1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: All right time now, guys for today's Strawberry Letter. If 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:07,600 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, on dating, on sex, on work, 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: on parenting, and more, please submit your letter to the 4 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM dot com crew and click submit Strawberry 5 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,080 Speaker 1: Letter and we'll take care of you. We'll read your 6 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: letter live. It could be your letter live on the air, 7 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: like we're reading this one right right, m answer right 8 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 1: right right. Buggle up and hold on tight. We got 9 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: it for you here. It is the Strawberry let us subject. 10 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: If you don't get yo mama, That's what it says 11 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,319 Speaker 1: in the title. If you don't get yo mama, I 12 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: will steveson. Dear Stephen Shirley. I have found the man 13 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: of my dreams and we've been together for five years. 14 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: We have one child together, and I'm pregnant with our 15 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:51,200 Speaker 1: second child. Our relationship is great, but my boyfriend's mother 16 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,319 Speaker 1: is a huge problem, and I'm fed up with her 17 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: inserting herself into every aspect of our lives. She comments 18 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: and how we pair and our finances, my decorating style, 19 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 1: how I cook, and my housekeeping skills. Recently, our child 20 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: was sick and she caused a big scene in the 21 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: hospital saying that it was my fault for not taking 22 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: better care of her grandchild. My child is young, and 23 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: she constantly critiques him, which makes him not like her 24 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: very much. Last week, she told me that she hopes 25 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,320 Speaker 1: the new baby is not a bret like my toddler. 26 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: My boyfriend seems to overlook her insults when she goes 27 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,759 Speaker 1: in on him, but it's hard for me to hear 28 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: her telling him that he's a sorry excuse for a man. 29 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: I have told her that her behavior is unacceptable, and 30 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: she said that she's just giving us much needed advice 31 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: and constructive criticism because we're young and don't know anything. Stephen, Shirley, 32 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: we are in our early thirties and we can take 33 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 1: care of ourselves. I'm starting to think that she might 34 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: be right about my boyfriend being sorry because he won't 35 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: talk to her about her foul mouth and bad attitude. 36 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: I have told him that she is no longer welcome 37 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: in our home and that I do not want her 38 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: to have a relationship with our new baby. I don't 39 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: need this stress during the last trimester of my pregnancy. 40 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: How can I get this man to step up and 41 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: get his mom in check? Please advise, all right, First 42 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 1: of all, let me tell you this. Not welcoming her 43 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,920 Speaker 1: in your home and not wanting her to have a 44 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: relationship with the new baby, that's kind of harsh. Okay, 45 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 1: now is your boyfriend and mama's boy I have to 46 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,920 Speaker 1: say yes to that. I have to say also that 47 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 1: you're right, your man should be checking his mom in 48 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: a respectful way. She is too messy, she is too 49 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 1: involved in your relationship, she's too petty. She does need 50 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: to get her some business. I'm in agreement with all 51 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: of that. But unless he says something to her, she's 52 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: not gonna she's not gonna pull up. You've already said something. 53 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,079 Speaker 1: But you're right, you don't need this kind of stress 54 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: in your last trimester of your pregnancy. But but how 55 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 1: dare she though? I mean, what's what's all this disrespect? 56 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: Has this been going on for the entire five years? 57 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: I can't believe you guys have allowed it to go 58 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,440 Speaker 1: on for so long. Now I'm gonna ask you this. 59 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,080 Speaker 1: Do you think it has anything to do with the 60 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:07,120 Speaker 1: fact that you guys aren't married Five years, two kids later, 61 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,239 Speaker 1: that's a lot. Maybe you know she might be messy 62 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: and all of that, you know with her ways and everything, 63 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 1: but she might also be old school and she wants 64 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: you to to stop having children and making you know, 65 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,720 Speaker 1: making babies and all this and go ahead and tie 66 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 1: the knot. You know. Maybe that's where this is really 67 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: coming from. Just something to think about there, Steve. The 68 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: mama is out of line, yeah, and period. Its ain't 69 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: got nothing to do really with the boy or the girl. 70 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: The mama is way out of line now. With that 71 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 1: being said, whose job is it to check him the sun? 72 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 1: But Shirley hid it. That's a mama's boy now, and 73 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: we got a little problem, but I got news for it. 74 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: He doesn't even have to be a mama's boy because 75 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: it's not that he's over there all the time. It's 76 00:03:55,600 --> 00:04:00,640 Speaker 1: that she interjects herself into y'all's every aspect to your life, 77 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: and you just won't get him to say nothing. The 78 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: dude that don't say nothing to his mama's really not 79 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: because he's a mama's boy. This ain't nothing new to him. 80 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: Let me get to the letter. She comments on how 81 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: we're parent, our finances, my decorating style, how I cook, 82 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 1: my house cleaning, and then your child got sick and 83 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: she calls a big scene at the hospital, saying it 84 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 1: was my fault for not taking better care of her grandchild. 