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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Wednesday Bible Study. Thank you for taking

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Speaker 1: time to be with us today. My name is Rick Burgess.

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Speaker 1: In case we haven't met, host of the Rick Burgess Show.

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Speaker 1: That is my day job. You can catch that show

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Speaker 1: Monday through Friday in all sorts of ways, live, archive, podcasts,

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Speaker 1: you name it. Find out all the different ways to

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Speaker 1: get the show if you're interested by going to Rick

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Speaker 1: burgesshow dot com. This Wednesday Bible Study is part of

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Speaker 1: a much larger strategy that we started in about six

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Speaker 1: years ago, and that is Themanchurch dot Com. If you

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Speaker 1: go there you'll see the strategy. It features two main pillars,

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Speaker 1: and that is high challenge in the form of conferences

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Speaker 1: in the form of individual gatherings at the local church

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Speaker 1: and churches all over the country. And that's the high challenge.

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Speaker 1: Nothing really new there. But also we provide a part

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Speaker 1: that has been sorely missing in men's ministry, and that

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Speaker 1: is how equipping discipleship. And we do that in the

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Speaker 1: small groups in forms of forty week curricula. We have

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Speaker 1: six of those in the form of individuals getting together

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Speaker 1: and even smaller groups with our thirty one day or

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Speaker 1: our forty day devotionals, we have those. We even have

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Speaker 1: a full length book called Men Don't Run in the Rain,

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Speaker 1: which I wrote about my father, which you also can

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Speaker 1: use as a resource. So with Father's Day it'll be

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Speaker 1: coming up again this summer. Some great things there for

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Speaker 1: the men of your life at Themanchurch dot com. But

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Speaker 1: more importantly, the strategy is there for the local church.

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Speaker 1: If we can be of assistance to you, please contact

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Speaker 1: us at themanchurch dot com. In this Bible study was

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Speaker 1: part of you know, working with that formula at my

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Speaker 1: own local church eleven years ago, and it took us

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Speaker 1: some you know somewhere between five to seven years to

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Speaker 1: kind of develop it and then launched it in twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty and now here we are six years later, over

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Speaker 1: two thousand churches implementing the and we also send out

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Speaker 1: part men off our team to go to those individual

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Speaker 1: churches just as you saw in the New Testament, check

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Speaker 1: on them, speak to the men there, and continue to

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Speaker 1: offer that high challenge followed by high equipping. High challenge

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Speaker 1: followed by high equipping. And if we can send one

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Speaker 1: of our guys to your church to help you, just

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Speaker 1: go to the Manchurch dot com and contact us. So

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Speaker 1: right now we are studying Paul's prison letters. We are

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Speaker 1: in Ephesians. If you want to go ahead and turn.

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Speaker 1: We'll be in Ephesians five again this week. Today though,

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Speaker 1: we're going to start in verse twenty two, and we

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Speaker 1: will finish chapter five today. If you've missed any of

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Speaker 1: this study or any of our other studies, go to

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Speaker 1: themanchurch dot com. You'll see that media button. There you

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Speaker 1: can find the archives, either to watch on video or

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Speaker 1: just listen to on an audio file. So let's open

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Speaker 1: up in a word of prayer and we'll jump into

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Speaker 1: Ephesians chapter five, starting in verse twenty to Lord, today

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Speaker 1: we go back to your design. So many times we

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Speaker 1: are so prone to wonder. We always want to try

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Speaker 1: things our way, only to lead to frustration and hopefully

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Speaker 1: eventually crawl our way back to you and say, let's

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Speaker 1: try it your way. Today we will. We will take

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Speaker 1: on something that you have deemed as holy, something that

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Speaker 1: you ordained, and that is marriage and your standard for marriage,

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Speaker 1: and distinct, very distinct, beautifully distinct roles of the husband

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Speaker 1: a man and the wife a woman. Help us Lord

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Speaker 1: to properly discern how you have designed it. And in

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Speaker 1: your name we pray Amen. Yeah, that's pushback right there,

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Speaker 1: isn't it That that that'll get you emails when you

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Speaker 1: start saying that that God, the creator of human beings

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Speaker 1: and everything that we know, the beginning and the end,

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Speaker 1: that God designed marriage and has instructed us on exactly

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Speaker 1: how it won't how he wants it done. And so

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying today's Bible study will be popular, but

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Speaker 1: I would say that today's Bible study will be accurate,

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Speaker 1: and we can decide whether we think we have better

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Speaker 1: ways to do things than God. I've certainly tried that.

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Speaker 1: Solomon tried that in the Book of Ecclesiastes. And I

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Speaker 1: think that if I actually had a conversation with someone

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Speaker 1: about that yesterday when they were talking about Solomon, all

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Speaker 1: the things that he he tried and all the things

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Speaker 1: that he did, and he he said, there's a season

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Speaker 1: for this and a time for that, And I said, well,

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Speaker 1: I must also caution you, though, that at the end

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Speaker 1: of this book Solomon says that everything that he attempted

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Speaker 1: to do didn't go well. It was like chasing a

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Speaker 1: vapor and it didn't really bring him anything other than disappointment.

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Speaker 1: And then he said, at the end I think is

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Speaker 1: the whole real theme of Ecclesiastes, The whole role of

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Speaker 1: man is what it should have been in the very beginning.

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Speaker 1: Is what He tried to tell us to fear him

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Speaker 1: and do what he says. And this happened to marriage

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Speaker 1: in the garden, didn't it. God said, here's how I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna set it up. I want you all to trust

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Speaker 1: me that I know what's right and I know what's wrong,

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Speaker 1: and the way that I say to do things is correct.

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Speaker 1: So if you'll stay away from the tree there in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the garden, because that tree's going to

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Speaker 1: enable you to have a say in what's right and wrong.

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Speaker 1: You got to trust me that if you'll that I

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Speaker 1: know what's right and wrong better than you do. And

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Speaker 1: of course we were fooled by the serpent who came

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Speaker 1: in and said, well, why why does he have to

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Speaker 1: say what's right and wrong? Can't you have a say

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Speaker 1: in it? Why don't you want to do it the

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Speaker 1: way you want to do it? He just doesn't want

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Speaker 1: you to have that opportunity. So we had the first

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Speaker 1: marriage fail when the woman decided to convince her husband,

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Speaker 1: who should have never ever folded on this If he

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Speaker 1: really loved her and love to God. She convinced him,

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Speaker 1: and he went along with it and did not stop it.

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Speaker 1: Failing in his headship and she failing as his helper.

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Speaker 1: They decided to defy God and decide for themselves what

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Speaker 1: was right and wrong, and they begin to blame everyone

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Speaker 1: but themselves, including blaming God himself for creating this marriage

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Speaker 1: in the first place. And we've been doing that ever since.

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Speaker 1: So the apostle Paul today in his book to Ephesus,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so excited just to share this with you.

