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Speaker 1: Hey, this is aam. This is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. But if you want to hear that deliciousness,

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Speaker 1: you know, just stick around for a two minute break

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Speaker 1: with a word from our sponsors.

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Speaker 2: My sister in law is mad about our baby shower invites,

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Speaker 2: so she's not getting one old snap. So my daughter's

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Speaker 2: baby shower is in less than three weeks and I'd

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Speaker 2: like to know if I have enough grounds to uninvite

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Speaker 2: my husband's sister in law or not. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from Champagne Miami one on the r slash

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Speaker 2: Okay Storytime suburdy I twenty three female have sent out

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Speaker 2: my baby shower invites virtually Friday, September twenty seventh, with

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Speaker 2: the following message that was sent to everyone in the

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Speaker 2: group chat. Hey, family, here's the invite for Ensley's baby shower.

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Speaker 2: I hope you can all make it. Let me know

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Speaker 2: if you need me to send you the link for

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Speaker 2: the registry directly. It's a small venue with limited seating,

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Speaker 2: so I asked that you please do not extend the

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Speaker 2: invitation to anyone. Everyone in the family has been accounted for.

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Speaker 2: But if there's any questions, feel free to reach out

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Speaker 2: to me. God bless you guys, and pray you can

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Speaker 2: all make it now. Like the message says, the venue

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Speaker 2: is small with only eighty seats. Only family was invited.

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Speaker 2: Because of how small it is, majority of the family

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Speaker 2: is coming my mother in law and my father in law,

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Speaker 2: sides of the family other than my parents, my sisters

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Speaker 2: and few cousins. I'm not able to invite all of

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Speaker 2: my family because we need to keep it small. The

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Speaker 2: day that I sent my message, my husband's sister in

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Speaker 2: law and that thirty six female called my husband's parents

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Speaker 2: crying because her parents and siblings were not invited to

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Speaker 2: my baby shower, and that the message I put in

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Speaker 2: the group chat was signaling her out because she is

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Speaker 2: the only one with extended family, and that had asked

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Speaker 2: our mother in law, Daphne fifty three female, if she

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Speaker 2: could create a new group chat and include her parents

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Speaker 2: and siblings and resend the invite. Daphne told her that

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Speaker 2: she wanted to be able to do that because of

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Speaker 2: the limited seating and essentially she wasn't going to go

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Speaker 2: over me and my guest list and invite her family

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Speaker 2: without my permission. All of this I found out three

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Speaker 2: days after sending the invite. I got the hint that

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Speaker 2: she was upset with me because we had a church

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Speaker 2: fellowship the following day, Saturday, September twenty eighth, where my

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Speaker 2: husband Christopher thirty one, and his brother Charlie thirty five,

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Speaker 2: Annette's husband, and myself participate in praise and worship. She

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Speaker 2: completely ignored me the whole event, which was really awkward

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Speaker 2: and obvious, And that is what led me to ask

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Speaker 2: Daphne what was up with Annette, and she then told

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Speaker 2: me the phone call they had with her how she

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Speaker 2: was upset with me because I didn't invite her family

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Speaker 2: to my baby shower. So she's invited, but her family

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Speaker 2: is not.

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Speaker 1: If I'm having a baby shower, I don't even care

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Speaker 1: who you are. Just bring me stuff with a baby,

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Speaker 1: because isn't that the whole point of the baby shower too,

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Speaker 1: is it's like we're having a baby. Give us stuff

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Speaker 1: for the baby, please, We're gonna need so much stuff.

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Speaker 2: True, but people want to buy fun stuff for the baby,

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Speaker 2: like clothes and toys, not like diapers and stuff. I

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Speaker 2: mean sometimes they'll bring like a diaper and a fun

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Speaker 2: clothes but like you're gonna have like so many clothes.

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Speaker 1: I brought diapers to like every baby shower I've ever gotten.

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Speaker 2: Really, that's awesome. After a couple of days, I reached

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Speaker 2: out to Annett and sent her this message on October fifth. Hey, Nett,

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to reach out to you and check

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Speaker 2: up on you. I hope all as well. I spoke

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Speaker 2: with Daffine or recently and had asked her if you

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Speaker 2: had mentioned any her you were feeling towards me or

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Speaker 2: Chris after I noticed that you kind of ignored me

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Speaker 2: Saturday and dodged my hug. I asked her with the

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Speaker 2: intention of just wanting to see where you were at

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Speaker 2: emotionally and if we had done anything to make you

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Speaker 2: feel slighted in any type of way, but most of all,

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Speaker 2: not to continue any environment of hostility between us, if

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Speaker 2: there was any. I love you and Charlie and the kids.

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Speaker 2: The last thing I want is for there to be

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Speaker 2: any unspoken offense between us. I just wanted to tell

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Speaker 2: you that you can always come to me and talk

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Speaker 2: to me. I feel like Christopher and I have always

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Speaker 2: given you space to speak into us and our relationship,

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Speaker 2: so I felt like you could come to me for anything,

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Speaker 2: but I know I've never expeccily said that. Or I

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Speaker 2: just wanted to take some time today and let you

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Speaker 2: know that I love you, and I welcome you and

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Speaker 2: invite you to share any feelings and thought you have

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Speaker 2: with me. I promise to listen and consider your heart.

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Speaker 2: I don't want there to be any rift in the

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Speaker 2: family over something we can soothe over between us. Please

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Speaker 2: call or text, or even if you want to get

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Speaker 2: together for some coffee or something. I'd love to very respectful. Text.

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Speaker 1: That was incredibly respectful and emotionally mature, and I mean

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Speaker 1: feels like it was right on the money in terms

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Speaker 1: of what needed to be said given the climate of

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Speaker 1: everybody involved in this story.

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Speaker 2: She still hasn't responded since then, we've seen We've been

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Speaker 2: in the same place three times since and I've reached

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Speaker 2: out to her and sent her this message, and she

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Speaker 2: continues to ignore me. According to my husband, his cousin

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Speaker 2: twenty four female, and my mother in law, this is

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Speaker 2: typical behavior. This whole situation infuriates me. I've tried to

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Speaker 2: reach out and squash the beef, yet she continues to

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Speaker 2: act like a child, ignoring me because her family wasn't

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Speaker 2: invited to my baby shower, which first of all is

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Speaker 2: due to limited seating, and second it's my baby shower.

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Speaker 2: The more I think about it, the less I want

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Speaker 2: someone who is so self centered and bitter at the

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Speaker 2: party I'm throwing to welcome my daughter into the world.

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Speaker 2: And if she hasn't bothered speaking to me now, is

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Speaker 2: she planned to show up and ignore me at my

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Speaker 2: baby shower? But you cannot ignore us Every weekday at

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Speaker 2: three PMPs to you just tap our profile. Should she

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Speaker 2: invite the sister, uninvite the sister? Let me know in

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Speaker 2: the comments.

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Speaker 1: She's already like done everything that she can do in

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Speaker 1: regards to the net's like feelings about the situation. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she sent the perfect message, being like, you know, it's

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Speaker 1: not personal, but I'll take whatever you're feeling and whatever

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Speaker 1: you're thinking, I'll take it with an open heart, and

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Speaker 1: I will hear what you have to say, and I

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Speaker 1: will hear what you're feeling. And then to have no response,

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Speaker 1: that's just how.

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Speaker 2: Anette is, That's just how she goes about that.

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Speaker 1: But and then she said it perfectly, like right in

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Speaker 1: the post where she was like, I don't even know

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Speaker 1: if I want to have somebody like this at the party.

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Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, and you're free to do that. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna make more of a stink by doing it, So

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Speaker 1: you just got to decide, like what do you want?

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Speaker 1: More like, do you want the genuineeness of like excluding

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Speaker 1: this person who you really like have sort of found

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Speaker 1: out is a toxic individual. And that's based on you know,

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Speaker 1: because she won't talk.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she won't.

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Speaker 1: She won't have a conversation with you because it's like

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Speaker 1: she's just now she's If this lingers all the way

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Speaker 1: until the baby shower, you better believe that there's gonna

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Speaker 1: be some kind of event at the baby Showerhette at

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Speaker 1: the center of it. I see that. You know, you're

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Speaker 1: just being pragmatic at that point by uninviting her.

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Speaker 2: Mind you, I'm not even able to buy all of

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Speaker 2: my family because I only have eighty seats, and even

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Speaker 2: though I don't have to. I would patiently explain that

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Speaker 2: to her, but instead she'd rather cry to our in

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Speaker 2: laws and make me seem like some a hole for

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Speaker 2: excluding her family and then try to go above me

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Speaker 2: and have our mother in law send the invite to

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Speaker 2: her family regardless. Also for context. She sent the invitation

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Speaker 2: for my son's birthday party to her family without my permissions,

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Speaker 2: so she's done this before. It seems to me like

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Speaker 2: she wants to have those events centered around her. Honestly,

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Speaker 2: don't want to entertain or enable her childish behaviors, so

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Speaker 2: I want to uninvite her. I'm torn because I don't

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Speaker 2: know how petty she is and will probably try to

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Speaker 2: retaliate by not allowing us or my in laws to

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Speaker 2: see her kids if we don't let her have her way,

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Speaker 2: which she has done a handful of times before. And

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Speaker 2: I don't want to put my in laws in that position.

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Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm tired of her crap.

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Speaker 2: What should I do?

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Speaker 1: It's so unfortunate that you have to be like, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to put them in that position when it's

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Speaker 1: really not you, it's her, and that's the one who's

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Speaker 1: gonna use her kids as a bargaining chip. Like, not you.

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Speaker 1: You don't have any control over that.

