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Speaker 1: Oh, good morning Catherine, Good morning Chelsea. It's not morning,

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Speaker 1: is it morning? I don't know what time frame I'm on.

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Speaker 1: I've decided that time zones do not exist. I just

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Speaker 1: flew in. I was in New York for thirty six hours,

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Speaker 1: and now it's in my new Vegas residency. By the way, God,

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Chelsea at the Chelsea at the Cosmopolitan Theater.

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Speaker 2: Tickets go on sale.

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Speaker 1: Pre sale starts Saturday, and my first date is September first.

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Speaker 2: For Labor Day weekend. And I have four more.

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Speaker 1: Dates that I announced in September and October for Vegas,

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Speaker 1: and then we also added a whole other bunch of

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Speaker 1: shows for my Little Big Bitch tour. It's all the same,

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Speaker 1: so you know, whether you come there, you come to Vegas,

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Speaker 1: or come twice.

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Speaker 3: We love to come twice.

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Speaker 1: Yes, everyone likes to come twice. That's what I'll name

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Speaker 1: my next tour.

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Speaker 2: That'll be that.

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Speaker 1: Every time I name a tour, I put some bad

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Speaker 1: word in it, Like last tour was vaccinated, so it

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Speaker 1: got flats. Anytime someone forwarded it it would be like flagged.

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Speaker 1: And this time it was a Little Big Bitch, which

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Speaker 1: is also a problem putting bitch in a title. It's

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Speaker 1: like I don't know how to do anything. And I

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Speaker 1: remind her that I'm coming to the Santa Barbara Bowl,

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Speaker 1: which I'm so excited about.

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Speaker 2: And the King's Theater in Brooklyn. I cannot woo.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that's the other. I'm playing some venues that

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Speaker 1: I've wanted to for a long time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Santa Barbara Bowl I.

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Speaker 1: Played once before and it was epic. It's such a

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Speaker 1: beautiful spot.

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Speaker 4: Love it.

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Speaker 1: And then no, I've never played the King's Theater in Brooklyn,

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Speaker 1: and so that's exciting. Yes, I had a great time,

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Speaker 1: and I went. I saw Juliana Marguli's, you know, our

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Speaker 1: co host. She's great. She got a haircut and so

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Speaker 1: her hair was looking very she was looking very sexual.

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Speaker 3: Lest I mean, like still curly though right now straight.

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Speaker 2: It's been straight for a while.

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Speaker 3: I missed the curls.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know, but maybe it's been up.

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Speaker 5: I know.

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Speaker 2: You have to respect her and her privacy, which is

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Speaker 2: what I'm not doing.

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Speaker 3: Right now by outing her for having straight hair.

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Speaker 1: I'm also coming to Dallas, Texas, Austin, Texas, sugar Land, Texas,

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Speaker 1: all in November fifteenth, sixteen seventeenth, and I'm coming to

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Speaker 1: New Orleans and Atlanta, Georgia at the end of December,

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Speaker 1: so please get your tickets right before New Year's Eve?

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Speaker 2: What will I do this year for New Year's E?

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Speaker 3: What will you do?

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Speaker 1: Celebrate that? My house will fucking be done? Sorry, sorry, guys,

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Speaker 1: I hate to get aggressive.

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Speaker 3: That's okay. We had a little incident with the little

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Speaker 3: ol lady who runs the studio this morning.

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Speaker 1: Were dated on the floor like Doug did when we

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Speaker 1: shot the promos for Vegas.

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Speaker 3: Basically we headed out this morning and so I'm very

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Speaker 3: glad that we'll be at your podcast studio, which is.

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Speaker 2: Mon Oh you did.

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Speaker 3: You got to do it with her, and you know what,

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Speaker 3: Like it feels so fun when you're like totally justified

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Speaker 3: to be like back the fuck up, as you would say.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, back the duck up. According it depending on

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Speaker 1: who you're talking to.

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Speaker 3: But you know, there's always something when we come in

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Speaker 3: because somebody has changed a setting or locked out or whatever.

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Speaker 3: And she had the audacity to call me a pain

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Speaker 3: in the ass. And I went back and I said,

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Speaker 3: don't talk to me like that. And it was amazing.

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Speaker 3: I was joking as I said I know you were joking,

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Speaker 3: but don't talk to me like that. I don't appreciate it.

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Speaker 3: This is the workplace. I mean it just it felt

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Speaker 3: so good. Yess it felt.

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Speaker 1: I'm right wearing your Dear Chelsea hat. By the way,

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Speaker 1: merch is available at Chelseahandler dot com. Right where you

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Speaker 1: buy all your tickets from my shows. You can also

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Speaker 1: get merch for Dear Chelsea. I had a really really

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Speaker 1: meaningful conversation or exchange i should say, with this woman

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Speaker 1: at the airport the other day. Yes, I don't know

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Speaker 1: where data is, okay, so I just came straight from

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Speaker 1: the airport, so it could have been this morning, I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure, but about the podcast. And she was telling

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Speaker 1: me about an episode that really impacted her and how

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Speaker 1: much she loved it. It was really sweet, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, She's like, thank God for your podcast,

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Speaker 1: thank you and such great advice. I was like, really,

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Speaker 1: I sometimes I forget I even have a podcast, and

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Speaker 1: then I'm like, that's so wonderful.

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Speaker 3: I don't. I'm like, please let me pin you down

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Speaker 3: for like an hour so we can record.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know we have.

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Speaker 1: We just signed a new deal for our podcast. Guys,

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Speaker 1: so we're being here for a long time, that's right,

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Speaker 1: going into going into another two seasons.

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Speaker 3: Oh fabulous hearing that.

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Speaker 1: That's exciting, and so yes, I'm very grateful to all

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Speaker 1: of our listeners.

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Speaker 2: Do we have a call to action?

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Speaker 3: Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen in your life.

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Speaker 1: Karen, my old assistant, is back in my life, you guys.

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Speaker 1: Karen was my assistant. She was an intern on Chelsea Lately.

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Speaker 1: You could tell that I just had a caffeine pack.

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Speaker 1: I can't drink coffee, you guys, because I don't. It

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Speaker 1: makes me sweat. And I just got off a plane

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Speaker 1: from New York, which I'm already sweating because of how

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Speaker 1: gross that is, even though I took a shower and

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Speaker 1: then I took a wet white shower when I got here,

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Speaker 1: like a like a horse bath, which I'm not opposed

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Speaker 1: to at all.

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Speaker 2: But yes, Karen was an intern.

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Speaker 1: On Chelsea Lately, and then she became like an assistant

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Speaker 1: to my assistant, and then she became my main assistant,

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Speaker 1: and then she wanted to go work in the music business,

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Speaker 1: and now she's back in my life.

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Speaker 3: I'm thrilled. She is an awesome lady.

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Speaker 2: She's the best. She is the best.

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Speaker 1: It's so nice to be reunited with someone in your

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Speaker 1: life that you care so much about.

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Speaker 3: And someone who just like facilitates things and it's like pleasant.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's just she's great. I just think she's wonderful. Yes,

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Speaker 3: not as opposed to anyone else other than maybe the

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Speaker 3: lady from this morning.

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Speaker 1: Pleasantry is always nice, pleasant behavior.

