1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:00,720
Speaker 1: This is John.

2
00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,480
Speaker 2: This is your og Okay Storytime podcast hosts, and we

3
00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:07,320
Speaker 2: have some rocking stories for you coming up. But before

4
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:09,920
Speaker 2: you rock out with your socks out, I got a

5
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,440
Speaker 2: quick two minute ad break from a sponsors, keeping the

6
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,520
Speaker 2: show rocking and rolling.

7
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,320
Speaker 3: My friend demanded I ask for her permission before getting

8
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:18,920
Speaker 3: a job.

9
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,120
Speaker 1: Is she your boss? Because that's the only way that

10
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:22,680
Speaker 1: makes sense.

11
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,520
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes directly from the Okay Storytime Separated.

12
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,720
Speaker 3: I thirty four female have a best friend, Kit thirty

13
00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,960
Speaker 3: five female. She was the maid of honor at my

14
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,560
Speaker 3: wedding last year, so she's in every photo. My best

15
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,680
Speaker 3: friend of eight years and our husbands are that couple

16
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,440
Speaker 3: that always hangs out together. She had been with her

17
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,720
Speaker 3: husband for seven years and mine for four. We lived

18
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,040
Speaker 3: three hundred meters away from each other by the beach

19
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,360
Speaker 3: for one and a half years, so we would hang

20
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,519
Speaker 3: out every single weekend. We would get wasted on Friday

21
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,280
Speaker 3: night then be too hungover the rest of the weekend,

22
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,800
Speaker 3: but we had some fun time. By the way, this

23
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,280
Speaker 3: comes from one sixty eight thirty four And if you

24
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,360
Speaker 3: want us to make your own stories, go to the

25
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,959
Speaker 3: arsash Okay Storytime Supbreddit I'm Carly.

26
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,160
Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, and we're here.

27
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,640
Speaker 3: To give good advice. Goofully, but we don't have all

28
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,160
Speaker 3: the answers. We only know what we would do, So

29
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,880
Speaker 3: let us know what you would do in the comments.

30
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,680
Speaker 3: My husband and I bought a house about twenty five

31
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:21,440
Speaker 3: minutes away in the suburbs. I am a full time

32
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,440
Speaker 3: student on my last term of UNI. Finally, my husband's

33
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:28,080
Speaker 3: family is pretty well off and he has a trust

34
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,240
Speaker 3: fund that he used to buy the house, and his

35
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,959
Speaker 3: family also helped, so there's no mortgage, which, being in

36
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,080
Speaker 3: the second most unaffordable city in the world, you know,

37
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,679
Speaker 3: that's a huge weight off our shoulders. My husband was

38
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,080
Speaker 3: a surgeon back in Europe, but came here to do

39
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,600
Speaker 3: a PhD and changed his direction in health. And six

40
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,200
Speaker 3: months before the wedding, my dad cheated on my mom

41
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,920
Speaker 3: and left her for the other woman. He left my

42
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,280
Speaker 3: mother with my autistic sister, who was going through the

43
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,800
Speaker 3: worst domestic abuse situation. She was forced to have two

44
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,680
Speaker 3: children with this guy, and they are non verbal autistic,

45
00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,160
Speaker 3: so it is very hard for her. My father also

46
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,280
Speaker 3: cut my mother off financially. I told my husband, I

47
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,840
Speaker 3: want to postpone the wedding, but he wouldn't allow it

48
00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:14,760
Speaker 3: as we had his family coming from overseas. The entire year,

49
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,160
Speaker 3: I was depressed, and my father ended up coming to

50
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,639
Speaker 3: the wedding and leaving halfway through. My husband had a

51
00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,840
Speaker 3: great time with his family, but to me, it was

52
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,760
Speaker 3: probably one of the most depressing days of my life.

53
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,919
Speaker 3: My friend knew I didn't want to do it, so

54
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,359
Speaker 3: more family drama followed, which just added to the anxiety.

55
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,959
Speaker 3: After the wedding, she went quiet in the group chat

56
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,320
Speaker 3: then called me to tell me that everyone in our

57
00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:39,800
Speaker 3: friend group is angry with me because of how I

58
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:43,240
Speaker 3: have been the last few months. I contacted every person

59
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,720
Speaker 3: individually and said, sorry, I've been so stressed out and

60
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,400
Speaker 3: please forgive me. Every single person said it's totally fine

61
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:52,800
Speaker 3: and why would they be mad at me. Weddings are

62
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,320
Speaker 3: stressful and everyone had a great time, and essentially proved

63
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,200
Speaker 3: she was lying. She told me I was myself and

64
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,480
Speaker 3: I need to go seek help and get antidepressants, so

65
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,680
Speaker 3: I did. After three months, I stopped taking them as

66
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,840
Speaker 3: I felt like the shock of my wedding was over.

67
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,880
Speaker 3: After many sessions in counseling, my husband apologized for making

68
00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:15,200
Speaker 3: me go through with the wedding and was just so excited.

69
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,480
Speaker 3: Fast forward eight months. I'm still a poor student. I

70
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,480
Speaker 3: dropped a few subjects at UNI and did some short

71
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:25,240
Speaker 3: courses in my field of study work health safety. I

72
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,080
Speaker 3: spent all of my savings on these courses and then

73
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:31,079
Speaker 3: everything else. I spent on my husband's birthday party, all

74
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,400
Speaker 3: in the same month, so I maxed down my credit

75
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,640
Speaker 3: card and burned through my savings. Another friend, we will

76
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,640
Speaker 3: call Kayla, thirty five female, managed a liquor store. We

77
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,360
Speaker 3: met her eight months prior when we got our booze

78
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:45,520
Speaker 3: in her store.

79
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:46,280
Speaker 4: My husband and.

80
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:50,320
Speaker 3: I invested ten percent into Kit and her husband's booze company.

81
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,720
Speaker 3: I put fifteen percent of the ten percent, as that's

82
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,440
Speaker 3: all I could afford. He put the remainder. When we

83
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,480
Speaker 3: had our startup, I was running around doing everything Kit

84
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,560
Speaker 3: asked of me so we could get it off the ground,

85
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,040
Speaker 3: often driving four to five hours a day to pick

86
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,760
Speaker 3: up and deliver thing, do booze tastings for them, all

87
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,160
Speaker 3: unpaid because I'm an investor and they're my friends and

88
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,120
Speaker 3: I want them to succeed. For two point five years,

89
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,560
Speaker 3: they would always introduce me as this is my name.

90
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,040
Speaker 3: Her husband is an investor, and I would always say, well,

91
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,400
Speaker 3: we both are. I told Kit that it hurt my

92
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,120
Speaker 3: feelings when her husband did this, and why was I

93
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,039
Speaker 3: not in the booze group chat. She said, it's just

94
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,719
Speaker 3: for the sinatories whatever. I gave that up. I changed

95
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,279
Speaker 3: my mindset and thought maybe I'll help because it's my

96
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,200
Speaker 3: best friend. So we met Kayla at the liquor store.

97
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,200
Speaker 3: I do a tasting as Kit keeps leaving to do things.

98
00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,560
Speaker 3: For the last two years, I've been waiting for my

99
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,520
Speaker 3: work experience subject at UNI because my friend and her

100
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,680
Speaker 3: husband working construction. They promised they could get me some

101
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,039
Speaker 3: work experience when the time came. She works in administration.

102
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,240
Speaker 3: Her husband is a project manager. Since I've known Kit,

103
00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,359
Speaker 3: I've been the fun drinking friend on the weekend. I

104
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,080
Speaker 3: made good money throughout my twenties, so it took a

105
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,080
Speaker 3: lot of adjusting to become a broke student. Yes, I

106
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,599
Speaker 3: had savings, but that ran out by the time we

107
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,880
Speaker 3: had the wedding. When I first met her, she just

108
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,880
Speaker 3: left her fiance as his mistress, just gave birth to

109
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,880
Speaker 3: their child, and he left her with ninety thousand dollars

110
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,479
Speaker 3: in debt. Are you I'm wildly lost in.

111
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,560
Speaker 1: Where are these people coming from? That's a crazy thing

112
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:26,320
Speaker 1: to have had happened to you. That's kid's backstory. Husband

113
00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,559
Speaker 1: left Kit Yeah with a child in ninety thousand dollars

114
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,359
Speaker 1: of debt. Whoa wow. Maybe let's stop drinking on the

115
00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,159
Speaker 1: weekends and figure some stuff out. We gotta put a

116
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,640
Speaker 1: plan together, We gotta do stuff.

117
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,200
Speaker 3: I paid for everything when we went out because I

118
00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:42,839
Speaker 3: was in a position to do so. But one day

119
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,760
Speaker 3: I grew up. I knuckled down with my studies. I

120
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,000
Speaker 3: found a great man. Albeit the wedding situation was bad.

121
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,039
Speaker 3: It's been six or seven years of studying thanks to

122
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,919
Speaker 3: the world shutting down for two years. So now that

123
00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,440
Speaker 3: you've got the foundations, let's get to the story. It's

124
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,880
Speaker 3: been six months since we met Kayla. Kit and Kayla

125
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,880
Speaker 3: have been hanging out every Friday night. We have all

126
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,520
Speaker 3: been to each other's birthdays. We all like each other.

127
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,240
Speaker 3: After a massive day on a difficult course, I went

128
00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:13,760
Speaker 3: home and took a sleeping tablet at seven pm and

129
00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:16,359
Speaker 3: woke up at nine am. The next day, I was

130
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,280
Speaker 3: in bed replying to messages. Then I started getting ready

131
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,360
Speaker 3: for the day, taking my dog to the vet. Then

132
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,159
Speaker 3: going to my other friend's house to help her start

133
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,719
Speaker 3: packing to move the following weekend. Kayla had messaged the

134
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 3: night before with a discount code to some designer brand.

135
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,479
Speaker 3: I replied with, I wish I could, but I'm so

136
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,279
Speaker 3: broke after June my short courses husband's birthday around six

137
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,000
Speaker 3: thousand dollars. She replies with, if you're desperate, I can

138
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,600
Speaker 3: give you two shifts at my store. Great, I thought,

139
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,920
Speaker 3: two days, and I will fill in when someone calls

140
00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,840
Speaker 3: in sick. That way, it's not too much of a

141
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,200
Speaker 3: commitment as I have a busy month coming up. I

142
00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:54,080
Speaker 3: messaged get back in the group chat to apologize for

143
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:57,000
Speaker 3: my late response as I had a sleeping tablet that

144
00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:00,160
Speaker 3: previous night. She replied with, or you were out drinking

145
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,400
Speaker 3: with Kayla haha. I reply with that's so funny you

146
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,880
Speaker 3: mentioned her, as she just offered me to do two

147
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,880
Speaker 3: ships at her store this weekend and fill in person

148
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,280
Speaker 3: in the future. At this point, it has been thirty

149
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,239
Speaker 3: minutes since Kayla offered me a job and me telling

150
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,040
Speaker 3: Kit I'm packing the car. As I'm replying to everyone,

151
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,680
Speaker 3: I leave. Kayla messages to ask if I want to

152
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,360
Speaker 3: work that night as well. As the two other I

153
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,520
Speaker 3: say sure, I get to the shop that evening and

154
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,400
Speaker 3: start working. Kayla tells me she's going out with Kit

155
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,000
Speaker 3: that night. Kit comes in in a hurry as the

156
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,960
Speaker 3: uber is outside, drops me my sunglasses from the hangout

157
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,960
Speaker 3: the previous weekend. Doesn't say hi, just in a rush.

