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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My mother in law made an album of me giving

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Speaker 3: birth without my permission.

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Speaker 4: That's a crazy photo album for sure.

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Speaker 3: Hello. Been having major issues with mother in law for

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Speaker 3: a while now, but they have definitely ramped up ever

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Speaker 3: since I gave birth to our first child. Did By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Mama Drama Lama fifteen and

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Speaker 3: if you want some of your own stories, go to

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Speaker 3: our slash Okay Storytime. Separate it. So, right after I'd

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Speaker 3: given birth, my husband and my mother were in the room.

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Speaker 3: My mom took some photos of me and are beautiful

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Speaker 3: little baby girl. While we were doing skin to skin.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't exactly paying much attention to anything else, but

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Speaker 3: my front airbags were fully out and a few of

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Speaker 3: the phoe my mom snapped featured nips. Not a big

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Speaker 3: deal at all. I trust my mother and knew she

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Speaker 3: would either delete them or just never show them to anyone.

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Speaker 3: I asked her to send them to me and to

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Speaker 3: my husband as well. My husband then sent these photos

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Speaker 3: to the family group chat we have with mother in law,

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Speaker 3: sister in law, one, sister in law, two, brother in

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Speaker 3: law and brother in law too. He act included a

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Speaker 3: couple photos that featured nipsu dude, dude, come on, duo,

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Speaker 3: do better.

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Speaker 2: Ah.

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Speaker 3: He was mortified and apologized profusely to me, then immediately

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Speaker 3: demanded that his family delete them. They all texted back,

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Speaker 3: including mother in law, saying no problem and that of

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Speaker 3: course they would delete them right away. Not something I

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Speaker 3: particularly wanted them to see. But also, it's just the nips.

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Speaker 3: What's a few nip slips between family? Lol? Exact?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, unacceptable.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, A month after I'd given birth, it was Mother's

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Speaker 3: Day and we were at mother in law's house. All

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Speaker 3: of a sudden, mother in law comes up to me

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Speaker 3: all excited and in a high pitched baby talk voice,

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Speaker 3: she tells me I have something to show you.

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Speaker 2: Is it my nips?

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Speaker 3: Is it manips? She leads me into the nursery that

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Speaker 3: she put together at her house, not something we asked

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Speaker 3: her to do, nor did she ask us if she could.

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Speaker 3: She sits me down in the rocking chair and hands

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Speaker 3: me a photo album.

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Speaker 2: Ah, she was trying to be sweet.

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Speaker 3: I'm immediately confused and intrigued. I assume it must be

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Speaker 3: something from when dear husband was a baby. As our

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Speaker 3: baby was only a month old and barely had any

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Speaker 3: photos taken of her, let alone enough for an album.

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Speaker 3: I open it up and immediately my jaw hits the

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Speaker 3: floor as I see all of my birthing photos in

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Speaker 3: the small slots of the album. No nip photos at

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Speaker 3: least so far. There were also hard copies of my

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Speaker 3: ultrasound photos from across my pregnancy, which I wasn't even

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Speaker 3: aware she had. The album also contained photos of me

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Speaker 3: holding the baby, my husband holding the baby, several photos

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Speaker 3: of mother in law holding her, and pictures of the

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Speaker 3: nursery at mother in law's house. Mother in law was

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Speaker 3: looking at me expectantly, and about ten other members from

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Speaker 3: her side the family were roaming around, some taking a

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Speaker 3: look too. I have since grown a much shinier spine,

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Speaker 3: but at the time I still wanted to keep the

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Speaker 3: peace with mother in law and didn't want to upset

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Speaker 3: or embarrass her by saying I didn't like it. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: in the moment, I wasn't even sure how I actually

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Speaker 3: felt about it or how to put the feeling into words,

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Speaker 3: but it definitely made me uncomfortable. Flashed forward a year,

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Speaker 3: and so much has changed between my relationship with mother

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Speaker 3: in law as well with her two daughters and their husbands.

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Speaker 3: In this time, I have come to believe that mother

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Speaker 3: in law was never naive, forgetful, or oblivious like so

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Speaker 3: many people had told me over the twelve years I've

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Speaker 3: known her. I used to think she meant well even

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Speaker 3: in the things she did, even if the thing she

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Speaker 3: did rubbed me the wrong way. But every time I'd

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Speaker 3: bring it up, her family would just brush me off

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Speaker 3: and say things like, oh, that's just too she is

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Speaker 3: not good enough.

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Speaker 2: It just feels like an invasion it does of life.

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Speaker 3: I think I think that if you had if those

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Speaker 3: were her pictures, it'd be a little bit different, or

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Speaker 3: if she had at least asked for permission.

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Speaker 4: But it could be coming from the right place maybe,

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Speaker 4: But it seems like, oh you thought that originally, but

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Speaker 4: now as proof that maybe that.

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Speaker 3: Is not true. Import of me still feels like it's sweet.

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Speaker 5: I think I think there's a part of that sweet.

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Speaker 6: But yeah, though I think.

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Speaker 3: That's why Ope wasn't like didn't feel that she could

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Speaker 3: say anything because it is not outright like bad, but

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Speaker 3: still made her uncomfortable, which is valid, I think because

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Speaker 3: it is a very even if it's not like necessarily

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Speaker 3: her like unclothed, Uh, it's still her in a very

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Speaker 3: vulnerable position. Yea, Hey, you know what?

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Speaker 5: Consent is cool and sexy.

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Speaker 3: They literally could have just been as easy like, hey,

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Speaker 3: I would love to make you a photo album of

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Speaker 3: these photos. Is that okay?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're just like not giving it to you like

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Speaker 2: in a group setting, or.

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Speaker 5: If it was a photo album, like hey, I want

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Speaker 5: to make a photo album for you and your family,

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Speaker 5: and it's very heartfelt.

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Speaker 2: What photos do you.

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Speaker 6: Want to be? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Are there any photos?

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Speaker 2: Give me the thumbs up?

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Speaker 3: Thumbs down? Yeah, what are you feeling? It didn't take

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Speaker 3: long after the birth of my daughter for me to

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Speaker 3: see mother in law for who she really is, which,

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Speaker 3: in my opinion, is a covert, self absorbed person. But

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Speaker 3: that's a story for another time. My seventeen year old

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Speaker 3: brother in law lived at home with mother in law,

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Speaker 3: and once I became closer to him and his girlfriend,

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Speaker 3: they open up to me. They told me about all

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Speaker 3: the nasty things mother in law has been saying about me,

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Speaker 3: including about the photo album. So my mom isn't the

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Speaker 3: best photograph and she took many photos of me from

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Speaker 3: very unfortunate and low angles with my newborn baby on

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Speaker 3: my chest and double chins galore. Not something I'm all

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Speaker 3: that bothered by if these photos are only being shared

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Speaker 3: with close family and friends. But I learned from brother

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Speaker 3: in law and his girlfriend that mother in law was

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Speaker 3: showing the album to anyone and everyone who came to

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Speaker 3: her house, even if they didn't know me. She would

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Speaker 3: often say things like hopefully the baby doesn't inherit all

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Speaker 3: these chins, or oof, that's really not a great angle,

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Speaker 3: is it?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Shut up? Shut up.

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Speaker 3: So now we've gone very far from good intentions too.

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Speaker 3: She knows that these are photos that don't portray her

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Speaker 3: daughter in law in a good light, and is now

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Speaker 3: actively making fun of her.

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Speaker 2: They're literally photos of you delivering a baby, just.

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Speaker 3: Delivered a baby. She doesn't have to look like a

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Speaker 3: freaking supermodel because she's a superhero.

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Speaker 2: Just delivered a baby, Like who are you?

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Speaker 3: Oh, and I remember the nipple photos I mentioned earlier,

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Speaker 3: the ones everyone including mother in law promised they had deleted.

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Speaker 3: Turns out mother in law hadn't deleted them shocker, at

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Speaker 3: least not before she had a chance to print them off.

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Speaker 3: At the back of the album there was a Walmart

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Speaker 3: photoholder that had extra pictures in it, including those pictures

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Speaker 3: photos mother in law had promised dear husband and me

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Speaker 3: she had deleted. Surely she wasn't showing those to just

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Speaker 3: anyone though, right? Wrong? Yeah, she sucks.

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Speaker 2: This person needs to like go to the.

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Speaker 4: Moon right now.

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Speaker 3: What I think needs to happen, Just go away. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: obviously the mother in law is at fault here, but

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Speaker 3: Opie's husband needs to do some damage control because even

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Speaker 3: though it wasn't intentional, he still caused those to an extent.

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Speaker 3: I mean, he shared photos of Ope in like not

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Speaker 3: a good light or not a good light, but you know,

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Speaker 3: in vulnerable state, unclothes. And he needs to go talk

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Speaker 3: to his mom and say, hey, stop it, give me

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Speaker 3: the album. I'm taking it, and you don't get those

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Speaker 3: pictures and I'm gonna watch you delete them all. Like,

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Speaker 3: he needs to set some ground rules right now, agreed.

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Speaker 3: Brother in law and his girlfriend told me that anyone

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Speaker 3: who had seen the album had been shown the photos

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Speaker 3: in the Walmart album too. First of all, the audacity,

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Speaker 3: who the heck made a makes a photo album with

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Speaker 3: such intimate photos without first asking the people in them

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Speaker 3: if that's all right? And who in their right mind

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Speaker 3: would make an album like that keep it at their

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Speaker 3: house and not give it to the new parents.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell you who.

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Speaker 4: Someone who's obsessed with now the fact that they're a grandma.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just like, I don't care about my daughter

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Speaker 3: in law at all, because baby.

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Speaker 4: It's my it's my grandmother in law album, and you

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Speaker 4: can't take.

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Speaker 3: It from me.

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Speaker 2: No, it's mine.

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Speaker 3: But there is an update. But man, oh man, every

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Speaker 3: day loser says, Okay, now I can sympathize with Opie.

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Speaker 3: Mother in law took it too far. That's the thing.

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Speaker 3: Opie had this kind of gut feeling of being uncomfortable

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Speaker 3: when given that photo album, which like just first first

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Speaker 3: glance doesn't seem that nefarious. Yeah, but clearly was kind

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Speaker 3: of the first uh first crossing up the line.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's it definitely. The vibe is now like,

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Speaker 4: y you are the vehicle. Look at this album I

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Speaker 4: made of the vehicle that birthed my grandchild.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and also insulting you. Yeah, well she shows this album.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just yeah, it's it's not it's not even

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Speaker 2: about you. She doesn't care about you.

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Speaker 4: She just cares that now she has a grand baby

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Speaker 4: that's related to her through via her son.

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Speaker 3: Yep, but there is an update.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 3: Sister in law sent photos and info info from daycare

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Speaker 3: of our DDY out to the rest of the in

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Speaker 3: laws without our consent. She works at the daycare.

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Speaker 2: Get her fired for that? Are you serious?

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Speaker 3: He's that's scotta BILLI.

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Speaker 2: Getter fired for them?

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Speaker 1: Really?

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Speaker 2: That's insane?

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Speaker 3: Hi, everyone, I am struggling to find the right way

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Speaker 3: to explain my perception of sister in law's actions to

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Speaker 3: dear husband and wondering if anyone else would feel the

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Speaker 3: same way I do about what's happened. Some backstory for context.

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Speaker 3: About six months ago, my relationship with the majority of

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Speaker 3: my husband's side of the family took a big nose

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Speaker 3: dive when I decided to start standing up for myself

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Speaker 3: and setting boundaries for our family. I thirty used to

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Speaker 3: have a pretty good relationship with sister in law twenty

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Speaker 3: eight until I set some harm boundaries with mother in

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Speaker 3: law a few months ago and addressed some issues I

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Speaker 3: was having with her. These issues stemmed from other family

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Speaker 3: members telling me some rather nasty things sister in law

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Speaker 3: had been saying about me. Sister in law took it

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Speaker 3: upon herself to tell my dear husband how wrong I

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Speaker 3: was for being so mean to mother in law. The

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Speaker 3: text I sent mother in law addressing the issues was

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Speaker 3: blunt and clearly showed that I was kind of angry,

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Speaker 3: but in my opinion, it wasn't mean. It just maybe

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Speaker 3: aggressive anyway. Sister in law also told dear husband at

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Speaker 3: this time that he needed to keep his wife slash

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Speaker 3: house in check.

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Speaker 2: Your house is out of order. What are you? A

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Speaker 2: Game of Thrones characters?

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Speaker 3: Wife in line, she's an adult.

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Speaker 2: Again, just an object, a vehicle, Yeah, creature.

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Speaker 3: She is the wife, and she's the mother of this

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Speaker 3: child that we want, you know, in our lives. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we don't care about your wife at all. She said

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Speaker 3: I was out to get mother in law for no reason,

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Speaker 3: and even suggested that they all my in laws get

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Speaker 3: together to hold some sort of intervention.

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Speaker 4: For me, it's just an intervention where they take you

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Speaker 4: out back and bury you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, nobody wants.

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Speaker 3: You it's the intervention. Yeah, you're teoan. I hope he's like,

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Speaker 3: I'm enforcing boundaries because you keep sharing intimate pictures of

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Speaker 3: me and they're like, well, we want to do that.

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Speaker 4: And you can't say now the intervention is the bolt

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Speaker 4: action sniper rifle from the game Modern Warfare? Are you?

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Speaker 3: She didn't explain what she meant by needing an intervention.

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Speaker 3: I didn't get him, but from what I've gathered since then,

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Speaker 3: she either meant they needed to hold an intervention because

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Speaker 3: I'm in denial about having PbD and that's why I'm

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Speaker 3: so upset with mother in law, or it was meant

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Speaker 3: as them sitting me down and telling me how wrong

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Speaker 3: I am for thinking mother in law would ever do

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Speaker 3: anything hurtful or disrespectful towards me. Needless to say, no

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Speaker 3: intervention was ever conducted for me, literally WTF. Since then,

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Speaker 3: we have been pretty low contact with your husband's side

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Speaker 3: of the family, and I have removed them from all

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Speaker 3: social media. One of my biggest issues with mother in

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Speaker 3: law was that she would watch my social media posts

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Speaker 3: and make rude remarks about things she felt we weren't

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Speaker 3: doing right when it came to taking care of our

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Speaker 3: daughter like letting her walk around outside in tall grasp

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Speaker 3: without shoes. No, no heavy.

