Speaker 1: All right, Scott are you ready?
Speaker 2: I am so ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Speaker 1: Did Dakota Johnson lock customers inside of a blue bottle?
Speaker 2: I mean I have to The answer has got to
Speaker 2: be yes, because I don't know if they write an article.
Speaker 2: If she didn't try to do that, I still think
Speaker 2: there's an article. But she did lock people inside of
Speaker 2: a coffee shop. Well, let's see what's brewing on a
Speaker 2: fancy new episode of Bananas.
Speaker 3: Would you.
Speaker 1: Not for your livesillion pieces?
Speaker 2: Would you?
Speaker 3: Bana?
Speaker 1: BANAA guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas. I'm
Speaker 1: Kerk Brown older.
Speaker 2: I am Banana boy number two Scotty Landis. Thank you
Speaker 2: for listening to the silliest little podcast there ever was,
Speaker 2: especially to our Canadian listeners and our Mexican listeners, and yes,
Speaker 2: our Panamanian listeners and our Colombian listeners.
Speaker 1: Just we love you, We love you, and you know,
Speaker 1: we don't talk about politics, but we do talk about healthcare.
Speaker 1: And I just wanted to let everybody know this has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with anything, but New York State just
Speaker 1: passed a law that protects doctors from providing abortion supplies
Speaker 1: for people in abortion restricting streets restricted states, and I
Speaker 1: just want to let you know, for no reason, so
Speaker 1: that if you're in an abortion restricted state, you can
Speaker 1: contact a doctor in New York and they can mail
Speaker 1: you abortion pills. That is a thing that they are
Speaker 1: protected from doing. I just wanted to let you know.
Speaker 1: You don't talk politics. I'm just letting you know.
Speaker 2: You're just putting it out there because it's in the
Speaker 2: news exactly.
Speaker 1: It's in the news, and this is an educational podcast, Scotty,
Speaker 1: and it's about the news. First March twenty ninth, we're
Speaker 1: in Phoenix. Come on out and see us, Scottie and me.
Speaker 1: All right, we're gonna be having fun. May seventh, eighth,
Speaker 1: and ninth. I'm in Asbury Park, New Jersey. Then I'm
Speaker 1: in Chicago at the Den. Then I'm in Cincinnati at
Speaker 1: I haven't said it right yet. I have not said
Speaker 1: it right yet. You're definitely in Cincinnati, Ohio Commonwealth Sanctuary,
Speaker 1: which is a very fun venue. Now, now let's get
Speaker 1: to our our guests today. I'm so excited. Our guest
Speaker 1: today is a comedian, actress writer. You can see her
Speaker 1: on Netflix Exploding Kittens, ABC's Home Economics and Marvel's Agatha
Speaker 1: All Along.
Speaker 2: She's in the.
Speaker 1: Marvel Universe, Folks, That's massive. She was a cast member
Speaker 1: on Saturday Night Live for four seasons. She's in the
Speaker 1: Lauren Michaels Universe, folks, and and her stand up specials
Speaker 1: Pizza Mind and The First Woman are available everywhere you
Speaker 1: watch comedy, as well as her podcast Best Friends, Please Welcome,
Speaker 1: Sushier Amada.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, welcome. We're so glad to have you come.
Speaker 2: And you've been on before, but welcome back. I think
Speaker 2: a lot has changed. I think every year since twenty twenty,
Speaker 2: things changed, like they.
Speaker 4: Heat changing crazy exponentially.
Speaker 2: Yes, so we're glad to have you back. How are
Speaker 2: I'm good?
Speaker 1: I'm good. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I just got back to la yesterday. I fled like
Speaker 3: a lot of people did.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Fires.
Speaker 1: We spent the first three days together and we did Carlsbad, California.
Speaker 3: Very funny hotel, and it was it was genuinely nice
Speaker 3: and it was funny because like our friend Julia just
Speaker 3: like texted me it was like a bunch of us
Speaker 3: are going here.
Speaker 4: I was like great, and it was like you know,
Speaker 4: parents with their.
Speaker 3: Kids and there and dogs and I was like solo
Speaker 3: just like like like everyone's teen daughter just like yeah,
Speaker 3: and me too.
Speaker 2: I also don't want to burn alive. And that's fine.
Speaker 1: We would have barbecues. We were just we have barbecues
Speaker 1: every night.
Speaker 4: They sweet, It.
Speaker 1: Was genuinely sweet. But we were talking about the fact that, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like felt weird because a tragedy was happening. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we're all like a bunch of comedians in a
Speaker 1: hotel together, and it also felt a little bit like
Speaker 1: a comedy festival.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is like, Yeah, those are moments where it's like,
Speaker 3: I really really love being part of the comedy community
Speaker 3: because you get just band together and like remind yourself
Speaker 3: you're not alone.
Speaker 4: And then also everyone has great jokes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we are the best people to be around in
Speaker 3: a moment of confusion and stress and sorrow and all
Speaker 3: of those things.
Speaker 4: So yeah, and I.
Speaker 1: Have also noticed, with few exceptions that are very clear,
Speaker 1: I think comedians are there's not a chance of it
Speaker 1: being like awkward with them, do you know what I
Speaker 1: mean of like things just being weird. Usually it's always
Speaker 1: incredibly friendly. You can say whatever you want and they're
Speaker 1: very forgiving. It's not like you can ever fuck up
Speaker 1: there are certain comedians who like, if you say the
Speaker 1: wrong thing, they'll just walk away from you. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: can name names three things. You know.
Speaker 2: It's ten percent are only awkward every time I talk
Speaker 2: through them.
Speaker 3: That's also a whole section of comedians are justly awkward.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as a non comedian, let me tell you, they're
Speaker 2: not ten percent. When they find out you're not a comic,
Speaker 2: they just stare at you like, I don't know what
Speaker 2: to say to this man. They're all white dudes. I
Speaker 2: will say that they're all white dudes, and they're just like, Hi,
Speaker 2: how are you?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I forget how to be human?
Speaker 2: Uh So, sir, I was listening to your podcast. You
Speaker 2: and Colebyer have such a fun podcast, and I was
Speaker 2: listening to the Gym. I've been going to the gym
Speaker 2: a lot lately, and I was listening like three episodes
Speaker 2: in a row, and I was doing squats on a
Speaker 2: machine that's called a v squat machine, so your your
Speaker 2: body's sort of like your legs are in front of
Speaker 2: you a little bit, okay, not just right below you
Speaker 2: and you too were talking about, of course, like any
Speaker 2: good podcasts, all the restaurant and catering experiences, you've had,
Speaker 2: including all the times you've gotten sick and then times
Speaker 2: where you found things in your food. And while I
Speaker 2: was squatting you, you said something about finding like metal.
Speaker 2: The guy mentioned putting metal in food one time a
Speaker 2: server said that to you, and I was down in
Speaker 2: a squat and started laughing and then really couldn't stand up.
Speaker 2: So I almost like ripped my butt in half, literally
Speaker 2: ripped my button half listening to you to just be friends.
Speaker 2: And so I'm a new fan. You've yeah, you've acquired
Speaker 2: a new ripped in half butthole fan.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's fine, We're butt ripping good.
