1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,560 Speaker 1: Well, right now, it is time for today's Strawberry Letter. 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: And if you need advice and relationship on dating, on work, 3 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 1: on sex, on parenting, and more, please submit your Strawberry 4 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter, 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: write Steve, yep Shirley, Buggle up and hold on tight. 6 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: Here it is Strawberry Letter. I'd subject my husband and 7 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 1: his groupies. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been married twenty two 8 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: years and we have three children. My husband and I 9 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: have a great marriage and he still takes me out 10 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,199 Speaker 1: on dates weekly. My husband and I are prominent business 11 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,879 Speaker 1: owners in our community, so whenever we go out in public, 12 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 1: I have a problem with women approaching my husband. My 13 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: husband hugs the women, chats with them, and has even 14 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,000 Speaker 1: welcome one woman to join us at our dinner table recently. 15 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: And yes, these women ignore my presence. I am too 16 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: successful to be checking women in public. I will not 17 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,160 Speaker 1: allow them to keep disrespecting me and my marriage. I 18 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 1: repeatedly speak to my husband about this matter. He always 19 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: says it's harmless and that he isn't doing anything to 20 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 1: encourage these women to act like to act this way 21 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 1: toward him. I know how women think, and yes, my 22 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 1: husband is fine and paid and he's always in a 23 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 1: tailored suit. I don't want to nag my husband, but 24 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,680 Speaker 1: I do want to resolve this issue. Do you think 25 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: that I am being overly sensitive? Steve? Since you are 26 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: a very high profile star, I need your advice. She 27 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: said it, she called it. So how should I handle this? No, 28 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: I definitely don't think you're being overly sensitive. I definitely 29 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,760 Speaker 1: don't think that you have every reason and every right 30 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: to feel the way you feel. I mean, no one 31 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 1: wants to be disrespected or feel ignored, you know, they don't. 32 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: No one deserves that. But your husband, I think, is 33 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: the one that should fix this problem. I mean, all 34 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: this hugging and you know, chopping it up with these 35 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: women in front of you and welcoming them over to 36 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: the table and all that that kind of stuff needs 37 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 1: to stop. I think he's a little overly friendly because 38 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: it makes you feel some kind of way. I mean, 39 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: he can shake their hands, you know, or something like that, 40 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: or you know, just respectfully say I'm with my wife, 41 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 1: this is me time, right now, this is our time, 42 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: right now, we're on a date. He can keep it 43 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: professional with them and very respectful. He says it's harmless, 44 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 1: but it's not harmless to you, and that's what he 45 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: needs to understand. He needs to understand it's about you 46 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 1: and how you feel, because you should be his priority 47 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: number one in his life, not these women. So I 48 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: would have to say, you know, you need to defer 49 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,480 Speaker 1: to your husband. I'd have one more conversation with him, 50 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: letting him know how you really feel, and hopefully, hopefully 51 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: that will shut it down. Steve, since you're a high 52 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: profile star, very high profile star, you've been through this, 53 00:02:55,680 --> 00:03:01,080 Speaker 1: I'm sure of course. Of course. Well, look, taking a 54 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: step and show you something. First of all, you say 55 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: that your husband and our prominent business owners in our community. 56 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: So whenever we go out in public, I have a 57 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: problem with women approaching my husband. My husband hugs and 58 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,239 Speaker 1: women chats with him, and it's even welcome one woman 59 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: to join us at identitable recently and yes, these women 60 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: ignore my presence. Okay, Now, first thing I need to 61 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,119 Speaker 1: know us what business do you all have in what 62 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: type of community that makes y'all that prominent? Where here 63 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 1: in the hug and kissing baby business? Now? Is he 64 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: a politician? Think? Does he own do y'all own the 65 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: only grocery store in town. Why he's so damn famous, y'all? 66 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 1: The Jefferson, y'all got a stranger cleaners? What is y'all 67 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: I did? Because y'all making best red velvet cake, y'all 68 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: got a bakery? What business did he have that makes 69 00:03:56,160 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: y'all so damn prominent that he gots to be chimmy 70 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: with all the damn women. Well, let me go and 71 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 1: explain something to you. Men have much bigger egos than women. 