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Speaker 1: My wife and I we have an opportunity coming up

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Speaker 1: in fall, the fall of twenty twenty six, Lord Willing

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Speaker 1: that we're going to take some friends and as part

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Speaker 1: of the day job the Rick Burgess Show, and we're

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Speaker 1: going to go on a cruise. And one of the

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Speaker 1: things we're going to get to do on this cruise

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Speaker 1: is visit the ruins of Ephesus, and I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: I've been told that the seven Churches, most of the

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Speaker 1: ruins are kind of disappointing, but Ephesus is really the

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Speaker 1: most the most impressive because we have so much of

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Speaker 1: it still there. Uh. And so we're extremely excited about that,

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Speaker 1: and I thought, I'm going to get to go to Ephesus,

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Speaker 1: and here I am studying a letter from the apostle

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Speaker 1: Paul to to the church at Ephesus. So so, anyway,

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Speaker 1: so Paul gets the opportunity to kind of bring this

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Speaker 1: back around and h and he's saying, Hey, I want

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Speaker 1: to talk to the husbands and and talk to you

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Speaker 1: about you and your wives, and I want to remind

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Speaker 1: you of how God set up marriage, and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to encourage you to do things God's way. Now that

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Speaker 1: you might ask the question, does God really know what

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Speaker 1: he's doing? Okay, and now we we do chuckle in here,

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Speaker 1: and I chuckle with you, but apparently we don't. We

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Speaker 1: don't really think he does. Because if we really thought

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Speaker 1: that he knows what he's doing, and we really thought

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Speaker 1: he was right, then we would do things his way,

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Speaker 1: but we rarely do. Uh So, So anyway, in this situation,

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Speaker 1: someone actually took this on. His name is Tom Elith,

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Speaker 1: President of the I and B. But at the time

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Speaker 1: he's served in many roles throughout his ministry. But he

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Speaker 1: decided to take this on with thirty nine thousand couples

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Speaker 1: thirty nine thousand, of course, I'm so quirky when I

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Speaker 1: hear that, I'm going Could y'all not get forty thirty

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Speaker 1: nine thousand? Could we not give I guess pete? Finally

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Speaker 1: they need they said, we need another thousands, Like, I'm

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Speaker 1: so exhausted with finding couples that'll agree to this. We

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Speaker 1: got thirty nine thousand, let's just stop here. Surely the

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Speaker 1: goal was forty thousand. But anyway, so thirty nine thousand,

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Speaker 1: that's the number couples. And they asked them, would they

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Speaker 1: be willing to implement God's standard of marriage to their marriage.

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Speaker 1: Thirty nine thousand couples. That's a big number. It's not

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Speaker 1: just a few. And they agreed that they would, and

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Speaker 1: they kept and they were things they had to do.

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Speaker 1: They had to have the husband in the role that

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Speaker 1: God ordained, the wife and the role that God ordained,

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Speaker 1: and they had to do these three things together. They

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Speaker 1: had to pray together on a consistent basis. Three things,

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Speaker 1: pray together. Pray separately, but also pray together as husband

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Speaker 1: and wife on a regular basis, not every now and then, preferably,

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Speaker 1: you know, preferably daily, but at least on a regular basis.

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Speaker 1: They had to agree that they would study the Word

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Speaker 1: of God together and separately on a regular basis. They

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Speaker 1: would be in the word of God on a regular basis. Third,

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Speaker 1: they would be not just to tend the local church.

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Speaker 1: They would be involved and immerse themselves in the local

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Speaker 1: church as husband and wife. And they would just do

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Speaker 1: those three things. And the husband, as we'll talk about today,

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Speaker 1: would be in his role as headship and the wife

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Speaker 1: would be in her role as helper, equal but beautifully distinct,

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Speaker 1: and they would operate God's way, feeding it with these

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Speaker 1: three things of action. Ten years later, of the thirty

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Speaker 1: nine thousand couples, they had one divorce. One. As me

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Speaker 1: speaking to you today, these thirty nine thousand couples who

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Speaker 1: are all still alive, the number is still the same.

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Speaker 1: There's been one divorce in thirty nine thousand couples. Now.

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Speaker 1: The reason why that's important is because the world will

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Speaker 1: tell you that Christians divorce at the same rate as

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Speaker 1: non Christians, and that is not true. The reason why

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Speaker 1: that number has been thrown around is we allow too

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Speaker 1: many people to be called Christians who really aren't, and

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Speaker 1: so that's what keeps messing our number up a little bit.

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Speaker 1: But if you look at the devout followers of Jesus,

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Speaker 1: those who implement this type of life in their marriage,

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Speaker 1: and they follow God's standard, proving as Jesus said that

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Speaker 1: they truly are his disciples, and they truly have been redeemed.

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Speaker 1: And what's the greatest, most significant proof of true redemption.

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Speaker 1: What does the Bible say? We said it over and

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Speaker 1: over again, obedience. Now, obedience does not earn us redemption,

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Speaker 1: but obedience is the best fruit. Scripture says that proves

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Speaker 1: that you truly have been redeemed. And those who have

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Speaker 1: been obedient to God's word actually don't divorce very much

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Speaker 1: at all because they know that they've entered into a covenant,

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Speaker 1: not a contract. A covenant and a contractor two completely

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Speaker 1: different things. You can find ways out of a contract,

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Speaker 1: but you can't find any way out of a covenant.

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Speaker 1: And so that so when whenever you hear anyone tell

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Speaker 1: you that the church has a divorce rate the same

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Speaker 1: as the world, it just isn't true because we keep

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Speaker 1: allowing people to be lumped in to our faith that

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Speaker 1: really aren't part of it. And so what I I

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Speaker 1: want to talk about today, whether you want to hear

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Speaker 1: this or not, if you're already married, it's not too late.

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Speaker 1: If you're considering being married. Wow, this is a big

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Speaker 1: one for you today. Okay, God is going to show

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Speaker 1: you how marriage works. And if we would just implement

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Speaker 1: his standard, his power has been proven that you will

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Speaker 1: have a lasting marriage. You won't have a perfect marriage

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Speaker 1: because you're still in perfect people, because we're not glorified yet.

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Speaker 1: But if you're willing to both be sanctified together and

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Speaker 1: you're willing to commit yourself under the authority of God

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Speaker 1: and then flowing down to the hierarchy of the family,

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Speaker 1: God is God, and I promise you it will work.

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Speaker 1: So let's see what God says. So he's first of

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Speaker 1: all the key verses here. Don't ever jump into twenty

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Speaker 1: two without going back first and reading twenty one, because

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna come. I'm gonna start with a

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Speaker 1: word in English that falling people just don't like, and

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Speaker 1: that word is submission. We don't like this. My wife

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Speaker 1: said this at one of the marriage conferences we've done

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Speaker 1: this year, and she's right. She was actually teaching on this.

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Speaker 1: If you really want to shock a room, have the

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Speaker 1: woman teach this part. And that's what we do. And anyway,

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Speaker 1: so she said, the problem we have is we're living

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Speaker 1: in a society where nobody won't submit to anybody, including God.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, but look, go back to twenty one, because

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Speaker 1: remember Paul says this. He says that we're going to

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Speaker 1: be giving thanks. I'm back in twenty a little bit here,

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Speaker 1: giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father

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Speaker 1: in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Look at

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Speaker 1: twenty one. This is the key because it flows into

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Speaker 1: twenty two. Submitting to one another out of reverence to Christ.

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Speaker 1: Now underline that, because you can't move on to twenty

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Speaker 1: two without that, and too many people do, and that's

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Speaker 1: why people don't fully understand what's happening here. This submission

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Speaker 1: we're about to talk about with wives and husbands is

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Speaker 1: no indicator of inequality at all. It's an indication of

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Speaker 1: a hierarchy. And I'll give you some examples on why

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Speaker 1: that's true. So the key verses are here. Though we

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Speaker 1: are supposed to, out of reverence to Christ, be submissive

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Speaker 1: to each other, okay, not just one, but to each

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Speaker 1: other out of reverence for Christ. We don't consider ourselves

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Speaker 1: better or more valuable than anyone, Okay, And there's none

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Speaker 1: of us that can't be given some instruction by somebody

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Speaker 1: else that we're just too important to follow. Everybody in

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Speaker 1: here can instruct me, and I can instruct you in

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Speaker 1: the church. Because we submit to each other out of

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Speaker 1: reverence to Christ. Doesn't mean you have to do what

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Speaker 1: I'm instructing. You can disagree with it, but there's nothing

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Speaker 1: that makes you less than me or me less than

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Speaker 1: you if I'm being told to do something by you.

