Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanta way back home? Either
Speaker 1: way we want to be there. Doesn't matter how much
Speaker 1: baggage you claim and give us time and a termino
Speaker 1: and gay. We want to send you off instat. We
Speaker 1: wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 2: Melbourne?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do your need ride?
Speaker 2: Ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need with?
Speaker 3: Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karen Kilgarow. Hello, my friend Chris. Today
Speaker 1: I had a beehive removed from my backyard.
Speaker 3: You had I usually I had something ready, You had
Speaker 3: a beehive removed.
Speaker 1: The reason I busted into mine is because you always
Speaker 1: do yours. I think the B news is breaking I
Speaker 1: feel like a bee hive removal is breaking news. So
Speaker 1: I just ran out first with it.
Speaker 3: Did you up to this point have some sort of
Speaker 3: a B problem because of the hive? I imagine you did.
Speaker 1: WHOA. It's just that I had to get my trees trimmed,
Speaker 1: and the tree trimmer said, I'm not doing it if
Speaker 1: that beehive is there, And I said, I get you.
Speaker 1: I'm on your side, sir, So I had to have
Speaker 1: it removed before they would go and trim trees.
Speaker 3: It's pretty presumptuous of him, though, because what if you
Speaker 3: were a bee keeper and you were trying to make
Speaker 3: your own at home.
Speaker 1: Honey I was wearing the whole netted hat.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1: I don't know why he thought he could impinge on
Speaker 1: my life that way, but I started to think because
Speaker 1: he the man came to my door and said, I
Speaker 1: got the queen, I got the honeycomb. Everything's out. It's
Speaker 1: going to take a couple of days and then the
Speaker 1: bees will be gone. And then I was like, what
Speaker 1: if that's bad?
Speaker 3: Right? Yeah, you don't know about bee hierarchy. You take
Speaker 3: the queen away?
Speaker 1: Well still, so they don't they're not going to stick around,
Speaker 1: But like, what if bees? I don't know. It feels
Speaker 1: like it might be bad luck to lose bees. Oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what do you think.
Speaker 3: I think it's the very end of the world thing.
Speaker 3: We need to appreciate all the bees that we find,
Speaker 3: because it's been years now that we've just seen them
Speaker 3: limping on sidewhile and you should have embraced them and
Speaker 3: taken them into your home. He wanted my opinion, You
Speaker 3: got it.
Speaker 1: Fuck, here's the thing I can rely on you to
Speaker 1: tell me the truth about basically, if I thought things
Speaker 1: were bad, now just wait to see.
Speaker 3: Now that the b is yay, I have to bring
Speaker 3: in an environmental twist. Well before we bring in our guests,
Speaker 3: I want to talk about the person that visited my
Speaker 3: house right before this. A man peeked in my window. Oh,
Speaker 3: and I guess he couldn't see me, but I was
Speaker 3: looking right at him. And then he hung a flyer
Speaker 3: and I realized he was the guy on the flyer.
Speaker 3: Why it was Kenneth Meggia. He's running for La City Controller,
Speaker 3: not comptroller controller, and he himself did his own flying.
Speaker 1: Okay, he gets my vote simply by the fact that
Speaker 1: he showed up.
Speaker 3: I do like that. I do like that he hit
Speaker 3: the streets and did it old school, like a cutco
Speaker 3: knife salesman. However, it says his credentials are eleven years
Speaker 3: of auditing experience. Now that's not someone I want peaking
Speaker 3: in my windows. I'm a little nervous, but.
Speaker 1: He's the if he's going to be the controller. Isn't
Speaker 1: that the perfect experience?
Speaker 3: Well, it's I think I'm going to get audited. Now,
Speaker 3: Why else would he be peaking in my window?
Speaker 1: You saw your unfaid taxes laying on your on your desk.
Speaker 3: I just yeah, I just have a giant stack of
Speaker 3: papers with an I RS please ignore sign on top.
Speaker 1: I'm screwed in the in the ignore pile.
Speaker 3: Well, you know what I didn't ignore is my links
Speaker 3: to screen our guests HBO Max Comedy Special. They call
Speaker 3: me the best segue or in the business. Not even
Speaker 3: know if segs a world where it's it's a whole.
Speaker 1: World, it's a world that you live in.
Speaker 3: It's out now, and after you hear him on our podcast,
Speaker 3: you're going to want to watch it because I find
Speaker 3: him to be one of the most talented comedian minds
Speaker 3: working today. You've seen it at clubs and college in
Speaker 3: college so many colleges, Yeah, a.
Speaker 2: Trumbling amount of colleges. It was a really bad college
Speaker 2: I did where.
Speaker 1: No one said your name.
Speaker 4: It's fine Storm.
Speaker 3: Talking everyone Moses Storm.
Speaker 2: Every time I started sign to Moses Storm here, but
Speaker 2: they for promotion. I think it's like right after the
Speaker 2: last comic standing, which I was like, let's try to
Speaker 2: hide that credit. But the college to promote the show
Speaker 2: that was happening, because it's just like students, you know,
Speaker 2: they don't really do things. They spray painted my name
Speaker 2: on a mattress over it. I was like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is like a fun billboard, but on college campuses, if
Speaker 2: you spray paint a mattresses to sign a protest the
Speaker 2: people that are victims of sexual assault, it's like their protests.
Speaker 4: So it was the hands down worst promotion. Is my
Speaker 4: name on a on.
Speaker 1: A mattress borderline accusatory. Yeah, there's an element. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: don't want to be involved.
Speaker 3: The bad guy's name is actually on the mattress. This
Speaker 3: is gonna be easy. I know where he lived.
Speaker 1: I know I did a college once in a I
Speaker 1: believe Arkansas. It was I was incredibly terrible. It was
Speaker 1: outside in like at night outside. I was standing in
Speaker 1: a gazebo. The children were over on a hill. There
Speaker 1: was a sign that had my name on it, and
Speaker 1: about twenty minutes into my absolutely silent set, one side
Speaker 1: of the sign with my name on it just kind
Speaker 1: of fell down and then I went, you know what, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm going to take that as a sign good night.
Speaker 4: Everybody was killed part of your name. Oh, that's so sad.
Speaker 4: It just went outside.
Speaker 2: Is insane that anyone would think that would work. But
Speaker 2: that's all we did for the past two years.
Speaker 3: Well you paid for that gazebo. Yeah, you got to
Speaker 3: get for something. Jazz bands, did.
Speaker 4: You know going in?
Speaker 2: Because sometimes I'll go to a college and they're like,
Speaker 2: we have you in the corner of the cafeteria where
Speaker 2: we make echoes.
Speaker 4: Sometimes you kind of know.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I'll show you a photo now and you're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: this is a paycheck, So I'm going to stand on
Speaker 2: the top behind the civic and yellow.
Speaker 1: I had no warning, and it's they're not actually allowed
Speaker 1: to do that because it's so bad for comedy, as
Speaker 1: we all know that you it has to be indoors.
Speaker 1: It's like contractually whatever. And I remember standing in a
Speaker 1: very florally wallpapered tiny bathroom before I went on, almost
Speaker 1: having a panic attack because I was like, there's no
Speaker 1: way this can be good. There's I'm walking into what
Speaker 1: absolutely will be and was a terrible attempt at personality
Speaker 1: comedy with not enough hard jokes to please the children
Speaker 1: of arkansass right?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: How long did it take to figure out you weren't
Speaker 2: doing announcements?
Speaker 4: It wasn't like.
Speaker 2: Coming up in the spring because it's all freshmen, because
Speaker 2: if you're you know, crushing in college, you don't have
Speaker 2: time to go to some comedy shows. It's all freshmen
Speaker 2: who are people are like you a hook up with
Speaker 2: college girls know their children. The eighteen year olds are twelve.
Speaker 2: They're in my mind, embraces this is a child, and
Speaker 2: they are anxious.
Speaker 4: If you're out, you.
