Speaker 1: Oh, good morning Catherine, Good morning Chelsea. It's not morning,
Speaker 1: is it morning? I don't know what time frame I'm on.
Speaker 1: I've decided that time zones do not exist. I just
Speaker 1: flew in. I was in New York for thirty six hours,
Speaker 1: and now it's in my new Vegas residency. By the way, God,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Chelsea at the Chelsea at the Cosmopolitan Theater.
Speaker 2: Tickets go on sale.
Speaker 1: Pre sale starts Saturday, and my first date is September first.
Speaker 2: For Labor Day weekend. And I have four more.
Speaker 1: Dates that I announced in September and October for Vegas,
Speaker 1: and then we also added a whole other bunch of
Speaker 1: shows for my Little Big Bitch tour. It's all the same,
Speaker 1: so you know, whether you come there, you come to Vegas,
Speaker 1: or come twice.
Speaker 3: We love to come twice.
Speaker 1: Yes, everyone likes to come twice. That's what I'll name
Speaker 1: my next tour.
Speaker 2: That'll be that.
Speaker 1: Every time I name a tour, I put some bad
Speaker 1: word in it, Like last tour was vaccinated, so it
Speaker 1: got flats. Anytime someone forwarded it it would be like flagged.
Speaker 1: And this time it was a Little Big Bitch, which
Speaker 1: is also a problem putting bitch in a title. It's
Speaker 1: like I don't know how to do anything. And I
Speaker 1: remind her that I'm coming to the Santa Barbara Bowl,
Speaker 1: which I'm so excited about.
Speaker 2: And the King's Theater in Brooklyn. I cannot woo.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's the other. I'm playing some venues that
Speaker 1: I've wanted to for a long time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Santa Barbara Bowl I.
Speaker 1: Played once before and it was epic. It's such a
Speaker 1: beautiful spot.
Speaker 4: Love it.
Speaker 1: And then no, I've never played the King's Theater in Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: and so that's exciting. Yes, I had a great time,
Speaker 1: and I went. I saw Juliana Marguli's, you know, our
Speaker 1: co host. She's great. She got a haircut and so
Speaker 1: her hair was looking very she was looking very sexual.
Speaker 3: Lest I mean, like still curly though right now straight.
Speaker 2: It's been straight for a while.
Speaker 3: I missed the curls.
Speaker 2: I know, I know, but maybe it's been up.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: You have to respect her and her privacy, which is
Speaker 2: what I'm not doing.
Speaker 3: Right now by outing her for having straight hair.
Speaker 1: I'm also coming to Dallas, Texas, Austin, Texas, sugar Land, Texas,
Speaker 1: all in November fifteenth, sixteen seventeenth, and I'm coming to
Speaker 1: New Orleans and Atlanta, Georgia at the end of December,
Speaker 1: so please get your tickets right before New Year's Eve?
Speaker 2: What will I do this year for New Year's E?
Speaker 3: What will you do?
Speaker 1: Celebrate that? My house will fucking be done? Sorry, sorry, guys,
Speaker 1: I hate to get aggressive.
Speaker 3: That's okay. We had a little incident with the little
Speaker 3: ol lady who runs the studio this morning.
Speaker 1: Were dated on the floor like Doug did when we
Speaker 1: shot the promos for Vegas.
Speaker 3: Basically we headed out this morning and so I'm very
Speaker 3: glad that we'll be at your podcast studio, which is.
Speaker 2: Mon Oh you did.
Speaker 3: You got to do it with her, and you know what,
Speaker 3: Like it feels so fun when you're like totally justified
Speaker 3: to be like back the fuck up, as you would say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, back the duck up. According it depending on
Speaker 1: who you're talking to.
Speaker 3: But you know, there's always something when we come in
Speaker 3: because somebody has changed a setting or locked out or whatever.
Speaker 3: And she had the audacity to call me a pain
Speaker 3: in the ass. And I went back and I said,
Speaker 3: don't talk to me like that. And it was amazing.
Speaker 3: I was joking as I said I know you were joking,
Speaker 3: but don't talk to me like that. I don't appreciate it.
Speaker 3: This is the workplace. I mean it just it felt
Speaker 3: so good. Yess it felt.
Speaker 1: I'm right wearing your Dear Chelsea hat. By the way,
Speaker 1: merch is available at Chelseahandler dot com. Right where you
Speaker 1: buy all your tickets from my shows. You can also
Speaker 1: get merch for Dear Chelsea. I had a really really
Speaker 1: meaningful conversation or exchange i should say, with this woman
Speaker 1: at the airport the other day. Yes, I don't know
Speaker 1: where data is, okay, so I just came straight from
Speaker 1: the airport, so it could have been this morning, I'm
Speaker 1: not sure, but about the podcast. And she was telling
Speaker 1: me about an episode that really impacted her and how
Speaker 1: much she loved it. It was really sweet, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, She's like, thank God for your podcast,
Speaker 1: thank you and such great advice. I was like, really,
Speaker 1: I sometimes I forget I even have a podcast, and
Speaker 1: then I'm like, that's so wonderful.
Speaker 3: I don't. I'm like, please let me pin you down
Speaker 3: for like an hour so we can record.
Speaker 2: I know, I know we have.
Speaker 1: We just signed a new deal for our podcast. Guys,
Speaker 1: so we're being here for a long time, that's right,
Speaker 1: going into going into another two seasons.
Speaker 3: Oh fabulous hearing that.
Speaker 1: That's exciting, and so yes, I'm very grateful to all
Speaker 1: of our listeners.
Speaker 2: Do we have a call to action?
Speaker 3: Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen in your life.
Speaker 1: Karen, my old assistant, is back in my life, you guys.
Speaker 1: Karen was my assistant. She was an intern on Chelsea Lately.
Speaker 1: You could tell that I just had a caffeine pack.
Speaker 1: I can't drink coffee, you guys, because I don't. It
Speaker 1: makes me sweat. And I just got off a plane
Speaker 1: from New York, which I'm already sweating because of how
Speaker 1: gross that is, even though I took a shower and
Speaker 1: then I took a wet white shower when I got here,
Speaker 1: like a like a horse bath, which I'm not opposed
Speaker 1: to at all.
Speaker 2: But yes, Karen was an intern.
Speaker 1: On Chelsea Lately, and then she became like an assistant
Speaker 1: to my assistant, and then she became my main assistant,
Speaker 1: and then she wanted to go work in the music business,
Speaker 1: and now she's back in my life.
Speaker 3: I'm thrilled. She is an awesome lady.
Speaker 2: She's the best. She is the best.
Speaker 1: It's so nice to be reunited with someone in your
Speaker 1: life that you care so much about.