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Speaker 2: This happened to my family. My mom and my aunt

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Speaker 2: had like my little other and like my cousin had,

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Speaker 2: like a situation happened between them. My aunt did not

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Speaker 2: talk to my mom or my Grandma for like probably

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Speaker 2: like a year or two did it show up for Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 2: It was kind of awkward, but they needed that space,

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Speaker 2: and then over time they're good. Now they've kind of

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Speaker 2: like figured it out. I think my mom's a very

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Speaker 2: controsnational person. I think my aunt is, but I'm not

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Speaker 2: really sure. But honestly, cut her off. It's the best

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Speaker 2: people you gotta have to have consequences for their actions.

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Speaker 2: And plus if you don't cut off now, think about

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Speaker 2: when your daughter's born.

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Speaker 1: And honestly, like I was surprised when they said eighty

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Speaker 1: people like fit in the you know, the hall or

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Speaker 1: wherever they're going. Like in my head, I was thinking

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Speaker 1: it was like twenty or thirty. Yeah, but eighty people.

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Speaker 1: It's like, all right, clearly they have a lot of family.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, I don't know how much family a

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Speaker 1: net has, but like that's a whole lot of more,

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Speaker 1: even more logistics than are already needed for like eighty

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Speaker 1: people in one play.

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Speaker 2: And it's like your husband's brother's wife's family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like somante enough, we got eighty people. We

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Speaker 1: got enough people here now and we can't really accommodate

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Speaker 1: any more people.

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Speaker 2: Please and she's done this before.

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Speaker 1: End it.

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Speaker 2: Be the one to end it, be the strong person

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Speaker 2: here until she.

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Speaker 1: Comes out and is like, I regret how I handle

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Speaker 1: the situation. I had some growing to do, and I

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Speaker 1: think maybe I met a place where I can accept

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Speaker 1: things that aren't really because it's not in her control. Yeah, No,

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Speaker 1: she can't control whether or not her family can fit

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Speaker 1: in the at the baby shower.

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Speaker 2: Or maybe Op, you should have picked a bigger venue.

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Speaker 2: Maybe maybe it's that you know what.

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Speaker 1: I take it back, Op, you're a monster for choosing

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Speaker 1: somewhere with only an eighty person capacity.

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Speaker 2: You hate your daughter and you don't want gifts for her.

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Speaker 1: She'd add, like an eighty thousand person capacity. She'd have

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Speaker 1: done it on the open ocean and told everyone to

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Speaker 1: bring a boat. No, you're fine, Op. My mother in

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Speaker 1: law refused to respect my boundaries at my child's birth,

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Speaker 1: so I told her to cancel her flight.

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Speaker 2: Petit.

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Speaker 1: We got a juicy one brewin here, folks. I female thirty,

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Speaker 1: and my husband, male twenty eight, are expecting our first

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Speaker 1: child this month. Husband is a wonderful man and I've

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Speaker 1: always felt blessed to have him, and we rarely ever

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Speaker 1: fight or disagree on anything. I generally have a good

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Speaker 1: relationship with his family, but we are not close. We

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Speaker 1: also live a sixteen hour drive away well. By the way,

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Speaker 1: This comes from user bunny Bot ninety ninety nine on

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Speaker 1: the r OK story time subreddit. My mother in law

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Speaker 1: has always said that she likes me, but just seemed

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Speaker 1: cold and cordial with me. She is hard to please

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Speaker 1: and easy to offend in general, but I managed a

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Speaker 1: good relationship so far by always being respectful and mailing

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Speaker 1: her gifts after every time we visit. I do that

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Speaker 1: because I genuinely care, not just to be cordial. Now

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Speaker 1: onto the issue. I'm due in less than a month.

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Speaker 2: Congrats.

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Speaker 1: Sister in law asked when it would be appropriate to

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Speaker 1: book a flight for her mom to come visit us.

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Speaker 1: I hadn't thought about that before. My answer to her

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Speaker 1: was that we haven't had that conversation yet to decide

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Speaker 1: when we will welcome stay in guests. Sister in law

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Speaker 1: sent my husband flight dates that she will be booking

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Speaker 1: for her mom twenty days stay starting two days before

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Speaker 1: my due date. So you're supposed to have a brand

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Speaker 1: new baby, and also the mother in law is gonna

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Speaker 1: stay there for twenty days. That's not a thing that

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Speaker 1: should just happen without the mother's approval. My husband responds

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Speaker 1: with a text saying, let me run this by my

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Speaker 1: wife to make sure she's okay. She has anxiety issues

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Speaker 1: and feels like she may need to have her own

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Speaker 1: space when she's going through childbirth. Thanks, husband, look at

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Speaker 1: that a good husband, consider a guy that's crazy. Nice

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Speaker 1: husband then comes and asks me how I feel about it.

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Speaker 1: Here's how I feel about it. I have severe anxiety

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Speaker 1: surrounding childbirth. I'm going to need to be completely serene

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Speaker 1: and comfortable the days prior to my surgery, which is

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Speaker 1: going to be a C section. I cannot be entertaining

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Speaker 1: a stay in guest during that time. In addition, I

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Speaker 1: will be in a vulnerable state following giving birth, and

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Speaker 1: I will only want my husband around. While we both

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Speaker 1: thought it may be a good idea to have her

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Speaker 1: help early, we both acknowledged that the help we need

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Speaker 1: may not be the same thing grandma has. In mind,

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Speaker 1: we ultimately agreed that we need time alone to learn

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Speaker 1: how to take care of our little one and how

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Speaker 1: to breastfeet. Despite how I feel, I told him that

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Speaker 1: I can see his mom is excited about the baby,

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Speaker 1: so I'll consider a compromise and to let me sleep

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Speaker 1: on it and think about it for a day. Because

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Speaker 1: I wanted to find it in me to accommodate her,

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Speaker 1: not because she will be of any help. In my opinion,

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Speaker 1: op he's just trying to go above and beyond being like,

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Speaker 1: all right, let me see if there's a way we

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Speaker 1: can figure out how to make your mom happy and

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Speaker 1: make me happy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because hopefully the mom's there to help.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Sure, but like, does this sound like she is.

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Speaker 1: Oh, he's literally admitting, like, I'm trying to figure this

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Speaker 1: out just because I want to try to figure it out, not.

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Speaker 2: Just because please the baby. Come.

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Speaker 1: On the next day, mother in law sends him a

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Speaker 1: confirmation of her flight for a twenty days stay, which

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Speaker 1: she plans to stay in our house. No point did

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Speaker 1: the mother in law call to ask me when or

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Speaker 1: if she can come, or what I feel comfortable with.

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Speaker 1: I felt so disrespected and violated, and I started to

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Speaker 1: think of how many more boundaries she will be breaking

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Speaker 1: during her stay. I asked my husband to call her

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Speaker 1: to let her know we would like alone time for

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Speaker 1: a couple weeks with the baby, and to he and

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Speaker 1: she's welcome to come and stay with us for a

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Speaker 1: few days. Afterwards, all other visitors will be welcome at

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Speaker 1: the six to eight week mark. He assured me that

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Speaker 1: he will uphold my boundaries, and he called her to

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Speaker 1: tell her that we decided. She called me immediately after

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Speaker 1: to question me on how dare me wanting to spend

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Speaker 1: time alone and that I'm a walking red flag for

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Speaker 1: doing that.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, you should probably looking at the mirror.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you are the walking red flag mother in law

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Speaker 1: for not respecting op's like pregnancy wishes. She's like, it's

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Speaker 1: my grandbaby that you're talking about. It's like, hmm, it's

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Speaker 1: my actual child. I outrank you. They were just tentatively

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Speaker 1: being like, all right, maybe we'll figure out her. Sister

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Speaker 1: in law's like, by the way, here's the confirmation for

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Speaker 1: the flight. Mother in law has taken. She's gonna be

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Speaker 1: there for twenty days. Mmmm. Maybe maybe we talk about

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Speaker 1: it first. I am hurt. Husband and I got in

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Speaker 1: a fight over it. I acknowledged that much of it

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Speaker 1: was me directing my anger at him. Okay, at least

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Speaker 1: for self aware. I felt he failed me by not

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Speaker 1: immediately protecting me when I got her call. He acknowledges

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Speaker 1: my points, and he told me that he defended me,

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Speaker 1: but he didn't seem to address his mom's disrespect towards me.

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Speaker 1: To be fair, this is the first time he's dealt

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Speaker 1: with a conflict between his family and me. He also

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Speaker 1: told me that she shouldn't have upset me like this

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Speaker 1: while nine months pregnant.

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Speaker 2: I think she's just wanting to see the baby sooner.

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Speaker 1: Yes, she's like, I'm trying to get that baby out

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Speaker 1: as fast as possible.

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Speaker 2: I'm helping you.

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Speaker 1: Like, why did I have to fight with him to

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Speaker 1: get him to react? Is my relationship with his family salvageable?

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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for telling him to ask

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Speaker 1: her to reschedule her flight? Oh, and we do have

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Speaker 1: an update, But like, you're nine months pregnant and his

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Speaker 1: mom is trying to like sort of mom zillah her

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Speaker 1: way into like or I guess grandma zilla her way

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Speaker 1: into the newborn situation where it's like, I mean, you

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Speaker 1: deserve whatever you feel you need as a new parent

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Speaker 1: or new mother, Like yeah, yeah, And like they kind

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Speaker 1: of made it clear from the beginning of the story,

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Speaker 1: it's like she's kind of high maintenance. It's like not

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Speaker 1: easy to please, very easy to upset, like quick to

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Speaker 1: like start, and it's like, you want three weeks of

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Speaker 1: that immediately after having your baby. So it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course you're not the ahole for not wanting that's

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Speaker 1: that's absurd. Hey, lovely Reddit strangers, your support has overwhelmed

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Speaker 1: me with peace. Thank you. I'm not proud to admit

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Speaker 1: that I got super stressed out about this that I

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Speaker 1: lost a full night's sleep over it. I stayed up

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Speaker 1: thinking of how unsafe I would feel if my husband

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Speaker 1: doesn't know how to handle this behavior.

