1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: Only twenty six days left until November third. You can 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: go to vote dot org. Vote dot org if you 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,160 Speaker 1: haven't registered yet. It takes a couple of minutes. Then 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,719 Speaker 1: you can get all of the information you need. Where's 5 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 1: my polling place? You know? All of that? When can 6 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: I vote early? All of that? Okay, vote dot org. 7 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: Get all the information. We are planning to vote. Okay. 8 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: We're not just gonna go in there and just vote 9 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,160 Speaker 1: off the cuff. We're gonna plan this thing all right, right, 10 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: and apply showed you last night. Yes, yes, twenty six 11 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 1: days left. Twenty six days left, so please go to 12 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: vote dot org. All right, guys, time now for today's 13 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter and listen. If you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, 14 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,160 Speaker 1: parenting and more. Please submit your Strawberry letter to Steve 15 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: HARVEYFM dot com and click submitty letter. We could be 16 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 17 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. Buggle up 18 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: and hold on tight. We got a fall you here. 19 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 1: It is all right. Subject. She must think I'm boo 20 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:17,119 Speaker 1: boo the fool. Dear Stephen Shirley, my marriage has been 21 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: very rocky and it has gotten worse. My wife and 22 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: I have four kids in a short period. We had 23 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 1: four kids in a short period of time, so I 24 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 1: was stressful. It was real stressful at home and with 25 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: small kids running around. I got a really good job 26 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,319 Speaker 1: to take care of my family so my wife could 27 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:38,480 Speaker 1: finish her degree. My wife got her degree and she 28 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 1: started working. When our youngest child started school. That's when 29 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: things went from bad to worse in our marriage. Our 30 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 1: sex life started to change, and she would sleep in 31 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: the guest room because she said I snored too loudly 32 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: and she needed her rest. Everything irritated her, so I 33 00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: let her sleep in the guest room. Then she told 34 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 1: me she wanted a mental health break from me and 35 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: the children, and I understood it and allowed her to 36 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: get a hotel room for a weekend. She did that 37 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: a couple of times before I put my foot down 38 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 1: and told her to go to counseling if she's having 39 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: that much trouble coping with life. She lashed out and 40 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: said she's not happy and she never should have settled 41 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: for me. She told me that I was not the 42 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,679 Speaker 1: type of man that she usually dated, but she respected 43 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,920 Speaker 1: me and knew I would be a good provider and 44 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 1: family man. I didn't feel like arguing again in front 45 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: of the children, so I told her we'd talked later. 46 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: She told me she would talk to me when she 47 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 1: came home Sunday, and she left the house with her suitcase. 48 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: I was too mentally drained to stop her. Sunday morning, 49 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 1: the children and I went to church, and she was 50 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 1: there in the front, full of praise and worship and 51 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 1: looking refreshed. Mind you, we hadn't seen her since Thursday. 52 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: My children deserve a lot better, and I'm not booboo 53 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 1: the fool. How should I handle this? Wow? Ooh, this 54 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 1: is a major problem. Okay, this is a major problem, 55 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 1: and I'm just shocked that you've put up with it 56 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: for this long. The question is why is your wife 57 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:17,840 Speaker 1: acting like this? She said she can't stand your snoring, 58 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: but it sounds like way more than that going on 59 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: in your marriage. She's sick of everything everything. She's sick 60 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 1: of you, she's sick of the kids, and you have 61 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: you guys have four kids that are very young. She's 62 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: sick of the marriage, she's sick of the house. So 63 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 1: she goes to a hotel again. She's sick of everything. 64 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: Is she having an affair could bring that up. That 65 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,160 Speaker 1: could be a question. Maybe I don't. I don't know. 66 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 1: That's only because you know she said you said that 67 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: she looked refreshed to church, and refreshed could mean a 68 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: lot of things. It could mean that you know she 69 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: does have someone she's kicking it with, or she could 70 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: have just gotten some much needed rest alone and that's 71 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: why she looks refreshed. I really don't think it's another man, though. 72 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: I don't think that because she's too open and honest 73 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: with you about what she's doing and how she's feeling. 