158
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,120
Speaker 3: I send two photos in the group chat over the

159
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:41,920
Speaker 3: weekend radio silence. Come Monday morning, I'm back on an

160
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,960
Speaker 3: intense short course ten hours per day plus four to

161
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,080
Speaker 3: five hours homework each night for two weeks. I message

162
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,040
Speaker 3: to ask her and her husband if they still have

163
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:54,160
Speaker 3: a connection for me for work experiencing in safety, otherwise

164
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,480
Speaker 3: I can organize something else. She replies with You've been

165
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,680
Speaker 3: changing your mind a lot lately with what you want

166
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,160
Speaker 3: to do with work experience, so maybe you should have

167
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,679
Speaker 3: a long, hard think about what it is you actually

168
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 3: want to do before chats can be had. I thought

169
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,880
Speaker 3: this was quite rude. After the wedding, we agreed if

170
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,600
Speaker 3: the other person does something, we would say it straight away,

171
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,200
Speaker 3: so there's no build up. So I messaged her asking

172
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,679
Speaker 3: why she said that when my degree I've been studying

173
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,360
Speaker 3: for for six years is in safety and she agreed.

174
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,800
Speaker 3: Two years ago to help me. I've asked them every

175
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,760
Speaker 3: six months since then if they can still help, and

176
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,080
Speaker 3: it's not a big deal. If they can't, I have

177
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,319
Speaker 3: other options, and also that it was rude to put

178
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,520
Speaker 3: it in a group chat. She said, I'll call you

179
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:38,280
Speaker 3: later tonight, so she calls. I answer pleasantly as usual,

180
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,640
Speaker 3: thinking she's gonna say sorry, I didn't mean it like that.

181
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,560
Speaker 3: I've just had a rough week. Instead, she goes off

182
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,600
Speaker 3: her head at me, saying I should have asked her

183
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,400
Speaker 3: permission to work at the liquor store. I shouldn't be

184
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,160
Speaker 3: telling people I am broke, as I am an investor

185
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,679
Speaker 3: and it looks bad for the business. And she had

186
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,080
Speaker 3: to hear it from someone else that I took the job.

187
00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:01,200
Speaker 1: In what universees any of this? Your tear? My guy?

188
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,040
Speaker 1: So why why are you making this into a problem.

189
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:08,840
Speaker 1: She's picking up extra shifts working behind a counter. Stop it. Yeah,

190
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:09,640
Speaker 1: what are we doing?

191
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:12,320
Speaker 3: She's working two days a week and filling in for people?

192
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,160
Speaker 1: And why is this mean anyone's problem?

193
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, also saying that Kayla was confused why we lived

194
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,320
Speaker 3: in such an expensive house, but I was saying I

195
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:24,600
Speaker 3: was poor. She took my address from my employee application

196
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,040
Speaker 3: and looked the house price up. How is that anything

197
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,640
Speaker 3: to do with me? Plus, once again, I have a

198
00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,600
Speaker 3: prenup because his family bought the house. She also said

199
00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:36,760
Speaker 3: Kayla is not our friend. She is a work colleague,

200
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,080
Speaker 3: and they only go out with her every Friday to

201
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,920
Speaker 3: try to get her to get our booze into other stores.

202
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,840
Speaker 3: I said, that's not nice to her, considering that we've

203
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,640
Speaker 3: all been to each other's birthdays and I had considered

204
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,680
Speaker 3: Kayla my friend. She said, I wouldn't understand because I

205
00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:54,160
Speaker 3: don't work in that business. I was so confused. But also,

206
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,480
Speaker 3: why are you yelling? Why didn't you say something Friday

207
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:01,440
Speaker 3: or Saturday or Sunday or Monday morning. I could have

208
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,200
Speaker 3: avoided even starting work if it meant that much to her. Plus,

209
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,120
Speaker 3: this is the first time I've been included as an investor.

210
00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,520
Speaker 3: Why now after the last year we've been saying I

211
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:14,680
Speaker 3: just work for her. We end the phone call. I'm

212
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:18,199
Speaker 3: so angry. I tell my husband and all he hears

213
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,720
Speaker 3: is that I've been telling people I'm poor and he

214
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,400
Speaker 3: is not a good provider, When all I said was

215
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,480
Speaker 3: I can't afford designer clothes because I am a student

216
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,280
Speaker 3: and just had an expensive month? Is this the wrong

217
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 3: thing to say? I didn't get much care from him

218
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,679
Speaker 3: as he was hung up on that sentence. He called

219
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:36,720
Speaker 3: her husband the next day to ask what was going on.

220
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,800
Speaker 3: He said, Kit said, apparently she told her not to

221
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,959
Speaker 3: work there, and she took the job anyway, which is

222
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,000
Speaker 3: a lie. Then the manager from the other liquor store

223
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,680
Speaker 3: passes away. That's her husband's friend, and how we got

224
00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:53,120
Speaker 3: into Kayla's liquor store. So I sent her a nice

225
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,920
Speaker 3: message saying sorry for the loss of her friend. Then

226
00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:00,000
Speaker 3: come Friday, she loses her job. She messaged Sunday saying,

227
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,760
Speaker 3: let's clear the air. I figure, let's not make my

228
00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,559
Speaker 3: birthday awkward, and we meet up a few days later,

229
00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:09,120
Speaker 3: the day before my birthday. I figure she's had a

230
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,840
Speaker 3: rough week and it's not worth losing the friendship over

231
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,840
Speaker 3: I'll apologize for all of these things. She'll apologize for overreacting.

232
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,360
Speaker 3: I say sorry for XYZ. She also says she doesn't

233
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,480
Speaker 3: actually care that I work there, just that Kayla told

234
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,440
Speaker 3: her first. I said, but I told you half hour

235
00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:28,760
Speaker 3: after she said yes. But Kayla told me first, you

236
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,200
Speaker 3: should have dropped everything you were doing and told me.

237
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,800
Speaker 3: I asked, her for an apology for what she said,

238
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,480
Speaker 3: and she replies with, well, first you want to be

239
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,920
Speaker 3: a bus driver, then you want to do a truck license,

240
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,000
Speaker 3: then you want to work at this place. So you

241
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,160
Speaker 3: see where I'm coming from. I replied, not really. What

242
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:45,920
Speaker 3: I do for a job and what I do for

243
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:49,240
Speaker 3: study and a career are two different things. I could

244
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,600
Speaker 3: be an uber driver or work at a coffee shop,

245
00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:54,080
Speaker 3: and that has nothing to do with my degree in

246
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,400
Speaker 3: work safety. She replies, I guess this is a conversation

247
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:01,200
Speaker 3: for another day. I also mentioned the booz group chat again.

248
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,880
Speaker 3: She says it's just for those who signed the contract.

249
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,200
Speaker 3: So I decided I'm not doing anything more for that business,

250
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,320
Speaker 3: regardless of how this pans out. My husband takes me

251
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,880
Speaker 3: out for my birthday over the weekend and surprise me

252
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,560
Speaker 3: with her and her husband. It was the worst birthday ever.

253
00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:17,040
Speaker 4: He thought.

254
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,600
Speaker 3: We had a little disagreement and now we're over it.

255
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,640
Speaker 3: For the entire month, my husband, her husband, and Kit

256
00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,800
Speaker 3: had a group chat organizing meetups as I was too

257
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,240
Speaker 3: busy with study. I told him, please don't do this,

258
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,760
Speaker 3: it hurts my feelings. He said, I will get over

259
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,840
Speaker 3: it and I just need another chat. With her to

260
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,440
Speaker 3: clear the air. She messaged me one to two weeks

261
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,480
Speaker 3: later to catch up as friends, not for any hard conversations,

262
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,079
Speaker 3: and I told her it seems like she has forgotten

263
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,479
Speaker 3: where we left things. She is not willing to apologize.

264
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,680
Speaker 3: Her husband, obviously, has been told a different story. We

265
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,400
Speaker 3: had a few back and forth texts, but she doesn't

266
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,920
Speaker 3: think she did anything wrong. I told my husband I'm

267
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,640
Speaker 3: not going on his family vacation anymore as I don't

268
00:12:56,679 --> 00:13:00,160
Speaker 3: feel heard or supported. He said, I'm being dramatic, but

269
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,240
Speaker 3: I stood my ground. He spoke to the counselor and

270
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,920
Speaker 3: they told him what was happening and agreed. He had

271
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,440
Speaker 3: been a wiener the last month by not realizing the

272
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,600
Speaker 3: argument was bigger than it actually was. I quit the

273
00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,120
Speaker 3: liquor store job for kit Kayla wanted to keep me

274
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:18,760
Speaker 3: on permanently. My husband doesn't speak to them anymore, but

275
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,560
Speaker 3: keeps it cordial with them because of the business. I

276
00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:24,920
Speaker 3: blocked her. I can't let that friendship take any more

277
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,000
Speaker 3: energy from me. I'm graduating in a few short months.

278
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,959
Speaker 3: I have my dream job back in my husband's country,

279
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,440
Speaker 3: as we were moving there soon for his work. I

280
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,760
Speaker 3: don't know what to do from here? Did I make

281
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,840
Speaker 3: the right choice? I feel better that I blocked her,

282
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,920
Speaker 3: but also have other friends asking if I was going

283
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,480
Speaker 3: to her birthday, which was kind of a straw that

284
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,319
Speaker 3: broke the camel's back as she organized her birthday when

285
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,360
Speaker 3: we were in a good place. Some say it's obvious

286
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,480
Speaker 3: that she is jealous, as she was always the one

287
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,240
Speaker 3: I turned to for advice and she was always ahead

288
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,679
Speaker 3: of me in life. But now my life is about

289
00:13:57,679 --> 00:14:01,480
Speaker 3: to take off house, husband, care, your money. It seems

290
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,920
Speaker 3: like she doesn't think I deserve it because she met

291
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,960
Speaker 3: me when I was the funny, wasted friend, but I

292
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,080
Speaker 3: turned my life around. I've always been the chill friend

293
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,160
Speaker 3: who lets things slide, but this time I didn't. Maybe

294
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,079
Speaker 3: that has shocked her, and that's the end of that story.

295
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:20,480
Speaker 1: I exposed my friend's awful actions to a matchmaker, and

296
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,920
Speaker 1: now he's blacklisted by everyone. Hi thirty nine female and

297
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,680
Speaker 1: friends with this guy we'll call Jake, forty two male.

298
00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,160
Speaker 1: We worked at the same place for a long time.

299
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,120
Speaker 1: I branched out and he still works there. No, we

300
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:35,920
Speaker 1: were never romantic, but due to common interests we became friends.

301
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,160
Speaker 1: I don't find him visually appealing and he doesn't find

302
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,640
Speaker 1: me attractive either. It all works out, by the way.

303
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,360
Speaker 1: This comes from user crab Apple Girl eighty six, and

304
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,520
Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

305
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,080
Speaker 1: the r slash Showcase storytime suburd it.

306
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:52,240
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and we're here to

307
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:52,880
Speaker 4: give you good advice.

308
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,320
Speaker 1: Goofully. But we don't have all the answers. We only

309
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,800
Speaker 1: know what we would do, So if you would do

310
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,000
Speaker 1: something different, let us know.

311
00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,720
Speaker 4: In the come.