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Speaker 3: We have a guest who's gonna be in studio today, Chelsea.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, I love this s girls music. I love

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Speaker 1: I love her attitude. I like everything about her. She's

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Speaker 1: got a new single out called Baby Daddy's Weekend and

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Speaker 1: her name is el King.

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Speaker 5: This is my first time. I never get to say

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Speaker 5: that anymore.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Doug, Oh, Doug, dog, it's going down on our gust.

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Speaker 4: It's already going so well.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 4: He just please know each other.

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Speaker 2: Please welcome Doug Handler and el King.

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Speaker 1: They arrived together in studio and Doug was just got

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Speaker 1: caught between her legs. Okay, now he's lying down, el King.

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about it. First of all, I'm

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Speaker 1: a huge fan.

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Speaker 2: Of your music. I love you. Would you consider yourself

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Speaker 2: a country music artist?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I would good because I shouldn't be categorizing

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Speaker 1: any sort of music.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you're a country musician.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, now I make country now, yes.

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Speaker 2: As opposed to earlier when you did it make country?

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Speaker 6: Well.

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Speaker 5: When I first started, I was making alternative rock and

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Speaker 5: it crossed over into pop. So I was in that

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Speaker 5: kind of whole world for a while. And then I

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Speaker 5: sang a duet with this big country his named Dirk Spentley,

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Speaker 5: and i'le him, I know him, okay, sick, yeah, great,

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Speaker 5: great guy, thank you, chiseled Abs, And I was like,

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Speaker 5: Country's more fun.

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Speaker 2: Country does that? Country is more fun?

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Speaker 1: But it also feels like country is broader than it

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Speaker 1: used to be.

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Speaker 5: And it still is evolving and changing in a lot

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Speaker 5: of different ways. And they haven't well, they tried to

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Speaker 5: kick me out, but I'm holding on for dear life.

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Speaker 2: How did they?

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Speaker 1: I mean, first of all, I want to comment on

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Speaker 1: all of your tattoos, because you're the first woman that

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Speaker 1: I've sat this close to with a.

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Speaker 2: Necked up do I think?

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Speaker 6: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, and I've never I've never seen what is

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Speaker 2: that a snake? A serpent? Yeah? Yeah, a serpent? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: My favorite? Really fucking hate snakes. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: like hold one, but you want one on your neck?

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, Okay, So when they first tried to kick

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Speaker 1: you out, what happened?

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Speaker 4: No, they didn't try to kick me out for a while.

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Speaker 5: I feel like Country was pretty like warm and welcoming

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Speaker 5: to me, and they still are. I think a lot

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Speaker 5: of the people in the country world are rebels in

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Speaker 5: a lot of ways, which I kind of related to.

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Speaker 5: And my family's from Ohio, and so I felt kind

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Speaker 5: of at home in that space where I felt very

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Speaker 5: not at home or comfortable in the pop world because

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Speaker 5: I was like this thick bitch and people were kind

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Speaker 5: of mean and drinking green drinks and I was.

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Speaker 4: Like, I like getting shit fazed.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, and a lot of people just didn't really

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Speaker 5: vibe with me. And then Country was like, we drink

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Speaker 5: and have fun and it's cool and we also like

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Speaker 5: play arenas, and I was like, oh, that's sick.

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Speaker 1: I know, it's funny to think that, like a certain

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Speaker 1: genres of music for certain types of behavior. Yeah, like

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Speaker 1: rap is one category and then country. But pop stars

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Speaker 1: aren't allowed to be fucked up or drinking or smoking.

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Speaker 2: Why I don't know. I mean, that's the problem.

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Speaker 1: Is that they should be drinking and smoking, like out

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Speaker 1: in the open so it doesn't become such a problem.

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Speaker 1: You know, like a little bit of this and a

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Speaker 1: little bit of that goes a longer way than most

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Speaker 1: people think, rather than putting up guardrails and saying no,

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Speaker 1: you can't do this. Yeah, that usually backfires. So what

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Speaker 1: age did you start to become pretty successful?

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Speaker 5: I'd say like around twenty six I got signed. I

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Speaker 5: mean I've been playing shows and touring since I was

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Speaker 5: like fifteen years old.

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Speaker 2: And did that mean you missed out on high school?

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Speaker 5: Oh my gosh. I went to so many different schools.

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Speaker 5: I got kicked out of every school that I went to.

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Speaker 5: I was very bad in school. I didn't give a shit.

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Speaker 5: And I don't know, but like teachers from all the

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Speaker 5: schools I went to would like come to my shows,

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Speaker 5: and my mom would like help me get into bars.

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Speaker 5: She didn't care I had a fake ID or anything.

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Speaker 5: And I got signed around like twenty two, twenty three,

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Speaker 5: and then slept with a lot of people, wrote x's

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Speaker 5: and no's and I was probably around twenty six, And

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Speaker 5: that song kind of just blew up.

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Speaker 1: A lot of things you're saying. Remind me very much

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Speaker 1: of my own experience. Okay, yeah, yeah, I wrote My

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Speaker 1: first book was about sleeping with a lot of guys,

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Speaker 1: and that put me on the map in books.

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Speaker 4: I mean, there's money in hoeing.

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Speaker 2: There is, and there weren't enough.

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Speaker 1: You know what the thing is is there weren't enough

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Speaker 1: women talking about it because we're only now experiencing women

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Speaker 1: being proud of being able to say, yeah, I sleep

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Speaker 1: around a lot and I actually enjoy that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I enjoy multiple lovers in my life.

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Speaker 1: That is a goal of mine and I have accomplished

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Speaker 1: it and I'm very happy about it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you have a son.

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Speaker 1: I do because one of your songs is Baby Baby

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Speaker 1: Daddy's Weekend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right, and that's about your baby's daddy. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So how does that play into your lifestyle? How does

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Speaker 1: that play into touring? What do you do with your son?

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Speaker 1: How old is he?

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Speaker 4: He's two and a half.

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Speaker 5: Oh, he's yeah, he's like like have like a kid.

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Speaker 5: He's so cute, he's so cool. He's traveled all over

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Speaker 5: the world with me. He's like hugged kangaroos in Australia

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Speaker 5: at two years old. Like, that's pretty cool. And he's

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Speaker 5: I don't know, he's my little road dog.

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Speaker 2: And how does you just take him everywhere you go?

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Speaker 4: I take him everywhere I go.

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Speaker 1: And how many days a year are you touring? Like

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Speaker 1: how many shows a year do you do?

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Speaker 2: Typically?

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Speaker 4: Probably like one hundred and fifty two hundred.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, last year we did a lot and the

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Speaker 5: baby was with me, I mean everywhere that I went.

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Speaker 5: Now he's getting a little bit older, and I because

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Speaker 5: I co parent, he'll come with me on my weeks.

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Speaker 1: Right, So tell me about the music, like the industry,

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Speaker 1: and your experience as a woman, and your experience with

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Speaker 1: other women who've helped you like along the way or

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Speaker 1: men who have helped you along the way.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I've had like a lot of great people

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Speaker 5: that I've met along the way.

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Speaker 4: A lot of men never.

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Speaker 5: Really knew what to do with me because they either

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Speaker 5: like didn't like me because they weren't attracted to me,

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Speaker 5: or they hated me because they weren't attracted to me.

