing this. This is where the two

1150
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:49,160
Speaker 1: stories intersect. Who While all this drama was going on,

1151
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 1: I was trying to confide in Stacy about everything that

1152
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:55,920
Speaker 1: was happening, thinking I would have her support. Instead, she

1153
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 1: would just start talking about her own dad who had

1154
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,239
Speaker 1: cheated on her mom but was still actively involved in

1155
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,640
Speaker 1: her life as a loving father, or scroll on her

1156
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:06,319
Speaker 1: phone while I was trying to talk to her. It

1157
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 1: was in that moment that I realized how little of

1158
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 1: a friend she truly was. She ended up not telling

1159
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:15,399
Speaker 1: me about big things happening in her life despite any

1160
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 1: efforts on my part to remain friends, and I only

1161
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:21,279
Speaker 1: found out about them through her posts on Facebook. Not

1162
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:23,799
Speaker 1: only that, but I was studying a beauty degree at

1163
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 1: the time, and so i'd do some beauty treatments on her.

1164
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:29,360
Speaker 1: Even though she'd agreed to pay me for the products

1165
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,359
Speaker 1: I'd used, she never did, and she'd brag about how

1166
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 1: between me and her mom she could get all her

1167
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:37,360
Speaker 1: beauty treatments for free.

1168
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:38,360
Speaker 3: Dang.

1169
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 1: She continued to ghost me, and so I decided I

1170
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:45,000
Speaker 1: was done. I ended up settling with Richard outside of

1171
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 1: court on a no contact agreement for two years, all

1172
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 1: the same rules as a DVO, without him having one

1173
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 1: against him, and I never messaged Stacy again. Oh and

1174
00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:58,360
Speaker 1: to top off all this drama surrounding the wedding, a

1175
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:00,960
Speaker 1: week before my wedding, my mother and Lae decided, without

1176
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 1: talking to myself or Thomas, to invite all of her

1177
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:06,280
Speaker 1: Facebook friends to our wedding.

1178
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:09,439
Speaker 4: How many Facebook friends does she have?

1179
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:14,840
Speaker 5: Or she's like, yeah, I've in writing all my Facebook friends.

1180
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 1: Are like, oh, you can't do that, yeah, Betty Beth

1181
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:21,920
Speaker 1: and Margaret. Margaret said she's a baby.

1182
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 5: Margaret's out of town that weekend, so I don't think

1183
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 5: it's gonna work out. And also Tina, Tina doesn't really.

1184
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 1: Like to go out. Yeah, Tina's not really a huge flake. Yeah.

1185
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 1: Thankfully no extra people ended up coming, because who in

1186
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:38,479
Speaker 1: their right mind thinks that showing up to a wedding

1187
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 1: when you're not officially invited is okay? So here are

1188
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:45,280
Speaker 1: some updates because I know you all love your updates.

1189
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 1: After Thomas and I had our first baby, Richard's mom

1190
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 1: was diagnosed with cancer and it was terminal. I had

1191
00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:55,879
Speaker 1: made my peace with never seeing any of them again,

1192
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:57,839
Speaker 1: because why would I want someone in my life who

1193
00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 1: treats me the way they did. Of course meant they

1194
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 1: all felt entitled to see my child, and I was

1195
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:08,360
Speaker 1: consistently contacted by Richard's father, particularly, but also by Richard

1196
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:10,879
Speaker 1: a couple of times. This was after the two year

1197
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 1: no contact agreement ended about how badly she wanted to

1198
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 1: see my baby before she passed away. Thomas and I were,

1199
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 1: of course not comfortable with this, so we didn't contact

1200
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 1: them back. We saw them at my brother's graduation after

1201
00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 1: Richard's mom had passed and his dad confronted me about

1202
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:30,120
Speaker 1: how she had wanted to see my baby. I told

1203
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 1: him that we were not comfortable with that and kept

1204
00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 1: our distance for the rest of the night. And I

1205
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:37,520
Speaker 1: get it. Look, it's like, sure, you have a regret, right,

1206
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 1: you're at the end of your life. You're like, I

1207
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: want to see the baby. But you know what, just

1208
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:45,560
Speaker 1: because you want it doesn't mean you get it.

1209
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, because you know, just get kind of whatever you

1210
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:52,239
Speaker 5: want when you like, if you got whatever you want

1211
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:53,720
Speaker 5: when you were passing, why then.