72 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: Women have stress points that they have to deal with 73 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: under pressure of looking good for other women. What magazines 74 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: have done to women over the years, and then what 75 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,720 Speaker 1: some men expected women. So women have a hard aware 76 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: of it. But don't you think for one minute that 77 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,920 Speaker 1: men don't have egos. Because he got gone. He loves 78 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: the popularity, Oh, mister Johnson, Oh mister wallings Worth, Oh 79 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:43,320 Speaker 1: mister mister miles Worth. Because c then it gives him 80 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: a sense of accomplishment. How y'all doing a hug and 81 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: all the women, and the women take advantage of this, 82 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: and then he's even gone so far as invite one 83 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: to your table. That is what really ticked you off. 84 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,479 Speaker 1: But not only do they get at the table, they 85 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,479 Speaker 1: ignore you and play you short. They've done it to Marjorie. 86 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: I can't count the times when some most women are 87 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 1: really respectful though. Hey Marjorie, how are you doing? Hey Steve, 88 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,279 Speaker 1: y'all look so beautiful, Agather, that's the majority of people. 89 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: Every now and then you'll get some woman. I don't 90 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 1: want to. I won't jest you. I don't want her 91 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 1: in my picture. Well you're not getting no, damn, because 92 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: I don't know what you think I'm fit to do. 93 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: I can't play my girls short because you're having this 94 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: egotistical moment. But now your husband has to start taking 95 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: you into consideration and how this must make you feel. 96 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 1: He must at least not allow the women in the 97 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: community to disrespect you as his wife. You know, this 98 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: ego thing, the attention. Hear what you need to do 99 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,359 Speaker 1: the next woman that comes sit down at the table 100 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 1: act like you ain't you gotta make an example out 101 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: of her? Where it got to get round? You got 102 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:07,600 Speaker 1: how far he goes on hugging me if you want 103 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:12,359 Speaker 1: to Wow, No, no, go ahead, hug me if you 104 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 1: want to. But Steve, I've never seen you do anything 105 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 1: like I mean I've always seen you, like be respectful 106 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: to the to the person that wants to take the picture, 107 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 1: but you would never hug them like that. I've never 108 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:28,480 Speaker 1: seen you do that. Nothing to get all that, I've 109 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 1: never seen you do that. No, no, see no, because 110 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:34,800 Speaker 1: she first see, I got a leave with her, make 111 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: a life with her. I got you on a picture. 112 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 1: But if you can be respectful towards both of us, 113 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 1: be more than happy to give you the picture. If 114 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: you shade my girl in any way, and I can't, 115 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 1: I can't do nothing for you. All right, We're gonna 116 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 1: have part two of this letter, Steve's response coming up, 117 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 1: the subject my husband and his groupies right after this 118 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:58,599 Speaker 1: you're listening to. Come on, Steve, let's get to part 119 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: two of your response to Strawberry letter. My husband and 120 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 1: his groupies. She's been married twenty two years. Husband's a 121 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 1: good man. They got some business that she won't tell 122 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: us what it is that makes them prominent in the community. 123 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: He wear tailor suit I've been trying to guess what 124 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 1: it is. I thought maybe he was a politician, because 125 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: they're in the hug mama, kissing baby business. Maybe they 126 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: only own the only grocery stole in something. I think 127 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: it's a small town. Yeah, maybe maybe they got three 128 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: or four cleaners down them pastry shop. But whenever they 129 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: see him they want to hug him, and he hugging 130 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,680 Speaker 1: them back. How y'all doing? What's up, ladies? How y'all doing? Oh? 131 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: They fall forward to and they ignore you. Now a 132 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: couple of reasons why you might get played show. All right, 133 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:56,400 Speaker 1: come on, let's go. Women Try who they think they 134 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: can get away with it with. Women, Try who they 135 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 1: think they can get away with it with. So now 136 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 1: why are they trying you? Well, let's go over a 137 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 1: couple of things that could possibly be happening him. Could 138 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 1: it be that number one, they think because you ain't 139 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: saying nothing, you ain't gonna say something. Could it be that, oh, 140 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: here's the ugly one. Could it be that they have 141 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: looked at you and decided, oh, that's what he liked. Well, 142 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: hell let me holiday, I'm gonna let that one sink in. 143 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: So now here they come because they think they can 144 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:40,320 Speaker 1: because he's allowing it. And number two, you ain't checking nobody. 