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Speaker 2: Great snakes, shrimp on a stick.

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Speaker 3: Cut to the present day, Our DD has just started

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Speaker 3: daycare at the facility where sister in law works. Honest,

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Speaker 3: maybe maybe we should look into a different daycare.

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Speaker 4: Perhaps, Yeah, unless unless you're getting the my sister in

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Speaker 4: law is committing crimes discount the zero dollars and zero sense, then.

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Speaker 3: Ain't worth it. Sister in law is in a different

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Speaker 3: room than DD, but she might see her briefly throughout

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Speaker 3: the day or pop in to visit. Sister in law

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Speaker 3: seeing d D every day isn't something I'm super fond of,

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Speaker 3: given the current state of our relationship, but that's more

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Speaker 3: my own problem than anything. The daycare uses an app

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Speaker 3: to connect with families, sending us updates throughout the day

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Speaker 3: with specific details such as what time DED was dropped off,

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Speaker 3: slash picked up, how much she ate when she had

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Speaker 3: a diaper change, and the contents of the diaper. They

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Speaker 3: also send photos of d D participating in different activities.

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Speaker 3: The information about DD is shared through this app only

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Speaker 3: with dear husband and me. If we wanted to add

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Speaker 3: others and give them access, we could, but we have

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Speaker 3: chosen not to. On her first day of daycare, we

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Speaker 3: sent a photo of d D to the family group

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00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,880
Speaker 3: chat that we have with the in laws. During Deete's

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Speaker 3: first day, sister in law took some photos of her

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00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,480
Speaker 3: and texted them directly to dear husband, not to me,

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Speaker 3: and not through the app either, since she is not

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00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,560
Speaker 3: the teacher in Dede's room. Dear husband told sister in

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Speaker 3: law that moving forward, she needed to send photos to

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Speaker 3: both of us and not just him. After two days

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Speaker 3: of DEDI attending daycare, I was informed by our nephew's

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00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,800
Speaker 3: girlfriend that sister in law has been sending screenshots from

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Speaker 3: the app, including all the info and photos that only

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00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,960
Speaker 3: dear husband and I were supposed to receive, to the

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00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,520
Speaker 3: rest of their family in a separate group chat that

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Speaker 3: dear husband and I were not part of. Good I

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Speaker 3: mean props to the nephew's girlfriend for letting you know, girlfriend,

299
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Speaker 3: but you need to go to the You need to

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Speaker 3: go to the daycare center and be like, hey, uh,

301
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Speaker 3: this should not be happening. We were told that this

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00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,200
Speaker 3: was private information that was only going to us, and

303
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,280
Speaker 3: we've chosen not to share it with anyone, so it

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00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:01,120
Speaker 3: shouldn't be shared.

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Speaker 4: Yes, sister in law's gonna have to learn that your

306
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,520
Speaker 4: actions have consequences and.

307
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Speaker 3: She better be freaking fired. Man.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because if it starts there, but what happens when

309
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Speaker 4: she's leaking other information about it? You know, it's just

310
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Speaker 4: she's gotta learn you can't do that.

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Speaker 2: Yep.

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00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:21,160
Speaker 3: I was furious. Dear husband immediately called sister in law

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Speaker 3: to confront her, and she claims she hadn't meant too

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00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,080
Speaker 3: upset us and hadn't thought anything of it. She said

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Speaker 3: she didn't intentionally do it behind our backs and she

316
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,680
Speaker 3: just didn't think about it. As Didi's aunt, she thought

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00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,640
Speaker 3: it wasn't a big deal and assumed that since I

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00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,720
Speaker 3: had deleted all the family on social media, we wouldn't

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Speaker 3: want to be included in family group chats. Either you're

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00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:46,840
Speaker 3: just either like stupid or you're you're you're going behind

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Speaker 3: their backs on purpose. And I feel like it's the second.

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Speaker 2: One, definitely, definitely.

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Speaker 3: Even the ones that pertain to our daughter. To me,

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Speaker 3: it seems obvious that sister in law knew she shouldn't

325
00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:01,240
Speaker 3: have shared that information, especially without our knowledge or consent.

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Speaker 3: I believe she intentionally chose to send the info and

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Speaker 3: exclude us from the group chat so that we wouldn't

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Speaker 3: know she had done it. It's exactly what she's doing.

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00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,320
Speaker 3: Her lack of accountability when confronted also leads me to

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00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,600
Speaker 3: believe that she doesn't really care for upset. She's just

331
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:21,280
Speaker 3: upset that we found out. Am I crazy for thinking

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00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,600
Speaker 3: there's no way she did this innocently? I have also

333
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,760
Speaker 3: contacted her boss to discuss this matter.

334
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:26,880
Speaker 2: Yes, I don't.

335
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:32,120
Speaker 3: I don't think she did it innocently. I think given

336
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,720
Speaker 3: that we know, you know, given the lead up to

337
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,480
Speaker 3: this point where the sister in law is actively kind

338
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,240
Speaker 3: of I think this is the same sister in law.

339
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,920
Speaker 3: I know there's two, but if it is the same

340
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:45,080
Speaker 3: sister in law, she's been talking crap about you for

341
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:48,680
Speaker 3: a while and now she's taking pictures and posting them

342
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,400
Speaker 3: like it's not even taking pictures that the kid is

343
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Speaker 3: like taking screenshots.

344
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Speaker 5: Seems like the apple does not fall far from the

345
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:55,520
Speaker 5: tree here.

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Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, there's just fundamentally no respect for your

347
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:00,960
Speaker 4: back her privacy there.

348
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,520
Speaker 3: Like it would still be super wrong if she was

349
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:07,720
Speaker 3: taking pictures of this kid without the parents' consent, but

350
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,119
Speaker 3: it would make a little bit more sense to me

351
00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:17,680
Speaker 3: than taking screenshots of supposedly a private you know, private account, right,

352
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,440
Speaker 3: like an in app, Yeah, in app thing that's supposed

353
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 3: to only be for the parents, Like, that's totally different.

354
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, and the daycare is then gonna go Okay, So

355
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,800
Speaker 4: what happens if you're sending pictures of other kids to

356
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,040
Speaker 4: group chats that we don't know anything about, Like, what

357
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,200
Speaker 4: what are we doing here? You can no longer be trusted.

358
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,280
Speaker 4: You're losing your job. Go find another one.

359
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 3: They better do.

360
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,679
Speaker 2: And that's why I have to learn.

361
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then she's gonna be like, oh, it's time.

362
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,560
Speaker 3: Pat's fault. She got me fired from my job. I

363
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 3: was just trying to share pictures of my knees. I

364
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,640
Speaker 3: just love her soul so much.

365
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,080
Speaker 2: I was at pictures of kniees.

366
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,880
Speaker 4: I have an okay story time where I almost got

367
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 4: fired from a job for for video recording.

368
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,480
Speaker 2: I'll get into that later.

369
00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,320
Speaker 3: Well, we'll find out more about that after this story.

370
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,159
Speaker 3: Update two, Hello again, everyone, I want to update you

371
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,320
Speaker 3: on the situation I described in my previous post, and

372
00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:10,520
Speaker 3: I'm seeking advice on how to deal with what has

373
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:14,359
Speaker 3: resulted from all of it. Ultimately, Sister in law was

374
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 3: suspended for two days from work good after I had

375
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:22,280
Speaker 3: my conversation with her boss. Since then, my husband's other

376
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,879
Speaker 3: sister's husband, brother in law two forty two, has reached

377
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,080
Speaker 3: out to my husband to let him know that everyone

378
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,199
Speaker 3: is taking a step away from us because of what

379
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,040
Speaker 3: I've done by coming after sister in law and her job.

380
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,679
Speaker 3: Is not what family does to each other. Also, family

381
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:42,040
Speaker 3: doesn't freaking share inappropriate pictures without consent.

382
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:47,880
Speaker 4: But if y'all have no respect for me, why would

383
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,000
Speaker 4: I have respect for you keeping a job you shouldn't

384
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,159
Speaker 4: have because you're doing one of the things you should

385
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:52,680
Speaker 4: never do.

386
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,680
Speaker 3: Literally the rules. You are not following the rules. It's

387
00:18:55,680 --> 00:19:01,360
Speaker 3: not my fault. Man, can't blame me for all your problems.

388
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 4: Okay, FAFO f round find out there we go.

389
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 3: So true. I don't know why I thought that was

390
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 3: some sort of like financial thing. I was like, what

391
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,320
Speaker 3: have you invested in your FAFO fund? Right? Doesn't that

392
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,080
Speaker 3: sound like something that would be existing.

393
00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 2: I think everyone should have a FAFO fund.

394
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,439
Speaker 3: Everyone should. He told my husband that he believes this

395
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 3: is all one hundred percent my fault and that I'm

396
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 3: either mentally ill or extremely vile and victim vindictive person

397
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:34,159
Speaker 3: for contacting sister in law's boss, and that he's not

398
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,439
Speaker 3: sure which is worse, but either way, it's something I

399
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,960
Speaker 3: can never come back from. He said that I have

400
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,719
Speaker 3: burned any bridges I have left with them, and that

401
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 3: he sister in law, brother in law, sister in law

402
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 3: to mother in law, and our niece twelve and nephew ten,

403
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,920
Speaker 3: we're all now hurting because of my actions? Were they

404
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:55,360
Speaker 3: all hurting because of your actions? I mean, you're telling

405
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,639
Speaker 3: me the niece is hurting too. You're telling me the brother,

406
00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 3: the other brother in law and sister in law are

407
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 3: hurting from from the sister in law being suspended for

408
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 3: two days for doing something that she's not supposed to

409
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,960
Speaker 3: be doing at work. And that's all a peace fault.

410
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 4: Maybe it's instead of a bad thing, Maybe it's a

411
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,880
Speaker 4: wake up call where sister in law goes, Oh, I

412
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,600
Speaker 4: can't just do whatever I want whenever I feel.

413
00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:20,639
Speaker 3: Like, oh, those were the rules that I said I

414
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,639
Speaker 3: would follow when I got this job.

415
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 2: Shocking.

416
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

417
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,960
Speaker 7: Oh, I can't be sending pictures of the children I

418
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 7: work with the children and people outside of the enclosed

419
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 7: ecosystem that we have in the app.

420
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 4: Oh oh, people take the privacy of children very seriously

421
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:41,520
Speaker 4: at my job.

422
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,640
Speaker 2: Crazy insane, you fool, you fool.

423
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 3: No, I wouldn't want to be around these these family

424
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 3: members either, honestly, because if this is how they're acting

425
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 3: to you, trying to set boundaries.

426
00:20:55,359 --> 00:21:00,640
Speaker 2: Then they freaking shock true true, true, more trueness has

427
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 2: never been spoken before.

428
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 3: I'm just a truther man. He said that they felt

429
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:08,080
Speaker 3: bad for my husband and know that he's innocent and

430
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 3: hasn't done anything wrong. He said they love him and

431
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,439
Speaker 3: that he will always have a place to stay at

432
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,639
Speaker 3: their home if you ever need some time away, but

433
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,920
Speaker 3: that I am no longer welcome. And this is where

434
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 3: this is where again the husband, I mean, maybe he yes, yes,

435
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,200
Speaker 3: maybe he is stepping in and we're just not getting

436
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 3: that sat side of the story doesn't sound like it.

437
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:30,120
Speaker 3: But dude, like, what like, step up for your partner,

438
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 3: stand up to your family, because it seems like, oh,

439
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 3: he is doing all of the work of setting up

440
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,239
Speaker 3: these boundaries and having to talk to all of your

441
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,360
Speaker 3: family members, and that's not fair to her because now

442
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 3: they all hate her. It's true, you should have been

443
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 3: doing that.

444
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 2: So I say, if I've got a partner.

445
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 4: If I'm married and my family comes after my partner,

446
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,679
Speaker 4: I'm not standing for it for a half second. No way,

447
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,720
Speaker 4: no how, huh uh no way.

448
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 3: I find it extremely odd that this is coming from

449
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 3: my husband's other sisters, husband brother in law too, who

450
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,640
Speaker 3: has nothing to do with this situation. I think it's

451
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 3: inappropriate for them to involve their younger children, our niece

452
00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 3: and nephew, who I've known all their lives in this

453
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 3: for them to even have any kind of feelings about it.

454
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 3: This is also yet again another common thread of them

455
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 3: saying that I'm not went mentally well. Anytime that I

456
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 3: do or say something to stand up for myself, oh,

457
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,399
Speaker 3: he's like, hey, that was pretty rude, and they're like,

458
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 3: you're crazy.

459
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:34,160
Speaker 4: Go to a mental institution, absurd, absurd.

460
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 3: Bah. I'm also hurt that they could so easily cut

461
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,200
Speaker 3: me out of their family like this without ever actually

462
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 3: speaking to me about anything. I'm not naive, and I

463
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 3: obviously knew there was a good chance that sister in

464
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 3: law and brother in law wouldn't want to speak to

465
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,600
Speaker 3: me after I contacted her boss, but I didn't expect

466
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 3: the whole rest of the family to cut me off too.

467
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,880
Speaker 3: Where do we go from here? My husband obviously wants

468
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 3: a relationship with his family and wants our daughter, a

469
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 3: female one, to have one with them as well. I

470
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 3: want that too, I really do, but not without first

471
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 3: being shown some respect and for them to take accountability

472
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 3: for their part in our relationship getting to the state

473
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 3: that it's currently in. My husband at one point suggested

474
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 3: that he and our daughter continue going to family events

475
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:25,919
Speaker 3: for his side of the family, but just without me. Again,

476
00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 3: this guy's doing nothing. I'm sorry, I don't like your husband, Opie.

