1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: One or two point seven kiss FM Rachel, good morning. 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:09,880 Speaker 1: You need some parents? Are I do the expert? Well, 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 1: there are no experts here, but Sysney is a parent. 4 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,079 Speaker 1: She's an active parent as we speak. Are you have 5 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 1: adult children right, I'm a young parent, but maybe I'll 6 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: be here when they I do. But okay, my son's 7 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: twenty one, my daughter's eighteen, almost nineteen, and I've been 8 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: a single parent since. They do have their dad in 9 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: their life, but he's not really involved. It was just 10 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,839 Speaker 1: like the weekend dad, and he would just you know, 11 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: give them a lot of love, whereas I had to 12 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:46,640 Speaker 1: go to parent meetings and deal with all the problems 13 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: from when they were little to getting into car accidents, 14 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: getting in trouble, and I've always handled everything alone. But now, um, 15 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,959 Speaker 1: they my daughter did not graduate high school. I am disappointed. 16 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: That is not what I wanted for my children. They 17 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: don't want to go to college. They just don't want 18 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: to listen to me. And you see that they're making 19 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: mistakes and where these decisions will have them like where 20 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 1: they're headed. And I'm like at the point where I 21 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: want to move away alone to avoid seeing this. Oh 22 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: my gosh, wow, this is MHM. You're at the point 23 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: where you want to just go away. Yes, I live 24 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: seven minutes from my job. I'm a kindergarten teacher, and 25 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: I literally lived seven minutes from work. I live in 26 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: a very safe area and one of the most dangerous 27 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 1: cities in our nation. But I'm looking for a room 28 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: for rent. I'm like, also, all of my things go 29 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: to a room. That way, they have to stand on 30 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: their own and looked after themselves. Otherwise they will never 31 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: learned responsibility. They will never learn to look after themselves. 32 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: But then I'm scared here for doing that. I feel 33 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 1: I hate myself for wanting to do things like that. 34 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: It's like at times I regret being a parent, and 35 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: it's awful. I'm so sorry. I can hear it in 36 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:26,959 Speaker 1: your voice, Rachel. Have have your your children heard what 37 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: we have just heard? Have you have you said vulnerably 38 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 1: like what you just said to us? Have they have 39 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: they heard this from you and and this emotion from you? Yes? 40 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: And I showed them my my bank account that I 41 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 1: have no money, and and they're not showing you respect. 42 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: Oh no, they cost me. Um, They're extremely disrespectful. Now, 43 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 1: I just feel abuse taking advantage of you are maintained 44 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: ADVANTA are Rachel. Who's the closest person to you in 45 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: your life? I have a sister, you know, I have 46 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: a very big family, but I pretty much grew up alone. 47 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: Like I was sent away from my parents when I 48 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: was eight, and I was supposed to be raised by 49 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: my siblings that they just took turns with me as 50 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: they got their lives together. And so at fourteen, I 51 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: was by myself, working, going to school, believe it or not. 52 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 1: And I've done it everything on my own. And my 53 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 1: kids I use myself as an example and they're like, 54 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: not everybody's like you, Um, you were. I don't know, 55 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: you know it which different times. I'm just trying to 56 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: think of I don't know that we can we can 57 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: get there in this moment, but I'm just trying to 58 00:03:54,400 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: figure out where your children take this turn to treat 59 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: the the woman that loves them the most, brought them 60 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: into this world like that. I mean, I'm there. I'm 61 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 1: trying to understand where that turn happened, because it's just 62 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: they don't and this this Turturday was my birthday. They're unaware, 63 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:25,600 Speaker 1: they're unaware of when my birthday is everything. Yeah, well Rachel, 64 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: would you hold on for a moment. Would I'd like 65 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: to try and find more help here and more understanding 66 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: for you, a more thoughtfulness for you, with someone that 67 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:42,279 Speaker 1: really has an expertise in understanding what's happening here, because 68 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: there's something, there's something fixable, but I'm I'm not I 69 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: don't have the skills to figure it out. But I 70 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: do know someone that can. Can you hold on for 71 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: a second, yes, thank you. Okay, we're not going anywhere. 72 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna put you on hold. Okay, I'm gonna 73 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 1: put you on hold. I just don't right, there's such 74 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: a slippery slope because on one hand, miga instinct is 75 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 1: it's just like, yeah, change the locks, be tough, you know, 76 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: show them tough love. But the guilt as a mother 77 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,160 Speaker 1: to do something like that, she doesn't want to put 78 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 1: them onto the streets. I don't even first of us, 79 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: don't know her birthday, don't know Mother's day, don't treat 80 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 1: it with any sort of respect. They take everything for granted. 81 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 1: And she's so at her at the end of the line, 82 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: and she doesn't even want to come back there. She 83 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,719 Speaker 1: wants to find her own place by herself alone. So 84 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: there's there's a there are things I feel like there's 85 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 1: there's someone that can help her fix that, or someone 86 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,599 Speaker 1: that has heard this before to kind of like reverse 87 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: what's been going on. You know, ABA's been going on 88 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: for a very long time. If you are listening to this, 89 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: we are going to find someone that is professionally can 90 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,159 Speaker 1: help Rachel at least talk through this to understand what's 91 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,120 Speaker 1: happening and start proactively making a change so that she 92 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,479 Speaker 1: gets the respect she deserves. I'm gonna come back in 93 00:05:59,520 --> 00:05:59,919 Speaker 1: one minute.