Speaker 2: I like that compliment. It was awesome. Thank you. Also,
Speaker 2: I have a question that you are uniquely qualified to answer.
Speaker 2: Do you still have stress dreams about SNL? I do,
Speaker 2: like high school type of can't find locker room type
Speaker 2: of stress dreams, And you know it's because of SNL.
Speaker 3: Literally, yeah, it'll be dreams like SNL is a school
Speaker 3: like SL Like there's there's lockers in eight h and
Speaker 3: I can't find the stage or something, or like I'm
Speaker 3: too late because my sketch is happening and I'm not
Speaker 3: on on camera yet, or like yeah, yeah, they still pop.
Speaker 4: Up every so often.
Speaker 3: And I've been off the show for like since twenty seventeen,
Speaker 3: almost ten years, but I still, oh my god, really.
Speaker 1: Still like part of it.
Speaker 2: It just sounds like such a pressure cooker of a
Speaker 2: creative environment that we've had writers and we're friends with
Speaker 2: lots of writers who have been on, but for performers, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was just wondering it must personally, And yeah, I
Speaker 2: still have those college ones where you forgot to go
Speaker 2: to class for the whole semester or whatever, but I imagined,
Speaker 2: so yeah, it's true you still have SNL can't find
Speaker 2: studio eight h or whatever.
Speaker 4: A truly really I think.
Speaker 3: Also it's like that job's like nothing else in great
Speaker 3: ways and also in very interesting ways. But yeah, I've
Speaker 3: had haven't had a job like that since. And but
Speaker 3: also because I was at that job, anything that comes
Speaker 3: my way, I feel like I can handle it, Like
Speaker 3: for sure, anything that like any last minute changes or
Speaker 3: like huge switches or just energy, like I just feel
Speaker 3: like I it rolls off my back because I was in.
Speaker 4: Such a pressure cooker very early in my career.
Speaker 3: So yeah, but I do feel like because it was
Speaker 3: like the biggest thing I did earlier on. It's just
Speaker 3: like truly I implanted in my brain and comes up
Speaker 3: in subconscious very so often.
Speaker 1: Do you ever go back? Have you ever been back
Speaker 1: since twenty seventeen?
Speaker 4: I haven't.
Speaker 3: I am going back for the fiftieth anniversary. Cool next month,
Speaker 3: which is really excited.
Speaker 4: Or this month? Oh my god, what day is it?
Speaker 2: This has been no idea?
Speaker 1: Yeah this is February.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so like it weeks from now. Wow, but yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm going back. That'll yeah, that'll be first time I'm
Speaker 3: seeing a show happen.
Speaker 4: Which is cool. I'm excited.
Speaker 3: I think I have been away from the show long
Speaker 3: enough that like a lot of anxiety feelings I would
Speaker 3: have felt earlier, I don't really apply right now. So
Speaker 3: I'm mostly excited, like, see people haven't seen it in
Speaker 3: a while and yeah, party.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's gonna be awesome. Good for you. That's so
Speaker 2: thank you for answering that question. It's I it just
Speaker 2: occurred to me that you were the perfect person asked
Speaker 2: you know you want to hear Chris.
Speaker 3: Sure.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but but right before I was talking with Kristin
Speaker 1: Shall the other day and we were then she said
Speaker 1: the funniest thing about about side of life. She's like, ugh,
Speaker 1: they give themselves a party after every show.
Speaker 4: It's pretty congratulatory.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's such a funny thing because it is it's
Speaker 5: like like we've we've run a comedy show for twenty
Speaker 5: years or whatever, but like it wasn't a party every night,
Speaker 5: but it was such a funny thing to say about
Speaker 5: the show. It's like, that's the one thing that no
Speaker 5: one has ever complained about Saturday is that they have
Speaker 5: a nice after party for the guests who only do
Speaker 5: it once.
Speaker 4: Yeah, can you believe every single week.
Speaker 1: Let's be exhausting partying that much?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah, because he also like worked so many
Speaker 3: hours all week and then you're like, yeah, now I'm
Speaker 3: up till.
Speaker 1: And then it's like, now you have to stay out
Speaker 1: till four am? Did Dakota Johnson locked customers inside a
Speaker 1: blue bottle coffee? This is from Vulture.
Speaker 2: This is ah.
Speaker 1: This is from two years ago by Rebecca Alter. Thanks
Speaker 1: for Rebecca, Becca altered the.
Speaker 2: Best of this? Who sent it?
Speaker 1: I got this off of I got this off of Reddit.
Speaker 1: Buddy still my own research.
Speaker 2: Dave Reddit, Yeah, Dave Reddit.
Speaker 1: Bobby read it. Dakota Johnson, actress, celebrity daughter, famous bangs
Speaker 1: have r citru fiber trusaheran hostage taker question mark. That
Speaker 1: is why Rebecca's the best in the biz. Rebecca Walter
Speaker 1: Johnson has been in the news lately for her recent
Speaker 1: roles in critically lauded projects blah blah blah blah. On Sunday,
Speaker 1: a Twitter user with the handle at biz socks Say
Speaker 1: you Know It's Real tweeted the Lime video with a
Speaker 1: Dakota anecdote. He claimed to affirm the pure chaos she
Speaker 1: radiates true story. Dakota Johnson once locked me and my
Speaker 1: mom inside a Blue Bottle coffee shop because the briester
Speaker 1: told her she couldn't make the coffee herself. Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: This sounds to be the sort of far fetched story
Speaker 1: that stan Twitter sometimes likes to make up, but biz
Speaker 1: Socks didn't single that he was joking, and it only
Speaker 1: got stranger when he followed up with what appears to
Speaker 1: be evidence of Dakota Johnson. Johnson handling the door to
Speaker 1: a Blue Bottle coffee location, writing that she quote closed
Speaker 1: the door on all of us who are still inside,
Speaker 1: pulled a rope out of her bag, tied the doors shut,
Speaker 1: walked away. We had to have a passer by untie
Speaker 1: the rope so we could get out. And then there's
Speaker 1: a photograph of Dakota Johnson with the doors at it.
Speaker 2: Oh, I bet she did it.
Speaker 1: Based on this photo alone, there's still an opportunity for
Speaker 1: Johnson to say that's not true. Allen, Okay, the pick
Speaker 1: doesn't show her actually shutting the door or tying the road.
Speaker 1: Thar aren't any viral videos of the incident floating around,
Speaker 1: but last October, a staff member who worked at the
Speaker 1: same Blue Bottle tweeted their own claim about Johnson. This
Speaker 1: is unrelated quote. One time she came into my coffee
Speaker 1: shop at Milk Studios at like eleven am, walked behind
Speaker 1: the counter and started pretending that she was making drinks
Speaker 1: while her people tied the front doors shut from the
Speaker 1: outside and started filming her customers were trapped inside. The
Speaker 1: details of the legend incident very slightly, but overall it's
Speaker 1: an eerily similar anecdote. And the location in Bizsock's picture
Speaker 1: is Milk Studios. This is like, let's just ask the
Speaker 1: person at this point in the at the article, it's like,
Speaker 1: just do the reporter thing where you actually ask the
Speaker 1: people involved as opposed to Yeah, So she reached out
Speaker 1: to Bis Socks, who turned out to be a New
Speaker 1: York named l j And He's been trying to make.