Speaker 2: Don't want to be alive, and you're nervous because you're
Speaker 2: not with anyone that you know. It's the worst environment
Speaker 2: for a community to thrive in. And then this they
Speaker 2: usually have students bring you up, so they haven't built
Speaker 2: the show yet. It's just someone coming up who doesn't
Speaker 2: want to be on stage but does all the announcements.
Speaker 2: They'll say usually your full buyout. They'll say your name first.
Speaker 2: It'll be like Chris Fairbanks, you know from Fuel TV
Speaker 2: using a controversial campaign commercially, and then you'll kind of
Speaker 2: come up when they have finished the paragraph that's on
Speaker 2: your website.
Speaker 3: It's my favorite when they when you they they just
Speaker 3: google your name and find a bio. From the very
Speaker 3: beginning of your career.
Speaker 2: He got anything, anything, flew as a credit anything. It
Speaker 2: was like he was he was he tested for a pilot.
Speaker 2: So you didn't get a job. Karen, you are lucky
Speaker 2: enough to be a successful podcaster. Did you have to
Speaker 2: do any of the outdoor or zoom shows that we
Speaker 2: all did in the Lockdown?
Speaker 4: I did a.
Speaker 1: Couple of the Chris and I have talked about it
Speaker 1: because I did. I agreed to do one because Chris
Speaker 1: was doing it. It was like Quiplash. It was you know,
Speaker 1: so it wasn't out it was not outdoor, it was zoom.
Speaker 1: I did a couple of those, so there was it
Speaker 1: was game base. It wasn't like doing a session.
Speaker 4: Sean O'Connors was right.
Speaker 1: There was one by one of those guys, and then
Speaker 1: there was another one that Louis Katz did.
Speaker 3: Maybe yeah, yeah, it was. It was a lot. There's
Speaker 3: a lot of duel whiplash shows.
Speaker 1: There's some quip slashes, which I thought, it's a game,
Speaker 1: so that's fine, But that then I just went, I
Speaker 1: don't what am I doing. I'm let somebody else have that.
Speaker 3: In the middle of doing all these zoom shows. I
Speaker 3: go on Instagram and I see Moses performing in the
Speaker 3: middle of the beat in the water, in the ocean,
Speaker 3: diving in the waves in a wet suit, people with
Speaker 3: tiki torches laughing. Yea, the breeze, the life giving breeze
Speaker 3: of the ocean.
Speaker 4: You can't say tiki torches with my face. You need
Speaker 4: to verify. That needs to be qualified. Show.
Speaker 2: I saw the ocean. I did a show at the ocean,
Speaker 2: and it went exactly as well as you thought. And
Speaker 2: I thought it was funny to wear a suit the
Speaker 2: whole time.
Speaker 4: Uh. And then I I was like, I just need
Speaker 4: to fit in.
Speaker 2: I need to get so I jumped in the water
Speaker 2: right before this, Like I was like, said hello and
Speaker 2: jumped in the water, came back and then you know
Speaker 2: how like sometimes adrenaline will take over. Even you have
Speaker 2: the flu, you could perform. You could catch your breath.
Speaker 2: You're not tired anymore once you're on sta age. Not
Speaker 2: the case. The entire set, I was so so cold
Speaker 2: is the middle of winter, and I couldn't catch my breath.
Speaker 2: The entire set in a suit in an h and
Speaker 2: with the fabric is just made of different rashes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've done some impressive physical The last time I did,
Speaker 3: I had the pleasure of trying to follow you at
Speaker 3: the improv, but you would just you would were you
Speaker 3: up in the rafters. It was like, oh, I fell
Speaker 3: more performance on Saturday Night Live where he's up in
Speaker 3: the You were up in the rafters and then slid
Speaker 3: down the handrail perfectly like mid joke and landed and
Speaker 3: did the punchline right. It was really impressive physically.
Speaker 4: I'm a jazz boy.
Speaker 3: You were a jazz boy.
Speaker 2: You always work out, though I did follow one story
Speaker 2: off of the new improv, like their upper level.
Speaker 4: I fell one story right on my hip.
Speaker 3: You're kidding. When was this?
Speaker 4: It was pretty early. I was very excited to be
Speaker 4: back indoors again.
Speaker 2: It's pretty early on and I was trying to get
Speaker 2: back down and they're they're new. They're the staircase that's
Speaker 2: at least the second worce relatively new, so the booths
Speaker 2: that are behind it are.
Speaker 4: Not bolted down.
Speaker 2: And I was trying to get one foot on the
Speaker 2: back of the booth so I could eventually climb that
Speaker 2: very loose and then just fell one story and then
Speaker 2: I had about six more minutes.
Speaker 4: Leapt, so I wasn't going to bail. So I did
Speaker 4: the rest of the set.
Speaker 1: Did you like, it's fine? I'm fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have like maybe three more years before everything
Speaker 2: is going to be unhealable. It's just going to be like,
Speaker 2: oh that, Yeah, I don't have a left tip anymore.
Speaker 1: One time at the old Luna Park, which no one
Speaker 1: knows it anymore, but they had this kind of old
Speaker 1: fashioned stage where if you walked up to it and
Speaker 1: stood there, it was probably like mid chest on the
Speaker 1: average person, pretty high up. And I was doing this
Speaker 1: show and I was the host, so I ran out.
Speaker 1: No one introduced me, They just go go out there.
Speaker 1: So I saw there was a doorway with like long
Speaker 1: tinsely stuff in the doorway, So I go, oh, I
Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna run up to
Speaker 1: the stage and introduce myself, run out into that waiting area,
Speaker 1: and then walk on and take the stage. So I
Speaker 1: did that. Ladies and gentlemen, here she has carcal Gareff
Speaker 1: ran over. There was no floor, It was an empty room.
Speaker 1: It was like a four foot drop into a room
Speaker 1: with no lights on, filled with folding chairs, and I
Speaker 1: as I was falling. I went, you have to get
Speaker 1: back up and go back out there immediately. You can't
Speaker 1: just have fallen. So I fell and then just turned
Speaker 1: and like somehow propelled myself back up on stage. And
Speaker 1: I had sprained my ankle, but I just was like whatever.
Speaker 1: And then there's a guy in the front row and
Speaker 1: I'm like thanks everybody, And there's a guy in the
Speaker 1: front row who was crying laughing, and I looked at
Speaker 1: him and I go, you saw what just happened? Odd
Speaker 1: like he was dying, and no one else snow like
Speaker 1: like they just thought. There was like a slight pause
Speaker 1: and a chair sound.
Speaker 2: Were you in Did you feel the full impact of
Speaker 2: the pain while you're performing or was you got off?
Speaker 4: You're like, it's it's it was.
Speaker 1: I mean I only did. I would say I just
Speaker 1: did like five minutes and then introduced the first person
Speaker 1: and got backstage and was like, I have fully sprained
Speaker 1: my ankle, but in the moment, I didn't feel anything,
Speaker 1: because I was like, you have to you have to
Speaker 1: go back out there. And I somehow turned and like
Speaker 1: it was really high. I just like propelled myself back up.
Speaker 2: Right because we're so desperate to get that attention. That
Speaker 2: was like a mom lifting a car off her child,
Speaker 2: or like my three minute set. I mustn't laugh.
Speaker 4: I could jump.
Speaker 3: I can't lose before me.
Speaker 2: I could jump twice my body height. I broke in
Speaker 2: a foot jumping off the stage at It's the it's
Speaker 2: the hot tub.
Speaker 4: Stage really yeah, the Virgil.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you jumping off that one. So after I didn't
Speaker 2: feel so after and I had worked the next day,
Speaker 2: so I was limping in every scene. Uh yeah, that
Speaker 2: was That was a bad one because it's the foot,
Speaker 2: so it doesn't really healed if you keep walking on it.
Speaker 4: And you're like, you need this job. Yeah, did you work?
Speaker 4: But I had a lot of people at the show too.