312
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,960
Speaker 1: Recently, Jake came into a financial windfall. Wasn't enough to

313
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,720
Speaker 1: live off, but it was enough to let him buy

314
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,760
Speaker 1: a place of his own since he lived with his

315
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,200
Speaker 1: folks before. This a nice weekend fun car as he

316
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,120
Speaker 1: calls it, and enough money saved to where if he

317
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,160
Speaker 1: ever does get laid off from his job, he won't

318
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,280
Speaker 1: be in financial dire straits until he finds a new one.

319
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,479
Speaker 1: One of the things he splurged on was the services

320
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:27,480
Speaker 1: of a matchmaker, because despite his newfound financial situation, he

321
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,640
Speaker 1: still could not find someone. In one weird twist, the

322
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:34,160
Speaker 1: service he contracted is run by a woman that I

323
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:38,120
Speaker 1: am personally friends with. When Jake asked me, why didn't

324
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,760
Speaker 1: you hook me up before with them. All I could

325
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:43,880
Speaker 1: say was sorry, honey, you couldn't afford them before. I

326
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,400
Speaker 1: didn't say it to be mean, it was the truth.

327
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,240
Speaker 1: One thing about Jake is that he will sometimes make

328
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:55,360
Speaker 1: online videos opining about random subjects, which get hardly any views.

329
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 1: He thinks it's because in order to go viral spouting

330
00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,880
Speaker 1: off on a topic, you have to be in a

331
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,800
Speaker 1: t attractive woman who is by or sappik, a man

332
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,360
Speaker 1: with a British accent, or a raging right winger, or

333
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,840
Speaker 1: you need to post something completely outlandish that will get

334
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:11,080
Speaker 1: people talking. He recently posted something that could get people talking,

335
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,520
Speaker 1: and it got almost no views, again, which is a

336
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:18,680
Speaker 1: good thing and a'lexplain why. He spent several minutes talking

337
00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,960
Speaker 1: about how he creates AI video clips showing two women

338
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,480
Speaker 1: making out, but wind that he cannot post them publicly

339
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,800
Speaker 1: because there is a chance one of the women depicted

340
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,960
Speaker 1: in the AI could sue him. He literally said, quote

341
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,600
Speaker 1: these are sadly for my eyes only because the last

342
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,680
Speaker 1: thing I need is to be dragged into court because

343
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,280
Speaker 1: a woman got big mad that I created a few

344
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,840
Speaker 1: five second clips of her frenching her best ye or

345
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,840
Speaker 1: whomever which is a shame guy, as I know they

346
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,000
Speaker 1: would get a ton of views. When I saw this,

347
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:48,120
Speaker 1: I called him to ask if he was trolling.

348
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:48,720
Speaker 2: He said no.

349
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,680
Speaker 1: I asked if I could see them because I was

350
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,640
Speaker 1: curious as to what AI could do. So I came

351
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,440
Speaker 1: to his new house and he showed me some These

352
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,600
Speaker 1: clips are very realistic and could easily fool people if

353
00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,640
Speaker 1: they didn't know it was AI. Now sparently came to

354
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,120
Speaker 1: his senses and deleted the video talking about it, but

355
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,840
Speaker 1: not before he shared a screenshot of a DM conversation

356
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,080
Speaker 1: he had where someone begged him to take the video

357
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,719
Speaker 1: down while it still had no real views, because if

358
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,679
Speaker 1: a girl he liked saw it, she would get the

359
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,840
Speaker 1: ick so bad. He actually told the person, what about

360
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,560
Speaker 1: the men who are harmful and or controlling? Is that

361
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,479
Speaker 1: not an ick? The person told him yes, but they

362
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,119
Speaker 1: aren't stealing real women's social media picks to create AI

363
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 1: without their consent either. I had a feeling he was

364
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:29,919
Speaker 1: going to delete the post showing the DM once he

365
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,840
Speaker 1: deleted the video, so I saved it before he did.

366
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,320
Speaker 1: I decided to send it to my friend who runs

367
00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:38,399
Speaker 1: the matchmaking service, and said, I know this dude is

368
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,960
Speaker 1: my friend, but please be aware. He admitted to downloading

369
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,879
Speaker 1: pictures from random women's social media accounts to create AI

370
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:48,199
Speaker 1: kissing content without their consent. I'm talking about hungs in

371
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 1: the mouth type French kissing. G thanked me for letting

372
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,919
Speaker 1: her know. One day later, I noticed Jake posted on

373
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,440
Speaker 1: his socials was set to go see a matchmaker today,

374
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,520
Speaker 1: but an hour before the meet, they canceled on me

375
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,280
Speaker 1: and refunded my money. When I asked why, they said

376
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,240
Speaker 1: it was an internal matter. Guess they don't like money.

377
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,359
Speaker 1: He asked me if I had any inside info. I

378
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,240
Speaker 1: told him sometimes my friend just declines to work with

379
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,240
Speaker 1: people at the last minute. It happens.

380
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,280
Speaker 4: Honestly, I don't think you should have done that. I

381
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,440
Speaker 4: think you should tell him the truth.

382
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you're protecting that man at that point,

383
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,239
Speaker 3: and you need to tell him how it is, and

384
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 3: that that girl that DMed him was right, and that

385
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,560
Speaker 3: he's being a disgusting, icky human.

386
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,359
Speaker 1: I didn't want to tell him why, as I know

387
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,360
Speaker 1: he might accuse me of meddling or sabotaging over a

388
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:34,119
Speaker 1: private interest. Who cares? Am I the a hole for

389
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,800
Speaker 1: doing this? Some people are saying I did my matchmaker

390
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,359
Speaker 1: friend of favor. Others are saying I should have just

391
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,160
Speaker 1: let things play out. Some said I meddled. One said

392
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 1: I should have let the matchmaker know after she set

393
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:45,960
Speaker 1: him up with someone, so she could let his date

394
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 1: know because once a date happens, she doesn't get refunds.

395
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 1: Apparently my matchmaker friend forwarded the screenshot. I sent her

396
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,160
Speaker 1: to the other matchmakers in the area because this man

397
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,119
Speaker 1: posted on his socials that he tried some other matchmakers,

398
00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,680
Speaker 1: but as soon as they see his name in picture,

399
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,160
Speaker 1: they say no to working with him, but won't say why.

400
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:02,760
Speaker 2: Oops.

401
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 1: Comment number one, we've got comments not the A whole

402
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 1: guarantee those few in the comments defending him would change

403
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 1: their tune if it was AI of them tonguing other

404
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 1: dudes comment too downvoted fifteen times. Shout of black early

405
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 1: a ho. He hasn't shown anyone besides you the videos.

406
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 1: He deleted the video talking about it. He realized he

407
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 1: made a mistake. You took something he showed you in

408
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,760
Speaker 1: confidence and used it to ruin his dating chances. Yet

409
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 1: you still call yourself his friend. OPI says, according to him,

410
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 1: I'm repeating what he told me. Such videos are legal

411
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 1: under current laws if they are intended for private viewing.

412
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,480
Speaker 1: He also claims, after doing research, even if he was

413
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:41,120
Speaker 1: to post them publicly, an AI video solely depicting French

414
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,240
Speaker 1: kissing doesn't rise to the level of what is considered

415
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 1: illegal under that new take it Down Act anyway, as

416
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,240
Speaker 1: the women are fully clothed and aren't engaging in any

417
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:53,159
Speaker 1: spicely related intercourse activities. Of course, there is still a

418
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: possibility a woman can use tort laws to sue, but

419
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 1: again he claims he did research and the chance of

420
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,200
Speaker 1: her winning is actually low. She would have to prove

421
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,560
Speaker 1: it damaged to reputation, but still he doesn't want to

422
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 1: take the chance of it happening. While not exactly something

423
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 1: that could land him in the slammer, it could result

424
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 1: in being dragged into civil court.

425
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 2: And there's an update.

426
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,399
Speaker 1: Well, apparently Jake saw the Reddit thread put two and

427
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 1: two together and confronted me about it. So I had

428
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 1: no choice but to confess it was me. I let

429
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 1: him know I did him a favor. And here's why.

430
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,119
Speaker 1: Once my matchmaker friend sets a client up with someone

431
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 1: and they go out on a date, he considers she

432
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 1: considers her job done, and service is rendered and doesn't

433
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 1: give refunds. But it isn't really about the money. It

434
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,919
Speaker 1: really isn't about the money, Spider Man. Let's say she

435
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,160
Speaker 1: sets him up with someone and the woman in question

436
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 1: finds his creations, which are literally right there in his

437
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 1: downloads folder. How long will it be before said woman

438
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 1: complains that the matchmaker, possibly via all over the internet,

439
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 1: set her up with a person that in essence is

440
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 1: creating AI of real people using images taken from their

441
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: social media. There is also a chance that the woman

442
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,120
Speaker 1: might not blame the matchmaker but publicly try to name

443
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 1: and shame him. I don't one hundred percent approve of

444
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 1: what he's doing, but I don't think it's worthy enough

445
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 1: of putting him on blast on an app like Tea

446
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 1: or whatever. Girl, you're putting him on blast on a

447
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:06,879
Speaker 1: Reddit post right now?

448
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 2: What are you on about?

449
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 1: I will admit that on some of the Tea's clips,

450
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 1: the finished outfit actually looks nicer than the original once

451
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 1: excuse me, but again, he's doing all of this without

452
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 1: consent outfits. Why we're gonna give him credit for making

453
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 1: nice AI slop that I guarantee you is not nice.

454
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 1: Many of these where women in media testing promo shots

455
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 1: of what they wear on air. I don't think they

456
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 1: expect to have them used for a fantasy of pulling

457
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 1: their outfits down to show practically half their front air bags.

458
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,719
Speaker 4: If I knew someone like a guy friend who did this,

459
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 4: I'd be like, that's disgusting. I never never want to

460
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:51,680
Speaker 4: talk to you again.

461
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 3: They would be blocked. I'm telling other people like, I'm

462
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 3: uncomfortable to be around that person.

463
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't mean to paint a picture here, but

464
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,240
Speaker 1: I'm going to pay to picture of what is in

465
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,439
Speaker 1: my head of this of this person.

466
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 3: I don't like anybody except the.

467
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 1: Matchmakers, who rightfully were like, oh yeah, I'm not gonna

468
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:09,880
Speaker 1: help this guy get a date.

469
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 3: Heck yeah, discuss system of matchmakers that have banded together

470
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 3: to make sure he stays without matchmakings.

471
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:20,919
Speaker 1: So the guy posting online with his whole chest about

472
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 1: how he wishes he could post his non consensual AI

473
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 1: like spicy content without any repercussions or fear of being

474
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 1: prosecuted because he's using real people. Yeah, I don't think

475
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get him a date. No, sorry, you can

476
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 1: go date your AI girls. To answer some questions based

477
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,760
Speaker 1: on the comments, I don't think this is worthy of

478
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:44,159
Speaker 1: dropping the friendship over. No, he doesn't have any of

479
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 1: me that you know of.

480
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 3: It you know of he's just not showing you those ones. OPI,

481
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 3: you are starting to sound a little silly, goofy.

482
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks to the one comment mentioning it. I let

483
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 1: him know that if he ever posts the deep fakes publicly,

484
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 1: they could cause problems if the woman's family or friends

485
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 1: are closet guards and think they're real. He did acknowledge

486
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: that's another reason, but he also said, in reality, it's

487
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five. Who's gonna give a crap if they're

488
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,920
Speaker 1: in a clip kissing another female. Honestly, I think all

489
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,360
Speaker 1: the stems from him watching spicy content for so long

490
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 1: that he expects women to quote perform for him, and

491
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 1: if he knows they won't, he has turned to AI.