1212
00:53:54,760 --> 00:53:57,359
Speaker 1: My stepdad and mom were watching them the whole time,

1213
00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:00,200
Speaker 1: making sure they didn't try to pull anything. Because of this,

1214
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 1: I am now no longer alive to them, so none

1215
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:06,319
Speaker 1: of them have tried to contact me since. And that

1216
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 1: is the way I like it. The trash go ahead

1217
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 1: and took itself outpeep As for Stacy, years later, after

1218
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:15,839
Speaker 1: I'd had two kids, her sister sent me a friend

1219
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 1: request on Instagram, which I just dismissed. Then a couple

1220
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:22,960
Speaker 1: of days later, while we were having a family night out,

1221
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 1: I ran into her and she confronted me. By the way,

1222
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 1: while my husband wasn't with me, I was waiting in

1223
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 1: line to get us some churos over how I'd apparently

1224
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:35,240
Speaker 1: ignored Stacy and cut her out and treated her so poorly.

1225
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:38,920
Speaker 5: Oh my goodness, Stacy, were you not there for your

1226
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 5: whole life?

1227
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:43,240
Speaker 1: By the way, you wouldn't be treating your ears poorly

1228
00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 1: if you listened to full episodes with stories like this

1229
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 1: on Spotify. iHeartRadio, Apple podcasts. Wherever you listen to podcasts,

1230
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,880
Speaker 1: Just search Okay, story time and you've got fifty three

1231
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:58,280
Speaker 1: times twenty four hours worth of stories. That's twelve hundred

1232
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 1: and seventy two ish math is right hours. I told

1233
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:05,480
Speaker 1: her it was the other way around, and that Stacy

1234
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: had lied about what happened. Oh, we're confronting her. And

1235
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:10,880
Speaker 1: she yelled at me about how that was incorrect and

1236
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:13,640
Speaker 1: her sister would never do that. I cut her off

1237
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:15,799
Speaker 1: and said I wasn't going to argue, and that she

1238
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:18,440
Speaker 1: could believe what she wanted to believe, but that I

1239
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:23,160
Speaker 1: was done talking to her. She spat finely and stormed off.

1240
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 1: As for Thomas and me, we are coming up on

1241
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 1: our nine year wedding anniversary.

1242
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 5: Look at you push past all of that family drama

1243
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 5: made it and three kids later, we are really happy

1244
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 5: together and.

1245
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,160
Speaker 4: Look at that. Wow, look at that Dakota.

1246
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:42,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess, Hey, happily married for nine years.

1247
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 4: Being next to each other for nine years.

1248
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 1: Well, we don't know if they are. They could have

1249
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:49,240
Speaker 1: slept next to each other for nine months and then gone.

1250
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 4: Hey, okay, let's two different rooms.

1251
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:55,719
Speaker 5: Separate bedrooms, which honestly is like, sometimes it's a good

1252
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:56,879
Speaker 5: you know, it's a good thing.

1253
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 4: Some couples have separate bedrooms.

1254
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:01,279
Speaker 1: My parents did that because because of the snoring, they

1255
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:02,719
Speaker 1: literally could not. I think it's good.

1256
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,440
Speaker 4: I mean, it's also just like, sometimes it's nice to

1257
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 4: have your own space.

1258
00:56:05,440 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 1: It is. Sometimes you just want to sleep in a

1259
00:56:08,520 --> 00:56:09,280
Speaker 1: bed by yourself.

1260
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 4: That's okay.

1261
00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:16,280
Speaker 1: Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you do be able to choose anyway.

1262
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 1: I'm running a successful business that continues to grow, which

1263
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 1: is my dream since I was a little girl. My

1264
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:23,960
Speaker 1: husband is doing amazing at his job, and we continue

1265
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 1: to hold those that mean a lot to us close.

1266
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 1: We hope to be able to have a party for

1267
00:56:27,960 --> 00:56:31,280
Speaker 1: our ten year anniversary without drama, to celebrate the life

1268
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 1: we've built together. Damn, that's the end of that story. Hey,

1269
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:36,720
Speaker 1: it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories.

1270
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:39,000
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1271
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:43,359
Speaker 5: My mother is causing problems with my fiance's family. I

1272
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:44,600
Speaker 5: can't stand her.

1273
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:47,280
Speaker 1: Ah, then you should sit down. Maybe.