Speaker 4: That's a hurt. Yeah for twelve see you tomorrow. Yeah
Speaker 4: as much a work, No, I was like twelve people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh that always makes when you're injured. It's so
Speaker 3: fun when there's a dozen people there to just add
Speaker 3: that extra kiss of evaluate your life in this moment.
Speaker 3: One time, opening for Daniel Tosh, I was drunk on stage.
Speaker 3: It was fifteen years ago and it was at the
Speaker 3: Punchline in Sacramento. They just had one step up to
Speaker 3: the stage. There was just a box that someone had
Speaker 3: made it was not adhered to the floor. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: I was having a terrible set. I recognized someone from
Speaker 3: my childhood in the audience and he said, are you
Speaker 3: from Montana? And he shook his head now and I'm like,
Speaker 3: didn't have anywhere to go with it, so I'm like, good,
Speaker 3: I thought you were this guy I went to high
Speaker 3: school with it I didn't like and in that moment
Speaker 3: I realized it was him. He just lied and pretended.
Speaker 4: It was to be at the show. Broke me to
Speaker 4: this and I just got.
Speaker 3: Off stage out of embarrassment, and my heel stepped on
Speaker 3: this box and it barrel rolled under me like a
Speaker 3: log and one of those challenges you see on ESPN.
Speaker 3: I just landed on this box and it broke under
Speaker 3: my ass, just all sides of it. Oh and I
Speaker 3: and then I got met. The audience kind of laughed
Speaker 3: and then I yelled at them for laughing and then
Speaker 3: just had to walk through. It was the worst and
Speaker 3: I would Yeah, I was hurt all week.
Speaker 1: I was like that that happened at the Punchline, a
Speaker 1: chain of comedy clubs, like one of the biggest comedy
Speaker 1: club chain there is. They don't have one step up
Speaker 1: to the stage.
Speaker 3: It was just a free floating box and cross your
Speaker 3: fingers and go heel first into it.
Speaker 2: At the quality that is a comedy club that all
Speaker 2: the furniture would be sound. Did someone from the club
Speaker 2: come up to me, You're gonna pay for that box?
Speaker 1: Chris?
Speaker 4: You might have snapped your heel.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: During Daniel's said you could hear the slight hammering of
Speaker 3: me fixing it in the green room while crying.
Speaker 4: I always feel like shit.
Speaker 2: When I broke a clock at Helium in Portland, climb
Speaker 2: over that wall on the other side of the walls
Speaker 2: the glass clock. It sounded way worse than it was,
Speaker 2: but I bought them a clock. They were very nice
Speaker 2: about it. That made me feel even worse that they
Speaker 2: were so polite about it.
Speaker 4: But yeah, it's target got the movie clock.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they are historically the most polite comedy club in America.
Speaker 3: It's okay that you broke our things. We're Portland, Chris.
Speaker 2: I feel like you're you've tried bits and auditions. If
Speaker 2: you ever had to clean something up, that's humiliating. Part
Speaker 2: of any bit is having you do some big thing
Speaker 2: in the room and then you have to clean it up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, I knocked all these papers off your desk.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh look, that one's my headshot that you won't ever
Speaker 3: look at again.
Speaker 4: Uh huh, already in the notepile.
Speaker 3: Did you have a job at Conan?
Speaker 2: I was, yeah, I was like floating Boy. It was
Speaker 2: never a job. It was just like that boy around.
Speaker 2: We don't we don't know what you do. We pity
Speaker 2: you and we want to do something with you. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I would host. I think the main job was running
Speaker 2: all the shows so it would warm cone it up
Speaker 2: for the tour because he had been a while since
Speaker 2: he had done live stuff. So the main job was
Speaker 2: hosting anything that that would help him get prepped for
Speaker 2: the tour. So that meant even charity gigs, and then
Speaker 2: the show at Dynasty, and then it'd be like video
Speaker 2: game streams that happened for twenty four hours. I'm in that,
Speaker 2: but not not an official title. It's just like always
Speaker 2: around there. Just let the routes here.
Speaker 3: I want floating Boy to be the name of your
Speaker 3: It's much.
Speaker 4: More magical than just what it is. I'm like that
Speaker 4: guy that's around.
Speaker 2: And then people were like, oh my god, you're gonna
Speaker 2: take over Conant. You're gonna it's like, it's not the
Speaker 2: Tonight Show. You can't take over Conan. There's no such thing.
Speaker 3: It's a person's name.
Speaker 4: It's his show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, boy, one day they're going to manufacture a suit
Speaker 3: that looks like Conan and you're gonna climb into it
Speaker 3: and pretend to be him.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna run Conan. You're never gonna address it.
Speaker 2: It's an odd enough name where I could just house
Speaker 2: the show and no one whatever asked why is it
Speaker 2: called ConA for eighty years down the line?
Speaker 1: Did you start as a PA? I mean like, were
Speaker 1: you on the staff somehow?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: No, JP Saul, Chris Red and I performing at Meltdown
Speaker 2: and asked us to do a pre show at Comic Coide,
Speaker 2: which meant we performed out side on the roof.
Speaker 4: And we did that.
Speaker 2: It's a twenty four hours show that would happen with
Speaker 2: like anytime, like, oh, the cast of teen Wolf is
Speaker 2: in and around the area. It can't be on the
Speaker 2: real show, but they could go up from the roof
Speaker 2: in San Diego.
Speaker 3: Jesus, did you show up and you were like, what,
Speaker 3: no gazebo?
Speaker 4: I was. I was ecstatic to be there.
Speaker 2: I was like, shit in my pants, so nervous Christmas,
Speaker 2: I guess bullshit. He had options, he was I got
Speaker 2: a Chuck Lori show and then yeah, we interviewed people
Speaker 2: in the sun and then Conan would come up there
Speaker 2: with us and just sort of tell people like this
Speaker 2: is a fig and don't tune out, and that went well.
Speaker 2: So I got to do the show, and then ever
Speaker 2: since then I just had worked there just as a performer,
Speaker 2: hired hand, but now I never I've never done it
Speaker 2: actually like productive work as far as I move anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he just obviously likes you, which is which is cool.
Speaker 3: I am It's a panel and I don't even know
Speaker 3: if this is It's a good thing to bring up because,
Speaker 3: as I recall, it ends with a video, a visual
Speaker 3: which we had a bunch of Indar special. Yeah, but
Speaker 3: you can blow it a bit, can you. Yes, I
Speaker 3: am going to blow it. Can you just talk about
Speaker 3: the tapes that you recorded over that.
Speaker 4: This is a very real story.
Speaker 2: So we were not allowed to watch TV growing up,
Speaker 2: extremely religious growing up, so any TV was like that
Speaker 2: is the devil. So the one thing we were kind
Speaker 2: of allowed to watch was musical performances because if my
Speaker 2: older brothers learned music, that would be a way to
Speaker 2: praise God. So sometimes my mom would let them record
Speaker 2: late night shows because of the musical guests that they
Speaker 2: would have. Oh, that's how I found out about Conan.
Speaker 2: I got addicted to the show and needed to wait
Speaker 2: to watch it. So I found this homeschool program with
Speaker 2: a heavy Christian slant. It makes Narnia look tame, and
Speaker 2: they send you these Christian tapes where science is taught
Speaker 2: to you with a real wink regarding science class. And
Speaker 2: I took those tapes so I could get a VCR
Speaker 2: and a TV in my room and I would record
Speaker 2: his show at night, put a tape in pressure record,
Speaker 2: turned the TV off, and then in the morning pretend
Speaker 2: I was doing school, but I was fast forwarding Leno
Speaker 2: and trying to watch his show as I hover up
Speaker 2: at the TV, being an idiot eleven year old. Is
Speaker 2: a subscription model. You send the tapes back every month,
Speaker 2: and I thought, Oh, if the worst comes to war
Speaker 2: someone at the Christian school academy, they're going to be upset. No,
Speaker 2: they blindly send those tapes to other kids, so they
Speaker 2: you rewind them and they just they don't look at
Speaker 2: them and quality control them. So other kids would be
Speaker 2: watching a science class, whether like photosynthesis is caused by
Speaker 2: the devil, that would cut out and it'd be like
Speaker 2: the FedEx Pope, or it'd be you know, Walker Texas
Speaker 2: Ranger Equips masturbating bear.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh god, that's the best.