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Speaker 2: I feel like he's had oning it well. In that

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Speaker 2: conversation that they had on the phone, he was overwhelmed

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Speaker 2: by whatever she was saying. He had a limited amount

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Speaker 2: of time and space to say his concerns, and that

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Speaker 2: was just the only thing. Yeah, I think he's doing

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Speaker 2: a great job.

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Speaker 1: You woke up early and found me on the couch.

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Speaker 1: His first words to me were sorry, I failed you.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like he figured it out pretty quick. He acknowledged

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Speaker 1: that he should have never allowed it to get to

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Speaker 1: a point where a member of his family crossed a

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Speaker 1: boundary or stressed me out, especially while pregnant. I followed

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Speaker 1: with apologizing for directing my anger at him. It was

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Speaker 1: the first time I've raised my voice with him during

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Speaker 1: an argument. You both try our best to are you healthy,

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Speaker 1: So I apologized for that. I also told him that

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Speaker 1: I had some time to process my thoughts overnight. Everyone's

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00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,040
Speaker 1: comments helped me sort through them and realized that I

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Speaker 1: just felt like I was having to defend myself from

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Speaker 1: his family's behavior on my own. That should have never

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00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,920
Speaker 1: been the case. It should have been handled before I

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Speaker 1: even heard about it. I made my expectations clear that

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Speaker 1: my and my baby's peace and safety will be a priority,

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Speaker 1: and anyone who dares pick up the phone to call

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Speaker 1: me and disrespect me will not be allowed in my

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Speaker 1: presence at all. That's what we call good boundaries. I

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Speaker 1: also told him that I regretted making an exception for

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Speaker 1: her to come in two weeks after birth because I

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Speaker 1: prioritized her over to my child by exposing my child

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Speaker 1: to illness. That exception is off the table now. I

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Speaker 1: explained to him that if his mother dared to treat

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Speaker 1: me in any certain way, it's because he indirectly allowed

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Speaker 1: it by not being good at drawing boundaries. She shouldn't

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable crossing her son and questioning me on decisions

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Speaker 1: we made together. She is betting that he will let

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Speaker 1: her get away with it. But you know what, I'll

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00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,160
Speaker 1: always let you get away with Joining us live on

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Speaker 1: YouTube everyone weekday at three pm. Just tap our profile.

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Speaker 2: The husband is doing great, making sure everything's good. It

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Speaker 2: seems like they're on the same page.

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Speaker 1: Well, how do we feel about op being like if

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Speaker 1: the mom continues to bother me, like I put that

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Speaker 1: on my husband. I believe that's what she was like

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Speaker 1: because he's because he's fault for not setting up a

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Speaker 1: strong enough boundary that she doesn't feel like she would

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Speaker 1: cross it. But I feel like this might be the

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Speaker 1: type of mom or mother in law where it's like

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Speaker 1: she's just crazy. She feels like she's the queen of

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Speaker 1: the family unit here, so it's like, sure, you have

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Speaker 1: a boundary, but it's my boundary to break because I

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Speaker 1: gave birth to you.

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Speaker 2: I would have put all of that on your husband.

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Speaker 2: The mother is her own person. She decides what she

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Speaker 2: will and will not do. Your husband is doing everything

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Speaker 2: he can to keep her away from you and give

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Speaker 2: her that boundary exactly once.

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Speaker 1: Once it's made clear that he's set the boundary right

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Speaker 1: and like that, he's put it out there that like

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Speaker 1: you are not to be disturbed, and you are priority one,

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Speaker 1: and like you know what, You're not coming two weeks

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Speaker 1: early anymore. Baby. He is most important. My wife is

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00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,160
Speaker 1: most important. Her well being in this time matters more

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00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,320
Speaker 1: respect that if she continues to disrespect it. I don't

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00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:10,360
Speaker 1: really see that that shouldn't be his fault. He agreed

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00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,240
Speaker 1: he was sad though he lost his father recently and

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Speaker 1: is desperately trying to have his family together. Yeah, that's

406
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Speaker 1: a rough one. It broke my heart to see him sad.

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00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 1: I asked him if he is agreeing to please me

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Speaker 1: or if he's truly on the same page with what

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Speaker 1: is the right thing to do. He told me that

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00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,960
Speaker 1: he believes he didn't prioritize me enough and that that

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Speaker 1: will change. He promised none of this will ever happen again.

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Speaker 1: I asked him for an action plan of what the

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Speaker 1: change looks like, and he said he will be addressing

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Speaker 1: his family about all of it. He hasn't talked to

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Speaker 1: his mother since to address things. It's been one day

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Speaker 1: since our conversation. I trust that he doesn't promise me

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Speaker 1: anything that he won't follow through with, but I can't

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Speaker 1: help but feel anxious about it. I will be telling

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Speaker 1: my baby doctor that only my husband is allowed in

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Speaker 1: my recovery room and making sure my child's safety comes

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00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,640
Speaker 1: before all. I will update after he talks to her

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00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 1: or if anything event happens. For those who are asking

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00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:05,040
Speaker 1: about my family, they also live sixteen hours away, and

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Speaker 1: that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 2: Nice wow, good job because we're both the same page

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Speaker 2: and keep it up.

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Speaker 1: Hey, good luck with the baby. Husband's got your back.

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Speaker 1: That's what matters most. Good luck with the baby. We

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00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,479
Speaker 1: wish she was safe, healthy recovery, and we hope your

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00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 1: baby turns into like the next you know, Moon King,

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Speaker 1: President of Space and Time.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law kept stealing our babies first, so

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Speaker 2: I stop including her in anything.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, wait wait, she's not stealing the babies though, right,

435
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 1: just stealing the first. That was a real high intensity

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Speaker 1: first sentence.

437
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 2: So my mother in law watches our daughter nine months

438
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 2: half of the time during the week while both me

439
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,800
Speaker 2: and my husband work. We split it up between my

440
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:52,200
Speaker 2: mom and his and his grandma when neither of our

441
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 2: moms can't. So there have been several times she does

442
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,680
Speaker 2: things and thinks it would be a good idea, And

443
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 2: I know she just wants to enjoy her time with

444
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 2: her granddaughter, but it's like she doesn't think or ask

445
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,200
Speaker 2: if maybe we would want to do that thing first.

446
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,560
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Zombie ok seventy sixteen

447
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 2: on the r slash Okay Storytime suburn. One thing was

448
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,720
Speaker 2: she said she was going to take her to the

449
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 2: zoo just to get out and do something for the day.

450
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,480
Speaker 2: The problem being me and my husband were planning on

451
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 2: taking her that weekend or the next as it just

452
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,880
Speaker 2: started cooling down and she's actually old enough to somewhat

453
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 2: enjoy it. So my husband thought it was a great idea,

454
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 2: and I was upset because that's her first time. I

455
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 2: just wanted to take her. He didn't see a problem

456
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,760
Speaker 2: with it because they would get to spend time together

457
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,119
Speaker 2: and we can take her another time. And I understand

458
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 2: she may act the same as her first time when

459
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,639
Speaker 2: we take her, but it's just the first time is different.

460
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is just a little different, isn't it.

461
00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:53,080
Speaker 2: Luckily I had the day off unexpectedly and was able

462
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 2: to go and didn't have to tell them not to go.

463
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 2: I knew it would be a mess if I said

464
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 2: I didn't want them to go, so onto the photos.

465
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 2: On Monday, she asked us to come over to show

466
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 2: us something. I figured it was a new toy or something.

467
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,720
Speaker 2: She pulls out her computer and starts pulling up photos.

468
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 2: She took our daughter to get some photos done as

469
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 2: a cute surprise for us, and thought it would be

470
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 2: something nice for us.

471
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 1: Okay, now that I actually would agree, that is a

472
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 1: nice cute surprise, because from everything I've heard about getting

473
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 1: those like little toddler like infant pictures done, it's a nightmare.

474
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,840
Speaker 2: Again, this is something she knew we were talking about

475
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 2: doing very soon, and even long before. We had said

476
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 2: we wanted to go during fall to get professional pictures

477
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 2: of her and all of us as she would be

478
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 2: able to sit up, which is now already standing and

479
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 2: trying to walk. But we had been wanting to do

480
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 2: this for a while, and she knew not to mention.

481
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 2: We just wanted to do fall all photos, then Christmas

482
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 2: as the seasons come, and maybe she'll actually be walking

483
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 2: at Christmas. But she not only did photos of her

484
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,880
Speaker 2: first Christmas photos which we didn't get to see her

485
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 2: playing with the presents or ornaments. We just saw photos

486
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 2: of it. Just we missed all of it. Of course,

487
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 2: my husband thought they were cute and said we can

488
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,360
Speaker 2: still take her to get the photos. He doesn't understand

489
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: why I'm upset. He says, I should just let it

490
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 2: go because we can still do these things and we

491
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 2: will miss a lot of her. Yes, since we work.

492
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 1: I am seeing a pattern, and I think that it's

493
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,640
Speaker 1: bad on the grandparent, But I think that the pictures

494
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,000
Speaker 1: doing the pictures, I think that's a blessing in disguise,

495
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 1: because I really have heard that it's just like a nightmare,

496
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,919
Speaker 1: stressful thing for the most part, or you know, just

497
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,879
Speaker 1: wanting them to come out right. I guess it's different

498
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 1: depending on what your actual temperament is. But like, come on,

499
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: taking your kid to the zoo for the first time,

500
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: that's big and seeing like animals and like, come on,

501
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 1: like that's a huge thing.

502
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 2: But this is something we can control. Yes, we can't

503
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 2: control not seeing her first steps or something, but this

504
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,199
Speaker 2: we can't. So I work three minutes from the studio.

505
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,080
Speaker 2: She got them done at the session was twenty to

506
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,400
Speaker 2: thirty minutes long. I get an hour lunch. She had

507
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 2: made the appointment for my typical lunchtime. I would have

508
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 2: been there if I knew. So am I overreacting? And

509
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:09,239
Speaker 2: should I just let it go?