1274
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:50,319
Speaker 5: So this is a weird situation. My mom and I

1275
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 5: haven't had the best relationship. She has a history of

1276
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:56,440
Speaker 5: emotional abuse. I didn't see her from ages twelve to

1277
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 5: eighteen and live with my dad exclusively. There was a

1278
00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:03,320
Speaker 5: no contact order issued by the court after multiple shrinks

1279
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:07,359
Speaker 5: evaluated her. By the way, this comes from Wetted Throwaway one,

1280
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 5: two three, and if you want to submit your own stories,

1281
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 5: go to our Slashowkay story Time Separate it. So after

1282
00:57:13,719 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 5: high school we started rebuilding our relationship and things have

1283
00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 5: generally been good. We haven't had any blow ups in

1284
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:23,160
Speaker 5: a long time. She and my fiance, Marie twenty eight

1285
00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 5: got along great. Everything seemed perfect. She threw Marie a

1286
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:30,920
Speaker 5: beautiful bridal shower out of fancy winery in the area.

1287
00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 5: My mom likes to show off by spending lots of

1288
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 5: money on parties. There were about forty people in attendance.

1289
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 5: The shower went great and everyone was happy until a

1290
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,680
Speaker 5: couple of days later, when she texted Marie's mom and

1291
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 5: asked if she could come over with a bottle of

1292
00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 5: wine and talk. It was an unusual request. She went

1293
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 5: to my mother in law's house and talked to her

1294
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 5: for an hour and a half about how trashy Marie's

1295
00:57:56,040 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 5: brother girlfriend, Sarah is. Sarah's seventeen and has had a

1296
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:03,000
Speaker 5: pretty rough life, but she's a nice girl all things considered.

1297
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:05,640
Speaker 4: Mother in law treats her like a daughter.

1298
00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 5: My mom said she ate too much at the shower

1299
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 5: even though everyone had multiple servings according to multiple people,

1300
00:58:11,520 --> 00:58:14,240
Speaker 5: and was classless, trashy, and wasn't good enough for my

1301
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 5: future brother in law.

1302
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:21,520
Speaker 4: She ate too much, sue a girl for being hungry.

1303
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:22,400
Speaker 4: That's so weird.

1304
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 5: She also happens to be not white. She's Latina, and

1305
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 5: my mom grew up in a rural area with lots

1306
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:35,880
Speaker 5: of migrant workers who she's always looked down on. According

1307
00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 5: to everyone we have asked, Sarah was very well behaved

1308
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 5: and didn't do anything to justify this response. My mom

1309
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 5: also said that she would only be allowed one meal

1310
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,160
Speaker 5: at the wedding and rehearsal dinner, which is not her

1311
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:47,919
Speaker 5: call to make.

1312
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:51,720
Speaker 1: We're rationing food. Now you're done, you're out, You're canceled

1313
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: everyone eat. She's too fat and I hate her because

1314
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:59,480
Speaker 1: of who she looks like or what she looks like.

1315
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:02,880
Speaker 5: Ah says she'll pay for extra food, but my mom

1316
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:05,280
Speaker 5: said that it's not about money. She said, Sarah needs

1317
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 5: to learn some etiquette.

1318
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 1: Bit m, you got me almost cursing, lady, you need

1319
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: to learn some etiquette. Yeah, maybe you should learn how

1320
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:15,920
Speaker 1: to keep your mouth shut. Mm mmmmmmm.

1321
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 5: A little more context. My mom works a corporate job

1322
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 5: and makes good money. My mother in law is self

1323
00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:24,560
Speaker 5: employed as a housekeeper. My mom hires mother in law

1324
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:27,560
Speaker 5: to clean her house. It's a weird class power dynamic.

1325
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 4: WHOA.

1326
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 5: My mom has always had a very elitist attitude and

1327
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:33,480
Speaker 5: looks down on those who aren't doing as well as her.

1328
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 5: My mother in law is normally not one to take

1329
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:38,680
Speaker 5: crap like this. She really cares about this girl like

1330
00:59:38,720 --> 00:59:41,400
Speaker 5: her own daughter. But out of respect for me, she

1331
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 5: held her tongue and took it for an hour and

1332
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:47,120
Speaker 5: a half. Afterward, she called Marie and told her about it.

1333
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:51,080
Speaker 5: Marie was devastated because it became very apparent that my

1334
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 5: mom doesn't like her brother and family is the most

1335
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 5: important thing to her. By extension, I was upset to

1336
00:59:58,000 --> 01:00:01,000
Speaker 5: my mother has no business doing this, It's not her place.