Speaker 2: So they enough people complained to the program if it
Speaker 2: tapes are damage, and then it got so bad that
Speaker 2: eventually the program they yeah, contacted my mom.
Speaker 4: We had damage of the tapes.
Speaker 3: And the reveal is Karen, I don't know if you've
Speaker 3: saw it on ConA and he's like, and I have
Speaker 3: one of the tapes here, and it's just someone giving
Speaker 3: like a lecture, a boring science lecture, and then there's static,
Speaker 3: and then it's Conan and like in a cowboy costume dancing.
Speaker 3: It was the best.
Speaker 1: Sorry to question it, but you knew was a subscription
Speaker 1: model after the first time, and you kept doing it.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I mean this only this only happened, Like you.
Speaker 2: Have to just say, like, it takes such a while,
Speaker 2: such a slow program. It's just like a woman in
Speaker 2: Pensacola that's running the whole thing. So it took a while.
Speaker 2: For this to catch up. It was now if it
Speaker 2: was like even like what Netflix was in two thousand
Speaker 2: and eight, Oh my god. Yeah, be found out within
Speaker 2: a week. But no, such a slow program because it
Speaker 2: took multiple students complaining. I think some kids probably didn't
Speaker 2: even complain. That's homeschool. You're obviously being neglected. Put these
Speaker 2: types on you. I guess I'll watch this. It's not
Speaker 2: some boring lecture, but it was.
Speaker 3: For homeschool kids primarily. Yeah, which you you were homeschooled.
Speaker 4: Uh, that's generous. It is no school essentially.
Speaker 2: I think I learned how to read and write officially
Speaker 2: at sixteen slash eighteen, and then still struggle today, Like
Speaker 2: if I do a table read now, I'm like, I
Speaker 2: know it's scripts under locks, but I do need to
Speaker 2: look at it before.
Speaker 3: Get Well you didn't you say in your special that
Speaker 3: you just found out that you have dyslexia.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so.
Speaker 2: There's so much insecurity around not being able to read
Speaker 2: and write.
Speaker 4: It's the most embarrassing thing.
Speaker 3: So I just I'm not interested in it. That's word
Speaker 3: for me.
Speaker 4: Focus. It's not a good one.
Speaker 2: You're right, So, yeah, it took me a while to
Speaker 2: be like Okay, now I'm actually putting the effort in
Speaker 2: to learn how to read. I've gotten hooked on phonics
Speaker 2: off of eBay. It started a rudimentary that's hard, that's hard,
Speaker 2: but your shaving and you're listening to hooked on phonics.
Speaker 4: But it's so.
Speaker 2: Then I then I officially got tested by my therapist,
Speaker 2: recommended a psychologist, and then did a series of tests
Speaker 2: and I'm found out not only my dyslexic, but I'm
Speaker 2: also dysgraphic, which is the order of things. So if
Speaker 2: you were to tell me a phone number, I couldn't
Speaker 2: then transmit that into a written So it's the two
Speaker 2: worst things on top of the worst education.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's so because you've made up for it in
Speaker 3: another way. You seem to me to be a high
Speaker 3: functioning brand person. And that's something that was worded in
Speaker 3: a way that I'm admanding that I'm not high functioning brand.
Speaker 4: High functioning word person. You are me to do good
Speaker 4: at words.
Speaker 3: You're a high talking quality man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's possible with technology to not be entirely literate,
Speaker 2: because there's things like there's programs that can read for
Speaker 2: you or just but double the work in I can't
Speaker 2: cold read a script. I'd have to memorize the entire thing.
Speaker 2: So I because I'm not gonna sound it out if
Speaker 2: I do those bad like MTV clip shows where you
Speaker 2: read a telepropter, I come in the day before and
Speaker 2: I memorize the entire entire half hour script all the blocks.
Speaker 3: Did you do that kind of secretively or were you
Speaker 3: just openly, Like I have a reading thing that.
Speaker 2: Once you got a name for your disorder, this guy's
Speaker 2: the limit I'm mean mentally unwell.
Speaker 4: Where I can be up piece of shit. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the liberation of having a name and of the
Speaker 2: disorder has been It's great because now I can just
Speaker 2: tell producers up front you know, hey, I have this
Speaker 2: disorder and you can't discriminate.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think I shoul probably see what I have.
Speaker 3: I'm pretty certain just looking back on my life that
Speaker 3: I have some version of add Would you guess that, Karen?
Speaker 3: You know me about you? Yeah? I think sure, Yeah,
Speaker 3: so I should be taken well.
Speaker 1: I have a feeling though that most people that go
Speaker 1: into comedy is there's something about us where it's like
Speaker 1: we just first of all, we need to feel special
Speaker 1: and different. But it's because we are special and different.
Speaker 1: So whatever that kind of thing is, it's like there's
Speaker 1: nothing more independent, self sustaining, kind of like self propelling
Speaker 1: or whatever than stand up. Like no one can tell
Speaker 1: you how to do it. No one can tell you
Speaker 1: like anything about it. You just get to do it
Speaker 1: the way you do it, and you have to figure
Speaker 1: out how to do it well enough so that it's successful.
Speaker 1: So it's kind of the perfect thing for anyone, whether
Speaker 1: it's like a reading issue or a personality disorder or
Speaker 1: like for me, I just wanted to figure out how
Speaker 1: to smoke pot all the time, so like it and
Speaker 1: yet still like seem successful or like I was doing
Speaker 1: something like the partying aspect. So I just think it's
Speaker 1: kind of like, yeah, it would make perfect sense.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just I one time working I'm making that
Speaker 3: World's Dummas show. I would get so overwhelmed by everything,
Speaker 3: and someone said, here, try this adderall It'll help you focused.
Speaker 3: And I've never felt more normal before and everything was
Speaker 3: easier for me. And I'm like, oh, okay, I'm someone
Speaker 3: that maybe requires this pill. And that was five years ago.
Speaker 3: I haven't looked back. I have never you. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: have not. I've taken it once in my life and
Speaker 3: that that was one of the best days of my life.
Speaker 2: Yet, I because it sounds like you do need it.
Speaker 2: I think for people that actually do need it, you
Speaker 2: don't have the mass slash cocaine effect. We're like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm going to clean my closets a normal I'm focused
Speaker 2: now I can read this next.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that terrible come down.
Speaker 2: But right right, are you afraid of having a dependency
Speaker 2: on a drug?
Speaker 3: I'm afraid that, like Karen was saying, if I end
Speaker 3: up taking something like that, all of a sudden, the
Speaker 3: urgency and frantic energy I use to do stand up
Speaker 3: will be gone, and I'll no longer be funny, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Very possible. Yeah, very similar to me being afraid the
Speaker 1: bees are going to be taken away. If I'm scared
Speaker 1: the bees are taken away, and now I'm not funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was the secret to everything.
Speaker 1: That's that's twenty feet down a hill away from minus. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I never watched that movie with Tom Hanks where all
Speaker 3: the bees come out of that guy's mouth. What was
Speaker 3: what was up with that? Oh?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I just know e from the mummies
Speaker 4: it's all the bugs bees.
Speaker 1: Oh you're talking about the Green Mile.
Speaker 3: Yes, thank you. Oh bees fly out of his mouth,
Speaker 3: and I remember ceasing to watch it after that moment.
Speaker 4: You might need that at all.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe I do.
Speaker 1: Maybe I do, And you need it right now the
Speaker 1: thing is now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I didn't like the way it made me feel. After
Speaker 2: I was like, this is not good. It's whatever the
Speaker 2: benefit I would get from reading. It's different for everyone.