492
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,239
Speaker 1: I was telling him about an article I saw that

493
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 1: many fem are now going for other fems, and he said, yeah,

494
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 1: Instagram has a ton of those femfem couples. But I

495
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,439
Speaker 1: can't stand how they just peck on the lips for

496
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:34,120
Speaker 1: the camera. Where's the passion they have tongues use them? Oh?

497
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 4: Oh my god. He's like Yeah, all those fem forfem

498
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:42,200
Speaker 4: couples aren't catering their kissing pictures. To me, a man

499
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 4: messed up.

500
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 3: I need you to never talk to this man again

501
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 3: or else. I'm fully at this point considering you to

502
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 3: be just as bad.

503
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,679
Speaker 1: Comment once is gross that you'd stay friends with this

504
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: disgusting piece of trash. Comment too, you think he's still

505
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: worth being friends with. The bar really is in hell,

506
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 1: and that is the end that story clad.

507
00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 3: Some people called op out for that one.

508
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 4: My mother in law blew up because we wouldn't spend

509
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 4: Thanksgiving with her.

510
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 2: Those are some explosive family dynamics.

511
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 4: Before my husband and I got engaged almost two years ago,

512
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 4: my mother in law made several hurtful comments in front

513
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 4: of me. She said things like I didn't need a

514
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 4: real time and ring because I probably would lose it,

515
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 4: and the first marriage is basically just a trial. Those

516
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 4: comments stuck with me. By the way, this comes from

517
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 4: abbreviations Fit eighteen sixty four and if you want to

518
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,400
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime,

519
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 4: separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Matt, and we're here to

520
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 4: give good advice. Goofully, but we don't have all the

521
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 4: answers feely know what we'd do, so let us know

522
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 4: what you would do in the comments. Once wedding planning began,

523
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 4: my husband asked both his mom and dad if they

524
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 4: could help financially. My family was very generous and supportive,

525
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 4: but his mom said back in February twenty twenty four

526
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 4: that she wouldn't know what work bonus would be for

527
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,440
Speaker 4: Mark twenty twenty five, so she couldn't commit to helping.

528
00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 4: We understood, but it's still full like a note. Around

529
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 4: that same time, my family hosted an engagement dinner and

530
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 4: included everyone parents, grandparents, siblings. My husband's side showed up,

531
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 4: but didn't offer to help or contribute in any way. Then,

532
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 4: in October twenty twenty four, mother in law announced she

533
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 4: was planning a five to six k trip to Europe

534
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:22,439
Speaker 4: for her fiftieth birthday right before our wedding. She brushed

535
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,520
Speaker 4: it off with that's not that bad. Meanwhile, she continued

536
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 4: to spend money freely on concerts, hotels, exercise equipment, et cetera.

537
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 4: The money wasn't really the issue, it was the message

538
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 4: she was willing to invest thousands into herself, but not

539
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 4: even show interest in our wedding. She never asked how

540
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 4: planning was going or offered to help. Instead, she and

541
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 4: my husband's grandmother mainly complained about hair appointments, the hotel,

542
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 4: the venue change, pricing, et cetera. It was draining. The

543
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 4: lack of efforts showed in other ways too. She always

544
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 4: expects us to travel to her she's an hour and

545
00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 4: a half away, never offers to come to us, and

546
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 4: conversations usually revolve around her life, not ours. When it

547
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:07,680
Speaker 4: came to my bachelorette, I invited my friends, my family,

548
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 4: and my husband's sister. I didn't invite mother in law

549
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 4: because of how uncomfortable she makes me. After photos were

550
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 4: posted online, his grandmother commented, where is the mother at

551
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 4: the ground and blew up at my mom, cursing at

552
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 4: her and calling me a liar. Mother in law never

553
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:26,320
Speaker 4: stepped in to stop the drama. When my husband confronted her,

554
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 4: she blamed me, said I was pulling him away from

555
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,639
Speaker 4: his family, and guilt tripped him about all she's done

556
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 4: financially for him in the past car insurance, phone bill, college, etc.

557
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of these parents failed to

558
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 2: conceptualize that when people enter a relationship, they are naturally

559
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 2: going to be pulled away. Yeah, it's also their child's

560
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 2: decision to spend their time with the new relationship part.

561
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 4: Exactly and maybe make yourself, you know, likable so they

562
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 4: actually want to see.

563
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, like if they like spending time with you, then

564
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 2: they'll spend more time with you if you continually pushed

565
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 2: them away and I can sing like this show that

566
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 2: you're not the priority. Call it a trial wedding. Yeah,

567
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 2: there's no way that they're going to want to be

568
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 2: around you.

569
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,879
Speaker 4: Mother in law did show up at my bridal shower,

570
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 4: but didn't bring a gift or offer to help with anything,

571
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 4: unlike other guests who pitched in and offered to help

572
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 4: my mom. Later that night, she sent two hundred and

573
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 4: fifty dollars on Zell, claiming she forgot the card in

574
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,640
Speaker 4: her car. Five months later, the card still hasn't appeared.

575
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 4: At the versal, she spent most of the time on

576
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 4: her phone, showing off her new boyfriend. At dinner, she

577
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 4: was on her phone again. On her wedding day. She

578
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 4: made a snarky comment about me ruining my husband's dream

579
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,639
Speaker 4: of going to notere Dame because he chose to attend

580
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 4: college near me. She gave me an oddly long hug

581
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 4: before our first look, sobbed heavily during the mother son dance,

582
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 4: not a happy cry, and neither she nor's grandparents even

583
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 4: signed our photomat guestbook. After the wedding, she expected us

584
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 4: to travel to her for my husband's birthday dinner, again

585
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 4: making it all about her. Convened later, when we got

586
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 4: our wedding photos, my family asked to see them right

587
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:08,360
Speaker 4: away because they were genuinely excited. His side never asked,

588
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 4: but weeks later mother in law got upset that my

589
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,919
Speaker 4: family saw them first. Instead of being happy for us

590
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,439
Speaker 4: or even complimenting the photos, she made it about herself again.

591
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 4: In short, mother in law has repeatedly shown disinterest, disrespect,

592
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 4: and a lack of effort toward both me and our marriage.

593
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 4: The money is one thing, but her attitude and lack

594
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:31,320
Speaker 4: of care hurt more. She has never apologized or acknowledged

595
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,760
Speaker 4: any of it. Now she's assuming we'll spend the Friday

596
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 4: after Thanksgiving at her house, again an hour and a

597
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 4: half away. I don't want to go, and I don't

598
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 4: think my husband should feel guilty if we decide not to.

599
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 4: I've given her multiple chances to be respectful, involved and supportive.

600
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 4: She's shown repeatedly that she doesn't value the relationship with

601
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 4: me or her son. So am I the a hole

602
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 4: for not wanting to spend time with my mother in law?

603
00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 4: And we've got some comments.

604
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 2: Find it difficult to think that anybody in general wants

605
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 2: to spend time with this woman, much.

606
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 4: Less the woman aspire.

607
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, what have you done that has made her

608
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 2: want to spend time with you? And also like there's

609
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 2: something that OPI potentially did to sour the relationship.

610
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 4: Possibly he's just obsessed with the son.

611
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 2: I don't I don't think that there is, but like

612
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: her mother could have been something that like unconsciously OPI

613
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 2: did that ye oh he's not good enough? Or maybe

614
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 2: maybe it was just that he's not going to Notre

615
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 2: Dame in the beginning kind of a thing. But no,

616
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 2: there's they're not not the Ahold and did nothing wrong.

617
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 2: If someone wants people to spend time around them, they

618
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 2: have to make themselves someone who people want to spend

619
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 2: time with. It's it's not a rocket science.

620
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 4: I feel like sometimes you meet people and they're like, oh,

621
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 4: like I always have friends who like leave and you

622
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 4: know no one wants to hang out, and it's so

623
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 4: hard trying to get well.

624
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 2: Common denominator probably, I suppose you.

625
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 4: Know common wine. Option number one the adult option, don't

626
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 4: go visit her. Tell your husband he can have a

627
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,880
Speaker 4: relationship with her, but you're done. You're not gonna suck

628
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,160
Speaker 4: it up and put up with her disrespecting you at

629
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 4: any point in the future, and that includes if you

630
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 4: two have children. If she wants to change her tune,

631
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 4: she can come to you and prove she'll be nice,

632
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 4: but you're not gonna exert any effort to go to her.

633
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 4: Option number two, the petty option. Tell your husband you'll

634
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 4: go one more time, but any perceived slight will be

635
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 4: met with you telling her exactly what you think of her,

636
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 4: minus any type of filter you would normally have, which

637
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 4: should take care of you being asked to go in

638
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 4: the future. It's probably better to choose a path where

639
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 4: you're acting like an adult. But it sure feels good

640
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 4: be an extra petty when people deserve it. Oh, he says,

641
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,719
Speaker 4: it's funny because she has yet to say anything in

642
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 4: person anytime we saw her. It's all about her, so

643
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 4: there's no room for comments because she talks about herself

644
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 4: the entire time. I don't want to go at all.

645
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 4: And there is an update. This past Thursday, my mother

646
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 4: in law texted my husband with the plan for Thanksgiving,

647
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 4: as if we had all already agreed to go. We hadn't.

648
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 4: My husband told her we didn't want to make the drive.

649
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 4: There are other unresolved issues, but we didn't want to

650
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 4: get into them again. She pushed back, saying there would

651
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 4: be no traffic that day after Thanksgiving and that his

652
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 4: grandparents were driving five and a half hours to see everyone.

653
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 4: We stood firm and said we still wouldn't be coming

654
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 4: because there are several unresolved issues. She immediately replied white issues.

655
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 4: Though my husband listed a few examples, her response was basically,

656
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 4: how was I supposed to know if no one tells me,

657
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 4: which is frustrating because he did try talking to her

658
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 4: months ago and she shut him down, deflected the blame,

659
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 4: and played victim. I also texted her directly explaining my

660
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 4: perspective and the issues I've had. Instead of listening, she

661
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 4: doubled down. She said I make everything about me and

662
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 4: my family, that I only have issues with our side,

663
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 4: and that she feels like she's being punished for not

664
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 4: contributing financially to our wedding. She completely dismissed every valid

665
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 4: point we made. She also threw in some personal digs,

666
00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 4: saying she never traded me poorly or excluded me while

667
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 4: we were dating, claiming my husband only proposed because I

668
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 4: gave him an ultimatum, which isn't true at all. My

669
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 4: husband and I joke a lot. I may have made

670
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 4: a joking comment about this, never to her, though, because

671
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,280
Speaker 4: I was with my husband for seven and a half

672
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 4: to eight years and wanted to know his long term

673
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 4: intentions at that point. She also said she kept quiet

674
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 4: about a lot because it's his life. Then she told

675
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 4: my husband she sees him doing everything and anything for me,

676
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 4: and that she doesn't see the same from me toward him.

677
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:30,520
Speaker 4: All of this because we said we weren't coming for Thanksgiving.

678
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 4: We pointed out examples of her past behavior, like not

679
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,600
Speaker 4: signing our guest book when literally everyone else did and

680
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 4: being glued to her phone the entire rehearsal dinner. She

681
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 4: made excuses for everything it was busy, I've got et cetera,

682
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 4: and took no accountability for anything after that. My husband's

683
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 4: sister texted him saying, great job making mom cry, and

684
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,760
Speaker 4: guilt tripped him about how could he treat their mom

685
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 4: this way after everything she's done for him for twenty

686
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 4: three years, student loans, car in college, et cetera. Basically

687
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 4: the same old narrative, guilt and blame instead of reflection.