477
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 3: Now he's saying, ah, well, well, it's only you that

478
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 3: they don't like, Like I shouldn't have to not go,

479
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 3: it's only you they hate.

480
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 4: He's probably coming from a place where he's like, oh, no,

481
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 4: I'm gonna have to deal with them. Yeah, And it's like, dude,

482
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 4: you should have already been dealing with se Dude, they're

483
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 4: they're literally like slam dunking on your wife for standing

484
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 4: up for yourself and amy spine.

485
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, you should have been dealing with them from day one, buddy.

486
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 3: We ultimately decided against this because it would much. It

487
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 3: would make it seem like we aren't a team and

488
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 3: would make them think that he agrees with them and

489
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 3: would just be giving them what they want exactly. That's

490
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 3: the whole point. They're trying to separate you, guys. They

491
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 3: want to isolate him from you because they hate you

492
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 3: and they want to control him.

493
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 2: Sounds about right to me.

494
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 3: Any suggestions on what to do, I truly don't think

495
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,639
Speaker 3: anything will get them to understand where I'm coming from.

496
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 3: And even if they agree to sit down and talk

497
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 3: with us, I don't think that they would truly listen.

498
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 3: Should I push for a discussion regardless, and then my

499
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 3: husband can at least see that I'm not the one

500
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 3: who's being entirely unreasonable here? Am I being entirely unreasonable? Here?

501
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:48,440
Speaker 3: Any advice would be appreciated, And there is a third update.

502
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 3: But what do you.

503
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 2: Think, gee, your husband on your side.

504
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 3: If you're unreasonable that he's not already on your side?

505
00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 4: Ike, I don't know why your husband's not on your side,

506
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,360
Speaker 4: and why I feel like the reason is because.

507
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 2: He's like, but my family scary? Can you see how

508
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 2: scary they are?

509
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 4: And it's like, well, it's time for you guys to

510
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 4: start your own family. I guess because these people suck

511
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,400
Speaker 4: and it's over something that shouldn't really be that big

512
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 4: of an issue.

513
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 3: No, it's over a photo album and someone not doing

514
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 3: their job right.

515
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 4: If they were more respectful about it, unless just like

516
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 4: completely dismissive of Op's like existence as a human being,

517
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 4: it probably would be fine.

518
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 2: But because they're just going about it.

519
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 4: In a way that like literally takes away any agency

520
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 4: or opinion that Op he could possibly have. And then

521
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 4: instead they just go, no, oh, you're wrong, you're wrong,

522
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 4: and you're bad. You're bad and you're wrong.

523
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 3: You're bad and you're wrong.

524
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 2: It's just it's ridiculous. Where's the husband? Where are you?

525
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:49,520
Speaker 3: Where are you?

526
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:50,760
Speaker 2: Where are you?

527
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 3: But there is a third update.

528
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,879
Speaker 5: We're making that word but dong, you're bad and wrong?

529
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 2: But dong, but dong.

530
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 3: But this Stanley's freaking But now Kimberly find says because

531
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 3: he's been conditioned to accept this behavior since birth, and

532
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 3: OP is throwing a wrench in the cogs of their

533
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 3: machine of malice. Whoa like that machine of malice? Malice, malice,

534
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:19,479
Speaker 3: malischine um. But there is a third update. So we're

535
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 3: gonna get into that.

536
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,480
Speaker 2: We're gonna swan dive right into it.

537
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 3: Anyway, everyone. I have previously posted about my just no

538
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 3: sister in law, who unfortunately happens to work at my

539
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 3: daughter's daycare and who recently broke several laws surrounding the

540
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 3: privacy and confidentiality of our information that she has access to.

541
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:44,439
Speaker 3: And she's blaming you, guys. She's blaming you guys for

542
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 3: being suspended for two days when she broke several laws.

543
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 2: That was her fault. She did that. She chose to

544
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 2: break the rules of her employment.

545
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're going to break some laws, you better

546
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 3: be ready for the consequence.

547
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 4: And like, if you work with kids, dude, you follow

548
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 4: those freaking rules.

549
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,879
Speaker 2: Dude. I taught kids how to snowboard.

550
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, there were rules about how we interacted with the kids.

551
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,399
Speaker 2: You follow the freaking rules.

552
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 3: Yep, because they're there for safety. One of my very

553
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,840
Speaker 3: close friends recently took her son out out of this

554
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 3: daycare and switched him over to a new one. I

555
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,800
Speaker 3: was initially under the impression that she made this choice

556
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 3: because the other daycare was closer in proximity to her

557
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 3: home than the one that my daughter goes to, so

558
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 3: I didn't really ask her about it or think too

559
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 3: much of it. This past weekend, I was hanging out

560
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 3: with her one on one, and I opened up about

561
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 3: the issues that I've had with my sister in law

562
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 3: at the daycare. My friend, whose son had previously been

563
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 3: in my sister in law's room at the daycare, then

564
00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 3: proceeded to tell me the real reason as to why

565
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 3: she chose to take her son to a new daycare

566
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:53,160
Speaker 3: and get away from this one. My friend was called

567
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,560
Speaker 3: in for a meeting at the daycare with the three

568
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 3: classroom teachers, the owner of the daycare, and a social worker.

569
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 3: When she arrived, I'd at that meeting, they informed her

570
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,719
Speaker 3: that she was there because they wanted to discuss her

571
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 3: son's behavior with her. They told her that they've already

572
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 3: had him assessed, didn't specify what for on two separate occasions,

573
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 3: because of the potentially concerning behaviors they felt he was displaying.

574
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 3: I feel like you have to have the parents' permission

575
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:19,399
Speaker 3: to assess a child.

576
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,920
Speaker 2: No, I mean, I guess it would depend who you are,

577
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 2: what agency you are, what authority you have.

578
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't know this scenms.

579
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,200
Speaker 2: I don't know. That doesn't sound right. It definitely sounds

580
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 2: right right.

581
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,119
Speaker 3: Neither she nor her husband had ever been informed of

582
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 3: their son being assessed for anything through the daycare prior

583
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 3: to this meeting. Each of the three classroom teachers, including

584
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 3: my sister in law, then went on to describe what

585
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 3: they described as concerning behavior being displayed by her son.

586
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 3: They said things like, he doesn't look them in the

587
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 3: eyes all the time. Talking to him sometimes is like

588
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 3: talking to a wall. He's three. He doesn't play with

589
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 3: different to He only wants to play with the same

590
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 3: toy most of the time. He likes to organize things

591
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 3: like cars and matching colors, etc.

592
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 2: Just crazy. Talking to this three year old is like

593
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 2: talking to a brick wall.

594
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 3: He's so boring.

595
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 4: Why doesn't this three year old understand the ins and

596
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 4: outs of the East Asian stock market?

597
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 3: He won't engage with me about the economic state of

598
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 3: our countries.

599
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 4: Like when I talk to him about asset portfolios, it's

600
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 4: like he's three years old.

601
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 3: He doesn't even know how to invest. My friend said

602
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 3: that it felt like they were trying. What they were

603
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 3: trying to do was lead her to an auntism diagnosis,

604
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 3: and they replied saying something along the lines of they

605
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 3: know how hard it could be to process this sort

606
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 3: of thing or to recognize it in your own child.

607
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 3: The convo was all primarily led by my sister in law,

608
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 3: who has previously said to me that she thinks my

609
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 3: friend's son has a touch of the tism and this

610
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 3: lady is the one part of this diagnosial process, and

611
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 3: that even one sent me a photo of him working

612
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 3: at something at the daycare that she felt was an

613
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 3: example that proved this. Wait again, she is sending photos

614
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,760
Speaker 3: of other kids, I mean other parents' kids.

615
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, to not the parents. You don't really have a

616
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,479
Speaker 4: leg to stand on here. Stop like, stop it, just

617
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 4: stop stop it.

618
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 3: So now I'm thrown. The issue with sister in law

619
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 3: is one thing, and while I do think she was

620
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 3: likely the perpetrator to have made any of this happen,

621
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 3: how is it possible that the person who owns the

622
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 3: daycares sat there and allowed for this to happen. The

623
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 3: social worker that had been brought in by the daycarees

624
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 3: sent my friend a very long email afterwards, deeply apologizing

625
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 3: for what had happened in the meeting and emphasized the

626
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 3: lack of ethics being followed by the daycare in this situation.

627
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 3: She informed my friend that as a social worker, he

628
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 3: isn't qualified to diagnose anyone with anything, let alone her

629
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 3: son with autism, and was unaware that that was why

630
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 3: the daycare had asked her to be there for the meeting. Yeah.

631
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 3: I mean, like, these aren't professionals. Why are they diagnosing

632
00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 3: your son? I think they could make a recommendation. They

633
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,920
Speaker 3: could say, hey, you know, we've noticed some behavior that

634
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 3: we think maybe aligns with, you know, an autism diagnosis. Instead, yeah,

635
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 3: we recommend you going to a doctor.

636
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,600
Speaker 4: Instead, they're like, yeah, your kid's weird. Man, I don't

637
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 4: know he's got autism.

638
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 3: Again, he sucks the doctor.

639
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't really carry a conversation.

640
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 4: And also he really likes one toy, which, as we

641
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:27,560
Speaker 4: all know, he's trying to normal trait for children whatsoever.

642
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 3: He's really into trains and that's it and no other

643
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 3: child has ever done that.

644
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 2: Not me.

645
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 3: Eh, my friend and I are looking for more information

646
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 3: on what can be done about this as we are

647
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 3: seemingly a pat or we are hold on okay, sorry,

648
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 3: I had to readjust my.

649
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 2: Eyes readjust your eyes? Are you a robot? Did not?

650
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 6: Wait?

651
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 3: Once I get everyone?

652
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 4: Is that what you do that when you get like

653
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 4: the not focused fuzzies. I get that sometimes, Yeah, my

654
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 4: eyes just don't want to focus. Instead of doing that,

655
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 4: I just do this.

656
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 2: Are you people robots?

657
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 6: What are you?

658
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 3: I need to do the reset button? Hold on everyone?

659
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 2: Oh no, you're like when they take their batteries out

660
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 2: and they fall back.

661
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 3: Just I'm back, Ellie Jack says. Barnabas would never with

662
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 3: that kid.

663
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 2: Barnabas.

664
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 3: I don't know.

665
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 2: Barnabas might try to squeeze some money out of that kid.

666
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:34,200
Speaker 3: Nabas.

667
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 4: Barnabas would be like, do you what's your pot? Barnabas

668
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 4: would be like, that kid's weird. He won't tell me

669
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 4: how much money he has so I can charge him rent.

670
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 3: Barnabas doesn't believe in uh, getting your child assessed.

671
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 4: Barnabas would just silently, quiet not quietly, whisper the Anarchist

672
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 4: cookbook into his ear.

673
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 2: He wouldn't care if he doesn't respond.

674
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:01,400
Speaker 3: I'm back yet. I mean, I'm back again. My friend

675
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 3: and I are looking for more information on what can

676
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 3: be done about this, as we are seeing a pattern

677
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:10,160
Speaker 3: of the daycare owners seemingly gaslighting us into believing these

678
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 3: issues aren't that big of a deal. This also just

679
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 3: feels like it must be against the law in some way,

680
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 3: but we aren't sure how, and it frightens us that

681
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 3: the owner is letting something like this slide. I think

682
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 3: you guys just need to like go to a different

683
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 3: daycare because there are too many things that have happened

684
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 3: at this daycare that seem pretty seuss.

685
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's got to be more right. I mean, maybe

686
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 4: they're like in a small town, they don't have any options.

687
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 3: That's true. I mean it also could be distance and

688
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 3: stuff or cost, but I think at the end of

689
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,959
Speaker 3: the day, it seems like it would be more beneficial

690
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 3: in the long run. You go to a different place.

691
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 2: Your best option is clearly not trying to fix this place.

692
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 3: So she claimed that they didn't bring anyone in to

693
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 3: assess my friend's son, but that they asked someone who

694
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 3: was already visiting the daycare to check him out because

695
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,479
Speaker 3: that makes it better wait, like a parent or like

696
00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 3: a specialist. What is that even do?

697
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 2: Like, I don't know.

698
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 3: Someone was like walking past and we're like, hey, are

699
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 3: you a doctor? And he was like yeah, turns out

700
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 3: he had a doctorate in like English, but you.

701
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,240
Speaker 2: Know, I had a doctorate in cartography.

702
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he said this. He said, honestly, we think

703
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 3: that he was the most qualified to assess this child

704
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 3: for autism. He was really into cartography.

705
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 2: He's really into Carter.

706
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 4: He's like, well, based on my initial observations, this child

707
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 4: is not a map, which makes him autistic.

708
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 3: And there you go.

709
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 6: Where it.

710
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 3: Does anyone know anything about if daycares are even allowed

711
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 3: to do something like assess a three year old for

712
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 3: autism or even allude to it. Should we speak to

713
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 3: a lawyer? Any advice would be helpful, and there is

714
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:51,760
Speaker 3: a fourth optate.

715
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:52,919
Speaker 6: Hey, it's Sam.

716
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 1: We get back to the stories, but here's three minutes

717
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 1: of ads from our sponsors.

718
00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 2: If you speak to a lawyer, I think it's just

719
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 2: a whack daycare. You get out.

720
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:01,839
Speaker 3: I think you just leave the I think it would

721
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,359
Speaker 3: be more like I feel like there would be more

722
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 3: problems in trying to get a lawyer involved, and probably

723
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 3: more costs associated with that, and I feel like it's

724
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,720
Speaker 3: just better because right now, nothing too crazy has happened

725
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 3: beyond you know, her sharing photos that she shouldn't be,

726
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 3: which it does seem like they, you know, suspended her.

727
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 2: I would leave a review. I'd say, don't go.

728
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 3: Leave a review. But I don't know if enough and

729
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,879
Speaker 3: you guys can correct me if I'm wrong in the chat.

730
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 3: But it doesn't seem like enough has happened to go

731
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 3: to a lawyer and sue.