Speaker 2: Sense of this, yeemes.
Speaker 1: Before we spoke on the phone, he suggested that Johnson's
Speaker 1: take no prisoner's approach to the Latte Arts might have
Speaker 1: had something to do with a video the actress made
Speaker 1: for her SI January twenty seventeen Vogue cover story. Ok
Speaker 1: And it was filmed at Milk Studios and at the
Speaker 1: one oh seven Mark. Johnson wears the same floral Gucci
Speaker 1: dress the scene in the Blue Bottle photo. Blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. Okay, here is. I was waiting in
Speaker 1: line behind who turned out to be Dacota Johnson, and
Speaker 1: I was like, this woman looks so familiar. Couldn't place it.
Speaker 1: I was like, it might be Emily Blunt, but then
Speaker 1: when I saw her face, I don't know because she.
Speaker 4: I didn't know who the hell this was. Could have been.
Speaker 3: Could have been Anna Kendrick, could have been I could
Speaker 3: have been l Fanning.
Speaker 4: I didn't even know. I couldn't couldn't place her.
Speaker 1: Is this is this generic white actress?
Speaker 2: I think it is.
Speaker 1: I went over to my mom and was like, hey,
Speaker 1: don't make a big deal, but that's Dakota Johnson from
Speaker 1: Fifty Shades of Gray. That's the reference point for Dakota
Speaker 1: Johnson's I don't.
Speaker 2: Think so, that's by far her biggest franchise.
Speaker 3: Yeah really, oh yeah, I think how Yeah she made
Speaker 3: a splash.
Speaker 1: Am I thinking of the same Dakota. She was a
Speaker 1: child actor, Dakota love Oh. I mean that would have
Speaker 1: been Fanning.
Speaker 3: Very wild if Dakota Fanning was locking people right, and
Speaker 3: I would have been like what.
Speaker 4: But Dakota Johnson, I kind of like, I can see it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I can see That's now you can understand why
Speaker 1: I brought the story to the podcast. I don't know names. Also,
Speaker 1: I was shocked to fight out Dakota Fanning.
Speaker 5: Lovable Dakota Fanning, child actor was in Fifty Shades of Gray.
Speaker 2: Very upset. Yeah, you know, they got.
Speaker 1: Quick, okay, but then she pulled like a rope out
Speaker 1: of her purse and literally just tied the door shut.
Speaker 1: One of the baristas ran over and was like, no, no,
Speaker 1: you can't do that. Stop and she just walked away.
Speaker 1: We were all inside looking completely dumbfounded as people were
Speaker 1: walking by. We were knocking on the door, and this
Speaker 1: couple stopped and figured out what we were doing and
Speaker 1: untied the rope. Yeah good, that's crazy.
Speaker 2: Wow, Wildfire Country.
Speaker 1: You know, I'll let you know that. This goes on
Speaker 1: for about eight more paragraphs and I'm not gonna read anymore.
Speaker 2: But there's no definitive. So the answer is she did
Speaker 2: do this is what that?
Speaker 1: Yes, she did.
Speaker 2: In the next eight paragraphs, it's saying she did do
Speaker 2: it wild.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it looks like based on these two people. Yeah.
Speaker 3: The first thing that popped in my mind is is
Speaker 3: she doing a prank show like a hidden camera like
Speaker 3: it's a it's punked, But she she's the only one
Speaker 3: like altercating, like she's the she's the instigator in every prank.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's just like, yeah, Dakota Dakota's rules or something.
Speaker 2: I could see. I mean, she would be the last
Speaker 2: person I would assume to do a prank show, which
Speaker 2: might make her the best person to do a prank show.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Also, I can one of the accounts had said that
Speaker 4: her people use the rope on the Yeah two, is
Speaker 4: that what it said?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Who's walking around with ropes? These tastes are celebrities walking
Speaker 2: around with ropes in their backs.
Speaker 1: None of it's also very very fifty shades of gray
Speaker 1: to walk around.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she has it for photos in case any fans
Speaker 3: come up and they're like, do the thing, and she
Speaker 3: pulls out the rope.
Speaker 4: She's like, okay, guys.
Speaker 1: I you know, I just already forgot that this wasn't
Speaker 1: Dakota Fanning, And I wanted to make the joke that
Speaker 1: if the prank show is called Fanning the Flames, everyone
Speaker 1: would love it. But then I had to look at
Speaker 1: it and see that her name is d Cooda Johnson,
Speaker 1: and that joke doesn't work. So I still wanted to
Speaker 1: say it, so I did.
Speaker 3: Josh and Johnson, Well that's good, just Johnson, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's cool. I mean, okay, so she was born
Speaker 2: into Hollywood royalty, and she's always acted a little differently,
Speaker 2: and she likes to make her own blue bottle coffee.
Speaker 2: I think the one part that's confusing to me is
Speaker 2: if I was a barista working there and the Coda Johnson. Really, honestly,
Speaker 2: any celebrity came around and started making coffee, I'd be
Speaker 2: okay with it. I would say this is a great
Speaker 2: moment the one. The fact that there's not lots of
Speaker 2: video of it is the most suss part for me,
Speaker 2: because you think everybody in that place would film it
Speaker 2: the whole time and post it exactly.
Speaker 4: That's true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, speaking of prank shows, so she did did you
Speaker 1: ever do a prank show?
Speaker 3: I auditioned for a prank show some random MTV thing
Speaker 3: that maybe didn't even happen.
Speaker 4: I can't remember.
Speaker 3: It was like years and years ago, and the audition
Speaker 3: was pranking someone, which like right, like now, I'm like,
Speaker 3: is that right?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I had like had an inner ear piece. They sent
Speaker 3: me into the world. No release forms were signed, and
Speaker 3: because it was an audition, right, it was an audition, yes,
Speaker 3: and I had to they I think the story was
Speaker 3: like I had to go up to a stranger and
Speaker 3: be like, oh my god, Eric, we met and like
Speaker 3: make up this whole backstory of like, oh we met
Speaker 3: at a party.
Speaker 4: We had such a great.
Speaker 3: Connection, and the guy's like, oh sorry, I don't remember you,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh, oh okay, no, It's just that
Speaker 3: meant a lot to me and like may make the
Speaker 3: try to really like pull heart strings, and it ended
Speaker 3: up being like nice, like he was like yeah, he
Speaker 3: like he felt bad. He was like, oh, I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: I don't remember you, but you seemed great blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: And then he walked away and like I was like, great,
Speaker 3: successful prank. And then the producers like, now go back
Speaker 3: to that guy and start the exact same conversation. And
Speaker 3: I was like what so I had to go back
Speaker 3: and be like, oh my god, Eric, and he was
Speaker 3: like and then like the fear in his face was
Speaker 3: like yeah, oh no, oh she's off.
Speaker 4: Something's off here, Like I'm talking to a crazy person.