Speaker 3: And someone who just like facilitates things and it's like pleasant.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just she's great. I just think she's wonderful. Yes,
Speaker 3: not as opposed to anyone else other than maybe the
Speaker 3: lady from this morning.
Speaker 1: Pleasantry is always nice, pleasant behavior.
Speaker 3: We have a guest who's gonna be in studio today, Chelsea.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, I love this s girls music. I love
Speaker 1: I love her attitude. I like everything about her. She's
Speaker 1: got a new single out called Baby Daddy's Weekend and
Speaker 1: her name is el King.
Speaker 5: This is my first time. I never get to say
Speaker 5: that anymore.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 1: Doug, Oh, Doug, dog, it's going down on our gust.
Speaker 4: It's already going so well.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4: He just please know each other.
Speaker 2: Please welcome Doug Handler and el King.
Speaker 1: They arrived together in studio and Doug was just got
Speaker 1: caught between her legs. Okay, now he's lying down, el King.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about it. First of all, I'm
Speaker 1: a huge fan.
Speaker 2: Of your music. I love you. Would you consider yourself
Speaker 2: a country music artist?
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I would good because I shouldn't be categorizing
Speaker 1: any sort of music.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you're a country musician.
Speaker 4: Yeah, now I make country now, yes.
Speaker 2: As opposed to earlier when you did it make country?
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 5: When I first started, I was making alternative rock and
Speaker 5: it crossed over into pop. So I was in that
Speaker 5: kind of whole world for a while. And then I
Speaker 5: sang a duet with this big country his named Dirk Spentley,
Speaker 5: and i'le him, I know him, okay, sick, yeah, great,
Speaker 5: great guy, thank you, chiseled Abs, And I was like,
Speaker 5: Country's more fun.
Speaker 2: Country does that? Country is more fun?
Speaker 1: But it also feels like country is broader than it
Speaker 1: used to be.
Speaker 5: And it still is evolving and changing in a lot
Speaker 5: of different ways. And they haven't well, they tried to
Speaker 5: kick me out, but I'm holding on for dear life.
Speaker 2: How did they?
Speaker 1: I mean, first of all, I want to comment on
Speaker 1: all of your tattoos, because you're the first woman that
Speaker 1: I've sat this close to with a.
Speaker 2: Necked up do I think?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, and I've never I've never seen what is
Speaker 2: that a snake? A serpent? Yeah? Yeah, a serpent? Yeah?
Speaker 1: My favorite? Really fucking hate snakes. I don't want to
Speaker 1: like hold one, but you want one on your neck?
Speaker 1: Yeah right, Okay, So when they first tried to kick
Speaker 1: you out, what happened?
Speaker 4: No, they didn't try to kick me out for a while.
Speaker 5: I feel like Country was pretty like warm and welcoming
Speaker 5: to me, and they still are. I think a lot
Speaker 5: of the people in the country world are rebels in
Speaker 5: a lot of ways, which I kind of related to.
Speaker 5: And my family's from Ohio, and so I felt kind
Speaker 5: of at home in that space where I felt very
Speaker 5: not at home or comfortable in the pop world because
Speaker 5: I was like this thick bitch and people were kind
Speaker 5: of mean and drinking green drinks and I was.
Speaker 4: Like, I like getting shit fazed.
Speaker 5: So yeah, and a lot of people just didn't really
Speaker 5: vibe with me. And then Country was like, we drink
Speaker 5: and have fun and it's cool and we also like
Speaker 5: play arenas, and I was like, oh, that's sick.
Speaker 1: I know, it's funny to think that, like a certain
Speaker 1: genres of music for certain types of behavior. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: rap is one category and then country. But pop stars
Speaker 1: aren't allowed to be fucked up or drinking or smoking.
Speaker 2: Why I don't know. I mean, that's the problem.
Speaker 1: Is that they should be drinking and smoking, like out
Speaker 1: in the open so it doesn't become such a problem.
Speaker 1: You know, like a little bit of this and a
Speaker 1: little bit of that goes a longer way than most
Speaker 1: people think, rather than putting up guardrails and saying no,
Speaker 1: you can't do this. Yeah, that usually backfires. So what
Speaker 1: age did you start to become pretty successful?
Speaker 5: I'd say like around twenty six I got signed. I
Speaker 5: mean I've been playing shows and touring since I was
Speaker 5: like fifteen years old.
Speaker 2: And did that mean you missed out on high school?
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh. I went to so many different schools.
Speaker 5: I got kicked out of every school that I went to.
Speaker 5: I was very bad in school. I didn't give a shit.
Speaker 5: And I don't know, but like teachers from all the
Speaker 5: schools I went to would like come to my shows,
Speaker 5: and my mom would like help me get into bars.
Speaker 5: She didn't care I had a fake ID or anything.
Speaker 5: And I got signed around like twenty two, twenty three,
Speaker 5: and then slept with a lot of people, wrote x's
Speaker 5: and no's and I was probably around twenty six, And
Speaker 5: that song kind of just blew up.
Speaker 1: A lot of things you're saying. Remind me very much
Speaker 1: of my own experience. Okay, yeah, yeah, I wrote My
Speaker 1: first book was about sleeping with a lot of guys,
Speaker 1: and that put me on the map in books.
Speaker 4: I mean, there's money in hoeing.
Speaker 2: There is, and there weren't enough.
Speaker 1: You know what the thing is is there weren't enough
Speaker 1: women talking about it because we're only now experiencing women
Speaker 1: being proud of being able to say, yeah, I sleep
Speaker 1: around a lot and I actually enjoy that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I enjoy multiple lovers in my life.
Speaker 1: That is a goal of mine and I have accomplished
Speaker 1: it and I'm very happy about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have a son.
Speaker 1: I do because one of your songs is Baby Baby
Speaker 1: Daddy's Weekend.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, and that's about your baby's daddy. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So how does that play into your lifestyle? How does
Speaker 1: that play into touring? What do you do with your son?
Speaker 1: How old is he?
Speaker 4: He's two and a half.
Speaker 5: Oh, he's yeah, he's like like have like a kid.
Speaker 5: He's so cute, he's so cool. He's traveled all over
Speaker 5: the world with me. He's like hugged kangaroos in Australia
Speaker 5: at two years old. Like, that's pretty cool. And he's
Speaker 5: I don't know, he's my little road dog.
Speaker 2: And how does you just take him everywhere you go?
Speaker 4: I take him everywhere I go.
Speaker 1: And how many days a year are you touring? Like
Speaker 1: how many shows a year do you do?
Speaker 2: Typically?
Speaker 4: Probably like one hundred and fifty two hundred.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, last year we did a lot and the
Speaker 5: baby was with me, I mean everywhere that I went.
Speaker 5: Now he's getting a little bit older, and I because
Speaker 5: I co parent, he'll come with me on my weeks.