732
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just feel like it's for your own personal

733
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,360
Speaker 4: sanity and what life. It's like, you don't want to

734
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 4: deal with a court case where you're suing an entity,

735
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 4: and yeah, they're gonna come after you, and then you

736
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:45,879
Speaker 4: have to go after them, and you have to pay

737
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 4: for lawyer. It's going to cost all this money. It's like,

738
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 4: it's so you just leave, Yeah, leave a bad review

739
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 4: and get out of there. However, I do think if

740
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 4: they like there's probably there's a limit in which you'd

741
00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 4: go all right, on principle, I have to sue. But

742
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 4: I feel like they tried to take your kid and

743
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 4: like we reprogrammed your kid to not be autistic anymore.

744
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,600
Speaker 2: Now it's like, all right, you're getting lawyered right now,

745
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 2: my kids.

746
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 4: Stop reprogramming my child. Your daycare, you're supposed to make

747
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,760
Speaker 4: sure he does to stick a fork in the electrical outlet.

748
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 2: Well, I'm at work.

749
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,360
Speaker 3: The blind one says, no school or daycare is allowed

750
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 3: to make an assessment for a diagnosis, but every day

751
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 3: loser says, yes they are, actually there are actually children education. Wait, oh,

752
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 3: yes they are actually children Education can diagnose without a doctor,

753
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 3: but resources are limited and not recognized by medical professionals.

754
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 3: So they can be like, yeah, that kid is autism,

755
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 3: but it's not necessarily a formal diagnose.

756
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,279
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's like, we're pretty shit acutities statistic.

757
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 3: Blog, he says, So they're definitely not allowed to do that.

758
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:49,800
Speaker 3: As an instructor, you can suggest to the parent to

759
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:51,720
Speaker 3: speak with a pediatrician, which is what we were saying

760
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:55,319
Speaker 3: about possible developmental delays, but you can't diagnose.

761
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I don't think they did they. I think

762
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 4: they were like they were soft on it.

763
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:00,359
Speaker 2: Yeah.

764
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 3: They were like we were like.

765
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 2: He's like, he's playing with one toy.

766
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 3: We brought a guy in said that your kid has autism.

767
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:11,359
Speaker 4: So yeah, which, by the way, maybe the three year

768
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 4: old just doesn't like you and that's why they're not

769
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 4: talking to you.

770
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,279
Speaker 3: Yeah. One time, when Sam was in preschool, there was

771
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 3: this young boy who had autism, and I guess like

772
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 3: they didn't really give him enough, like enough what's the

773
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 3: word attention?

774
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 2: Help?

775
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, there wasn't like there was sources, I don't know.

776
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 3: They didn't give himough resources. And one day my mom

777
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 3: went to pick me up from the daycare and she

778
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 3: was holding me and I was like maybe one or

779
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 3: maybe less than one, and he bit my foot and

780
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:46,359
Speaker 3: I started screaming. Yeah, my mom got really mad.

781
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,319
Speaker 2: That's that's really funny to me.

782
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

783
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 2: I'm just imagining just a baby, just a shrunk down

784
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 2: version of you.

785
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 1: Yeah.

786
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:55,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like this tall, but my face is the same.

787
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and my big, big head baby.

788
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:05,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, so do better get resources? Jasmine XO says, I'm

789
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 3: shocked this daycare doesn't have violations given that the social

790
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 3: worker personally witnessed unethical behavior. My mom has a daycare

791
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 3: and they're super strict. Yeah, but let's get into this

792
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 3: next update. Yes, hello everyone, I've mainly posted about my

793
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 3: just not in laws up until now, but today I'm

794
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 3: looking for advice on how to handle a situation involving

795
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:30,879
Speaker 3: my dear husband misremembering the events of what led to

796
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 3: us going no contact with them several months ago. Crazy

797
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 3: that dear husband is now the problem.

798
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,320
Speaker 2: Yeah hmmm, it's like I don't have a memory anymore.

799
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 2: I don't even know all's really busy watching the game.

800
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 3: You're busy, and she's like, don't you remember when you

801
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:47,719
Speaker 3: freaking sent all those pics of me?

802
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 4: He's like, no, no, doesn't ring a bell our members

803
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 4: that the stillers You're gonna win the Super Bowl.

804
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 3: To get more of the story, you can check out

805
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 3: my previous posts about my sister in law who was

806
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 3: working at d D's daycare and violated our privacy by

807
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,600
Speaker 3: sending out photos that she shouldn't even have added access

808
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 3: to of our daughter at daycare, to a group with

809
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 3: at least six to seven other members of my husband's

810
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 3: family in it, without our knowledge or consent. She did

811
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,400
Speaker 3: this only two days after my husband had talked with

812
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,239
Speaker 3: her at my request about her needing to send any

813
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 3: photos she takes of d D at daycare to both

814
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 3: he and I. She somehow interpreted that to mean she

815
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:30,720
Speaker 3: shouldn't send them to either of us, but should instead

816
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 3: send them out to the rest of their family without

817
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 3: ever telling us and assuming we'd never even know.

818
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, all right, that's a special kind of stupid.

819
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,280
Speaker 4: What are you talking about?

820
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:39,760
Speaker 8: Really?

821
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:44,240
Speaker 4: When we think yeah sorry, you think yeah sorry.

822
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,480
Speaker 3: When we found out and my husband confronted her about it,

823
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 3: she essentially blamed me by saying that since they had

824
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,280
Speaker 3: deleted her and the rest of the family on Facebook

825
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 3: a month or so prior to this, that she took

826
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 3: that to mean that I didn't slash wouldn't want to

827
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,040
Speaker 3: be included in any of their family group chats. The

828
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 3: thing is, that's true. Yeah, she doesn't want to be

829
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 3: included in any of the family group chats, correct, But

830
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 3: she also doesn't want you sharing private information about their

831
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:12,720
Speaker 3: child in any of the family group chats.

832
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 2: Ding ding ding ding ding.

833
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 3: Use your brain?

834
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, were you?

835
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 4: That is the dumbest thing I've ever Uh, since you

836
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 4: don't like any of us, I figured we would just

837
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 4: send pictures of your children to each other.

838
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we wouldn't tell you about it. That's fine, right,

839
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 3: that's what you wanted.

840
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 2: Also, this is all your fault.

841
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I hate you. This was such a dumb

842
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 3: thing to say for so many reasons, But I digress.

843
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 3: The whole of my husband's side of the family has

844
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,919
Speaker 3: since labeled me as mentally ill for being upset about

845
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 3: this and for reporting the incident to her boss. So,

846
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 3: needless to say, we have not seen them, nor really

847
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 3: even spoken to them at all since Okay, now for

848
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 3: the problem at hand with dear husband. Tomorrow's sister in

849
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,399
Speaker 3: law is giving birth to their first baby, a fact

850
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,919
Speaker 3: that was supposedly meant to be kept secret from us,

851
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 3: and dear husband is feeling depressed about the fact that

852
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 3: we won't be included in anything to do with that,

853
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,279
Speaker 3: and likely won't even be in her or any of

854
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 3: their lives ever anytime soon. Who knows I sympathize with him,

855
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,439
Speaker 3: as I too have been mourning the fact that I'll

856
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 3: likely never have relationship with our niece and will likely

857
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 3: never be able to see our children play a slash

858
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 3: grow up together like we had always talked to and

859
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 3: dreamed about. We used to be very close friends with

860
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:29,040
Speaker 3: sister in law and her husband before all of this,

861
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 3: and would hang out frequently and discuss the future family

862
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 3: vacations and things we do together once we all had kids.

863
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 3: Dear husband caught me off guard with his reaction to

864
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 3: my mourning by saying that I should have thought about

865
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,920
Speaker 3: that before I put us in this situation and did

866
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:51,360
Speaker 3: this to us. Then, once again, I'm pointing out that

867
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 3: all of this happened because he was a freaking coward

868
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,080
Speaker 3: who couldn't right stand up to his family.

869
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 2: He couldn't reign in his own mom but.

870
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 3: Like, and now he's turning on his own life.

871
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 4: Like part like I agree with that, though partially I

872
00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 4: don't agree that it's all her fault or whatever. But

873
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 4: it is a thing where it's like, when you know

874
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 4: you're dealing with like crazy people and if you're trying

875
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 4: to maintain a level of cordiality or peace, you do

876
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 4: have to play the political balancing game.

877
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 2: But like, that's only if that's what you want.

878
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 4: And if you don't want crazy people in your life

879
00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 4: and you want boundaries and then they immediately make you

880
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 4: an absolute villain for that, then that's their decision. And

881
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 4: then you are free and clear to move on with

882
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 4: your life without having toxic people control it.

883
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:46,359
Speaker 3: And for him to retroactively be looked it's just ah

884
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,279
Speaker 3: your fault when presumably he was there for all of

885
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 3: those decisions and decided to take a less active role

886
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:56,320
Speaker 3: in figuring out how to you know, deal with his family.

887
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, and then you're gonna go blame your wife

888
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:01,759
Speaker 4: all her crazy I would say, at the very most,

889
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 4: it's a seventy five to twenty five split. Well, I

890
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 4: think it's and and that the negativity is coming one

891
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:12,279
Speaker 4: hundred percent from his family. She just decided she was

892
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 4: putting up a boundary. Yes, that's not a bad thing

893
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 4: to do.

894
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 3: The Okay, I think that how it turned out. When

895
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 3: I say, like fault, I support her decision. Yeah, but like, yes,

896
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 3: she may have caused this because she set up a boundary.

897
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,400
Speaker 3: But I also think that, like, it's still majorly his

898
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 3: fault that any of this happened because he should have

899
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:35,320
Speaker 3: been communicating all this.

900
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:37,800
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, he should have been. But see, he probably

901
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 4: doesn't have the skills to set up any boundaries with

902
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 4: his family. He's stupid, and everything's been fine because he's

903
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 4: never set any boundaries with them.

904
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:44,919
Speaker 2: Yep.

905
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 3: He went on to tell his version of what he

906
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,840
Speaker 3: believed happened and got us to where we are currently

907
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 3: at in currently at in our relationship with his family,

908
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 3: and it's entirely different than the way in which it

909
00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 3: actually went down. He's got a little revisionist history going on.

910
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,520
Speaker 2: That's a classic Tarantino.

911
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 4: Move. We were talking about Quentin Tarantino earlier today has

912
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,480
Speaker 4: a lot of revisionist history in his movies.

913
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:10,839
Speaker 5: You've never seen a Tarantino film.

914
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,320
Speaker 3: I've seen ten minutes of kill Bill in ten minutes

915
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 3: of pulp fiction.

916
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's got a foot thing.

917
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:23,680
Speaker 4: That's if you know, if you know anything about Tarantino,

918
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 4: he's got a thing.

919
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 2: I got the feet.

920
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 3: After he was done, I asked if I could explain

921
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 3: how I remember things to have happened, as what he

922
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 3: just said is not how I remember it to have gone.

923
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 3: I got maybe one sentence out before he cut me

924
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 3: off and angrily told me that he's sick and tired

925
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 3: of me remembering things differently as time has gone on

926
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 3: to such a way that better suits my narrative.

927
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 9: He's like, I'm sick and tired of you having of

928
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 9: you telling me that the way that I'm changing all

929
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 9: of the history and all of the things that went

930
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,360
Speaker 9: down is wrong, is and tired of you remembering it correctly.

931
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,359
Speaker 4: It's interesting because that is a real phenomenon where where

932
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 4: people will remember events differently based off.

933
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 3: People remember events differently based off of emotions. The emotions

934
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:15,280
Speaker 3: play a huge That's why memory is it's not factual, right,

935
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 3: because it is so influenced by our emotions. And you

936
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 3: can actually, I mean, that's why people can block out

937
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 3: memories that are so dramatic, because yeah, our emotions have

938
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 3: such a Yeah, but I had to do a lot

939
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,320
Speaker 3: of memoir writing from memoir class that I did in college,

940
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 3: and it was all about how no memoir can be

941
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 3: truly like factual, because it's all.

942
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 4: We all live in our own realities, and we all

943
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:49,399
Speaker 4: in our own memories and our own truths.

944
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 2: Understanding and interpretation of them. Yeah.

945
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:55,320
Speaker 4: So, but yeah, he's whack for being like your truth

946
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,280
Speaker 4: is domino like it it sucks.

947
00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 3: I explained that I can understand that we're clearly both

948
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 3: from it, differently from each other, but that I was

949
00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:04,719
Speaker 3: very confused because nothing about how I remember it has

950
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:08,880
Speaker 3: changed in the slightest since it happened. He claimed that

951
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,840
Speaker 3: my recollection of a sequence of events was completely wrong,

952
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 3: and then I'm remembering it that way because it's what

953
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 3: suits me and my idea that his sister was in

954
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 3: the wrong for what she did. I am imagining that

955
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 3: his family has gotten to him a little bit.

956
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is a This is definitely a guy who

957
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 4: can't go against his family for one sex.

958
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 3: And they've been telling him this whole time that his

959
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 3: wife is the problem and that they will graciously take

960
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 3: him back if he just you know, comes to things alone.

961
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 3: When I tell you that it took everything in me

962
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:46,719
Speaker 3: not to explode out of frustration, please believe me. What's

963
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 3: the most annoying part about this is that he'd previously

964
00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 3: agreed with me when this all first happened, and he

965
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 3: understood things the same way that I did. He didn't

966
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 3: approve of me contacting her boss to report the issue. However,

967
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 3: he'd say that at the time that he understood why

968
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 3: I did it. Oh wait, so he was saying he

969
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 3: agreed and understood, like they had all both agreed on

970
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:16,280
Speaker 3: what the best course of action with or was. Okay,

971
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 3: so so OPI is saying that they disagreed about contacting

972
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 3: the boss, but that he was like, Okay, I understand

973
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 3: why you need to do it.

974
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 2: Why can't your sister have consequences for her actions?

975
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 3: What again, she didn't get fired, she got suspended for

976
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:30,720
Speaker 3: two days.

977
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's for breaking to lose your job.

978
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 3: And it's maybe not the law, but at least the

979
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,280
Speaker 3: rules of the daycare clinic.