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Speaker 5: But they knew that I was a good singer, and

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Speaker 5: so like I had like a lot of like weird

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Speaker 5: experiences of like having to push to that.

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Speaker 4: But I also grew up like like a.

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Speaker 5: Fat girl, so I had to be really funny, and

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Speaker 5: I was always in trouble and I could talk my

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Speaker 5: way like I've never been arrested, Like believe it or not.

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Speaker 5: I know, neck tattoo is shocker, but like I've talked

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Speaker 5: my way out of handcuffs because I can.

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Speaker 4: Make some I could make guy laugh, you know.

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Speaker 5: But I saw a lot of weird things in Hollywood,

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Speaker 5: and it was like kind of weird to me, and

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Speaker 5: nobody seemed very happy. But I loved music and I

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Speaker 5: was a very emotional teenager and a really really sensitive

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Speaker 5: and emotional child, and when I started playing music, it

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Speaker 5: was like the only thing that I could like put

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Speaker 5: my emotions down. And it's like this cathartic thing to

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Speaker 5: like write songs, you know. So I got like my

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Speaker 5: first residency in Brooklyn when I was like sixteen years old,

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Speaker 5: and people just started hearing me and I went by

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Speaker 5: my mom's last name and just kind of took off

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Speaker 5: from there. And then the people who helped me are

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Speaker 5: like a lot of friends. Like I was laughing with

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Speaker 5: my friend today of fifteen years she was like, yeah, bitch.

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Speaker 4: Your first help myself, West, I fucking gave you money

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Speaker 4: to buy fucking clothes. And I don't know. I feel

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Speaker 4: very blessed.

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Speaker 1: I always think like, no success is your own, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, It belongs to all of the

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Speaker 1: people who helped.

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Speaker 2: You achieve it.

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Speaker 3: Totally.

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Speaker 1: I always get asked that question about women because when

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Speaker 1: I was coming up, women were like, you weren't on

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Speaker 1: each other's side. There wasn't room for a lot of women,

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Speaker 1: and so like now that just seems to be melting

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Speaker 1: away where people are like, oh no, we can actually

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Speaker 1: celebrate the success someone. You know, blowing somebody else's candle

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Speaker 1: out doesn't make yours brighter. There's a room for everybody.

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Speaker 1: But that feels more recent that vibe. Yeah, unfortunately.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, my candle is usually like behind and like a

305
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Speaker 5: dumpster or something, or under your car. Yeah, under my

306
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Speaker 5: car fucking just got towed. So so do you like touring?

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Speaker 2: Do you like being on the road?

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Speaker 4: I do. I feel like I'm better at that.

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Speaker 5: You're either made for touring or you're not, and you

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Speaker 5: find out real fucking quick. I'm definitely made for it.

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Speaker 5: I don't do well sitting in one place for a

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Speaker 5: long time. I go totally nuts. I'm kind of kooky,

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Speaker 5: I guess in a lot of ways, but like I

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Speaker 5: actually crave schedule and routine, and also like my touring family,

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Speaker 5: like my band. Most of them have been with me

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Speaker 5: for like over eight years, so they're my longest relationship

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Speaker 5: and they're incredible human beings and they're the most talented musicians.

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Speaker 5: They've taught me everything that I know, and they've stuck

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Speaker 5: by me through like a lot of bullshit.

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Speaker 1: What you're just saying about structure, you know, with personalities

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Speaker 1: that are very creative. Because I don't like everything you're saying.

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Speaker 1: I can't I agree with so much. I don't like

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Speaker 1: to be stuck in one place. I don't like to

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Speaker 1: be tethered. I don't like someone to say I have

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Speaker 1: to even be anywhere for like six unless it's my

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Speaker 1: choice and I'm skiing because I could do that for

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Speaker 1: six weeks, but I don't like that. And when when

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Speaker 1: structure is provided, even in like you know, as you're

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Speaker 1: wandering around the world, but there's a structure to it,

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Speaker 1: you're able to actually let your creative juices fly in

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Speaker 1: a much more Yeah, you know, because you do have

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Speaker 1: the structure. Without the structure, you'd be a fucking hot mess,

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Speaker 1: Like I would be a mess. I need some sort

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Speaker 1: of parameters.

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Speaker 5: As long as I'm in control and no one is

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Speaker 5: telling me what to do, that's great.

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Speaker 2: That's great. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: Have you had any major blow ups with men in

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Speaker 1: this business? You don't have to name names, but where

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Speaker 1: you really had to lay into a man, because I

341
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Speaker 1: did that recently and it felt great.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

343
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Speaker 1: My friend was listening outside because I was just retelling

344
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Speaker 1: the story this weekend and my friend was listening outside

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Speaker 1: and when I came out of the room that I was,

346
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Speaker 1: you know, reading him in, she said, how did you

347
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,560
Speaker 1: learn how to talk to men like that? And I

348
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,640
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'll teach you. Yeah, you got to

349
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Speaker 1: stand up for yourself, girl.

350
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Speaker 5: Yeah, I've had like a lot of moments, and I

351
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,600
Speaker 5: mean probably too many that I can't even be like, like, let.

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Speaker 1: Me just sift through and see not any particular ones

353
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Speaker 1: that you're very proud of the way you handled yourself.

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Speaker 4: Never that's a hard, no.

355
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Speaker 2: Good answer.

356
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Speaker 5: Yeah, but I think it from their perspective, because you know,

357
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Speaker 5: I hate this about myself, but like, I try to

358
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Speaker 5: see from both sides.

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Speaker 4: But I don't know, I grew up around a lot

360
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Speaker 4: of actors, and.

361
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Speaker 5: Like it's just weird that like people get mad at

362
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Speaker 5: you because of who your parents are. And I don't

363
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Speaker 5: know if my son is gonna want to be a singer.

364
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,080
Speaker 5: I don't Maybe he wants to be an actor, you know,

365
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,600
Speaker 5: no offense, but I hope not a comedian, and like

366
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Speaker 5: I don't want him to be like, well fuck me,

367
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Speaker 5: like my mom is. Like the drunk country singer.

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Speaker 1: You know, you had a bad experience right where you

369
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Speaker 1: were performing somewhere and you got in trouble for being

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Speaker 1: drunk on stage.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I've also been there, Okay, and what happened.

372
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Speaker 1: I didn't really get into trouble, but I did it,

373
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Speaker 1: and like it was, it was a big show with

374
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Speaker 1: thousands of people. Yeah, and I just was embarrassed. I

375
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,760
Speaker 1: wasn't like a news item, but I've done.

376
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Speaker 3: It, Chelsea. Was it in like the time before everything

377
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Speaker 3: was picked apart on social media?

378
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Speaker 5: Yeah?

379
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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah.

380
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Speaker 4: Oh that's so nice.

381
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Speaker 2: Yeah that's great. That's what Yeah.

382
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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm okay, So this is my first time actually

383
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Speaker 5: talking about it.

384
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Speaker 4: Okay, that was really crazy.

385
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Speaker 2: Tell us what happened?