Speaker 1: Right, So tell me about the music, like the industry,
Speaker 1: and your experience as a woman, and your experience with
Speaker 1: other women who've helped you like along the way or
Speaker 1: men who have helped you along the way.
Speaker 5: I mean, I've had like a lot of great people
Speaker 5: that I've met along the way.
Speaker 4: A lot of men never.
Speaker 5: Really knew what to do with me because they either
Speaker 5: like didn't like me because they weren't attracted to me,
Speaker 5: or they hated me because they weren't attracted to me.
Speaker 5: But they knew that I was a good singer, and
Speaker 5: so like I had like a lot of like weird
Speaker 5: experiences of like having to push to that.
Speaker 4: But I also grew up like like a.
Speaker 5: Fat girl, so I had to be really funny, and
Speaker 5: I was always in trouble and I could talk my
Speaker 5: way like I've never been arrested, Like believe it or not.
Speaker 5: I know, neck tattoo is shocker, but like I've talked
Speaker 5: my way out of handcuffs because I can.
Speaker 4: Make some I could make guy laugh, you know.
Speaker 5: But I saw a lot of weird things in Hollywood,
Speaker 5: and it was like kind of weird to me, and
Speaker 5: nobody seemed very happy. But I loved music and I
Speaker 5: was a very emotional teenager and a really really sensitive
Speaker 5: and emotional child, and when I started playing music, it
Speaker 5: was like the only thing that I could like put
Speaker 5: my emotions down. And it's like this cathartic thing to
Speaker 5: like write songs, you know. So I got like my
Speaker 5: first residency in Brooklyn when I was like sixteen years old,
Speaker 5: and people just started hearing me and I went by
Speaker 5: my mom's last name and just kind of took off
Speaker 5: from there. And then the people who helped me are
Speaker 5: like a lot of friends. Like I was laughing with
Speaker 5: my friend today of fifteen years she was like, yeah, bitch.
Speaker 4: Your first help myself, West, I fucking gave you money
Speaker 4: to buy fucking clothes. And I don't know. I feel
Speaker 4: very blessed.
Speaker 1: I always think like, no success is your own, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, It belongs to all of the
Speaker 1: people who helped.
Speaker 2: You achieve it.
Speaker 3: Totally.
Speaker 1: I always get asked that question about women because when
Speaker 1: I was coming up, women were like, you weren't on
Speaker 1: each other's side. There wasn't room for a lot of women,
Speaker 1: and so like now that just seems to be melting
Speaker 1: away where people are like, oh no, we can actually
Speaker 1: celebrate the success someone. You know, blowing somebody else's candle
Speaker 1: out doesn't make yours brighter. There's a room for everybody.
Speaker 1: But that feels more recent that vibe. Yeah, unfortunately.
Speaker 5: Yeah, my candle is usually like behind and like a
Speaker 5: dumpster or something, or under your car. Yeah, under my
Speaker 5: car fucking just got towed. So so do you like touring?
Speaker 2: Do you like being on the road?
Speaker 4: I do. I feel like I'm better at that.
Speaker 5: You're either made for touring or you're not, and you
Speaker 5: find out real fucking quick. I'm definitely made for it.
Speaker 5: I don't do well sitting in one place for a
Speaker 5: long time. I go totally nuts. I'm kind of kooky,
Speaker 5: I guess in a lot of ways, but like I
Speaker 5: actually crave schedule and routine, and also like my touring family,
Speaker 5: like my band. Most of them have been with me
Speaker 5: for like over eight years, so they're my longest relationship
Speaker 5: and they're incredible human beings and they're the most talented musicians.
Speaker 5: They've taught me everything that I know, and they've stuck
Speaker 5: by me through like a lot of bullshit.
Speaker 1: What you're just saying about structure, you know, with personalities
Speaker 1: that are very creative. Because I don't like everything you're saying.
Speaker 1: I can't I agree with so much. I don't like
Speaker 1: to be stuck in one place. I don't like to
Speaker 1: be tethered. I don't like someone to say I have
Speaker 1: to even be anywhere for like six unless it's my
Speaker 1: choice and I'm skiing because I could do that for
Speaker 1: six weeks, but I don't like that. And when when
Speaker 1: structure is provided, even in like you know, as you're
Speaker 1: wandering around the world, but there's a structure to it,
Speaker 1: you're able to actually let your creative juices fly in
Speaker 1: a much more Yeah, you know, because you do have
Speaker 1: the structure. Without the structure, you'd be a fucking hot mess,
Speaker 1: Like I would be a mess. I need some sort
Speaker 1: of parameters.
Speaker 5: As long as I'm in control and no one is
Speaker 5: telling me what to do, that's great.
Speaker 2: That's great. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: Have you had any major blow ups with men in
Speaker 1: this business? You don't have to name names, but where
Speaker 1: you really had to lay into a man, because I
Speaker 1: did that recently and it felt great.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: My friend was listening outside because I was just retelling
Speaker 1: the story this weekend and my friend was listening outside
Speaker 1: and when I came out of the room that I was,
Speaker 1: you know, reading him in, she said, how did you
Speaker 1: learn how to talk to men like that? And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'll teach you. Yeah, you got to
Speaker 1: stand up for yourself, girl.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I've had like a lot of moments, and I
Speaker 5: mean probably too many that I can't even be like, like, let.
Speaker 1: Me just sift through and see not any particular ones
Speaker 1: that you're very proud of the way you handled yourself.
Speaker 4: Never that's a hard, no.
Speaker 2: Good answer.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I think it from their perspective, because you know,
Speaker 5: I hate this about myself, but like, I try to
Speaker 5: see from both sides.
Speaker 4: But I don't know, I grew up around a lot
Speaker 4: of actors, and.
Speaker 5: Like it's just weird that like people get mad at
Speaker 5: you because of who your parents are. And I don't
Speaker 5: know if my son is gonna want to be a singer.
Speaker 5: I don't Maybe he wants to be an actor, you know,
Speaker 5: no offense, but I hope not a comedian, and like
Speaker 5: I don't want him to be like, well fuck me,
Speaker 5: like my mom is. Like the drunk country singer.
Speaker 1: You know, you had a bad experience right where you
Speaker 1: were performing somewhere and you got in trouble for being
Speaker 1: drunk on stage.
Speaker 3: Yes, I've also been there, Okay, and what happened.
Speaker 1: I didn't really get into trouble, but I did it,
Speaker 1: and like it was, it was a big show with
Speaker 1: thousands of people. Yeah, and I just was embarrassed. I
Speaker 1: wasn't like a news item, but I've done.
Speaker 3: It, Chelsea. Was it in like the time before everything
Speaker 3: was picked apart on social media?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh that's so nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's great. That's what Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm okay, So this is my first time actually
Speaker 5: talking about it.