Speaker 3: And I felt so bad because I was like he
Speaker 3: could have gone about his day being like what a
Speaker 3: crazy interaction.
Speaker 4: Now he's like, oh, this.
Speaker 3: Is wild, and I didn't even get the job. And
Speaker 3: I was like I ruined some man's day and I
Speaker 3: didn't even get the job.
Speaker 2: Well that's New York City. I mean you could have
Speaker 2: the same person walking up to you repeatedly starting the
Speaker 2: same sentence over and over and over and just okay,
Speaker 2: here we go.
Speaker 1: That is the thing that you don't realize, Like the
Speaker 1: people watching prankiss don't realize that this is that the
Speaker 1: person has an earpiece and there's just a producer being
Speaker 1: like push it, yeah, push it farther, do it more,
Speaker 1: be worse. I did one. I did one. It was
Speaker 1: again I guess it was just a pilot. It never
Speaker 1: made it to air, thank fucking god. Only had to
Speaker 1: do this once.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was based on a British prank show. And this
Speaker 1: was again I was twenty two, I think. And it
Speaker 1: was a character that they did in England or in
Speaker 1: the UK for a while called Mister Stinks. And he
Speaker 1: just smelled bad, that was the deal. And he would
Speaker 1: just go on dates with people and he just smelled bad.
Speaker 2: That was all.
Speaker 1: So they got this suit for me and they like
Speaker 1: soaked it in coyote piss and skunk stuff. They like
Speaker 1: ordered all this stuff off the internet. And it smelt
Speaker 1: so bad that when I would put it on, like
Speaker 1: I would almost be gagging.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then there and it was women who would set
Speaker 1: up their friends. So they would say, I have a
Speaker 1: blind date for you. I think you're really gonna like
Speaker 1: this guy. So it's all these women who would set
Speaker 1: up their friend. And then it was just how long
Speaker 1: I could keep them at the date, Like, and I
Speaker 1: smelt so bad and it was just upsetting. It was
Speaker 1: just essentially upsetting. It was either people being like, you
Speaker 1: smell bad, I'm not good doing this, and it was
Speaker 1: like why do we make them do that? Or it
Speaker 1: would be people who are just being really polite and
Speaker 1: like sticking it out through the date. Oh, and it
Speaker 1: was and the only thing I could do was like
Speaker 1: get closer to the person. That was the only way
Speaker 1: to like escalate the thing. Like yeah, and then and
Speaker 1: my dressing room was the back of a mini van,
Speaker 1: so I'd like change and it was it was February.
Speaker 1: It was like negative twenty degrees out.
Speaker 3: Which is also like I guess it's bad for the dates,
Speaker 3: but it's worse for you, Like, yeah, you are the
Speaker 3: one wearing that.
Speaker 4: Your nose is closest to all of.
Speaker 1: The clothing, and it's like an eight hour day or
Speaker 1: like having it on for eight hours straight.
Speaker 2: It was so oh, mister stinks, look it up. Wow.
Speaker 2: That sounds terrible. But I do miss when Cable made
Speaker 2: shows like now we're at the point where it's in
Speaker 2: practical jokers or nothing else. It's it good for those guys,
Speaker 2: for Bill an empire that is unfathomably popular and huge,
Speaker 2: And Sal's always been a cool dude, but like, there
Speaker 2: was a time where all of us made a little
Speaker 2: bit of money here and there just doing pilots for
Speaker 2: MTV or VH one or IFC or Comedy Central or
Speaker 2: I mean it was a w true TV. It was
Speaker 2: like you could relyled making I don't know, five grand
Speaker 2: or whatever in a year just doing some dumb cable
Speaker 2: shows or a little writer's room. And how that is
Speaker 2: just gone.
Speaker 1: It's gone.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a lot of those networks are gone. All those
Speaker 4: shows are gone.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I can't just bop in somewhere like.
Speaker 3: For a week and be like all right, that's I
Speaker 3: got some money, you know, like just like little guest
Speaker 3: spots here and there.
Speaker 4: It doesn't really happen.
Speaker 2: You did inside Amy Schumer at one point, right, yeah, right,
Speaker 2: great example, there was a time where kamed Central had
Speaker 2: I think all at once they had Colbert and Daily Show,
Speaker 2: they had Tash and South Park, and then they had Workaholics,
Speaker 2: Broad City, Kroll, Schumer, Key and Peel they had, I
Speaker 2: mean just.
Speaker 1: That same time.
Speaker 2: Talent alone is unthinkable, how many great comedic pieces they
Speaker 2: had and now it's just gone. Now it's just the
Speaker 2: office reruns.
Speaker 1: And so crazy.
Speaker 2: It's all of that talent and they lost all of it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and GOM Central presents like and they had the half
Speaker 2: hours and the hours. It's wild how that how ten
Speaker 2: years ago we all could rely on selling stuff for
Speaker 2: being in our friends things on that network and now
Speaker 2: it is office reruns. Wild. Yeah, we got to take
Speaker 2: it back. Now it's just all podcasting now, that's what
Speaker 2: it is. Everybody's podcast really is.
Speaker 3: Everyone has a podcast, and they're all also TV shows.
Speaker 3: They're also all videos too. They're not actually no listen
Speaker 3: to the podcast, they watch it on their phone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really true. If I had bet on YouTube correctly. Boy,
Speaker 2: YouTube just is still a juggernaut, like everything else falls away,
Speaker 2: and YouTube is just getting bigger and bigger. Yeah, wild times. Uh,
Speaker 2: speaking of getting bigger and bigger, Whiskey Bacon sent this
Speaker 2: one in. This was in People magazine, so you know
Speaker 2: it's medium. It's by Carol Lynn Schultz, who's the best
Speaker 2: in the medium. Biz Man twenty two years of age
Speaker 2: is allergic to his own orgasms and his symptoms can
Speaker 2: last for days.
Speaker 1: No, he is not.
Speaker 2: This is a People magazine, Kert.
Speaker 1: I mean people vets. People vets people, So all right,
Speaker 1: I'm excited. Tell me about it.
Speaker 2: A man who has experienced extreme physical and mental distress
Speaker 2: following an org. Kert, this is an affliction.
Speaker 1: That's an affliction.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Kert, this is an affliction.
Speaker 1: We can't This is like that time we heard that
Speaker 1: story about the oh the woman about the dropping, you know,
Speaker 1: the tower at amusement parks where it just drops. You know,
Speaker 1: it was a story about what that that malfunc should had.
Speaker 1: They dropped for twenty four hours, over and over. It
Speaker 1: was like eighteen thousand times, Oh my god, that we
Speaker 1: could not stop laughing. And turns out we got duped.
Speaker 1: It was just a fake starf We laughed so hard
Speaker 1: the whole time, just being like, now, this is the tragedy.
Speaker 1: This will probably be horrible to be on. But this
Speaker 1: is also the funniest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2: All Right, this one's not quite as wild as that one.
Speaker 2: But a man, a man it is. He's only twenty two,
Speaker 2: so you know, there's there's time.
Speaker 1: There's time he could grow out of his.
Speaker 2: As.