Speaker 2: It sounds like it's bad. It's just like you like
Speaker 2: the comdown is awful wow, because it does focus you
Speaker 2: and you do get a little bit of a joy,
Speaker 2: a little bit of a boost that would help you
Speaker 2: not get frustrated, because if you are to read now,
Speaker 2: I get physical headaches, right, and everything in your childhood
Speaker 2: comes up with the frustration of like why why didn't
Speaker 2: my parents take care of me? And think you should
Speaker 2: probably to be in school. So it does help you
Speaker 2: power through that. But then it's just awful come down.
Speaker 2: You're essentially borrowing tomorrow's joy for today.
Speaker 1: Moses, will you talk a little bit about your childhood.
Speaker 1: I know you don't want to, like, yeah, blow jokes
Speaker 1: from your special but at the same time, it is
Speaker 1: incredibly fascinating how you grew up.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's like what I'm working on now. It's
Speaker 4: part two.
Speaker 2: We barely scratch the surface in this special, just because
Speaker 2: it's at a time and I'm I don't know. It
Speaker 2: takes a lot of talent to make some of that
Speaker 2: stuff funny, and I'm just not talented enough as a
Speaker 2: comedian to make it work.
Speaker 4: Very religious parents.
Speaker 2: They joined a doomsday cult in the nineties, and it.
Speaker 4: Wasn't the famous one.
Speaker 2: I don't think they never They had a name called
Speaker 2: The Way, but then there's a way more successful cult
Speaker 2: called The Way, and so they just dropped the name
Speaker 2: and they never renamed it because they don't believe in themselves.
Speaker 2: So then we for most of my life, there's three
Speaker 2: families in the cult, a lot of kids in each
Speaker 2: of the families, suspect that they just had kids to
Speaker 2: fill out the membership, And we traveled around. Each of
Speaker 2: the families had a bus like a Greyhound bus that
Speaker 2: very shabby, but converted that into a home, and we
Speaker 2: would tour around the United States unofficially and street preach.
Speaker 2: We would have big neon signs that say you're headed
Speaker 2: for help, and the younger, the kid that's yelling fire
Speaker 2: and brimstone. The more of an interest catcher it is.
Speaker 3: So so that was your first performance.
Speaker 2: First performance, it was exactly like a college show. Outside
Speaker 2: yelling at the.
Speaker 3: Top of my loss, people ignoring you, not.
Speaker 2: Really comprehending what the words you're headed for. Hell means,
Speaker 2: I just know that mommy wants you to do that.
Speaker 2: So I remember, I mean, people hated us.
Speaker 4: You're yelling. You're people like I'm a Christian. You're like, no,
Speaker 4: it's not Christianity. You're gonna burn.
Speaker 2: So people would spit on us. They throw a beer
Speaker 2: at us, which like what even if someone's saying you
Speaker 2: don't like something, that's a kid. Yeah, they'd moonas. They
Speaker 2: were very much on you when you tell them that
Speaker 2: they're going to die and it's all over.
Speaker 3: It's a slippery slope mooning kids. I've never done it myself,
Speaker 3: but that was a bad choice. But they were, I guess.
Speaker 4: But hey, we got to go the spring break.
Speaker 3: You grow up through Daytona Beach.
Speaker 4: We got to go to Lallapalooza, the outside park of.
Speaker 3: Wait.
Speaker 1: Really, so, was it like you kind of strategically choose
Speaker 1: places where yeah, big groups.
Speaker 2: It was really on what we could afford, which is
Speaker 2: not a lot of travel. People like you got to
Speaker 2: go everywhere. It's like we'll spend a lot of time
Speaker 2: in Florida and North Carolina and Ohio. And then yeah,
Speaker 2: I would try to be around bigger events or we
Speaker 2: would stick around another week if something was coming up.
Speaker 4: It's something as small as a festival.
Speaker 2: Lose is probably the biggest example, but sometimes it could
Speaker 2: just be a fun run for the cure. But out
Speaker 2: to this day, like this, Branana got cancer, You're gonna burn?
Speaker 1: Oh God.
Speaker 2: Basically anywhere there was a crowd, we were there and
Speaker 2: it was about it's called witnessing, witnessing for God anywhere
Speaker 2: and everywhewhere. So if you're at Walmart, the idea was
Speaker 2: like you're you would just feel this push on your back,
Speaker 2: your mind go and you have to give someone, uh
Speaker 2: some neon track. It was a religious pamphlet that I
Speaker 2: had no idea what it says and still doesn't know
Speaker 2: what it says, and uh yeah, you just have to
Speaker 2: tell them that they're headed for hell.
Speaker 4: And then I had no backup from there.
Speaker 3: So as a kid, did you you just kind of
Speaker 3: went through the motions. It's you probably weren't like a
Speaker 3: hardcore believer in everything that you were being told to do.
Speaker 2: Right, Ah, we're terrified. I mean, it wasn't so like
Speaker 2: brain dey go to the motion. It was just like,
Speaker 2: oh shit, yeah, I guess I'll do this. I don't
Speaker 2: want to be in trouble. And then all my siblings
Speaker 2: are doing it and we're isolated from everyone else.
Speaker 4: So that's your entire reality.
Speaker 2: There's very little barometers for like, hey, this isn't normal
Speaker 2: because those kids they have Christmas and they go to school.
Speaker 2: Once I got to I don't know, eight nine ten,
Speaker 2: you started looking around like the kids are in school,
Speaker 2: We're not allowed.
Speaker 4: To talk to anyone. This is odd.
Speaker 2: And then you see your just your parents get to
Speaker 2: yelled at at a grocery store, not even for witnessing
Speaker 2: sometimes sometimes just for shoplifting, just bad behavior and not
Speaker 2: paying rent at a campground. So early on, the people
Speaker 2: that are supposed to be your authority figures. Very early on,
Speaker 2: it was like, oh, they don't got these are people
Speaker 2: that do not have me. So then the paradigm starts
Speaker 2: to shift. You start to think a little bit more
Speaker 2: for yourself. Once you come to that awakening that those
Speaker 2: people aren't the arbor is of truth, those aren't authority figures,
Speaker 2: everyone in the world is not happy with them. But
Speaker 2: then I believe I was going to hell up until
Speaker 2: I was sixteen.
Speaker 1: Well the hell thing is just as being raised Catholic,
Speaker 1: obviously very different. But there's that thing where it's kind
Speaker 1: of like but the rationale that they give you does
Speaker 1: hold up for a while where it's like just walking
Speaker 1: away doesn't feel right because there is you know, the
Speaker 1: understanding is it's all throughout your life. So it's just
Speaker 1: like that idea of totally turning your back on a
Speaker 1: thing that was built in is a hard thing to do.
Speaker 4: That's hard to be. Like, I was wrong for so long.
Speaker 2: It's scary, and it's scary now to not have any
Speaker 2: set faith thing of just being like, are you dieing?
Speaker 4: There's nothing, so I don't believe in nothing.
Speaker 2: I'm I'm mostly not annoying Bill Maher a man in
Speaker 2: the sky who Yeah, it's well that helps.
Speaker 4: A lot of people out. Yeah, yeah, what do you know?
Speaker 4: Coffee bread?
Speaker 2: But I wish I had something in my life, like
Speaker 2: I wish self help work done me, like I wish
Speaker 2: Eckert totally was something that was like, now that makes
Speaker 2: me feel good.
Speaker 1: Echo totally though the simplicity of that, I don't you
Speaker 1: know that like sit on a bench and stare concept,
Speaker 1: It's like I need I do need more directions. Sorry.
Speaker 2: It is a privilege of the ranage too to be
Speaker 2: able to sit on a bench and be present meditate.
Speaker 2: If you're a single mom with five kids, you to
Speaker 2: yell that there's not a lot of time to meditate.