688
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 4: In response, my husband sent this, told you back then

689
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 4: it wasn't even about the money. At the versal dinner,

690
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 4: you were on your phone the entire time. How do

691
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 4: you think that made me feel seeing my mom do

692
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 4: that before my wedding. Not sure who told you about

693
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 4: the ultimatum thing, but that was never serious. She would

694
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 4: never do that and I would never make a decision

695
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 4: based on that. And yes, of course I'm going to

696
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 4: do anything and everything for my wife. She's my wife

697
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 4: after all. I don't appreciate you disrespecting her. So until

698
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 4: that stops, apologies are made and actions have changed, I

699
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 4: have nothing more to say after that. As Mom tried

700
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 4: to call him, but he didn't answer. That same day,

701
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 4: as Grandma texted saying, your grandpa and I are driving

702
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 4: five and a half hours, but your mom said you

703
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 4: didn't even want to drive. We were hoping to see everyone.

704
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 4: He didn't respond. The following day, she texted again, that's

705
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 4: how I guess we won't be seeing you for the holidays.

706
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 4: He still didn't reply. At this point, my husband or

707
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 4: I doesn't want to talk to any of them because

708
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 4: every attempt he's made to communicate has been twisted or

709
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 4: met with guilt and deflection. My birthday is this week,

710
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,200
Speaker 4: and I honestly don't think I'll respond to any of

711
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,800
Speaker 4: them if they even say anything to me. I'm completely

712
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:13,520
Speaker 4: fed up with them crossing boundaries.

713
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:14,600
Speaker 1: Am I the ale?

714
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 4: Or are we the ale? Your mother in law sucks?

715
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:18,800
Speaker 4: But that's the end of that story.

716
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 1: John.

717
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 2: Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story, but

718
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,320
Speaker 2: a quick three minute of break of ads from our sponsors.

719
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 2: My brother in law still acts like a child. How

720
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,240
Speaker 2: do we help him change?

721
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 4: Tell him to grow up?

722
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 2: Is this normal behavior? Is he a self absorbed personality?

723
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 2: To put some context, my husband and brother in law

724
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 2: are two sons. My husband is the eldest thirty eight,

725
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 2: and brother in law is the younger one, thirty six.

726
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 2: Both my father in law and mother in law keep

727
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 2: telling us to talk to brother in law to sort

728
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 2: out his issues. By the way. This comes from Original

729
00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 2: Natural eight eight sixty five, and if you want to

730
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 2: submit your own stories just like this, go to the

731
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,280
Speaker 2: r slash story time subreddit.

732
00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 4: I am Matt, I'm Sophia, I'm vincent.

733
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 2: But we're here to give good advice. Goofully. We don't

734
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 2: have all the answers, who does. We only know what

735
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 2: we would do in these situations. So let us know

736
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 2: what you would do in this situation. His issues. He

737
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,000
Speaker 2: got married quite early, even before me and my husband,

738
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 2: and then got divorced in twenty twenty. There was a

739
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,759
Speaker 2: big communication gap between the couple. The lady cheated on him,

740
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 2: as per her, he was a big baby instead of

741
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,479
Speaker 2: a man. He used to come to mother in law's

742
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 2: house to do his laundry even after marriage, made zero

743
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 2: contributions in housework, and always complained about money. They fought

744
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:32,240
Speaker 2: a lot over his money and her money. They apparently

745
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 2: dated each other for eight years before getting married. She

746
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 2: mentally and physically checked out of the relationship, while he

747
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 2: completely blamed her and remained the victim in the whole situation.

748
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,200
Speaker 2: No one knows what they talked about in their relationship.

749
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 2: She was a non vegetarian and he never told his parents,

750
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 2: which led to her hiding eggs when they visited. She

751
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 2: never wanted kids, but he says he always did. She

752
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,919
Speaker 2: drank and smoked on very occasional basis, and he had

753
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 2: issues with that. He said he assumed she would quit

754
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 2: every after getting married. The girl worshiped him before marriage.

755
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 2: She filled out his college forms, his lone form, his insurance.

756
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 2: She was like his second mother for the last eight

757
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 2: years before marriage. Even before marriage and after divorce, he

758
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 2: kept saying he wanted to be independent and move out

759
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 2: of the house, but then came running back in a

760
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,080
Speaker 2: few weeks or months. He has shifted to at least

761
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 2: six to seven houses in the last ten years, and

762
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 2: left each place after a few weeks or months. Once

763
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 2: he even made the in laws shift with him saying

764
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 2: let's move to a better house considering my mother in

765
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 2: law's health condition and the lack of a lift in

766
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 2: the current house. From there, also, he came running back

767
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 2: in two months, claiming he got dreams about the in

768
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 2: laws house and its walls during the night. He laughingly

769
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:45,320
Speaker 2: said to us he likes chickening out of such situations

770
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,440
Speaker 2: and going back to his secure place, secure because he

771
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 2: doesn't need to pay rent and only does some random

772
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 2: house expenses from time to time to justify doing something

773
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:57,000
Speaker 2: for the family. He always talks about money, and if,

774
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 2: by mistake, he spends on anyone else, he will keep

775
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,200
Speaker 2: reminding that person about it every time. He keeps saying

776
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 2: I did this for you, and I did this for you,

777
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 2: and that for you.

778
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:11,959
Speaker 4: Oh so every time he pays expenses, Yeah, I feel

779
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 4: like he's the type of person to go to a

780
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,239
Speaker 4: restaurant and be like, Oh no, no, it's all me,

781
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 4: It's on me. And then the one time I paid

782
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,480
Speaker 4: for your I paid for your food. Remember when we

783
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,400
Speaker 4: went in and out and I bought your burger and

784
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 4: they're like, it was four dollars, dude.

785
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 2: Every suspense is a weapon. You can't have a single

786
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:29,880
Speaker 2: conversation with him without him mentioning his money or portfolio.

787
00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,360
Speaker 2: He's doing well professionally, so he leaves no stone unturned

788
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 2: to brag endlessly. Oh god, he's talking about his portfolio.

789
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 2: He's like a Wall Street boy. He's a Wall Street bro.

790
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 2: He never asks about you or how you are. He

791
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,240
Speaker 2: just keeps talking about his health, his work, and his life.

792
00:37:44,239 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 2: He likes being secretive to such an extent that he

793
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 2: lives in his own delusional world. He says harsh things

794
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,919
Speaker 2: to others, then deny saying them the next second. Even

795
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,840
Speaker 2: if you show him proof, he'll deny it. Since his divorce,

796
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,399
Speaker 2: he has been staying with the in laws. He keeps

797
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,239
Speaker 2: bad mouthing me and my husband to them, saying, look

798
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,880
Speaker 2: who's staying with you and taking care of you? Mind you,

799
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 2: it's him who needs their presence, not the other way around.

800
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 2: He cannot sleep alone at night and can't even watch

801
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,320
Speaker 2: horror movies. Once he watched a horror movie with friends

802
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,720
Speaker 2: then came running back to the in laws home instead

803
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 2: of going to his flat with his roommates. His living

804
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 2: with the in laws has had a very negative impact

805
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:21,919
Speaker 2: on them. They keep fighting because of him and now

806
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 2: barely speak to each other. He has spared so much

807
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 2: negativity between them that even if they live alone, they

808
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 2: don't talk at all. Mother in law also kind of

809
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 2: depends on him for emotional support and often gangs up

810
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 2: with him against father in law. Mother in law keeps

811
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:39,959
Speaker 2: saying he's small, we need to take care of him.

812
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:44,280
Speaker 2: He's been hurt, he's scared, mind you, he's a thirty

813
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 2: six year old man.

814
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,880
Speaker 4: See, this is what's happening. We have parents that baby

815
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 4: their thirty six year old child, their little man child.

816
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 4: And now this is why he acts like that because

817
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,080
Speaker 4: he's never been told to just tough it up.

818
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:56,399
Speaker 1: Man.

819
00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 2: I will admit it's very nice not having to pay rent. Yeah, However,

820
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 2: there cuts to a point where you are letting it

821
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 2: destroy your life and the life of people around you.

822
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 4: The problem is that kid, it's.

823
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 2: Like you can't afford it. He can afford it very easily.

824
00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 1: Exactly.

825
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,160
Speaker 4: There's tons of people who live with their parents totally

826
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 4: reasonable for many different reasons. In this case, all areas

827
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,359
Speaker 4: of his life are just him being babied, him being

828
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 4: catered to by his parents, and that's it's just ridiculous.

829
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 2: When he did his MBA, instead of going to the

830
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 2: main college, he chose a secondary site a few hours

831
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,800
Speaker 2: away from home so he could come home every weekend.

832
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 2: Many of these habits developed because of mother in law's nature,

833
00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,800
Speaker 2: because of him. We've had many family interventions, but none

834
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 2: have worked. Communication is a big issue in this family.

835
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 2: Everyone avoids confrontation and wants to keep everything under wraps

836
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 2: instead of talking about it in front of him. He's

837
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 2: been in therapy since twenty eighteen. Is he a self

838
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 2: absorbed personality. It hasn't helped the family at all. As

839
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 2: an outsider, I was shocked by his behavior. He'll ask

840
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 2: for a parapha in the middle of the night at

841
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 2: one am, and mother in law will make it. I've

842
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,359
Speaker 2: told her several times he's not little or hurt. He's

843
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 2: entitled and spoiled. We fought many times because I can't

844
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,640
Speaker 2: accept his behavior of hurting everyone while expecting us to

845
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:12,520
Speaker 2: walk on eggshells around him. Every human being goes through

846
00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 2: tragedies in life, but that doesn't mean you can play

847
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 2: the victim in every situation. He creates situations himself and

848
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 2: then asks why I even react, saying I'm not part

849
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 2: of the family. He can't digest that. When he does

850
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 2: something wrong, I question him instead of brushing it under

851
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,840
Speaker 2: the rug like everyone else. My husband and I have

852
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,360
Speaker 2: completely cut him off for a year now. I've personally

853
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 2: blocked him because I can't sacrifice my mental health anymore.

854
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 2: And there is an update this year. In June, he

855
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,439
Speaker 2: fought with father in law and left the house over

856
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 2: money as usual. Then in July he found some girl

857
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 2: met her parents in another city and even went abroad

858
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:47,759
Speaker 2: to meet her brother and his family. He came back

859
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,960
Speaker 2: to India, informed his parents at the last minute, and

860
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 2: made them meet her for dinner the same day. He

861
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 2: never asked us to meet her or even talked to

862
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,880
Speaker 2: her on a phone call, which is fine. We directly

863
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 2: met her at the roca. The girl is sweet and

864
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 2: hopefully she's strong enough to handle him and his habits.

865
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:06,320
Speaker 2: He's told my in laws not to mention his past

866
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,720
Speaker 2: to the girl or her family. He says he's already

867
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 2: told them, so we shouldn't say anything fair enough, but

868
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 2: I don't trust his communication skills. He's ashamed of bringing

869
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,359
Speaker 2: the girl to the in law's house. It's the same

870
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 2: house he used to call his secure place, because he

871
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 2: feels inferior to the girl's family and thinks they might

872
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 2: reject him after seeing the house. He's ashamed of his parents. Yes,

873
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 2: the same parents who have supported him blindly through every mistake.

874
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 2: Apparently they're not educated enough compared to the girl's parents.

875
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 2: According to him, he's created an image for himself that

876
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 2: we shouldn't spoil. We met the girl's.