Speaker 1: Has he tried zirtech? That's my first question.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Benadol needs to make condoms for this guy. A
Speaker 2: man who experienced extreme physical and mental distress following an orgasm.
Speaker 2: Research his symptoms online, and he has learned he has
Speaker 2: a rare disorder that he is allergic to his own orgasms.
Speaker 1: He's not allergic it. Maybe it's caused by it. But
Speaker 1: the word allergic is not the right word for this
Speaker 1: man's condition.
Speaker 2: I don't know. As he turns out, he was right.
Speaker 2: A twenty two year old man sought care after documenting
Speaker 2: that for years he experienced flu like symptoms for several
Speaker 2: hours after ejaculation. According to the American Journal of Case Reports,
Speaker 2: he struggled with weakness, malays, running nose, itchy eyes. His
Speaker 2: symptoms began two to three hours kurt this is an
Speaker 2: affliction two to three hours after ejaculation, and by eight
Speaker 2: to ten hours they were worse, progressing into conjunctiveviis abdominal pain,
Speaker 2: muscle pain, cognitive impairment, and he described his brain was
Speaker 2: not functioning what These episodes lasted for two to three days,
Speaker 2: preventing him from going to work, and research notes that
Speaker 2: due to these reactions, he avoided sexual activity and had
Speaker 2: difficulty in relationship.
Speaker 1: Can imagine I can imagine?
Speaker 2: Did the true edge Lord? He arrived for in evaluation
Speaker 2: notes after reading online about hyposensitization to sperm. However, a
Speaker 2: skin test determined he wasn't allergic to his own semen,
Speaker 2: So that's a positive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's.
Speaker 2: A little silver lining in there.
Speaker 1: He's not allergic.
Speaker 2: He's not allergic to his own semen. That's just the
Speaker 2: orgasms just having a great time with doctors concluding that
Speaker 2: mass cells, a type of immune cells, were triggering the
Speaker 2: allergic reaction. The condition post orgasmic illness syndrome POIS or POISSE,
Speaker 2: is a rare condition with unclear causes. A study in
Speaker 2: Nature says, adding that it affects the quality of life
Speaker 2: of men. Yes, I imagined it would wow. In the
Speaker 2: case of this twenty two year old. Also, good on
Speaker 2: Carol Lynn Schultz for just not naming this guy. This
Speaker 2: guy deserves some anonymity here. In the case of this
Speaker 2: twenty two year old, he was treated with omal. Oh man,
Speaker 2: this is a crazy word. Omal Liz zoom maab omala zoomab. Sorry.
Speaker 2: I know it sounds like I'm making things up, but
Speaker 2: in the US it's known as exolayer, which can treat
Speaker 2: hives and asthma. So there you go.
Speaker 1: That's crazy.
Speaker 2: The exolaire resulted in complete resolution of symptoms the case sets,
Speaker 2: and adding that after seven months he stopped taking the medication,
Speaker 2: which resulted in the symptoms returning. This guy's going to
Speaker 2: be taking exo layer or zo layer. Maybe it's zo layer,
Speaker 2: it's xol Yeah, we'll go zolair. That sounds cooler. While
Speaker 2: on zolair, the patient is symptom free and feels comfortable
Speaker 2: engaging in sexual activity. That's a win. Given its effectiveness
Speaker 2: and the fact that the patient tried other medications beforehand
Speaker 2: with zero success, we recommended that he continues on o'mal
Speaker 2: zoomab for life so it has a happy ending. They
Speaker 2: can treat his allergic reaction to his own orgasms. Wow
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 1: Here's here's a would you rather for you this year?
Speaker 1: Say you had this, but the medication that you took
Speaker 1: I had a side effect where even when you weren't
Speaker 1: engaged in sexual activity, just normally, you would just flap
Speaker 1: your hand, like flap your arm like a chicken, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like this like this, So
Speaker 1: that's kind of how you would go through life, and
Speaker 1: if people asked you about it, you'd have to be, oh,
Speaker 1: this is a side effect of my medication. So that
Speaker 1: I can come. Which which would you choose to not
Speaker 1: to have the allergic reaction or to have that medication.
Speaker 3: I mean, this is actually kind of easy for me
Speaker 3: because I feel like women's birth control already does that.
Speaker 3: It's it's already like I do you want to get
Speaker 3: pregnant or have your arm flap consistently? Like if I
Speaker 3: guess I'll have my arm flap consistently, then fine. But
Speaker 3: like the amount of friends I talked to and people
Speaker 3: in my family that's like, oh well, I don't come
Speaker 3: any more, or I sweat, I night sweat, or I
Speaker 3: get migraines or you know, it's like all these things
Speaker 3: because we have just consistently been put on birth control
Speaker 3: and like no other options have been given to us. True,
Speaker 3: this is our life, this is what we does deal
Speaker 3: with all the time. And also, like part of me
Speaker 3: was kind of jealous hearing this story because I'm like, Wow,
Speaker 3: these doctors really took time to investigate what was going
Speaker 3: on with this young man. That's so wonderful. I don't
Speaker 3: know what that's like. I don't know that does not
Speaker 3: happen to women hardly ever. If a woman went in
Speaker 3: was like this weird thing's happening to me. They'd be like,
Speaker 3: you're hysterical, Like something's wrong with you.
Speaker 4: You're exaggerating. You probably have a cold bite like there's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's probably in your head.
Speaker 2: You probably have a cold. Get on birth control, yeah, well,
Speaker 2: or Tricyclin's coming for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: There's been times where I actually questions about something and
Speaker 3: they're like, you should just get on birth control. And
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm literally got off of birth control because
Speaker 3: it was causing other problems.
Speaker 4: And they're like, yeah, but that's the only way I know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but wasn't it. Yes, because we have samples.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you should try this one instead.
Speaker 1: Actually, And that's why Scotty and I recommend vasectomies. Boys
Speaker 1: pas no, no no side effects.
Speaker 2: Leep, Like yeah, the only side effect is great night's
Speaker 2: sleep for the rest of your life, zero worries. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's a There was a thing I read a few
Speaker 2: years ago that were all these women that started on
Speaker 2: birth control in like as early as eighth grade or
Speaker 2: seventh grade, and then we're on it in high school
Speaker 2: and we're in college. They met the dudes they were
Speaker 2: going to marry. Then when they got married and they
Speaker 2: were going to start families. They got off birth control
Speaker 2: and were no longer attracted to their partner yep, whoa,
Speaker 2: because the birth was tricking them into thinking they were pregnant,
Speaker 2: and then because their body constantly felt like they're pregnant,
Speaker 2: they sort of were like, oh, they had this life
Speaker 2: partner that they were clinging to, like okay, we'll raise
Speaker 2: this thing together. And then when they got off it,
Speaker 2: like the pheromones, they didn't like the way they smelled,
Speaker 2: they didn't that. When I read that, I mean maybe
Speaker 2: it's eight years ago, I was like, wow, that is what.
Speaker 2: It's not just a body thing, it's like a mind
Speaker 2: thing too.