510
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 1: You're not crazy, Like there's a pattern here. The grandma's

511
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 1: doing this on purpose. But I think best course of

512
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 1: action might be to let it go, but don't forget it,

513
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 1: like keep that tab in your brain of like, oh,

514
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 1: I know this is what she does. She has a

515
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,760
Speaker 1: habit of trying to do this cause you're gonna run

516
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: out of first at some point. Right.

517
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 2: To add more background, this is one of my replies

518
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,879
Speaker 2: to another comment and wanted to add this to the

519
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 2: post to help with backstory. I mentioned this inviting me

520
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,119
Speaker 2: on lunch outings and such when I'm on my lunch

521
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,120
Speaker 2: and just down the road from where they are multiple times,

522
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 2: and she has not invited me to go out when

523
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 2: they have been doing things. She completely ignores what I

524
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,160
Speaker 2: want or say on several things we have set clear

525
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 2: boundaries on, and we live in a place where there

526
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 2: are plenty to do, and they go out a lot.

527
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 2: The zoo is over an hour away, way out of

528
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,120
Speaker 2: the way, and there are things she could absolutely take

529
00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 2: her out that are closer.

530
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: And especially at that age, it's like you can have

531
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 1: a great time, Like if you're the grandma, you can

532
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 1: have a wonderful experience with that kid anywhere, go to

533
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: the park.

534
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 2: So maybe the better way to post is the fact

535
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,120
Speaker 2: she continues to ignore what I want, Like she goes

536
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 2: out of her way to do things I want to

537
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 2: do with her, and she knows of her plans and

538
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:24,240
Speaker 2: wants to take her out on her first to do them,

539
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,640
Speaker 2: such as other things she's done. I showed her an

540
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,239
Speaker 2: outfit and I was going to buy her, and she

541
00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:33,040
Speaker 2: went out and bought it first before I could, and

542
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 2: took photos of her in it and posted it for

543
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 2: me to see at work that she had done this

544
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 2: and thought it was something nice to do so I

545
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 2: didn't have to worry about getting the outfits and making

546
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 2: her sit for the photos. I believe that's what I'm

547
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 2: more upset about. And these are just two instances she

548
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 2: again doesn't listen. Maybe I should have added more background.

549
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,640
Speaker 2: It's pretty clear from comments and posting and reading more

550
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,919
Speaker 2: of what people say that I have an issue with

551
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 2: my husband. I knew this already that this is why

552
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 2: we have started therapy together. Whether my mother in law's

553
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 2: intentions are good or bad. My husband is the biggest issue.

554
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,640
Speaker 2: We make the plans and boundaries, and he just disregards them.

555
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 2: If she brings up something, he disregards my feelings because

556
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 2: he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. So the husband

557
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,000
Speaker 2: is taking priority of the mother rather than his own wife.

558
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 1: With certain things. Maybe again, with certain things, I can see, like,

559
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: all right, it's not really a big of a deal.

560
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 1: Like the pictures, I think. I think that's a perfect

561
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 1: like dichotomy. It's like the pictures versus the zoo. The pictures.

562
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 1: I'm like, we can do another photo session and the

563
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 1: baby's gonna act like it's the first time. Baby's not

564
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 1: even gonna remember that this happened. It's gonna be the

565
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: exact same thing. It's just gonna be our first. We

566
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 1: can consider it our first photo session with the baby.

567
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 2: Just another edit to clarify and add. For both of

568
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,400
Speaker 2: these things, we did not have concrete plans set the photos.

569
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 2: We book weeks in advance for this weekend. When she

570
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 2: knew we booked some, she went to a studio and

571
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 2: asked to be squeezed in. She told us how she

572
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,320
Speaker 2: was so happy the lady had a last minute cancelation

573
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 2: and was able to let her come and get photos.

574
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 2: This was two days after she found out we made

575
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 2: an appointment for photos. So it seems like you can't

576
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 2: just squeeze in something you have to like Planet in

577
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 2: advance as well as the zoo. We said we are going,

578
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 2: just didn't know what day it would be, on Saturday

579
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 2: or Sunday. Also to add, I have stopped sharing so

580
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 2: much with my mother in law. I've told my husband

581
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 2: to do the same. He ends up telling her anyways.

582
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,919
Speaker 2: He tells her everything. It's been a huge issue for

583
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 2: a long time that he shares everything with her, including

584
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 2: intimate details about us and me, especially when I gave birth.

585
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 2: I have told him not to do this again. As

586
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 2: I said, it's pretty clear I have a bigger issue

587
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 2: with my husband. That's why we are starting therapy together

588
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 2: to work on it. And you can work on yourself

589
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 2: by listening to us every weekday at three pm PSD.

590
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 2: Just tap our profile.

591
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,679
Speaker 1: I don't know if necessarily your biggest problem actually is

592
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 1: the husband or the first If it's if it's how

593
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 1: deep the hooks of the mother in law are in

594
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 1: your husband, like the sneaky Yeah, it goes back to

595
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: the mother in law for sure. Like, I don't think

596
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 1: somebody it's really hard to just completely unlearn a dynamic

597
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 1: you have with somebody like a parent, you know, without

598
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 1: some serious like mental footwork that I mean, therapy helps

599
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: with that. But I think you know the couple syrap,

600
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: you'll probably hope, Yeah, he needs to have your back

601
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:34,120
Speaker 1: more as like his wife. But I think you might

602
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 1: be under selling how like this guy grew up in

603
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: an environment where this woman was his Yeah, I mean

604
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 1: it was his mom that was the controlling presence throughout

605
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 1: his entire like life growing up. Those hooks are in

606
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: real deep.

607
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think really talking to the mom and

608
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 2: honing in on boundaries. I've noticed this pattern. This is

609
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 2: what needs to happen, And I would like, I think

610
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 2: it would be smart if you and your husband went

611
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 2: to her together and talk to her about that, and

612
00:27:58,800 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 2: she'll probably just.

613
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 1: Be like, I'm doing that. You gotta be like, yeah,

614
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,320
Speaker 1: but you are, so you're saying you don't even realize

615
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: you're doing it.

616
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,159
Speaker 2: Little update, I'll just keep it short. So last night

617
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 2: we went over to talk to his parents again and

618
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 2: they would not even look at me. The absolutely knew

619
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 2: I was the one upset about the photos and not

620
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 2: my husband. They didn't talk to me at all either,

621
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 2: only talked to me through my daughter. We established the

622
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 2: boundary again and said we did love the photos, just

623
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 2: wish we would have asked is all or told us

624
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 2: the biggest problem is the communication. But anyway, they did

625
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 2: say hardly anything, just kind of ignored us and nodded,

626
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,159
Speaker 2: but mainly just stared at her daughter and played with

627
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,639
Speaker 2: her while we said we wanted to talk about this

628
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 2: with him. Me and my husband had a long talk

629
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: as well, and did something he mentioned that I didn't

630
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 2: even think of could be a big part of it.

631
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 2: He mentioned how him and his sister were both adopted

632
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 2: and his mom could not have her own. He was

633
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 2: almost one when adopted, So this goes way way back,

634
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 2: way way back. So since this was the first time

635
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 2: she had with a newborn who's trying to make up

636
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,840
Speaker 2: for something, still doesn't make it okay, And she still

637
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 2: got those first with her children regardless of their age,

638
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 2: but maybe makes me sympathize a bit. Still not okay,

639
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 2: as I said, to not be communicating, but maybe gives

640
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: more insight into things. Definitely complicates things. Doesn't excuse the behavior,

641
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 2: just helps identify it.

642
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't make it okay, but it makes it

643
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 1: less not okay, John here og host. We're gonna get

644
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 1: back to these stories, but a quick three minute break

645
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 1: from hops from our sponsors.

646
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,760
Speaker 2: I caught my sister having an affair with her boss,

647
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 2: so I told her boyfriend.

648
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: Nice job. I like that already.

649
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 2: I female twenty three was eighteen at the time, have

650
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 2: an older sister twenty five at the time named Stephanie,

651
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 2: and her and her boyfriend Trench have been together for

652
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 2: four years and have a baby girl, Miranda. Trench has

653
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 2: no idea that Stephanie has been having an affair with

654
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 2: her boss for at least two years and they are

655
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 2: planning on getting married next year. By the way, this

656
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 2: comes from Positive Working thirty forty one on the r

657
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 2: slash Okay story, Tom Suburdy, So, I had known about

658
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 2: the affair for three months. I found out when I

659
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 2: was ordering door Dash on Stephanie's phone and notice incoming

660
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 2: work emails from her boss pretty much revealing their whole affair.

661
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 2: Stephanie knows I know because I confronted her about it

662
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 2: and told her I didn't want to get involved and

663
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 2: trusted that she would sort this out with Trench, as

664
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 2: this wasn't my business. Okay, real quick on that if

665
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 2: you found out that your cigaret billding is happening affair ultimatum,

666
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 2: you haven't so this time to tell them or I'm telling.

667
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 1: Them, Yeah, I'd be like you have until end of

668
00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:44,800
Speaker 1: business day today, Like you have no excuse, Like you

669
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 1: need to own up to this immediately. Also, how embarrassing

670
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 1: to get caught through work emails. Come on, dude, it's

671
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 1: work related. We're gonna be going to work later.

672
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: I am an avid SIMS player. I stream SIMS gameplay,

673
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 2: and any of my free time that I have, I

674
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 2: am playing the SIMS. My sister and I get into

675
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 2: petty fights, but nothing nearly as bad as the one

676
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 2: we had. After I expressed my concern about the affairs

677
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 2: she was having with her boss and told her my

678
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 2: thoughts about the situation and how bad I felt for

679
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 2: her Trench, who is madly in love with her, she

680
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 2: flew into a rage and said it's not my position

681
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 2: to comment on other people's relationships and I should mind

682
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 2: my own business and stop being a nosy B word.

683
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 2: I let it go and forget about it until I

684
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 2: got on SIMS that night and my account was logged out.