386
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Speaker 5: All right, Okay, Okay, So I did a big no. No,

387
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:43,160
Speaker 5: I not only cussed on stage, hammered at the Grand

388
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Speaker 5: ol Opry, but it was Dolly Parton's birthday and it

389
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,960
Speaker 5: was the Opry was doing a Dolly Parton tribute. I

390
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,920
Speaker 5: haven't spoken about it because one I.

391
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Speaker 2: Had to just chill.

392
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Speaker 4: It was a big deal. There were two shows that night.

393
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Speaker 5: I know, in in like stand up comedy, like a

394
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,600
Speaker 5: lot of times, there's two shows a day, so there

395
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,800
Speaker 5: was an early show and then a late show. I

396
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,439
Speaker 5: had been going through something very heavy and traumatic in

397
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Speaker 5: my life at the time, and that day was a

398
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Speaker 5: really big day dealing with what I was going through,

399
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Speaker 5: and then I'm still going through and I suffer from

400
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,440
Speaker 5: like severe PTSD.

401
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 4: That day.

402
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 5: I hadn't eaten, I hadn't slept in days, and I

403
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,640
Speaker 5: was really overwhelmed. I was like a shell of myself.

404
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,639
Speaker 5: And they called me and there was a big snowstorm

405
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 5: that day, and this other singer who's supposed to be

406
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,080
Speaker 5: the headliner backed out like three hours before, and they

407
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,000
Speaker 5: asked me if I would sing, if I would be

408
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,760
Speaker 5: the headliner and sing Joeline. I was like, great, I

409
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:48,360
Speaker 5: know that song, first show, fucking perfect. I take one

410
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 5: shot too many and I'm just not there in my body,

411
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,480
Speaker 5: I'm not there. I don't remember it all I remember,

412
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 5: I don't even remember what I said.

413
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,000
Speaker 4: I know now what I said.

414
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 5: I said, I'm milking and I'm fucking hay, and I

415
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:05,239
Speaker 5: got the curtain dropped on me and then like I

416
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 5: just get like flashes of this and I was totally

417
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:13,200
Speaker 5: disassociated and I just cut to like the dressing room,

418
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Speaker 5: me like on the floor.

419
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Speaker 4: Just like sobbing, like what have I done?

420
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Speaker 5: And then the next day it was like everywhere everywhere,

421
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 5: and I was mortified, and I hand wrote an apology

422
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:33,120
Speaker 5: letter to the opry, and I hand wrote an apology

423
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 5: letter to Dolly, and Dolly called me a couple days later,

424
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Speaker 5: and she's just like literally, she's like proof that angels exist.

425
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 5: She just gave me really kind words and told me.

426
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Speaker 4: Well, dollar's not mad she why should the world be?

427
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,840
Speaker 5: And made me laugh and like like that's the kindness

428
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 5: from women, you know, Like that's that's the stuff that

429
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,760
Speaker 5: I've received that I'll never forget ever. Because I wanted

430
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 5: to fucking die and I don't know, I had to

431
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 5: like remove myself from the population for a while because

432
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:12,160
Speaker 5: it just it wasn't getting any better.

433
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Speaker 4: It's like, you know, if I had a dick, would

434
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 4: it be different? I don't know.

435
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,960
Speaker 5: But I also didn't want to even put any energy

436
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 5: into that because one, regardless of what I was doing

437
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,840
Speaker 5: in my life and what was happening to me, that

438
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,240
Speaker 5: I don't feel like I owe to anybody in the

439
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 5: fucking world to try and explain. And I also don't

440
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:34,000
Speaker 5: think that it does excuse the fact that maybe I

441
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 5: shouldn't have fucking been drinking. You know, this is like

442
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,159
Speaker 5: a sacred stage, and I fucked up. And so for

443
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 5: all the people who are asking for an apology from me, Hey,

444
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 5: if you were there that night and I didn't get

445
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 5: a chance to say I'm sorry to you, I apologize.

446
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 3: And I saw like your posts from around that time

447
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:52,320
Speaker 3: as well, and the fact that you were like, to

448
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,919
Speaker 3: everyone you know who was there, I love you and

449
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,639
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, And to everyone who's just being a dick

450
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,440
Speaker 3: to me on the internet, I love it and I'm sorry.

451
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 3: That was more of your exact words. But I thought

452
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,760
Speaker 3: that was like very big of you, because people are

453
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,159
Speaker 3: kind of just nasty all of the time about anything

454
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 3: on the internet these days.

455
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 5: People were telling me to surrender my child, that I'm

456
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:14,199
Speaker 5: an unfit mother, and that I should off myself.

457
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,400
Speaker 3: And like, which is crazy.

458
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,959
Speaker 5: Maybe I did have a little like aggression built up

459
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,280
Speaker 5: of that, and it's like the people who were sending

460
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 5: me these messages weren't at the show, and like I feel,

461
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 5: you know, Doll even said it, like no one is

462
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 5: going to be harder on me than me, Like I

463
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,680
Speaker 5: I was very very hard on myself, and I'm mortified, Like.

464
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 2: Yes, and that's it, and that's it. That's all you

465
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 2: can do, is like you we all make mistakes like that,

466
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 2: Everyone makes mistakes, whether they're that kind of mistake or

467
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 2: different kind, it doesn't matter.

468
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,479
Speaker 5: So but I will say like that was me hitting

469
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,119
Speaker 5: a massive brick wall, and I made changes in my

470
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 5: life and I feel like I'm becoming a stronger person

471
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 5: because of it, and I'm not grateful for it. But

472
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 5: at the same time, like I can find a silver

473
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:02,879
Speaker 5: lining and literally anything, and like I'm gonna choose to

474
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,679
Speaker 5: use this as a tool to not defeat me, but

475
00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:08,399
Speaker 5: to make me hopefully a better person, and I can

476
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 5: learn from my mistakes. Now, I don't drink before I

477
00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 5: go up and sing. And they're the best shows I've

478
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,960
Speaker 5: ever played. And I'm proud to say that, you know.

479
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I still drink before I perform I can't

480
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 1: announce that, so I don't want anyone.

481
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 2: To get their hopes up. That's something different is gonna

482
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 2: happen for me. Okay. On that note, we're going to

483
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 2: take a break and we'll be right back.

484
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 3: If you need advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea

485
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,680
Speaker 3: Podcast at gmail dot com. You can ask about your

486
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 3: biggest dating conundrums, the cheating scandal that's rocking your friend group,

487
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,439
Speaker 3: the funniest marital disagreements you need Chelsea to weigh in on,

488
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 3: or anything else that's Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com.

489
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 2: And we're back without back.

490
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 1: We're back with olkid Catherine and questions from callers.

491
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 3: So many questions. We actually have some very fun and

492
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:59,679
Speaker 3: specific ones from people who are in music. So okay, great,

493
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 3: first question, We're gonna go to a caller first. She's

494
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 3: about to go on stage in London, so we'll get

495
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 3: her on her merry way. So Fie is thirty two

496
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:13,719
Speaker 3: and her subject line is love on tour, Dear Chelsea.

497
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 3: I'm a touring musician who's on the road about seven

498
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 3: or eight months out of the year. I've had trouble

499
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,920
Speaker 3: keeping relationships alive when I'm gone so often that I've

500
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 3: given up and then spent a good year and a

501
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,640
Speaker 3: half exploring myself and had a great time hooking up

502
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,360
Speaker 3: all over the world. But now I have a boyfriend

503
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,199
Speaker 3: that I truly love, and I want to ensure that

504
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,959
Speaker 3: our relationship survives the ups and downs of tour life.