1337
01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:04,320
Speaker 5: The next morning, I emailed her and said that what

1338
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:07,120
Speaker 5: she said was very hurtful, that she shouldn't have done it,

1339
01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:09,920
Speaker 5: that Sarah can eat whatever she wants, and that the

1340
01:00:09,960 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 5: shower will forever be remembered for this and not the

1341
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 5: actual beautiful event that occurred. She responded kind of flabbergasted

1342
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:20,320
Speaker 5: that I would think this thing. It was a misunderstanding,

1343
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:22,760
Speaker 5: and she's very hurt by my email. She said she

1344
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:25,560
Speaker 5: was only trying to help Sarah. She seesed Marie and

1345
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:27,440
Speaker 5: mother in law, and that she wished we would have

1346
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:30,360
Speaker 5: spoken in person about this. Then she says that she

1347
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 5: doesn't understand why Marie is upset about this, said Sarah

1348
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:37,000
Speaker 5: needed an attitude check and that she isn't as cute

1349
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:42,560
Speaker 5: as she thinks she is. At the end, she throws

1350
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 5: in a jab directed at me and says that I

1351
01:00:44,800 --> 01:00:47,040
Speaker 5: treated her like my dad treated me in an incident

1352
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:49,680
Speaker 5: last year, which was not at all the same and

1353
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:50,600
Speaker 5: not relevant to this.

1354
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 4: Conversation at all.

1355
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:54,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, now you're just trying to shift perspective, be like

1356
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 1: I'm actually a victim. You're treating me like the I'm

1357
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 1: being a victim. I'm victim.

1358
01:00:58,480 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 4: This set me off.

1359
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,480
Speaker 5: My dad, who along with his wife, raised me while

1360
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 5: she was in awed to speak to me, had nothing

1361
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:08,240
Speaker 5: to do with this. I fired back, perhaps too hastily,

1362
01:01:08,800 --> 01:01:11,240
Speaker 5: in an email that recalled the six years she didn't

1363
01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:14,560
Speaker 5: see me because she was court ordered not to for

1364
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 5: being abusive, the fact that I don't remember most of

1365
01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 5: my childhood because of her, and how the white trash

1366
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:23,440
Speaker 5: woman with three divorces and married first cousins has zero

1367
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:26,640
Speaker 5: room to judge people on their classiness and an etiquette.

1368
01:01:26,920 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 4: E Ope, he did not pull any punches.

1369
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:31,720
Speaker 1: How is it? Do you think they're all three married

1370
01:01:31,720 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 1: to each other? Do you think they're married into a thruple.

1371
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:36,680
Speaker 4: Potentially thrule cousins potentially?

1372
01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:39,520
Speaker 1: I think so. I hope they're. Yeah, they're a family.

1373
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 4: Trees a circle.

1374
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:45,320
Speaker 1: Oh, the family tree is a bush. Tom is a

1375
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 1: flat circle.

1376
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:47,520
Speaker 4: She responded that she.

1377
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 5: Would not be able to attend the wedding. After a

1378
01:01:50,400 --> 01:01:53,240
Speaker 5: lot of discussion, I decided I wanted to give her

1379
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 5: an out of the hole. She dug and called her,

1380
01:01:55,720 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 5: leaving a voicemail apologizing. He texted back, saying she wanted

1381
01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:02,960
Speaker 5: to speak in person. To Marie and me, so I

1382
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:06,280
Speaker 5: proposed a time for the next day. She responded the

1383
01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:09,280
Speaker 5: next morning this morning, saying that she thought about it

1384
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 5: and nothing is going to change her mind. She wished

1385
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 5: us all the path. We're still operating under the assumption

1386
01:02:15,400 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 5: that she'll change her mind and come again. She is

1387
01:02:18,440 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 5: my mother. Our relationship is forever changed, but I still

1388
01:02:22,240 --> 01:02:24,880
Speaker 5: want her there. I also think that she isn't going

1389
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 5: to be able to spin this to her friends and

1390
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 5: family in a way that doesn't make her look bad.

1391
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 5: She is big into her image and I don't think

1392
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:36,960
Speaker 5: she could handle that. However, I am making no moves

1393
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 5: towards having her come. The ball is one hundred percent

1394
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:43,600
Speaker 5: in her court. Now for the complications. We have about

1395
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:46,040
Speaker 5: one hundred guests coming, and about twenty eight of them

1396
01:02:46,040 --> 01:02:48,560
Speaker 5: are her friends and family. Do we let them know

1397
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:51,160
Speaker 5: about this? She's not coming, so no hard feelings. If

1398
01:02:51,200 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 5: you don't, do we uninvite them? What if none of

1399
01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:57,040
Speaker 5: them show. She gave us a fair amount of money

1400
01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 5: for the wedding. I'm tempted to give it back to her.