685
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: So I logged back in and my account was overridden.

686
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 2: This means that all my progress before the override was gone. Okay,

687
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: we're going to war right now. Okay, I know you're mad.

688
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 2: You're not gonna go over here and get on my

689
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:55,520
Speaker 2: SIMS and do all that. Everyone put out your gameplay

690
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 2: hours and SIMS right now. You saved over my SIMS files.

691
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 2: I have an ex that never played video games whatsoever,

692
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 2: and dumped probably like hundreds of dollars into SIMS, into mods,

693
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 2: just into different mods and everything.

694
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: You have to buy mods for SIMS now, she did.

695
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 2: She loved that thing.

696
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 1: You just get all the cheats, all the cheats are free.

697
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 2: And she was so addicted that she had to put

698
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,160
Speaker 2: on her iPad like and only have it around her

699
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 2: whenever she went back home. She couldn't have it around well,

700
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 2: she had to like lock it up. She was like,

701
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 2: every tiem in Georgia, I'll do it, but when I'm here,

702
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 2: I can't do it.

703
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 1: Geographically, locking your ability to play SIMS is wild, that's crazy.

704
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people are playing SIMS right now.

705
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 2: What's your game you're playing around Minecraft.

706
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:33,960
Speaker 1: If I had like a Minecraft world that I have

707
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: built for years and someone deleted all that, wow, I

708
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 1: would be uh livid.

709
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 2: I was blind with rage, and I confronted my sister

710
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 2: about it, who simply said, if you get involved in

711
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 2: my business, I'll get involved in yours.

712
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 1: Yo, Like, you are not in a position to start

713
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: making power plays. You are cheating on Trench and like

714
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: you think that you just won, Like, oh, that'll teach

715
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: her not to mess with me. Like she's gonna mess

716
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: with you back now. And you're the one in the wrong,

717
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 1: because Trench, do you even know how in love with you?

718
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: Trench is? Trench is madly in love with you.

719
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 2: I stream the SIMS on Twitch and make YouTube videos

720
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 2: and I have a few thousand subscribers and I average

721
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 2: around three k views on my streams on all platforms combined.

722
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,240
Speaker 2: I make good amount of money from Twitch, and although

723
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 2: it's not my main source of income, it really helps

724
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 2: me financially and it's really nice having the extra money.

725
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 2: So without my SIMS account, I cannot stream. So this

726
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 2: was like a business thing. This is like as if

727
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,560
Speaker 2: someone like deleted our notion and we had no way

728
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 2: to read stories for okay, storytime.

729
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 1: She's playing around with the money now now only is

730
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: she playing around with her Opie's heart because she must.

731
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 1: She gotta love the Sims if you invest time into

732
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 1: it because you love doing it. Now, she's messing with

733
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 1: the money because she's got a little baby stream running.

734
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: Who knows what that could turn, you know, take off into.

735
00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 1: But if you overwrite everything with your lame brain, like

736
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:04,600
Speaker 1: basic Sims profile the Sisters, then yeah, you're messing up

737
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: the money.

738
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,800
Speaker 2: Dude, that's wild, OPI. You still have a way to

739
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 2: get back from this. I have so many brain ideas,

740
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:12,319
Speaker 2: but you're good on that part.

741
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:14,040
Speaker 1: But I just want to know where Trench is at.

742
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: I've got such a strong mental image of Trench in

743
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: my head right now, and he's such a cool guy.

744
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like loving. He'll wake up in the morning,

745
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,320
Speaker 2: make our girlfriend breakfast.

746
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 1: He like really knows how to make like only a

747
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 1: couple things really well, but he makes them really well.

748
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 1: Trench is all of us, and it's full of love.

749
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,720
Speaker 2: I was destroyed about this. I spoke to my parents

750
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 2: about the situation and they were sympathetic. As you know

751
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 2: that I stream it to my subscribers and I love

752
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 2: the game ever since it came out. But they were

753
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 2: confused why she would do such a thing. And I

754
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 2: told them about Stephanie's affair and they were livid. They

755
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 2: love Trench and have always been extremely supportive of Stephanie

756
00:34:50,719 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 2: and Trench's relationship. They love him like a son, and

757
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:57,360
Speaker 2: they advised me to tell him before they got married.

758
00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 2: This ultimatum put me in a very uncomfortable position, but

759
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 2: I knew he deserved the truth, and I wanted to

760
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 2: get back on my sister. It's a little bit of

761
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 2: a revenger. I called Trench and asked him to meet

762
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 2: me for coffee, and that's when I told him what

763
00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 2: I knew. He was absolutely crushed. So she took it

764
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 2: into her own hands and let her know. She made

765
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,319
Speaker 2: her own sims in life said if I can't playing

766
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 2: on my iPad, I'm just gonna plain in her life.

767
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 1: She really started moving. She started moving the pieces around

768
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: by herself. She's like, all right, we're gonna She's gonna.

769
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: I wish I could do a simlish impression like and

770
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 1: have this guy being like upset the sister's so dumb?

771
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: Me sure ma or by four me Charla?

772
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:39,279
Speaker 2: I have no idea what this is.

773
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 1: I don't know either. I hope that sounded like simbwish,

774
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,320
Speaker 1: but man, I feel for Trench. Trench deserves better.

775
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 2: He was historical right there in the cafe. Trench and

776
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 2: I drove to my parents' house where Stephanie was to

777
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 2: pick up Miranda as my parents were babysitting her while

778
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 2: Stephanie went to work. Trench and I walk in and

779
00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 2: Stephanie can immediately tell what has happened by his red

780
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 2: puffy face that shows he's obviously been crying. But instead

781
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 2: of apologizing or attempting to fix their relationship, she turns

782
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 2: to me begins cussing at me and hysterically screaming all

783
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 2: kinds of obsidizy, all kinds of words, until my parents

784
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 2: intervene an attempt to calm her down. Trench looks completely

785
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:23,280
Speaker 2: defeated and takes Miranda off my mother and leaves the house.

786
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 2: At this point, Stephanie is still yelling at me, and

787
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 2: my parents tell her to leave. And this is when

788
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 2: Opie's eighteen years old.

789
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, which shout up for having more emotional maturity at

790
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,720
Speaker 1: eighteen than your sister did at twenty five. Like that's big,

791
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 1: big ups to you. That's a horrible situation to be in.

792
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,320
Speaker 1: Though I got that they had that four year old kid,

793
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,920
Speaker 1: and it came back to me as you started reading that,

794
00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, no, they have a kid too,

795
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: which makes it extra baggy that she's doing this with

796
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,560
Speaker 1: her boss. Like Trench is there, man, I bet Trench

797
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: is a good dad. I'm really gassing up Trench in

798
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 1: my head, like, I have no idea Trench. We don't

799
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 1: know anything about Trench. We just know that Trench is

800
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 1: having the worst time of his life right now. And

801
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 1: I don't think Op has done anything wrong here. It's

802
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 1: different if it's a complete stranger, right, if it's people

803
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: that you have nothing to do with, part of me

804
00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: is more sympathetic to the approach of like kind of

805
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:15,520
Speaker 1: minding your own business, because you know, there's a lot

806
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 1: of stuff going on in the world every day, and

807
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,879
Speaker 1: it's like you can't take it upon yourself to try

808
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 1: to manage everybody's you know, stuff, right to some extent.

809
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: But if it's somebody like this, where it's like it's

810
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 1: your sister and this guy they've been dating for four years,

811
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: they have a kid. Now, that's you know, your niece

812
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: and and your sister's doing something to put that relationship

813
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 1: in jeopardy. I think you definitely have almost a responsibility to,

814
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:39,799
Speaker 1: like let the truth be known.

815
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,680
Speaker 2: By the way, you can join us live every weekday

816
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 2: on YouTube at three PMPST. Just tap our profile and

817
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,319
Speaker 2: there's another relevant update. And here it is. I thought,

818
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 2: instead of replying to each individual comment, I would make

819
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 2: an edit to explain some questions I'm beginning. No, I'm

820
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,440
Speaker 2: not in contact with my sister or brother anymore, and

821
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 2: neither is anyone else in my family, which I don't like.

822
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:02,439
Speaker 2: But I don't feel like I need to get into

823
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 2: that right now. This happened when I was eighteen. I'm

824
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,839
Speaker 2: now twenty three, and there was some confusion as I

825
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 2: posted this story in another thread a while ago, but

826
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 2: no one commented, So I tried this one, and I

827
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,720
Speaker 2: still wanted clarity. Trench and I are now very close

828
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:20,760
Speaker 2: and lived together and co parent Miranda, who is six

829
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 2: years old.

830
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: Now, oh, okay.

831
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 2: For those commenting about my brother, you were in fact correct.

832
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:29,959
Speaker 2: He was cheating on his girlfriend at the time, which

833
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 2: explains why he was so defensive about outing cheaters. I

834
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:36,359
Speaker 2: guess are runs to the family but thank you for

835
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 2: all the kind words and advice. I have also edited

836
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:42,080
Speaker 2: this to make it more coherent. So I think she's

837
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 2: closer with Trench now and earlier the brother was like, no,

838
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,080
Speaker 2: don't do that. But the brother had an incident happened

839
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 2: where he was like, this is just really bad. I

840
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:51,399
Speaker 2: don't want to deal with it.

841
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: Brother's like, whoa, you're outing cheaters. I don't like that.

842
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 1: And it's not even for any particular reason. I just

843
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 1: don't like it. Please don't look into my stuff. Yeah,

844
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 1: so others a cheater. Sister's a cheater? Ope, squeaky clean.

845
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: Spending your life with Trench. They live together and they're

846
00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 1: co parenting the kid, which that rocks kid gets the

847
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 1: best version of her mom, which is actually her younger sister,

848
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:17,479
Speaker 1: who is Opie. That's a complicated little family, what's it called?

849
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,800
Speaker 1: The family nucleus that she's rocking with is a little

850
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 1: a little funny, But if it's what's best for her,

851
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:25,760
Speaker 1: then that's all that really counts.