85 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: It's this helth of crazy. That's how you get a 86 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: person arrested. That's how you get child protective services, That's 87 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: how you get children taken from people. She's got to 88 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: be crazy. Once you start making these statements in the hospital, 89 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: they start checking real closer. Yeah, my child is young 90 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: and she constantly critiques him, which makes him not like 91 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: her very much. See, this is an old battle ax 92 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: right here, this health of right here. She ain't happy 93 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: with herself, So she ain't happy with you, the way 94 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 1: you're parent, the way you clean, the way she ain't 95 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,440 Speaker 1: happy with the grandchild. She ain't happy with her son. 96 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: This is old old battle acts. Last week she told 97 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: me she hopes the new baby is not a brat 98 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: like my toddler's. She's serious. What's wrong with her? Man, 99 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: She's just a nasty person. My boyfriend seems to overlook 100 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: her insults when she goes in on him, but it's 101 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: hard for me to hear her telling him that he's 102 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: a side excuse for a man she raised him. It's 103 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: her son, You're side excuse for a man you raised. 104 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,679 Speaker 1: It so you know, let's get some of these fingers 105 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 1: pointing at you. I told her that her behavior is unacceptable, 106 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: and she said that she's just given us much needed 107 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: advice and constructive criticism. Take the word constructive out. It's 108 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: just criticism and it's not much needed. It's that you 109 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 1: do it all the time because you funk it, because 110 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: you ain't happy with yourself. He says, she's doing that 111 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: because you're young and you don't know anything. Stephen, Shirley, 112 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: We're in our early thirties and we can take care 113 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,000 Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm starting. She thinks she might be right 114 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 1: about my boyfriend being sorry. Okay, she's winning now, want 115 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,240 Speaker 1: she gets you over there? Leaning that that right there? 116 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: She winning. Don't let her do it. You'll do Day's sorry. 117 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 1: He just won't talk to her about her fire mouth 118 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 1: and bad attitude. You know why this ain't new to him. 119 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,919 Speaker 1: He grew up with her, her bad attitude and file mouth. 120 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 1: He grew up with it. He don't even here no more. 121 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 1: It's the norm for him. This is new to you. 122 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: So what you're tripping on he's made the adjustment to 123 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: he don't even hear her. Wow, he's been cut her out. 124 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 1: All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of 125 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 1: your response to today's Strubberry letter. If you don't get 126 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: your mama, I will at twenty three after the hour, 127 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: right after you're listening. All right, Come on, Steve, let's 128 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: recap today's Strubberry letter. If you don't get your mama recapped. 129 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: The old mama is an old battle axe. She's not happy. 130 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: She better. She evil. She don't like nothing. She debased 131 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: this woman out in the hospital. Damn near got in trouble. 132 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: Talk about you hoping the new baby. Ain't like just 133 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:23,080 Speaker 1: brought you to raise. Wow. She evil. She don't like 134 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: the way the lady could clean dude house parents nothing 135 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 1: she e. She say her son is a side excuse 136 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 1: for a man, and that's who she raised. Now I'm 137 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: starting to think she might be right about my boyfriend 138 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 1: being sid He's not. He's just used to her because 139 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 1: he won't talk to her about her firemouth and bad attitude. 140 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: Once again, because he used to her. He grew up 141 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 1: with the firemouth and the attitude. That's just how his 142 00:07:55,840 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 1: mama is. She didn't just get this way. I've told 143 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: him that she is no longer welcome. I've told him 144 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: that she's no longer welcome in our home and that 145 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: I do not want her to have relationship with our 146 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 1: knew baker. Okay, that's not cool. I got she ain't 147 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: cool at all. But two wrongs ain't gonna make it right. 