1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If you 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:12,639 Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read 6 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. That's for you, Jay, 7 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 1: Thanks so much. Bugle hold on tight, We got it 8 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: for you here. It is a Strawberry Letter. Subjects I'm 9 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: too old for these games. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a 10 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: fifty seven year old, very attractive widow. I started back 11 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: dating four years ago after giving myself time to deal 12 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,240 Speaker 1: with the loss of my husband. Over a year ago. 13 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,239 Speaker 1: I met a really nice man at a bar and 14 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: he told me I was gorgeous and he'd love to 15 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:51,240 Speaker 1: take me to dinner. We went on our first date 16 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: and I was hooked. He told me he was looking 17 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: for a deep sexual connection and whoever he was with 18 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: he would treat her like a quick For our second date, 19 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 1: I met him at his home or should I say 20 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: a state. He had a He has a very plush 21 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 1: lifestyle and three luxury cars. He surprised me with dinner 22 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: at his house with a private chef, and after that 23 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: we made love. He let me know that he would 24 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 1: cater to all of my wants and needs and take 25 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:24,480 Speaker 1: me on many adventures. The next week, he invited me 26 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 1: to travel overseas with him on a business trip. Since 27 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 1: we met, he has taken me on several deluxe trips 28 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 1: and I am treated like a princess when we're together. 29 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: He is sixty three years old and divorced, so I 30 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: thought he was interested in building a great relationship with 31 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: He must have felt huh, I had flashed back, Oh, 32 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: you're sixty three. He's sixty three years old, and nobody 33 00:01:52,960 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: like the go ahead, don't you. I'm just try and 34 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: deal with it, just you know, you know, please don't 35 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: listen to Jay. He's sixty three years old and divorced, 36 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: so I thought he was interested in building a great 37 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: relationship with me. He must have felt that I was 38 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 1: getting too caught up, so he sat me down one 39 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: day and let me know that our quote unquote arrangement 40 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: only works if I know my place. He said, I 41 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: should stay beautiful, be ready to travel, and always ready 42 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: to satisfy him sexually. I was so hurt and upset. 43 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 1: He gave me no signs that he was an old player. 44 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: Now I've fallen for him and I don't want to 45 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: stop seeing him. Should I take what I can get 46 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: at my age or should I end this and forget 47 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 1: these those great trips? Well, um, I gotta disagree with 48 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: you because he set it up front. He set it 49 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: up front. He was looking for a deep sexual connection. 50 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: He said that. He said that plane is day to you. Yeah, 51 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: you got caught up. But to answer your question, I 52 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,280 Speaker 1: just think that you know you should get what you want. 53 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 1: If this is not what you want, don't settle. It 54 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: doesn't have anything to do with how old you are 55 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: anything like that. I mean, just because he's rich and 56 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: he can afford to take you on these exotic trips 57 00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: and all of this and do whatever. It doesn't mean 58 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: that he owns you. It doesn't mean that he can 59 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: run you, doesn't mean any of that. You're a grown woman, 60 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 1: and if it's a relationship you want and need, then 61 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,680 Speaker 1: that's what you should have. It just won't be with him. 62 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: It just will not be with mister sixty three years 63 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: old and divorced taking you everywhere. It's not going to 64 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 1: be with him because He told you he wanted a 65 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 1: sexual connection, a deep sexual connection. You know, you cannot 66 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: have it both ways with this man. It's either his 67 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 1: way or no way. He's already told you to know 68 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: your place in this arrangement. He's called it an arrangement. 