877
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:38,959
Speaker 4: Family, I'm lying to them.

878
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 2: Don't tell sh I'm living a deception.

879
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,240
Speaker 4: They don't know who I am. Don't tell them.

880
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:46,840
Speaker 2: I told them I'm Obama.

881
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 4: Don't tell them otherwise. They don't know.

882
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 2: We met the girl's family during the Rocca. They're down

883
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 2: to earth and humble. It seems everything is just in

884
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:56,759
Speaker 2: his head. And even if they are money minded, what's

885
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 2: the guarantee she'll stay with him if hard times come.

886
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 2: We can't have a two week conversation with him. He

887
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 2: just announces things and my in laws follow. He doesn't

888
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,839
Speaker 2: want a family, he wants puppets, saying yes to him

889
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 2: all the time. I've told my in laws that if

890
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,760
Speaker 2: they keep pushing us to talk to him, they'll lose us.

891
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 2: Let him live his life and make his mistakes. He

892
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:17,359
Speaker 2: needs to face consequences to grow up. We're standing firm

893
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 2: on keeping our distance. God bless my husband. He finally

894
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 2: told his parents. Just because I don't cry and complain

895
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 2: like he does doesn't mean we don't have our struggles.

896
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 2: We act like grown ups and have proper conversations with you.

897
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 2: If you keep taking his side because he's a thirty

898
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,279
Speaker 2: six year old cry baby, then we've had enough. We're done.

899
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 2: There's another relevant update, but any update for his feet.

900
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 2: Is there any hope for this guy?

901
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 3: No.

902
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 2: I've pointed out a few of brother in law's issues here,

903
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 2: but this is just the tip of the iceberg. The

904
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 2: guy is delusional, and what scares me most is his

905
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 2: new fiance. What's the guarantee he won't chicken out the

906
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 2: next day and say he wants to leave her. I'm

907
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,239
Speaker 2: just praying his communication is good with the girl and

908
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 2: he won won't make more blunders. Yeah, because it like

909
00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:59,280
Speaker 2: other cultures, like you don't get divorced a foot.

910
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 4: Stuck in that man if he sucks.

911
00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:04,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, if there's a divorce, then it's Yes, it's a

912
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 2: problem for the guy, but it's more a problem on

913
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 2: the woman. Yeah, she's looked as damaged goods at that point,

914
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 2: and it's how a lot of time? How is she

915
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 2: gonna pick up her life now? No, Cuzy like that

916
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 2: stigma follows. We're sticking to our words and not getting

917
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 2: involved in his matters at all, even for the wedding.

918
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 2: We're only following what mother in law and father in

919
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 2: law ask for customs nothing more. Is there any solution

920
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,920
Speaker 2: to this because I'm not sure anymore. If he's truly

921
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 2: a self absorbed person, there's no solution except keeping distance. Right,

922
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 2: that's the end, and we'll never know.

923
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:32,879
Speaker 4: Well, as long as you stay away from this guy

924
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,839
Speaker 4: and don't have to interact with him, that's, you know,

925
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 4: all you can do. But we got another story coming

926
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 4: right up. My mother in law moved in with us

927
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 4: and her habits are ruining our marriage.

928
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,720
Speaker 2: Some houses have a monster, You guys have a monster.

929
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 4: About a year ago, I thirty two female, and my

930
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 4: husband thirty eight male, had my mother in law, sixty

931
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 4: three female, move in with us due to some personal

932
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 4: issues she was having with her then boyfriend. Since then,

933
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,640
Speaker 4: it's been a night mare, but not for the reasons

934
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 4: one might think. By the way. This comes from conscious

935
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 4: Bread four five eight zero, And if you want to

936
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay, storytime,

937
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 4: separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Matt. We're here to give

938
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,760
Speaker 4: good advice, goofully, but we don't have all the answers.

939
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 4: We only know what we do, So let us know

940
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 4: what you would do in the comments. I want to

941
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 4: preface by saying that I love my mother in law.

942
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 4: She's a wonderful, generous, kind, funny, loving person. She's a

943
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 4: great grandmother too, our daughters spoiling her with gifts and

944
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 4: love as any good grandparents should. She helps us out financially.

945
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 4: We don't struggle. She just pays her share of things

946
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 4: like rent, utilities, and a small portion of the exorbitant

947
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 4: monthly grocery bill. She's all around a lovely person to

948
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 4: be around. The issue is regarding her cleansliness or a

949
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 4: complete lack thereof. To give some background here, I am

950
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:49,200
Speaker 4: undiagnosed OCD, and I recognized right off the bat what

951
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,600
Speaker 4: that sounds like. But I fit into almost every category

952
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 4: symptomatically and struggle with some borderline obsessive habits, especially as

953
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 4: it pertains to cleaning. I've always kept a night tidy house,

954
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,680
Speaker 4: even with a toddler, a dog, a cat, two birds,

955
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,279
Speaker 4: and a husband who did a lot of unlearning and

956
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 4: adult years regarding his own standards of cleanliness due to

957
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 4: his childhood. He's expressed a lot of gratitude to me

958
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 4: and his military service over the years for helping him

959
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 4: overcome some of these challenges, as he's able to live

960
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 4: an easier, tidier life because of it. I as well

961
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 4: have made adjustments in my compulsive need for cleaning by

962
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 4: reading extensively on my issues and have learned to be

963
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,320
Speaker 4: more flexible with the need for perfection at all times

964
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 4: as I know it's not conducive to a healthy own life,

965
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 4: nor is it anywhere near feasible for our household. A

966
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 4: normal day's tours are to cook dinner, give the baby

967
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,479
Speaker 4: a bath, readier bag an outfit for the next day,

968
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,080
Speaker 4: unload and load the dishwasher after dinner, sweep the floors,

969
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 4: and give the dog a short walk. This may sound

970
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 4: like a lot for one evening, but it would generally

971
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,480
Speaker 4: only take us about an hour between arriving home and

972
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:56,319
Speaker 4: being completely done with everything, including eating and ready to

973
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 4: relax in our night and spend time with our kiddo.

974
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:01,680
Speaker 4: Then my mother in law moved in. In the interest

975
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 4: of time, I will simply bullet the type of things

976
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 4: we are now facing on a daily basis. Species or

977
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 4: urine on the toilet seat or bowl that must be

978
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:13,440
Speaker 4: cleaned prior to use, species or urine on her bedroom

979
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 4: floor from her dog that is not properly clean, dog

980
00:46:16,480 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 4: hair in every room all over the floor, furniture counter's table,

981
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,560
Speaker 4: toilet seat, shower drawers and covers, including on clean dishes,

982
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 4: and laundry dog poop on the floor from her not

983
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 4: cleaning up her dog's mess and either stepping in it

984
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 4: herself and tracking it inside. We don't see this mess

985
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,760
Speaker 4: until we get home some six hours later. She leaves

986
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 4: for work at twelve pm.

987
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 3: Is she not cleaning her feet off?

988
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 4: No, she's just going to work with poop dog poop feet.

989
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:45,480
Speaker 2: Either she's completely insensitive in her feet area, or she

990
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 2: sees it.

991
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 4: Washes it off, then leaves so by then it's very

992
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,919
Speaker 4: dry and must be scrubbed off half or improperly done

993
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:55,760
Speaker 4: chores that ultimately just create more work or financial burden

994
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 4: on us. Examples of this are only putting half the

995
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 4: clean dishes away from the dish washer and then loading

996
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,919
Speaker 4: the dirty dishes so that we're washing clean dishes over

997
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 4: and over again.

998
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:09,880
Speaker 2: What this is weaponized and competence. This is there's no way.

999
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,239
Speaker 4: I'm having a conversation with her and I'm saying you

1000
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:14,400
Speaker 4: have to fix this or you're leaving.

1001
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 2: The first time the dog poops done, Hey, yo, dog outside,

1002
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 2: cannot outside, Sorry, build a dog here. You need to leave.

1003
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:24,280
Speaker 2: Second time, Hey, you can't stay here with your dog.

1004
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 4: You're gone.

1005
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,399
Speaker 2: Third time you are gone out out you.

1006
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 4: Are gone, leaving clean dishes piled up on the counters

1007
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 4: and claiming she doesn't know where they go. Overloading or

1008
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 4: loading food cake dishes into the dishwasher that will never

1009
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 4: get clean on their own, then rerunning them over and

1010
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,880
Speaker 4: over in the dishwasher without addressing the obvious, very glued

1011
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 4: on food, putting away dishes in the cupboards and drawers

1012
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 4: with very obvious caked on food, cleaning up after herself

1013
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:51,359
Speaker 4: when making food or preparing her coffee, but leaving very

1014
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 4: obvious coffee streaks, stains, crumbs, and condiments, trips all over counters,

1015
00:47:56,200 --> 00:47:59,919
Speaker 4: the microwave, fridge, freezer, randalls, drawers, and cabinet poles in front.

1016
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:03,839
Speaker 4: Basically anything that gets spilled just gets the most superficial

1017
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,439
Speaker 4: smear of a dry cloth, and she calls it done.

1018
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 4: Doing multiple very small loads of laundry that she then

1019
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 4: folds and leaves on top of the washing machine, which

1020
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,320
Speaker 4: piles up to the ceiling and then topples over onto

1021
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 4: the floor of our basement We've abandoned trying to keep

1022
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 4: the basement tidy, so if anything falls to the floor,

1023
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 4: it's doomed. The laundry is also so covered in dog

1024
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 4: hair that it often clogs the plumbing, which then requires

1025
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:29,640
Speaker 4: my husband to go rooting around to dig out the blockage.

1026
00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:31,799
Speaker 4: And with all the poop and pee being washed out

1027
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,360
Speaker 4: of hers and her dogs blankets, you can imagine what

1028
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 4: the backed up water must be.

1029
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 2: Light in their blankets.

1030
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 4: This is my nightmare. This is my nightmare. This is

1031
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 4: by no means an exhaustive list of the issues that

1032
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 4: we're dealing with on a day to day basis, and

1033
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,879
Speaker 4: my husband and I are on the same page about

1034
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 4: enough being enough. Recently, sometime mid December, she decided to

1035
00:48:51,640 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 4: purchase a new vehicle, which my husband and I supported

1036
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:57,760
Speaker 4: because the vehicle she was driving wasn't a good purchase

1037
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 4: to begin with, and she'd been having nothing but issues

1038
00:49:00,440 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 4: with it since its purchase three to four years ago.

1039
00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 4: The issue here is that she became enamored with a

1040
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 4: pickup truck, likely from how much my husband went on

1041
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:10,680
Speaker 4: about how much he loved it. He's a mechanic and

1042
00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 4: a truck enthusiast. That was simply too much vehicle for

1043
00:49:13,600 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 4: a little sixty something year old woman, both in performance

1044
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:19,239
Speaker 4: as well as cost. The trim toe package and all

1045
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:22,240
Speaker 4: its bells and whistles are included, making it a massive

1046
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,279
Speaker 4: financial burden on her. She can sleep, use that in

1047
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 4: the bed, Yeah, use that money to buy a place.

1048
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:31,600
Speaker 4: Now her financial support has fallen to the wayside as

1049
00:49:31,640 --> 00:49:34,160
Speaker 4: she no longer pays her portion of utilities and only

1050
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,399
Speaker 4: pays about half of her share of the grocery bill

1051
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 4: as she's become up to her eyeballs in debt. Her

1052
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 4: truck and insurance payment alone is somewhere north of one

1053
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 4: thousand dollars per month combined. My husband and I have

1054
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 4: decided to cut her some slack, as she's voiced her

1055
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 4: concern with feeling like she's ripping us off from a

1056
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,399
Speaker 4: financial perspective, Well, she.