505
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 3: He doesn't have a visa to visit America. We live

506
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,440
Speaker 3: in Mexico and he's from Mexico City, so he can't

507
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,119
Speaker 3: just up and visit me in the States or Europe

508
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 3: when I have time off. So, besides communication and trusting

509
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 3: the process, as a fellow touring entertainer, what advice do

510
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,399
Speaker 3: you have to keep things exciting and to not let

511
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 3: your fears and anxieties creep in. I'm really great at

512
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 3: self sabotaging, and I'd really like to see this relationship

513
00:22:55,840 --> 00:23:00,439
Speaker 3: survive the next three months. Stint, I'm gone for fie.

514
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 4: Hi, Effie, Hi, how are you?

515
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 2: Oh?

516
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,360
Speaker 1: We're good, thank you. We have our special guest, al

517
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: King is here today. She's gonna help give us advice.

518
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 2: Yes, you're talking to two people who tour for a living,

519
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 2: So that's perfect.

520
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,400
Speaker 7: Exactly perfect, That's exactly what I need.

521
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: Would you like to go first.

522
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 5: I'd love to go first. I feel like as a

523
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,680
Speaker 5: touring musician, any relationship you're in is a long distance relationship,

524
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 5: so you have to have a very strong, firm foundation

525
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:32,679
Speaker 5: of trust. Otherwise there's no there's nothing to build on.

526
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,919
Speaker 1: They also don't sound like they've had enough time to

527
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 1: build a foundation on.

528
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,040
Speaker 4: How long have you been together?

529
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 7: Seven months?

530
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 6: And that's two and a half of those months I

531
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 6: was on tour back in November and December, so it's

532
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 6: like we've only really been together three and a half

533
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 6: four months.

534
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,359
Speaker 1: Well, that's enough to build some sort of foundation. Yeah, Also,

535
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: are you concerned about his.

536
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 2: Behavior while you're away? Whose behavior are you concerned about? Yours?

537
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 6: I'm I'm not even I'm not even really concerned about

538
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 6: the behavior is just well, I've had boyfriends who have

539
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,040
Speaker 6: cheated in the past, wrong them away because they just

540
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 6: use that as an excuse to go to other people.

541
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 6: So I think I'm just I just have my own

542
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 6: mental stress and struggles about Like, you know, I trust

543
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,679
Speaker 6: him and I love him very much, but it's just

544
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 6: the communication that's really hard, especially now I'm in England

545
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 6: and he's in Mexico, so there's an eight hour time difference,

546
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 6: and I don't expect him to talk to me all

547
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 6: day every day.

548
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 7: I just I need something.

549
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 2: Are you checking in? Are you texting at all?

550
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 7: Oh? I text all the time. I'm one of those

551
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 7: annoying multiple bubble kind of texts.

552
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, me too.

553
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 7: But he's just inherently not a phone person. And you know,

554
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 7: he's just he doesn't look at it.

555
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 4: He doesn't think you know that flag is Rojo.

556
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 7: It's so I know, it's so annoying.

557
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 6: He's like that even when we're together, like if somebody's

558
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 6: text sim he just he doesn't look at the phone.

559
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 6: When we're together one on one, I am priority, which

560
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 6: is awesome. Like we never touch our phones unless we're

561
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 6: playing like a little game together.

562
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 7: So I love that very much about him.

563
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 6: So I understand why he's not constantly on his phone

564
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,160
Speaker 6: to text me. But when I think of him, I'm like, hey,

565
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 6: I hope you're having a great day. And it just

566
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:23,920
Speaker 6: seems like I have to like pool that out.

567
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 7: Of him, you know, and it is fucking annoying.

568
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:31,879
Speaker 5: Have you communicated to him that you would crave like

569
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,719
Speaker 5: a faster response, because I'm a rapid texter and if

570
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,880
Speaker 5: I don't get like immediate gratification.

571
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 4: We have a problem.

572
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 2: I'm like that as well.

573
00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 6: Yeah, I like texting, Yeah, I like texting, and God,

574
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 6: I would rather choke on a needle than FaceTime or call,

575
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 6: like on the phone. I have a social anxiety about that,

576
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,119
Speaker 6: even if it's people I love. But yeah, actually, just

577
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 6: yesterday because I was at the airport waiting to board

578
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,239
Speaker 6: my flight to London, so I had many and I

579
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 6: finally texted him and I said, Hey, you know, officially

580
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,199
Speaker 6: right now, things are going to get really hard and

581
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 6: I need for you to be better and be a

582
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,239
Speaker 6: little bit more aware of what's going on with our

583
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,560
Speaker 6: relationship and it's it's going to be hard.

584
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 7: And I don't think he's really processed that yet.

585
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 4: Has he responded?

586
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 2: Oh?

587
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah he did, Yeah.

588
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,800
Speaker 4: He did. Yeah what did he say?

589
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 6: It was actually better than I anticipated. I thought he

590
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 6: was going to kind of get on my case about

591
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,919
Speaker 6: being needy or being annoying, but he said, I know

592
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 6: that I need to be better, and I know that

593
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 6: you know, I'm not a phone person, but when it

594
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 6: comes to love and reassurance, it needs to be more often.

595
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 7: So I'm sorry. He apologized, and I appreciate that.

596
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:49,639
Speaker 4: This is I mean, I feel like you.

597
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you already solved your problem before

598
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 2: you called.

599
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 7: I know, but I think it's my like, how do

600
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 7: you not stifle That's not the right word, but so like,

601
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 7: how do you kind of put your.

602
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 6: Own anxieties at ease? Like I'm just a naturally anxious

603
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 6: person all the time. Yeah, so my mind immediately goes

604
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 6: to like the darkest place possible. And with relationships where

605
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 6: I've had experience that and really badly because they get

606
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 6: bored that I'm not home, or they have their own jealousy,

607
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 6: or they have their own insecurities. It's just I want

608
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 6: to make sure that I tread carefully and correctly to

609
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 6: make sure that this lasts.

610
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 5: Can I say something what I heard and what I

611
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 5: took from everything that you just said. It sounds like

612
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 5: maybe there's some inner work that you can do to

613
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 5: find calm and peace within you and trust yourself and

614
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 5: your own gut and your own intuition that will only

615
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 5: help fuel a loving relationship outwardly if you start inside

616
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 5: first and calm that. And I think with that kind

617
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 5: of self love and self trust and like all of

618
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 5: that comes, you know, leaving a lot of the other

619
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 5: past traumas from other relationships and not being carried into

620
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,880
Speaker 5: the next one. That's what I don't do that personally,

621
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 5: but I feel like that could maybe be helpful for you.