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Speaker 1: So none of us are more important than anybody else.

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Speaker 1: We're all equal in need of redemption and God's mercy

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Speaker 1: and grace at the foot of the cross. None of

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Speaker 1: us are going to strut into heaven. Okay, so we're

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Speaker 1: out of reverence to that fact of Jesus. We're all

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Speaker 1: equal under Jesus. That makes sense, including husbands and wives. However,

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Speaker 1: then we get into distinct roles. So there's two words

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Speaker 1: that's going to dominate the teachings of verses twenty two

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Speaker 1: through twenty nine, and that's one of the places in

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Speaker 1: scripture where we talk about marriage. Now, remember Peter talks

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Speaker 1: about husbands and wives as well. We covered that when

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Speaker 1: we studied Peter, and I might reference some of that.

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Speaker 1: That also matches up with some of this today. But

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Speaker 1: something that's important here that two words are going to

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Speaker 1: dominate these verses. And those two words are going to

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Speaker 1: be submission and love. Submission and love. You can't have

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Speaker 1: one without the other, and they're going to dominate these verses.

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Speaker 1: So marriage, two key principles of a healthy marriage are

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Speaker 1: submission and love, and you can't throw either one of

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Speaker 1: them out. Okay. So first of all, he says in

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Speaker 1: verse twenty two, Now this is also going to upset

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Speaker 1: the world a little bit. But Jesus told me to

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Speaker 1: expect that. I'm not Jesus's pr agent. I'm not a

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Speaker 1: Jehovah's pr agent. I'm not the Holy Spirits pr agent.

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to tell you what our try you

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Speaker 1: and God says, and you can like it or you

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Speaker 1: cannot like it. If you're upset, you'll have to talk

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Speaker 1: to him. Okay. I didn't invent marriage. I didn't come

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Speaker 1: up with it. Okay. So he says this, the word

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Speaker 1: here in verse twenty two for husband. If you look

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Speaker 1: at the original Greek, it only means a male. There

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Speaker 1: is no other version of a husband. It only means

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Speaker 1: a male, and there's no other version of a wife,

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Speaker 1: it only means a woman, okay. And you can go

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Speaker 1: back to God's creation of marriage when it says he

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Speaker 1: made them male and he made them female. These words

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Speaker 1: represent that standard. He's never intended marriage to be anything

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Speaker 1: else than one man and one woman. He didn't give

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Speaker 1: us a multiple choler. He didn't say, you know, if

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Speaker 1: you prefer something else, you want to add some people

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Speaker 1: here now throughout scripture, even people that God used in

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Speaker 1: mighty ways, they came up with versions of marriage, versions

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Speaker 1: of marriage that were not God honoring, and he never

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Speaker 1: approved of them. He managed them, but he never approved them.

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Speaker 1: And you will find again this is gonna upset a

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Speaker 1: lot of people. And y'all know how I lay awake

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Speaker 1: it not worried about that. But you will also find

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Speaker 1: that God, even when marriage is between males and females,

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Speaker 1: were not in line with his commandments. We're talking about

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Speaker 1: these multiple wives and things like that, pagan wives. God

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Speaker 1: would manage, manage male and female in scripture. You never

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Speaker 1: see him manage homosexuality. Never because it's violating his standard

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Speaker 1: in more than one way. It's also violating his standard

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Speaker 1: of gender and the two becoming one. You see him

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Speaker 1: taking David Solomon some of these people, and he's managing

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Speaker 1: the message they're making with these wives, I guess for

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Speaker 1: no other reason, so they would at least not be abandoned,

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Speaker 1: even though they've caused all kinds of problems. When there's

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Speaker 1: males and females involved, you see God managing. You never

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Speaker 1: see him managing same gender any word in scripture, and

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Speaker 1: usually as you look at Romans one in other places,

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Speaker 1: this is usually a sign of the depravity of a society.

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Speaker 1: So that's important too. This gender is important through this

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Speaker 1: because it's male and female the whole way. Okay. So

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Speaker 1: it starts off when it says wives a woman, wives

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Speaker 1: submit to your own husbands. I'd underland underline your own husbands.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you another way you can interpret that.

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Speaker 1: Wives submit to your own man, which would be your husband.

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Speaker 1: Women don't have to go around submitting to every in society.

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Speaker 1: They're supposed to be under the headship of their own man,

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Speaker 1: not every man. Okay. That makes our faith unique as well. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so as to what to the Lord, so that's important too.

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Speaker 1: And ladies understand this. They are women of wives. They

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Speaker 1: are required by God to submit to their own husband.

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Speaker 1: As they would to Jesus. Now that makes the command higher,

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Speaker 1: it's holier. And what it's saying here is not that

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Speaker 1: your husband is perfect like Jesus. It's not that at all.

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Speaker 1: It's saying, a wife with grace and mercy with this

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Speaker 1: imperfect man, that you have treat him like you would

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Speaker 1: treat Jesus. Don't treat him in a way that Jesus

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Speaker 1: would disapprove of. And now I will tell y'all this

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Speaker 1: standard because you're gonna see the same thing for us

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Speaker 1: coming up with wives. This standard has done more for

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Speaker 1: my marriage than anything else, because, yes, my wife and

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Speaker 1: I have had disagreements. Yes, my wife and I have

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Speaker 1: had arguments. Now, we've never had any some major ordeal

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Speaker 1: other than you know, we had to work through the

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Speaker 1: earthly death of one of our children. I don't mean

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Speaker 1: that I'm talking about, but husband and wife problems. We've

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Speaker 1: had arguments and disagreements and silent treatment and that kind

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Speaker 1: of stuff. And it's amazing how long they can do

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Speaker 1: silent treatment. They I've never won that one, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? Have you ever tried that you ever

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Speaker 1: tried to out silent treatment? You wi if you're not

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Speaker 1: gonna win they can silent treatment. One of the funniest

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Speaker 1: I forget what comedians said. This was it Nate bark Getze.

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Speaker 1: I think how you say his name? He said, this

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Speaker 1: reason why that no male has ever picked up on

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Speaker 1: the plot of sixth sense the I see dead people.

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Speaker 1: He goes, you're supposed to pick him on the fact

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Speaker 1: that his wife never speaks to him. He said, every

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Speaker 1: husband thinks that's possible, you know, And and so that's

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Speaker 1: why we never caught the plot, you know. So that's

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Speaker 1: a funny line, by the way, But so yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean I've been through those kind of things. Do you

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Speaker 1: know what has reconciled every argument my wife has ever had, Jesus.

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Speaker 1: Eventually both of us are one of us. Whoever is

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Speaker 1: it fault? Apparently that's me. We and most of the

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Speaker 1: time it is, but is usually it resolves itself because

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Speaker 1: somebody comes to the conclusion, if not both of us,

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Speaker 1: I'm not treating my spouse the way Jesus said to

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Speaker 1: So you correct it. You know, how did Jesus tell

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Speaker 1: me to treat my wife? How did Jesus tell wives

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Speaker 1: to treat their husbands? So that's the theme that's being

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Speaker 1: thrown out here. Now this submitting is we're talking about

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Speaker 1: a headship here. We're not talking about inequality. Now you're saying, Rick,

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Speaker 1: why what do you mean? Well, I'll give I'll give

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Speaker 1: you an example. Okay, Look a look at twenty three.