852
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 2: Congrats, congrats on all that. Hopefully your SIMS is going

853
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:29,399
Speaker 2: all right too.

854
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 1: Are OPI and Trench gonna inevitably become like an item?

855
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:33,360
Speaker 2: Looks like it?

856
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: Let us know how Trench is doing. Trench. If you're

857
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 1: out there watching this, leave a story update us. If

858
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 1: you are Trench and you are seeing this, we love

859
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:45,720
Speaker 1: you and want to hear from you. My husband cheated

860
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,839
Speaker 1: on me over a decade ago. I accidentally revealed it

861
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:53,040
Speaker 1: to his mother. I'm so interested to see how that's possible.

862
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: Can you pass a salt? He cheated on me? Thank you?

863
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 1: Thirty one female. I am married to my high school sweetheart,

864
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,760
Speaker 1: Spencer thirty two male, and we have two kids together,

865
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 1: a three year old boy and a one year old girl.

866
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: As I mentioned, Spencer was my high school sweetheart. We

867
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 1: went to colleges on opposite coasts and tried to do

868
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 1: long distance. By the way, and this comes from a

869
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: user diligent Coconut three eight nine on the r slash

870
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 1: okay storytime subreddit. So when I came home for Christmas

871
00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:23,560
Speaker 1: break my sophomore year of college, Spencer broke down in

872
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: tears the first time he saw me and confessed that

873
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:28,799
Speaker 1: he cheated on me with a girl from college. He

874
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 1: said it only happened a few times and that he

875
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,319
Speaker 1: felt terrible about it and that he only wants to

876
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 1: be with me. I was devastated and ended the relationship

877
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 1: then and there. We stayed friends over the years and

878
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 1: ended up getting back together when we both moved back

879
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: to our hometown after college. I was able to forgive

880
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: Spencer for his mistake, considering he was only twenty at

881
00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 1: the time. He told me the truth when we reunited,

882
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: and he showed genuine remorse for what happened. It took

883
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,560
Speaker 1: me a few years, but I completely trust him now

884
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,360
Speaker 1: and know that he'll never be on faithful in our marriage.

885
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 1: I think a large part of it was that he

886
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 1: got into a top college IVY league and was a

887
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:09,479
Speaker 1: star baseball player, and it all got to his head

888
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 1: considering he was so young. To be honest, I am

889
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 1: over what happened in college, but Spencer still beats himself

890
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 1: up for it because he believes cheating is one of

891
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 1: the worst things that you can do to somebody, and

892
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: he would be right, ladies and gentlemen, it is one

893
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,399
Speaker 1: of the worst things you can do. He always says

894
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: that he'll never forgive himself for hurting me so badly,

895
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,480
Speaker 1: and that he doesn't understand how I could trust him

896
00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 1: after he did that. I've told him that he should

897
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 1: leave it in the past, and I think about what

898
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,400
Speaker 1: a good husband and father he is now, but he

899
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 1: still dwells on it every once in a while. Yeah,

900
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 1: I think genuinely remorseful.

901
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, you shouldn't hold that. You shouldn't.

902
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 1: I actually love my mother in law and feel close

903
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: to her because I've known her for so many years.

904
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: She's a successful attorney in our city, and she not

905
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,720
Speaker 1: only encouraged me to apply to law school, but also

906
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,959
Speaker 1: has become my mentor in the field. She always wanted

907
00:41:57,960 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 1: Spencer and I to be together and was upset when

908
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,560
Speaker 1: we broke up. She kept in touch after the breakup

909
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 1: and always got coffee with me when I was home

910
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:08,319
Speaker 1: to talk about my course schedule, internship opportunities, and law

911
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:12,360
Speaker 1: school applications. Neither of my parents are professionals, so she

912
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: was a huge resource for me at the time. She's

913
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 1: been a great mother in law to me and a

914
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 1: wonderful grandmother to my children. Over the weekend, we went

915
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 1: to my mother in law's house for dinner and drinks.

916
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 1: My mother in law and I were both drinking quite

917
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 1: a bit of wine and she was telling me that

918
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:29,760
Speaker 1: one of her nieces is going through a difficult breakup

919
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 1: and is heart broken. My mother in law was in

920
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 1: a serious relationship before she met my father in law

921
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 1: and said she was crushed when that ended. I said,

922
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: I know what that's like, because when Spencer and I

923
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 1: broke up in college, I was a total mess. I

924
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,319
Speaker 1: cried all the time, lost weight, and was thinking about

925
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 1: it NonStop for about a year. My mother in law

926
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 1: was shocked by this. She said she didn't understand why

927
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,439
Speaker 1: I was heartbroken when I was the one who ended

928
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: things with him. I explained that I didn't want to

929
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: end the relationship, but I felt like I didn't have

930
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,239
Speaker 1: a choice at the time. This seemed to alarm her,

931
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 1: and she asked what I meant. I said that the

932
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,280
Speaker 1: breakup was over a decade ago and that we've worked

933
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 1: through it, so it's not worth rehashing. I was just

934
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 1: trying to like, oh, you know what, Yeah, it's honestly,

935
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: move on. We don't have to talk about it.

936
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 2: She's fishing for information here.

937
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: She knows. She's like, oh, no, I shouldn't be talking

938
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: about this right now. I shouldn't. My mother in law

939
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 1: then asked if it was because Spencer cheated on me.

940
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:27,399
Speaker 1: I think my face gave it away because she immediately

941
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 1: started apologizing to me and saying that she was so

942
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 1: disappointed in him. Oh no, Now she's getting it from

943
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 1: both parties. It's like Spencer won't let it go, and

944
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:39,359
Speaker 1: she's like, it's okay, I forgive you, let's move on.

945
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 1: And now his mom's gonna be like, I can't believe

946
00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 1: he did this to you. I'm so sorry. Is there

947
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:43,839
Speaker 1: anything I could do?

948
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 2: So she just came up with something said it and

949
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 2: she like found out from the facial reveal.

950
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like she asked. She was like, well,

951
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 1: was it. It wasn't because Spencer was cheating, right, and

952
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: then she must have given one of these like, um no,

953
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: it's like, oh no. I asked why her mind immediately

954
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: went to cheating and she said that around the time

955
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: we broke up, a girl from his college sent her

956
00:44:06,680 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 1: a long email saying that Spencer was a duck and

957
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: that he cheated on his girlfriend with her. Apparently, my

958
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: mother in law confronted Spencer about it, but he insisted

959
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 1: that the girl was just bitter that he wouldn't go

960
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 1: out with her, and that he never cheated on me.

961
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 1: Oh my god. He told the truth to Opee, but

962
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:24,920
Speaker 1: he didn't tell the.

963
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,719
Speaker 2: Truth to his mom, probably because he was afraid it

964
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 2: was like a good move that he told the girlfriend

965
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 2: in the first place, but he's probably afraid of what

966
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 2: his parents would think.

967
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 1: If there is one person who needs to be told,

968
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,040
Speaker 1: it's the girlfriend, right, But then like yeah, he probably

969
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 1: was like I already feel terrible about this, Like do

970
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: I want my own parents to just like grill me

971
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:47,200
Speaker 1: on this when it's like I've already grilled myself. I'm

972
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 1: fully cooked, I'm ready to serve, like I'm done. My

973
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,280
Speaker 1: mother in law asked if the girl was telling the truth,

974
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:56,080
Speaker 1: and I said yes. I explained to my mother in

975
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 1: law that Spencer was young at the time, that he

976
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 1: told me right away, and that he he feels so

977
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 1: bad about it to this day. I also said that

978
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 1: we were a part and our brains weren't fully developed,

979
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 1: and I honestly don't think it says anything about the

980
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 1: man or husband he is today. I told my mother

981
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 1: in law that he's kind to me and that I

982
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,040
Speaker 1: trust him fully, but she seemed very upset by this news.

983
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 1: My mother in law said she tried to raise him

984
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:21,920
Speaker 1: to respect women and always told him that cheating was wrong.

985
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 1: She also said that she was upset because he lied

986
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,480
Speaker 1: to her about it. Apparently he was devastated about the

987
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 1: breakup but always blamed it on the distance. I reminded

988
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: my mother in law that it was over a decade

989
00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,399
Speaker 1: ago and that I've gotten past it, but she kept

990
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 1: saying how upset and disappointed she is. But we will

991
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 1: never be upset or disappointed. If you join us live

992
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 1: on YouTube every weekday at three pm, just tap on

993
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,440
Speaker 1: our profile. There is a relevant update. But let's discuss.

994
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 1: I mean, where are we at.

995
00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,560
Speaker 2: It's of that the mom is now piecing all the

996
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 2: puzzles together after ope and the husband have done so

997
00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 2: much work together. It is very, very tough spot to

998
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 2: be like, oh, this is my kid and they did this, but.

999
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:06,479
Speaker 1: Ten years ago, that's like a whole other existence ago,

1000
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 1: a whole lifetime ago.

1001
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 2: I found out a family member cheated on another family

1002
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,439
Speaker 2: member that's really close to me, and I was like, oh, well,

1003
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 2: because I knew that that family member was such a

1004
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,359
Speaker 2: different person than they are now that I was like,

1005
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 2: I can't hold that against them.

1006
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 1: Did They just kind of like it was just something

1007
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,840
Speaker 1: that maybe you don't want to say, it makes sense.

1008
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 2: It was like you were doing this this this. Of

1009
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 2: course you were probably also doing that. You were like

1010
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 2: you were into the other drugs you were doing and

1011
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 2: then like it's like, oh, that's so tough as the mom.

1012
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,399
Speaker 1: I think people need to respect op though, like for real,

1013
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 1: like need to respect that op is okay with it,

1014
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,879
Speaker 1: that she's moved beyond it and forgiven him for it,

1015
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,839
Speaker 1: and like they have found, you know, what works for them,

1016
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:52,240
Speaker 1: and and you know, it didn't happen. The forgiveness didn't

1017
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 1: happen in the moment. It wasn't just immediately, Okay, I

1018
00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 1: forgive you.