622
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what else, I think you definitely need

623
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,120
Speaker 1: to do that. You have to start having a different

624
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 1: conversation with yourself because it's like you're letting your negative

625
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: thoughts overpower your positive thoughts. And with distance in time

626
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 1: like there, you cannot control what another person is gonna do. Okay,

627
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: So that's one thing, and I understand you think you

628
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 1: can by facilitating getting closer while you're gone. You've communicated

629
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 1: to him that you're gonna need more attention via text

630
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,760
Speaker 1: or whatever that means. And even if it's texting, like

631
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 1: that's that's kind of like a relief to a lot

632
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 1: of people, Like you don't have to get on the phone,

633
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: you don't have to face time, you just have to text,

634
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: like keep up the communication. That's something that he could

635
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 1: do for you to assuaze your fears. But what you

636
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: can do to assuaze your fears is also if you

637
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 1: sit down and think of the worst possible scenario, which

638
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,280
Speaker 1: would be to what that he cheated on you, right,

639
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 1: think of that, Think of that actually happening. You find

640
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: out he cheated on you, and then you break up

641
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 1: and then you're you like it's you're gonna be fine

642
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 1: no matter what the fuck happens.

643
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm saying?

644
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:21,440
Speaker 1: Like, so you break up, Yeah, you're heartbroken or whatever,

645
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: You're gonna survive that too. Like, so all of this

646
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 1: worry and you're doing, like worrying to what availed? Do

647
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: you think you're gonna die? Like, You're not gonna die.

648
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: You're worried about someone cheating and you're worried about communication

649
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 1: Like that can't be your driving attitude, you know what

650
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: I mean? Your driving attitude has to be way more

651
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: focused and centered on what you're doing in your present

652
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: moment than occupying yourself with the negative possibilities. So that's

653
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 1: a conversation, like she said that you have to keep

654
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: having with yourself, and also a therapist or a like

655
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: guided meditation something that's gonna teach you how to calm

656
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: down and to breathe out your nerves. You know when

657
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 1: you have when they overcome you. Because if you see

658
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: with it and you think, Okay, I'm having this feeling

659
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 1: I'm worried he's gonna cheat on me, then sit with it.

660
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: Go Okay, well what if he did cheat on me?

661
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 1: What would happen? Then well we would have to break out.

662
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 1: That would suck, but you would still be alive and

663
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: you would still survive. It's like it's even the worst

664
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 1: possible scenario. Isn't that bad?

665
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 2: It just sounds you know what I'm saying.

666
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 7: Yeah, it sounds worse than it will be, you know.

667
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 1: And then if you go through all those feelings, it's

668
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 1: almost like you extinguish. You're like, Okay, yeah, that would

669
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: really suck. Now let me get on with the rest

670
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: of my day.

671
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 7: Wow, Yeah, I agree. I agree with all that. Me

672
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 7: and Hill are both like down yeah up, No, I

673
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 7: mean I totally I totally agree.

674
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 6: And I'm doing this like journaling process called the Artist's Way,

675
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 6: and it's basically just a journaling Like every day you

676
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 6: wake up and you do three pages of just like

677
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 6: conscious streaming, just letting out all of your stuff. And

678
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 6: I'm like finding myself aggravated because all of my writing

679
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 6: is just like Okay, I gotta like think about this

680
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,240
Speaker 6: relationship and why it is happening, and I'm angry about this,

681
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 6: and I'm like, it's seriously taking over like my brain

682
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 6: and it's unhealthy.

683
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're obsessing.

684
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: You're obsessing over your relationship, and it's you got to

685
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: like figure out a way to internally dial that back

686
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: because that's not serving you. So you have to start

687
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:18,960
Speaker 1: thinking about all the other things in your life that

688
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 1: you're grateful for, and start thinking about that and journaling

689
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 1: about that every morning to get your mind a little

690
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 1: bit more balanced. You know, talk about the thing, what

691
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 1: are you grateful for? Your family, what your job, your life?

692
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, my job, music, travel, you know, all the all

693
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 6: the things that I get to do because the music

694
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 6: is incredible, So I'm very grateful for all of that.

695
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 2: You're getting on stage soon to perform in front of

696
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 2: a live audience, right, yeah, like forty minutes, So fucking

697
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 2: focus on that.

698
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: Focus on enjoy love and sunshine into everyone who's there

699
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: to see, who you're performing with and everybody's on stage.

700
00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 1: Like emanate the love and like happiness that you want

701
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,200
Speaker 1: to feel. Just do that on stage tonight and be

702
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 1: focused only on that you're there in front of all

703
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: these people.

704
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 2: Go serve it up to them.

705
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:06,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, I agree, with that. Thank you.

706
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, and once you get all of the anxiety out

707
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 3: of the way, As someone who is married to a

708
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 3: touring musician, I will say, a tasteful nude goes a

709
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 3: long way.

710
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 4: Also, just like FaceTime sex is like.

711
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 2: Do you have sex on FaceTime? I'm on the road

712
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 2: all the time, I've never done that.

713
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 7: Well, I've ever done that.

714
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 2: You're welcome.

715
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 3: No.

716
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 6: And also like he he is definitely like he has

717
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 6: no game whatsoever, Like I can't even imagine what trying

718
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 6: to like get a nude from him would be.

719
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,080
Speaker 1: Like, let's not focus on that. Let's just focus on

720
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: the previous advice. Okay, you can deal with your news

721
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 1: on your own time. Yes, we can't counsel on that.

722
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: It's illegal.

723
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 2: Okay, Well I have a great show tonight.

724
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 7: Thank you so much. I appreciate you guys. Thank you.

725
00:32:54,120 --> 00:33:00,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks bye. Seriously, it's like I'm upset. First of well,

726
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 1: FaceTime sex FaceTime, Like it's not really You're just masturbating

727
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 1: on FaceTime?

728
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 2: Is that what it is?

729
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's great. Can't get pregnant.

730
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,479
Speaker 1: You can't get pregnant on FaceTime. You want to make

731
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 1: a bet somebody will get pregnant on face time.

732
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 4: I'm not a doctor.

733
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 1: TIF talk will happen first, But somebody's gonna get pregnant online.

734
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 2: That's what's gonna happen next.

735
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 3: I mean, Chelsea gets people pregnant on this show.

736
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: I get you'll get your period when you leave here,

737
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,840
Speaker 1: and you'll get pregnant. Oh my gosh, I'm very powerful.

738
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: I have a very powerful female energy. Okay, great, yes,

739
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:35,160
Speaker 1: well our next question. It comes from me, says dear Chelsea.

740
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 1: I'm a straight woman who started a new job this

741
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: year and immediately hit it off as friends. The gay

742
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 1: male coworker. Not to stereotype, but he's pop culture savvy,

743
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,400
Speaker 1: very stylish.

744
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 3: Gently spoken, and just overall adorable. I recently learned, after

745
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 3: forming a solid friendship over the past five months, that oops,

746
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 3: turns out, he dates women. This threw me for a loop.

747
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 3: Thinking that he was into men made it much easier

748
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 3: to have a friendship with him. Now that I know

749
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,479
Speaker 3: what might be possible, I can't stop thinking about him

750
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 3: while trying to get my work done. He makes me

751
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 3: laugh every day that we work together. On the days

752
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 3: I know we'll both be in office, I feel giddy

753
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 3: and excited to get to work. I have butterflies around him,

754
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 3: and we vibe together. The problem is, I'm married. I've

755
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 3: been with my husband for a long time and honestly

756
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 3: feel very satisfied in our relationship. We still have deep conversations,

757
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,720
Speaker 3: we laugh together, have a great sex life, and overall

758
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 3: profound connection. So it's not as if I'm not getting

759
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,760
Speaker 3: my needs met and therefore seeking them out elsewhere.