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Speaker 1: For the husband is the head of the wife, even

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Speaker 1: as Christ is the head of the church, his body

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Speaker 1: and is himself It's savior. Now listen to this. Here's

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Speaker 1: what twenty three is saying. There's a there's a hierarchy here,

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Speaker 1: there's a structure. The head of every man should be

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Speaker 1: who Jesus. Okay, and then the head of every woman

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Speaker 1: is her husband, and the head of Christ is God

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Speaker 1: the Father. So does anybody think when when Jesus the

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Speaker 1: Son said that he was under the authority of his

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Speaker 1: father and he was here to fulfill the will of

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Speaker 1: his father, he clearly tells us that this dance that

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Speaker 1: is you hear me quote Adrian Rogers a lot Adrian

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Speaker 1: Rogers said about the Trinity, if you try to fully

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Speaker 1: comprehend it, you'll lose your mind. But if you reject

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Speaker 1: it's validity, you'll lose your redemption. All right, we do

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Speaker 1: serve a try you God, do I completely understand this? Dance.

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Speaker 1: I don't, But do I believe it by faith? I

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Speaker 1: do because scripture speaks to it. So there's no question

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Speaker 1: that God is three persons, the Father, of the Son,

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Speaker 1: and the Holy Spirit, and they are one God. But

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Speaker 1: there is a distinction in this trinity. And because Jesus

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Speaker 1: says that all authority had to be given to him

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Speaker 1: by his father, that he was here to do the

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Speaker 1: will of his father. So the father has a headship

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Speaker 1: in the hierarchy over the son. But did the Bible

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Speaker 1: tell us that Jesus the son was inferior to God

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Speaker 1: the father. No, they're not in fearor so. This is

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Speaker 1: the same thing in marriage. This doesn't mean that the

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Speaker 1: wife is inferior to the husband. It means that there

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Speaker 1: is an authority and there's a headship that has to

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Speaker 1: be given. In the structure. Christ is head of the

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Speaker 1: home and head of the marriage. The man is under

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Speaker 1: the authority and submission to Christ, meaning that Christ should

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Speaker 1: be flowing through him to his wife, and his wife

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Speaker 1: gladly submits to that headship because it comes from Jesus. Now,

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Speaker 1: there is no requirement by any woman to be under

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Speaker 1: the headship of an ungodly man, to be to tolerate

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Speaker 1: physical abuse. We're not talking about that at all. There

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Speaker 1: has to be some logic there. A woman has a

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Speaker 1: right to protect herself and be safe. Peter tells us

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Speaker 1: that any man that is harsh with his wife, there

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Speaker 1: is static between that man and God, and it affects

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Speaker 1: the man's prayer life, and that God does not hear

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Speaker 1: the prayers of an abusive man. That's how much God

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Speaker 1: hates that. And he says, because the woman is the

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Speaker 1: weaker vessel, now that does not mean that she's inferior.

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Speaker 1: It means she breaks easier. This is this absurdity right

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Speaker 1: now of biological males being in physical competition against biological

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Speaker 1: females in creation. This is absurd, completely absurd, okay, And

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Speaker 1: it's being treated as if it's normal, which is bizarre.

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Speaker 1: This is something that's so elementary biologically and in creation. Well,

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Speaker 1: God was already speaking to that that that you know

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Speaker 1: that He's made the male bigger, stronger, more physical. So

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Speaker 1: it would be a complete blasphemous act for a man

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Speaker 1: with so much more strength to be physically or even

428
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 1: mentally and emotionally mistreating a woman that breaks easier. But

429
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 1: give you an example that that's not an equality. The

430
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 1: analogy that Peter uses, inspired by the Holy Spirit is

431
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 1: how many of you know that that porcelain is easier

432
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 1: to break than steel, still stronger? Right, porcelain breaks easier.

433
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 1: Is porcelain less expensive than steel? It's actually more valuable

434
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 1: than still, but it's not stronger. So this is what

435
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: Peter's talking about. This is what Paul's talking about. There

436
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: is a hierarchy, and there's a responsibility for that man's

437
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 1: headship to come through his already submission to Jesus. And

438
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 1: now if that man has a headship in his marriage

439
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 1: and it's supposed to be like Jesus, where you're going

440
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:29,239
Speaker 1: to see, you're going to see that Jesus who has

441
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 1: authority over all of us. What did he do? You're

442
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 1: gonna see this in a minute. He gave himself up

443
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 1: for us. That's true leadership, that's headship worthy of submission.

444
00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: So this goes back to the garden. Adam was created, first,

445
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: woman was created. Second, Adam was made to rule from

446
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:56,160
Speaker 1: from from a headship. Eve was made to rule from

447
00:26:56,240 --> 00:27:00,360
Speaker 1: her heart. So man, as you see, even now, men

448
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: sometimes are more logical, women more emotionally. It's always been

449
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: this way, that that's how they were created. Now, does

450
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: that mean that men sometimes men are not emotional? No.

451
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,199
Speaker 1: Does it mean that women aren't brilliant and smart? No?

452
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:18,120
Speaker 1: Does it mean they can't be logical? No? Is their

453
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 1: fallback position usually to be more logical than a man. No.

454
00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 1: Is the fallback position that they're more emotional than men? Yes,

455
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 1: but that's because there was a There was a beautiful distinction.

456
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: That's not inequality. Adam, if you look back, was not deceived. Okay,

457
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 1: he was not deceived. Satan went after Eve to deceive her.

458
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 1: The problem with Adam is that if you look, even

459
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,879
Speaker 1: when it comes Adam's time to be tested by God

460
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 1: allowing Satan to test them so they could be trusted.

461
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: And this is one of the first times this. I

462
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,719
Speaker 1: don't know why I haven't picked up on this before.

463
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 1: I was very clear on Adam was there, and Adam

464
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,439
Speaker 1: let it happen. I know all about all that, But

465
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 1: you know, the thing that I'd studying at this time

466
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: finally dawned on me. Satan didn't even try with Adam.

467
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 1: He left. He knew once he had the woman, he

468
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 1: had Adam, He's not even hanging around anymore. Did you ever,

469
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 1: if y'all thought of that, he doesn't address Adam. Adam

470
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 1: and Satan never have a conversation because once he had

471
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: the woman, back to how important a woman's role is,

472
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 1: he had Adam and he knew it. So Eve's sin

473
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 1: was to be deceived and not listen to God and

474
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: listened to Satan. She had been instructed apparently by Adam

475
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: about this tree, because we never see that God told

476
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: her this at all. He told Adam about the tree

477
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,560
Speaker 1: before she was ever created. It was his job to

478
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 1: teach her about the tree. Apparently he did, but it

479
00:28:55,480 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: didn't land because Satan convinced Eve that trust in God

480
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: on what was right and wrong was not good enough.

481
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 1: God's trying to withhold this from you. You should be

482
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,719
Speaker 1: able to make your own decisions. And so she's deceived

483
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:17,880
Speaker 1: by Satan. So what was Adam's sin? He disobeyed, he agreed,

484
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: he went along with it, so he was not deceived.

485
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:26,240
Speaker 1: He just did not obey. Satan left and let Eve

486
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 1: tempt Adam. And what Adam did is when it came

487
00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 1: to i'm going to be, I'm going to be I'm

488
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 1: going to give in to what my wife wants to do.