980
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 4: And she should understand that when you work with children,

981
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:42,359
Speaker 4: the rules that are put there to protect them are

982
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 4: iron clad, extremely important you do not break them.

983
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 3: He ended, up leaving the house out of anger because

984
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 3: I wouldn't admit that I was remembering things wrong. I

985
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:55,640
Speaker 3: luckily had screenshots of all the conversations we'd had regarding

986
00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 3: this when it had initially happened that I then proceeded

987
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 3: to send to him. Initially tried to double down, but

988
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:03,760
Speaker 3: when I then sent him the rest of the messages

989
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:07,240
Speaker 3: that would make it impossible for him to refute that

990
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 3: that the way that I remember it is in fact

991
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 3: the way that it actually happened. He asked if we

992
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:13,600
Speaker 3: could just talk about it more when he gets home

993
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:18,960
Speaker 3: so frustrated. You literally have proof that you remember it correctly,

994
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,399
Speaker 3: and now he's like, oh, whatever.

995
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:24,439
Speaker 4: I don't want to talk about I think the real

996
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:26,760
Speaker 4: issue is that they're like looking for like whose fault

997
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 4: it is, or like why it happened? And I think

998
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 4: instead you need to be focused on, like what are

999
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 4: you going to do now?

1000
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 2: What happens now? How do we move?

1001
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:37,279
Speaker 3: If you want to kind of rebuild the relationship that

1002
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 3: you have with your siblings, then you need to stand

1003
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,839
Speaker 3: up for your wife and go back to them and say, hey,

1004
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,640
Speaker 3: we were trying to set up boundaries and it seems

1005
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 3: like it got a little bit out of control, but

1006
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 3: we want to work on that while still you know,

1007
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 3: keeping the respective boundaries that we that we need.

1008
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I read something today. I feel like it's reminiscent

1009
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:57,799
Speaker 2: of this.

1010
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 4: I was reading something today and it was like someone

1011
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 4: about like inviting someone to the wedding, and then the

1012
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 4: child was like, no, don't invite that person, and then

1013
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 4: the mom's like, I already did actually, and then the

1014
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 4: kid is still like the next day, like no, we're

1015
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 4: not We're not bringing this person. And then Mom's like,

1016
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:17,760
Speaker 4: I feel like this isn't even about the guest list anymore,

1017
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,000
Speaker 4: and it's about like teaching me a lesson, and it's like, yeah,

1018
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 4: it is, actually it is now tea about teaching you

1019
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 4: a lesson because you are putting me in a corner

1020
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 4: and trying to force me to do something I've already

1021
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 4: told you I'm not going to do. So at this point,

1022
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,160
Speaker 4: it's like same thing with like the you know, the

1023
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 4: the daycare or it's like where it's if the family

1024
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 4: is like you just did this because it was about

1025
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:41,240
Speaker 4: it got personal.

1026
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:42,480
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, it was personal.

1027
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 4: You are not respecting the boundary I said about photos

1028
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 4: of my kid about photos of me, about the all

1029
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:50,320
Speaker 4: of this, All this started from a photo album.

1030
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's insane, barreling, spiraling out of control.

1031
00:49:54,880 --> 00:50:01,319
Speaker 5: Look at this photo crap you with your areola's out

1032
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 5: like bro.

1033
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:06,439
Speaker 3: Every time I see it makes me laugh. I don't

1034
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 3: know what you guys are referencing nic You don't know

1035
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 3: about Nickelback.

1036
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 2: She don't know. I know Nickelbacks.

1037
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:19,360
Speaker 3: Look, I know. I guess My question here now is

1038
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:21,319
Speaker 3: where do I go from here? And how do I

1039
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,320
Speaker 3: handle this in a mature way When he does get home.

1040
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 3: I don't want to rub it in his face that

1041
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 3: I was right the whole time and that he, in

1042
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,760
Speaker 3: fact was the one that had been remembering it wrong.

1043
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 3: But I'm also deeply hurt that he would yell at

1044
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 3: me and be so angry at me for something he

1045
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 3: was entirely wrong about. If I didn't have the screenshots

1046
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 3: to back me up, would he have just continued to

1047
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,319
Speaker 3: yell at me that I'm remembering it wrong?

1048
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,839
Speaker 2: Of course? Yeah, sounds like it.

1049
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,320
Speaker 3: Well, he was writing on you, you know, not having proof,

1050
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 3: so that he could gaslight you into thinking that he

1051
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 3: was in the right. I understand that he was one

1052
00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,839
Speaker 3: hundred percent trying to gaslight me whether he was doing

1053
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:02,479
Speaker 3: it intentionally or not. But how do I go about

1054
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,360
Speaker 3: addressing that in a common, mature way that he'll be

1055
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 3: more likely to understand here? Any advice welcome, please aside

1056
00:51:09,680 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 3: from telling me to leave him? And there is a

1057
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 3: fifth update again, Josephine, I know who Nickelback is. I'm

1058
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 3: aware who Nickelback.

1059
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 2: Is, who who is are?

1060
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:28,919
Speaker 4: Are what every member brick by Brick they built their chronology.

1061
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 2: I know who they are brick by Brick.

1062
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,920
Speaker 4: Do you know how many platinum records Nickelback had in

1063
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 4: the two thousands or like a bajillion?

1064
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 3: That's impossible.

1065
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:41,680
Speaker 2: I'm looking this up.

1066
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 5: Not impossible, Canadian. I think it impossible if you're Canadian.

1067
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,839
Speaker 4: I know I'm looking up Nickelback facts right now. But

1068
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 4: the fact remains, Yeah, yeah, the store. If the family,

1069
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 4: your in laws are the ones who are in the wrong,

1070
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 4: and if your husband can't see that, the path for

1071
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 4: word is to I guess either try.

1072
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 3: To have this conversation with your husband when he's so

1073
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 3: angry and just like so ready to cause a fight

1074
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 3: without actually listening.

1075
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 4: If you want to fix this, then you're gonna have

1076
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:16,319
Speaker 4: to bypass the husband at this point and try to

1077
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:18,319
Speaker 4: fix it yourself, and then if that doesn't work, you

1078
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 4: can just be at your peace, being like, well, I

1079
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 4: tried to be an adult and hash out and say

1080
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:26,880
Speaker 4: look even though and you can relent, you can be

1081
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 4: like you've made mistakes, I've made mistakes.

1082
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:32,240
Speaker 2: You talk to them like their children.

1083
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:34,479
Speaker 3: The thing is that I don't think that Opee could

1084
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 3: go to the in laws right now when the husband

1085
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,480
Speaker 3: is the farthest from her side that he's been this

1086
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,799
Speaker 3: whole story. Like, I think that the only way that

1087
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 3: they could potentially improve the relationship with the in laws

1088
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 3: is for them to both be working together as a team,

1089
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 3: because it seems like the whole time they haven't been

1090
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 3: working together.

1091
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,880
Speaker 2: If he's already poisoned, it's like bypass him.

1092
00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 4: Then if you can flip the family yourself, how dumb

1093
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 4: is he gonna feel once the family then starts flipping

1094
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 4: him back, He's gonna be like, oh wait, was she

1095
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 4: right the whole time?

1096
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 3: I think the way I think, I personally think you

1097
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:08,279
Speaker 3: gotta go fix this with your husband, and you said

1098
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:10,840
Speaker 3: you don't want to leave him, so I think that

1099
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 3: either you get some sort of mediator. Maybe that's you know,

1100
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:18,600
Speaker 3: going to counseling and you have someone there who is

1101
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:21,040
Speaker 3: going to make sure that you guys don't just get

1102
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 3: in this loop of like, no, I remember it this way.

1103
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:26,960
Speaker 3: I know I remember it that way. So maybe that's

1104
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 3: one way. But I think that the worst thing to

1105
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 3: do now would be to show him the text and

1106
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 3: be like, look, see I was right, because you don't

1107
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 3: want to come. It's not going to fix again. Like

1108
00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:43,840
Speaker 3: maybe the answer would be leaving him, but again, you

1109
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 3: don't want to do that. So I think right now,

1110
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:49,080
Speaker 3: if we're trying to avoid that, you don't want to

1111
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 3: just kind of rub in your face that you're right

1112
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 3: and he's wrong, even if that's true. So I think

1113
00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:00,760
Speaker 3: a mediator would probably be the best, or just approaching

1114
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 3: it from like, hey, I love you. I know that

1115
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:06,880
Speaker 3: you're coming from a place of anger and sadness that

1116
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:08,839
Speaker 3: you can't see your in law or that you can't

1117
00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 3: see your family, but we need to get on the

1118
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 3: same I would love to get on the same page

1119
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 3: about how we can maybe approach restarting that relationship while

1120
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:23,840
Speaker 3: also being on each other's sides because we're parenting together,

1121
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 3: yeah and stuff like that, and we're partners.

1122
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 4: That's a good approach, and then if he hits you

1123
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 4: with the no, I don't know what to tell you.

1124
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:32,400
Speaker 3: That's all I got for you.

1125
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 2: You've done what you can. At that point, I know.

1126
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:38,920
Speaker 3: I know all the bands in here, guys.

1127
00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 5: Okay, nothing to do with the bands of Nickelback. This

1128
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:43,400
Speaker 5: is just a code looking like Austin Matthews.

1129
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:44,840
Speaker 3: But I wasn't looking at that one. I look like

1130
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:46,920
Speaker 3: Josephine's comment.

1131
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:49,520
Speaker 2: It's crazy she don't know Nickelback.

1132
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 4: Also, I think Nickelback has twelve platinum albums.

1133
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:57,320
Speaker 2: Which that is crazy, like basically three if you multiply

1134
00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 2: it by four.

1135
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:05,799
Speaker 3: Exactly basically. But there is another updates, so let's get

1136
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 3: into it. Hello, all, here's a little backstory to help

1137
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:14,359
Speaker 3: explain what I'm looking for in terms of advice. I've

1138
00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 3: been having issues with my in laws for the past

1139
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:18,920
Speaker 3: few years and recently would have been more or less

1140
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:21,560
Speaker 3: now contact with them, including not being invited to their

1141
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 3: family Christmas. This past year, I had reported my sister

1142
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 3: in law to the daycare that she works at, which

1143
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 3: is also the daycare that our DD attends, for taking

1144
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 3: screenshots of photos and information shared to my husband. Sister

1145
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:34,279
Speaker 3: in law is not a teacher in the room that

1146
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,840
Speaker 3: our DD is in and has absolutely no reason to

1147
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:39,799
Speaker 3: even be accessing that information, which is supposed to be

1148
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 3: private to only myself and my husband and the teachers

1149
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:45,800
Speaker 3: that actually work in my daughter's room at the daycare.

1150
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:49,879
Speaker 3: We had initially confronted her about this issue, to which

1151
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:52,320
Speaker 3: she took no accountability and more or less tried to

1152
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:55,240
Speaker 3: blame me for it happening, claiming that it was because

1153
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:58,160
Speaker 3: I had deleted all of them on Facebook. I then

1154
00:55:58,239 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 3: reported her to the owner of the daycare, and after that,

1155
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:02,360
Speaker 3: she and everyone else on my husband's side of the

1156
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,560
Speaker 3: family has stated that they no longer want anything to

1157
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:06,880
Speaker 3: do with me, as they believe that I'm evil and

1158
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,280
Speaker 3: vindictive and trying to get my sister in law fired.

1159
00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:13,800
Speaker 7: It's not even about First of all, she's not fired,

1160
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:15,080
Speaker 7: and she's not fired.

1161
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:16,440
Speaker 2: What are these people?

1162
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 4: The consequences of your actions? When will you learn?

1163
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 3: When will you When will you learn that your actions

1164
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 3: have consequences? If you are speeding on the highway one

1165
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 3: fifty miles per hour, oh yeah, and someone's like, hey, hey, police,

1166
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 3: I just saw someone speeding on the highway one fifty

1167
00:56:38,640 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 3: miles per hour. Is it their fault or is it

1168
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 3: your faults?

1169
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:44,680
Speaker 4: Your fault if you're going one to fifty, go to

1170
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:47,319
Speaker 4: the track or the track the track.

1171
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,960
Speaker 3: They attempted many times to get my husband to attend

1172
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,440
Speaker 3: their family events without our ddy but without me. After

1173
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 3: several attempts, they realized that it wasn't going to happen,

1174
00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 3: so they stopped inviting all three of us to anything,

1175
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:04,960
Speaker 3: including their family Christmas. Okay, so the problem in hand

1176
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 3: is that my mother in law will be having a

1177
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 3: significant birthday in the coming months, and I have a

1178
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 3: feeling that they'll be doing some kind of party to celebrate.

1179
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:14,880
Speaker 3: My worry is that mother in law or any of

1180
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 3: her various flying monkeys will be reaching out to my

1181
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 3: husband and saying something along the lines of it being

1182
00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:22,920
Speaker 3: her birthday, wish to have all of her children and

1183
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 3: grandchildren in the same room together, and that does not

1184
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 3: include me. Frankly, I think she's just using the fact

1185
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,800
Speaker 3: that it's her birthday as an excuse to try to

1186
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:37,960
Speaker 3: guilt my husband into going with our daughter and leaving

1187
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 3: me at home, which they've made very clear in the

1188
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:45,680
Speaker 3: past is what they want but have been unsuccessful in getting. Now,

1189
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:47,919
Speaker 3: if I thought that this was just a one time deal,

1190
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 3: then maybe it would be something that I would consider allowing.

1191
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:52,640
Speaker 3: But I have no doubt that this was set the

1192
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 3: precedence moving forward that my husband and Ardidi would be

1193
00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:59,320
Speaker 3: expected to continue attending their family events and that I

1194
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:02,439
Speaker 3: would not be in. Yeah, that's that's absolutely what they're

1195
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:05,720
Speaker 3: gonna do. And it sounds like your husband is already

1196
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:09,479
Speaker 3: halfway there in terms of you know what he wants

1197
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:09,720
Speaker 3: to do.

1198
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 2: Why is your own husband othering you.