Speaker 3: Really, I mean, I I don't want to be like
Speaker 3: birth control kept me straight. But when I was on
Speaker 3: birth control, I was consistently dating men, and I think
Speaker 3: I thought, you know, women were attractive, et cetera. But
Speaker 3: like it was' until I got off a birth control
Speaker 3: where I was like, oh wait a minute, and now yeah,
Speaker 3: yeah truly, and now I'm dating a woman and like
Speaker 3: you know, full one to eighty and not that I'm
Speaker 3: not attracted to men, but just like I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: this is very different than what I was feeling before.
Speaker 3: And I do wonder if it like dulled some some
Speaker 3: senses over the years, because I was truly I was
Speaker 3: on birth control since I was sixteen, so like, yeah,
Speaker 3: exactly when my friends were like boy crazy, I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't feel anything. And then eventually I was like,
Speaker 3: I guess I'll start dating, and like it was never
Speaker 3: I was never excited to do it until yeah, I
Speaker 3: got my hormones were doing what they did naturally, and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, wait a minute, I'm excited about ladies.
Speaker 2: That's great.
Speaker 1: Also amazing.
Speaker 2: Comically, on your Wikipedia page, you may know this, Like
Speaker 2: I looked you up, you know, yesterday when we were
Speaker 2: prepping and and it's the last fact on your Wikipedia
Speaker 2: pages in twenty twenty fours this year came out as
Speaker 2: a lesbian. That's the last thing on your Wikipedia. And
Speaker 2: I'm like, was it her or did some fan go
Speaker 2: Finally we have a new nugget of information to contribute
Speaker 2: to the encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I don't edit my Wikipedia.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course you don't.
Speaker 4: The people do.
Speaker 3: They were like, yes, you have to let people know
Speaker 3: that when you look her up, she's a lesbian.
Speaker 2: Yes, the people should know It's just a great sentence
Speaker 2: to be like somebody was like, here's a new tidbit. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you should have a tidbit section on Wikipedia.
Speaker 1: Well, they have a trivia section, and the saddest part
Speaker 1: of my Wikipedia pages it says via Kurt Brown Older
Speaker 1: is a stand up comedian.
Speaker 4: No did you know?
Speaker 1: Did you know?
Speaker 2: Little?
Speaker 4: No fact?
Speaker 2: True or false. I don't find him funny, so I'm
Speaker 2: putting false very funny, so I'm putting true.
Speaker 1: Let me seees us into some shout outs, some thumbs up.
Speaker 1: I love passenger clings on the outside of one hundred
Speaker 1: and seventy five mile per hour German train after doors
Speaker 1: shut him out on a cigarette break.
Speaker 2: Okay, on a cigarette break. They got flung to the
Speaker 2: side of one hundred and fifty mile an hour, one
Speaker 2: hundred seventy.
Speaker 4: Five mile prime or he was actually like gripping it.
Speaker 1: He was on the door, He's on the doorframe. He's
Speaker 1: just pushing himself against the doorframe. It's like an inch
Speaker 1: and a half.
Speaker 2: Dakota Johnson's just kicking him in the Chestnules, get out
Speaker 2: of here. I'm trying to make a latte. Okay, thumbs ups.
Speaker 2: First of all, I want to thank all the bananimals
Speaker 2: are we closed our go fundme for fire relief. We
Speaker 2: raised fivey, one hundred and twenty four dollars for California
Speaker 2: Fire Foundation, which goes to fire victims and the firefighters
Speaker 2: who went and fought them. So thanks, Kurt. I looked
Speaker 2: up and the multiple gofundmes we've done because of the Banana's,
Speaker 2: including Door to Shores. We've had seven hundred and fifty
Speaker 2: four individual donors to all those campaigns. We've raised forty
Speaker 2: four thousand, two hundred and thirty eight USD one hundred
Speaker 2: and ninety Canadian dollars at seventy five British pounds. So
Speaker 2: this is that funny. It breaks it down like that,
Speaker 2: So thank you. Love that to the seven hundred and
Speaker 2: fifty four people who have donated all these charitable things. Now,
Speaker 2: Autumn Schuster wants to big thumbs up her husband Jordan
Speaker 2: for getting promoted. Jordan is a reluctant but great leader,
Speaker 2: which is probably the best kind there is. That's a
Speaker 2: cool sum sence. Thumbs up to you, Jordan, way to
Speaker 2: get the promotion. U Gina Binaz thumbing up Benjamin for
Speaker 2: turning one year old. He is a day one Banana
Speaker 2: who went to a Bananas Live in Utero. Gina Iso,
Speaker 2: that's pretty good. Gina is also thumbing herself up for
Speaker 2: being two years sober. Banana skits her through tough times.
Speaker 2: Thanks for the lofts. You are welcome.
Speaker 1: Thumbs up and combs up to everybody who's in the
Speaker 1: middle of their dry sixty nine. We're right there with you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're thirty something days in. I think this is
Speaker 2: a great one. This is a truly unique one. Amber
Speaker 2: wants to thumb up Blake Brown, who's age fourteen. I
Speaker 2: think he listens to bananas too. Blake earned his personal
Speaker 2: best score three hundred and seventy six out of four
Speaker 2: hundred with fifteen bullseyes in four h BB gun shooting competition.
Speaker 2: Thumb I mean, I didn't even know there was a
Speaker 2: daisy BB gun shooting competition. He's going to the Daisy
Speaker 2: BB gun Nationals. So congratulations comes up. Let's take him
Speaker 2: to the state Fair and have him shoot out some
Speaker 2: stars and win some stuffed animals. That's a great job.
Speaker 2: Heck yeah, I'll do one more. Let's see what's a
Speaker 2: fun one. Oh, this is just a fun one. The
Speaker 2: Banana boys are thumbing up the Instagram account pdx dino Rama.
Speaker 2: There's a woman named Rachel in Portland, Orga. She builds
Speaker 2: dinosaur dioramas all around Portland and puts them out. They're
Speaker 2: just scattered around the city. You can find them on
Speaker 2: her Instagram. Or if you're just walking by in Portland
Speaker 2: and you see a diorama and it's featuring dinosaurs, it's
Speaker 2: probably Rachel's instagram pdx Dinorama. Go take a look, send
Speaker 2: us a pick. We have a lot of Portland ban animals.
Speaker 2: But that's just inserting absurdity into the world for the
Speaker 2: joy of it. So thumbs up to you, Rachel.
Speaker 1: That is y and how easy is it? That's so easy?
Speaker 1: In beauty they're really cool too, really cool. Not saying
Speaker 1: that it's not saying that the dioramas are easy to make,
Speaker 1: not at all, but I mean the impulse to insert
Speaker 1: absurdity into the world can be done so easily, you know,
Speaker 1: go and do it, folks. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I love seeing things that like make the neighborhood more fun,
Speaker 3: where it's like, oh yeah, like door painted on at
Speaker 3: the bottom of a tree to make it look like
Speaker 3: a secret tree house, or like like legos filling up
Speaker 3: potholes or something, you know, like that stuff is so
Speaker 3: fun and then you're like, there's someone creative here like that.