489
00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: As opposed to loving her enough to say no. God said,

490
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: we don't eat from this tree. That's the headship we're

491
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: supposed to have. You've been deceived by Satan. I'm going

492
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: to go kill the snake as soon as I can

493
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 1: find him for coming in here and manipulating you. But

494
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: I will tell you you've been manipulated. But as your husband,

495
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: being the headship of this marriage, I love you enough

496
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: that we're not going to disobey God because I love

497
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: him and you too much. But what Adam decided is

498
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 1: I don't really love you and I don't really love God,

499
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 1: because I'm going to go along with it, even though

500
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 1: I know this is wrong. So he didn't love his

501
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 1: wife enough to protect her from what was happening. So

502
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,880
Speaker 1: what happens? And if you don't believe me, you think, oh,

503
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 1: he's so loving to Eve for doing this right, and

504
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 1: if it was a romantic comedy and the rom come,

505
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 1: this would be the most beautiful. He picked his wife

506
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 1: over God, yay. But what does he do if you

507
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 1: don't believe me? When God shows up? What does he do?

508
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: He blames Eve, he's not standing with her. He bails

509
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: on her immediately and says, hey, she's the one who

510
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: did it. And Mo, by the way you created her,

511
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 1: just saying right, did he's standing with his wife? He

512
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 1: didn't stand with her. He was ready to throw the bus.

513
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: So did he really love her? Would that move? Now?

514
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: So see, when we don't stand on God's standard, we

515
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: cease to love our wives or God. And I would

516
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: say the same thing for our children. So that's what

517
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: happened to marriage. So here is Paul saying, well, let's

518
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: get back to how it should have been. So look

519
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 1: at twenty four. Now, as the church submits to Christ,

520
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

521
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: You see him making that standard right there. All marriages

522
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: should be designed to function like Christ and the Church.

523
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 1: This would solve so many problems because what happens here

524
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: is the church under the authority of Christ should be

525
00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: What did Christ do for the church his bride? He

526
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 1: sacrificed himself for any woman out there got a problem

527
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: with being under the headship of a man that will

528
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 1: give his life for you, or more importantly, live his

529
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 1: life for you, meaning that you're his number one earthly priority.

530
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: If you can find a man that loves you as

531
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 1: much as Jesus loves his bride the church, then I'd

532
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 1: say you're in pretty good shape. And we as men,

533
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 1: if we have this headship, I want us to ask

534
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: ourselves a question. If you're married, do you truly lead

535
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: your wife the way Christ leads the church? Does she

536
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:52,719
Speaker 1: see that kind of sacrificial love and us? You know,

537
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,719
Speaker 1: it's one of the things I've made the joke before,

538
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 1: and it's really not true. I've made the joke before

539
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: that when God on human flesh and God became a man,

540
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 1: he decided to show us how to do everything, and

541
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:12,719
Speaker 1: he exposed himself to everything except marriage. Ha ha ha haa.

542
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 1: Everybody you know laughs, and I've got a laugh on

543
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 1: that one before. But it's not true, because he does

544
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 1: have a bride his church, and he has shown us

545
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 1: how to do marriage by the way he was married

546
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: to his church. He is the bridegroom. The church is

547
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: his bride. He has shown us how to be husbands,

548
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: he has shown wives how to be wives. So he

549
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 1: actually has taken on marriage, and so that joke really

550
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:46,120
Speaker 1: doesn't stand. So that's the standard of how that is

551
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: supposed to work. But Paul isn't finished. Just in case

552
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: we misunderstand his analogy. The husband's love is revealed in

553
00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 1: sacrifice twenty five husbands, Love your wives as Christ loved

554
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 1: the church, and he gave himself up for her. I

555
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 1: can tell right there that Paul must have done a

556
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: lot of men's ministry, because really he said the same

557
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,960
Speaker 1: thing in twenty four. But he knows that too, that

558
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 1: was too broad. He knows how men are. I tell

559
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 1: this to everybody that I'm training in men's ministry. Don't

560
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 1: leave anything to chance when you're teaching men. Explain it

561
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 1: in every detail. Never assume that. Men go, yeah, I

562
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: know where you're going on. I got that. So if

563
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 1: we look at this and we go now the church

564
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: submits to Christ, so also wives to submit, submit to

565
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: everything to their husbands, we're supposed to get the analogy.

566
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,720
Speaker 1: Let's look at how Jesus treated the church. But Paul

567
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: knows we might not, so he goes. So let me

568
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 1: explain that to you and twenty five husbands, this is

569
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 1: what I mean. Love your wives as Christ loved the church,

570
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 1: and he didn't even leave it there. And oh, by

571
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: the way, in case you don't remember, he gave himself

572
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: up for her. Is if we talk to every wife

573
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,319
Speaker 1: in this room and every wife out there. If I

574
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: were to talk to all your wives and you talk

575
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 1: to mine, would they say that my husband gives himself

576
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: up for me? And I don't know the answer to that.

577
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:26,479
Speaker 1: Are you one of these kind of husbands that I've

578
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 1: actually had a man say to me before? And we

579
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 1: all joke around about it, But I want to get

580
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: serious about this. And I have done things that I

581
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 1: honestly didn't want to do. Vacations, entertainment dates where we go,

582
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,879
Speaker 1: this kind of stuff, and I actually had a man

583
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,399
Speaker 1: things at the house that we have. I don't live

584
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 1: in a house that I designed. I wouldn't design our

585
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,320
Speaker 1: house like it is at all. I live in her house,

586
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 1: but I don't care because she enjoys it, So then

587
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 1: I do. Okay, you think I would hang these pictures.

588
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: You think I would pick out these curtains. I couldn't care.

589
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 1: There's no way I could care any less about this.

590
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: But it's important to her because she is the wife,

591
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 1: and she is the keeper of the home, and she

592
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,400
Speaker 1: keeps it extremely well and takes care of me. I

593
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: want for nothing, So if she wants to decorate it

594
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 1: the way she wants to decorate it, I don't care.

595
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: But I've had men before say I can't believe that

596
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,319
Speaker 1: you went to such and such or did this. Why

597
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: would you do that? And you know what I said,

598
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: It's called doing something somebody else wants to do. It's

599
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: called being happy because your wife is enjoying herself. And look,

600
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:54,399
Speaker 1: I'm not some person never gets to do anything. You think.

601
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 1: My wife is thrilled about the latest update on how

602
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 1: the deer a mating. But she knows that I enjoy

603
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 1: studying all that I enjoy taking part in that, so

604
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 1: she pretends to care too. But I'm sure she has

605
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,439
Speaker 1: heard how I killed this big buck this year many

606
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 1: times if she ever wants to hear it again. But

607
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 1: when I get excited about it, you know, her big

608
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,720
Speaker 1: thing I know she's highly anticipating is when the deerhead

609
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 1: is finished. I can't wait to go pick it up,

610
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: and I'm sure she can't wait to see it. But

611
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: you know what, you know what she'll say, that's a

612
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 1: nice deer. That's good. I hope find you somewhere to

613
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 1: hang it at the place that you decorated. You know,

614
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:39,600
Speaker 1: Luckily I have a place that I can put all

615
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 1: my weird stuff up in our little farmhouse. But what

616
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:49,600
Speaker 1: he's saying is you would give up yourself. I mean,

617
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 1: if there is a need that needs to be met

618
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:57,680
Speaker 1: in the home, meeting her needs is priority over yours.

619
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,400
Speaker 1: Because I got news for you. I've studied Jesus in

620
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 1: the garden. He was not thrilled about going to the cross.

621
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: And I know that all of us think he was

622
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 1: just so enamored with us that he couldn't wait to

623
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 1: get to the cross. That's not what I saw. I

624
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 1: saw him asking his father if there was another way

625
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 1: to go, because a many times his friends did not

626
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 1: represent the human beings real well that he was about

627
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,839
Speaker 1: to get on a cross for But what did he do.