1199
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:18,440
Speaker 3: I've spoke to my parents about this, who I have

1200
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 3: an incredible relationship with. However, they're questioning why I won't

1201
00:58:22,120 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 3: just let it happen and stay home. I've explained to

1202
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:27,120
Speaker 3: them that I don't think it's appropriate for my daughter

1203
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 3: to be going anywhere that I'm specifically being excluded from.

1204
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:32,920
Speaker 3: I've told my husband that he is more than welcome

1205
00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 3: to do what he wants, but that I can't allow

1206
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:37,919
Speaker 3: him to be taking our daughter anywhere that I'm being

1207
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 3: intentionally excluded from by people who actively dislike her mother.

1208
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:44,520
Speaker 3: There are so many reasons as to why I'm not

1209
00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 3: comfortable with this, primarily being that I don't trust that

1210
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:49,680
Speaker 3: they won't say negative things about me around our daughter

1211
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,640
Speaker 3: and that my husband doesn't always pick up on as

1212
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 3: they are usually said covertly or under the guise of

1213
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 3: coming from a place of concern, or your husband's just

1214
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:02,040
Speaker 3: dumbya or it doesn't care and doesn't want to stand

1215
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:02,480
Speaker 3: up for you.

1216
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:04,439
Speaker 2: That that part.

1217
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:09,240
Speaker 4: Your husband's not a complete idiot, he's a coward. He's Yeah,

1218
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:13,280
Speaker 4: he just doesn't want to deal with standing up for himself.

1219
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 3: Yep. My husband is generally supportive of this decision, though

1220
00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 3: at times he waivers and might not necessarily see that

1221
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:23,400
Speaker 3: she's using her birthday as an excuse to guilt trip

1222
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 3: him into doing what she wants. Yeah, it frustrates me

1223
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 3: that my own parents don't see it that way either

1224
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:31,520
Speaker 3: and think that I'm potentially just giving them more ammunition

1225
00:59:32,080 --> 00:59:34,200
Speaker 3: to say that I'm withholding our daughter from them as

1226
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:35,280
Speaker 3: a form of punishment.

1227
00:59:35,760 --> 00:59:40,480
Speaker 2: But you're withholding they'rewithholding your ability to be president family

1228
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 2: gatherings as a form of punishment. That are doing the

1229
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:43,720
Speaker 2: same thing.

1230
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:47,920
Speaker 4: They're doing the exact same It's that's and of course

1231
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:50,720
Speaker 4: you wouldn't want your daughter going somewhere where everyone's going

1232
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 4: to bash you and your husband's not going to stick

1233
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:53,080
Speaker 4: up for you.

1234
00:59:53,480 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like what are we even? What what's going on here?

1235
00:59:58,360 --> 00:59:58,440
Speaker 4: No?

1236
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 3: I think I don't know. It just seems like your

1237
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:04,000
Speaker 3: parents and your husband are not looking at your or

1238
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:05,560
Speaker 3: not caring about your feelings at all.

1239
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:08,720
Speaker 2: It feels like the husband needs help.

1240
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,520
Speaker 4: It feels like the husband needs therapy to realize that

1241
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:14,240
Speaker 4: his family is toxic as free.

1242
01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, as it's just when you are parenting with someone,

1243
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:22,280
Speaker 3: when you have a partner that you the life partner

1244
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 3: that you have a child with, unless you're divorcing them,

1245
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:29,080
Speaker 3: you need to make sure that you guys are operating

1246
01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:33,320
Speaker 3: on the same page as often as possible and figuring

1247
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 3: out things that you guys disagree with rationally and respectfully,

1248
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 3: and making sure that no one else is disrespecting your partner.

1249
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:46,240
Speaker 2: Agreed, all right?

1250
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:49,040
Speaker 3: Would you let your child go if you were being

1251
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:52,520
Speaker 3: specifically excluded by your in laws? Any advice welcome, and

1252
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:57,240
Speaker 3: there is a sixth update, manument, let's go really quick.

1253
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 3: I think that, uh, I think I agree with you.

1254
01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 3: You cannot disallow your husband from attending these events because

1255
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 3: he's an adult and this is his family. But I

1256
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:12,920
Speaker 3: honestly think that it makes sense that you don't want

1257
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 3: your kid to go to these events. Because we already

1258
01:01:15,320 --> 01:01:19,360
Speaker 3: know that they've crap talk to you, yeah, to other people,

1259
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:23,120
Speaker 3: and we already know that they don't like you and

1260
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:26,440
Speaker 3: that they're excluding you on purpose. So I think that

1261
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:29,600
Speaker 3: it makes sense that they probably will start, you know,

1262
01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 3: bad talking you to your your daughter when she is conscious.

1263
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:36,480
Speaker 2: Of it, of course, And what if we do this?

1264
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 2: Are we rocking with this? What if we do this?

1265
01:01:38,720 --> 01:01:39,080
Speaker 3: Okay?

1266
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 4: What if we just roll up uninvited? What if we

1267
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:46,520
Speaker 4: just rock up to the party uninvited? What are you

1268
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 4: going to do about it? Here I am with my

1269
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 4: husband and our daughter.

1270
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 6: What are you going to do about it?

1271
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 3: You have to say about that?

1272
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 2: What are you going to do about it?

1273
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:56,480
Speaker 4: And then maybe their absurd reaction will then prompt your

1274
01:01:56,560 --> 01:02:00,360
Speaker 4: husband to snap out and go, oh, these people are

1275
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:05,560
Speaker 4: literally slam dunking on my wife for having a boundary.

1276
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:08,959
Speaker 2: And also, your sister broke the freaking law.

1277
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:11,480
Speaker 4: Dude, your sister shouldn't be working with kids if she's

1278
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:13,960
Speaker 4: that stupid that she thinks that that was okay.

1279
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 3: Caitlyn mon Compet says this story started with some nip

1280
01:02:17,280 --> 01:02:19,720
Speaker 3: slip picks sent to the fam. Oh well, I totally

1281
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:21,800
Speaker 3: forgot the beginning for a second there, and again I

1282
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 3: want everyone to remember who freaking sent those her husband.

1283
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:29,959
Speaker 3: He is the problem at the.

1284
01:02:29,840 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 2: Center of this story.

1285
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:37,560
Speaker 4: Mother asks, mother gets, Mother gets whatever she wants, and apparently,

1286
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:40,480
Speaker 4: you know, has not done a good job of teaching

1287
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:43,840
Speaker 4: her kid's consequences either, because the sister in law thinks

1288
01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 4: that she should be able to do whatever she wants

1289
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 4: without any consequences as.

1290
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 3: Well, and that's not true. Well, it happened just as

1291
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 3: I expected it would. I recently posted on a here

1292
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:56,640
Speaker 3: about mother in law's upcoming birthday and how I assume

1293
01:02:56,680 --> 01:02:58,320
Speaker 3: there would be some kind of party for her that

1294
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be invited to. To be clear, I don't

1295
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 3: care that I'm not invited, and I honestly wouldn't want

1296
01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:07,840
Speaker 3: to go either way, but it's the principle of the matter.

1297
01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 3: As my husband's family seems to think it's perfectly fine

1298
01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:13,240
Speaker 3: for them to all cut me off and pretend I

1299
01:03:13,280 --> 01:03:16,520
Speaker 3: don't exist, and yet still expect my husband and our

1300
01:03:16,600 --> 01:03:19,720
Speaker 3: DDI to attend all of their very frequent family events

1301
01:03:20,360 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 3: without me. So last week, the oldest sister in law

1302
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,840
Speaker 3: texted dear husband asking him to have a phone call

1303
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:30,240
Speaker 3: and that it wasn't anything serious. He calls her and

1304
01:03:30,280 --> 01:03:32,480
Speaker 3: she right away says that they're going to be having

1305
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:34,440
Speaker 3: a party for mother in law an hour away from

1306
01:03:34,480 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 3: where we live, and she wants to know if he

1307
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:42,840
Speaker 3: were to come, who all would be coming with him. That's,

1308
01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:47,040
Speaker 3: oh my god, such a thinly veiled yeah plan plot.

1309
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:50,040
Speaker 3: It's coming with you? Is that the person I hate?

1310
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 4: Is it? Just?

1311
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 3: The thing is that, really you can only have a

1312
01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 3: plus one yea, and it can't be your wife, and

1313
01:03:57,280 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 3: it can't be your wife because we don't like it.

1314
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:01,439
Speaker 3: We hate your wife. Don't bring her. You should hate

1315
01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:04,480
Speaker 3: your wife. Someone's in the background going.

1316
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 4: A have you seen Adventure time? It's like with the

1317
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:14,760
Speaker 4: flame Kings and his little gas lamp, and he's.

1318
01:04:14,640 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 3: Going evil exactly what's happening to On the phone call?

1319
01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:22,840
Speaker 3: He told her that if we were to go at all,

1320
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:24,960
Speaker 3: it would either to be all three of us or

1321
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,640
Speaker 3: none of us at all. She then said, well, younger

1322
01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:31,560
Speaker 3: sister in law and my and me, Oh, he can't

1323
01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:33,400
Speaker 3: be in the same room as each other, So I

1324
01:04:33,400 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 3: guess that means you won't be coming. Then he said,

1325
01:04:36,160 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 3: I guess it does, and they hung up. Okay, at

1326
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:41,240
Speaker 3: least he finally freaking did a little bit.

1327
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:45,200
Speaker 4: There's something, there's something there, some motion going there.

1328
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, he went, I guess it does.

1329
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:51,920
Speaker 2: Consider it there.

1330
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:58,080
Speaker 3: If you had, if you read any of my previous posts,

1331
01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:00,000
Speaker 3: I hope you too would find it comical that young

1332
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 3: her sister in law, is the one who can't stand

1333
01:05:02,040 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 3: to be in the room the same room as me,

1334
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 3: because realistically it should be the all her way around.

1335
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:09,960
Speaker 3: She used her position at Dede's daycare to do something

1336
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:13,080
Speaker 3: against the law. I reported her for that, and yet

1337
01:05:13,120 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 3: she's the one who can't be in the same room

1338
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:21,720
Speaker 3: as me. Ahh Like why what why?

1339
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:26,600
Speaker 4: That was such a good transcription of that. That Aha,

1340
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,560
Speaker 4: thank you? What is this? Like?

1341
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:32,560
Speaker 3: Why what would she do? Fight me?

1342
01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 1: Like?

1343
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:36,720
Speaker 3: Why what would she do fight me? Would my presence

1344
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:39,160
Speaker 3: truly upset her so greatly that she can't be around me?

1345
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:42,240
Speaker 3: Or is that seeing me would only stand as a

1346
01:05:42,280 --> 01:05:44,640
Speaker 3: reminder of the mistakes she made, whether or not she's

1347
01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 3: willing to admit them. But you know what I'm gonna

1348
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:47,840
Speaker 3: admit to you.

1349
01:05:47,880 --> 01:05:49,600
Speaker 2: Dude, I admit it fully right now.

1350
01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:52,480
Speaker 3: You can listen to full episodes with stories just like this.

1351
01:05:52,680 --> 01:05:55,600
Speaker 3: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast

1352
01:05:55,600 --> 01:05:59,280
Speaker 3: app and search a poky story time. My alternative version

1353
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:03,040
Speaker 3: to that, uh was gonna be But you know what

1354
01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:05,040
Speaker 3: you can do even when you're not in the same

1355
01:06:05,120 --> 01:06:07,960
Speaker 3: room as us, listen to full episodes of stories just

1356
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:08,320
Speaker 3: like this.

1357
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:10,080
Speaker 2: You can't keep going, keep going.

1358
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:12,800
Speaker 3: Just go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite podcast

1359
01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:14,760
Speaker 3: app and search up okay storytime. Yeah, and now you

1360
01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:16,040
Speaker 3: have two options to shooes from.

1361
01:06:16,120 --> 01:06:19,000
Speaker 2: It's beautiful, wonderful and ain't that just a beautiful thing?

1362
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:24,360
Speaker 3: And oh we gotta knowing? No, he only says tail.

1363
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:26,640
Speaker 2: No, it's because there's food, so he circled.

1364
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:30,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh yeah, but there is a little bit left

1365
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:33,200
Speaker 3: to this story, so we're gonna finish it off unless

1366
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:34,840
Speaker 3: you have any final thoughts.

1367
01:06:36,920 --> 01:06:41,040
Speaker 4: It's good that your husband is taking somewhat of a stand,

1368
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:43,080
Speaker 4: or not a stand, but at least feel like a

1369
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:46,760
Speaker 4: half sit taking your side in some capacity.

1370
01:06:47,000 --> 01:06:54,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like, this is him, is his stand.

1371
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:54,360
Speaker 2: And then in the month goes.

1372
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:56,320
Speaker 3: Sit down and then he sits right back down.

1373
01:06:56,920 --> 01:07:00,680
Speaker 2: But uh, yeah, I'm liking this. What is she going

1374
01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:03,720
Speaker 2: to do? Fight me? That's right? Roll up, see what happens,

1375
01:07:04,200 --> 01:07:05,040
Speaker 2: Just see what happens.

1376
01:07:07,280 --> 01:07:09,479
Speaker 4: They're like, why did you still come and you're like, see,

1377
01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:11,520
Speaker 4: I wanted to show you what it looks like when

1378
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:14,880
Speaker 4: someone is in respecting your boundary, roll.

1379
01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:19,440
Speaker 3: Up with a bunch of rings on your hands.

1380
01:07:18,120 --> 01:07:21,400
Speaker 2: Ready to throw hands gauntlet, throw those hands gauntlet.

1381
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:23,880
Speaker 3: I guess I'm just left wondering if anyone else has

1382
01:07:23,920 --> 01:07:26,960
Speaker 3: been through anything similar with their in laws, how can

1383
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:30,240
Speaker 3: this really go on for? You know, like, like, at

1384
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,200
Speaker 3: what point will the rest of their family turn around

1385
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:34,240
Speaker 3: and blame sister in law for them ever being able

1386
01:07:34,280 --> 01:07:37,120
Speaker 3: to see any of us because she can't stand to

1387
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:39,960
Speaker 3: be around me? Or will they just continue to appease

1388
01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:41,760
Speaker 3: her for the rest of their lives and paint me

1389
01:07:41,800 --> 01:07:46,440
Speaker 3: as the villain. It's all just so dumb, frustrating and

1390
01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:51,280
Speaker 3: rather pointless, honestly, And that is the end of that story.