1401
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 5: We don't need it. We saved enough ourselves. She used

1402
01:03:02,440 --> 01:03:04,200
Speaker 5: to use money as a control thing, but I make

1403
01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:06,840
Speaker 5: more than her now, so she can't. I don't need her,

1404
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:09,520
Speaker 5: and I think that scares her a little. However, I

1405
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 5: also don't see a downside to keeping it too.

1406
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:15,920
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, really, don't give the money back to

1407
01:03:15,960 --> 01:03:18,760
Speaker 1: the racist. No, keep their money so they can't use

1408
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:19,640
Speaker 1: it for racism.

1409
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:22,200
Speaker 5: I think any judge would laugh her out of court

1410
01:03:22,240 --> 01:03:24,800
Speaker 5: if she sued to get it back. Quite frankly, I

1411
01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:26,640
Speaker 5: think I'm owed it, and I'm going to use it

1412
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:28,880
Speaker 5: to pay for her friends if they still end up coming.

1413
01:03:29,520 --> 01:03:32,040
Speaker 5: We hired private security for both the rehearsal dinner and

1414
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:34,520
Speaker 5: the wedding. This is not without precedent.

1415
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:35,200
Speaker 1: Oh no.

1416
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,880
Speaker 5: There are multiple instances where my mom made a public

1417
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:43,160
Speaker 5: spectacle growing up over bad situations. She attacked my dad

1418
01:03:43,200 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 5: at a middle school band concert in front of all

1419
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:48,600
Speaker 5: of my classmates after she'd been served papers earlier of

1420
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,160
Speaker 5: the day so he could get full custody of me.

1421
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 5: I do love her despite all her shortcomings. She's my mom.

1422
01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 5: I just can't stand out judgmental she can be. I

1423
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 5: know everyone will regret it if she does. Well, you know,

1424
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:05,080
Speaker 5: I don't think Marie will regret. I don't think Marie's

1425
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:06,400
Speaker 5: side will really care.

1426
01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:08,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think anyone will regret I don't even

1427
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:11,360
Speaker 1: think honestly, you have to regret it. No. I mean,

1428
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:14,080
Speaker 1: you know, we've all got a lot of strange feelings

1429
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:17,640
Speaker 1: about our parents and people who's really close and weird

1430
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 1: strange relationships with. Yeah, but yeah, it doesn't sound like

1431
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:28,320
Speaker 1: your relationship is built on a solid foundation of snorbility,

1432
01:04:28,720 --> 01:04:28,960
Speaker 1: you know.

1433
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:30,120
Speaker 4: But there's an update.

1434
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 5: A couple months have passed and things have finally settled down.

1435
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 5: Things were fairly stressful before the wedding. My mom tried

1436
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 5: playing some mind games with us after she told us

1437
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:42,720
Speaker 5: she had thought about it and wasn't coming. I stopped

1438
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:45,600
Speaker 5: responding to her. A couple days after that, she texted

1439
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:47,560
Speaker 5: asking if she could drop something off for the wedding,

1440
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:51,720
Speaker 5: which was obviously a way to get back in.

1441
01:04:50,760 --> 01:04:51,840
Speaker 4: Which I didn't respond to.

1442
01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:57,120
Speaker 5: Finally, a week before she texted myself, Marie, and mother

1443
01:04:57,120 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 5: in law apologizing in a fairly half budded way. She

1444
01:05:00,800 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 5: called Marie and left a voicemail as well, also saying

1445
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:06,240
Speaker 5: she'd call me and mother in law, but didn't call

1446
01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 5: me or mother in law. Marie texted with her a

1447
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:11,880
Speaker 5: little bit, saying she could come to the wedding. A

1448
01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:15,400
Speaker 5: few hours passed and I still never got a call.

1449
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 5: So Marie texted her, I hope you call op and

1450
01:05:18,760 --> 01:05:21,640
Speaker 5: mother in law, and within a few minutes she called me.

1451
01:05:21,920 --> 01:05:24,520
Speaker 5: I let her leave a voicemail. We had a little

1452
01:05:24,560 --> 01:05:27,800
Speaker 5: scrambling to do. We hired the security guard, made other

1453
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:32,360
Speaker 5: arrangements for pet sitting. You should also hire your sword friends, yeah,

1454
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,040
Speaker 5: or maybe last o piece sword friends.