1057
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 3: Is, you are.

1058
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:56,239
Speaker 4: You're a terrible house guest. So we're only asking her

1059
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 4: for a portion of the rent about four hundred dollars

1060
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 4: per month, and everything else we can simply eat for

1061
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 4: the time being, the caveat being that she trims the

1062
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:07,359
Speaker 4: fat and sorts her finances in the interim. She's been

1063
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 4: working on obtaining a second job, totally unnecessary from my

1064
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 4: point of view, as she's a nurse and makes well

1065
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 4: over what my husband and I do combined, which is

1066
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,439
Speaker 4: of course both good and bad.

1067
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,839
Speaker 2: Then sell the car, sell the car, get a more

1068
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:23,840
Speaker 2: affordable one, even if truck, get a more affordable truck.

1069
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 2: And then like if you're making more than the husband.

1070
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,840
Speaker 4: Both and by good because it means more money for

1071
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:32,600
Speaker 4: her and less time and that has to make big

1072
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 4: messes bad because it means no time to relax and

1073
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 4: recoup from her work week and no time to spend

1074
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 4: with family or friends. In addition to the myriad of

1075
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:43,359
Speaker 4: cleaning issues and the recent financial burden we've taken on,

1076
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 4: she struggles with regular use. Those who know anything about

1077
00:50:48,239 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 4: that and know that it's very possible and likely to

1078
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:56,280
Speaker 4: swap one less socially acceptable doc for another more palatable one.

1079
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 4: My mother in law used to be addicted to pain

1080
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 4: medications and now strug with control as it pertains to

1081
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 4: food and shopping. She also spends vast amounts of time

1082
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 4: glued to her phone to the point of neglecting my

1083
00:51:08,280 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 4: daughter when she has been left in her care.

1084
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 2: This fath is not she's gone.

1085
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 4: She's gone.

1086
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 2: She's gone, She's not being around.

1087
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 4: I'm not leaving her in the carab You know I'm

1088
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:16,399
Speaker 4: not leaving my daughter.

1089
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,360
Speaker 2: You can visit, but you're never alone.

1090
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 4: She has a very ill group of friends and semi

1091
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 4: relationships that all sort of pat each other's backs and

1092
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 4: sink into victimhood rather than addressing the very real concerns

1093
00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 4: their friends and family may have for them. This is

1094
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:33,080
Speaker 4: exemplified in the way that my mother in law snaps

1095
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 4: and collapses in on herself emotionally whenever my husband or

1096
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:39,400
Speaker 4: I attempt to bring any of her behaviors to her attention.

1097
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 4: We understand that regular use should be handled very delicately.

1098
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,799
Speaker 4: Both my husband and I have struggled with her own

1099
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 4: forms of regular use, so for her to say we

1100
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 4: don't know what we're talking about is simply untrue and

1101
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:54,759
Speaker 4: a juvenile tactic of avoidance. As of a month ago,

1102
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 4: we're no closer to a solution, no updates on her

1103
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 4: financial input, and she's totally ineffectual at lending help with childcare.

1104
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:06,399
Speaker 4: Cleanliness concerns are stacking up. I'm so lost, and I'm

1105
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:08,680
Speaker 4: struggling not to hurt my mother in law because I

1106
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 4: do love her and I desperately don't want to hurt her.

1107
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 4: And anyway, there's a little bit left to the story.

1108
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,840
Speaker 2: You gotta get her out of there. She's family, but

1109
00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:20,720
Speaker 2: she's putting your daughter and your pets, and your home

1110
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 2: and your sanity and your finances at risk because you're

1111
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 2: paying to clean You're you're spending all that time, all

1112
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:30,320
Speaker 2: that money, all those resources to clean up her mess.

1113
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:33,799
Speaker 2: What happens if your child or your pets like eat

1114
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 2: that dog poop literally or and like it's getting it's

1115
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 2: clogging up yours, your pipes, it's in the blankets.

1116
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,600
Speaker 4: It's just not safe. It's not safe.

1117
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 2: I don't understand how she can live like this.

1118
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 1: I know.

1119
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:48,520
Speaker 4: My question is how much is enough?

1120
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:49,279
Speaker 3: Is it?

1121
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:50,760
Speaker 4: At this point we give her the boot?

1122
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:51,120
Speaker 3: Yes?

1123
00:52:51,200 --> 00:52:51,480
Speaker 2: Yes?

1124
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 4: Am I simply expecting too much?

1125
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 1: Yes?

1126
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:53,960
Speaker 3: No?

1127
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 2: No, no, No, you're expecting exactly the proper amount? Yeah?

1128
00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 4: Or is my aversion to her lack of personal awareness?

1129
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:00,120
Speaker 4: Just off? I?

1130
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 2: No?

1131
00:53:01,239 --> 00:53:01,439
Speaker 1: Yes?

1132
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 2: Ye are yeah? I mean I thought I heard the

1133
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:06,800
Speaker 2: just I'm like, no, it is justified.

1134
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 4: How would you go about handling this? I have my

1135
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 4: daughter to think about two and we just can't keep

1136
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:14,279
Speaker 4: living like this. Please, any suggestions are welcome.

1137
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:18,640
Speaker 2: Even without the daughter. Like human and animal feces not okay.

1138
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 4: I'm not living in that, and you shouldn't be putting

1139
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 4: your daughter in that. And you have to focus in

1140
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,760
Speaker 4: your daughter. But that's the end of that story.

1141
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 2: Hey, it's sam og Host. We're gonna get back to

1142
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:27,760
Speaker 2: these delectable stories.

1143
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 4: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to

1144
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:32,680
Speaker 4: help support the show. My mother in law insulted my

1145
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:35,799
Speaker 4: cooking after I made it specifically for her.

1146
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:37,680
Speaker 5: Ooh no, we're cooking for her.

1147
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:40,120
Speaker 4: My mother in law moved in with us three months ago,

1148
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,560
Speaker 4: temporary but long term situation. I've been struggling to adjust

1149
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:47,120
Speaker 4: to her intrusive and at times overbearing presence, but overall,

1150
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:49,879
Speaker 4: she does love me and has good intentions. She does

1151
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,319
Speaker 4: her best to be kind. I think I believe the

1152
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 4: intrusive behaviors come from cultural differences, but it can be

1153
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 4: very suffocating and offensive sometimes. By the way, this comes

1154
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 4: from Banana Bread fifty two to forty one. And if

1155
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 4: you want to spit your own stories, go to the

1156
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 4: r slash Okay, storytime, separate it.

1157
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,359
Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we both have aleries, and we.

1158
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,520
Speaker 4: Both have allergies. But we're here to give good advice.

1159
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:14,280
Speaker 4: Goofy anyway, But we don't have all the answeres.

1160
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 2: We only have aleries.

1161
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 4: Allerg Jesus let us know what you and do in

1162
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 4: the comments, She's decided to go vegan for Lents. I

1163
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:24,360
Speaker 4: wanted to do something nice for her, so I decided

1164
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:27,759
Speaker 4: to go the Impossible brand vegan ground beef and make

1165
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:29,880
Speaker 4: a dish out of it. It took me almost two

1166
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 4: hours in the morning to prep and then another three

1167
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:33,520
Speaker 4: in the evening to actually cook.

1168
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 1: Food.

1169
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:36,319
Speaker 4: Finally is ready to eat, and she's being very nice.

1170
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,919
Speaker 4: At first, I say to my husband and her, how

1171
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 4: crazy it is that Impossible brand tastes so much like

1172
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 4: real meat, and we're talking about how they do it.

1173
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:46,719
Speaker 4: Now I'm pressed, I am I how it can taste

1174
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 4: and have the texture exactly like real ground beef. She

1175
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,799
Speaker 4: was really excited that this is even an option during

1176
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 4: her vegan period. Fast forward, as I'm putting the leftovers away,

1177
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,800
Speaker 4: she comes up to me and starts critiquing the food.

1178
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 4: It's good, but I think you need to add these

1179
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,880
Speaker 4: spices to make it taste more like meat, and then

1180
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:05,160
Speaker 4: it would be better. It doesn't taste like meat. She

1181
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:07,759
Speaker 4: proceeds to repeat her critiques a couple of times over

1182
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,839
Speaker 4: the course at the evening, always in a moment where

1183
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 4: my husband is just out of earshot. So you can't

1184
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 4: hear her. Not sure if that's on purpose or not,

1185
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:16,920
Speaker 4: but yeah, I know it seems small and overall she

1186
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 4: was grateful for the meal, but for me, this was

1187
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:21,720
Speaker 4: just the straw that broke the camel's back. It's always

1188
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 4: little comments like this throughout the day, always her trying

1189
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 4: to teach me how to do everything, as if I'm

1190
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:29,319
Speaker 4: not a fully grown woman and she simply knows all,

1191
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,880
Speaker 4: which is ironic because most days she's always doing at

1192
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 4: least one thing that makes me wonder if she's a

1193
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:37,560
Speaker 4: little slow, always breaking things, never listens to house rules,

1194
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 4: et cetera. I didn't even have to cook for her.

1195
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:42,440
Speaker 4: I did so out of kindness, and then after hours

1196
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:44,600
Speaker 4: of effort, she decides she'd like to teach me how

1197
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 4: to cook. Cooking is my happy place and my hobby.

1198
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:49,439
Speaker 4: Perhaps I'm being too sensitive here, but it's the one

1199
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,919
Speaker 4: thing I know I'm an expert at. I've been told

1200
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 4: as much, and I find it ridiculously insulting and never

1201
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,040
Speaker 4: want someone to lie if they don't like my food.

1202
00:55:57,160 --> 00:55:58,840
Speaker 4: But if you don't like it, just don't eat it

1203
00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 4: and move on. It's rude to offer opinions on advice unsolicited,

1204
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:06,160
Speaker 4: especially when literally one day ago she didn't even know

1205
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:10,520
Speaker 4: vegan meat existed, like at all. She immigrated here recently

1206
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 4: from a country that doesn't have that sort of thing, apparently,

1207
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:15,719
Speaker 4: and suddenly she's an expert on how to use it

1208
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:18,960
Speaker 4: in cooking. Am I overreacting or reading too deep into it?

1209
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 2: I don't know. I just love it.

1210
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:22,759
Speaker 5: How she's like, this meat could taste like meat, it

1211
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:25,320
Speaker 5: could taste meteor. You know it needs meat.

1212
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 4: I think it just needs meat.

1213
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:26,839
Speaker 2: Girl.

1214
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:29,800
Speaker 4: Sorry, guys, been bottling up my frustrations and just needed

1215
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:32,600
Speaker 4: to vent. I know it's a minor thing. This morning,

1216
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 4: she brought out her little cookbook to make a cake

1217
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 4: and said, I really wish this book was in English

1218
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 4: because that would be helpful for you. Somebody, please take

1219
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:42,680
Speaker 4: me off a ledge. I ignored her comment entirely, but

1220
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:44,440
Speaker 4: I'm really close to being a witch at this point.

1221
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 4: My husband has gone at work right now. Go figure.

1222
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 4: I will say that one. I feel like it depends

1223
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:50,360
Speaker 4: on how.

1224
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 3: She said it.

1225
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 5: I feel like that could just be like, hey, like I.