1019
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 2: It took years. They had to wake up every day

1020
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 2: and forgive one another. It was it was. It was tough.

1021
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:03,879
Speaker 2: Hear me out. Mom talks to the sun, they hash

1022
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 2: it out, they get all out.

1023
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 1: Those are the two that have the problem right now,

1024
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 1: and they should not try to make it involved in

1025
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:12,640
Speaker 1: the relationship that Opina has with her husband. But let's

1026
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,880
Speaker 1: find out what they do. I told Spencer about the

1027
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,640
Speaker 1: conversation with his mother, and he was upset about it.

1028
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: He hates disappointing his mom and wish I had kept

1029
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 1: it to myself because it happened so long ago. I

1030
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 1: explained that she asked me to my face and that

1031
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 1: I didn't feel comfortable lying, and he said I could

1032
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:32,240
Speaker 1: have tried harder to dodge the question. He has since

1033
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 1: changed his stance and said I was right to be

1034
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 1: honest and that it's not fair of him to expect

1035
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 1: me to hide my feelings and never talk about okay good.

1036
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:41,720
Speaker 1: I was about to say no, no.

1037
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:45,360
Speaker 2: Initially he's probably like, ah, you should have tried harder,

1038
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 2: But then after thinking about it, he was like.

1039
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 1: He was like, what do you mean, No, that's wrong.

1040
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 1: I'm glad that you were honest with my mother. Like

1041
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,680
Speaker 1: he's pretty aware that's good to be honest. I kind

1042
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:57,600
Speaker 1: of miss him being upset with me because he's been

1043
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 1: in a shame cycle for the last few days. He

1044
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: keeps saying that he feels terribly for hurting me, that

1045
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:05,920
Speaker 1: he doesn't deserve me, and that he's humiliated that his

1046
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,239
Speaker 1: mom knows they're getting coffee later in the week, and

1047
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:09,840
Speaker 1: I have a feeling she's going to give him an

1048
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 1: earful and make him feel even worse. I didn't mean

1049
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 1: to air out our dirty laundry, but she asked me directly,

1050
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to lie. Also, my face completely

1051
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 1: gave it away. So am I the A hole. I

1052
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 1: feel like I messed up, but would appreciate your thoughts

1053
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:23,880
Speaker 1: and advice on how to move forward.

1054
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 2: You're not the a hole. You were just explaining what

1055
00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 2: happened to you. I honestly think the husband should go

1056
00:48:28,840 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 2: through some therapy and learn how to forgive himself.

1057
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, that would be helpful a lot of these situations,

1058
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:36,720
Speaker 1: just like therapy would be one of the best things.

1059
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,759
Speaker 2: You're gonna yourself with carrying all this stress around in

1060
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:43,319
Speaker 2: your heart. Literally, the more stressful you are, the sooner you.

1061
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:47,200
Speaker 1: Willed, your DNA unravels faster, the more stressed out that

1062
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:49,719
Speaker 1: you are, and once the DNA is unraveled, it does

1063
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,719
Speaker 1: not reravel. I think that in terms of like what

1064
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 1: OP should do, I think you just need to take

1065
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 1: a step back and emphasize to your husband that, like one,

1066
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,839
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, that therapy advice is great, and then

1067
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 1: that this is a thing between him and his mom.

1068
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,160
Speaker 1: At this point, she's already forgiving him. She's like, I'm

1069
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:08,799
Speaker 1: ready to leave this behind. We were different people in

1070
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 1: different times, and we are not living in that time anymore.

1071
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,399
Speaker 1: It's like that has no bearing on our present day

1072
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:17,800
Speaker 1: relationship because she you know, she doesn't think he's a

1073
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 1: person who would ever do that again, and he needs

1074
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 1: to be able to let go of it if they

1075
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 1: want to move forward, because it sounds like op is

1076
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 1: really like sort of turned off by this, like you know,

1077
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 1: the shame guilt cycle. She's like, honestly, She's like, honestly, dude,

1078
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 1: you're kind of cringing me out, like I don't even care.

1079
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 1: You need to stop caring, like or this is not

1080
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: gonna work.

1081
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:38,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're obsessing over the past. Were live in the moment.

1082
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 2: Give yourself a breath.

1083
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 1: Sam, here ogi hus. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1084
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors. First, I

1085
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,760
Speaker 1: called out a home at a party and accidentally revealed

1086
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: to everyone that he was cheating Two birds with one

1087
00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 1: stone two for one combo special. Hi everyone, this is

1088
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 1: my first time posting here. Please bear with me a lull. Yesterday,

1089
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 1: Mom took us to a friend's birthday party. She wanted

1090
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 1: to introduce us to her friends for the first time

1091
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 1: since my brother and I moved to Europe less than

1092
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:08,320
Speaker 1: a month ago and started living with her. In the party,

1093
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 1: I met a gay couple let's call them Rob and Nick.

1094
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:14,000
Speaker 1: They are wonderful and I ended up spending time with them.

1095
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 1: And by the way, this comes from user Victoria C.

1096
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 1: Ninety eight on the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So

1097
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: I walked away a bit to go to the barbecue

1098
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,920
Speaker 1: line to make myself a plate oh delicious. While I

1099
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 1: was waiting for the meat, I overheard two men talking

1100
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,319
Speaker 1: about hooking up with a girl in a car. I

1101
00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 1: ignored it because I didn't know who they are, and also,

1102
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:35,480
Speaker 1: that's none of my business.

1103
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 2: Well, Jim, locker room talk happening, Just a little.

1104
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,880
Speaker 1: Locker room talk in the background of the barbecue line.

1105
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:45,040
Speaker 1: A little while later, one of the men sat across

1106
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,240
Speaker 1: the table from me and Rob and Nick. Rob wrapped

1107
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:51,000
Speaker 1: his arm around his husband and kissed his cheek, you know,

1108
00:50:51,239 --> 00:50:55,480
Speaker 1: like normal couples do. Then the guy protested loudly, saying,

1109
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 1: are you seriously doing this? There are kids around?

1110
00:50:58,880 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 2: They're so gay.

1111
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:03,800
Speaker 1: Oh, you're too gay for the children. Think of the children.

1112
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 1: It called us by surprise, and the couple didn't know

1113
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 1: how to react. So I said, you didn't seem to

1114
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 1: care if there were kids around when you were talking

1115
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,480
Speaker 1: about effing a girl in the car. What I didn't

1116
00:51:14,560 --> 00:51:18,399
Speaker 1: know was that the guy's wife was sitting besides him,

1117
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 1: and well you can guess what happened. Afterwards. He started

1118
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 1: to yell at me, calling me a liar. Then my

1119
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 1: mom and brother came over to protect me. Rob and

1120
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:30,879
Speaker 1: Nick entered the fight, and his wife was lashing out

1121
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 1: at him, screaming at the top of her lungs, was

1122
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,840
Speaker 1: even throwing stuff at him. It was a huge fight.

1123
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 1: The birthday girl got overwhelmed and ended the party earlier.

1124
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 1: I immediately apologized to the birthday girl. She said she understands,

1125
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:45,560
Speaker 1: but I should stay out of it, especially since I

1126
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 1: didn't know them very well. Nick and Rob can defend themselves.

1127
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 1: Some people are bombarding my mother's phone saying things like

1128
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 1: I should have ignored and step away with Rob and

1129
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: Nick from this guy because he was and didn't know

1130
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,880
Speaker 1: what he was talking about. Others say I should apologize

1131
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 1: to everyone at the party for ruining the day, and

1132
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 1: others support me and said I did the right thing.

1133
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,799
Speaker 1: I feel awful for my mom and the birthday girl.

1134
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 1: It was definitely not a good first impression. All right,

1135
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 1: let's dig into this update. Hello again, guys, I wasn't

1136
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,479
Speaker 1: expecting this to get so much attention, so I thought

1137
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: I would answer a few questions and give you all

1138
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 1: a little update. First of all, the married straight couple

1139
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:25,640
Speaker 1: were not friends with my mother or Nick and Rob.

1140
00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,360
Speaker 1: They don't know each other. They only have the birthday

1141
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:32,279
Speaker 1: person as mutual friends. I didn't say anything loudly, it

1142
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:36,640
Speaker 1: was just casual. The man's reaction was what caught everybody's attention.

1143
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:41,280
Speaker 1: Rob's immediate reaction was shock, and Nick busted out laughing.

1144
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:44,440
Speaker 1: He called the guy a disgusting hypocrite. They walked my

1145
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:47,279
Speaker 1: family back to the car. I started to apologize, but

1146
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:49,839
Speaker 1: they stopped me and thank me for having their back.

1147
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,839
Speaker 1: I was invited to go clubbing with them. Yes, and

1148
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 1: that's gonna be a lot more fun than whatever this

1149
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 1: event was. I guarantee it.

1150
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 2: People in life were gonna hate you, They're gonna not

1151
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,399
Speaker 2: be mutual about you, and they're gonna love you. Stick

1152
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:02,160
Speaker 2: with the people that love you. If you make those

1153
00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,200
Speaker 2: kind of decisions in life and you have people that

1154
00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:06,320
Speaker 2: back you up for it, stick with those kind of people.

1155
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:09,279
Speaker 1: Stick with the people giving you the backup for real,

1156
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 1: for real, and then tell everyone else back up. Because

1157
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 1: I got my backup with me, that's right. Okay, Now

1158
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 1: the actual update. I sat down for a conversation with

1159
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:19,839
Speaker 1: my mother. I said that if she wanted, I would

1160
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:22,759
Speaker 1: apologize to all people present at the party, but she

1161
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,880
Speaker 1: refused because she knows that it wasn't what I wanted

1162
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 1: and told me that she raised a young woman to

1163
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:31,280
Speaker 1: stand up in the face of injustice and prejudice. Boom,

1164
00:53:31,719 --> 00:53:33,239
Speaker 1: w Mom, let's go.