1455
01:05:34,120 --> 01:05:38,600
Speaker 1: Yes. The previous nary we had some sword sword wielding guards.

1456
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:39,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, for their wedding.

1457
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:42,720
Speaker 1: They weren't really swords, they were sticks.

1458
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:44,720
Speaker 5: My mom was going to take our cat while we

1459
01:05:44,720 --> 01:05:47,120
Speaker 5: were on our honeymoon for two weeks. We had generally

1460
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:50,880
Speaker 5: watched each other's cats while on vacation and basically eliminated

1461
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:53,720
Speaker 5: any dependency we had on her. It wasn't too hard,

1462
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,640
Speaker 5: but it was additional work. The resal dinner was fine.

1463
01:05:57,680 --> 01:06:00,520
Speaker 5: My mom and her boyfriend sat by themselves. No one

1464
01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:02,840
Speaker 5: would talk to them, so I tried to make them

1465
01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:05,120
Speaker 5: feel less awkward by talking to them for a while,

1466
01:06:05,320 --> 01:06:07,920
Speaker 5: as did Marie. She has been a great sport for

1467
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,640
Speaker 5: all of this. Marie had planned to rent this diamond

1468
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:13,800
Speaker 5: necklace from some jewelry rental website to wear. But when

1469
01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:16,000
Speaker 5: my mom got wind of that, she did it before

1470
01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 5: Marie could, so she gave us the necklace at the

1471
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:19,480
Speaker 5: RSAL dinner.

1472
01:06:20,200 --> 01:06:21,560
Speaker 4: Yet another control.

1473
01:06:21,320 --> 01:06:23,760
Speaker 5: Thing in my opinion, But I was almost done with her,

1474
01:06:23,840 --> 01:06:26,880
Speaker 5: so I didn't find it. We got married as planned.

1475
01:06:27,040 --> 01:06:28,920
Speaker 5: My mom was on her best behavior, but you could

1476
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:32,680
Speaker 5: still tell something was totally off. She had super crazy

1477
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:35,680
Speaker 5: eyes the whole time. The security guard looming around probably

1478
01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:38,000
Speaker 5: didn't help, and this guy was all business.

1479
01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:38,920
Speaker 4: He was amazing.

1480
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:43,360
Speaker 5: During pictures, she did some weird bowing gesture to me

1481
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 5: as if I was somehow subjugating her by not putting

1482
01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:47,040
Speaker 5: up with her crap.

1483
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:48,960
Speaker 4: I mostly ignored her the whole night.

1484
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:51,600
Speaker 1: Maybe she was just trying to be really polite. Actually

1485
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:55,240
Speaker 1: she's like I read that the deep bow is very polite.

1486
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:57,680
Speaker 5: The morning after I met her at the hotel cafe

1487
01:06:57,760 --> 01:06:59,840
Speaker 5: and dropped off the necklace, there were a couple of

1488
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:01,840
Speaker 5: family members there, so we talked for a little bit.

1489
01:07:02,040 --> 01:07:04,280
Speaker 5: I don't think they knew what was going on that

1490
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:04,800
Speaker 5: I left.

1491
01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:07,600
Speaker 1: But you should never leave us never.

1492
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:10,280
Speaker 5: You should listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Yes,

1493
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 5: just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or iHeartRadio.

1494
01:07:12,880 --> 01:07:13,960
Speaker 4: And search a pokey story time.

1495
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:14,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.

1496
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 5: We went on our honeymoon for two weeks, came back,

1497
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:19,400
Speaker 5: and I've been living our lives as a married couple

1498
01:07:19,760 --> 01:07:21,919
Speaker 5: sans my mom being in the picture. I haven't heard

1499
01:07:21,920 --> 01:07:24,600
Speaker 5: from her. I haven't tried to talk to her. Marie

1500
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:26,680
Speaker 5: went to see her counselor about all of it, and

1501
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:29,160
Speaker 5: she also confirmed, which I guess I knew but didn't

1502
01:07:29,200 --> 01:07:32,840
Speaker 5: want to admit, that my mom is crazy. It's actually

1503
01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:35,520
Speaker 5: been nice with her not being around. I feel more free.

1504
01:07:35,960 --> 01:07:38,200
Speaker 5: I guess I hope deep down that there's a way

1505
01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:40,120
Speaker 5: that she can be made not crazy.

1506
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:41,640
Speaker 1: But I'm not old in

1507
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:44,280
Speaker 5: My breath, and that is the end of that story.