1391
01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:54,960
Speaker 3: Man oh man, uh but yeah, not your fault. Man.

1392
01:07:55,160 --> 01:07:58,960
Speaker 3: You're trying to set boundaries and your husband is is

1393
01:08:00,840 --> 01:08:02,880
Speaker 3: letting it all happen until now it seems.

1394
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:07,240
Speaker 4: I'm never I'm never a fan of the whole, Like

1395
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:10,520
Speaker 4: I'm like being an adult and being like I can't

1396
01:08:10,560 --> 01:08:13,760
Speaker 4: be around that person, like unless it's like there's some

1397
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:16,400
Speaker 4: times where it's like all right, no, that's fair, but

1398
01:08:16,520 --> 01:08:19,720
Speaker 4: like the vast majority that I hear, it's like, dude,

1399
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,879
Speaker 4: you're just being an actual baby baby being a baby,

1400
01:08:23,280 --> 01:08:24,040
Speaker 4: Like I think I.

1401
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:30,200
Speaker 3: Think you're like, like this person has hurt you physically

1402
01:08:30,760 --> 01:08:33,080
Speaker 3: or like just yeh, traumatized you.

1403
01:08:33,120 --> 01:08:36,000
Speaker 4: If there's a cute trauma associated with this person, it's like,

1404
01:08:36,200 --> 01:08:36,759
Speaker 4: that's fair.

1405
01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:38,080
Speaker 2: You don't need to be in the same room.

1406
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:39,920
Speaker 3: But they kind of pissed me off.

1407
01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:41,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like grow up.

1408
01:08:41,680 --> 01:08:43,840
Speaker 3: Literally, you're you have to deal with people we don't

1409
01:08:43,880 --> 01:08:44,400
Speaker 3: like all.

1410
01:08:44,360 --> 01:08:47,559
Speaker 2: The time, exactly. And from a perspective of it's when

1411
01:08:47,560 --> 01:08:49,000
Speaker 2: it's you're the one who's been wronged.

1412
01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:52,639
Speaker 4: Don't let them win. You're letting them still control where

1413
01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:56,040
Speaker 4: you go, how you move, who you see, what you do.

1414
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:57,439
Speaker 4: That's them winning.

1415
01:08:58,080 --> 01:08:59,599
Speaker 2: Don't don't let them win.

1416
01:09:01,360 --> 01:09:04,200
Speaker 3: But that was the end of that story and the

1417
01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:08,120
Speaker 3: end of this episode. So if you love us, make

1418
01:09:08,160 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 3: sure to subscribe.

1419
01:09:09,760 --> 01:09:15,120
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow. John here og host.

1420
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:16,880
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to these stories. But a quick

1421
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:17,719
Speaker 2: free minute break.

1422
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:20,599
Speaker 6: From hous from our sponsors. This is an episode from

1423
01:09:20,640 --> 01:09:21,880
Speaker 6: Deep within the Archives.

1424
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:24,080
Speaker 2: Time for okop relash.

1425
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:30,240
Speaker 1: My big Meie Daddy is blackmailing me because I went

1426
01:09:30,280 --> 01:09:31,719
Speaker 1: into postpartum rage.

1427
01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:34,160
Speaker 6: But I have something up my sleeve.

1428
01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:38,560
Speaker 2: So you get him with the double whammie.

1429
01:09:38,160 --> 01:09:43,240
Speaker 1: No surree, like a magician. She's doing some blackmail, black magic.

1430
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:45,080
Speaker 2: I'm gonna predict, not the a hole.

1431
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:45,600
Speaker 6: Why not?

1432
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:49,559
Speaker 1: I female twenty three, have a beautiful child and another

1433
01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:52,360
Speaker 1: one on the way. After I had my first child,

1434
01:09:52,479 --> 01:09:57,000
Speaker 1: I had really bad postpartum depression and postpartum rage.

1435
01:09:57,479 --> 01:09:59,160
Speaker 6: I've heard a post part of depression. I've never heard

1436
01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:00,000
Speaker 6: of postpartum rage.

1437
01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:03,080
Speaker 10: I like that, Like you're just listening to the middle

1438
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:03,639
Speaker 10: all day, Like.

1439
01:10:06,280 --> 01:10:06,800
Speaker 6: Is that a thing?

1440
01:10:06,920 --> 01:10:07,280
Speaker 2: Ladies?

1441
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:09,760
Speaker 1: Can you please put in the comments? If I have

1442
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 1: no idea this exists? Okay, let's look it up really quick.

1443
01:10:13,760 --> 01:10:16,920
Speaker 1: Oh okay. So it's like a rare but serious mental

1444
01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:23,000
Speaker 1: condition that's connected to post partner depression, anxiety, impossible bipolar disorder.

1445
01:10:25,240 --> 01:10:25,639
Speaker 6: Okay.

1446
01:10:25,920 --> 01:10:27,920
Speaker 1: So I did some things that I'm not proud of,

1447
01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:30,639
Speaker 1: and I've spent years paying and making up for it.

1448
01:10:30,960 --> 01:10:34,360
Speaker 1: I spent years after this being made to comply to

1449
01:10:34,439 --> 01:10:37,120
Speaker 1: my baby daddy wishes or else he was going to

1450
01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:39,639
Speaker 1: press charges for some of the things I did when

1451
01:10:39,680 --> 01:10:42,840
Speaker 1: I was going through that rough part of my life. Oh,

1452
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:45,200
Speaker 1: it got to be insane on the demands and to

1453
01:10:45,240 --> 01:10:48,439
Speaker 1: the point he had me living in fear. I recently

1454
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:50,720
Speaker 1: contacted the lawyer to see if there's anything I can do.

1455
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:54,320
Speaker 1: The lawyer said what he's doing is falling under the

1456
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:58,559
Speaker 1: blackmail law and he can legally no longer do anything

1457
01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:03,080
Speaker 1: due to his blackmail. So I guess apparently if you're

1458
01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:07,360
Speaker 1: using something someone has done as blackmail, then you can't

1459
01:11:07,439 --> 01:11:08,240
Speaker 1: use that anymore.

1460
01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:12,639
Speaker 10: That's wild because he basically he's saying, like, oh, there's

1461
01:11:12,720 --> 01:11:15,439
Speaker 10: things that like I could I have a case for

1462
01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:18,560
Speaker 10: in court and I could do those things, which he

1463
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:22,599
Speaker 10: very well could, but him, I guess like threatening to

1464
01:11:22,640 --> 01:11:26,280
Speaker 10: bring those to court is legally blackmail. Wow, this is

1465
01:11:26,800 --> 01:11:29,200
Speaker 10: I'm that I've heard lot on this episode.

1466
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:32,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, the lawyer took on the case and filed blackmail

1467
01:11:33,000 --> 01:11:36,759
Speaker 1: charges against him. His family found out and went off.

1468
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:40,120
Speaker 1: I responded with, yes, I did some terrible things. I

1469
01:11:40,120 --> 01:11:43,040
Speaker 1: spent years paying my debt for them. I'm sorry for

1470
01:11:43,280 --> 01:11:46,200
Speaker 1: everyone that was affected by my actions, but I can't

1471
01:11:46,320 --> 01:11:49,160
Speaker 1: keep living in fear and have him controlling me.

1472
01:11:49,680 --> 01:11:51,560
Speaker 6: I have kids to think about.

1473
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:54,720
Speaker 1: Also, I see a therapist on a regular basis, and

1474
01:11:54,760 --> 01:11:57,120
Speaker 1: I'm on depression medicine, which helps a lot. I was

1475
01:11:57,200 --> 01:12:00,439
Speaker 1: never endangering my child. I would lash out, yet calm

1476
01:12:00,520 --> 01:12:03,840
Speaker 1: names push people away. I attempted to unlive myself a

1477
01:12:03,840 --> 01:12:05,880
Speaker 1: few times, and I locked him out of the house,

1478
01:12:05,920 --> 01:12:08,280
Speaker 1: saying I no longer wanted him in my life. There

1479
01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:12,519
Speaker 1: was never anything physical. A good bit of people agree.

1480
01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:14,679
Speaker 1: I have paid my debt for my wrongs the people

1481
01:12:14,680 --> 01:12:17,680
Speaker 1: who were affected, and the only ones upset about this

1482
01:12:18,000 --> 01:12:18,759
Speaker 1: is his family.

1483
01:12:19,080 --> 01:12:21,639
Speaker 6: So am I the A hole? Tough one?

1484
01:12:22,040 --> 01:12:25,000
Speaker 1: John's about to get into the breakdown. But before he does,

1485
01:12:25,080 --> 01:12:26,320
Speaker 1: I want you guys to let me know what you

1486
01:12:26,400 --> 01:12:29,240
Speaker 1: think you know? Is op being the A hole? Is

1487
01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:31,920
Speaker 1: the baby daddy being the A hole? Is this lawyer

1488
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:35,120
Speaker 1: being an a hole? Like all lawyers are just kidding.

1489
01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:37,559
Speaker 1: There's there's some good lawyers out there, But John, what

1490
01:12:37,560 --> 01:12:37,960
Speaker 1: do you think?

1491
01:12:38,080 --> 01:12:38,439
Speaker 6: I don't know.

1492
01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:40,920
Speaker 10: This one's really hard because also also it's like, what

1493
01:12:41,000 --> 01:12:44,559
Speaker 10: did she what she she gave she gave some insight

1494
01:12:44,920 --> 01:12:48,439
Speaker 10: as to like what she did during her uh post

1495
01:12:49,840 --> 01:12:53,240
Speaker 10: postpartum rageous as she mentioned, I don't know this one's

1496
01:12:53,280 --> 01:12:55,800
Speaker 10: This one's so hard to call honestly for me, because

1497
01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:59,959
Speaker 10: it's like, what exactly did she do, Like in detail,

1498
01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:01,200
Speaker 10: what what did she do?

1499
01:13:02,360 --> 01:13:03,640
Speaker 2: Like did she harm anybody?

1500
01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:04,639
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1501
01:13:04,720 --> 01:13:07,800
Speaker 1: And like what's like what is he using as as

1502
01:13:07,840 --> 01:13:10,639
Speaker 1: the blackmail? You know, like we need to know what

1503
01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:15,880
Speaker 1: he's using as a blackmail first, like what she actually did?

1504
01:13:16,240 --> 01:13:18,080
Speaker 1: Also what is he making her do? Like what are

1505
01:13:18,080 --> 01:13:18,840
Speaker 1: the requests?

1506
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:19,200
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1507
01:13:19,280 --> 01:13:21,400
Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, that's the other thing, and and also like

1508
01:13:21,439 --> 01:13:24,160
Speaker 10: so it's it sounds like they're like using this in

1509
01:13:24,240 --> 01:13:26,680
Speaker 10: terms of like custody and and things like that, like

1510
01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:27,839
Speaker 10: he wants more custody.

1511
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:30,360
Speaker 6: I don't. I don't know, man, I have no idea.

1512
01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:34,760
Speaker 6: I have no idea. Yeah, situations split on this one. Yeah,

1513
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:35,559
Speaker 6: I agree.

1514
01:13:35,760 --> 01:13:38,240
Speaker 1: I feel like we don't necessarily have enough information to

1515
01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:39,479
Speaker 1: like make a decision yet.

1516
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:42,400
Speaker 10: I agree this is it's just too too unclear.

1517
01:13:42,760 --> 01:13:47,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I would say just like if I had

1518
01:13:47,640 --> 01:13:54,320
Speaker 1: to make a decision, I would say, to blackmail her

1519
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:57,640
Speaker 1: is probably an a hole move. I feel like it

1520
01:13:57,800 --> 01:13:59,880
Speaker 1: probably made sense for her to go to a lawyer

1521
01:13:59,880 --> 01:14:02,080
Speaker 1: of eventually, But again I don't like, you know, it's

1522
01:14:02,120 --> 01:14:04,040
Speaker 1: it's hard to make a decision if we don't know

1523
01:14:04,080 --> 01:14:05,160
Speaker 1: all the information.

1524
01:14:06,200 --> 01:14:08,360
Speaker 10: Or if we can blindly make decisions.

1525
01:14:08,360 --> 01:14:13,120
Speaker 6: And yeah, people blindly make a decision and just rubble.

1526
01:14:12,800 --> 01:14:18,040
Speaker 1: About yeah blind like no consequences.

1527
01:14:18,360 --> 01:14:22,280
Speaker 10: Am I the a hole for telling my husband's female friend.

1528
01:14:22,320 --> 01:14:28,000
Speaker 6: You or not his best friend? Okayop? This is Okayop.

1529
01:14:28,200 --> 01:14:30,519
Speaker 8: I'm Samuel daughter and I'm John Fry, and we tell

1530
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:34,040
Speaker 8: the funniest stories of the Internet. In fact, John, I

1531
01:14:34,080 --> 01:14:36,920
Speaker 8: want to get into spaceship go to Brick and Mars

1532
01:14:37,040 --> 01:14:40,519
Speaker 8: burrow under the depths of the Martian surface and see

1533
01:14:40,520 --> 01:14:44,519
Speaker 8: if they got a Martian that is watching. Okop, Because

1534
01:14:44,720 --> 01:14:48,960
Speaker 8: dang straight, everyone in the world and Mars and beyond

1535
01:14:49,080 --> 01:14:50,040
Speaker 8: should be watching the show.

1536
01:14:50,120 --> 01:14:53,360
Speaker 1: All the universes, you know, Sextron nine. Oh yeah, dude,

1537
01:14:53,360 --> 01:14:58,000
Speaker 1: Cetron nine. Damn, we have a whole fan club over there.

1538
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:03,439
Speaker 1: They do they do your inus? Am I the a hole?