74 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: You know, she needs a mental break. She doesn't like you, 75 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: I mean, so, I don't know. I think anyway you 76 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 1: would have caught her if she was cheating. She said 77 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: you're not even her type, and she settled for you. 78 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,359 Speaker 1: That was mean and hurtful. She just sounds to me 79 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,039 Speaker 1: like she wants out, She wants to be by herself, 80 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,279 Speaker 1: she wants out of the marriage. I agree with you 81 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,719 Speaker 1: that she and really both of you could use some 82 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: counseling to figure this out. But I think it's all 83 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 1: too much, too little, too late here, because she sounds done. 84 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: I think you know you could sit her down and 85 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: talk try to salvage as much as this relationship, of 86 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 1: this relationship as you can. But with all her issues, 87 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: I don't see how any amount of talking or reasoning 88 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: with her is going to make her stay in this marriage. 89 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: She said she's unhappy and she I think she's ready 90 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 1: to move out and move on. And I think you're right. 91 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:09,920 Speaker 1: You and the kids deserve better, Steve. Uh you know, yeah, 92 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: look different here. First of all, I don't like your wife. 93 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,599 Speaker 1: I just want to open with that now. I know 94 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: it's two sides to every story, and we ain't heard 95 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: nothing but yours, and I'm pretty sure something else smoked 96 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 1: to it. But just based on what you said, y'all 97 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,280 Speaker 1: have four kids in a short period of time, stressful 98 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,159 Speaker 1: kids running around in the house. You got a good 99 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: job to care to family, so your wife could finish 100 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,599 Speaker 1: her degree. She got to degree, and then when your 101 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: youngest kid went to school, she started working. That's when 102 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 1: everything got worse. And it started with your sex like 103 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: started changing. She's sleep in the guest room because she said, 104 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 1: I snow it too loud. Oh okay, okay, you know 105 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: if I snow, Marger tapped me goes, Steve, turnover and 106 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 1: I turn over, it stopped. You know who, I got 107 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: it a no problem. This ain't every night, but you 108 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: know sometimes I got it no problems, you know. She 109 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: on the other hand, and went to the whole nother 110 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: damn room, uh, because she needs her rest. Then all 111 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:20,160 Speaker 1: of a sudden, everything start here taking her. You get 112 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 1: on my last damn Now you're snow and you looking 113 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: at me. What you're putting in the kids lunchbox? They 114 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: don't need that, you know, just everything, yeah, everything. So 115 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 1: you let her sleep, you know, get in to guest her. 116 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: She told me. Then she needed a damn mental health break. 117 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 1: When we come back, I'm gonna show you where all 118 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: this is head part all right, we'll have part two 119 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: of Steve's respond to twenty three minutes after the hour 120 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 1: of today's Strawberry Letters subject she must think I'm boo 121 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:53,840 Speaker 1: boo the fool. We'll get back into it right after this. 122 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: You're listening, all right, Steve, Come on, let's recap today's 123 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter subject. She must think I'm booboo the fool. 124 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:07,919 Speaker 1: Yes she do. Man, I don't like her, like I said, 125 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,720 Speaker 1: but y'all got married, had the kids got crazy. She 126 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: finished her degree, started working That's where ed started changing. 127 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: Sex life change. She said, you're snoring too loud. She 128 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: want to sleep in the other room because you know 129 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: it's just getting on her nerves, because she need her rest. 130 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: You let her do that. After that everything started I 131 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: taking so you let her sleep in the guest room. 132 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,920 Speaker 1: Then she came over, I need a mental health break 133 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: from me and the kids. And how understood you know? Then? 134 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: And then then she wanted to get a naw standing 135 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: guest room. Ain't enough now she coming house. She need 136 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: a hotel room for a weekend. Also, then you did that. 137 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: Then she did that more than once. She did it 138 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 1: several times before you put your foot down. And then 139 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,080 Speaker 1: you told her she had to go to counseling and 140 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: she was having that much trouble. Then she lashed out 141 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: and told you she wasn't happy and she never should 142 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: have settled for you. What Then she told you you 143 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 1: wasn't the type of man she usually dated. What? What 144 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 1: was all this dating? He was talking because we've been 145 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 1: married for you because we got all these kids now, 146 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 1: so who all these men you normally date? But then 147 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 1: she said that she respected you and knew you'd be 148 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: a good provider and the family man. Then you in 149 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: that conversation, but I ain't feel like arguing in front 150 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: of the kids, so I told her we'll talk later. 