Speaker 4: Okay, that was really crazy.
Speaker 2: Tell us what happened?
Speaker 5: All right, Okay, Okay, So I did a big no. No,
Speaker 5: I not only cussed on stage, hammered at the Grand
Speaker 5: ol Opry, but it was Dolly Parton's birthday and it
Speaker 5: was the Opry was doing a Dolly Parton tribute. I
Speaker 5: haven't spoken about it because one I.
Speaker 2: Had to just chill.
Speaker 4: It was a big deal. There were two shows that night.
Speaker 5: I know, in in like stand up comedy, like a
Speaker 5: lot of times, there's two shows a day, so there
Speaker 5: was an early show and then a late show. I
Speaker 5: had been going through something very heavy and traumatic in
Speaker 5: my life at the time, and that day was a
Speaker 5: really big day dealing with what I was going through,
Speaker 5: and then I'm still going through and I suffer from
Speaker 5: like severe PTSD.
Speaker 4: That day.
Speaker 5: I hadn't eaten, I hadn't slept in days, and I
Speaker 5: was really overwhelmed. I was like a shell of myself.
Speaker 5: And they called me and there was a big snowstorm
Speaker 5: that day, and this other singer who's supposed to be
Speaker 5: the headliner backed out like three hours before, and they
Speaker 5: asked me if I would sing, if I would be
Speaker 5: the headliner and sing Joeline. I was like, great, I
Speaker 5: know that song, first show, fucking perfect. I take one
Speaker 5: shot too many and I'm just not there in my body,
Speaker 5: I'm not there. I don't remember it all I remember,
Speaker 5: I don't even remember what I said.
Speaker 4: I know now what I said.
Speaker 5: I said, I'm milking and I'm fucking hay, and I
Speaker 5: got the curtain dropped on me and then like I
Speaker 5: just get like flashes of this and I was totally
Speaker 5: disassociated and I just cut to like the dressing room,
Speaker 5: me like on the floor.
Speaker 4: Just like sobbing, like what have I done?
Speaker 5: And then the next day it was like everywhere everywhere,
Speaker 5: and I was mortified, and I hand wrote an apology
Speaker 5: letter to the opry, and I hand wrote an apology
Speaker 5: letter to Dolly, and Dolly called me a couple days later,
Speaker 5: and she's just like literally, she's like proof that angels exist.
Speaker 5: She just gave me really kind words and told me.
Speaker 4: Well, dollar's not mad she why should the world be?
Speaker 5: And made me laugh and like like that's the kindness
Speaker 5: from women, you know, Like that's that's the stuff that
Speaker 5: I've received that I'll never forget ever. Because I wanted
Speaker 5: to fucking die and I don't know, I had to
Speaker 5: like remove myself from the population for a while because
Speaker 5: it just it wasn't getting any better.
Speaker 4: It's like, you know, if I had a dick, would
Speaker 4: it be different? I don't know.
Speaker 5: But I also didn't want to even put any energy
Speaker 5: into that because one, regardless of what I was doing
Speaker 5: in my life and what was happening to me, that
Speaker 5: I don't feel like I owe to anybody in the
Speaker 5: fucking world to try and explain. And I also don't
Speaker 5: think that it does excuse the fact that maybe I
Speaker 5: shouldn't have fucking been drinking. You know, this is like
Speaker 5: a sacred stage, and I fucked up. And so for
Speaker 5: all the people who are asking for an apology from me, Hey,
Speaker 5: if you were there that night and I didn't get
Speaker 5: a chance to say I'm sorry to you, I apologize.
Speaker 3: And I saw like your posts from around that time
Speaker 3: as well, and the fact that you were like, to
Speaker 3: everyone you know who was there, I love you and
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, And to everyone who's just being a dick
Speaker 3: to me on the internet, I love it and I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: That was more of your exact words. But I thought
Speaker 3: that was like very big of you, because people are
Speaker 3: kind of just nasty all of the time about anything
Speaker 3: on the internet these days.
Speaker 5: People were telling me to surrender my child, that I'm
Speaker 5: an unfit mother, and that I should off myself.
Speaker 3: And like, which is crazy.
Speaker 5: Maybe I did have a little like aggression built up
Speaker 5: of that, and it's like the people who were sending
Speaker 5: me these messages weren't at the show, and like I feel,
Speaker 5: you know, Doll even said it, like no one is
Speaker 5: going to be harder on me than me, Like I
Speaker 5: I was very very hard on myself, and I'm mortified, Like.
Speaker 2: Yes, and that's it, and that's it. That's all you
Speaker 2: can do, is like you we all make mistakes like that,
Speaker 2: Everyone makes mistakes, whether they're that kind of mistake or
Speaker 2: different kind, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 5: So but I will say like that was me hitting
Speaker 5: a massive brick wall, and I made changes in my
Speaker 5: life and I feel like I'm becoming a stronger person
Speaker 5: because of it, and I'm not grateful for it. But
Speaker 5: at the same time, like I can find a silver
Speaker 5: lining and literally anything, and like I'm gonna choose to
Speaker 5: use this as a tool to not defeat me, but
Speaker 5: to make me hopefully a better person, and I can
Speaker 5: learn from my mistakes. Now, I don't drink before I
Speaker 5: go up and sing. And they're the best shows I've
Speaker 5: ever played. And I'm proud to say that, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I still drink before I perform I can't
Speaker 1: announce that, so I don't want anyone.
Speaker 2: To get their hopes up. That's something different is gonna
Speaker 2: happen for me. Okay. On that note, we're going to
Speaker 2: take a break and we'll be right back.
Speaker 3: If you need advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea
Speaker 3: Podcast at gmail dot com. You can ask about your
Speaker 3: biggest dating conundrums, the cheating scandal that's rocking your friend group,
Speaker 3: the funniest marital disagreements you need Chelsea to weigh in on,
Speaker 3: or anything else that's Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: And we're back without back.
Speaker 1: We're back with olkid Catherine and questions from callers.
Speaker 3: So many questions. We actually have some very fun and
Speaker 3: specific ones from people who are in music. So okay, great,
Speaker 3: first question, We're gonna go to a caller first. She's
Speaker 3: about to go on stage in London, so we'll get
Speaker 3: her on her merry way. So Fie is thirty two
Speaker 3: and her subject line is love on tour, Dear Chelsea.
Speaker 3: I'm a touring musician who's on the road about seven
Speaker 3: or eight months out of the year. I've had trouble
Speaker 3: keeping relationships alive when I'm gone so often that I've
Speaker 3: given up and then spent a good year and a
Speaker 3: half exploring myself and had a great time hooking up
Speaker 3: all over the world. But now I have a boyfriend
Speaker 3: that I truly love, and I want to ensure that
Speaker 3: our relationship survives the ups and downs of tour life.