148 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: You told your husband that his mama ain't welcome in 149 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: our home no more. You got him in a bad spot. 150 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 1: You got him in the horribles because it's crazy. As 151 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: wrong as she is, it's still his mama. He loved them. 152 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 1: I don't need this stress during my last trimester of 153 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: my pregnancy. How can I get my man to step 154 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: over and get his mom in check? His mom has 155 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: never been in a check. This ain't new, so I 156 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: don't know. You know, he's got to sit his mom 157 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: down and go, mom, this my family. I loved them, 158 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: and he's got to make the case in point to 159 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: her so she can lighten up, or you're gonna lose, 160 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: you know us, because I'm not gonna keep bringing my 161 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: girl around. But it's here for you to do this 162 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: to her, and maybe she'll come around. I don't know, 163 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: but I don't think she will because she old old 164 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 1: heaven and old battles. Oh, I'm talking about cranky with 165 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 1: an ankle on the big old rusty. Ain't she's mean though, 166 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 1: she's a mean she's a mean woman. Man. It's hard 167 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: to deal with people that stink. She did everything but 168 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: call her ugly. She really did. She didn't sult her everything, 169 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 1: her cooking or cleaning, her decorating style, how they parent 170 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 1: their finances. Called the baby a brad right, called the 171 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,959 Speaker 1: baby braid. Her husband as a boyfriend is a side 172 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 1: excuseful man. Yeah. And then she said they need it, 173 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 1: they need her advice because they're young and they don't 174 00:09:56,040 --> 00:10:05,000 Speaker 1: know anything. Yeah. And then she's pregnant with their second child. 175 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: Who she's right, she doesn't need that kind of stress. No, 176 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: she don't. Your main concern is the healthy you'll bake. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, 177 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 1: he definitely needs to sit down and and talk to 178 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 1: his mom. Maybe they can do it together. You know, look, 179 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: let's try to get along as a family. Huh you 180 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: mean together with the baby mom. Yeah, I mean, maybe 181 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 1: the two of them can set the mom down and say, look, 182 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,199 Speaker 1: we we can't do this. Because if they permit present 183 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: a united front to the mom, maybe she'll get it. 184 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,960 Speaker 1: And where where's the dad? Where's her husband? She doesn't 185 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:49,720 Speaker 1: have one in all this. He left when he was 186 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:58,839 Speaker 1: a boy, when the son so, yeah, he got hit 187 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:04,280 Speaker 1: by a car when he No, I'm just saying he 188 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,839 Speaker 1: father might not be in his life at all. Nor 189 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: is he trying to get back over there because he 190 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: got to deal with her. Yeah, but they gotta do 191 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: something because I you know, like I said, I think 192 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: it's harsh if she doesn't want her in the new 193 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,679 Speaker 1: baby's life and not to come over there anymore. They 194 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: have to work. Yeah, yeah, she called him a brat, right, Yeah, 195 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:32,439 Speaker 1: she's she's a mean, mean one mama right there. Man? 196 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but you're right, he probably tuned her out. 197 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: Oh he don't even Yeah, but does she just walk 198 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: up in their house and start talking or what? How 199 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,719 Speaker 1: does she get in there? They have to let her 200 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 1: in sign probably over the dough. Yeah, they're gonna have 201 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: to sit and sit her down and really really talk 202 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: to her and tell her about herself in a respectful way. 203 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 1: H good luck with Dada. But her question is how 204 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: can she get her man to step up and get 205 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: his mom in check. Maybe if they both do it together, 206 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:16,480 Speaker 1: because yeah, her son has tuned them out, tuned her out, 207 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 1: like you say, Steve, Yeah, yeah, I mean completely tuned. 208 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 1: It's such a bad case right here, because you know, 209 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 1: just put an ultimatum down about Mama can't come over 210 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,319 Speaker 1: the house no more, and I don't have a relationship 211 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,679 Speaker 1: with the child because her mother is so evil to 212 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: her first baby. Yeah yeah. And then Shirley, there's something 213 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 1: to play with them not being married, but it wouldn't 214 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:44,480 Speaker 1: matter to her. She's an evil woman regardless, right right. 215 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 1: She might can be using the fact that they're not 216 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 1: married as the excuse, but she would be nasty to 217 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,959 Speaker 1: the girl if they were married. Yeah, all right, guys, 218 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,679 Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here. You can post your 219 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 1: thoughts on Today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey f M. 220 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: And check out our Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Okay, 221 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 1: our Stubberry Letter podcast on demand. You can hear today's 222 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 1: letter coming up next more of the Steve Harvey Morning Show. 223 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 1: Right after this. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.