69 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: He's giving you all these words. The signs are there, 70 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: all of them are there. Some women would happily and gladly, 71 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: you know, deal with this so called arrangement. They would 72 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: be happy to go on all these exotic trips and 73 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: have to do nothing but look beautiful. But this situation 74 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,679 Speaker 1: is not for you. You're in love and you want 75 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:21,159 Speaker 1: instead of a deep sexual connection with him, you want 76 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 1: a relationship, possibly to lead to a marriage and all that. 77 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: So this is not for you. So yes, I say 78 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:29,719 Speaker 1: to you, and this, forget all those great trips and 79 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,039 Speaker 1: all of that, because you're not going to be able 80 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,040 Speaker 1: to do this with him, because he's not looking for 81 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,359 Speaker 1: what you're looking for. Right now. You want more and 82 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: you probably deserve it, So do what you gotta do. 83 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 1: Let this one go, Steve, I don't I don't understand 84 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: the confusion. Shirley said it. He told you at the beginning. 85 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: See here, let me, let me let me help you 86 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 1: understand something. You're fifty seven, very attractive. Wittall started back 87 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 1: to Dayton f years ago, four years ago, after you 88 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,600 Speaker 1: gave yourself time to deal with the loss of your husband, 89 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 1: meaning your husband passed. Then about a year ago, you 90 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,679 Speaker 1: met this man at a bar right there. Most fifty 91 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: year old people don't really meet nice people at bars, 92 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: no more. At just ain't the stomping ground normally, unless 93 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: you run up into an old businessman that's on an 94 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: old business trip. And there's other people at the balls 95 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:31,960 Speaker 1: who know to go to the balls for such a 96 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: evening and the day of those are called girls. Anyway, 97 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: he told me that you was gorgeous and he'd loved 98 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:47,360 Speaker 1: take you to dinner. So on the first date, you 99 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,919 Speaker 1: were hooked seating Now right there, you said, on the 100 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: first date, I was hooked on what y'all just eight? 101 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: But let me tell you what he told me. He 102 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: was looking for a d sexual connection, and whoever he 103 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 1: was with he would treat like a queen. Here's what 104 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: you heard. Treat like a queen. He did that. But 105 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: let me help you understand something. For we go to 106 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:18,720 Speaker 1: break when a man tells you that he wants a 107 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: deep sexual connection. What deep sexual connection actually means is 108 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 1: no other connection. When a man says I want a 109 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 1: deep sexual connection, parentheses, no other connection is what that means. 110 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: That's it. Okay, we'll have part two of your response 111 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour, subject 112 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: I'm too old for these games. We'll get back into 113 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening, Hey, everybody's very break 114 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: couthering Jin you listen. 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All right, Steve, 124 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: come on, let's recap today's strawberry letters. Subject I'm too 125 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: old for these games. It's not a game. Ma'am, you didn't. 126 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 1: You didn't. You didn't. You weren't listening. It's sad to say, 127 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: but a lot of people don't listen. You're fifty seven, 128 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: very attractive, with old started dating again. You met this 129 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: man at a bar. He was really nice. He told 130 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 1: you you were gorgeous. He'd loved to take me to dinner. 131 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: You went on your first date. I was hooked. One date, Bam, 132 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: you gone. You was gone. On the first day. He 133 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 1: told me he was looking for a deep sexual connection 134 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 1: and whoever he was with, he would treat like a queen. 135 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: You heard, whoever he was with, he would treat like 136 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: a queen. You ignored the deep sexual connection and what 137 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: he wanted. He was clear that whoever he got up 138 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,840 Speaker 1: with to have this deep sexual connection, that he would 139 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:40,079 Speaker 1: treat you like a queen. So on your second date, 140 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: I went to his home or should I say a state. 141 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: I'm a I'm know what that means with okay, lady. 142 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:54,680 Speaker 1: He has a very plush lifestyle and three luxury cause. 143 00:08:55,520 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 1: So you in the garage, you looking at them setting sheets. 144 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 1: You're sitting on a velvet couch, and you looking at 145 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: gold trim on the woodwork. So after that, he had dinner, 146 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:19,920 Speaker 1: He had a private chef, and we made love just 147 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:25,560 Speaker 1: like that one two damn plates of food, took you 148 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: to dinner, brought you to his house. Your ass was nicky. 