Speaker 1: No, not at all, or even have any quiet at all.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think I think a lot of self help is
Speaker 2: geared towards people with a privileged life, and there's nothing
Speaker 2: wrong with that. But when you become privilege, your problems
Speaker 2: are less. It's more interesting self worth. What am I
Speaker 2: even doing with my life? You have time to examine
Speaker 2: those other things. But if if the landlord is at
Speaker 2: your door, if there's a threat, if there's like, oh,
Speaker 2: we can't go in that room because the one of
Speaker 2: the rooms is overtaken by mice and roaches, which is
Speaker 2: a thing that's what we were focused on. It wasn't
Speaker 2: there was no time to be like what is it?
Speaker 4: Ald I?
Speaker 3: Everything I want to follow this up with is from
Speaker 3: your special and like Karen said, I don't want to hand.
Speaker 4: I don't care. I don't care who cares.
Speaker 3: The most memorable thing is that your mom died all
Speaker 3: your kids all the kid's hair blonde. So to confuse
Speaker 3: the landlord that there was only one kid if I
Speaker 3: make them all look the same, and to make it
Speaker 3: seem like she was a natural blonde. Look, all my
Speaker 3: kids are blonde. So those two reasons, I don't know
Speaker 3: which is better.
Speaker 4: This is true.
Speaker 2: That was the first time I did that second part
Speaker 2: of the joke because we had all these stopdowns because
Speaker 2: so many things went wrong during the tapeing. The first
Speaker 2: part of the joke where it's supposed to end, is
Speaker 2: my mom died all five of her kids blonde because
Speaker 2: she didn't want anyone knowing that she herself was not
Speaker 2: a natural blonde, right, even a cereal killer on that run,
Speaker 2: But the law would be like, that's too much.
Speaker 4: I'm not going to gone girl my kids with hair dye. Now.
Speaker 2: In the process of setting up the special, I ran
Speaker 2: everything by her because I was like, what is somebody
Speaker 2: that didn't sign.
Speaker 4: Up to be in the entertainment industry?
Speaker 2: And even though it's my life and my experience, I
Speaker 2: think there is some sort of responsibility that you have
Speaker 2: to be like, hey, I'm going to do this. You're
Speaker 2: not going to be embarrassed on a giant streaming service,
Speaker 2: but let me ed to tell you what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: So then in that process of talking about the hair days,
Speaker 2: she goes, oh, yeah, but it wasn't it's like about
Speaker 2: to take a special She goes, it wasn't just because
Speaker 2: of that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, sure I was.
Speaker 2: I wanted not people to not know I was a
Speaker 2: fake plant, but we were about to be evicted from
Speaker 2: a one bedroom apartment and I was trying to make
Speaker 2: all you five.
Speaker 4: Kids look like one kid.
Speaker 3: So your mom wrote that joke, Yeah.
Speaker 2: And it was just the fact, like I could never
Speaker 2: think of specific that would top that of.
Speaker 4: Like, well, that's like when you're at that carnival. It's
Speaker 4: like that is it?
Speaker 1: That's a genius?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is your mom now out of that belief system or as.
Speaker 2: That for her there's like a tether to the past
Speaker 2: of that. I wonder how much she belie leaves about it.
Speaker 2: But I think as far as the cult leader James,
Speaker 2: I don't know she's in contact with him. I mean,
Speaker 2: one of the really genius things that the cult leader
Speaker 2: did is that she was never in You always keep
Speaker 2: people at her arms distance of you, never are accepted.
Speaker 4: He's never like you were saved.
Speaker 2: So it keeps you wanting his affection, It keeps you
Speaker 2: wanting to try harder, send him more money. When her
Speaker 2: grandmother died, she gave him all the inheritance money. Oh wow,
Speaker 2: So it's she was never accepted. So maybe there's something
Speaker 2: liberating in all of us kids being like that guy
Speaker 2: wasn't right.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 2: I remember he came into the house and he humiliated
Speaker 2: you in front of all of us and said that
Speaker 2: you don't need to listen to your mom anymore.
Speaker 4: She's she's a witch. She's going to burn. That's not right.
Speaker 4: So I don't there's some scarring there where.
Speaker 2: I think she's still if he came back, it was like,
Speaker 2: you're accepted, she sheould go back.
Speaker 4: But I think over all, no, she's leveled out. She's remarried.
Speaker 4: She's in an.
Speaker 2: RV again, but this time a company did the conversion.
Speaker 4: And yeah, I think it is one of the nuns.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh good.
Speaker 2: And she's spending her sixties just apologizing to everyone and
Speaker 2: trying to make up for the past and trying to be.
Speaker 4: A really good grandma.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and a lot of people have scars in the
Speaker 2: past and they're still taking their time to come around.
Speaker 2: But overall, yeah, she has learned, you know, thirty years
Speaker 2: later from her mistakes.
Speaker 1: That's great. I mean that that's rare.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I do know that she has to be funny though,
Speaker 3: because the trying to get you guys on America's Funniest
Speaker 3: fone videos is a job, a serious ideet, like, we
Speaker 3: have to take this seriously as a job.
Speaker 2: That's what's so funny is the stakes are so high.
Speaker 2: So one of our jobs growing up mainly was dumpster
Speaker 2: diving and then selling the junk at a yard sale
Speaker 2: that was pop up sometimes other people's front lawns because
Speaker 2: we couldn't keep doing the trailer park. No one wants
Speaker 2: to come to a trailer park, so we would just
Speaker 2: set up on other people's yards. There's that grass right
Speaker 2: before the curb's yeah property, this isn't.
Speaker 3: Technically your yard, sir.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: People are very confused, but you're out front and they're
Speaker 2: like what the and people are like, can you use
Speaker 2: your bathroom? Like no, so, but one of the jobs
Speaker 2: that we had is uh and that's just one of them.
Speaker 4: I have maybe four other bits.
Speaker 2: Is she would aggressively try to get us on America's
Speaker 2: Funniest Home Videos Rest in Peace, Bob Saget. As a job,
Speaker 2: she would write these bits or be something that would
Speaker 2: happen organically that she would try to recreate later. Like
Speaker 2: my brother found in one of her brawls. He's like, look, mom,
Speaker 2: knee pads and in her head like that's the height
Speaker 2: of comedy.
Speaker 3: She was like, say it like you just thought of it.
Speaker 3: Say it like you said up before.
Speaker 4: So we spent two days trying to capture that bit.
Speaker 2: And then one from the special is that we're going
Speaker 2: to be making cookies in the kitchen all of us kids.
Speaker 2: Kids are so messy, and then two year old me,
Speaker 2: A lot of the bits fell on me. It is
Speaker 2: like the youngest, the smallest one. It's funny if the
Speaker 2: littlest one one does something. I was going to drop
Speaker 2: a bag of flower reaching for something to the land
Speaker 2: of my sister's head. But uh, the nature of having
Speaker 2: children and trying to stage bit uh, And I don't
Speaker 2: think it's spoiling it.
Speaker 4: It takes a shit ton of takes to get it.
Speaker 3: So great and you're just staring at your mom the
Speaker 3: whole time. Now, I don't understand the joke.
Speaker 2: It's like a great who's on first mold me? Like,
Speaker 2: I don't think if I sat for a thousand years
Speaker 2: in a room could write all the ways that the
Speaker 2: kids mess it up.
Speaker 4: It's such an.
Speaker 2: Organic, pure just like they want to do good but
Speaker 2: they just don't understand. And you start to feel her
Speaker 2: frustration at a certain point.
Speaker 4: Off like fucking do it. Yeah, I was really happy
Speaker 4: that got cleared. It made it in?
Speaker 1: Did you is money? Is there money to be made
Speaker 1: if your video gets on America?
Speaker 4: Thousand dollars? Oh exact? But we never did that.
Speaker 2: We just got the appearance fee, so she was going
Speaker 2: for ten grande it.
Speaker 1: You made it on.
Speaker 4: We made it on.
Speaker 2: But that's not a win for how much time we
Speaker 2: put in. Because she watched if you do it Hit
Speaker 2: in the Nuts video, we rud study it. This is
Speaker 2: like one show we were allowed to watch you do
Speaker 2: it Hitting the Nuts thing. You're just gonna be put
Speaker 2: into a montage. You don't want to be put into
Speaker 2: a montage. If you're on Last Comic Standing and you
Speaker 2: do so little bit, you're gonna be putting a montage
Speaker 2: on your own.