760
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet you are getting your knees Matt. I'm

761
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 2: fucking greedy, Jesus.

762
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 3: I think it's just the fact that these feelings are

763
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 3: new and therefore exciting. How do I work with this

764
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,240
Speaker 3: person and avoid getting too close? How do I eventually

765
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 3: get over this crush? How do I keep myself from cheating?

766
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 3: I can't imagine actually doing that, but the fantasy is there. Mia.

767
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 2: Nah, First of all, you better shut the fuck up.

768
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: Okay, you have a great husband, who you're having sex with,

769
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 1: who you're having deep conversations with, and who you laugh with.

770
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:03,280
Speaker 1: You're busy worried about your crush. Remember that a crush

771
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: is a crush. It doesn't mean anything, and you can

772
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 1: control yourself because you're an adult woman. Yeah, so try

773
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 1: not to fuck your coworker. Okay, you can do it.

774
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 4: That's that's kind of me. I get it.

775
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 5: But also like if you have a good husband who's

776
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 5: making you laugh and fucks you like and is nice, like,

777
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 5: don't fuck that up?

778
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 2: Yes exactly, Yeah, don't fuck it up.

779
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 4: I mean you thought this guy was gay for like

780
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 4: five months and now you like want to fuck it

781
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 4: because he made you laugh and like.

782
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 5: Talks about fucking the housewives. Like, no, just stick to

783
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:36,359
Speaker 5: your husband and like, have a fucking work crush, please.

784
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, welcome the crush. It's fun to have a crush.

785
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 4: You're gonna fucking blow it for you and for everybody.

786
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 2: Thank you. That's enough. Set on that topic.

787
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 1: Let's leave it to leave it on that note perfectly sad,

788
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 1: all right.

789
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,879
Speaker 3: Our next color is Jenny. She is in New York.

790
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea. I opened a music venue with my husband

791
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 3: almost a year ago now, and it's going as expected.

792
00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,359
Speaker 3: Lat It's of joy and also stress. I've worked in

793
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 3: restaurants and jazz clubs for decades now, and I've always

794
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 3: enjoyed talking with guests and creating a warm and welcoming

795
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 3: environment for people to have a good time, a place

796
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 3: to leave their worries behind and fill up on all

797
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 3: of the good vibes I've worked so hard to curate,

798
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 3: but when attention is given directly to me, I'm filled

799
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 3: with anxiety. I'm terrified of going up on stage, taking

800
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:25,800
Speaker 3: a mic, or being on camera. My husband, who's a musician,

801
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 3: is very entertaining on the mic and has been the

802
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 3: one to MC most nights to introduce players and groups.

803
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 3: He's going to be on tour over the summer, and

804
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,480
Speaker 3: since I'm the other face of the joint, I should

805
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 3: be the one getting up to MC. How can I

806
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,160
Speaker 3: overcome this fear? I want to talk to the crowd

807
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 3: of people as if I were talking to them one

808
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:44,920
Speaker 3: on one, and make the room ready for a night

809
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 3: of music and fun. It's a beautiful club that I'm

810
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 3: so proud of. It's more fulfilling than I could have imagined,

811
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,280
Speaker 3: and I'd love to have confidence everywhere in the club,

812
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 3: especially on the stage that I built.

813
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 4: Jenny Jones, Oh, Jenny, that is so wholesome and sweet.

814
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:00,960
Speaker 2: You're so wholesome.

815
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:05,759
Speaker 5: I am no oh yo yo yo.

816
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 2: What's up?

817
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 7: Hi?

818
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 2: HIHI king our special guest today. Hi hi hi Hi.

819
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:14,280
Speaker 2: Nice to see you guys.

820
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: Nice to see you too, Okay, Building confidence well, first

821
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: of all, what I would say is take a beta blocker.

822
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 4: Because that's what I was gonna say too.

823
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's gonna help your nerves.

824
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,359
Speaker 1: As far as like how you're gonna be in terms

825
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 1: of speaking publicly, I mean, you just.

826
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 4: Gotta go through it. You gotta do it.

827
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 5: And you know what, I have bad shows and they

828
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 5: make the great shows fucking great.

829
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 1: It's kind of a learning curve, like in order to

830
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,719
Speaker 1: get good at you, you have to start doing it.

831
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: So you can't just like become a great public orator

832
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: or speaker out of nowhere. You're just gonna have to

833
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 1: go up and just I would say, like when you're

834
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,880
Speaker 1: going up there, I would definitely get a prescription for proparamolol.

835
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,560
Speaker 2: That's what it's called from your doctor. That's one of them.

836
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 4: I don't know if you knowed it. For one.

837
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,959
Speaker 1: And when you're going out on stage and you're going

838
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: ready to getting ready to do it, I would just

839
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 1: really try to really lead with the right high vibes,

840
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 1: you know, like fun, Like I want to have fun.

841
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: And if you're having fun, other people are gonna have fun.

842
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 1: It's contagious.

843
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,719
Speaker 5: And and don't try to be anyone that you're not

844
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 5: just it's it feels weird to say sometimes, but like actually,

845
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:21,080
Speaker 5: just be yourself and you'll be surprised by how accepting

846
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:25,120
Speaker 5: an audience is if you are your true, authentic, yes

847
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 5: person self.

848
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, I just get I get nervous and I

849
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 7: get stuttery, and.

850
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 2: Well the proprietla will help that.

851
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 3: You'll get that and it won't make you feel loopy either.

852
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,959
Speaker 4: No, no, no, that's a faster you get off stage. Yeah.

853
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: And also, you know, you can have a drink if

854
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 1: that's gonna calm you down. Not five probably, but like one,

855
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: you know, just to like calm your nerves. And just

856
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: if you're feeling nervous and you're feeling jittery, it's okay

857
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: to like lean into it and be like, oh, guys,

858
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 1: this is my first time on stage. Like hopefully I

859
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 1: don't screw this up, you know, like be yourself. You

860
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: don't have to like be.

861
00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 2: The best at it all of a sudden out of

862
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 2: the gate. Yeah yeah, I mean I did try doing

863
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 2: a shot one night.

864
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 7: I got up and I think it made me more nervous.

865
00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:08,919
Speaker 2: Okay, so don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.

866
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,840
Speaker 5: I recently started going on stage stone cold sober, and

867
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 5: I always felt like I messed up more when I'm sober,

868
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:21,000
Speaker 5: because I'm like a like a severely anxious person myself.

869
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,399
Speaker 4: But like I trip and I fumble and I say

870
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 4: stupid shit.

871
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,160
Speaker 5: But at the end of the day, like I still

872
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 5: would rather be me and be experiencing it at the moment,

873
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 5: and you'll.

874
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 4: You'll find your flow.

875
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 5: And I feel like I just have a feeling you're

876
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,280
Speaker 5: gonna end up loving being up there and you're gonna

877
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 5: tell your husband like, no, I'm fucking handling it tonight.

878
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 4: I want to be up there on stage.

879
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 7: I like that.