1539
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:08,760
Speaker 10: Am I the anal cavity of the universe?

1540
01:15:09,040 --> 01:15:09,400
Speaker 6: John?

1541
01:15:09,760 --> 01:15:14,760
Speaker 1: I heard on your exploration adventure through the Stars and

1542
01:15:14,880 --> 01:15:17,960
Speaker 1: through the Sky. You found a story that might put

1543
01:15:17,960 --> 01:15:19,040
Speaker 1: a twinkle in my eye.

1544
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:22,519
Speaker 10: Me and my boy Elon, we discovered it's check it out.

1545
01:15:22,880 --> 01:15:23,760
Speaker 6: Elon is the meme.

1546
01:15:23,880 --> 01:15:27,360
Speaker 1: King too is like a hardcore redditor for Shore or

1547
01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:29,320
Speaker 1: someone on his team has to be doing.

1548
01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:30,720
Speaker 6: Something, so there's no way he's not.

1549
01:15:30,920 --> 01:15:34,800
Speaker 10: Am I the a hole for telling my husband's female friend.

1550
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:38,920
Speaker 6: You or not his best friend? And it just seems mean,

1551
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:43,320
Speaker 6: you know, maybe or maybe not. Maybe she deserves it.

1552
01:15:43,400 --> 01:15:44,720
Speaker 6: Let's see, let's get to it.

1553
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:51,519
Speaker 1: That's the TikTok God to decide who is wrong was right?

1554
01:15:52,400 --> 01:15:56,800
Speaker 10: Long story short, my husband has one of those female friends.

1555
01:15:58,240 --> 01:15:59,120
Speaker 6: What are those females?

1556
01:15:59,439 --> 01:16:01,600
Speaker 10: One of those? I guess it's like someone who's like

1557
01:16:01,960 --> 01:16:03,599
Speaker 10: slyly trying to like you know.

1558
01:16:03,520 --> 01:16:04,320
Speaker 6: Easel their way in.

1559
01:16:06,840 --> 01:16:12,680
Speaker 10: I will call her Sarah Sarah going to the grocery

1560
01:16:12,720 --> 01:16:15,519
Speaker 10: store by groceries Sarah.

1561
01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:17,759
Speaker 6: Oh disgust thing. I would never do such a thing.

1562
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:19,240
Speaker 4: For.

1563
01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:22,280
Speaker 10: And I get along fine, but every once in a

1564
01:16:22,280 --> 01:16:27,560
Speaker 10: while she'll make a comment or sit a little too close.

1565
01:16:27,800 --> 01:16:30,280
Speaker 6: Or touch him a little too.

1566
01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:35,120
Speaker 10: Much, or touch at my man's or even compete with

1567
01:16:35,200 --> 01:16:38,880
Speaker 10: me on how close they are or how well she

1568
01:16:39,040 --> 01:16:39,559
Speaker 10: knows him.

1569
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:43,759
Speaker 6: Wow, that's that's a little bit much. That's a little much.

1570
01:16:43,920 --> 01:16:46,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't ever want to say to someone else's

1571
01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:46,920
Speaker 1: significant other.

1572
01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:51,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, like he's mind so much more about him? Do

1573
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:53,640
Speaker 6: you even know blah blah blah about him? Yeah, I

1574
01:16:53,760 --> 01:16:58,320
Speaker 6: bet he would never tell you that. That's a line

1575
01:16:58,400 --> 01:17:02,280
Speaker 6: right there. IULD never tell you. Oh my God showed

1576
01:17:02,320 --> 01:17:04,479
Speaker 6: me deep in the throes of a passion.

1577
01:17:06,400 --> 01:17:09,960
Speaker 10: Now she's one in a big group of about eleven friends.

1578
01:17:10,600 --> 01:17:13,600
Speaker 10: I've talked to my husband about her several times, but

1579
01:17:13,680 --> 01:17:17,360
Speaker 10: it's so many added up micro actions that it's hard

1580
01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:20,920
Speaker 10: to tell her offer one singular thing without looking crazy.

1581
01:17:21,000 --> 01:17:23,519
Speaker 10: So it's like her things are so tiny that it's

1582
01:17:23,560 --> 01:17:26,559
Speaker 10: like it's weird to call her out for one specific thing.

1583
01:17:26,720 --> 01:17:30,439
Speaker 1: I guess it's one of those situations where it's like

1584
01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:35,200
Speaker 1: you're kind of gauging intent, yeah, and like the person

1585
01:17:35,360 --> 01:17:39,400
Speaker 1: knows how to respect the boundary but also disrespected at

1586
01:17:39,400 --> 01:17:42,320
Speaker 1: the same time. It's like towing the line, towing the line.

1587
01:17:42,400 --> 01:17:46,000
Speaker 1: But I am of the opinion, and I'll wait to

1588
01:17:46,040 --> 01:17:48,000
Speaker 1: hear the story. But I'm kind of of the opinion

1589
01:17:48,040 --> 01:17:51,640
Speaker 1: that if it sounds crazy to call someone out, then

1590
01:17:51,680 --> 01:17:53,360
Speaker 1: you're probably being crazy.

1591
01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:58,280
Speaker 10: Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, but let's we'll see, we'll see. Well,

1592
01:17:58,720 --> 01:18:01,080
Speaker 10: this past weekend, the group of friends got together for

1593
01:18:01,120 --> 01:18:03,840
Speaker 10: the first time since we were all boosted. My husband

1594
01:18:03,840 --> 01:18:05,519
Speaker 10: and I eloped a few weeks ago, and this was

1595
01:18:05,560 --> 01:18:07,800
Speaker 10: the first time that our friends were really seeing us

1596
01:18:07,800 --> 01:18:10,400
Speaker 10: since we got married. Sarah came right up and got

1597
01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:13,120
Speaker 10: in our face as the group was congratulating us, to

1598
01:18:13,160 --> 01:18:17,040
Speaker 10: tell my husband how disappointed she was in him for

1599
01:18:17,200 --> 01:18:21,320
Speaker 10: not telling her about our ceremony, not inviting her, and

1600
01:18:21,400 --> 01:18:23,320
Speaker 10: not even sending her a photo.

1601
01:18:24,560 --> 01:18:28,479
Speaker 6: No photos, this wants to be included, Sarah.

1602
01:18:28,560 --> 01:18:32,679
Speaker 10: He told her nobody except our parents knew, nobody was invited,

1603
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:36,840
Speaker 10: and we don't have our professional photos back yet. And

1604
01:18:36,920 --> 01:18:41,519
Speaker 10: then the girl started sobbing how could he do this

1605
01:18:41,560 --> 01:18:43,880
Speaker 10: to her? And she wanted him to be her man

1606
01:18:43,920 --> 01:18:46,679
Speaker 10: of honor when she gets married. She's single, by the way,

1607
01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:50,400
Speaker 10: and he didn't even invite her to his and their

1608
01:18:50,400 --> 01:18:56,160
Speaker 10: friendship now needed some serious TLC to recover. What's TLC

1609
01:18:56,479 --> 01:19:00,280
Speaker 10: tender loving care? Ah, okay, this is in front of

1610
01:19:00,320 --> 01:19:01,719
Speaker 10: a whole group, mind.

1611
01:19:01,560 --> 01:19:02,920
Speaker 6: You that I feel like that.

1612
01:19:03,080 --> 01:19:04,920
Speaker 1: I mean, if no one else is invited, like it's

1613
01:19:04,960 --> 01:19:07,360
Speaker 1: your wedding, you don't owe anyone anything.

1614
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:11,240
Speaker 10: Exactly right now, I couldn't take it anymore and said,

1615
01:19:11,720 --> 01:19:14,360
Speaker 10: he might be your best friend, but you're not his.

1616
01:19:14,920 --> 01:19:17,160
Speaker 6: That was between me and him.

1617
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:21,440
Speaker 10: You you weren't even a consideration.

1618
01:19:21,720 --> 01:19:23,599
Speaker 6: Oh that last one.

1619
01:19:24,479 --> 01:19:28,320
Speaker 10: That was the twist, baby, Oh, that was the twist

1620
01:19:28,560 --> 01:19:29,559
Speaker 10: of the dagger.

1621
01:19:29,880 --> 01:19:30,599
Speaker 1: Damn bro.

1622
01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:34,760
Speaker 11: She's like, I think that's that's a lot, a lot.

1623
01:19:35,479 --> 01:19:38,280
Speaker 11: Both of them are going a little, a little hard man.

1624
01:19:40,040 --> 01:19:43,920
Speaker 11: There was some frosty ooh from the crowd and she

1625
01:19:44,120 --> 01:19:46,759
Speaker 11: left the house. The crowd is split.

1626
01:19:47,280 --> 01:19:49,880
Speaker 10: They were all my husband's friends before I came into

1627
01:19:49,880 --> 01:19:52,840
Speaker 10: the picture, and some think it was uncalled for and

1628
01:19:52,880 --> 01:19:55,040
Speaker 10: that I should have just let my husband handle it.

1629
01:19:55,200 --> 01:19:57,960
Speaker 10: I was mad in the moment, but now I don't know.

1630
01:19:58,280 --> 01:19:59,200
Speaker 10: Did I go too far?

1631
01:19:59,479 --> 01:20:01,439
Speaker 1: I think I think they're right. I think they should

1632
01:20:01,439 --> 01:20:04,000
Speaker 1: have let the husband handle it. Yeah, But honestly, like

1633
01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:09,200
Speaker 1: great burn though great bird, great bird, I will, I

1634
01:20:09,240 --> 01:20:12,400
Speaker 1: will applaud the sickness of the burn, but I think, like,

1635
01:20:12,920 --> 01:20:15,240
Speaker 1: I mean, if this is something that has been bothering

1636
01:20:15,800 --> 01:20:18,719
Speaker 1: the the wife, like the husband should have done something

1637
01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:19,759
Speaker 1: about this situation.

1638
01:20:20,240 --> 01:20:22,000
Speaker 6: That's before That's a very good point.

1639
01:20:22,080 --> 01:20:24,720
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking if my my girlfriend already on I

1640
01:20:24,760 --> 01:20:27,920
Speaker 1: was ever uncomfortable with my relationship with one of my

1641
01:20:28,200 --> 01:20:31,240
Speaker 1: one of my girlfriends like that, we would have talks

1642
01:20:31,280 --> 01:20:35,080
Speaker 1: about like what is appropriate? Yeah, you know between my

1643
01:20:35,200 --> 01:20:38,280
Speaker 1: friend and and I, uh.

1644
01:20:37,840 --> 01:20:41,160
Speaker 10: And you have to communicate that to that person then, yeah,

1645
01:20:41,200 --> 01:20:42,120
Speaker 10: like if it's if it's.

1646
01:20:42,040 --> 01:20:45,360
Speaker 1: At that point exactly exactly, like like, hey, like, you know,

1647
01:20:45,520 --> 01:20:48,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if I feel really comfortable with how

1648
01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:51,439
Speaker 1: you're acting, and you know, neither does my girlfriend. Yeah,

1649
01:20:51,479 --> 01:20:55,959
Speaker 1: so I think it's somewhat on the boyfriend in general

1650
01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:59,920
Speaker 1: or on the husband. Yeah, I think it's somewhat. I

1651
01:21:00,080 --> 01:21:02,639
Speaker 1: think it's somewhat on the husband in general. But I

1652
01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:06,720
Speaker 1: also think that the husband should have spoke up in

1653
01:21:06,760 --> 01:21:11,479
Speaker 1: this situation and and been allowed to to speak up

1654
01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:14,320
Speaker 1: and and say, you know, respond to Sarah himself.

1655
01:21:14,400 --> 01:21:16,760
Speaker 6: Any thoughts, John, Yeah, I kind of agree with you.

1656
01:21:16,840 --> 01:21:19,439
Speaker 10: I think that he definitely should have said something like

1657
01:21:19,520 --> 01:21:22,479
Speaker 10: if it the thing is that it bothered her, so

1658
01:21:22,520 --> 01:21:24,599
Speaker 10: they should have worked on that. Even if before her

1659
01:21:24,760 --> 01:21:27,519
Speaker 10: like little instances were like too small to be a

1660
01:21:27,520 --> 01:21:31,360
Speaker 10: big deal or whatever, like, they should have had that discussion.

1661
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:34,320
Speaker 6: Yeah, I wonder if Op even brought it up to

1662
01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:34,760
Speaker 6: him yet.

1663
01:21:35,800 --> 01:21:38,160
Speaker 1: That's a good question. If she hasn't, that's a good question.

1664
01:21:38,320 --> 01:21:39,920
Speaker 1: Then that's that's like that's kind of on her, that

1665
01:21:40,040 --> 01:21:43,559
Speaker 1: that's on her. You got to communicate that. But uh,

1666
01:21:43,840 --> 01:21:46,960
Speaker 1: you know what, it's always something that you should bring up.

1667
01:21:47,040 --> 01:21:49,320
Speaker 2: Subscribe to Okay, ladies.

1668
01:21:50,160 --> 01:21:53,960
Speaker 1: Follow us on Spotify, go look at the podcast everywhere

1669
01:21:53,960 --> 01:21:56,600
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts, and then if you want to

1670
01:21:56,600 --> 01:21:59,599
Speaker 1: be a real one, subscribe on patreo and help support

1671
01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:02,240
Speaker 1: the show trying to grow or trying to do MO

1672
01:22:02,560 --> 01:22:06,080
Speaker 1: and mo and be like the best fam.

1673
01:22:05,840 --> 01:22:10,560
Speaker 10: Ever Kathy Quigley, Kegan Simmons and Desiree Canterbury.

1674
01:22:11,320 --> 01:22:14,840
Speaker 1: We appreciate you and can't wait for more people to

1675
01:22:14,920 --> 01:22:19,000
Speaker 1: join the Little Little Bake Drunk Community a little O

1676
01:22:19,120 --> 01:22:19,959
Speaker 1: KP Fam.

1677
01:22:20,120 --> 01:22:27,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, I went to the Next Time show. Yeah. Both