Speaker 3: Story original concept.
Speaker 4: Yeah, right, So.
Speaker 2: She's like, it's gotta be something with dialogue because they
Speaker 2: have to stop do they got to cut the music,
Speaker 2: So we try to revolve around that. The one that
Speaker 2: she was a little anxious about was like, oh, the
Speaker 2: flower bit, maybe there's enough. That's why she's trying to
Speaker 2: get the lines right of like mom, Mom, can I help?
Speaker 4: But then they just took it.
Speaker 2: And they put it essentially the cold open montage, just like,
Speaker 2: damn it not eligible.
Speaker 1: That is such a like as we're sitting here though,
Speaker 1: now I'm thinking of all my favorite Americas videos because
Speaker 1: they're the good ones, are the greatest things ever right there.
Speaker 1: I mean like I can think of ten of them
Speaker 1: right now. That really was a brilliant chance.
Speaker 2: It's it's like what TikTok is now. I mean, the
Speaker 2: most interesting things are on there. It's like, yeah, it's
Speaker 2: nice to sit down and watch, you know, breaking back,
Speaker 2: but just something is so entertaining about something.
Speaker 4: That's real to it happened. It's uh yeah, it's just
Speaker 4: it's us. It's it's rare moments that it's us. Yeah.
Speaker 4: So they were essentially YouTube before YouTube was a thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh man, that's genius.
Speaker 4: Yeah. So your your mom.
Speaker 1: Was the opposite of my parents, who were always like
Speaker 1: enough and already like just.
Speaker 2: That got you into clowning business is that you were
Speaker 2: taught to not to be serious.
Speaker 1: Well, I have to be serious. Just that. It was
Speaker 1: kind of just like the classic line of my dad's
Speaker 1: was show off time is over. So it was like
Speaker 1: for like they could take it twenty for twenty five
Speaker 1: seconds and then it stop. So the idea of having
Speaker 1: like that was my dream as a kid, to have
Speaker 1: a mother that would be like, let's all get together,
Speaker 1: we're getting in the kitchen, we're going to do a
Speaker 1: bit like that idea was what I thought I really
Speaker 1: wanted so badly.
Speaker 2: Show Off is over such a deadline, such a bad line,
Speaker 2: so you'd use that.
Speaker 4: Multiple I think we ever got this.
Speaker 2: It's not a movie, so don't make a scene.
Speaker 4: I was like, m it will work.
Speaker 3: Play my dad, just give me the light.
Speaker 4: That's what I got it.
Speaker 3: Like, oh so like a two minutes or five minutes?
Speaker 3: What does that mean again?
Speaker 4: I forgot you're nursing and he's giving you the light.
Speaker 1: Wrap it up.
Speaker 2: That's what was hard about the driving shows is that
Speaker 2: that's how we know how to get off stage is
Speaker 2: the light, and people would flash their headlights, just have
Speaker 2: their running lights right, So constantly people are like, get off.
Speaker 3: I don't know why, but I loved those shows, the
Speaker 3: ones at Irvine that I thought they were going to
Speaker 3: be terrifying, because the sound of a horn beeping is
Speaker 3: not if.
Speaker 2: You've only earned that in the context of idiot, get
Speaker 2: out of the way, it's very hard to reprogram your brain.
Speaker 4: To now process that as a positive sound. I'm doing good.
Speaker 3: We've never heard a symphony of them, you know, honking
Speaker 3: and unison and all of a sudden, that's this pleasant thing.
Speaker 3: I loved it. I did not expect to enjoy that,
Speaker 3: but it was great.
Speaker 4: You should put out your special as a driving show.
Speaker 2: But in like five years from now, people are well
Speaker 2: over it.
Speaker 4: That was a pandemic thing. No he did this.
Speaker 3: Now, yeah, he's just got addicted to cars honking.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was hard watch those ones. It's like comics.
Speaker 4: I really like. But the ones that happened they Amazon.
Speaker 2: Did car shows and then they added laughs on top
Speaker 2: of the hanks. So now thenks just like stakes for
Speaker 2: people that like you know, it's like a good hour
Speaker 2: they did for all cars.
Speaker 4: Never figured out the audio.
Speaker 3: What are your interests? Southern comedy? What could you spend
Speaker 3: hours talking about?
Speaker 4: Started skating.
Speaker 2: It's the same thing of like you could be a loner, right,
Speaker 2: you know, you could get good out on your own
Speaker 2: and then had stopped because you're just getting hurt, and
Speaker 2: then in the lockdown, just trying to do more things
Speaker 2: that match my face. Learned how to surf in the
Speaker 2: lockdown and really like that.
Speaker 3: Okay, I find scary.
Speaker 2: It was like a way to get your adrenaline out
Speaker 2: because the ocean I scarcely shit out of me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, me still to this day. I started skating a
Speaker 3: lot during quarantine, getting back into it because I had
Speaker 3: my hip surgery and everything. But surfing, there's something about
Speaker 3: my I think it's the fear of drowning more than sharks.
Speaker 3: I'm just so oh me too. And I've gone surfing
Speaker 3: probably fifty times, and I feel like I'm not any
Speaker 3: better than I It's the most frustrating, difficult thing I've
Speaker 3: and there's.
Speaker 4: Times you really get held down. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I needed it in the in the lockdown because one
Speaker 2: it took a four hour chunk out of the day. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's just to get to the wetsit all the shit,
Speaker 2: so it's eating time and it forced you to stay
Speaker 2: present because it's just wave after wave. Yeah, there's some
Speaker 2: really big days that probably shouldn't have been out, but
Speaker 2: you get held under it for quite a while.
Speaker 3: The wet I can't. Whenever I'm taking off a wet suit,
Speaker 3: I'm like, there's no way, this is how you're supposed
Speaker 3: to do it, right there. I the the the times
Speaker 3: as a child when I take try and take my
Speaker 3: jeans off and I and I keep my shoes on
Speaker 3: out of laziness, and then you're just you have to
Speaker 3: call your parents in because your shoes are will not
Speaker 3: go over your your or your pants won't go over
Speaker 3: your shoes. That's what every time taking off a wetsuit
Speaker 3: feels like.
Speaker 2: It's this is a fuse show. By the way, Karen,
Speaker 2: this is what we do. This is exactly the fuse
Speaker 2: every shoes show.
Speaker 1: It's a surf complaint. Complaint.
Speaker 4: I've ever been.
Speaker 2: Feeling too good about your body put a wet suit on.
Speaker 2: It's the shape that you are, oh stomach and taking
Speaker 2: it off it's uncomfortable. I like it is very embarrassing.
Speaker 2: I pulled my shoulder just getting it off.
Speaker 3: I hurt my back taking getting the water. Yeah, you
Speaker 3: need dis soap. That's the only way to get around it.
Speaker 3: Cover your body and dis soap.
Speaker 2: Surfers are not chill. Part of it was the lockdown,
Speaker 2: but that has not been my experienced. The amount of
Speaker 2: fights that I've seen out there, and every grown man
Speaker 2: looks so stupid trying to fight on a floating board.
Speaker 2: But there was very hostile. Yeah, there's only so many
Speaker 2: waves and there's too many surfers, so everyone's cutting everyone off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is. That's one of the main reasons I
Speaker 3: never got into that skateboarding. Never had that, Hey, this
Speaker 3: is our turf. Maybe in movies where there's like a
Speaker 3: skate villain, like in Paul Blart Mall Coop or something,
Speaker 3: but there it's mostly pretty inclusive and surfing. I've I've
Speaker 3: had grown men take a swing at me and I
Speaker 3: don't even know why because I was in their way
Speaker 3: and I'm just, oh, I'm just trying to not drown.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that you were right behind me trying.