628
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 1: He submitted to the will of his father and was

629
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: resolute to the cross and gave himself up for his

630
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 1: bride because his bride's needs superseded his desires as a

631
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: human being. And we need to have that attitude with

632
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,359
Speaker 1: our wives. You see how this is a big deal.

633
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:57,839
Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes that human beings, even in the church,

634
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 1: just kind of go into marriage with kind of a

635
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: let's say see what happens. That's gotta be the dumbest idea.

636
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 1: These are deep concepts and wouldn't it be great to

637
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: have known this before you actually decided to do it.

638
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 1: Maybe we need to do a better job of educating

639
00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 1: people who are about to get married on God's standard. Now, look,

640
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,440
Speaker 1: I will tell you this. My wife and I have

641
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 1: done a lot of marriage conferences. I'm just gonna be

642
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,320
Speaker 1: blunt here. It has been such a breath of fresh

643
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 1: air this year. I'm gonna leave it at that that

644
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: my wife and I said, we do marriage conferences about this.

645
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:43,360
Speaker 1: We don't go play games. We go to say here's

646
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 1: God's standard, let's all apply it. Let's tell you how

647
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 1: it worked in our lives, and I'm gonna tell how

648
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: to work in yours. But we go and say God's

649
00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: standard for marriage is what a marriage conference are to

650
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,799
Speaker 1: be about. If y'all want to go on a date,

651
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,640
Speaker 1: there's plenty other times do that. We're in the house

652
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: of God talking about God's standard, and that's what we're

653
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: gonna do and praise God. The last two conferences that

654
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: we've done have been wholeheartedly endorsed by the pastor and

655
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: the church that this is how marriage conferences should be done.

656
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 1: But that hasn't always been our experience. We have been

657
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: to places before that apparently didn't do any background on

658
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,359
Speaker 1: us and thought we were gonna come play the dating

659
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 1: game and whatever, and they didn't enjoy us, and they

660
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 1: made it pretty clear we wouldn't be back. But let

661
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 1: me tell you something. This is how we need to

662
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 1: be talking about marriage, not playing a bunch of games. Okay,

663
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:47,040
Speaker 1: there's a place for that, But if we're going to

664
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 1: have a weekend about delving into our marriage and a

665
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 1: lot of marriages that got a lot of problems, the

666
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 1: only solution is a scripture in God's standard, not another

667
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 1: self help session. Okay, so this is what we're talling you.

668
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: We do things this way and marriages will thrive. So

669
00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 1: why should we love Christ love our wives? Says Christ

670
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 1: loved the church and gave himself up for her. Look

671
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 1: at this twenty six that he Christ our example, might

672
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:25,600
Speaker 1: sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water.

673
00:41:25,719 --> 00:41:31,040
Speaker 1: Hang on to that with the word so, by the way,

674
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: the word in English love we talked about this lot.

675
00:41:34,239 --> 00:41:37,400
Speaker 1: We've only got one word. I love my wife, I

676
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: love my job, I love my dog. So you have

677
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 1: to really in the Greek they don't do it that way.

678
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: As you know, the word love here, and it's a

679
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,000
Speaker 1: tough one. Husband loved your wife. It's a gope sorry,

680
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:56,160
Speaker 1: the highest level of love, the same love that Christ

681
00:41:56,160 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: had for the church. It's unconditional. You're not saying, well,

682
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 1: as long as my wife acts the way I want

683
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 1: her to, I might consider this. It's commanded you do it,

684
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 1: and I promise you if you will. Some of the

685
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: things you're trying. You're refusing to give her a gope

686
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 1: love over. If you just give her a gope love,

687
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 1: you wouldn't see those things anymore. It would solve it.

688
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 1: But what we do is say a godpe love, I'm

689
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 1: gonna hold it back, which we've violated the definition of

690
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 1: it by saying that, because it's supposed to be unconditional.

691
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hold that back, and I'll love you the

692
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: way the Bible said too. As long as you are right,

693
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,399
Speaker 1: why should I'm glad you just didn't say that about us.

694
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 1: It's His mercy and grace that brought us to repentance.

695
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: So that's a gope love. It does not ebb and flow.

696
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 1: It is constant. And there have been many times that

697
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,440
Speaker 1: my wife has said to me and that's okay. I

698
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 1: continue to love you and the moment we're in right now,

699
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 1: totally out of obedience to Christ and for no other reason.

700
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: That's okay, I don't have to earn it. She's doing

701
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 1: it because Jesus told her to. And we'll get to

702
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:10,879
Speaker 1: the respect here in a minute. So so love our

703
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:14,800
Speaker 1: wives and in a gop a way. And the example

704
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:19,200
Speaker 1: is Christ. He did that for the church and and

705
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 1: and it is a love that that transforms, it trans

706
00:43:23,239 --> 00:43:26,760
Speaker 1: that that he might sanctify her the church, us our wives,

707
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: having cleansed her the way Christ sees it in the

708
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:34,160
Speaker 1: future and see what we're trying to see it now. Uh,

709
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,880
Speaker 1: but but he sees in the future. He has the

710
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 1: power to see it and to sanctify it without spot

711
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 1: or wrinkle. Keep in mind what Jesus saw the church.

712
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: He sees the church in the Revelation. He already sees it.

713
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 1: Know the church is not fallless right now. Know the

714
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 1: church is not without wrinkle. No, the church is not

715
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:57,800
Speaker 1: spotless right now. But Jesus knows he's sanctifying the church,

716
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 1: that it's going to be that way. And that's what

717
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:03,959
Speaker 1: Paul says is predestined in Roman chapter eight, by the way,

718
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 1: is that his church will become like him and all

719
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 1: who are part of the church. But it's not there yet.

720
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 1: That that's that tension. So you go with the church.

721
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: Is it perfect? No, no, no, But Jesus sees that it

722
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 1: will be. My wife's not perfect, no no no, but

723
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:24,279
Speaker 1: you've got to start thinking that she will be if you,

724
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,880
Speaker 1: if we do our job and continue. So the issue

725
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:32,240
Speaker 1: to sanctify our wife without spot or wrinkle, wholly without

726
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:36,239
Speaker 1: blemish is the is the mirror image of who. So ultimately,

727
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 1: when the church gets to perfection, the mirror image of

728
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:45,360
Speaker 1: the church is Jesus, and you know what he says. However,

729
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 1: your wife looks right now is the mirror image of you.

730
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:56,560
Speaker 1: If you want to know how how well a husband

731
00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: is doing his job, just look at his wife. She's

732
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 1: a mirror image of him. It's because of that headshift

733
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 1: that remember I've taught you, guys, man, I've taught you,

734
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:12,800
Speaker 1: I've tried I've taught myself. I'm going all over the country.

735
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 1: I keep teaching this and teaching this and teaching this.

736
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 1: The influence that God has given a male can't be

737
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,399
Speaker 1: turned off. So many men think I just don't want

738
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 1: to cause any damage I'm not gonna do any good,

739
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 1: but I'm not gonna do any harm. Impossible. You're either

740
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 1: doing harm or good because God's headshift that he gave

741
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:33,399
Speaker 1: a male's not just going to go off. You can't

742
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 1: put it on neutral. I'm sorry. So you're either a

743
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 1: detriment to your wife or you're a blessing. You're either

744
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 1: a good or bad influence, and so am I. So.

745
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:51,880
Speaker 1: But when he says this washing of the water, you

746
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,640
Speaker 1: see that really what's just about water? Hang on. What

747
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:59,360
Speaker 1: he's talking about is back under the sacrificial system, before

748
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 1: the sacrifice could be given, the priest had to go in.