Speaker 3: He doesn't have a visa to visit America. We live
Speaker 3: in Mexico and he's from Mexico City, so he can't
Speaker 3: just up and visit me in the States or Europe
Speaker 3: when I have time off. So, besides communication and trusting
Speaker 3: the process, as a fellow touring entertainer, what advice do
Speaker 3: you have to keep things exciting and to not let
Speaker 3: your fears and anxieties creep in. I'm really great at
Speaker 3: self sabotaging, and I'd really like to see this relationship
Speaker 3: survive the next three months. Stint, I'm gone for fie.
Speaker 4: Hi, Effie, Hi, how are you?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: We're good, thank you. We have our special guest, al
Speaker 1: King is here today. She's gonna help give us advice.
Speaker 2: Yes, you're talking to two people who tour for a living,
Speaker 2: So that's perfect.
Speaker 7: Exactly perfect, That's exactly what I need.
Speaker 2: Would you like to go first.
Speaker 5: I'd love to go first. I feel like as a
Speaker 5: touring musician, any relationship you're in is a long distance relationship,
Speaker 5: so you have to have a very strong, firm foundation
Speaker 5: of trust. Otherwise there's no there's nothing to build on.
Speaker 1: They also don't sound like they've had enough time to
Speaker 1: build a foundation on.
Speaker 4: How long have you been together?
Speaker 7: Seven months?
Speaker 6: And that's two and a half of those months I
Speaker 6: was on tour back in November and December, so it's
Speaker 6: like we've only really been together three and a half
Speaker 6: four months.
Speaker 1: Well, that's enough to build some sort of foundation. Yeah, Also,
Speaker 1: are you concerned about his.
Speaker 2: Behavior while you're away? Whose behavior are you concerned about? Yours?
Speaker 6: I'm I'm not even I'm not even really concerned about
Speaker 6: the behavior is just well, I've had boyfriends who have
Speaker 6: cheated in the past, wrong them away because they just
Speaker 6: use that as an excuse to go to other people.
Speaker 6: So I think I'm just I just have my own
Speaker 6: mental stress and struggles about Like, you know, I trust
Speaker 6: him and I love him very much, but it's just
Speaker 6: the communication that's really hard, especially now I'm in England
Speaker 6: and he's in Mexico, so there's an eight hour time difference,
Speaker 6: and I don't expect him to talk to me all
Speaker 6: day every day.
Speaker 7: I just I need something.
Speaker 2: Are you checking in? Are you texting at all?
Speaker 7: Oh? I text all the time. I'm one of those
Speaker 7: annoying multiple bubble kind of texts.
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too.
Speaker 7: But he's just inherently not a phone person. And you know,
Speaker 7: he's just he doesn't look at it.
Speaker 4: He doesn't think you know that flag is Rojo.
Speaker 7: It's so I know, it's so annoying.
Speaker 6: He's like that even when we're together, like if somebody's
Speaker 6: text sim he just he doesn't look at the phone.
Speaker 6: When we're together one on one, I am priority, which
Speaker 6: is awesome. Like we never touch our phones unless we're
Speaker 6: playing like a little game together.
Speaker 7: So I love that very much about him.
Speaker 6: So I understand why he's not constantly on his phone
Speaker 6: to text me. But when I think of him, I'm like, hey,
Speaker 6: I hope you're having a great day. And it just
Speaker 6: seems like I have to like pool that out.
Speaker 7: Of him, you know, and it is fucking annoying.
Speaker 5: Have you communicated to him that you would crave like
Speaker 5: a faster response, because I'm a rapid texter and if
Speaker 5: I don't get like immediate gratification.
Speaker 4: We have a problem.
Speaker 2: I'm like that as well.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I like texting, Yeah, I like texting, and God,
Speaker 6: I would rather choke on a needle than FaceTime or call,
Speaker 6: like on the phone. I have a social anxiety about that,
Speaker 6: even if it's people I love. But yeah, actually, just
Speaker 6: yesterday because I was at the airport waiting to board
Speaker 6: my flight to London, so I had many and I
Speaker 6: finally texted him and I said, Hey, you know, officially
Speaker 6: right now, things are going to get really hard and
Speaker 6: I need for you to be better and be a
Speaker 6: little bit more aware of what's going on with our
Speaker 6: relationship and it's it's going to be hard.
Speaker 7: And I don't think he's really processed that yet.
Speaker 4: Has he responded?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah he did, Yeah.
Speaker 4: He did. Yeah what did he say?
Speaker 6: It was actually better than I anticipated. I thought he
Speaker 6: was going to kind of get on my case about
Speaker 6: being needy or being annoying, but he said, I know
Speaker 6: that I need to be better, and I know that
Speaker 6: you know, I'm not a phone person, but when it
Speaker 6: comes to love and reassurance, it needs to be more often.
Speaker 7: So I'm sorry. He apologized, and I appreciate that.
Speaker 4: This is I mean, I feel like you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you already solved your problem before
Speaker 2: you called.
Speaker 7: I know, but I think it's my like, how do
Speaker 7: you not stifle That's not the right word, but so like,
Speaker 7: how do you kind of put your.
Speaker 6: Own anxieties at ease? Like I'm just a naturally anxious
Speaker 6: person all the time. Yeah, so my mind immediately goes
Speaker 6: to like the darkest place possible. And with relationships where
Speaker 6: I've had experience that and really badly because they get
Speaker 6: bored that I'm not home, or they have their own jealousy,
Speaker 6: or they have their own insecurities. It's just I want
Speaker 6: to make sure that I tread carefully and correctly to
Speaker 6: make sure that this lasts.
Speaker 5: Can I say something what I heard and what I
Speaker 5: took from everything that you just said. It sounds like
Speaker 5: maybe there's some inner work that you can do to
Speaker 5: find calm and peace within you and trust yourself and
Speaker 5: your own gut and your own intuition that will only
Speaker 5: help fuel a loving relationship outwardly if you start inside
Speaker 5: first and calm that. And I think with that kind
Speaker 5: of self love and self trust and like all of
Speaker 5: that comes, you know, leaving a lot of the other
Speaker 5: past traumas from other relationships and not being carried into
Speaker 5: the next one. That's what I don't do that personally,
Speaker 5: but I feel like that could maybe be helpful for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what else, I think you definitely need
Speaker 1: to do that. You have to start having a different
Speaker 1: conversation with yourself because it's like you're letting your negative
Speaker 1: thoughts overpower your positive thoughts. And with distance in time
Speaker 1: like there, you cannot control what another person is gonna do. Okay,
Speaker 1: So that's one thing, and I understand you think you
Speaker 1: can by facilitating getting closer while you're gone. You've communicated
Speaker 1: to him that you're gonna need more attention via text
Speaker 1: or whatever that means. And even if it's texting, like
Speaker 1: that's that's kind of like a relief to a lot
Speaker 1: of people, Like you don't have to get on the phone,
Speaker 1: you don't have to face time, you just have to text,
Speaker 1: like keep up the communication. That's something that he could
Speaker 1: do for you to assuaze your fears. But what you
Speaker 1: can do to assuaze your fears is also if you
Speaker 1: sit down and think of the worst possible scenario, which
Speaker 1: would be to what that he cheated on you, right,
Speaker 1: think of that, Think of that actually happening. You find
Speaker 1: out he cheated on you, and then you break up
Speaker 1: and then you're you like it's you're gonna be fine
Speaker 1: no matter what the fuck happens.
Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1: Like, so you break up, Yeah, you're heartbroken or whatever,
Speaker 1: You're gonna survive that too. Like, so all of this
Speaker 1: worry and you're doing, like worrying to what availed? Do
Speaker 1: you think you're gonna die? Like, You're not gonna die.
Speaker 1: You're worried about someone cheating and you're worried about communication
Speaker 1: Like that can't be your driving attitude, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Your driving attitude has to be way more
Speaker 1: focused and centered on what you're doing in your present
Speaker 1: moment than occupying yourself with the negative possibilities. So that's
Speaker 1: a conversation, like she said that you have to keep
Speaker 1: having with yourself, and also a therapist or a like
Speaker 1: guided meditation something that's gonna teach you how to calm
Speaker 1: down and to breathe out your nerves. You know when
Speaker 1: you have when they overcome you. Because if you see
Speaker 1: with it and you think, Okay, I'm having this feeling
Speaker 1: I'm worried he's gonna cheat on me, then sit with it.
Speaker 1: Go Okay, well what if he did cheat on me?
Speaker 1: What would happen? Then well we would have to break out.
Speaker 1: That would suck, but you would still be alive and
Speaker 1: you would still survive. It's like it's even the worst
Speaker 1: possible scenario. Isn't that bad?
Speaker 2: It just sounds you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it sounds worse than it will be, you know.
Speaker 1: And then if you go through all those feelings, it's
Speaker 1: almost like you extinguish. You're like, Okay, yeah, that would
Speaker 1: really suck. Now let me get on with the rest
Speaker 1: of my day.
Speaker 7: Wow, Yeah, I agree. I agree with all that. Me
Speaker 7: and Hill are both like down yeah up, No, I
Speaker 7: mean I totally I totally agree.
Speaker 6: And I'm doing this like journaling process called the Artist's Way,
Speaker 6: and it's basically just a journaling Like every day you
Speaker 6: wake up and you do three pages of just like
Speaker 6: conscious streaming, just letting out all of your stuff. And
Speaker 6: I'm like finding myself aggravated because all of my writing
Speaker 6: is just like Okay, I gotta like think about this
Speaker 6: relationship and why it is happening, and I'm angry about this,
Speaker 6: and I'm like, it's seriously taking over like my brain
Speaker 6: and it's unhealthy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're obsessing.
Speaker 1: You're obsessing over your relationship, and it's you got to
Speaker 1: like figure out a way to internally dial that back
Speaker 1: because that's not serving you. So you have to start
Speaker 1: thinking about all the other things in your life that
Speaker 1: you're grateful for, and start thinking about that and journaling
Speaker 1: about that every morning to get your mind a little
Speaker 1: bit more balanced. You know, talk about the thing, what
Speaker 1: are you grateful for? Your family, what your job, your life?
Speaker 6: Yeah, my job, music, travel, you know, all the all
Speaker 6: the things that I get to do because the music
Speaker 6: is incredible, So I'm very grateful for all of that.
Speaker 2: You're getting on stage soon to perform in front of
Speaker 2: a live audience, right, yeah, like forty minutes, So fucking
Speaker 2: focus on that.
Speaker 1: Focus on enjoy love and sunshine into everyone who's there
Speaker 1: to see, who you're performing with and everybody's on stage.
Speaker 1: Like emanate the love and like happiness that you want
Speaker 1: to feel. Just do that on stage tonight and be
Speaker 1: focused only on that you're there in front of all
Speaker 1: these people.
Speaker 2: Go serve it up to them.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I agree, with that. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and once you get all of the anxiety out
Speaker 3: of the way, As someone who is married to a
Speaker 3: touring musician, I will say, a tasteful nude goes a
Speaker 3: long way.
Speaker 4: Also, just like FaceTime sex is like.
Speaker 2: Do you have sex on FaceTime? I'm on the road
Speaker 2: all the time, I've never done that.
Speaker 7: Well, I've ever done that.
Speaker 2: You're welcome.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 6: And also like he he is definitely like he has
Speaker 6: no game whatsoever, Like I can't even imagine what trying
Speaker 6: to like get a nude from him would be.
Speaker 1: Like, let's not focus on that. Let's just focus on
Speaker 1: the previous advice. Okay, you can deal with your news
Speaker 1: on your own time. Yes, we can't counsel on that.
Speaker 1: It's illegal.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well I have a great show tonight.
Speaker 7: Thank you so much. I appreciate you guys. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks bye. Seriously, it's like I'm upset. First of well,
Speaker 1: FaceTime sex FaceTime, Like it's not really You're just masturbating
Speaker 1: on FaceTime?
Speaker 2: Is that what it is?
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's great. Can't get pregnant.
Speaker 1: You can't get pregnant on FaceTime. You want to make
Speaker 1: a bet somebody will get pregnant on face time.
Speaker 4: I'm not a doctor.
Speaker 1: TIF talk will happen first, But somebody's gonna get pregnant online.
Speaker 2: That's what's gonna happen next.
Speaker 3: I mean, Chelsea gets people pregnant on this show.
Speaker 1: I get you'll get your period when you leave here,
Speaker 1: and you'll get pregnant. Oh my gosh, I'm very powerful.
Speaker 1: I have a very powerful female energy. Okay, great, yes,
Speaker 1: well our next question. It comes from me, says dear Chelsea.
Speaker 1: I'm a straight woman who started a new job this
Speaker 1: year and immediately hit it off as friends. The gay
Speaker 1: male coworker. Not to stereotype, but he's pop culture savvy,
Speaker 1: very stylish.
Speaker 3: Gently spoken, and just overall adorable. I recently learned, after
Speaker 3: forming a solid friendship over the past five months, that oops,
Speaker 3: turns out, he dates women. This threw me for a loop.