Speaker 4: To catch the way finite.
Speaker 2: It's like stage time, you know, there's only so many
Speaker 2: waves at the right shape, at the perfect time, at
Speaker 2: that certain moment. So on like escape Market, it's always there.
Speaker 2: You can just go in the next turn. Yeah, you
Speaker 2: could be waiting three minutes, so you could be waiting
Speaker 2: twenty five minutes for the next wave.
Speaker 3: A really good point, Yes, because like you.
Speaker 2: Just wasted twenty five minutes because you're an idiot and you.
Speaker 4: Didn't look left. So I got it. I got a
Speaker 4: little hostile. I didn't take a swing at.
Speaker 2: Anyone, Yeah, but I did do some very sassy eye rolls.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got the message of you again. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I do love that idea that it's counter to every
Speaker 1: uh piece of propaganda about surfers with hey man, that's cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, not at all.
Speaker 2: It's like Silicon Valley tech bros out there talking about NFTs.
Speaker 4: Yeah it was. It was also out there.
Speaker 3: My favorite quote is Kyle Kanaan's. He was like, surfing
Speaker 3: is like falling off a roof and having the house
Speaker 3: chase you. I always thought that was because, Yeah, waves
Speaker 3: are just so powerful and like you said, they hold
Speaker 3: you under. I I'm terrified of it.
Speaker 4: You never go to the beach.
Speaker 2: I feel like we live close, but we never go
Speaker 2: and an hour in la is not close.
Speaker 4: Yeah, right, Oh, I.
Speaker 3: Used to live two blocks. I lived in Venice for years.
Speaker 3: I'm embarrassed that I didn't become a surfer. I serve
Speaker 3: for like fifteen years, and I'm well, I could walk
Speaker 3: down there. I am the owner of surfboards, but I
Speaker 3: just never I don't know.
Speaker 4: And now it's the whole thing.
Speaker 2: It's like, I want to work out for an hour,
Speaker 2: and it's gonna take an hour to get down there,
Speaker 2: thirty minutes changing and up hour to get back. And
Speaker 2: now traffic is back, so it's even worse. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: really kept up.
Speaker 1: So surfing is your main thing.
Speaker 2: It was in the lockdown, and I think that's what
Speaker 2: I want to be known for. Yeah, and it's not
Speaker 2: a surprise. It is the first time I've ever done it.
Speaker 2: But people just presume I already do that. So and
Speaker 2: then even people in the water, they would let me
Speaker 2: go because this guy's going to be good, And then
Speaker 2: you see them get.
Speaker 4: Disappointed in real time. Why do you struggle?
Speaker 3: Why do you have that hair?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: You have such surfey hair. Your hair looks like a wave.
Speaker 2: But ever since I've been like working on the special
Speaker 2: and then I you know, I had to edit the
Speaker 2: whole thing. I did all the graphics everything for it.
Speaker 2: So there's been no time I haven't done anything.
Speaker 3: I watched a Yeah, your preparation, it seems like they
Speaker 3: left everything, including finding all that stuff to paint white
Speaker 3: the stage. Why was it? Why were they so hands
Speaker 3: off or is that kind of.
Speaker 2: I was asking for a lot, so I had to
Speaker 2: be prepared to do a lot. If you get a special,
Speaker 2: what is provided for you is there's gonna be a curtain,
Speaker 2: there's gonna be three per right, and there's gonna be
Speaker 2: a jib camera that's gonna swoop in on your texting jokes.
Speaker 2: But I wanted not that camera. I wanted fancy, fancy
Speaker 2: me me film cameras, and I wanted a set.
Speaker 4: That I want to build that with double as a screen.
Speaker 2: So yeah, granted, they sure they could do more, but
Speaker 2: it was like, I'm asking for more, so I'll.
Speaker 4: Put the work in to do it.
Speaker 2: So I built the set, but I had people helped
Speaker 2: me out too, the actual crew guys help me screw
Speaker 2: things in.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 3: And it's amazing. I saw your model for it and everything,
Speaker 3: and you going to thrift stores and buying all that
Speaker 3: stuff and spending a lot of money on what appears
Speaker 3: to be junk. Yeah, but really, really it really worked out.
Speaker 3: It really looked amazing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's funny that I used everything my mom taught me.
Speaker 2: Everything I was running from, as far as collecting junk
Speaker 2: off the streets, haggling with people.
Speaker 4: It always means be so uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Just in the process of putting the special gather came
Speaker 2: around to even more for giftness.
Speaker 4: Just having to set this up. I did learn some skills.
Speaker 4: They're not you know, it's drifting, but still skills.
Speaker 1: Beautiful full circa.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you didn't have to tell anyone to go
Speaker 3: they're going to hell.
Speaker 4: I did. It's healthy.
Speaker 2: They didn't make the behind the scenes footage, but I'm
Speaker 2: sure going to hell.
Speaker 4: Yeah the whole don Kirsty with that red hair and skin,
Speaker 4: that's a sign, that's a sign.
Speaker 1: Well, well this is awesome. Yeah, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for being here with us.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, of.
Speaker 4: Course, thank you so much for giving me a ride.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm proud of Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Just so you guys have completely abandoned the hull hook
Speaker 2: of the show.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for now you can't do it. And now we'll
Speaker 3: addicted to not being in a card. But we will.
Speaker 3: We'll be back in the car soon and you can
Speaker 3: we'll be back.
Speaker 1: Well, we just can't get in the car and then
Speaker 1: be like we know for sure we won't give you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's terrible. Yeah right, we will dramatically change your
Speaker 4: life forever.
Speaker 1: Just like in the beginning, Chris is like, we can
Speaker 1: still do it in the car, and we were me
Speaker 1: Chris and Stephen were all like, yeah, we can still,
Speaker 1: It's fine, and then there's like, no, no, it'll take
Speaker 1: one one time and we'll give it to one person
Speaker 1: and then we'll totally regret.
Speaker 2: It immediately backtrack by thoughts like steal, like an open
Speaker 2: air cheap the audio.
Speaker 1: Shot, everyone's into the Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, I appreciate you having me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm doing anything and everything to you know, should
Speaker 2: I get the word out about this special?
Speaker 4: So yeah, well you give me a show.
Speaker 1: At your official plugs. I don't even think they've said
Speaker 1: the name.
Speaker 2: It's called Trash White and it's streaming on HBO Max
Speaker 2: right now, and it's yeah, the story of my whole life.
Speaker 2: And you see all the stuff that I built, all
Speaker 2: the all the junk from the streets of Los Angeles.
Speaker 4: Amazing stage.
Speaker 3: It's great. It's it's stand up, but it's also like
Speaker 3: amazing storytelling. I haven't even you. It was different than
Speaker 3: what I've seen you do on stage. It was it
Speaker 3: was really a special said a better word than special,
Speaker 3: Well it is that. No.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just so happy that people have responded to
Speaker 2: it so well, because when I watch it, I hate
Speaker 2: it because I just I'm upside down on it. I mean,
Speaker 2: I've been involved in every single detail that all I
Speaker 2: can see are the flaws, the things I wish I
Speaker 2: would do better. But people's response to it this week
Speaker 2: in a non humble bragway that has blown me away,
Speaker 2: and I don't know, maybe like it a little bit more.
Speaker 3: That's so great. So yeah, trash right on HBO Max
Speaker 3: with Moses Storm. Thank you for being our guest today. Moses,
Speaker 3: You're the best man you've been listening to. Do you
Speaker 3: need a ride?
Speaker 4: Do you y are?
Speaker 3: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 1: Produced by Casey O'Brien, mixed by Ryo Bound.
Speaker 3: Theme song by Karen Kilgara, art.
Speaker 1: Work by Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 3: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and on Facebook at
Speaker 3: dinar podcast That's d y n Ar podcast.
Speaker 1: For more information, go to exactlyrightmedia dot com.
Speaker 3: Listen, subscribe, leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher,
Speaker 3: or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you, and you're welcome,
Speaker 3: not