749
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,240
Speaker 1: They had like a bowl up there. There's a fancy

750
00:46:06,320 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 1: name for it, but it's a bowl, and they had

751
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:11,040
Speaker 1: water in there, and before he started preparing the sacrifice,

752
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 1: he would wash his hands like a doctor, and he

753
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 1: would get himself completely clean before he went in for

754
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 1: the sacrifice. So what he's saying to husband is what

755
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 1: be sure that you are continuing to clean yourself and

756
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:31,560
Speaker 1: keep yourself without being defiled in any way, so that

757
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: you can be sure she's not being defiled in any way.

758
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 1: You are washing her and cleaning her like a priest

759
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 1: preparing the sacrifice. You're removing all defilement. Now, I will

760
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: say this, as I've said a thousand times. Can anybody

761
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: here wash your wife in the word of God? If

762
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 1: you don't know the word of God, I've told you

763
00:46:56,160 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 1: this example. It's a hard hard to remember, but I

764
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:06,280
Speaker 1: can still see it. Example. My wife is I'm talking about.

765
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:10,760
Speaker 1: My wife is a theologian. My wife is a walking,

766
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 1: talking seminary. But in her time of despair, in her

767
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:22,240
Speaker 1: time of despair, I can still see it. Weeks after

768
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: our son died his earthly death, this is a woman

769
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,279
Speaker 1: who has written a book that tells you everything God

770
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 1: has to say about these things. She knows it. And

771
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 1: she's in the floor, can't stand up, crying her eyes out.

772
00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 1: She looks at me and says, tell me again why

773
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 1: this happened? And like a idiot, I said, We've already

774
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:56,720
Speaker 1: talked about this. And I said, and you know these things,

775
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:01,479
Speaker 1: and I've already told you this. And I can still

776
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 1: see the tears and I can still see those beautiful eyes.

777
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:08,960
Speaker 1: And she said, well, then you tell me again. And

778
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:10,440
Speaker 1: what if I said, well, I don't know what to

779
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 1: tell you. I don't like to read, you know me,

780
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 1: I don't like to read. I can tell you what's

781
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 1: going on with the deer now, I can tell you

782
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,799
Speaker 1: that I'm an expert on that. But I'm not an

783
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 1: expert on the Word of God because I guess it

784
00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 1: just doesn't interest me as much deer do. Because I

785
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 1: found that everything that I deemed a value and everything

786
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 1: I loved, I'm an expert on. And the reason why

787
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:35,360
Speaker 1: I didn't know the Word of God at one time

788
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 1: is not because I didn't like to read. It's because

789
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:42,360
Speaker 1: I didn't deem it of any value. Hard truth, and

790
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 1: that was a hard truth for me to come to coclusion.

791
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,360
Speaker 1: But when I did, it changed my life. I repented

792
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 1: of that and asked God for the desire to do it,

793
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:51,920
Speaker 1: and he gave it to me. And watching the example

794
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,920
Speaker 1: of my wife, she taught me so much and then

795
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: it's almost like she look, come on, just once you

796
00:48:57,680 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 1: get a taste of it, you'll get going. And then

797
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,760
Speaker 1: sure enough, sure enough, it's true. So she was my helper.

798
00:49:03,840 --> 00:49:06,720
Speaker 1: Is she supposed to be. So that's how it's supposed

799
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:12,000
Speaker 1: to work. So this is the job of us to

800
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 1: remove defilement from our wives and to never ever expose

801
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:21,400
Speaker 1: them to sin. I'm gonna say that again. Don't ever

802
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 1: expose your wife to sin. You saw what happened to

803
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:28,920
Speaker 1: n Nissen Sapharah in Acts chapter five. God killed them

804
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 1: because of the husband's sin that he brought his wife

805
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 1: in on. You look at Lot, Oh my gosh, what

806
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:39,240
Speaker 1: a hard thing to remember. Why was Lot's wife looking

807
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:41,920
Speaker 1: back at Sodom because her husband taught her to love it?

808
00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:52,240
Speaker 1: That would be violating the standard here in the same way,

809
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: husbands should love their wives as their own body. Who

810
00:49:55,680 --> 00:50:01,320
Speaker 1: loves his wife loves himself. This is pretty straightforward. Eve

811
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 1: was made from one of Adam's ribs. The bride was

812
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 1: made from Adam's body. But it's distinct. It's one flesh.

813
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: And what he's saying is, well, you remember that she

814
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:17,480
Speaker 1: was made from your flesh. You be sure you take

815
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 1: care of her the way you would take care of

816
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 1: your own body. And then there's a motive for that.

817
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:28,320
Speaker 1: That's supreme, he said, because anyone who loves their wife

818
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 1: as their own bodies, he who loves him wife loves

819
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,959
Speaker 1: his wife, what loves himself. If you love your wife,

820
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: you love yourself because she's part of you. Remember, it says,

821
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 1: the two will become one. She came from you, so

822
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:46,760
Speaker 1: to love her is to love yourself. And so many

823
00:50:46,760 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 1: men who are horrible husbands and are tyrants in their

824
00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:52,800
Speaker 1: own home. They're that way because they don't love themselves,

825
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:57,359
Speaker 1: and therefore they can't love their wife because they don't

826
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 1: have themselves right with God. They don't understand that, and

827
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:06,240
Speaker 1: he says, be sure you understand that. Just like Jesus

828
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: sees and cares for the church, he loves it, he

829
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 1: nourishes that, he cherishes it. It's precious to him, even

830
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 1: with its faults and imperfections. These are no excuse for

831
00:51:17,760 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 1: us not to take care of our wives. Because I

832
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,919
Speaker 1: hate to break it to you, we're not perfect either,

833
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 1: some of the principles of the marriage relationship. For no

834
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 1: one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and

835
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 1: cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we

836
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 1: are members of His body. The concept we are members

837
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 1: of the body of Christ and Christ the standard holy

838
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:46,399
Speaker 1: marriage is attainable. I'm going to say that again, as

839
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: long as Christ is the standard, holy marriage is attainable.

840
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,919
Speaker 1: It was always intended to be holy, just as we

841
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,960
Speaker 1: were always intended to be holy. And if Jesus has

842
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 1: gone to the cross to redeem people. Guess what makes

843
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 1: up marriage? People? And see marriage is falling just like

844
00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,759
Speaker 1: people are falling, so it has to be redeemed too.

845
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:10,800
Speaker 1: Do you know the last marriage conference a sharing I did.

846
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 1: Do you know the biggest step we saw about a

847
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:16,239
Speaker 1: dozen of the couples make is when one of them

848
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 1: admitted they were lost, and they repented, and they came

849
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 1: to the altar and said, I'm the problem. The problem

850
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 1: is that we need another self help course. The problem

851
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 1: is that we need to be taught. Maybe some things

852
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,719
Speaker 1: we could work on, maybe do a workshop, Maybe get

853
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 1: some wine and go out on a date, maybe and

854
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 1: see if we can't end up having a nice night

855
00:52:38,760 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 1: of sex, that I might turn it around. No, our

856
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: problem is that one of us, if not both of us,

857
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:50,319
Speaker 1: are lost. You think a night of a of a

858
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 1: romp is going to solve that the marriage needs to

859
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:58,440
Speaker 1: be redeemed because it's people in the marriage that need

860
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 1: to be redeemed. And this is what these scriptures are

861
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 1: talking about. We're members of the church, we have Christ.