Speaker 3: Thinking that he was into men made it much easier
Speaker 3: to have a friendship with him. Now that I know
Speaker 3: what might be possible, I can't stop thinking about him
Speaker 3: while trying to get my work done. He makes me
Speaker 3: laugh every day that we work together. On the days
Speaker 3: I know we'll both be in office, I feel giddy
Speaker 3: and excited to get to work. I have butterflies around him,
Speaker 3: and we vibe together. The problem is, I'm married. I've
Speaker 3: been with my husband for a long time and honestly
Speaker 3: feel very satisfied in our relationship. We still have deep conversations,
Speaker 3: we laugh together, have a great sex life, and overall
Speaker 3: profound connection. So it's not as if I'm not getting
Speaker 3: my needs met and therefore seeking them out elsewhere.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet you are getting your knees Matt. I'm
Speaker 2: fucking greedy, Jesus.
Speaker 3: I think it's just the fact that these feelings are
Speaker 3: new and therefore exciting. How do I work with this
Speaker 3: person and avoid getting too close? How do I eventually
Speaker 3: get over this crush? How do I keep myself from cheating?
Speaker 3: I can't imagine actually doing that, but the fantasy is there. Mia.
Speaker 2: Nah, First of all, you better shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: Okay, you have a great husband, who you're having sex with,
Speaker 1: who you're having deep conversations with, and who you laugh with.
Speaker 1: You're busy worried about your crush. Remember that a crush
Speaker 1: is a crush. It doesn't mean anything, and you can
Speaker 1: control yourself because you're an adult woman. Yeah, so try
Speaker 1: not to fuck your coworker. Okay, you can do it.
Speaker 4: That's that's kind of me. I get it.
Speaker 5: But also like if you have a good husband who's
Speaker 5: making you laugh and fucks you like and is nice, like,
Speaker 5: don't fuck that up?
Speaker 2: Yes exactly, Yeah, don't fuck it up.
Speaker 4: I mean you thought this guy was gay for like
Speaker 4: five months and now you like want to fuck it
Speaker 4: because he made you laugh and like.
Speaker 5: Talks about fucking the housewives. Like, no, just stick to
Speaker 5: your husband and like, have a fucking work crush, please.
Speaker 2: Yeah, welcome the crush. It's fun to have a crush.
Speaker 4: You're gonna fucking blow it for you and for everybody.
Speaker 2: Thank you. That's enough. Set on that topic.
Speaker 1: Let's leave it to leave it on that note perfectly sad,
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 3: Our next color is Jenny. She is in New York.
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea. I opened a music venue with my husband
Speaker 3: almost a year ago now, and it's going as expected.
Speaker 3: Lat It's of joy and also stress. I've worked in
Speaker 3: restaurants and jazz clubs for decades now, and I've always
Speaker 3: enjoyed talking with guests and creating a warm and welcoming
Speaker 3: environment for people to have a good time, a place
Speaker 3: to leave their worries behind and fill up on all
Speaker 3: of the good vibes I've worked so hard to curate,
Speaker 3: but when attention is given directly to me, I'm filled
Speaker 3: with anxiety. I'm terrified of going up on stage, taking
Speaker 3: a mic, or being on camera. My husband, who's a musician,
Speaker 3: is very entertaining on the mic and has been the
Speaker 3: one to MC most nights to introduce players and groups.
Speaker 3: He's going to be on tour over the summer, and
Speaker 3: since I'm the other face of the joint, I should
Speaker 3: be the one getting up to MC. How can I
Speaker 3: overcome this fear? I want to talk to the crowd
Speaker 3: of people as if I were talking to them one
Speaker 3: on one, and make the room ready for a night
Speaker 3: of music and fun. It's a beautiful club that I'm
Speaker 3: so proud of. It's more fulfilling than I could have imagined,
Speaker 3: and I'd love to have confidence everywhere in the club,
Speaker 3: especially on the stage that I built.
Speaker 4: Jenny Jones, Oh, Jenny, that is so wholesome and sweet.
Speaker 2: You're so wholesome.
Speaker 5: I am no oh yo yo yo.
Speaker 2: What's up?
Speaker 7: Hi?
Speaker 2: HIHI king our special guest today. Hi hi hi Hi.
Speaker 2: Nice to see you guys.
Speaker 1: Nice to see you too, Okay, Building confidence well, first
Speaker 1: of all, what I would say is take a beta blocker.
Speaker 4: Because that's what I was gonna say too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's gonna help your nerves.
Speaker 1: As far as like how you're gonna be in terms
Speaker 1: of speaking publicly, I mean, you just.
Speaker 4: Gotta go through it. You gotta do it.
Speaker 5: And you know what, I have bad shows and they
Speaker 5: make the great shows fucking great.
Speaker 1: It's kind of a learning curve, like in order to
Speaker 1: get good at you, you have to start doing it.
Speaker 1: So you can't just like become a great public orator
Speaker 1: or speaker out of nowhere. You're just gonna have to
Speaker 1: go up and just I would say, like when you're
Speaker 1: going up there, I would definitely get a prescription for proparamolol.
Speaker 2: That's what it's called from your doctor. That's one of them.
Speaker 4: I don't know if you knowed it. For one.
Speaker 1: And when you're going out on stage and you're going
Speaker 1: ready to getting ready to do it, I would just
Speaker 1: really try to really lead with the right high vibes,
Speaker 1: you know, like fun, Like I want to have fun.
Speaker 1: And if you're having fun, other people are gonna have fun.
Speaker 1: It's contagious.
Speaker 5: And and don't try to be anyone that you're not
Speaker 5: just it's it feels weird to say sometimes, but like actually,
Speaker 5: just be yourself and you'll be surprised by how accepting
Speaker 5: an audience is if you are your true, authentic, yes
Speaker 5: person self.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, I just get I get nervous and I
Speaker 7: get stuttery, and.
Speaker 2: Well the proprietla will help that.
Speaker 3: You'll get that and it won't make you feel loopy either.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, that's a faster you get off stage. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also, you know, you can have a drink if
Speaker 1: that's gonna calm you down. Not five probably, but like one,
Speaker 1: you know, just to like calm your nerves. And just
Speaker 1: if you're feeling nervous and you're feeling jittery, it's okay
Speaker 1: to like lean into it and be like, oh, guys,
Speaker 1: this is my first time on stage. Like hopefully I
Speaker 1: don't screw this up, you know, like be yourself. You
Speaker 1: don't have to like be.
Speaker 2: The best at it all of a sudden out of
Speaker 2: the gate. Yeah yeah, I mean I did try doing
Speaker 2: a shot one night.
Speaker 7: I got up and I think it made me more nervous.
Speaker 2: Okay, so don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.
Speaker 5: I recently started going on stage stone cold sober, and
Speaker 5: I always felt like I messed up more when I'm sober,
Speaker 5: because I'm like a like a severely anxious person myself.
Speaker 4: But like I trip and I fumble and I say
Speaker 4: stupid shit.