145 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 1: And then number three, I don't know what outfit you 146 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 1: have on when he go out in them? Taylor suits, 147 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 1: But you need to step up. You get your shoh 148 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:53,360 Speaker 1: hand on FICTI where them help us? No, putt on them, 149 00:08:54,320 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: let them see it, put them let them see. Ain't 150 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 1: got to be shame. And then if all fails, you 151 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: got to make an example out of one of them 152 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 1: and drag her. Drop her ass right there at the table, 153 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: take her head and slam it down into the mask 154 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: for do you know how that gets your attention when 155 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: your head hit a question? I've had this argument at 156 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 1: my house when you when you take pictures as a celebrity, 157 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 1: what are you supposed to put your hand at when 158 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: you take the wide over her shoulder, fingers showing Yeah, okay, 159 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: because I have all my pictures on the show, I 160 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,199 Speaker 1: have had my hand around like a woman's waist. That 161 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 1: has created a big Why you got your hand out away? 162 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 1: But he's stupid. But before we went to break, I 163 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: told you I've never seen you do anything disrespectful like 164 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: this when the women come up to you. I've just 165 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,480 Speaker 1: never seen it. You always have someone else to take 166 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:59,319 Speaker 1: the picture with you. You never like hug them anything. 167 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,520 Speaker 1: My hand in front and folded. Yeah you know you 168 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: can hug me if that's what you want to do. 169 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: But we're not fitting being here loving on each other. Now, 170 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,839 Speaker 1: this ain't fitting to be on team. It's like it's 171 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 1: like women who come on my show. I put my 172 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: arm around it when we take the picture with the panel. 173 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 1: But if you look in my hands behind him, my 174 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 1: fingers is widespread open. You can see it on most 175 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,679 Speaker 1: camera shots. You can see my hands. What is your 176 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,680 Speaker 1: hand doing the middle of the base. I didn't know 177 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,079 Speaker 1: it was an issue. I just didn't. I just took pictures. 178 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,959 Speaker 1: So now I'm learning that. Like if you take a 179 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 1: picture with a man and his wife and she in 180 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: the middle, make sure your hand is on his shoulder 181 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 1: so he knows the wife. Always ain't nothing but the 182 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 1: wife in the middle, and I put my hand around him. 183 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 1: I'll never touch his man's right yea, though you've done 184 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 1: that too, Nah, it's been I've always touched the guy's shoulder. 185 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:54,920 Speaker 1: I know you don't have any mentors. Do you have 186 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,079 Speaker 1: somebody you can run this? I'm good. I just ran 187 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:04,079 Speaker 1: right here, Junior, I just right here, Junior, dude, this 188 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: years late. But the other problem is in Junior got 189 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 1: a problem with you. Everything exactly that, Junior. He never 190 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: would have brought this up. Oh oh, I can't shoot. 191 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: He say, how flat is your stomach? Junior? Dare square? OK? 192 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: So bottom line Steve, and it's a letter. Well, the 193 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: bottom line is he has to you have to make 194 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,199 Speaker 1: him aware. And now he said, oh, it's nothing, but 195 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 1: this always nothing is affecting you. It's affecting you, so 196 00:11:55,800 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: it is something. And then secondly, I mean, come on, dude, 197 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 1: you got that that much of all ego where you 198 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 1: just can't just for a little while ago. Hey look, ladies, 199 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: I'm with my wife. You're having a good time. I 200 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:18,080 Speaker 1: appreciate y'all. No, man, you invite some moments. You gotta 201 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: be nuts. That's what date night is for the two 202 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 1: of y'all. Yes, yeah, you gotta say something. Yeah, we 203 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 1: trying to have dinner. Yeah, man, there's a way you 204 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,680 Speaker 1: can say it. Definitely all right, Steve, we get it. 205 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 1: Poster comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM 206 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 1: and on Instagram and Facebook. Don't forget to check out 207 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:47,319 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to