880
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 3: I'm also gonna just put this out there too. If

881
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 3: you really hate it, even though you're the face of

882
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:55,360
Speaker 3: the place, maybe get your most like Hammy bartender to

883
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 3: do it, you know what I mean, Like you can

884
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 3: be the gal who's like mingling in the crowds, because

885
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 3: I know you said it's sort of like a safe space,

886
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 3: you know everybody there sort of thing.

887
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm comfortable on that.

888
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 3: Right, Like when you're on the floor, you're comfortable, right, yes, yeah. Yeah.

889
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 3: So like if you really hate it, after trying it

890
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 3: out a few times, get your most like whoever's the

891
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 3: biggest ham who works for you.

892
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 2: Have them do it.

893
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, thank you.

894
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, any other confidence advice scals.

895
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: I think confidence is just you really have to lean

896
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 1: into it and act like it's.

897
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 2: Like faking it until you make it. It's true. It is.

898
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I was so full of shit for so

899
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 1: many years, and guess I'm still all my bullshit. Me too,

900
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,280
Speaker 1: I'm still full of shit too, but it all came true.

901
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 2: So just act like you know.

902
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 1: It's the opposite of what I said ten minutes ago,

903
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 1: which was lean into your short leading into your nervousness. Yeah,

904
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 1: this isn't making sense anymore, this podcast where it's time

905
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:46,200
Speaker 1: for it.

906
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:47,879
Speaker 2: Okay, it's time where we have to go now.

907
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 5: I like that. I like this.

908
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 7: Thank you.

909
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give it a shot.

910
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 4: You're gonna do great.

911
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: If one of the pieces of advice don't work, try

912
00:40:55,160 --> 00:41:02,839
Speaker 1: another piece of Yeah.

913
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 2: Take care.

914
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: Jenny feels to me like she really wants to get

915
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:04,320
Speaker 1: up on that stage.

916
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 4: Yeah right, I mean.

917
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 2: Even though she's nervous. No, I think she wants to

918
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 2: be good at it.

919
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 4: Like yea, she does.

920
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,640
Speaker 2: I think she's got to love it, but she's gonna Yeah.

921
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 5: But anxiety is weird. It can just totally take over

922
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 5: all of you.

923
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I realized.

924
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,279
Speaker 1: I mean, my friend was talking about anxiety the other

925
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 1: day and I was like, oh, I go, yeah, I

926
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: guess I do have anxiety. I always like to go

927
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 1: around saying I don't have anxiety, but like being anxious

928
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 1: to go to an event, or knowing you have to

929
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: do something and it weighing on you all week or

930
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:31,879
Speaker 1: like for a couple of days.

931
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 2: I hate, that's anxiety. That's anxiety.

932
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:36,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I don't go out, you know, I'm like,

933
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,919
Speaker 5: even though I'm like, but I've been a party girl

934
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 5: my whole life, Like, I actually am a very socially

935
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 5: I'm an awkward human being and I'm socially.

936
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,240
Speaker 4: Awkward and weird and have social anxiety.

937
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:49,960
Speaker 2: Yeah.

938
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: Well I would never be able to tell that just

939
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,799
Speaker 1: sitting next to you, because I'm faking it, I know.

940
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 2: And you're doing a great job.

941
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:55,480
Speaker 4: Thank you.

942
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,319
Speaker 2: Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going

943
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 2: to be right back, and we're back.

944
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 1: We're wrapping up with el King, who, By the way,

945
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 1: I want to thank you for sharing your story earlier.

946
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing that. I think that's going to

947
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:11,760
Speaker 2: be really helpful to a lot of our listeners because

948
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 2: I've been there. It's in my new book.

949
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 1: I have a chapter about some older celebrity calling me

950
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: out on my bad behavior at a party where I

951
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 1: did what you're talking about, you know, something similar when

952
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,319
Speaker 1: I was in my twenties, and I was like, I

953
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 1: will never ever have that woman speak to me again,

954
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 1: Like she's never gonna have to talk to me again,

955
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 1: because I will fix the problem. Yeah, And so I

956
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:36,800
Speaker 1: think it's so it's another example of sisterhood of women,

957
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: showing up for women and being graceful when somebody fucks up,

958
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 1: like that is a great quality to be able to

959
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,400
Speaker 1: give to someone else, or it's not a quality, but

960
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 1: it's a great gift you can give someone else when

961
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,880
Speaker 1: someone in your life does fuck up, like to be

962
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: graceful to them about it, you know, like, Okay, I understand,

963
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:53,240
Speaker 1: you know you made a mistake.

964
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 2: I'm not going to crucify you for this.

965
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 1: And when they fuck up fifteen more times, no, yeah,

966
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 1: and you say fuck off.

967
00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:03,360
Speaker 5: I think my biggest take from everything that happened is, Okay,

968
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 5: next time I see somebody going off the rails or

969
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 5: doing something crazy or like, you know, maybe acting poorly.

970
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 5: I now understand first and foremost as a mother, but

971
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 5: also having gone through that, Okay, I have no idea

972
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:21,240
Speaker 5: what's going on behind the scenes. Obviously this is stemming

973
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 5: from a place of hurt, fear, something that's going on

974
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:24,959
Speaker 5: that's really big.

975
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 4: Maybe.

976
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:28,800
Speaker 5: So it's taught me a lot of empathy and grace

977
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:33,280
Speaker 5: and like humility, and I don't know, I'm not happy

978
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 5: for it, but what I've learned from it is like

979
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 5: just I mean, I'm still every day learning yet have

980
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 5: a panic attack in the car though.

981
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,000
Speaker 2: I love your hands. They're so cute. Oh, thank you nice.

982
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: And I like your nails that they're short, and your

983
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:48,360
Speaker 1: jewelry and your tattoos.

984
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:49,200
Speaker 2: Very cute hands.

985
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,520
Speaker 1: We'll have to showcase those on my Instagram feed when

986
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 1: the episode comes out.

987
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,400
Speaker 2: We'll just show her hands. Thank cute hands. Thank you

988
00:43:55,520 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 2: alk for being here. Thank you, hey, guys, so for

989
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 2: stand up.

990
00:44:02,719 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 1: We added a second show in Sydney, and we added

991
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,879
Speaker 1: a second show in Prior Lake, Minnesota, which is now

992
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 1: going to be May twenty fourth. We added the Santa

993
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 1: Barbara Bowl, which is so fun. I performed there last year.

994
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:19,440
Speaker 1: That's August seventeenth. The Santa Barbara Bowl. We added a

995
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: second show at Santa Rosa on August second, and we

996
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: added two dates at Hawaii. Guys, I'm coming to Hawaii

997
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 1: on July nineteenth to CA Who Louis. I'm gonna be

998
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:36,800
Speaker 1: at CA Who Louis, and then I'm coming on July

999
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 1: twenty at to Honolulu. And I just added another date

1000
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: on August first, Auburn, Washington. So and all my Australia

1001
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 1: and New Zealand dates are up, and I will be

1002
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: announcing a European tour shortly and May third, which is

1003
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:56,919
Speaker 1: my mother's birthday, Norman, Oklahoma, so come.

1004
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,800
Speaker 3: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1005
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,719
Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1006
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,800
Speaker 3: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1007
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 3: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine Law and

1008
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:11,960
Speaker 3: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1009
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 3: com