Speaker 4: I don't know where they are, but they're Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: Is that reminded me of I don't know if it
Speaker 3: ever got figured out.
Speaker 4: Maybe it did, but.
Speaker 3: There when I was in New York this is like
Speaker 3: two thousand and nine, I remember I kept seeing these
Speaker 3: like red ekg lines all over the place, like yeah,
Speaker 3: and I don't know who's all over the city. It
Speaker 3: felt like it was everywhere I went. So I was like,
Speaker 3: am I doing it? Am I blacking out?
Speaker 1: And it was crazy. It was like like in my neighborhood.
Speaker 3: It was like in green Point, it would be on
Speaker 3: my way to UCB. I just felt like it was everywhere,
Speaker 3: and I was like, is it one person? Is it
Speaker 3: a ring of people? Like and what does it mean?
Speaker 3: But I really loved seeing it because it made me
Speaker 3: You're like like it's like, oh my gosh, there's another one,
Speaker 3: Like like now it's a scavenger hunt, like how many
Speaker 3: little lines can I find?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I loved it.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so great. Do you do you remember from
Speaker 1: that time?
Speaker 2: We're about to say the same thing you go, I
Speaker 2: want to see.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you do you remember neck face from back
Speaker 1: in that time.
Speaker 3: I don't remember neck face, but I remember was it
Speaker 3: Dick Ham or something ham?
Speaker 4: What was the other one?
Speaker 1: I don't know, Dick Ham or neck face?
Speaker 3: Was it was chicken dick or dick chicken. That's what
Speaker 3: it was, Dick chicken. It was it was it was
Speaker 3: the body of a chicken with the head of a shaft.
Speaker 2: There you go.
Speaker 1: Uh. Neck face was just it just would say neck
Speaker 1: face and it would be kind of almost like blocky,
Speaker 1: kind of long letters, and it was all over Brooklyn
Speaker 1: back in the day, like probably yeah, two thousand and
Speaker 1: nine ten. But I guess neck face moved to La
Speaker 1: because now there's a neck face right as you come
Speaker 1: into Atwater Village. And my daughters seven saw and she
Speaker 1: was like neck face and she's like what is that?
Speaker 1: And then I just kind of explained the laffiti and
Speaker 1: pieces to her and like public art, and she was
Speaker 1: like okay, and then it was like maybe she like
Speaker 1: so then every day she got drav go neck face
Speaker 1: and say it as we drove by, and then she
Speaker 1: just like maybe it was like three weeks ago she
Speaker 1: was just like we're waiting at the light and she
Speaker 1: just goes, I'm gonna become a graef feedy artist when
Speaker 1: I grow up.
Speaker 2: Good.
Speaker 1: She's like I thought, her inspired starter.
Speaker 2: Now she's not going to go to jail. You know,
Speaker 2: she's got a good run of thirteen years or whatever
Speaker 2: before she can get arrested for it. Get her out there,
Speaker 2: get her tagging. Also, Olive's a good name for a tag.
Speaker 2: Just draw at Olive with a smiley face.
Speaker 1: I like that.
Speaker 4: That's great.
Speaker 2: I was going to say, I'm sure you all remember this,
Speaker 2: and I hope you haven't forgotten this. But there was
Speaker 2: somebody used to go around, especially Brooklyn, and they would
Speaker 2: outline the shadows of from street lights on signs and
Speaker 2: stuff and so on the concrete there'd be a chalk
Speaker 2: outline of the sign or the bike or whatever. And
Speaker 2: I could never catch the person who's doing it. But
Speaker 2: like I'd go into a bar and come out and
Speaker 2: somebody would have done it. But all they would do
Speaker 2: is wherever the street light was, whatever projected the shadow
Speaker 2: on the parking meter or the no parking time, they
Speaker 2: would just outline that with chalk on the sidewalk.
Speaker 1: It was so smart.
Speaker 2: It's so simple.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so simple. That's so beautiful. I love that.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna assume. I'm just gonna assume that was a year,
Speaker 2: because why not. Great job. We love your your public art.
Speaker 2: She control, she was blacked out the whole time, kissing
Speaker 2: dudes and shadows, smooching dudes and drawn shadows.
Speaker 1: That's the wild time. All right, let's I'll send us
Speaker 1: home with this. This is from The Independent, so it's
Speaker 1: sort of real. This is written by Natalie Wilson. Thank you, Natalie,
Speaker 1: you are the best in the business. You can, of
Speaker 1: course send your your strange news to us. Our Instagram
Speaker 1: is The Bananas Podcast. You can DM us there, or
Speaker 1: you can email us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. Passenger clings onto outside of one hundred and
Speaker 1: seventy five mile per hour German train after doors shut
Speaker 1: him out on cigarette break. The man held on for
Speaker 1: almost twenty miles as the train sped at one hundred
Speaker 1: and seventy five miles per hour. A fair evading passenger
Speaker 1: clung to the cables of a high speed German train
Speaker 1: after a lengthy cigarette break saw the carriage doors close
Speaker 1: on his luggage. Unwilling to be left behind without his bags.
Speaker 1: The man jumped onto the outside of the train when
Speaker 1: it punctually pulled away while he was still smoking an
Speaker 1: Inglestat state at Inglestat station, reported the BBC. The forty
Speaker 1: year old Hungarian national held onto a bracket between carriages
Speaker 1: as the train continued to Nuremberg at one hundred and
Speaker 1: seventy five miles per hour.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: He had boarded the IC train Munich without a valid
Speaker 1: ticket before getting off the train for a cigarette at Inglestat,
Speaker 1: please said. The inter City Express train on a six
Speaker 1: hour journey in the northern city of Lubec was stopped
Speaker 1: by federal police nineteen miles away in Kinding, Upper Bavaria
Speaker 1: after witnesses alerted officials to the stowway.
Speaker 4: Well, he said, six hour journey or the.
Speaker 1: He went twenty miles at one hundred and seventy five
Speaker 1: miles per hour, So what that's like maybe six minutes
Speaker 1: or something. Okay, but you can go six hours on
Speaker 1: this train, apparently, I guess that's what.
Speaker 4: But they're like, we have to stop this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, I'm running the numbers over here. So
Speaker 2: he went twenty miles doing one hundred and seventy five
Speaker 2: miles an hour? No, is that what you said?
Speaker 1: Yeah? How many minats somewhere?
Speaker 2: Would that say?
Speaker 1: Sixty into one seventy five is something like two and
Speaker 1: a half and then two and a half times twenty,
Speaker 1: So it's like, oh, okay, forty yeah, no really yeah, forty.
Speaker 2: Minute, we're on it. Fifty eight fifty eight minutes twenty miles.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, it can't be. We did our we did.
Speaker 2: I listened to you. I'll never do that again. Where's Ai?
Speaker 2: Where's Ai?
Speaker 3: This is like one of those like textbook math questions
Speaker 3: where it's like a man jumps on a train at
Speaker 3: one hundred and seventy five miles per hour.
Speaker 1: Twenty sorry, no, it's more like twenty seconds eleven minutes
Speaker 1: a mile over twenty seconds. Yeah yeah, yeah, I did
Speaker 1: it the other way around. Yeah, it's eleven minutes.