149 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,600 Speaker 1: He could have you would have slept with him the 150 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: first night because you was hooked then, but you waited 151 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: two nights. Whoa, oh girl, you you You made him 152 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,080 Speaker 1: earn it. He let me know that he would cater 153 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: to all your wants and needs and take me on 154 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: many adventures. The man so far has not lied. Next 155 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:53,319 Speaker 1: week he invited me to travel overseas better quick going 156 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: with them trips? Yes, Corona. Next week he invited me 157 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: to travel overseas with him on a business trip. Since 158 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: we met, you've been on several deluxe trips. What is 159 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 1: a deluxe trip? What is that? We've been on several 160 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 1: deluxe trips? No, no, no, no no, what is it? Ja? 161 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 1: What is a deluxe trip? It's a it's a big, 162 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 1: big trip. It's a huge like it's like you see 163 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: you gonna take a trip, but it's bigger than that, Okay, bigger. 164 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,439 Speaker 1: So they was on a big plane and they was 165 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: up front in first class into big chairs. All right, 166 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 1: And I'm treated like a princess when we together. He's 167 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: sixty three years old and divorced, so I thought he 168 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 1: was interested in building a great relationship with me. Where 169 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: did that thought come from, ma'am? Because he said he 170 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: was looking for a deep sexual connection parentheses, which means 171 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:55,679 Speaker 1: no other connections. And he told you he treats you 172 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,559 Speaker 1: like a queen. You thought being treated like a queen 173 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 1: was a relationship. Now he was just gonna give you 174 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: some things, take you on some deluxe trips and stuff 175 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 1: like that. That's all it was. He must have felt 176 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: that I was getting too caught up, so he set 177 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,959 Speaker 1: me down one day. Then let me know that our 178 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 1: arrangement only works if I know my place. He said, 179 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:24,080 Speaker 1: I should stay beautiful, be ready to travel, and always 180 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:27,959 Speaker 1: ready to satisfy him sexually, because he walks a deep 181 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 1: sexual connection and he likes it from you because you're 182 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: an attractive woman and he treats you like a queen. 183 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 1: I was so hurting upset. He gave me no signs 184 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: that he was an old player. Listen to me, He's 185 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 1: not an old player. He told you exactly what was upfront. 186 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: Here's the news that you don't know. You are one 187 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: of several, you're not the one. You're one of several. 188 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:57,680 Speaker 1: The reason he's so smiled with the presentation is because 189 00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: he's made this presentation several times and it has worked. 190 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 1: He finds attractive women who are lonely like you, and 191 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:14,439 Speaker 1: he subdues them for sex, for deep sexual connections. That's 192 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 1: all he wanted from you. In return, he treats you 193 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 1: very well. So he thought he puts you in the pocket. 194 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:27,200 Speaker 1: That's all you just got put in the pocket. It's 195 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 1: a lot of y'all out there. You ain't the only one, 196 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,679 Speaker 1: but you thought that he wanted to be building a 197 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: great relationship with you. That's what he tells you. Now. 198 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,959 Speaker 1: Now I fall in for him and I don't want 199 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,199 Speaker 1: to stop seeing him. Should I take what I can 200 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 1: get at my age? Or should I end this and 201 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: forget those great trips? Hold up? Are you talking in circles? 202 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: Because everything you're saying just gets back to still seeing him. 203 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 1: First of all, lady, let's just be d you're not 204 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:58,040 Speaker 1: gonna stop seeing him because you just said I don't 205 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: want to stop seeing him trips? Should I take what 206 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 1: I can get at my age? Don't put this on 207 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,360 Speaker 1: your age. It's just what you want to take because 208 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: you like it, or should I end this and forget 209 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: those great trips? Lady. I can't tell you what to do, 210 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:17,439 Speaker 1: but he's not building or any further relationship with you. 211 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,959 Speaker 1: And I want to remind you that men don't give promotions. 212 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: When we want you as the one you start at 213 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: number one, we don't do promotions. I'm sorry, man, don't 214 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 1: forget a man, don't forget. Don't forget to check out 215 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,560 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up at 216 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: forty six minutes after the hour of the Democratic Debate 217 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: will happen this Sunday, but there will be a few changes. 218 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:51,200 Speaker 1: We'll tell you about those right after this. You're listening 219 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: to