Speaker 5: But at the end of the day, like I still
Speaker 5: would rather be me and be experiencing it at the moment,
Speaker 5: and you'll.
Speaker 4: You'll find your flow.
Speaker 5: And I feel like I just have a feeling you're
Speaker 5: gonna end up loving being up there and you're gonna
Speaker 5: tell your husband like, no, I'm fucking handling it tonight.
Speaker 4: I want to be up there on stage.
Speaker 7: I like that.
Speaker 3: I'm also gonna just put this out there too. If
Speaker 3: you really hate it, even though you're the face of
Speaker 3: the place, maybe get your most like Hammy bartender to
Speaker 3: do it, you know what I mean, Like you can
Speaker 3: be the gal who's like mingling in the crowds, because
Speaker 3: I know you said it's sort of like a safe space,
Speaker 3: you know everybody there sort of thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm comfortable on that.
Speaker 3: Right, Like when you're on the floor, you're comfortable, right, yes, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So like if you really hate it, after trying it
Speaker 3: out a few times, get your most like whoever's the
Speaker 3: biggest ham who works for you.
Speaker 2: Have them do it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, any other confidence advice scals.
Speaker 1: I think confidence is just you really have to lean
Speaker 1: into it and act like it's.
Speaker 2: Like faking it until you make it. It's true. It is.
Speaker 1: I mean, I was so full of shit for so
Speaker 1: many years, and guess I'm still all my bullshit. Me too,
Speaker 1: I'm still full of shit too, but it all came true.
Speaker 2: So just act like you know.
Speaker 1: It's the opposite of what I said ten minutes ago,
Speaker 1: which was lean into your short leading into your nervousness. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this isn't making sense anymore, this podcast where it's time
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's time where we have to go now.
Speaker 5: I like that. I like this.
Speaker 7: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give it a shot.
Speaker 4: You're gonna do great.
Speaker 1: If one of the pieces of advice don't work, try
Speaker 1: another piece of Yeah.
Speaker 2: Take care.
Speaker 1: Jenny feels to me like she really wants to get
Speaker 1: up on that stage.
Speaker 4: Yeah right, I mean.
Speaker 2: Even though she's nervous. No, I think she wants to
Speaker 2: be good at it.
Speaker 4: Like yea, she does.
Speaker 2: I think she's got to love it, but she's gonna Yeah.
Speaker 5: But anxiety is weird. It can just totally take over
Speaker 5: all of you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I realized.
Speaker 1: I mean, my friend was talking about anxiety the other
Speaker 1: day and I was like, oh, I go, yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess I do have anxiety. I always like to go
Speaker 1: around saying I don't have anxiety, but like being anxious
Speaker 1: to go to an event, or knowing you have to
Speaker 1: do something and it weighing on you all week or
Speaker 1: like for a couple of days.
Speaker 2: I hate, that's anxiety. That's anxiety.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I don't go out, you know, I'm like,
Speaker 5: even though I'm like, but I've been a party girl
Speaker 5: my whole life, Like, I actually am a very socially
Speaker 5: I'm an awkward human being and I'm socially.
Speaker 4: Awkward and weird and have social anxiety.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well I would never be able to tell that just
Speaker 1: sitting next to you, because I'm faking it, I know.
Speaker 2: And you're doing a great job.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going
Speaker 2: to be right back, and we're back.
Speaker 1: We're wrapping up with el King, who, By the way,
Speaker 1: I want to thank you for sharing your story earlier.
Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing that. I think that's going to
Speaker 2: be really helpful to a lot of our listeners because
Speaker 2: I've been there. It's in my new book.
Speaker 1: I have a chapter about some older celebrity calling me
Speaker 1: out on my bad behavior at a party where I
Speaker 1: did what you're talking about, you know, something similar when
Speaker 1: I was in my twenties, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: will never ever have that woman speak to me again,
Speaker 1: Like she's never gonna have to talk to me again,
Speaker 1: because I will fix the problem. Yeah, And so I
Speaker 1: think it's so it's another example of sisterhood of women,
Speaker 1: showing up for women and being graceful when somebody fucks up,
Speaker 1: like that is a great quality to be able to
Speaker 1: give to someone else, or it's not a quality, but
Speaker 1: it's a great gift you can give someone else when
Speaker 1: someone in your life does fuck up, like to be
Speaker 1: graceful to them about it, you know, like, Okay, I understand,
Speaker 1: you know you made a mistake.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to crucify you for this.
Speaker 1: And when they fuck up fifteen more times, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: and you say fuck off.
Speaker 5: I think my biggest take from everything that happened is, Okay,
Speaker 5: next time I see somebody going off the rails or
Speaker 5: doing something crazy or like, you know, maybe acting poorly.
Speaker 5: I now understand first and foremost as a mother, but
Speaker 5: also having gone through that, Okay, I have no idea
Speaker 5: what's going on behind the scenes. Obviously this is stemming
Speaker 5: from a place of hurt, fear, something that's going on
Speaker 5: that's really big.
Speaker 4: Maybe.
Speaker 5: So it's taught me a lot of empathy and grace
Speaker 5: and like humility, and I don't know, I'm not happy
Speaker 5: for it, but what I've learned from it is like
Speaker 5: just I mean, I'm still every day learning yet have
Speaker 5: a panic attack in the car though.
Speaker 2: I love your hands. They're so cute. Oh, thank you nice.
Speaker 1: And I like your nails that they're short, and your
Speaker 1: jewelry and your tattoos.
Speaker 2: Very cute hands.
Speaker 1: We'll have to showcase those on my Instagram feed when
Speaker 1: the episode comes out.
Speaker 2: We'll just show her hands. Thank cute hands. Thank you
Speaker 2: alk for being here. Thank you, hey, guys, so for
Speaker 2: stand up.
Speaker 1: We added a second show in Sydney, and we added
Speaker 1: a second show in Prior Lake, Minnesota, which is now
Speaker 1: going to be May twenty fourth. We added the Santa
Speaker 1: Barbara Bowl, which is so fun. I performed there last year.
Speaker 1: That's August seventeenth. The Santa Barbara Bowl. We added a
Speaker 1: second show at Santa Rosa on August second, and we
Speaker 1: added two dates at Hawaii. Guys, I'm coming to Hawaii
Speaker 1: on July nineteenth to CA Who Louis. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: at CA Who Louis, and then I'm coming on July
Speaker 1: twenty at to Honolulu. And I just added another date
Speaker 1: on August first, Auburn, Washington. So and all my Australia
Speaker 1: and New Zealand dates are up, and I will be
Speaker 1: announcing a European tour shortly and May third, which is
Speaker 1: my mother's birthday, Norman, Oklahoma, so come.
Speaker 3: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 3: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 3: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine Law and
Speaker 3: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 3: com