862
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 1: He is the bridegroom, we are in the bride. And

863
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 1: then he says next, because of this look at this. Therefore,

864
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:21,960
Speaker 1: a man shall leave his father and mother that hold

865
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:28,360
Speaker 1: fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

866
00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 1: A man is linked to his wife, just as Jesus

867
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 1: is linked to the Church. We are one body. God

868
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:46,399
Speaker 1: does not intend for Christian homes to be an outpost

869
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:51,960
Speaker 1: of the world. Christian homes are intended by God to

870
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 1: be an outpost of Heaven. The mysteries of the Church

871
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 1: should be alive and function inside the Christian marriage. Too

872
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 1: many people go to church as husbands and wives, and

873
00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: then they leave and they become the world. Now, everything

874
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:18,719
Speaker 1: that the church is doing that goes into the marriage.

875
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 1: How the church is functioning with Jesus and Jesus with

876
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 1: the church that you don't go well, Finally the pastor

877
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,480
Speaker 1: has been rambling on and on. He's finally done. We've

878
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 1: heard the announcements, We've sang the doxology, and as soon

879
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:37,879
Speaker 1: as the door opens, whoo, that's behind us. Now, let's

880
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 1: go and see if we can't make this thing work

881
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 1: without all that. That's something that we just do, like

882
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 1: we would do, go into the farmers market, something fun

883
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 1: to do together. But it certainly doesn't come home with us.

884
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:57,759
Speaker 1: It's supposed to go home with you. It's supposed to

885
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:02,880
Speaker 1: be in our houses and in our marriage. Next the

886
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 1: conclusion a man shall leave his father and mother. Should

887
00:55:08,520 --> 00:55:10,759
Speaker 1: we honor our father and mother? Yes, because we're told to.

888
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 1: Does our father and mother go to our marriage with us? No?

889
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 1: Are they now a bigger priority to us than our wives? No?

890
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:23,760
Speaker 1: Our wives are a number one earthly priority, and everybody,

891
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:27,759
Speaker 1: including our children, are secondary to that. A lot of

892
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,279
Speaker 1: marriages don't work because children have been put in the

893
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:32,440
Speaker 1: place in the house they should not be. But that's

894
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:38,319
Speaker 1: another message. Thirty two. The mystery is profound, and I'm

895
00:55:38,360 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 1: saying that refers to Christ and the Church. However, let

896
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:46,279
Speaker 1: each one of you love his wife as himself, and

897
00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 1: let the wife see that she respects her husband. Wow, practical,

898
00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:56,800
Speaker 1: love your wife like you love yourself, Short and simple,

899
00:55:56,840 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: profound wives respect your husband? Who would not respect a

900
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 1: husband who truly loves his wife? This requires supernatural help. Careful, careful.

901
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 1: So why does he say for the wife to respect

902
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 1: a husband? How many of you wish it said wives

903
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:26,120
Speaker 1: love your husbands. Now let me clarify that in other

904
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 1: parts of scripture, older women are supposed to teach younger

905
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:31,760
Speaker 1: women how to love their husband. So yes, we're supposed

906
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 1: to be loved, but that's not what Paul's dealing with

907
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:37,400
Speaker 1: right now. Paul's dealing with distinction between the husband and

908
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 1: the wife. So I remember when Sherry and I were

909
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:48,760
Speaker 1: taught this and by our pastor. That Really what Paul's

910
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:52,719
Speaker 1: created here is kind of a circle. And you have

911
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:56,920
Speaker 1: Jesus at the top of the house. You have the

912
00:56:56,960 --> 00:57:00,520
Speaker 1: wife pursuing Jesus. You have the husband pursuing Jesus. So

913
00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:03,759
Speaker 1: you get Jesus there at the top, so we're under

914
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 1: his authority. Then there's headship for the husband, and there's

915
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 1: a powerful role as a powerful helper for the wife.

916
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:14,760
Speaker 1: Both equal, just beautifully distinct. And then if the husband

917
00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:17,680
Speaker 1: begins to get in that circle, because he's now under

918
00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:20,040
Speaker 1: the authority of Jesus, he begins to love his wife

919
00:57:20,440 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 1: as Christ loved the church, giving up himself for the wife.

920
00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 1: He now is doing what the Bible says, I love

921
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 1: my wife with the gape love as Christ loved the church.

922
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,240
Speaker 1: Then the wife turns around and says, well, I sure

923
00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:34,920
Speaker 1: do respect to that husband that loves me the way

924
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,680
Speaker 1: Christ loves the church. He begins to love her she

925
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 1: begins to respect him, He begins to love her because

926
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 1: she respects him. He begins to respect her because she

927
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 1: loves him, and it just starts doing beautiful. Do you

928
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 1: remember that just starts beautiful. We've never forgotten that, by

929
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 1: the way, and we've been teaching that too, and it

930
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 1: just works beautiful. But here's the problem husbands that we got.

931
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 1: We got one problem there. Yes, there are women who

932
00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 1: do not respect their husbands. And sometimes there are women

933
00:58:02,080 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 1: who use their power as Eve did, to manipulate their husband,

934
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:11,360
Speaker 1: to usurp their husband's authority. With the Jezebel spirit, there's

935
00:58:11,400 --> 00:58:13,800
Speaker 1: no doubt that exists, and women, I would be very

936
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:19,520
Speaker 1: careful with the power that you have. However, and far

937
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:24,520
Speaker 1: too many cases, a man has found himself not respected

938
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:28,760
Speaker 1: by his wife for no other reason that she just

939
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 1: simply knows him. She's not usurping his authority. She's not

940
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 1: a strong willed woman with the Jezebel spirit. She's just

941
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: got a husband that's hard to respect for no other

942
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 1: reason that she knows him. He didn't have any integrity,

943
00:58:56,320 --> 00:59:00,160
Speaker 1: He doesn't love her as Christ loved the church. He

944
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:06,840
Speaker 1: doesn't give himself up for anybody. He's harsh, he's unpredictable.

945
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 1: Everybody's walking on eggshells around him, and she keeps reading,

946
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:13,760
Speaker 1: I need to respect this man. I know, I need to, Lord,

947
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 1: give me the help to respect him, and she just

948
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 1: can't quite do it because she knows him. And if

949
00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 1: that's the case, then we the husbands, have to change

950
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 1: who we are to be worthy of the respect, and

951
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 1: that would start with coming to the authority of Jesus

952
00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 1: so that he can teach us to love her the

953
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 1: way He loves us. You take these principles and you

954
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 1: apply them to your marriage. They work because God knows

955
00:59:56,920 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 1: what he's doing. The husband and the wife are equal

956
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:08,880
Speaker 1: but beautifully distinct. Let's pray Lord, thank you for today,

957
01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 1: thank you for this lesson. Thank you for the ability

958
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:16,480
Speaker 1: Lord to understand it, even though it may be difficult.

959
01:00:18,080 --> 01:00:22,040
Speaker 1: But as usual, you presented a standard that can't be

960
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 1: done without you. So I pray Lord that we repent

961
01:00:28,200 --> 01:00:32,560
Speaker 1: of any violation of this standard that we have as

962
01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:35,200
Speaker 1: men and women who are out there in the audience

963
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:38,760
Speaker 1: that are listening watching, maybe they too have listened to

964
01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 1: the role of the wife and they're like, that's not me.

965
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:44,480
Speaker 1: I need to be a better helper to my husband.

966
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:49,600
Speaker 1: Whatever the case may be involving our marriages, may we

967
01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:53,440
Speaker 1: repent of any a violation of your standard. And we

968
01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 1: beg for the power and the grace that comes from

969
01:00:55,560 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 1: you to help us to be the husband and the

970
01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:02,600
Speaker 1: wife that only you can accomplish and create. And we

971
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: submit to your authority, and we reach for transformation provided

972
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:10,360
Speaker 1: by the power review in your holy name, we pray Amen.