Speaker 2: But that's crazy.
Speaker 4: That's still crazy.
Speaker 3: That's still really crazy, especially because I guess I don't
Speaker 3: know how those trains work, but on like a New
Speaker 3: York subway, if you hit the emergency, either it stops
Speaker 3: or the conductor gets alerted immediately.
Speaker 4: So like, did they just watch him do that for
Speaker 4: ten minutes?
Speaker 3: And someone was like right, Okay, I'll tell the person,
Speaker 3: I don't this looks unsafe.
Speaker 1: Everyone's just looking at their phone the whole time, but yeah,
Speaker 1: probably right. I mean we used when I would go
Speaker 1: out because I had a I had a surf shack
Speaker 1: in Rockaway, like a quarter block from the beach, and
Speaker 1: so I would often do shows and then get on
Speaker 1: the A train and take the A train all the
Speaker 1: way out to Rockaway to surf in the morning, and
Speaker 1: we we routinely, routinely would pee between the cars because
Speaker 1: like you would just be on the train for an
Speaker 1: hour and a half after like you know, in your twenties,
Speaker 1: like drinking, probably after your show, and it was it
Speaker 1: was often done, and it was terrifying. And that train
Speaker 1: goes like fifteen miles an hour. Yeah, but to ride
Speaker 1: in between subway cars is like terrifying, and you know,
Speaker 1: nothing bad it's gonna happen because it's like you're kind
Speaker 1: of walled in on all sides. So I can't imagine
Speaker 1: one hundred and seventy five miles an hour like that.
Speaker 2: No, that's so fast. I once got to ride in
Speaker 2: the pace car at a NASCAR event out just outside
Speaker 2: of La we were I was with the workhogs dudes,
Speaker 2: and we got to do like a lap before the
Speaker 2: actual race, and that guy that drives the official it
Speaker 2: was like a jacked up Camray or whatever. It was
Speaker 2: down one hundred and ten. But it you know, like
Speaker 2: when you were kids on the highway or something, somebody
Speaker 2: would get up to one hundred and be so scary
Speaker 2: and all our shitty cars would shake and you'd be like,
Speaker 2: oh my god. But for somebody to do it sustained
Speaker 2: and then turning it was wild. It was like I
Speaker 2: was like, well, I guess this guy's a pro. It's
Speaker 2: a good day to die, because but one hundred and
Speaker 2: ten fell out of control and he was just you know,
Speaker 2: calm as can be talking to us, and you're like,
Speaker 2: damn man, that's it was wild.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wild.
Speaker 3: I gotta know what was in that suitcase or that bag.
Speaker 3: But he left, Like what why is it so important
Speaker 3: that you couldn't like just wait till the train got
Speaker 3: to the next station called the customer service.
Speaker 4: Or whatever to be like, hey, I lost my bag.
Speaker 3: Like he had to jump on like risk his life
Speaker 3: essentially for whatever was in that bag.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great question. What was it? What was
Speaker 2: it illegal? Or was it just so important was it
Speaker 2: an anniversary present.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing that was in the briefcase in
Speaker 1: pulp fiction. It was just light. He couldn't let his
Speaker 1: light get away.
Speaker 2: Controls the light, That's what it was. It was just
Speaker 2: a cheese tray, like it is. That is what is
Speaker 2: worth risking your Like we all just experienced this because
Speaker 2: we all just fled when we had to evacuate, and
Speaker 2: it was like you find yourself grabbing the bare minimum
Speaker 2: and nothing simultaneously.
Speaker 1: I bought nothing. I brought nothing other than the kid's
Speaker 1: dog and wife. I didn't really bring the wife.
Speaker 4: She brought herself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what did you grab?
Speaker 3: I grabbed. I actually was really impressed with how prepared
Speaker 3: I was. Had a go back and then one other
Speaker 3: outfit I didn't.
Speaker 4: I only had a sports the sports bra I was wearing.
Speaker 3: I forgot to pack other bras, but I was like, well,
Speaker 3: eventually I'll go home, I guess, or just buy them.
Speaker 3: And then I did try to have some keepsakes, like, uh,
Speaker 3: my friend Nicole bought me a wrap for like toy,
Speaker 3: like like a white.
Speaker 4: Friend, and I was like, I gotta have this.
Speaker 1: That's really funny.
Speaker 3: Some love letters and the deed to my house.
Speaker 1: That's smart. Yeah, that's incredibly smart to grab the deed deer.
Speaker 1: I left it all. I left it deeds to my car,
Speaker 1: like titles for my car, deeds to my house. But
Speaker 1: it was all there.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I did a pretty good job.
Speaker 2: You're very well. You're a good survival partner. That's good
Speaker 2: to know. God, it was a yeah, it's interesting to
Speaker 2: see what you grab again. Going back to this guy,
Speaker 2: what could it have been? Like it is? I wish
Speaker 2: that the story had that in there. It seems so
Speaker 2: I know gold bars, right? Was he like an old
Speaker 2: door to door salesman who sold kids whistles and and
Speaker 2: and butter knives? And you're like, what is this and
Speaker 2: who is this man? That's really butter knives? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what potato what you're selling? And hungry? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe you're selling potato peelers.
Speaker 2: He seemed playing cards, tricks, you know, fun things. Uh,
Speaker 2: it would be funny if it was empty. You just
Speaker 2: really liked that bag. He's just obsessed with such a.
Speaker 4: They don't make this bag anymore. I can't get another one.
Speaker 4: It's greative.
Speaker 1: It was actually a plastic bag. Just plastic bag tied
Speaker 1: it half.
Speaker 2: It's always recycled.
Speaker 1: Damn.
Speaker 2: So shere where can they find you? Plug away? Where
Speaker 2: can the bananamals hunt you down and become your best friend?
Speaker 3: But animals can go to my website sosheer dot com
Speaker 3: and I try to update it, but I probably don't.
Speaker 3: And right now it's accurate and my socials are at
Speaker 3: the Sheer Truth thhe Sheer Truth. And you can watch
Speaker 3: my special The First Woman on Hulu or on YouTube.
Speaker 3: My first special, Peace of Mind is also on Amazon
Speaker 3: maybe Hulu. There's It's in places and uh everywhere. And
Speaker 3: Agatha Along is on Disney Plus.
Speaker 2: That's a hit. It's a hit, bab, You're in a hit.
Speaker 3: And yeah, just like you know, follow me to keep
Speaker 3: updated on what I'm doing and listen to best friends.
Speaker 2: Listen to best friends and have the best time in
Speaker 2: SNL fifty year reunion or part of history. That's going
Speaker 2: to be very cool and exciting. It's somehow cathartic and
Speaker 2: make those stress go away when you can just party
Speaker 2: and hang out, I hope.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm feeling good about it. It feels like like
Speaker 3: a college re engineer or something. Yeah, I'm excited to
Speaker 3: go back to where it began.
Speaker 1: Oh heck, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: Banana's Ben Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Speaker 1: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 2: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 1: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 2: And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and
Speaker 2: Georgia Hartstart
Speaker 1: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
Speaker 1: intern