1165
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 2: We watched the movie and you did what the movie

1166
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 2: said to do exactly.

1167
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 1: But I had to do something about a few people

1168
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:44,080
Speaker 1: because I unintentionally did plant the chaos seed.

1169
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 2: You did.

1170
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 1: That sounds like such a fantasy.

1171
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 2: Thing you shouldn't have to apologize for.

1172
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, the chaos seed sounds like something you go on

1173
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:52,359
Speaker 1: a quest for. You didn't go on a quest for this.

1174
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 1: You didn't ask for this. Then we called the baday girl,

1175
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 1: who I will call Carol. I started to apologize again

1176
00:53:58,080 --> 00:54:00,600
Speaker 1: and told her more clearly what had happened. I offered

1177
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 1: to take her out buy dinner and stuff, but she refused.

1178
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 1: Carol said that she understood why I did it and

1179
00:54:06,719 --> 00:54:09,560
Speaker 1: is glad that I defended her friends. She also knows

1180
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 1: that it got out of control because most people were

1181
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 1: drinking for a while. She asked me to talk with

1182
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 1: the wife and tell her everything, so I did. The

1183
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 1: wife is the most relevant person in this conversation. I

1184
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,919
Speaker 1: think like the wife is the one who really needs

1185
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 1: to know. The wife was a little more upset and

1186
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:31,200
Speaker 1: very rude, but I kept my patience. She said I

1187
00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 1: didn't have the right to expose her marriage problem in

1188
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:38,480
Speaker 1: a table full of people, which again she didn't do that.

1189
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 1: She didn't know that it was your marriage. She was

1190
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 1: blowing up by saying this.

1191
00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:45,920
Speaker 2: But this woman has the right to be pissed because

1192
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,840
Speaker 2: she is going now probably hopefully through a divorce.

1193
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, but don't be mad at me. Say thank you

1194
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 1: to me. It's understandable that you're gonna get some of

1195
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 1: the residual like angst and anger, but like you should

1196
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:01,440
Speaker 1: be like thanking this op or allowing you to not

1197
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:04,360
Speaker 1: waste any more time with this garbage man who is

1198
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:07,120
Speaker 1: cheating on you with women in cars. I stated that

1199
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 1: this was never my intention. I had no idea that

1200
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:13,840
Speaker 1: they're married. She didn't even look in our direction, so

1201
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 1: I didn't bother to introduce myself at the table. But

1202
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,320
Speaker 1: I felt the need to apologize to her once again.

1203
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,839
Speaker 1: I told her everything I've heard and described the guy

1204
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:25,440
Speaker 1: her husband was talking with. Turns out they're brothers, two

1205
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:30,600
Speaker 1: stinky apples from the same stinky tree. Also, I insisted

1206
00:55:30,960 --> 00:55:35,520
Speaker 1: she should have a conversation with Nick and Rob. If

1207
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 1: I hadn't said anything, she would have allowed her husband's

1208
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:41,799
Speaker 1: disgusting behavior. It's true Opie was standing up for Nick

1209
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:45,360
Speaker 1: and Rob. Opie was standing on business and the wife's

1210
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 1: you know, bad marriage got caught in the crossfire. But

1211
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:51,360
Speaker 1: maybe tell your husband, you know, or hopefully your ex husband,

1212
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 1: to not be a home of you know, a piece

1213
00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,560
Speaker 1: of garbage. If you've got dirty secrets to keep tucked away,

1214
00:55:56,719 --> 00:55:57,719
Speaker 1: don't be a loud mouth.

1215
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is saying in the Bible. Don't like poke

1216
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 2: at the specs of someone else. Like let's say, like

1217
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:04,840
Speaker 2: there's a speck in your eye, and I'm like, dude,

1218
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 2: you got a speck in your eye, you gotta get

1219
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 2: it out. Well, I have a log in mind.

1220
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,359
Speaker 1: I would be way more concerned visually with a log

1221
00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 1: in your eye exactly.

1222
00:56:12,760 --> 00:56:15,239
Speaker 2: Basically, like, you shouldn't be talking about other people's crap

1223
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:18,239
Speaker 2: if you have like a whole lot going on for you.

1224
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:20,440
Speaker 1: Yes, that like the glass house. Don't throw stones in

1225
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:24,399
Speaker 1: glass houses. It was a long call, and she led

1226
00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:26,840
Speaker 1: me to believe that this was the last straw on

1227
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 1: their marriage. I won't say anything else because, like I've

1228
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:33,319
Speaker 1: said enough. At the end, I think she realized that

1229
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,760
Speaker 1: I didn't have bad intentions, but we won't be friends,

1230
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 1: which is fair. It's like, I don't think you necessarily

1231
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:41,600
Speaker 1: want to be friends with the person that just reminds

1232
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 1: you that your husband like cheated on you and that

1233
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 1: you have a failed marriage. Like you might just not

1234
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: want to not for any fault of ops, Like you're

1235
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:53,399
Speaker 1: probably a great person, but she just wants to put

1236
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,719
Speaker 1: all that behind her, and you're always gonna be a

1237
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:59,000
Speaker 1: reminder of that. Lastly, my mom took some action. She

1238
00:56:59,120 --> 00:57:02,040
Speaker 1: wrote a lengthy text to her friend group, and to

1239
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:04,840
Speaker 1: sum it up, she was disappointed at how many people

1240
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 1: were quick to call me out but didn't seem to

1241
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:11,479
Speaker 1: care that their friends were victims of home. I wasn't

1242
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 1: the one screaming and fighting. The party could have continued,

1243
00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 1: but it became a big mess because of how the

1244
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 1: men were. They tried to help out but ended up

1245
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:22,280
Speaker 1: making it worse. But you know what's never gonna make

1246
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 1: things worse y'all joining us every weekday on YouTube live

1247
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 1: at three pm. Just tabar profile and you're in and

1248
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 1: there is another relevant update. But where we at so far, Like.

1249
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,360
Speaker 2: Everyone that matters in the story has held Opie's back

1250
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 2: and I'm cool with it.

1251
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, Mom's got her bag, and being like, I'm disappointed

1252
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:44,840
Speaker 1: in the partygoers for trying to put all the blame

1253
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:45,120
Speaker 1: on you.

1254
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,720
Speaker 2: The party girl herself was cool with it. She was

1255
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 2: like understandable, well than to have any hate towards.

1256
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 1: Party Girl is commendable. Hosts saying I've got no animosity

1257
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:57,560
Speaker 1: towards what has happened here, but you do need to

1258
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 1: talk to the wife who you did get a little

1259
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 1: Maybe she was a little feisty with Opie, but it's

1260
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:06,919
Speaker 1: to be expected, like she's going through a lot and

1261
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:10,480
Speaker 1: you never know it's you know, she was also married

1262
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:16,040
Speaker 1: the nasty, lame home guy that stinks already overall not

1263
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 1: a bad op is clearly in the right boat in

1264
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:22,280
Speaker 1: this situation. So the final update here she stated that

1265
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:26,120
Speaker 1: her daughter me already apologized and reached out to those

1266
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 1: who got truly affected by the situation, and they should

1267
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 1: all do the same. Some people ended up Leaving the chat,

1268
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:35,920
Speaker 1: a woman said, my mother was enabling my behavior, and

1269
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 1: one of them wants me to stay away from all

1270
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:40,680
Speaker 1: of their social gatherings because I'm a trouble maker. A

1271
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 1: few others are still weighing in. I think this will

1272
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:46,240
Speaker 1: drag out a little longer, which and that does. But

1273
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:49,280
Speaker 1: I can't imagine a group of people being like, oh, this,

1274
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:52,480
Speaker 1: this girl is a troublemaker. It's like, no, the guy

1275
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: who cheated on his wife and was being openly homes

1276
00:58:57,320 --> 00:59:01,280
Speaker 1: is the troublemaker. Not ope, like com on less than

1277
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 1: a month in a new country and I already messed up.

1278
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 1: Not gonna lie. I feel bad. Yes, I did stand

1279
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 1: up to defend a lovely couple, but it doesn't feel

1280
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:13,080
Speaker 1: good to know all the trouble that followed. Anyway, I

1281
00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 1: think that's it. I'll try to stay away from all

1282
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,920
Speaker 1: of it. Thanks for reading and for all the advice.

1283
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 2: I wouldn't put that on your shoulders, because to be

1284
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:23,840
Speaker 2: a good person and have good character and integrity, you

1285
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 2: have to do hard things. This is a hard decision.

1286
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:29,440
Speaker 2: It short term did not turn out well, but in

1287
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 2: the long term of life, if you keep making these decisions,

1288
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 2: your life will be more integral and more solid, and

1289
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 2: he'll be around people that support you and your view

1290
00:59:39,240 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 2: on the world. So I say, it's a win. It's tough.

1291
00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:44,320
Speaker 2: You're going through this right now, we're good.

1292
00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:46,760
Speaker 1: I think part of it might be she's also newer too.

1293
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,040
Speaker 1: She's like she's been there for a month, so like,

1294
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 1: I think everyone in the group's gonna be quicker to

1295
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 1: point a finger at her. Oh so she shows up

1296
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:57,320
Speaker 1: and now and now their marriage is gonna end, and

1297
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 1: it's like, no, he wrecked his own home. He took

1298
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:04,920
Speaker 1: a sledgehammer to the structural supports of his home by himself.

1299
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:07,280
Speaker 2: I hope it works out, though, Op. I hope you

1300
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 2: have fun in the country.

1301
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:10,400
Speaker 1: It's just gonna take more time, and there'll be people

1302
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,080
Speaker 1: in that group that I'm sure support you, and there'll

1303
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 1: be people who don't want you, and you'll be able

1304
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:17,600
Speaker 1: to find something and that is the end of that story.