151 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 1: Then she told you after that heated as argued me 152 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,840 Speaker 1: that she started on purpose after you had put your 153 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 1: foot down. She needed another weekend. Then she told you 154 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,440 Speaker 1: she would talk to you when she came home Sunday, 155 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:59,559 Speaker 1: and she left the house with her suitcase. Now I 156 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: want she again. Your asses tied again, you two mentally 157 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: drained to stop her. Sunday morning, you and the kids 158 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 1: went to church and she was there in the front, 159 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: full of praise and worship and looking refreshing. Daddy that 160 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 1: go mama, Daddy, mama in the front because I go 161 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: up there, Your mamma don't want us up there. My 162 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:33,439 Speaker 1: children deserve better. Y'all ain't seen the sense that I'm 163 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 1: not boo boo the fool? How should I have the list? Well, 164 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,319 Speaker 1: let me ask you something the letter. She must think 165 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 1: I'm booboo fool. Then you ask at the end, I'm 166 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,199 Speaker 1: not boo boodo fool. So let me ask your question. 167 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,839 Speaker 1: Why do you think you boo booo fool? See? What 168 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: about this got you feeling like you a fool because 169 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:57,440 Speaker 1: you're thinking him she got somebody because every time she 170 00:09:57,559 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 1: need a break, she got to get a hotel room. 171 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,839 Speaker 1: First she was a guest room. Now it's her hotel room. 172 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 1: She hadn't done it more than once. Then you put 173 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,559 Speaker 1: your foot down. Then she come home, start another argument 174 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: and left again with suitcase. Now she in churches, hallelujah, 175 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:23,120 Speaker 1: looking refreshed. How you boo boodoo fool? Yeah, you and 176 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:26,960 Speaker 1: the kids deserve burd than that. Why you still wonta? 177 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 1: She don't want you. You ain't even the type of 178 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:37,199 Speaker 1: man that she normally date. And she settled for you, 179 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: but it looked like you're the one settled dog. You 180 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:45,160 Speaker 1: seem like a good guy. Now you might not be 181 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: all that in some area. I got that you probably not, 182 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: like I said this one side of the story. But 183 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,199 Speaker 1: you know, for her to try to strike you down 184 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: and tell you you ain't even her type it she 185 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: settled for you, don't. I don't see the water lineup 186 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,959 Speaker 1: of people that wanta. I would let her go on 187 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,719 Speaker 1: out there and see what this dating game is like. 188 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: I would let her go head on out there because 189 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: whoever she's sleeping with ain't gonna take her and them 190 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: folk kids, kids, they'll take her. She don't want the kids. 191 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:22,080 Speaker 1: But anybody's signing up for this. But ain't nobody doing that? Man? 192 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 1: I would let her go, Man, let her go on 193 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: out there and see what it's like. She already thinks 194 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,959 Speaker 1: she knows what it's like. But let her get on 195 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,839 Speaker 1: out there and see. Because who she thinks she got, 196 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: she probably don't have at all. And are you acting 197 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: like boo boodoo foo? I think you are? How should 198 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,200 Speaker 1: I handle this? I mean, bro a little. I'm look, 199 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 1: if you gotta leave me and go to the hotel 200 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:52,199 Speaker 1: every other weekend, I'm too much, then buy me. And 201 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 1: you already saying, bro, you too mentally drained to deal 202 00:11:54,840 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: with all this? Let her go? What? Yeah? How many? Four? 203 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 1: Four young kids? Yeah? Small kids running around the house. 204 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: That's a lot. I don't know what to tell you, man, 205 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: I'm not really feeling her at all. Yeah all right, Steve, 206 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: I mean you know that's how I feel about it. Yeah, 207 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:25,559 Speaker 1: me too. Y'all got any questions from me? Only so 208 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: you think she's cheating? You do think? But what I 209 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,120 Speaker 1: would do? What do you know what I would really do? 210 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 1: I'll put you on other foot Hey, you know you 211 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,200 Speaker 1: just had that mental breakdown and you've been not feeling good. 212 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:40,319 Speaker 1: I need a weekend too. I get my bag and 213 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 1: rolled on out. I'll be back for the weekend. I 214 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 1: promise you. When I come back, I'm gonna be refreshed. 215 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:53,400 Speaker 1: Come back up the driveway, skipping being church, that praising 216 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: the Lord. I'm talking about, the rushing, hopping around, that 217 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:05,320 Speaker 1: shirt alls fold, squatting down, just getting all right. Well, 218 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: we're gonna move on. Post your comments on today's Strawberry 219 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook, and 220 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: please check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. We'll 221 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,600 Speaker 1: come right back with more of the Steve Harvey Morning 222 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 1: Show right after this. You're listening to the Steve Harvey 223 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 1: Morning Show.