1226
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,879
Speaker 4: Want I wish, Yeah, I wish that because I want

1227
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:57,920
Speaker 4: to make this cake, but it's not in English. So

1228
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 4: if you ever wanted to make a cake from this cookbook,

1229
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 4: couldn't I feel.

1230
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:04,360
Speaker 6: Like that if someone's sharing recipes, I get how she

1231
00:57:04,480 --> 00:57:07,040
Speaker 6: delivered it. Yes, but if someone's sharing recipes, I think,

1232
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 6: especially for like people who love to cook, I feel

1233
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 6: like that's like one of the most.

1234
00:57:11,040 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 4: Like I love sharing recipes with you.

1235
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 5: It's like one of the most grateful things you can

1236
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:16,000
Speaker 5: do among people.

1237
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 4: There is an update, Well, you were all right, She's

1238
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 4: not well intentioned and innocent after all, Ear and her

1239
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,360
Speaker 4: two daughters are both toxic as heck, and her true

1240
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 4: colors finally showed he comes from a Middle Eastern household.

1241
00:57:28,640 --> 00:57:31,200
Speaker 4: In their Christian she tried to cite the Ten Commandments

1242
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 4: as her reasoning. I went to Catholic school for eighteen

1243
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:36,000
Speaker 4: years growing up, and I'm very aware of the fact

1244
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 4: that the Bible states that nobody accept God himself comes

1245
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 4: before your wife. But I digress.

1246
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 1: Oh.

1247
00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 4: She also stated that she's not living with us, then

1248
00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 4: my husband will be paying for her to have a

1249
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 4: place to stay and have his own bank account just

1250
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:51,320
Speaker 4: for her expenses, and that this was also end of story.

1251
00:57:51,440 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 4: Mother in law and sister in law's justification for this

1252
00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 4: is because she paid for his medical school and you

1253
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 4: guys wouldn't be here without mother in law's financial So.

1254
00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 2: Oh my, I love the you be here if I didn't,

1255
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 2: you know, have you.

1256
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:05,840
Speaker 3: Huh?

1257
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 4: I think this is simply untrue for two reasons. I

1258
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:13,400
Speaker 4: have never ever accepted any sort of financial assistance from

1259
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 4: her myself, and my husband never asked her for help.

1260
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:19,439
Speaker 4: She gave it to him willingly, because that's what parents do.

1261
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:21,920
Speaker 4: It wasn't money she earned, it was money father in

1262
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:24,080
Speaker 4: law had set aside for him many years ago for

1263
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:26,520
Speaker 4: his education. And if they hadn't done that, my husband

1264
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 4: was fully prepared to pull out student loans. Me in

1265
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,920
Speaker 4: my side of the family have collectively paid more than

1266
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 4: half of our rent and bills for the past five years.

1267
00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 4: I honestly am too tired to explain how we got

1268
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,760
Speaker 4: here in this big argument. Maybe I'll make another post later.

1269
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,080
Speaker 4: I'll probably post later today about how absolutely insane his

1270
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,560
Speaker 4: family has been towards me and us for the past

1271
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:47,880
Speaker 4: two days. Or the record, my husband does not agree

1272
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 4: that mother comes before wife. He does believe it is

1273
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 4: his duty to take care of her if she cannot

1274
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 4: care for herself, which I've never been against because we

1275
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:57,960
Speaker 4: both love her and I want the same for my

1276
00:58:58,040 --> 00:59:00,440
Speaker 4: mom too, as long as it isn't impact acting our

1277
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 4: finances or marriage. Currently mother in law is impacting both. Anyways,

1278
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:06,720
Speaker 4: my husband is finally aware of how she treats me

1279
00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 4: because I recorded the conversation. Thanks for the advice, Reddit.

1280
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,880
Speaker 4: He's working one hundred hour weeks right now with zero

1281
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,040
Speaker 4: days off for the next few weeks, so he hasn't

1282
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 4: had time or energy to address it, but he has

1283
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 4: assured me that he is going to once he can.

1284
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 4: That might be a while, it would seem. Until then,

1285
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 4: all I have is the ability to vent about it

1286
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 4: on Reddit. Love that for me. Am I the a

1287
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 4: hole for not thinking that the cultural standards he was

1288
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:32,560
Speaker 4: raised in applied to us and our marriage because I

1289
00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:35,080
Speaker 4: am fifty percent of this household. In my eyes, When

1290
00:59:35,120 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 4: we got married, we left our old lives behind and

1291
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 4: started a new family with our own family culture that

1292
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 4: can be whatever we want it to be. And there

1293
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:45,480
Speaker 4: is a third update. It was a group call between me, husband,

1294
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:47,960
Speaker 4: mother in law, and the two sister in laws. A

1295
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:50,720
Speaker 4: lot happened, but at one point they were all ganging

1296
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 4: up on your husband.

1297
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 5: Oh, I was gonna say, yeah, they probably bullying him

1298
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:55,200
Speaker 5: to do this, It's.

1299
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,360
Speaker 6: Gonna be the thing of like everyone's like this is

1300
00:59:57,440 --> 00:59:59,720
Speaker 6: someone someone disagrees and like it starts getting to like

1301
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 6: a huge ruckus and they're diverting the anger to somebody

1302
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 6: in the group. I was going to say, either a

1303
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 6: husband or op.

1304
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, about how he never emotionally validates them when they're

1305
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:11,800
Speaker 4: up thet sister in law made a comment saying, when

1306
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 4: we visited for Christmas, I saw you comforting and validating Ope,

1307
01:00:15,840 --> 01:00:18,440
Speaker 4: and it made me jealous. She continued on about how

1308
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 4: he hasn't been a good brother or good son lately.

1309
01:00:21,280 --> 01:00:23,680
Speaker 4: Nobody else seemed to clock that comment, ben I did.

1310
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:26,320
Speaker 4: She said this to illustrate how she wishes he would

1311
01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:29,200
Speaker 4: comfort and validate her when she's upset the way he

1312
01:00:29,240 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 4: does me. But let's be for real, the real message

1313
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 4: behind all of this was, really.

1314
01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:35,040
Speaker 3: We're jealous after our wife.

1315
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 4: The truth finally slipped up. I just looked at my

1316
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 4: husband and quietly said, mn. There it is for context.

1317
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 4: My mother in law lives with us and his whole

1318
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 4: rest of his family. Both sister in law's plus older

1319
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 4: sister in law's husband stayed with us for almost two

1320
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:53,160
Speaker 4: weeks during Christmas. He was comforting me a bunch because

1321
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:55,560
Speaker 4: of the amount of stress we were both under having

1322
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 4: to host them for Christmas at our house because they

1323
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:01,520
Speaker 4: were being difficult. Guess, despite my knowing this would be

1324
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:03,600
Speaker 4: a hard time for me, I welcomed them with open

1325
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:07,840
Speaker 4: arms and was bending over backwards to accommodate them. So yeah,

1326
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 4: he was comforting me and validating me when I wanted

1327
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:14,520
Speaker 4: hugs and kisses. I'm sorry your brother wasn't hugging you enough.

1328
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:17,760
Speaker 4: What do you mean you're jealous? I honestly cannot with

1329
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:20,480
Speaker 4: these guys anyway. How's your week going?

1330
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:21,040
Speaker 1: Edit?

1331
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:24,160
Speaker 4: To clarify, the sister in law who's married isn't the

1332
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:26,479
Speaker 4: one that made this comment. It was the younger sister

1333
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:28,720
Speaker 4: in law that said it. They are all fully grown adults.

1334
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:30,560
Speaker 4: By the way, younger sister in law does have a

1335
01:01:30,560 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 4: boyfriend that wasn't present over the holiday, and there is

1336
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 4: a fourth up day. Never Mind the fact that my

1337
01:01:36,120 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 4: own husband has directly told her that he believes God

1338
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 4: has acknowledged me as his wife, and that she was

1339
01:01:42,080 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 4: out of line for even saying that at all. Never

1340
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:46,920
Speaker 4: mind the fact that neither of us is nearly as

1341
01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:49,120
Speaker 4: religious as she is. To begin with, also that if

1342
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:52,440
Speaker 4: we had kids in her country, they'd be considered illegitimate

1343
01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:55,280
Speaker 4: children and would not get any inheritance if my husband

1344
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:58,040
Speaker 4: passed away. My response, well, I guess it's a good

1345
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 4: thing we don't live in that country and that doesn't

1346
01:02:00,560 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 4: have any assets there to inherit to begin with. Finally

1347
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:06,040
Speaker 4: got her paperwork in order, and my husband is finally

1348
01:02:06,080 --> 01:02:09,919
Speaker 4: seen her for who she is, a disrespectful, entitled mother

1349
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 4: in law from heck, He's agreed that once she leaves

1350
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,960
Speaker 4: this time, we will be informing her that she's no

1351
01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:18,040
Speaker 4: longer allowed to live with us any further. She will

1352
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:20,440
Speaker 4: likely insist that he pays for her to live elsewhere,

1353
01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:22,440
Speaker 4: even though we can't afford it and also want to

1354
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 4: save up so we can actually live our own lives.

1355
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 4: But at this point I'd rather lose money just to

1356
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:29,160
Speaker 4: get her out of my hair than have to suffer

1357
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:32,120
Speaker 4: another moment longer with her in my house. My peace

1358
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 4: comes out of financial price, it seems, and frankly, I'm

1359
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 4: willing to pay it. During the fight, my mother in

1360
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:40,400
Speaker 4: law said a few other lovely nuggets. She told my

1361
01:02:40,480 --> 01:02:43,160
Speaker 4: husband that he only has one mother, but he could

1362
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 4: have many different women if he wanted. She insisted that

1363
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:49,120
Speaker 4: she wasn't mean, but that she could be mean if

1364
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:51,439
Speaker 4: she wanted to. He even added that she could say

1365
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 4: things like my fister in laws better than me, but

1366
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 4: she chooses not to.

1367
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:57,120
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1368
01:02:56,840 --> 01:03:01,600
Speaker 4: She says to you. I could say that your sister

1369
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:02,920
Speaker 4: in law is better than you.

1370
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:03,800
Speaker 2: I could say it.

1371
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:07,000
Speaker 4: I could say it, but I won't. That's you saying it, girl,

1372
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:10,160
Speaker 4: you just said it. She accused us of installing security

1373
01:03:10,160 --> 01:03:12,640
Speaker 4: cameras just to spy on her all day, even though

1374
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:14,560
Speaker 4: we've had them for five years because of our dog,

1375
01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:17,480
Speaker 4: and she's only been living with us for six months. Finally,

1376
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:20,040
Speaker 4: she claimed that my father in law's biggest regret was

1377
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:23,040
Speaker 4: letting my husband come to this country, saying that I

1378
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 4: was taking him away from his family. Anyways, I'm at

1379
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,320
Speaker 4: my wits end. I told husband that I'm giving him

1380
01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:30,960
Speaker 4: until July. If I don't see a purchase plane ticket

1381
01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:33,800
Speaker 4: by then with a specific date in hand that says

1382
01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:36,960
Speaker 4: exactly when she's leaving, and if said flight is not

1383
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:39,200
Speaker 4: sometime before the end of this year, then I will

1384
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 4: be moving out by the end of July. I won't

1385
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 4: divorce him, but I won't be living like this anymore,

1386
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:47,120
Speaker 4: and I sures heck won't be paying rent or utilities

1387
01:03:47,160 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 4: here if I move out, and that is the end

1388
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:50,160
Speaker 4: of that story.

1389
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:51,400
Speaker 5: I don't like ultimatums.